I’m really having a slump-y afternoon. Those of you who are home with the kids may understand….for me Friday afternoons are always a bit tinged with melancholy. Sure, we will be doing fun things on the weekend. Sure, it will be great to have Rob take over some of the kid-related activities. But weekends are sure not what they once were. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but normally by Friday afternoon I’m a touch, let’s say, bitchy? And easily annoyed? So I thought I’d write down a few things with the thought that maybe seeing the absurdity in writing will make me laugh a bit.

THINGS THAT IRRITATED ME TODAY (note, most of these things happen on a daily basis, but don’t usually irritate me)

Early morning conversation.

Me: Okay guys, before we head out, make sure you brush your teeth, wash your faces, and use the bathroom.

Jake: I not have to pee, Mama.

Jake: I already peed last week!

Jake: I peed yesterday when I had my bath! (note: following the grand tradition of his brother’s, he makes a happy game of peeing in the bath)

Me: Jake, we’re not leaving until you go to the bathroom.

Jake: Okay Mama. But, I’m not peeing ever again!

Five minutes later…

Me: Let’s get our sunscreen on!

Mark: I don’t need sunscreen.

Me: Yes you do!

Mark: I’m never going outside again if I have to wear sunscreen.

Me: (sound of brain exploding from the tedium of the preschooler debate team)

Later in the day…(note: I’m very fortunate in that the boys rarely fight. When they do fight, however, it is so stupid as to be completely mind-numbing. This is why I have a red wine habit).

Mark: Jake, who do you want to be from the Cars movie? I’m going to be Chick.

Jake: I be Doc Hudson! The town doctor and dudge!

Mark: I changed my mind. Actually, I’m Doc Hudson.

Jake: No I am. I AM DOC HUDSON.

Both, simultaneously: AAAHHHHHHHAAAHHHHHH

Still later in this very long afternoon.

Me: Hey guys, would you like to pick out a video to watch while I make dinner?

Mark: Jake, let’s watch Garbage Dump – your favourite! (note: this actually is Jake’s favourite video).

Jake: YAYYYY!!!!

Me: Mark, that was so nice to pick that one out.

As I’m putting the DVD into the machine…

Mark: Actually, I changed my mind. I don’t agree. How about Buses, Subways and Trains?

Jake: NO! Garbage Dump! Actually, I don’t agree. Maybe Construction Site?

Mark: NO!

Jake: NO!

Me (very cleverly): Okay, if you can’t agree, I will choose something for you. (turning on Treehouse, knowing that Fifi and the Flowertots is on)

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! NOT FIFI!!!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!

Mark: Jake, what about Mission to Mars?

Jake: Okay.

And so the weekend countdown begins!!!

I am in a really good place right now, in terms of my children. Believe me – BELIEVE ME – this has not always been the case. The stages that they are in right now are so great. Mark at four is kind, helpful, and independently branching out in so many fun and wonderful ways. I also find that I am enjoying Jake at 2 1/2 more than I enjoyed Mark at that age – possibly because I don’t have a one year old to take care of. Jake’s nutty, funny, and inherently kind. They play together well and really like one another.

When I think about where I was two years ago, or even one year ago, I think “Who was that crazy person?”. I recall feeling exhausted to the point of collapse. I recall that an outing to the grocery store could feel like a marathon, and an outing to the zoo felt like an Olympic event, but one in which I was not trained. I recall two years ago when my sister-in-law came to visit, I actually almost fell asleep at the wheel after picking her up at the airport.

Motherhood has not been what I thought it would be – is anything? – but what it is, is simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting, frustrating and rewarding, frantically boring and incredibly exciting.

I wanted to write this note to give a shout-out to all you moms – you are all doing great at this incredibly difficult job! Here’s to you! Now I am going to pour myself an enormous glass of wine and toast all of you. Love you all.