This is not new information, but I am a strong believer in karma. I really do think that our actions have reactions, and that we get back what we send into the world, for better or worse. How many times have I thought I’d never do THAT and then I find myself in that exact situation, doing exactly that which I have disparaged? The answer is many. Many, many times. I have also said or done things that I have regretted, and that negative karma came right back to bite me, many times in my life.
Related to karma, a subset of karma, if you will, is Cart Karma. I think there are two things most associated with me as a person: the song Landslide, and my incandescent rage at people who do not return shopping carts to the carrel. Well, incandescent rage might be extreme. It really depends on the time of the month and what else is going on in my life at the time; my feelings range from mild irritation to disgust to despair for all humanity to incandescent rage.
When I die, may that be many decades in the future, I want my obituary to request that in lieu of flowers or any kind of charitable donation, my final wish is for people to just return their carts to the carrel. If we all did this, the world would be a much, much better place.
Also, I want Landslide to play at my funeral.
My disgust for non-shopping-cart-returners is so well known that even people I don’t know well send me memes or articles about shopping carts. Last week my dear friend Hannah (HI HANNAH) sent me this article, and it was a Very Satisfying Read. As Hannah said, I love that science basically proved that some people are dicks. Listen, I have All The Empathy for young mothers who have screaming children and for whom every second counts and maybe, maybe, maybe sometimes that means that they don’t return their carts. I give those women a pass. But I think that those women are in the extreme minority, as per my observations in the field. In fact, I have never seen a person with screaming children leave their cart askew, but I believe that they exist.
Most of my shopping is done at Superstore which, happily for my mental state, employs coin-operated shopping carts. You had better believe that even the most dedicated non-shopping-cart-returner will take their cart back to the carrel to get their dollar. I mean, children could be melting down, bombs could be going off inside their car, a tornado could be touching down in the parking lot, and they would still retrieve their loonie. No one in the history of the world has ever not returned a coin-operated cart. I know we would all like to believe that we all naturally want to work together towards the Greater Good, but if parking lots are any indication, Adam Smith was right. We need the Invisible Hand of the coin-operated shopping cart in order to achieve the social benefits and public good of an organized parking lot. Without external financial motivators, all devolves into utter chaos and disorder. It might be disheartening, but it’s true.
My general grocery routine is to visit Superstore weekly, right at their opening time. As I have said, this is good for my mental state, even if Superstore is constantly going through weird and unexpected shortages, that may or may not be pandemic-related. An example very relevant to my life: it has been very hard to get popcorn lately; Boom Chicka Pop has all but disappeared from the shelves, and so I have resorted to Skinny Pop and the ridiculously and kind of offensively-named Lesser Evil. I know. I know. I probably brought the Boom Chicka Pop shortage on myself for purchasing such a stupid item that applies a moral valuation to food, which I am against on principle. But needs must, sometimes.
Every two or three weeks, right after my Superstore visit, I head to Costco which, happily, has an opening time exactly one hour after Superstore. The later I get to Costco, the more disorganized the parking lot is, so for my own psychological health I try to get there as close to nine as possible. But sometimes, it doesn’t happen.
Let’s circle back to Cart Karma. Cart Karma, for those unfamiliar with the concept I have been broaching lo these many years, is that if you rescue a stranded cart from the parking lot, you will have a great shopping experience. I know it’s just one cart among many, but like the story of the child throwing starfish back into the sea, you might not be able to save them all but you can save THIS one. I remind myself of that every shopping trip, as I look in despair at all the carts stranded in parking spaces and awkwardly shoved onto the medians. I can save this one. It can feel overwhelming, but every cart we save makes a difference.
A few weeks ago, this is what I saw:
Even for Costco, this was a new low. You will notice in the background a cart in the parking space: that’s standard. But this, this is in the middle of the ROADWAY where people DRIVE. People driving into the parking lot would have to maneuver their cars around it, and I am not going to live in that kind of world. There were many unsaved carts to choose from but I chose this one. NOT ON MY WATCH, PEOPLE.
I saved that cart and I had a great shopping experience: no lineups, no crowds in the famously-crowded produce section, almond butter at a much-lower price than normal which is notable because everything else is much-higher, and my favourite dried strawberries were available. Dried strawberries are only available a couple times a year, and so even though I am trying not to overstock my pantry, I stocked up. (My husband, later, looked at the receipt with puzzlement. “You spent $58 on strawberries? What…kind of strawberries?” For the record, it was six bags of strawberries and that should last me a solid six months.)
Let us compare that shopping trip to the one before that. I don’t know, I was just exhausted to start out with. It took over ten minutes to just get into the parking lot, as the lineup for the gas station – selling gas at a ten cent discount – snaked through the entrances and precluded anyone from pulling in. By the time I got into the parking lot, with a trunk full of perishable and frozen items from Superstore, I just felt defeated. Faced with all the carts, I slipped into despair for all of humanity, and I couldn’t pull myself up enough to save a cart. I felt like the weight of the world was on my cart-saving shoulders, and I just couldn’t. I walked past all the many stranded carts (pick me, Nicole, pick me!) and took one from the lineup at the entry.
And I had a Very Poor Shopping Experience. Proof! Cart karma works! There were no berries in the produce section, there was no lemon juice – did anyone else notice the blip in Real Lemon supply? – and the lineups were insane. I also had a very strange run-in with a man while I was in the lineup.
It happened when I had been in line for at least eight minutes, and I was next up at the cashier. I was standing the requisite six feet back, giving the fellow in front of me plenty of room to unload. My phone pinged with a text, and I glanced down to look at it. I could hear the man behind me say, somewhat aggressively, “Move your CAAAART.”
Startled, I turned back to look at him, my eyes wide. He gave me a quick smile and said “You know, like that Ikea commercial! Move the caaaaar!” He laughed, like it was a joke, giving me a hand signal that is the Universal Sign of “Go, go.”
Two things: the Ikea commercial in reference is “Get the caaaaaar!” not “Move the caaaaaar!” and also, the fellow in front of me was still unloading and we are in a point in time where we do not crowd other people or bump their legs with our carts. What a time to be alive. Still startled, I nodded politely, and moved my cart forward less than one inch, in the Universal Sign of “I acknowledge your statement, but I shall not acquiesce to your request in any meaningful way.”
This was when I realized that my Cart Karma was lacking, and I had to do something to change it. I turned around and said, in the sweetest possible voice, “You know what, why don’t you go ahead of me? You have so few things and I have so many.” Let me tell you, the look on this gentleman’s face, this person who had behaved rudely but tried to pretend he hadn’t, was worth the price of admission. It was the picture of shock. I insisted he unload, as I moved my cart backwards. He thanked me several times as he unloaded, thanking me again as he wheeled his cart away. I smiled behind my mask, thinking about heaping coals of kindness on my enemy’s head.
It was worth the extra few minutes; by the time I got back to the parking lot I was in a gloriously good mood, despite my lack of lemon juice, and I made every green light on the way home.
Weekly Reading
Sorrow and Bliss. This was a very intense and moving book about a woman living with a hereditary mental illness; the author note states that this is a fictional mental illness, and it is referred to in the book as ____. I found this book compellingly readable and extraordinarily written, but I’m not going to across-the-board recommend it due to trigger warnings all over the place, notably suicide and pregnancy loss. If you’re okay with these topics though, I think you’ll like it. Ultimately, it’s a hopeful book, although it’s a bit of a roller coaster. It really shows how mental illness affects everyone involved, and I found my emotions were all over the place when I read it.
Heating and Cooling. Sometimes I am just blown away by talent, and this was one of those times. This woman can WRITE. I am always amazed at the depth that someone can write, in very few words. I say this after I wrote 1500 words about shopping carts. This book though. It’s a collection of “micro memoirs,” some of which are only a paragraph or two long, and the author conveys a novel’s worth of thought into each one. Absolutely incredible.
The Last Story of Mina Lee. And with that, my streak of incredible books came to a thudding halt. This wasn’t terrible. But neither was it particularly good. It had so much potential – a first generation Korean woman explores her late mother’s stories and life, discovering secrets and finally coming to understand her. It had potential but ultimately fell flat for me.
Also something that sadly fell flat for me? The Elvis movie. I wanted to LOVE it, and it was interesting enough but way too long and with not enough music or details about Elvis’ life. There was SO much detail about Colonel Parker, who was essentially criminal, and I guess that was the point of the movie. But I wanted more Elvis and Priscilla! I will have to look out my old, falling-apart edition of Elvis and Me, I guess. Have a beautiful week, friends! Save a cart! xo
Ha ha… i almost always save a cart. I didn’t realize it was giving me good cart karma, but it makes sense! Maybe if I save a cart next time, they’ll have our favorite cat food (for a change) and Ezekial bread won’t be $7.99 a loaf. About the man in Costco… people always talk about how liberating it is to be extra nice to rude people- I guess it’s true! I’m going to keep that in mind today.
Heating and Cooling sounds amazing- I’m going to see if they have it at our library.
It is REALLY satisfying! And I’m applauding you for your inadvertent cart karma!
I haven’t heard much good about the Elvis movie. I think I will skip it unless someone in the family really wants to see it.
I was SO disappointed, Steph. I love Elvis music and I think his story is so interesting, but only about 30 minutes total of this movie, I enjoyed. And it was 2 hours and 39 minutes! So that’s a lot of non-enjoyable parts.
Every word of this was delightful. You are a delight and I am going to try to heap coals of kindness upon the heads of my enemies at every chance.
It was SO worth it, Suzanne!
Ha! I enjoy your cart karma theory. I have always just returned carts and have never considered just leaving them in the parking lot where they take up parking spaces and cause potential damage to cars. I think I feel the way you do about carts about dog waste. If I’m walking my dog and I see dog waste that isn’t hers, I generally pick it up. I feel like that gives me some “credit” in the future that will mean I will not step in dog poop or a bird won’t poop on me.
I think I’ll add Heating and Cooling to my library list, too. You sold it well!
I have only once picked up other dog waste, but maybe I should have done that. I guess I don’t see too much but then again, I haven’t been to the dog park in many years (Barks was just too arthritic to be running off leash). I can’t imagine just leaving my cart in a parking space either, but SOME PEOPLE DO!!!
I love your Cart Karma story. I love your husband asking what . . . kind of strawberries you bought for $58. So funny. Coach never looks at receipts. He helped me with groceries for a while when I lost my license (long story). We did my new favorite game called SPLIT THE LIST. He had to get half of the items. When I wrote down shampoo, he came back with one shampoo. For 8 people? Is he single? If he ever looked at a receipt, his mind would be blown.
I also loved heaping coals of kindness on his head. Brilliant.
Heating and Cooling does sound very good. Memoir is what I’m trying to write, so I’m always interested in reading other memoirs. I just finished The Boys: Ron Howard and Clint Howard. It was good and interesting.
I have never played Split The List, but I think I am just way too controlling, when it comes to grocery shopping! Lol!
Cart Karma sounds like something everyone should practice! Love the story about you heaping coals of kindness…
The cover of Heating and Cooling is AMAZING and you say it was a good read; putting it on my list.
I’ve been bothered by the Elvis-Priscilla story because (please look away if you don’t want me to ruin things forever)
because of the age difference and how it kind of sounds like grooming :/
No no, I 100% agree with you – creepy and weird, ESPECIALLY because she was 14. But apparently – and this is even weirder – at that time, and particularly in the South, that was Not Weird. I mean. Ew. But I read Elvis and Me when I was about 12 and that seemed like the most romantic thing ever, and then I reread it as an adult and was like “wait what. WHAT.” So no, it’s bothersome BUT I am kind of fascinated by it too.
Wow–Nicole. I had the exact same reaction–I too thought it was romantic when I was a teen and find it quite horrifying now as a parent and guardian. It was framed as something romantic by the person telling me (in retrospect, clearly problematic).
Oh gosh, Maya, that sounds really awful. I’m so sorry.
I’m sure if they had someone dishing out food samples at the cart corral, they’d get all of the carts back. I am certain that snacks are the solution to world peace.
Xoxo
Oooh! You’re right! Everyone would be lining up to put their carts away!
I have never understood the leaving of the shopping cart; I read the article you linked to and even that wasn’t much of an explanation. Doesn’t everyone KNOW you’re not supposed to just leave them in a parking lot? I once saw the wind blow a stray cart smack into someone’s car door and leave a dent, and I always hope it was the car of a car leaver and not a cart returner. That would be some appropriate karma!
Landslide, the Stevie Nicks version or the Dixie Chicks version??
Just put Heating and Cooling on my list! I feel like we might be book twins so I will heretofore read everything you recommend 🙂
I like both versions very much, so I guess I’ll have to leave it up to my survivors!
A door dent is very appropriate karma!
I always return the cart, at least to the corral if not to the store. In fact, I will often make sure to park near a corral, just to make it easier on myself, and often will take one in from a corral instead of getting it in the store. But some parking lots don’t have enough corrals!
I love your heaps of coal story. I hope he learned his lesson.
Some don’t, that’s true, but Costco definitely does. Another layer of irritation, when people leave their carts randomly and the carrel is RIGHT THERE TEN STEPS AWAY.
I loved Sorrow and Bliss! It was so so so well done. But I know what you mean when you say you can’t give it a blanket recommendation because there is a lot going on in that book and trigger warnings abound.
We are cart anger twins. I take it a step further and get really annoyed when people can’t push their freaking cart further into the carrel. So I am the person who pushes all the cars as far in as they will go/compresses them as much as possible to make room for more carts. I blame my type-A-to-the-max personality! But a stray cart in the middle of the lane? What in the world? I am blissfully unaware of all of the bad cart behavior since my husband does all our grocery shopping now! I know he likes the Aldi quarter cart return and he will make a point to tell me when he finds a quarter. I guess some people return their cart and don’t know you get your quarter back or something? It makes my frugal husband very happy when that happens! He will also tell me when he finds smaller coins like 5 or 10 cent coins… I guess it’s like a treasure hunt to him.
Hahah! That’s very cute. Like, remember getting excited when you’d find a quarter in a pay phone?
You are too funny! And a much better better than me! Because that encounter in line at Costco? That man was being passive agressive — and it makes me feel like if I did what you had done, I’d have been rewarding him for bad behavior! (Okay…deep breaths — I’m doing that now because I’m all worked up just thinking of it and typing that above. LOL) As an aside, my husband is a pushover for our dog. The dog would nudge him while my husband eats and sometimes hard and my husband would be upset and yell, “Dimitri!!” in an angry tone but gives the dog food. I always tell him he’s rewarding the dog for bad behavior. That’s what came to my mind when I thought of letting that guy go in front of me. Maybe he’s a dog, too, and needs to taught manners. LOL
I have seen carts in the middle of the road and I’m really hoping that it rolled away to the road or pushed by a wind gust — because who would leave a cart there??? Maybe I’m giving some people too much benefit of the doubt!!!
Oops..that was supposed to say “better person”, not “better better”. LOL
Argh…I’m re-reading and I’m noticing other typos. I hate that. Like that “needs to BE taught manners”.
Ay-ay-ay
That’s an interesting point and one I didn’t consider. Hmmm. I wonder if he tried that again the next time he was in line and got a different response!
WHO INDEED WOULD LEAVE THEIR CART IN THE ROAD? I think of Estelle Costanza’s voice “What kind of a PERSON DOES that?”
You know my feelings on people who leave carts randomly all over the place in the parking lot; so I definitely agree with you on Cart Karma.
I like the thought of heaping coals of kindness on the rude stranger’s head but, if I’m being honest, most days here lately? I’d be thinking of heaping something else onto his head. Perhaps I need to change my attitude.
Hahaha thanks for the laugh, Gigi!!!
I love this! And I can say that, even as a mother with 2 under 2, and then 3 under 5, and a profoundly autistic child — I’ve always put my cart away when I finished with it. I won’t say that I’ll NEVER get in a super distressing moment and will have to abandon my cart where it is, but it hasn’t happened yet. My hack: I aways park right next to the cart returns. Boom. Problem solved.
And I’m surprised that the guy behind you was so insistent on you moving your cart. It’s not like the line was going to move any faster if you were crowding the person in front of you. I love your solution 🙂
So glad you loved Sorrow and Bliss — I thought it was so well done and I really loved Martha’s family.
PS – I fell behind on reading blogs and just read about Barkley. I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you!
Katie, you give me hope for humanity! If you can do it, anyone can!!! Also, you’re right, park near the corral! It’s a genius move.
I have been on vacation and haven’t been commenting here and have SO MUCH TO SAY. We’ll start here. I’m with you on the Cart Karma. I always take mine back, mostly because it’s the right thing to do but also because I have convinced myself those extra calories I burn walking across the parking lot mean I can eat dessert. Don’t tell me if that’s not true. And this is an absolutely lovely essay! You are a fantastic writer. Finally, I read Elvis & Me when I was babysitting and tore through it one night before the parents came home. Of course, the kids were in bed and the parents, in true 1980s fashion, were out until 1am. (Can you imagine doing that now?)
Thank you, Laura! Walking the cart back absolutely means more dessert – extra steps for all!!! I remember babysitting OVERNIGHT because the parents were too drunk to drive me home! Whoops! I think we should reread that book and see how we feel about it now. I did love it so much back in the day, and I did reread it as an adult, but it’s been MANY years.
Nicole, thank you so much for all my belly laughs this morning. That counts as ab work!
I love your Cart Karma theory and I proudly raise my hands in agreement with you on all points. I always return mine to a safe spot if not to the door itself. (at Costco, that would be a hike) Our Costco parking lot is always a shit show and I try to do my part by saving ONE cart. I pity the men who are bringing in alllll those carts from allllll parts of the parking lot.
Also, I had no idea about your love of Landslide!!
I do love Landslide!
I sometimes see those fellows in the WINTER trying to bring all the carts in and god bless them. What a job!
This is one of the reasons I avoid big stores – I have literally not set foot inside Superstore in over 18 months! Do all Superstores now require money to access the cart? I’ve never heard of such a thing in Canada before. When we were in the US at a Aldi I did not have change and so literally had arms overflowing with products because I couldn’t get a cart without change. It was a bit disconcerting to little Maritime me.
I shop at two local, small stores. One has outdoor shopping corral space (which I ALWAYS use). The other store keeps carts well inside the main door. There is a single door for entry and to return the cart would require walking through the whole store and passing through checkouts. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen patrons return carts at this store. There is a big overhang area where people return carts and then a worker comes out every 5-10 minutes and collects all the carts at once. I will say it is a very awkward place to get carts into (two doors that are automatic but open at weird angles). I have never once felt guilty about leaving the cart outside (because everyone else does it)…but after reading this I DO feel slightly guilty.
Also – this post is flawlessly written, as always. You need to have a regular column.
Oh yes, many stores here require a loonie to get the cart – then you get the loonie back when you return it. I’m surprised you don’t have them! I think it’s brilliant, actually. The two big stores that always have coin return are Walmart and Superstore. That store you describe sounds like it is not well set up in terms of cart returns!
“When I die, may that be many decades in the future, I want my obituary to request that in lieu of flowers or any kind of charitable donation, my final wish is for people to just return their carts to the carrel.” <– This made me giggle.
Where I shop, people are pretty good about returning their shopping carts to the cart carrel. Every now and then, though, I'll see a cart in a parking spot and it's just so annoying. The carrel is not that far away!!
I love that this is something you're so passionate about! 🙂
We all have our passionate causes, and THIS IS THE HILL I’M DYING ON!
I know about your cart thing, but the post is a funny coincidence because I was shopping with my friend who was here from out of town and we were having a similar conversation about the carts you need a coin for – it’s such a small amount and yet leads to virtually every cart being returned. We also had a nice exchange with the employee gathering the carts because we had put ours in the corral nicely lined up with similar ones, as opposed to the people that shove them in willy-nilly (still better than abandoning them).
My freeze dried strawberries this week is the peas in the pod at Farmboy – they’re only out for a few weeks and I buy bags and bags of them because we love them so much. The joys are more fleeting than the strawberries that will last you six months, but still joyful.
OOooooooohhhh peas in the pod! Delicious! It is funny, isn’t it – it’s just a loonie but no one will EVER not get their loonie back!
I cannot believe I haven’t told you my “not-returning-the-cart” story. No screaming kids, but a HUGE thunderstorm and rain shower filled the parking lot after I was done unloading groceries and had taken the cart into the liquor store. I looked at the puddles, I looked at my brand new sandals, and decided abandoning my cart was worth the loonie. Of course, I did NOT leave the cart in middle of parking lot. I think I left it inside the store.
Well, leaving it inside the store WITH the loonie attached is nice karma for the next person who can get that loonie!
Cart karma is so, so true. Around here, for the most part, people are pretty good. I’m not sure if that’s a Midwest thing or if the stores where I shop are just good at keeping tabs on their carts and lots. But totally agree that Costco is the WORST. The Most Egregious Grocery Store Action, to me, is when people shove your stuff up the belt and then aggressively move close behind you, particularly in COVID-times. Kind of like the, um, gentleman (HA!) in Costco. I always try the Look of Death but it’s definitely less effective with a mask on. Sigh.
Oh yes! I hate that too! Give me SPACE!
I always save a cart! Always. And to be honest, what makes me even more mad than the people who leave carts in the parking lot is people who would drive around the cart that was left in the middle of the road… because, it takes all of two minutes to get out of the car and move the cart. So, yes, I definitely believe in cart karma… and how you turned yours around at Costco was GENIUS. 🙂
A fellow cart saver! Just one more thing we have in common!