All Is Well, I Hope
First of all, thank you so much for all your lovely comments about my mysterious, asymptomatic ailment, but a special thanks to Erin (HI ERIN) for sharing her story and reminding us that yes, we should be vigilant on following doctor’s orders when it comes to infections. I hasten to assure you that I did indeed finish my round of antibiotics and have been instructed to go for follow-up lab work, as apparently “lack of symptoms” is not a reliable indicator for being infection-free in my case.
A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall
We have had a lot of rain, and a few really crazy rainy days in the past few weeks, to the point of the declaration of a State Of Local Emergency, which is fairly alarming. Much less alarming, but still of personal concern, is Salvadore’s cleanliness, or lack thereof.
He became very muddy during the downpours. I brought him inside not once, but twice to give him a bath.
As I toweled him off, my older son looked at me with some concern. “Are you okay, Mom? I think you might be having a midlife crisis.” I am having a midlife crisis! And it is entirely manifesting in gnome-related care. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go sing a lullaby to my gnome.
Hurry! Or Your Memories Will Be Lost Forever And It Will Be All Your Fault.
Speaking of midlife crises, the ongoing saga between me and the graduation photography company continues. I am still getting emails about my son’s graduation photos, but they have taken on a whole new ominous level: if I don’t order soon, they will be deleted and lost forever. Deleted! Lost forever! Okay, photography company. That’s a bridge too far. I am almost at the point of unsubscribing but I haven’t got the photos from the grad ceremony yet, and by the time that happens my younger son will be posing for grad photos. I’m caught in a trap, I can’t walk out.
Fly High, Free Moth
If you know me at all, you know I have a mild phobia of moths. What you don’t know is that I have been working very hard to overcome this phobia, and I have had ample opportunity to do it because at least once a day I notice a small fluttering somewhere in the house, often first thing in the morning when I’m on my yoga mat. I try to breathe through it, thinking calmly, the moth is just living its life, just like I am, it is not going to bother me, it’s fine, ommmm. Generally this works but the other day there was a tiny moth on the cupboard where the coffee mugs are kept. I calmly took out my mug, poured some coffee, repeating my mantra, when the moth leapt (leapt?) off the cupboard door and fluttered right in my face. Luckily I didn’t scald myself by dropping the coffee. I congratulated myself on not freaking out and just stepped back away from the fluttering, at which point the moth fluttered down and flew INTO THE TOASTER.
What to do, what to do. I waited for a moment, thinking that surely the moth would fly out the way it flew in but no, no, this did not happen. I thought about what would happen if I just left everything as-is. Would the moth get toasted the next time someone wanted a bagel? Would I be the person to inadvertently eat a toasted moth with toasted bread? But how to get a moth out of a toaster? I turned it upside down and shook it. I took out the crumb tray and still, no moth exited that I could see. I tapped the toaster frantically thinking that maybe the moth would fly out. I sat down and drank a cup of coffee and stared off into space for a while. Eventually I used a flashlight to peek into the toaster and I could not see a moth so I figured it either somehow escaped without me noticing or it immediately died and disintegrated. I cleaned out the crumb tray an extra time to be sure.
It’s Lilac Season, Motherfuckers
The lilac bushes are in bloom all over the city, including, of course, my yard, and it’s absolutely glorious. I love lilacs so much; when I was a kid I wished so hard that we had our own lilac bush, because my long-suffering mother would not let me pull blooms off of neighbouring bushes FOR SOME REASON (HI MOM). Instead I would have to be satisfied with just sticking my face into the blooms on my way to and from school, and I still stick my face into blooms on my walks around the neighbourhood. Barkley stops to sniff, I stop to sniff, our walks are even slower than normal. Every day I walk around the yard to check out the gardens and I spend some time smelling the lilacs.
Other exciting garden news: I have rows of tiny lettuce and carrots, and rows of larger peas; one of my zucchinis has blooms already – IT BEGINS – and on Sunday I harvested some kale and Romaine for a salad. My Siberian iris started with one bloom and then exploded, and the columbines are all budding.
The yard is pretty soggy with all the rain which is making weeding difficult, but I’m in that happy place of having Vigorous Perennials in every bed, which cuts down on the weeds significantly. Consider this your helpful gardening tip of the day: plant perennials that want to take over the world, and the weeds will not stand a chance. I feel like there’s a Life Metaphor in there somewhere.
Weekly Reading
No one asked, but I am going to tell you how I decide what book to read next: in addition to a select few books that I own and haven’t read yet, I have a “For Later” list of 233 books on my library app. Every once in a while I will migrate some books from “For Later” onto my “Hold” list, depending on their availability, trying to time things so that I don’t get 12 non-renewable books all at once, which is what happened to me earlier this month. When this happens, I read the ones that are due first, which has meant that, coincidentally, I have read a LOT of memoirs and non-fiction books lately.
Left on Tenth. I wanted to like this. I did not like this. It sounded like something I would like: two widowed people finding love again in their seventies, but there was so much medical detail about a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment that I just felt exhausted and sad reading it. Also, the writing style was so choppy and disjointed that I found it difficult to focus. It could be that my reaction was because it was Another Cancer Memoir, in a long line of Memoirs, so perhaps take my review with a grain of salt.
Butter Honey Pig Bread. This was an interesting and beautifully-written novel about a woman who is an Ogbanje – a spirit who dies repeatedly in childhood and is reborn – and her twin daughters, who are somewhat estranged after one experiences a childhood trauma. Thanks to Allison (HI ALLISON) for the recommendation.
They Left Us Everything. OH GREAT, ANOTHER MEMOIR ABOUT DEATH, AND BONUS, THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTER ON PUTTING DOWN THE DEAD MOTHER’S ELDERLY DOG. So clearly I was not in the greatest headspace to read this memoir of a woman going through her deceased parents’ home and possessions after their passing. To be fair, I did enjoy parts of it; there were some interesting stories and I liked thinking about the things I inherited from my own grandmas that are important to me and would not be at all important to anyone else – one example would be all the old magazines with Princess Diana that my Grandma Fern kept. Grandma and I watched the Royal Wedding live at 2am back in 1981, and it is one of my best memories. But the rest of the book I found to be sad and upsetting, particularly the stories about her childhood memories of her parents and her parents’ marriage. Those were distressing at best. Still, some thought-provoking parts about the nature of stuff and our attachment to things, and the memories they hold. The author believes that you should NOT go through your stuff before you die but leave everything for your kids to deal with, which I do not agree with. The author lived in this house for 16 months, going through what sounds like hoarder-level possessions, and who among us has the time to do that?
On that note, I will leave you with a teaser for my upcoming Nicole’s Favourite Things, coming this week. In the meantime, take care and keep growing and shining, you crazy diamonds. xo
Oh yes! Having a son graduate from high school will definitely lead to things like bathing gnomes. Your garden is looking amazing! Love all the flowers, and the kale salad. On the subject of They Left Us Everything- having to clear out my parents’ house after they passed cured my hoarding tendencies forever. Now I’m imagining my kids having to sift through all my junk someday, and my feeling is, get rid of it now so they don’t have to do it later.
Jenny, that’s exactly how I feel! I read Swedish Death Cleaning a while back and thought, yes, that’s what I’m going to do.
I understand why you’d hesitate to take antibiotics with no symptoms. They’re definitely necessary sometimes, but they have side effects.
I’m glad your garden is doing well. Ours is kind of struggling– seeds that didn’t germinate and got re-planted on the late side and are smaller than they should be, plants that are failing to thrive for mysterious reasons, plants destroyed by pests. I’m in the “why do we even bother with this” phase of it, but I think this happens every year.
That’s exactly why I hesitated, Steph, I don’t like the stomach upset, etc., that can occur. I’m still feeling fine though.
I haven’t even finished reading the blog but need to post about that moth. I really really hope I’m wrong but these moths – I suspect they are pantry moths. I had not heard of them until Dec when a couple fluttered by and my brother and SIL happened to be over. She had dealt with them before. I have been trying to get rid of them for almost 7 months. We finally caved and had professionals come in and spray 3 weeks ago. We are still seeing them and prob have to have another spray. These creeps come into our house in something like flour or rice. I’m sorry & hope I’m wrong.
Hi Pat, I think I can allay your fears – we get these little guys every year around this time and then they disappear. I think it’s a seasonal thing with Calgary buggy weather!
Oh I’m so glad. I would not wish these horrible pests on anyone. I have pitched everything in my pantry twice, basically store all items in my two fridges & freezers and still have a problem. Glad to hear it’s a Calgary/temporary thing.
Pat – SAME! We had these during covid, because hanging out at home with no where to go while moths flutter around your kitchen isn’t upsetting. Eek. We bought traps on Amazon and they fly in and stick to them. I think they are mostly gone, but so glad Nicole that this is not what you have.
Oh, I miss lilacs! One of the things that I lost by moving out of Massachusetts. i too would stick my face right in.
And hey, if gnome care is the worst of it, that’s a pretty good midlife crisis right there. Harms no one.
Lilacs are so lovely!
I find the lilac blooming in our neighborhood to be very puzzling. Our bush bloomed quite early, maybe a month ago, and has long since lost its blooms. But there’s a house around the block that’s lilacs just bloomed over the weekend. Maybe they are different varieties? I find my lilac knowledge to be lacking.
There are tons of different varieties of lilacs! Different petal shapes, different scents, and different schedules. I went to the Arnold Arboretum in MA in the spring one year and was blown away.
Yes, there are so many varieties – ours are later to bloom than others in the neighbourhood, which seems to just prolong the season in a lovely way.
Aw! Nicole *lurves* Salvadore 😁!!! He did look like he needed a nice bath and I’m glad he got one.
I love lilacs so much–I stick my head into the blooms all the time too. Our lilac season is over, so it’s lovely to relive it through you. I keep some lilac essential oil in the laundry and put a few drops in with the towels for a nice whiff of lilacs at bath time.
And so glad your medical mystery status is still intact and that you’re continuing to feel well!
The scent also reminds me of talcum powder that I used to give my grandmas for Christmas!
I loved every word of this post, Nicole. Every word. But I am now desperate to know your address so I can send you a new mothless toaster my god what an ordeal!!!!! Your garden sounds spectacular and your morning walks with Barkley sound absolutely perfect.
RIGHT??? God, I hope no one has eaten the moth. But who knows! There’s no telling *breathes into a paper bag*
YOUR LILACS! I need to relocate to Canada since your flowers are far more brilliant. I’ve never seen such a gorgeous purple.
I also despise moths. We get them at night around our porch lights, and when you kill them, they actually turn to dust. It reminds me of the scene in It’s a Wonderful Life where Burt the cop attempts to arrest Clarence the angel in the snow and suddenly POOF, he vanishes.
You find the best book titles. You should work as a book title curator. I believe I just created a new career.
Xoxo
There’s a house for sale on my street, DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!
Oooh, I think I could get behind this new career!
Nicole – my best advice on that toaster? Toss it and get a new one immediately!!
Your irises are gorgeous! I love the color! Sadly, my irises are yellow and pink. I could live without the pink because it is *blah* pink. I am a HUGE fan of perennials (since I know I won’t take the time to care for annuals – too high maintenance) although, I would caution about letting them run wild (stares out the window and counts how many multipliers there are out there that need to be thinned desperately – particularly the rose bushes – especially the one that reaches out and grabs anyone coming up the front walk).
And, it goes without saying, of COURSE you are having a mid life crises and self soothing by loving on Salvadore – your oldest baby is about to head out into the world without you there. Sending hugs.
Oh Gigi, don’t forget where I live! It’s not a very welcoming climate, so vigorous perennials in Calgary that fill a garden bed would probably be a total nuisance in your part of the world!
Very valid point!
I love your son’s comment about Salvatore. So funny. I’m pondering what my house would look like if I bathed everything that needed cleaning, and toweled the things off. No joke, as I read your post Finnegan threw up on a toy teddy bear in the corner of the kitchen. *Sigh*
Oh, that moth flying into the toaster. Noooo! The whole ordeal, and how you managed not to scald yourself with coffee is a mystery to me.
Glad that you finished the antibiotic and that you are getting labs checked up as a follow up. It was such a weird thing, and really how fortunate that you just happened to be getting labs done.
Oh no, Finnegan!!!
Omg I got a shoutout!
Have you watched The Leftovers on HBO? There’s a scene where Justin Theroux essentially takes apart a huge toaster searching for a disappeared bagel, worried that he’s going crazy. I truly feel for you re: the moth.
I have not watched that but I feel it in my BONES!
What’s the opposite of a midlife crisis? That, my beautiful internet friend, it what you’re experiencing. Gnomes. Gardens. You’re living your best life and it’s wonderful to behold! Well…minus the toaster-loving moth debacle.
Awww, thanks Elisabeth!
I love your lilac blooms! So much so, I told my husband I want to have one in backyard one of these days. I wonder — they must do ok in San Diego? But can you give us some of your rain?? Pretty please??
I miss having a book I can really get hooked on. My attention span has been lackluster for the past couple of years. I’m very impressed with how many you read each week!
I’d be happy to send some rain your way! We have so much right now! Everything is very lush and green.
Oh, I have had a good week for reading already this week – can’t wait to tell you about it!
I missed most of the lilac season because of covid. My husband brought a bough of lilacs back for me on a walk w/ the boys and I put them up to my nose and could not smell a thing!! Isn’t that insane? Thanks, covid. But my sense of smell returned for the tail end of the season so I got to enjoys some whiffs of lilacs.
That is a bummer about Left on 10th but I appreciate an honest review!
Oh Lisa, that’s so sad! I’m glad your sense of smell is back.
Keep in mind my state of mind might not have been great for Left on Tenth – but it was much more graphic detail about a horrible cancer treatment than I thought it would be.
Okay you made me laugh out loud: “the moth is just living its life, just like I am, it is not going to bother me, it’s fine, ommmm.” I so understand this having had similar thoughts/experiences with stink bugs. They’ve been known to unnerve me. Your lilacs are beautiful. Also I need gnome, I think this every time you post pic of Salvadore.
You DO need a gnome!
Ally, I have been thinking this mantra and it does help. I tried it yesterday when I was weeding in the garden and discovered (“discovered”) an ant hill by way of stepping on it. I was swarmed by ants and as I tried to brush them off I kept thinking “they are living their life, they are doing what they are supposed to, OMG THEY ARE GETTING IN MY SLEEVES AHHHHHH!” It’s a work in progress.
I love the way you love Salvadore. He is a much-loved garden gnome! It makes me want a gnome myself.
Those lilacs are soooo pretty. I’m sure we must have some around here. I love these season because all of the crepe myrtle trees start blooming and they are my FAVORITE. So vibrant and they just make me smile every time I see one.
Oh, I don’t think I know what a crepe myrtle is but I bet they are beautiful!
You DO need a gnome!
I belive we are all due for a midlife crisis and your sons should be happy yours only involves Salvadore.
Laughing hysterically about the moth and the toaster. I’ve never heard of someone having a moth phobia; I always knew you were special.
The lilacs might be the most beautiful things ever! Thanks for the teaser; love the views.
Lolololol thanks Suz, I do feel special! I just read a book called “The Inner Life of Animals” and there was a section on moths, so I feel like the universe is trying to tell me to just be patient with them!
Why are moth such uncoordinated, hectic flyers? They’d be much more pleasant to handle/deal with if they weren’t so “fluttery”. I do hope this guy is not still trapped in your toaster somewhere. LOL
Oh, and those lilacs… beautiful. Now that Salvadore had a bath, maybe he can hang out by the flowers? 🙂
It’s funny you say that about moths; after I wrote this I actually read something about how moths fly, and it has to do with instincts and lighting, which is why they circle lights so much. It was really interesting and made me a bit more patient with them (I hope, I’m trying).
Oh, ergh, I’m sorry you’re dealing with moths. They don’t really freak me out, but they are just…kind of different than other “bugs”? I mean, I’m all good with swatting a fly but there is something about swatting a moth…something with (sometimes really pretty) wings? I suspect this is because I read Girl of the Limberlost about 1,000,000 times in childhood/adolescence. I still have it on my shelf. (The main character collects – and then makes $$$ selling – rare moth specimens…) Anyway, all of that to say that moths are just a bit odd, and I hope your efforts to live in peace with them are working…?
I should share a pic of the mini gnome who lives on my desk clock at some point. Days when I am tired, he’s on his side, snoozing away. Days when I have actual! energy! he’s upright. 🙂 I don’t have a garden or I’d be looking for Salvatore’s brother. Ha!
Oooh I would LOVE to see your gnome!!!