Today is the last day of school before the break, and I’m relieved. There was a time when I did not understand this phenomenon, but I do now. It’s not like our mornings are crazily rushed – by the time the school bell rings the kids have been up for a minimum of two hours, and I’ve been up for at least four. This is a good thing because to save my sanity I inform Jake that he must start getting dressed at 8:00, so by the time we leave the house at 8:45 he is generally dressed. Except for socks, which for some reason must only be put on right before boots and with much encouragement from me.
But oh, I am ready for a break! My holiday spirit took a little bit of a beating this week and it was all because of the pediatric dentist. I now have reminders to never again make a dental appointment in December. The dentist’s office shares a parking lot with Wal-Mart. Have you attempted to find parking in a Wal-Mart parking lot at 1:00 in the afternoon ten days before Christmas? I do not recommend it. There are angry people everywhere. Very, very angry people. So I was feeling a bit flustered even before the appointment, which in itself is a trying experience: I have one child who sits quietly, mouth wide open, for the entire process, and one who seems to have some sort of sensory integration issues the minute the chair goes back as he starts to go stiff, hold his breath, and gag. It’s sad because he is truly trying his best, he really is, he sits perfectly still for x-rays and teeth counting but the second the hygienist snaps that little toothpaste container on her finger, he goes a little nuts. So that was fun.
Then, the dentist came in. Remember the dentist? The very attractive dentist? Well, evidently the past six months have not been good to him because I would not now describe him as the hot, crush-inspiring pediatric dentist he once was. Of course, that is very shallow and superficial of me but come on. I’m a stay-at-home mom. I wore my nice jeans and my good lipstick. Throw me a bone, here, people.
By the end of the appointment, I had a choice: I could just keep Mark home for the remainder of the afternoon, or I could rush him back to school in time for him to have recess and sing carols, only to rush back to the school to pick him up. Lazy mom that I am, I just went home. I was in need of some holiday spirit. So I decided to make gingerbread people with the kids and listen to Christmas carols.
What’s your favourite Christmas song? Mine is – despite assertions from certain people that this song causes brain aneurisms – the Wham! Christmas song. I listened to it a number of times and felt much better. Also on my list, Santa Baby, which I know is commercial and everything I try not to be but hey, it is so much fun to sing. I like to sing it in a slutty, I’m-a-lounge-singer-who-is-lying-on-a-grand-piano-wearing-a-spangly-dress-slit-up-the-side kind of way. With a long cigarette holder. You get the picture. Although I have to wonder, what is the market for sables like these days? Is the fur industry even around anymore? I don’t know. Tied for third are Feliz Navidad and Mele Kalikimaka: “Hey!” Mark said, “I think that means Merry Christmas in another language!”
So tell me, what do you like to listen to around the holidays? The one song I cannot stand is I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. It is just way too creepy. It just conjures up images of, how shall I put this politely, a child stumbling into an intimate situation involving lap sitting and queries of “Have you been a good girl this year?” If you know what I’m saying.
On that note, here are some g-rated pictures of me attempting to get the children to a) look at me and b) smile while making gingerbread. You can see how well I succeeded.
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| “Okay guys, look at me.” |
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| “Guys, look at me.” |
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| “Okay, good, Jake, but maybe with a less angry face.” |
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| “Um.” |
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| “Mark, I meant to look and smile, not start eating the cookies.” |
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| Yeah. So I didn’t get the picture I was hoping for. But it was fun! |
I’ve been avoiding Walmart like the plague for the past couple of weeks, but I did venture (very reluctantly) to Costco earlier this week and it was frightening indeed. I was one of those very angry people by the end of it all. There should be some sort of Walmart/Costco delivery service.
The dentist is super stressful for us. It never goes well. And I just remembered that it’s almost time for our next appointments.
I know what you mean about looking forward to the break. My girls get on the bus at 7 am, and it is a hellish time getting ready that early. You’re lucky that school starts later for your boys… though I know it is still a battle getting kids ready to go. Another thing to love about the break is no homework. I hate homework sessions with my four kids with a passion!
Since you asked, my fave Christmas carols are Let It Snow, o Holy Night, Feliz Navidad, and Mele Kalekimaka.
Hahah! You crack me up getting a hot-ified for the dentist! I winder if I wouldn’t be so scared if my dentist was hot 😉
Right now I have reached my tolerance level for Christmas songs but I do listen to a twisted Christmas. Yes, Twisted Sister has a CD about Christmas and it is facken awesome.
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Your boys are so cute!
You’re right about that song…how perverted! 😉
I like the one about Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…I know its been said many times, may ways…Merry Christmas to you!
Our dental office is all female. I go in yoga pants and a sweatshirt. It’s awesome.
My favorite Christmas songs: Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer and Come Thou Long Expected Jesus. I do understand there is a dichotomy.
My favorite Christmas songs are the Barenaked Ladies versions of Jingle Bells and God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen. I’m with you on hating the Mommy Kissing Santa claus one. . . way too creepy.
I went to Wal-Mart today and am unhappy to admit that I was one of those angry, stressed out people. Then I went to a yoga class. A wonderful, calming yoga class. Then I went to Toys R Us, and the crowds and parking lot did not phase me one little bit. I think EVERYONE should do yoga in December.
Merry Christmas Nicole!
It’s a great visual of you singing Santa Baby and why I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is troublesome.
LisaDay
Look at you and those homemade cookies, making the rest of us feel like we now have to make homemade cookies….sigh…
Love the pictures with the captions below by the way! Hilarious!…look at me, no, don’t eat the cookies!
I can never pick a favourite. I was in the McMaster choir when I went there and we did an awesome shiver-inducing version of Oh Come All Ye Faithful, but it was on tape and I lost it. I love Boney M’s Mary’s Boy Child, the Eurythmics doing Walking in a Winter Wonderland, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and Baby it’s Cold Outside, which you’ve narrowly escaped ruining for me forever (what’s in this drink? Honestly!)