Just to set the stage, here, it is 3:24 pm and I’m considering opening my SECOND beer.  Listen, I’m just impressed I made it until Friday to start drinking.  It’s been a very involved week, parenting wise, and by that I mean that I was chaperone to an all-day field trip to the museum on Wednesday, and I was volunteering for an in-class field trip all morning today. 

Let’s first discuss the Wednesday field trip.  There were two upsides to it: a) Mark was thrilled that I was on the field trip, and b) it was indoors.  The rain was coming down in sheets when we boarded the muggy, hot school bus.  I was instantly appreciative of two of the other parent volunteers: one, a dad who yelled at all the kids to shut up so the driver could talk, and two, a mom – and a friend of mine – who told two little screaming girls that their high pitched squeals were completely uncalled for and distracting to the driver.  These two were field trip veterans, and I was to become just like them before the day was through.

My group of five children seemed fine and normal until 50 minutes before lunch break, when the museum curator informed us that we now had “free time” to “explore” the museum.  I like exploring museums, with my two children who stay with me and who don’t, let’s say, try to ruin all the exhibits and/or run away and/or refuse to move when there is an educational film playing.  But with five children, including one who kept running ahead of the group and getting lost and one who kept getting distracted and lagged behind, also getting lost, it was pretty much the exact opposite of enjoyable.  The one consolation I had was that if I did actually lose two of my group of five, at least they would still be in the building.  The happy news is that all the children, under my watchful eye, ended up on the school bus at the end of the day.  The unhappy news is that I felt like I was going to lose my mind saying “Don’t touch the artifacts.  Keep up with the group.  STAY WITH ME.”  At one point I gave my group two options in a VERY FIRM VOICE: either listen to me and stay together, or stand silently and without moving for the remaining ten minutes until lunch break.  As we headed for the tipi display, I warned that anyone not listening to me would be left behind.  Yes, I threatened to leave the children behind for their misbehaviours.  It worked.  They all listened.  Possibly they also had nightmares about spending the night in the museum.  Wasn’t there a movie about that?

Did I mention that I have been – TMI ALERT – extremely premenstrual this week, to the point of “if my period doesn’t start soon, someone is going to get stabbed”?  So being at the museum with seventy children, riding a crowded school bus in the rain, and then supervising 35 children eating lunch on the floor of a tiny room, plus being responsible for four children who were not my own, two of whom seemed determined to get lost, was probably not the best plan for maintaining good mental health.

And then – THEN – today was an in-class field trip for Jake’s class, where the students would be learning about the ear and how hearing works.  It is just as fascinating as it sounds, and three hours later I was pretty tired of explaining about sound waves and pitch and OMG this is so boring I think I need another drink.  Also?  The volunteers today were the same volunteers from Wednesday’s trip, which means I think we all need a medal.  OR ANOTHER DRINK.  There are thirty-five children in Jake’s class, and quite a number of them are very behaviourally challenged, to the point of needing extra educational assistants, and all I could think of was how impressive it is that the teacher seems sane and is not an alcoholic.

Last week I told the kids that there was only three and a half weeks left of school.  Whee!  We were counting down excitedly to summer vacation when I realized, tragically, that I was a week off.  Ooops.  NOW there are three and a half weeks left of school, not last week.  We are all somewhat devastated by this information. 

I feel like I have more to say, but no more mojo with which to say it.  In other words, happy Friday, beautiful people!  Play nice, have fun. xoxo