A brief timeline of Covid-related happenings over the past six months, if you will indulge me:
Fall: After “Open for Summer” which had all restrictions dropped, massive Covid outbreaks, ICUs are full, masks once again mandated, and vaccines required to go to restaurants, fitness classes, and entertainment venues.
Mid-December: Gathering restrictions for (largely unvaccinated) children under 18 dropped entirely. Gathering restrictions for adults continue, but there is no differentiation between vaccinated and unvaccinated.
Christmas-New Year’s: The biggest Covid outbreak yet, demand for testing far exceeds supply, PCR tests become impossible to get except for health-care workers and hospital patients, rapid test supply completely runs out and people line up the block, Soviet-bread-line-style, at pharmacies for a chance to get one.
January: The people I know who have Covid exceed the people I know who don’t have Covid. Back to school is delayed, diploma exams cancelled, Fuck Lydia.
Mid-January: School reopens, and medical masks and rapid test kits are distributed to every student, with the understanding that they are all supposed to test themselves twice weekly. Parents are warned that school could go online “at any time.”
February 14: NO MORE MASK MANDATES FOR CHILDREN UNDER 18, INCLUDING IN SCHOOL SETTINGS. This occurred exactly one week after the last delivery of masks and test kits. My kids have reported that “no one” goes without a mask at their school of 2300, including themselves.
March 1: All restrictions dropped completely, it’s a free-for-all.
My friend Janet (HI JANET) asked if I would stop my week counting now that restrictions were dropped, and my response was no. This is not our first rodeo. Let’s see how this plays out, and in the meantime, we are coming up to the two year mark.
My older son is graduating in a few months, and it is also my parents’ 50th anniversary in a couple of weeks, so I had the need for a lot of photo frames, one of which was a kind of odd size. I had run into a photographer friend who assured me that all could be found at Michael’s, which is how I found myself at Michael’s, last Tuesday morning.
Here’s the thing: I deeply admire crafty people. I follow a few very beautiful crafty blogs, which are purely pleasure and contain nothing that I would be able to do. I have incredibly crafty friends who paint and cross-stitch and knit and crochet and even spin their own wool. My mother-in-law knits everything from dolls to slippers, often making up her own patterns. My mother crochets and sews; she made clothes for us when we were kids, as well as our Halloween costumes and my kids’ Halloween costumes, even when my older son decided he wanted to be an eagle one year, and a pattern for an eagle could not be found.
I, on the other hand, once ripped a gaping hole in my pants when I tried to sew a button on; I almost failed the sewing portion of junior high Home Ec, where I spent three years ripping seams out until my projects were filled with holes.
What I’m saying is that I feel very out of place in Michael’s. As soon as I step through their doors I feel immediately overwhelmed, and the chorus from Creep starts to go through my head. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here. As I stood near a display of Easter items – could I make my own wreath? No. – women dashed around me, grabbing fake flowers and pastel coloured eggs. I felt like an alien who had just been dropped onto the planet and was unsure of the customs or language of the people around me. Where. Are. Frames.
My legs eventually became ambulatory again, and I did find the frames, albeit not before getting distracted by a huge display of baking supplies. Ooooh, there are so many sprinkles. I got what I needed and then, because Costco was next door, I decided to just stop in there rather than rush over post-Superstore on grocery day, which is Wednesday.
And now I will say that I have been in a bubble for many months, as my routine is this: go to Superstore for opening at 8:00, after that head to Costco for opening at 9:00. It’s rushed but civilized, and it’s exhausting but fine.
Costco at 9:00 is very, very different from Costco at 11:13.
It was pandemonium! Pandemonium! There were people everywhere, including one woman who was clearly in a rush, as she kept sweeping past all of us patiently making our way down the aisles, bumping our carts aggressively and sighing as though the state of the union was dependent on her getting out of Costco quickly with her giant detergent and frozen fries. Plus, since the mask mandate was lifted, at least a third of the customers and staff were maskless, and I am just not used to seeing that many faces. Sample tables were open and there were people jammed around them, trying to get a piece of ham or a pickle. My usual quiet, gentle Costco experience was no longer. As I wheeled my cart towards the parking lot, silently admiring the fellow behind me whose cart held nothing whatever except two jugs of milk, the song in my head abruptly switched away from Creep.
That’s me in the aisle, that’s me in the parking lot, losing my religion.
I have not said anything for many months about people not returning their carts, probably because I have been there right at store opening, which is too early in the day to give people a chance to prove that they are terrible. But my god! People are terrible. As Gigi said (HI GIGI), people are VILE and have no conscience. I mean, look. The cart carrel is RIGHT THERE. It is TWO parking spots away. WHY.
Seriously, WHY. I know there are people out there who say ridiculous things like people are hired to collect the carts and those people need jobs, and to the people who say that I say, fuck you. I mean, people are also hired to clean public washrooms but we are not peeing all over the floor and throwing our toilet paper and paper towels everywhere just so those people can have job security. The people are hired to collect the carts FROM THE GODDAMN CARRELS AND LEAVING CARTS HERE THERE AND EVERYWHERE IS NOT HELPING THEM DO THEIR JOBS OR SOMEHOW INCREASING THEIR JOB SECURITY. IT IS JUST BEING A LAZY ASSHOLE.
Well. I am going back to my first-thing-in-the-morning bubble, because as we all know, we cannot control what other people do, we can only control our reactions, and as such, I will just go into my own personal rage corner, this blog. Also, when I see this kind of mayhem like I did this week, I rescue one of those poor abandoned carts that just want to go to their HOME, the carrel, to take into the store for my own use. Small steps lead to marathons, and small gestures can change the world. Even in the Costco parking lot.
Why doesn’t Costco retrofit their carts so that a coin is needed for their use? It would certainly solve the problem. Why am I not in charge of these things?
Pandemic Reading
Life and Other Near-Death Experiences. This was a light book about a heavy topic: cancer. I had recently read the sequel to this book, without knowing it was a sequel. Whoops! It would have made more sense to read it in the correct order. I liked this book fine, I didn’t love it, but it was fine.
My Monticello. I am mixed on this book, which is made up of short stories and a novella. I loved the short stories and thought they were so smart and moving. The novella was a great concept, but it just dragged for me; I could NOT get into it. I would say all in all that this was a very original and interesting book – lots of fascinating facts about Thomas Jefferson and his Black descendants – but the novella was a bit too dystopian for my personal taste.
This book is bananas. BANANAS. It is dark and juicy and hilarious and horrifying and terribly sad, all at the same time. The details are so good! Some are hilarious – “(the waitress) tells us the specials in such a way that we know put some responsibility as patrons in her section us to just go right ahead and fuck ourselves” – and some details made my eyes get wider and wider and my eyebrows started to disappear into my hairline. Whoa Nelly. Like, it’s CRAZY. Every single situation is crazy. That said, it was really good! I was compelled to keep reading even when I was supposed to be doing other things. I am looking forward to more from this author. What a debut!
Happy March, everyone! Next week is our two-year Pande-versary, who would have thought? Take care of yourselves. xo
Ah, the two year pande-versary! How exciting. When you look at the timeline you’ve laid out, it’s incredible how ultra-confusing it’s been. I think after what happened last summer- when we though it was over- people are being cautious now. But, it really could be ending… time will tell.
So your son is graduating? He’s a year younger than my son. What is he planning to do next year?
I see Camille Pagan has another book with my favorite character, ha ha! I hope I didn’t offend you- that book just didn’t gel with me. A couple people left comments that they like Pagan, so I’m probably in the minority.
No offense taken! We all like different things and different authors, that’s what makes the world fun!
Oh, I love a Michael’s or other craft store. I just wander around, wondering what I’m doing with my life that I don’t understand what I should be doing with all that puzzling stuff. Other people know what to do with those little tiny dowels and epoxy and endless numbers of beads and stickers, but I always just end up over by the fabric and dreaming of all the sewing projects I’ll never make. Ha!
I have never been to our Costco when it’s been chill. It’s always super crowded, lines back to the merchandise, and a large percentage of unmasked people. I find Costco a conundrum because on one hand there are some good deals, but on the other hand, the stress is intense.
Costco is a must for me, with the amount of food I go through in a week, but it’s usually pretty intense.
I would LOVE to be a person who makes things and buys things at Michael’s, but alas.
“All restrictions dropped completely, it’s a free-for-all.” So true. We went to Lowe’s on Saturday morning and it was chaotic. We wore masks, the employees wore masks, but everyone else was racing around maskless. I felt uncomfortable and thrown off balance [not literally].
I haven’t been to Costco recently, but need to go this week and am expecting what you described. I used to be crafty, but eventually realized I was not good at it. However I always went to Micheal’s for supplies. [If we’re talking about the same Janet, I know she’d approve.]
I don’t think it’s the same Janet (she’s my IRL girl!) but good luck at Costco. I felt completely unbalanced as well, that’s a good word for it, seeing all those maskless faces.
We are kindred. You are the Canadian Kari. I am so jealous that I live so close to Banff. 😉
When I walk inside Michael’s, my ancestors are mentally mocking me because they could sew, crochet, and knit, but I can barely glue and cut a straight line. I feel your pain. By the way, I followed your links and discovered that your friends’ blogs are absolutely magical.
Our mask mandate was lifted in the last week of February, and it feels strange. When I don’t wear a mask, I feel like I’m betraying the retail employees. So I’ve started wearing one under my chin and pulling it up depending on how I’m feeling. It’s like to dipping my toe into the Covid pool. Sigh, this is our lot in life. I’m sending you a big hug.
I feel that way too, like I want to be respectful to all those who work in retail and customer service. They’ve had a long haul.
Ha! I love that we have ancestors who are sighing at our incompetence. Like that photo of the grandma with the air fryer, that’s our grandmas, but looking at us trying to put a button on pants.
Our BoE is voting tomorrow on whether to drop the mask mandate in our county’s schools. Everyone expects they will. Noah’s college did last week.
I’m kind of afraid of Michael’s. It’s just so big and so puzzling…
It IS so big and puzzling! It’s overwhelming!
I enjoy your cart rants so much, and this one was especially vigorous and amusing.
In my area, I HAD BEEN saying things like “Oh, people are acting like the pandemic is over”—but now they are TRULY acting as if it is over. Like, no masks required on school buses for the first time all year. No masks required for store employees. I feel as if this pandemic has shown us that humans are dumb and selfish enough that there is literally no chance of us saving our own planet. We will go down gasping in the toxic air, still saying there is no need to do anything INCONVENIENT.
The no-mask thing is particularly irritating because it’s SUCH A SIMPLE SOLUTION WHY DO PEOPLE RESIST IT SO MUCH.
Next week masks will be optional in our schools… even though we are still getting regular notices of cases, and “your child has had a direct exposure to COVID, and must be tested before returning to school” messages. I want it to be over, but it is not over… why do we have to disrupt the things that are working? *sigh* Also, I need to go to Costco, and I guess I will be aiming for getting in on the early side!
If it helps, my kids say that very few go without masks at their school, and it’s been optional for almost a month. I think kids are smarter than adults. We all want it to be over but we can’t always get what we want 🙂
It’s funny to me how at Aldi, where you have to deposit 25 cents to use a cart, people always bring it back. 25 cents, that’s all it takes! They just spent $200 on groceries but gosh darn it they got to have that quarter back.
I do frequent Michaels, but it has been so sad recently. I think the tide of useless junk from China has been stalled, and they literally had Christmas decorations out last week. Unless this is the start of the earliest Christmas season ever (I wouldn’t put it past them), they are just putting out everything in the storeroom to try to fill the shelves. Good thing you found your frames!
Our mask mandate was dropped 2 weeks ago, but I’d say 95% of people still wear masks in stores. We’ve also had one of the lowest case rates in the entire country (despite being a county of a million people), but yet somehow there are still people who haven’t made the connection. Schools will likely be dropping their mask mandates soon, but I also think most kids will wear them. I think that the governments just decided the pandemic was over, right?
The kids are still wearing their masks at a school of 2300 – according to my kids, very few go without masks. Kids are smarter than adults.
And yes! A deposit of 25 cents, and no one will ever abandon their carts in the parking lots!
I didn’t even think about the supply chain for Michael’s, I hardly absorbed anything that I saw there 🙂 Frames! I got frames!
Living in Florida, land of the snowbirds and retirees, THE time to go to Costco is about 4 in the afternoon on a weekday. An employee told my mother years ago that that’s when to go: before the working people come in after work, but when the snowbirds “have all gone to the club for a drink before dinner.” I work, so this is not a convenient time for me, and going on a weekend it is completely insane. But I had a day off recently and my mother and I happened to be there around that time and it was SO peaceful, I was shocked. He knew what he was talking about.
Oh! That’s smart! That makes so much sense.
Coscto (and Michaels for different reasons) STRESSES me out.
And who doesn’t return carts? People do this??!
And samples are back at Costco so soon?
We’re all still masked in Nova Scotia (March 21st is the current date for that to be lifted, but I’m not sure if that will happen as we’ve been extra cautious down this way with mask mandates).
I cannot sew. It is truly horrific what things look like when I attempt to sew on a button.
Same here, I just have given up trying. My husband sews buttons on clothes when necessary, I am a disaster.
Samples are back and it’s CRAZY.
Oh my god. People and their carts. It would also drive me insane. love “my own personal rage corner”!
We will never understand how the powers that be determine the Covid restrictions. My personal little rage is that people can go to concerts, restaurants and yes crowd up the aisles in Covid, but my son is not allowed to attend his partner’s ultrasounds (3 vs 2 people in a room!). So many of these inane rules just make you shake your head.
Oh Pat, that makes my blood boil. That is just ridiculous and I’m sorry – but also, congratulations! I don’t think I knew that your son and his partner were expecting!
Hi Nicole!
And fuck Lydia – I am exhausted. Every one here seems to think COVID just *magically* disappeared. It hasn’t. We’ve been burned SO many times now – how can people be so “it’s OVER!” It boggles my mind. I’ve got my eye on what may happen here in the next couple of weeks. I hope I’m wrong but if I’m not – we’ve already let the genie out of the bottle and there will be no way of getting it back in.
And I still contend that some people are vile, have no conscience and are selfish to boot.
Oh Michael’s! I haven’t been there in nearly three years. I do miss it – but I’m not really crafty. I just liked wandering around and thinking about the possibilities…that someone else could pull off.
At my class yesterday, one lady said something about Covid being over, and another said sharply “Covid isn’t over!” and I had to quickly smooth things over lest a fight erupt in my yoga class!
Yes, that Covid timeline makes COMPLETE SENSE. Not. (My daughter recently learned about that 80s/90s holdover and is adding “NOT!” to the most random of sentences.)
Your Michael’s description is so apt. SO APT. All those people (women), purposefully Making Things, probably in a way that is pleasing and/or useful! What a way to be! The baking section is my favorite (possibly because I am a passable, if not good, baker). I definitely make a point to visit the sprinkles section whenever I go to Michael’s.
THERE ARE SO MANY SPRINKLES. And so many “meltables” and so many of everything neat. I bought cute candles for my son’s upcoming birthday but was otherwise restrained.
“and to the people who say that I say, fuck you”.- this made me laugh loudly. I do enjoy your cart rants. Costco on a weekend – is there anything worse? I used to try to go to Costco near Irish dancing when the kids danced on the north side of the city. I had hours to kill because it made no sense to drive all the way home. This was before covid, but the number of people, even in healthy times, was overwhelming.
I could get lost in Michaels. Oh, the possibilities. Not that I know what to do with most of those supplies, but it is fun to stare at it all. I used to be crafty and I did so enjoy the years of making Halloween costumes, but I have little time now for craftiness.
You’re so crafty, Ernie! I remember seeing photos of your kids’ Halloween costumes – incredible! Lucky for me I had my mom to make costumes for my kids, because if it was up to me, it wouldn’t be great!
Two things learned while reading this post: (1) I love your music references and blog titles! (2) I did not expect you to say “fuck you” even in your head, you yogi you 😀 :D.
Two things learned while reading this post: (1) I love your music references and blog titles! (2) I did not expect you to say “fuck you” even in your head, you yogi you 😀 😀 .
Hahaha, it does happen sometimes!!
Loved your cart rant and I’m right there with you!
The timeline is crazy when you look back. We’ve been through it, haven’t we? Although, I have to say that way down here, it’s been easier on us. Must be the sunshine or something.
Hardly any restrictions right now.
In my head now and probably for the rest of the day: THAT’S ME IN THE CORNER, THAT’S ME IN THE SPOT–LIGHT….
Thanks Nicole!
You are WELCOME for the earworm! Come for the cart rant, stay for the music.
I am just sitting on the couch trying to mentally prepare myself to unpack my Superstore Haul. It’s exhausting. Most people were masked, but at my kids school hardly any kids or teachers are masking. I don’t understand. I am forced to go to Michaels a fair bit because my one daughter enjoys crafts. I DO NOT. I’m the worst at it. Also I find the Michaels near my house is rather grimy and always low on stock. I would just… rather be reading through all of it. 😊
I have started listening to podcasts while unpacking the groceries, because THAT IS THE HARDEST PART!
Nicole, I love reading your blog so much but OH THE EARWORMS YOU GIVE ME. I’ve had “Losing My Religion” going round and round in my head all morning long.
I have a post going up next week about Covid since Wednesday marks officially two years since we were sent home from work to “work remotely for a week.” ahahaha. What a wild ride. It’s weird living in Florida during this pandemic because we never had an official statewide mask mandate and reopened movie theaters/restaurants/hair salons/bowling alleys/etc in MAY OF 2020. It was crazy and stupid.
I love strolling through Michael’s. It makes me imagine all the things I could do if I was crafty. So many things to look at!
Stephany–I was in FL last week, and it was like no one had even heard of the pandemic! You could tell the tourists by their masks 😀
Haha sorry Stephany, welcome to my life, it’s one constant earworm!!
Oh I am laughing so hard to hear about how Costco is so different at 11 am! Those carts 😖. I must admit I thought you visited michaels for baking stuff!
The abandoned carts in the parking lot are a major pet peeve of mine. It’s not that hard to take it back to their designated place. Why are people so terribly lazy?
I haven’t been to Costco in a while and I am hesitant to go back now that pretty much all mandates have been dropped here, too. I will say that I still see lots of people with masks when I am the store. I am glad about that.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO LAZY INDEED!!!