Every year – generally, these days, in August – I receive my own hard copy of the Sears Wish Book and every year it brings me much joy and happiness. When I was a kid I would circle all the amazing things I wanted in the Wish Book in order to make my list for Santa; I was equally mesmerized by the extensive doll selection near the back and the “Gifts” section near the front. Flash forward a few decades and I’m still mesmerized by the “Gifts” section.

I actually really, really love the Sears catalogue – and not just the Wish Book, no – every year I order Sorel boots for the kids; they always have the sizes I need at good prices and I don’t have to drag the boys to every shoe store in the mall only to find they DON’T have any boots for boys except in size tiny and gigantic. I order flannel sheets from Sears and the very best pajamas in the world are from Sears:

Totally. And although I wanted to write this post back in August when I received the Sears Wish Book, I held off out of respect for you, dear reader. But I cannot hold out any longer. Here is Nicole’s Favourite Things: Sears Wish Book Edition, Part 1. Yes, dear reader, there will be more than one part. It’s a series! A series of Wish Book awesomeness. Let’s start with the “Gifts”, shall we?

Retro Gifts

I love these things. Didn’t we all have them when we were kids? I know I had that record player and the telephone. I clearly recall playing Clare de Lune over and over, and also having amazing pretend conversations on my chatter phone. However, I kind of think that if you’re looking to give these to your kids as gifts…well, let’s just say it might be more of a gift for yourself, you know? I’m not totally sure children would really love the chatter phone all that much, although, who knows? Maybe they like to pretend they’re living in the dark ages when we all had rotary phones. Actually I think my parents just got rid of their flesh coloured rotary phone recently. Not to mention my in-laws have my husband’s original TV radio and it still works; the kids used to listen to The Farmer in the Dell on it over and over when they were smaller. I’m not sure what I think of the $99 Coca Cola fridge. It seems a little bossy. Have a Coke – NOW. I don’t even like Coke. I haven’t had one in probably 30 years.

I don’t remember Hello Kitty being a thing when I was a kid. Everything on this page makes the practical side of me say this is landfill garbage; probably would break after one or two uses. The impractical, pink-deprived side of me says squeeeeee I need a Hello Kitty Cotton Candy Maker! Also, how cute is that dollhouse? Moving on.

 Dog Related Items

There is something amazing about a mug that says “I Like Big Mutts and I Cannot Lie”. Digression: if you had to have a theme song that would play every time you walked into a room – i.e., like Darth Vader – what would it be? Mine would be Baby Got Back. I think that would be epic.

Questionable Stocking Stuffers

Stocking stuffers for everyone on your list, says the caption, but I actually question this. Cake pop pans – MAYBE. But “Trendy Top” which is supposed to “Cover your waist, belly, and rear view” and then shows a picture of someone bending over and okay, there is probably a better way to tell someone that you can totally see their panties when they bend over and maybe they should cover up that belly, too, than putting such an item in their Christmas stocking. That said, I do think it’s a good idea, but maybe not for a gift? And do you see the white drill-like thing at the bottom? That’s an ear wax remover. Now, I just took Jake into the doctor to get his own severely impacted ear wax removed, and it was simultaneously revolting and fascinating, but I’m not sure that an Wax Vac Ear Cleaner would be well received as a present. Nor, maybe, an Expanding Hose and Hanger or a set of Sham-Wows. Or an Aaahh Bra, unless you knew that person very well and they requested it. I did buy one of those Hot Buns things from my hair salon, and it’s pretty cool, so maybe that would be a nice stocking stuffer.

Canadiana

A snowball maker and thrower, all in one! I haven’t really made snowballs in a long time but that seems fun, as does the Canada Beverage Survival Belt. I would totally buy one of those for my father-in-law; he would love it. The parrot corkscrew is kind of cute in a creepy-kitchy way.

File Under Hmmmm

For $29.99 a giant keyboard seems like a steal, although it’s lots smaller than the one from the FAO Schwartz in the movie Big. The tutu/ blanket set would be good although the sizing says “One Size Fits Most Girls”. That’s pretty gender specific, Sears. Hey, an Agent P clock radio! Say goodbye to your clock radio.

Probably Not

I have seen these hoodies on kids, and fine. Creepy, but fine. If I saw this on a grown man I’d dial 9-1- and then wait to be attacked. Sorry, grown men who are fans of skeleton hoodies that go over your face. These are not appropriate to wear while out and about unless you want people to profile you a certain unflattering way, the best case scenario being a guy who lives in his mom’s basement making youtube videos of his X-box cheat codes.