This will be obvious for anyone who knows me or has read this blog for any amount of time, but I really love clothes and fashion. When I was a kid, I loved paper dolls so much; I loved all the different outfits slated for different activities, I loved dressing up their flat little bodies, folding the tabs over their shoulders carefully as I took my paper dolls to a fancy gala or the tennis courts.
Fun fact: I had not one but TWO Princess Diana paper doll books, one for cutting out and one for saving, and I still have them. As I recall, it was a bitch cutting out the wedding dress, all those tiny little frills.
Anyway, I love clothes but I do not consider myself to be a trendy person; when I was younger I would incorporate trends into my outfits but one of the great things about being middle-aged is that a) I don’t really care about trends anymore, I just want to wear what flatters my own 46-year-old body, and b) current trends are not aimed at me anyway.
Back in 2012, I railed against the movement from dark-wash boot-cut jeans to skinny jeans, but I eventually capitulated to the trend and I never went back. I love the esthetic of skinny jeans with a long, drapey sweater and tall boots. It is perfect for my perimenopausal body, perfect for living in a climate in which tall boots and long sweaters are appropriate at least nine months out of the year, and I cannot see trading in my skinnies anytime soon. The great news is no one expects me to because hey, you completely disappear to the public eye when you turn forty! Yay for the invisibility of aging women! No one cares what we wear because we might as well not exist after our fertility declines!
Just kidding.
Anyway, I don’t follow the trends but I do like to know what’s in style, because I am a style anthropologist – “This is so 1992!” – and so I have not YET unsubscribed from a certain Young People’s Clothing Store emails; the mystery about how I was suddenly on that email list has yet to be solved, but here we are. The other day I got an email about these hot new jeans for summer, and, friends, what do we think of them:
To me, they scream My Mom Wore Those In The Late Eighties. Do NOT get me wrong, people. If you are wearing these jeans, I am sure you look adorable. There is no judgement here. I save my judgmental thoughts for people who don’t return their shopping carts or who wear their mask under their nose. I think pants with tie waists can look really cute, but they are not for me, particularly the denim variety. Last summer I optimistically purchased a pair of very-casual yoga-style pants that have a high tie-waist and they flatter me not at all; regrets, I have them. I think I need to add them to the donation pile. The biggest problem, for me, is that such styles – along with wide-leg pants – require either a crop top or the tucking in of shirts, neither of which I am interested in wearing or doing. See also: perimenopausal body. My interest in personally wearing trendy clothing began fading a few years ago with the reappearance of crop tops, waned further with wide-leg pants, and now has thudded to a halt with these jeans.
I was thinking about how far removed I am from being trendy the other day, when I was in the mall. You read that right: I was in the mall. I initially thought the last time I was in the mall was November, when Christmas shopping, but then I realized that no, I had briefly been there in April to buy my mom a birthday present. At that time, though, we were heading into our third (fourth?) lockdown, and my “shopping” consisted of me parking to the closest exit and speed walking to and from the one store I wanted to visit.
The mall, though. It’s pretty depressing. So many stores are shuttered and so many more seem to be struggling. The children’s play park is covered with tarps and encircled by “do not cross” tape. I haven’t been shopping in so long I probably would have “helped” all the struggling stores if I had more time, but alas. I was there for Father’s Day gifts – that is NEXT weekend! Already! – and I had to stay focused on the task. Still, I noticed Skechers has some pretty cute sandals and Mary Janes; do I need another pair of sandals and Mary Janes? No, I do not. And yet the heart wants what it wants, perhaps I will gather the strength to go again soon.
Other than the depressing-ness, I noticed all the window displays of the trendy stores: so many booty shorts, so much tie-dye. I feel like the Kathy Bates character in Fried Green Tomatoes: I’m too young to be old and too old to be young. Ah, youth. I see girls wearing these things and I think they are adorable; I also imagine they think they look terrible in many ways, because our society teaches us to loathe ourselves practically from birth. I want to grab them all by the shoulders and tell them that they are so very beautiful, and that one day, they will be in their middle age and see the tie-dyed shirts and booty shorts of their youth return, and they will wish they knew just how beautiful they were.
Outfit of the Week
Speaking of clothing! I mentioned during last week’s heat wave that this week would feature cool-weather rainwear, and people, I do not disappoint.
This was my Going To The Mall outfit! I coveted Hunter boots for years and years, but I could never justify a pair since I HAD a solid pair of rain boots. Well, a couple years ago those rain boots – that I bought when the boys were in the double stroller – developed a big crack and no longer served as waterproof footwear, and at the same time these boots were on sale, and kismet. That tweedish coat is lined and only semi-waterproof, so good for Going To The Mall, but not great for Walking In The Rain, and it dates from 2014. Fun fact: I have coordinated the detailing of my mask with my lavender yoga pants. I won’t be sad to see the end of the pandemic, but mask-outfit coordinating is still really fun.
Pandemic Reading
The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. Ernie (HI ERNIE) mentioned that she was reading this for book club, so I put it on hold; it came in quickly and then I…put off reading it, renewing it until I could renew no more. Fun fact: for a while it was in the same pile with The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. I was reticent to read it because a) it’s a murder mystery, a genre I do not generally like, b) it’s also kind of sci-fi, c) it’s written by a man, and d) Allison, (HI ALLISON) who DID like it, thought I wouldn’t, and she’s generally right. Well, I didn’t really like it but I didn’t hate it, it’s very cleverly written, although it felt too long and drawn out for me. I kept thinking this book has GOT to be over soon, why are there still 150 pages left to read, wait, ANOTHER new character, what is happening. Also it felt like it was written in the hopes someone would pick up the film rights which, did they? Is this a movie? I could see this being a successful movie. Not for me but if you like murder mysteries and sci-fi, you’d probably like it.
Murder On My Mind: A Memoir of Menopause. The title ALONE made me want to read this. Reading this is like having a conversation with a very good friend or a sister who is not afraid to talk about the gritty and somewhat gory details of menopause. I am all for normalizing these conversations, despite what society in general and clothing manufacturers in particular think, we do not disappear with age and declining fertility. I think we should have a Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret-style revival, but with menopause instead of first periods and bras. Fun fact: the author lives in Calgary!
Lucky. If you’re looking for a light and satisfying summer read, look no further! A grifter pulls off a heist, and also has a winning lottery ticket in her pocket. But she can’t cash it without turning herself in. What to do?
Have a beautiful week, everyone! Here, the kids are going into final exams and everything feels very June-ish, which is not unexpected, as it is the middle of June. xo
I remember those paper dolls. It was so hard to fold the tabs right so the clothes would stay on. North had a magnetic dress up doll when they were little. Technological improvement there.
I covet those boots, maybe because one of my own (shorter) rain boots has been missing for months and I refuse to buy a new pair because I know it’s in the house somewhere. It has to be, right? I wouldn’t have gone out in the rain and come home with just one boot.
Well, I wouldn’t think so, unless your life is WAY more exciting than mine! It must be in the house.
A magnetic doll is a huge technological improvement!
I also loved paper dolls and I’m smiling because you still have yours!
I honestly believe trends are for the younger set. I can not do high waisted anything; they make me look bigger than I am. So, I’m going to pass on those hideous looking jeans. Also, being petite, anything cropped makes me look like my legs are even shorter. That’s gonna be a hard no.
YOU are adorable in everything you wear, even rain gear. It really is sad about all the mall stores going way; the times have changed so much even before Covid.
I should dig out my old paper dolls! I am really uncomfortable in high-waisted clothes, they feel constricting to me.
In a moment of desperation, I bought wide legged capris. They are 100% terrible. They are the least flattering piece of clothing I own. I now know why they were on a “no return” sale. Because they’re THE WORST.
THEY ARE THE WORST! Ugh, now the only thing to do is donate them – but then it feels like passing on the horrible! 🙂
Oh yes, paper dolls! I used to love those! However my mother had to buy me the ones that were pre-perforated, so I just had to carefully punch them out. I have never been good with scissors.
Totally random question: how do you pronounce Calgary? I grew up just south of Alberta and always thought it was CAL-guh-ree. But someone I was with the other day said very confidently that she had met someone from cal-GARE-ee and it was pronounced cal-GARE-ee. I will accept your ruling.
You are correct! It’s CAL-guh-ree, but also acceptable is CAL-gree. Only people who aren’t from Calgary emphasize the GARY, in my experience. I think it’s because Calgarian is pronounced Cal-GARE-ian.
Pre-perforated! I don’t think I had any of those.
Thank you for confirming! I feel very smug. Not that I can DO anything with the smugness.
I’m surprised you had paper dolls — I thought they would be more a memory of someone my age (65) I just had this random memory come to me – my mother bought McCall’s magazine and there was always a paper doll cutout page; she was called Betsy McCall and I LOVED her & her clothes. Wow — that’s a distant one. I agree that you look adorable in anything you wear and so glad one of your boots split so you could buy a pair of Hunters. Funny how we have to justify these purchases (I’m still wearing a cheapo pair at our cottage but I may splurge on a pair of Hunters very soon). I have embraced the skinny jeans and also recently heard that they are passe….Yikes I don’t know about drawstring pants. I think I was the mom wearing in the late 80’s. (As a Canadian I’ll chime in — It is definitely CAL-gar-ee. Although my sons that live there occasionally call it “The Gary”)
Yes, I had a lot of paper dolls! I would get books of them for Christmas and birthdays – loved them.
Hard no from me on those pants. Like Suz, I’m too short for that look – I think you need to be tall, willowy and really young to pull those off – which doesn’t describe me at all.
High waisted skinny jeans FOREVER for me.
I vaguely remember reading The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. I also remember vaguely liking it, but not loving it. I just remember it could get REALLY confusing.
I love skinny jeans! I’m a hard no for wide-legs!
Oh my gosh, my name appears in your blog. 😉 You nailed it on the critique of that book. Interesting premise, but I was like WHEN WILL THIS END? And I was getting characters confused. Not terrible, but not my favorite. I died that it was in your pile along with the 7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo book. Ha.
No fads for me. I never did the cold-shoulder look when that rolled in. I remember VIVIDLY the first time I saw someone wearing skinny jeans. It was in the grocery store and I was like WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE WEARING? Skinny jeans is all I wear now. Wide legs, no thanks. I still remember my mom wearing bell bottoms in the late 70s and wide parts of legs makes me cringe. Those pants are awful. In my opinion. I don’t tuck in shirts and I have a fav pair of stretchy pants that are sort of athletic but can be dressed up (Mini borrowed for interview at school). They have a tie and I have to leave it untied because it makes it look like I still have my umbilical cord attached as my shirt cannot lay flat. Cropped pants make me feel like I can get away with anything. Or at least I urge my tall daughters to embrace that mentality as we have a hard time finding jeans long enough for us. Me, less so, since I think I am shrinking.
I’ve recently gone back to shopping a bit because my sundresses are all starting to look a little sad. I found myself frustrated at the time I was wasting. Weird, because shopping used to be my thing. Coach will totally celebrate if my not-so-interested-in-shopping mood continues.
I love that raincoat. I have purple boots like that because of a sale. I wish they were black.
WHEN WILL THIS END was exactly how I felt. “This seems to be wrapping up – wait, there’s 200 more pages!”
I like cropped pants, just not the wide-leg variety. The cold-shoulder look – NEVER.
Hi, I’m new-ish here, thrilled to have found you through Swistle! Fellow Canadian! Thoroughly enjoying your writing and take on life! I read your 2012 post on skinny jeans, and had to laugh at the comments and would love for each of the women who swore the bootcut jeans would have to be pried out of their cold, dead hands to update on when they converted to skinny jeans! I also loved your comment back then insisting that high waists and acid-washed anything would never return! It is astonishing to see kids in high school wearing my exact wardrobe from 1988!!
Hi Marguerite! Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. It cracks me up to see old posts like that – and here we are. NEVER SAY THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. I think it’s a kind of fun thing of aging, actually, seeing our high school looks “recycled.” I am constantly seeing young girls wearing outfits that I remember so clearly wearing, or that I would have wanted to wear at that age.
I thought that book was super cool, and I was confident you would not like it. I HATE those pants. Eve bought mom jeans, and damn, she’s cute in everything, but I still hated them. And we had hit such a flattering time for pants with lower waists but not too low – why did they have to mess with it? I also hate skinny jeans, but not on others, just on me because they make my legs feel like they’re suffocating – although I do have that one magical pair of jeggings, but I prefer leggings for wearing with tunics and boots. Your rainy-day outfit is devastatingly cool.
Leggings with tunics and boots are the absolute best and I will die on that hill. You know me so well! xoxo
I remember wearing cropped jeans with wide legs. I felt like a large tote bag in them. I hope they aren’t here to stay again. That being said I’m not a clothes horse so I probably won’t be impacted by this new old trend. I’ve never worn leggings or skinnies either. Just give me five pocket jeans, bootcut, and no one will get hurt.
“Tote bag” – that does seem to be the esthetic of the wide leg crops! Five pocket bootcut are a classic!