I am obsessed with the song i by Kendrick Lamar. Do you know it? When he heard me playing it and singing along, my son told me that i is on The Greatest Hip Hop Album Of All Time, which I didn’t know, but which made me feel like this:
Or maybe this:
I would probably feel more hip if I didn’t hear the song on a Peloton ride, which, like all middle-aged suburban ladies who have joined the Peloton cult, is how I am exposed to all new music. Case in point: watching the Superbowl 2021 halftime show, I exclaimed “I know this song, I heard it on Peloton!” It was, of course, The Weeknd, which was top of the charts for much of 2020. This is what happens when you keep the radio tuned to 70s on 7, you miss out on the trends.
Note: the Superbowl 2022 halftime show was the best halftime show in the history of halftime shows, and I will DIE ON THIS HILL.
In any case, i is a great song, and I love myself goes through my head over and over on a regular basis.
It’s pithy but true: if we don’t show love to ourselves, how can we show up to the people around us or the world at large? We can’t.
Back in August 2020, I read the book Your Body Your Best Friend, and I am not exaggerating when I say that it was absolutely life-changing. I had picked it up on a whim at the library, and ended up buying a copy for myself, so I could reference it whenever I wanted.
I strongly believe that we need to be our own best friend, our own best cheerleader, and our own best supporter. We can’t show up as our best selves without loving ourselves, just as we are. One way to accomplish this is to do little things for ourselves, every day. We need to choose ourselves, and to choose things that make us happy and contented, and on that note:
Nicole’s Favourite Things: The I Choo-Choo-Choose Me Edition
Lube Up, Baby
I love the body lotions from Bath and Body Works, and a couple of times a year I go for the buy 3, get 3 deal. Every morning, right before my shower, I choose the scent I want for that day and set it out. It’s a pleasant tiny ritual that makes me happy every time. What a fun thing to choose every day! Warm Vanilla Sugar for a cozy day at home, Japanese Cherry Blossom for teaching, Saltwater Breeze for groceries?
It’s risky, but I have been choosing new scents in the store without being able to actually smell them, because of mask-wearing. One such new scent was the Fresh Cut Lilacs, and the first time I wore it, I smiled every time I caught a whiff of it, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. After a day of wearing it, I realized that it smells exactly like a Yardley body powder that I used to give my grandma for Christmas. Remember those? I am not saying that you want to smell like your own grandma, but I’m kind of saying you might want to smell like your own grandma. It’s very pleasing and happy-making.
Day By Day
This is my bedside table, and on it, among all the various items from my children and a clock radio dating from the early 90s, is a page-a-day calendar. I hadn’t had one since I worked in an office – probably it was a Far Side one – but I saw this while Christmas shopping and was immediately charmed. It’s put out by the New Yorker and every day has a short love story. I bought it thinking it was romantic love, and there is certainly that, but it’s much more: familial, friendship, unrequited. There are a lot more stories about breakups and death than you might think, but they are all very charming. I mean:
Another recent one was about noticing a person with the same groceries in her cart as the author, and wow, that resonated with me and my little life.
Line By Line
I am NOT a journal-keeper; I feel like this blog is journal enough. However, you may be surprised to know that I don’t share everything here. I know! Didn’t I just talk about my chin hair and my average tampon usage? Is nothing sacred? But it’s true, some things are private, even if I don’t mind talking endlessly about my moustache’s sudden youthful resurgence and what kind of bras I wear.
I don’t like the thought of writing in a traditional journal, but I decided to buy a five year, line-a-day journal and I love it. It’s so easy to summarize the day in one little line, and I don’t need to go into my feelings in depth or anything.
It’s kind of perfect for these times when I can’t remember when something happened. My great-grandma kept a journal that was literally just weather, what she had planted in her garden, and something small about her day; it sounds like not much, but I really like looking at it, and I want to have a similar record for my own use. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a great-granddaughter who will read it and think wow, boring, and yet scintillating.
Accessorize!
Back when I was 14 or 15, a guy said to me that I “wore more jewelry than Mr. T,” which was an exaggeration, but only a slight one.
I mean, he wasn’t wrong. I do love jewelry, it’s true; I enjoy the little ritual of choosing my jewelry each day when I get dressed. Some things are default; I always wear my rings, watch, and Pandora bracelets, but I like to choose different necklaces based on what I’m wearing, plus left-wrist bracelets and earrings.
A funny story about earrings: I generally wear little silver sleeper hoops, and I don’t take them out. Back before Christmas, I was over visiting with my sister-in-law, and I realized that one of them had fallen out. I couldn’t find it and honestly, I was a bit devastated. I have quite a few other pairs of silver hoop earrings, gifted to me over the years by my parents, and so I wasn’t devastated for long. I just got into the habit of choosing earrings each day, and it was pretty fun.
Then, just this past week, I was putting clothes in the dryer and lo, there was my earring! The thing is, I lost the earring before I got the new dryer. How did it get there? Was it in a sweater I hadn’t washed until now? That seems suspect, but I guess it could have happened. Anyway, the positive thing is I have my favourite pair of earrings. The negative thing is now I’m just…wearing them all the time and not choosing new ones daily. Wow, life is hard.
Put On A Happy Outfit
I already wrote about clothes this week, and how much I love getting dressed every day, but what I didn’t write about was how I also love putting on my workout clothes. Sure, I could wear just anything to work out in, but why? Why not something cute and fun? I set out my workout clothes every night before I go to bed, and it’s always fun choosing a cute tee to go with my tank and leggings.
This last one cracks me up; it was in my Christmas stocking this year, and I texted a photo of it to my similarly Austen-loving sister-in-law (HI JO). Whenever something crappy happens, our shorthand now is “Fuck Lydia.” When the diploma exams were cancelled, I got a text from her saying only “Fuck Lydia,” which I think sums up things nicely. You should try it! It’s surprisingly wide-reaching.
Slight digression, I was chatting with my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) about this shirt, which led to a conversation about Which Austen Character Are You? We all want to be Elizabeth, but like Marie says in When Harry Met Sally, “Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humour, but they can’t ALL have good taste.” Everyone wants to be Elizabeth Bennett, or Jo March, but not everyone can be Elizabeth Bennett or Jo March. (I’m an Amy, honestly). I admitted to Nicole that I think I’m actually Charlotte Lucas, not because my husband is a Mr. Collins – NO, he emphatically is not – but because I am a very practical person and I make life decisions for practical, rather than emotional, reasons. She admitted that she’s a Mary, and every time I think of that, I laugh. Literally, no one else in the world would admit to being a) Charlotte Lucas, and b) Mary Bennett. What a pair of Nicoles we are! Maybe we are just really self-aware. I don’t want to think of any alternative explanation.
These are all my favourite daily things this month, things I choo-choo-choose every day. What do you do to choo-choo-choose yourself? I hope it’s something lovely. xo
I am in the position of choosing lotion this week because I ran out and Beth has four or five kinds. I asked if there was any kind she wanted me to refrain from using and she said go crazy, so maybe I will try them all.
I also choose the destination of my morning walk, which I like to vary. Today I am thinking of taking a bus to the vision center to get new glasses and taking a walk in that neighborhood.
You know, I should really do that. I tend to go in the same loops, like a dog. Maybe I’ll go somewhere new today!
Glad you found the sleeper hoop! Maybe I’ll have to try a set out and see if I can convert my obsessive removal of earrings before naps…showers…bedtime…sometimes even exercising.
I love your description of the morning ritual of selecting a scent for the day. I know some people that do this with tea each morning. The closest I get to this is…you guessed it…picking out my earrings for the day.
I remember my grandmother’s “scent” and I think she also had Yardley (this makes me think of the quote – that my husband says CONSTANTLY because he loves quoting movies – from Anchorman where Champ tells Ron: “I miss your scent; I miss your musk.” We always do this in an drawling accent).
Hahaha that is a GREAT part of the movie!
I can really see you choosing your earrings every day, what a nice little ritual.
Yes, best halftime show ever. I have used one scent from Bath and Body Works – it’s wild honeysuckle and it’s just ME 🙂 If they ever discontinue it, I don’t know what I’d do. For now I buy in bulk 🙂
Oh! I have seen that one! I will have to check it out next time I’m there for my buy 3-get 3 shopping. I get that – I stock up on things too. I was devastated when they discontinued their Oahu Coconut scent!
I love that ‘cool mom’ scene from Mean Girls. Hilarious. I enjoyed the half time show too. It was awesome.
I’m suddenly aware that I do not do enough little treats for myself. As I’ve mentioned, I do not accessorize. I never even got my ears pierced. I’m too squeamish. I enjoy picking out my morning workout. Since the pandemic, I’ve selected from the recorded FB videos my favorite instructor posts. I also enjoy playing music on Alexa. Lately I’ve requested the Cure radio. A great selection of music. That has replaced Neil Diamond radio. I do enjoy planning outfits that fit what I’m doing: comfy clothes that wash easily for babysitting and something more presentable on my other days. Oh, I also love reading in bed. Coach never liked when I turned a light on but I use a book light now and do my best to shielding him from my tiny light.
My mom always used Oil of Olay lotion. I never cared for the smell. Guess what? I use it now too. I think they toned down the fragrance though because I do not think I smell like my mom did back in the day.
Laughing at that last t-shirt, and the text messages it inspired. So happy that your earring showed up. This was a great post.
You do need to treat yourself, Ernie! Absolutely! You are such a busy woman and do so much for everyone around you.
I think they DID change the scent of Oil of Olay! I have a really nice Oly body wash I use that I buy in a giant three-pack from Costco and it doesn’t remind me of my youth or anything.
Let’s see. I had never heard that Kendrick Lamar song before, so I turned it on while reading your post and it is QUITE catchy. Then your “I strongly believe” paragraph made my eyes well because I have been trying, but I cannot get there, and am in fact stuck somewhere on the far end of the spectrum. But I HEAR you, and want to ascribe to The Wisdom of Nicole. THEN, your first subhead under the Simpsons’ gif gave me a little start, and I raised my eyebrows and though, Okay, we’re talking about this! And then I scrolled down and it was something totally different, my mind is perpetually in the gutter. Also, Warm Vanilla Sugar is my ride or die lotion. I LOVE the smell of lilacs, so I need to go seek out the lilac scent. I also love the necklace story, and all the life lessons it can teach us. We can move on from loss! We can find new joy in things we have forgotten/laid aside! We can be surprised, and things can come back to us! We can be content with what we have! And on that note, I am going to go find a cute necklace to wear to my meeting this afternoon.
Between “Double up the D (Vitamin D)” and “Lube Up (with body lotion)” I am covering all my bases here!
WARM VANILLA SUGAR IS SO GOOD! I feel so happy that you love it too. I think you’ll like that lilac one, it is exactly like lilacs and like Yardley body powder.
Life lessons from Nicole’s jewelry drawer! xoxo
This post is delicious, and I choo choo choose to savor it a while longer!
Years ago I took a quiz and was declared an “Eleanor,” and I didn’t object.
We never see those quizzes anymore, and I think they were kind of fun! An Eleanor! I love it.
I really loved that last anecdote about the shirt. Also I’d like to know what lipstick you’re wearing in the earrings photo because it’s lovely. Please and thank you.
Hi Erin! Thank you! It’s Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in “Fig” – it’s a really nice mix between a lip balm and a lip gloss, if that makes sense. It also has a peppermint scent to it, which I love.
I have that same journal! I’ve been using it for years and love it so much that I have THREE in my night stand. So my great grandchildren can say, “OH MY GOD WE GET IT, YOU WERE BORING.” 😉
I was cleaning out my oldest daughter’s desk last week and discovered 10 old BBW lotions in there. I was like, so THAT’S where they went. 🙂
I love your tee shirts. 🙂
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! This last week has been pretty quiet, so my journal lines are even more boring than usual. “I started a Dogs Playing Poker puzzle. It snowed.”
Nicole – you are making me feel like a total slacker. In addition to the boring outfits I’ve adopted during the pandemic – I have also pretty much ditched wearing any jewelry! *Note to self – pull it together woman!*
We are alike in one area though – when I DO wear jewelry; nine times out of ten it’s silver hoops, a silver Celtic knot bracelet, my rings and some kind of necklace. I DO love a statement necklace.
I don’t care for scented lotion too much – but I do adore a vanilla scent (via perfume, candle, baking, whatever).
And this? “I strongly believe that we need to be our own best friend, our own best cheerleader, and our own best supporter. We can’t show up as our best selves without loving ourselves, just as we are. One way to accomplish this is to do little things for ourselves, every day. We need to choose ourselves, and to choose things that make us happy and contented..” My new mantra, as I plan to channel my inner-Nicole starting tomorrow.
It’s the little things that make life happier, I think! I bet you have some gorgeous jewelry – we are jewelry twins!
I watched the Super Bowl halftime show and thought the pacing and sets were good. I didn’t know who the performers [singers?] were nor did I recognize any of their hits. I wish there had been some little words on the screen telling me who these people were as they rapped [sang?]. If the point of it was to introduce me to a different genre of music, it was a fail. If the point was to keep me staring at a TV screen, it was a success.
First, I’ve not heard that song because I’m not in touch or do I have a peloton. I love it!
I always knew you were a cool mom.
I really like your idea of choosing a different lotion scent for each day and I might incorporate that in my routine, well not during the hot summer as it might draw more attention to me from the bugs outside.
I love all your t-shirts especially the last one! You are a hoot.
I have so much jewelry but find that the past few years I hardly wear it. Even my wedding rings are collecting dust. I might be getting lazy.
There are so many great messages in this post. It took me many years to love & value myself. First I had to forgive myself for all my bad decisions in life. Then you realize that you are the only one who will make you a priority. And now I do a great job of it! I LOVE earrings & buy them everywhere I travel. When I put them on I think- oh yes, Prague or some other amazing trip I’ve been on. I also value high quality, clean skin care and vitamins and honestly am occasionally shocked by how much I spend on that. But heck I’ve worked hard to get here and dammit I’m worth it!
Oh and one more thing- that clock radio. I had one from the early 90’s; I was comfortable – it was easy to set and reliable. It started just randomly turning in (like in the middle of the night). I had to replace it and of course the new one is all electronic. Well I hate that thing…so take good care of your antique!
I needed the smiles today, Nicole–so glad for your post with its gems and chuckles and MUSIC!! I love your lotion ritual and plan to start taking your lead on this. Have you always had a certain style aesthetic or did you grow into yours? I feel like I’m finally beginning to find what I like fashion-wise instead of following trends.
Also: Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies, so you really had me hooked. (Fun Fact: I threw a Mean Girls Party for my students and the menu card I saved from that seems pretty hilarious to me–but then I do mom jokes… https://www.pocobrat.net/2020/10/making-mean-ing.html)
That book sounds right up my alley! I love how much of an impact it has had on your life.
I do not have enough funny t-shirts in my collection. Mostly I wear lots of bookish tees.
I’ve just gotten on the accessories train in the past few years, although I still rarely wear jewelry because I work from home and unless I’m going to be on camera, I don’t worry about what I look like. But it’s fun to pick out earrings and a necklace on the days I do have to look presentable!
I’m using a one-line-a-day journal this year, too, and I can’t wait to look back over the next few years to see what I wrote and the emotions I was feeling on specific days.
I love that your bedside table is full of stuff like mine. I never quite trust people who can maintain a bedside table with, like, a single bud in a white vase. The line-a-day journal is brilliant – thinking about keeping a regular journal makes my hand AND my head hurt.
Awww! I love my bedside table, it makes me happy. I can’t handle more than one line a day. It’s too overwhelming!
Very self-aware 😎
I’ve been thinking about getting a line a day journal but just haven’t done it- maybe this post will be the final thing that tips me over the edge! I also don’t feel like I have time for a regular journal, but one line a day is doable.
Well let’s see. Pride and Prejudice is one of my very favorite books (I’m sure I’m not alone here.) I have to laugh because of course I want to be Elizabeth. Ha, Charlotte Lucas- but I can see that. She’s no dummy. I’m not Mary and definitely not Jane… guess I’ll just have to be Elizabeth!
I like the one line book because honestly, I just wouldn’t do more than that!
Wow, you have quite the lotion collection. Bath & Bodyworks is not a store I usually venture into, but I have been gifted a lotion from there before. I keep it pretty simple when it comes to lotions LOL
I do enjoy a good witty workout shirt and yours are so cute.