Very often, I think about all of us in the world, how we are all going about our lives in ways that are both the same and vastly different. Isn’t it incredible, in this big small world, that we are all bustling along, working away, caring for ourselves and our families and our pets, sneaking in bursts of joy in the day, and it’s all the same but also different?
I try not to be ethnocentric, or, more accurately, Nicolecentric, but sometimes I am surprised to discover that friends do boring, everyday things so very differently than I. It’s not like I think my methods are better or worse than anyone else’s, but they are different, I am discovering. I think sometimes there can be moral value judgement placed on how women do things – how often we do laundry, how often do we clean the bathroom, what are we making for dinner – but I’m not interested in any of that. One thing is as good as another, in my books. All the same, I wanted to talk about things I have noticed lately that we all do, but in different ways.
By The Book
My husband asked why I even have cookbooks because I never use them, or if I do use them, it is to wildly change the recipe. This is an exaggeration but only a little one; I don’t think there is any recipe I use regularly that I have not adapted or changed in some way. I’m like the irritating people who used to write in when I was working at YMC, who would say ridiculous things like: I made the chickpea dish you posted but I didn’t have chickpeas so I subbed ground beef, and I didn’t have lemon for the sauce so I used Worcestershire, and instead of parsley I used lettuce. It was terrible, I give zero stars to this recipe. Although, I’m not exactly like that, I like all the dishes I make, no notes. Even recipes for baked goods get the Nicole treatment – shave off some sugar, double the vanilla, let’s add chocolate chips! – and so all my cookbooks have my writing all over them, noting changes. I guess I think of cookbooks as aspirational jumping-off points, rather than, you know, something to use to make dinner.
Before we moved, I committed the cardinal sin of buying something new and extra to pack – two new cookbooks. I think I was having some kind of emotional crisis. My thinking was along the lines that we were going to be in a new house, in a new province, living a new life, with a half empty nest, and it was time to shake up the weekly meal plan. There seemed no need to have a pita pizza night when it would be just me and my husband, and there was no need to make extra pita pizzas for school lunches. So I bought two cookbooks and one of them sounded so promising, called Mandy’s Gourmet Salads. Mandy’s is, apparently, a famous salad and bowl place in Montreal, and I thought, what could be better? Well. This is the most ridiculous cookbook I have ever seen. Each recipe refers to at least one, but usually more, additional recipe on a different page, and then THAT recipe refers to another recipe. As an example, I wanted to make a peanut Thai noodle dish, and the recipe referred to another page for a spicy tofu recipe, and to another page for the chili lime dressing. When I got to the dressing page, the first item in the chili lime dressing recipe referred to ANOTHER recipe as the base for that dressing, and then THAT base recipe referred to another recipe for sesame syrup reduction, at which point I slammed the book shut and decided just to Free Bird it, deeply regretting wasting money on a cookbook when I was just going to make something up anyway. And this bird you cannot change.
Oh, I’m Dishwashing My Life Away
Someone recently asked me, when I mentioned washing dishes for the fifth time in a day, why I didn’t just get a dishwasher. I do indeed have a dishwasher and I do indeed use the dishwasher, but only for plates, silverware, and glassware, which is honestly only a small percentage of the items that need to be washed in the kitchen each day. I hand wash pots, pans, the food processor, the Vitamix, mixing bowls, and all the related cooking accoutrements. I suppose I could put some of those in the dishwasher, but they all take up a lot of room which would necessitate running the dishwasher several times a day, which seems wasteful.
When we were in planning stages of the house, the designer strongly recommended a large single sink to my husband, who relayed this information to me, was clearly not prepared for my outsized, passionate feelings about a double sink. He may have physically backed up slightly. I need a double sink to survive, is what I am saying, which is why Diane’s (HI DIANE) recent post about her dishwasher breaking, and her stopper-less single sink, gave me secondhand dishwashing anxiety. I have a very specific way of washing dishes: I fill the left sink with hot soapy water, and use the right sink to rinse out dishes BEFORE they go into the hot soapy water, because it harshes my kitchen mellow to have food particles or grease in the dishwater. I like clean dish water, what can I say. If I’m really in the zone I can rinse the washed-and-soapy dishes with hot running water, and allow that hot running water to also rinse the dirty dishes in the right sink, which feels like a virtuous water conservation project. If a pot is really gross, I will use a scrubber and the rinse water to clean it out BEFORE it goes into the hot soapy water. All the clean dishes get piled up on the dish rack and there they stay until they are dry, or dry enough, to put away. Growing up, my job was always to dry dishes, and there is not a household job I loathe more than that, no, not even scrubbing toilets; as god is my witness I shall never dry dishes again. Well, sometimes I do if I’m desperate, and when the kids clean the kitchen after dinner one of them will dry dishes, to prevent the inevitable tumbling down of the tower of dishes piled in the rack. They do not seem to have my dish-drying aversion.
This is controversial, but I never put a plate in the dishwasher without rinsing it first. I pile all the plates and cutlery into the dirty dishwater, after pots and pans are washed, and give each item a quick swipe with the scrub brush before loading the dishwasher. “So, you wash the dishes BEFORE they go into the dishwasher?” my mother asked me with her eyebrows in her hairline. No, I rinse them; if I washed them I would use the clean dishwater. My friend Dom (HI DOM) straight up told me that this methodology is a) insane and b) would, over time, result in a subpar performance by my dishwasher. Nevertheless, I am who I am and I shall not be deterred.
Girl, Wash Your Face
Speaking of washing things, if we were playing Never Have I Ever, I would say used a washcloth to wash my face. I use my hands, and so does my entire family; not to be insular, but I never really thought about it any other way until I read this by Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) and this by Engie (HI ENGIE) and realized that a large percentage of people are Team Washcloth. I have just never considered a washcloth as an option, and I probably never will, because the way I wash my face works just fine for me. A washcloth seems too rough for my skin and always has, although that doesn’t explain my early-teen usage of St Ives Apricot Scrub. I think that product could remove rust from a wheel well.
When I admitted that, while I own a couple of washcloths, they are never used for their intended purpose, I felt kind of exotic, fielding questions about washing my face with my hands, like I just landed here from Mars and humans were wondering how Martians perform their daily ablutions. Are you wondering how, exactly I wash my face? No? Are you thinking Nicole, this is the weirdest and most boring topic you have ever written about, and I just read a thousand words about how you wash dishes and hate cookbooks, so that is saying something? Well, we didn’t come this far just to get this far, people. Strap in, friends, we are going for a wild ride.
Here are the necessary items that guarantee success: a fresh hand towel for patting the old visage dry post-washing, Dove bar soap, Neutrogena cleanser.
Also necessary: tying back my hair and, when applicable, pushing up sleeves. No one wants to go to bed with wet jammie wrists, not that this is a concern with summer jammies.
First step: wet hands, work up a small lather with the Dove bar, and then splash the soapy water on the face, massaging gently to loosen the layers of makeup and sunscreen from the day, paying special attention to the eyes. I gently rub my eyelashes until I no longer feel mascara, but instead look like a crazed raccoon.
Next step: rinse hands and then work a dollop of Neutrogena cleanser into a lather, apply to face, massaging gently for a minute or so.
Last step: rinse, and then pat dry with the clean towel. I don’t like to put my face into a used towel, so I have many hand towels that I have under the sink for single use, like the princess that I am. This can also be used to wipe up any errant water sprays if need be.
Now I’m ready for my many serums and night creams!
Weekly Reading
Before I get into what I did read this week, I am going to tell you about a DNF. It is very rare for me not to finish a book, but the Menopause Reset made it onto the short list. How or why this ended up on my Kobo, I know not; maybe someone recommended it, maybe the Kobo algorithm recommended it, maybe I heard the author on a podcast and liked her, who can say. Well. The very first sentence is something like “Are you tired of not being able to lose weight?” and I thought, NO. Not only am I not interested, I am not even interested in reading even tangentially about weight loss. But I pushed through the first two chapters before abandoning ship. It was not well written, for one thing, although I have read worse-written books. The first two chapters talked about how great the author’s life was until menopause hit, and then there were SO MANY HOT FLASHES, YOU GUYS. Then she outlined how she took charge of her menopause, and mainly, it seems, that was accomplished through the keto diet, intermittent fasting, and detoxing. Again, none of these things are of interest to me but I may have still read it, had she not revealed that she did not believe in medication utilization for depression and anxiety. I myself do not suffer depression nor anxiety, but I have friends who do and medication literally saved their lives. Listen, I will grudgingly tolerate this attitude from Tom Cruise, because Maverick, but I will not read this kind of bullshit from another woman. DEE EN EFF.
A Living Remedy. This is a memoir about a woman losing both of her parents; I had also read her memoir about being adopted and the search for her birth parents, and I will say that this book was a much more compelling read. She discusses her father’s death from complications from untreated diabetes, and what stood out to me is the absolute disaster that it is for people without health insurance to become sick in the United States. I am no Smug Canadian here, because our health care system is far from perfect (ask me about finding a new doctor! Or wait lists!) but I think the absolute last thing a sick person should be doing is worrying about costs of treatment and if those costs are going to push a person into bankruptcy, which is exactly what happened in this book. Her working poor parents had no health insurance, and her dad became sicker and sicker, until he went to a doctor and discovered he lost 90% of his kidney function. His treatment, plus her mother’s bills from cancer treatment, meant that they had to declare bankruptcy. For some reason, they didn’t qualify for Medicare or disability insurance either. I think it is an absolute travesty. Recently I listened to the Hooked on Life podcast where one of their guests discussed his own journey with cancer and said that what is never talked about is the crippling depression that happens AFTER treatment; this man had lost his home, his job, everything. Anyway, this book is about more than just that, it also shows a beautiful and loving relationship between the author and her mother. Her mother died of cancer during the early part of the pandemic; the author could not be with her mother when she passed, and it made me so sad to remember that very terrible time. So many deaths that would have been so lonely. This book is definitely worth a read but, clearly, heavy reading material.
If you, like me, are also fascinated by the myriad ways we experience the boring and mundane minutia of life, feel free to share! Are you Team Washcloth or Team Hands? Do you also have weird and absolutely rigid ways of doing the dishes? Do you hate drying them? How do you feel about recipes? Tell me everything. xo
I love knowing the variances in our day-to-day routines, Nicole! So fun to read! Ever since I wrote about washing my face, I vowed to buy a pile of washcloths… but haven’t wanted to do so until after I move, and am instead using just my hands. And it’s fine. It’s very WET, but it works fine. I am very impressed that you took PHOTOS of your face washing routine! How are you able to open your eyes at all during the process?!?!
You probably know this already, but I am a hardcore fan of Rinse Before Dishwashing. My husband and I read an article years ago about how your dishwasher LIKES dirty dishes and is meant to deal with food, so we tried it for awhile. But it just feels WRONG. (And it didn’t work, although that may have been the poor quality of our apartment complex dishwasher.) Also, I don’t want to clean a bunch of food out of my dishwasher filter. No thank you. I see the rinsing as getting rid of the food and the dishwashing as more of a sanitization process. But unlike you, I dishwash EVERYTHING I CAN. I hate handwashing things. HATE. So I will often choose ore reject dishware based on whether it is dishwasher safe. My family always has trouble with this when they visit and want to help. They are used to handwashing pots and pans. NOPE. Put ’em in the dishwasher! Even my wok is dishwasher safe.
I have a bunch of cookbooks, but I consult them VERY infrequently. And, like you, I do a lot of tweaking. Usually, I try to make the recipe in its original form first, but not always — I have been cooking long enough that I am pretty confident in the changes I make and whether they will impact the overall quality of a recipe. I am FURIOUS at your new cookbook, though! What is the DEAL with all those telescoping recipes? Not cool!!!! Although one of my favorite recipes (for chickpea bowls) is kind of like that. There’s a garlic ginger sauce you have to make, plus a spice mix, plus a separate spice mix for the chicken marinade. But I found that I could make the sauce and spice mixes ONCE and use them for multiple makings of the meal, and it’s so good. But even THAT was a strain, and it sounds like fewer “base recipes” than your poor noodle bowl!
Thank you very much for acknowledging HOW HARD IT IS TO TAKE FACE WASHING PHOTOS. Not only was I worried about blinding myself, I had to kind of dry my hands between takes. IT WAS FRAUGHT WITH DANGER.
I know people who DO put plates, etc., into the dishwasher with crumbs and so forth on them, but I worry about clogging the filter too!
We’re sisters on the cookbooks, facewashing, hand-drying dishes, Nicole! I use the dishwasher more, because I’m lazier and heard that they conserve more water even on half loads (definitely true for me since I’d rinse under running water). More to the point, we’re sisters because I was writing a course syllabus in world literature, and the theme of “it’s all the same but also different” is where I was going with it.
I hope this is a fantastic week for good reads, good eats, and family time for you. And Oh, who’s that cutie peeking out of the corner of your kitchen window?
That is Gaston my kitchen gnome! Isn’t he cute?
What a perfect name for a kitchen gnome!
I have always dreamed of having 2 sink basins in the kitchen! One of our biggest peeves about our kitchen (one of the drawbacks when we were looking at houses to buy 9 years ago) is how shallow and small the sink in the kitchen is. Water gets everywhere! There’s no way to rinse big pots! My daughter piles up her cups and bowls and plates so they spill out of the sink! However, it is last on the “hopes and dreams” list, so we continue on this way and will for many more years, haha!
Oh, a shallow sink is hard to handle! I like a big deep sink for sure.
Well, our new sink is a single sink and so far I’m loving it! I think I put more things in the dishwasher than you do though (I don’t put in anything that has plastic, but just about everything else is fair game.) And, I do rinse my plates before putting them in the dishwasher- I’m not convinced my machine would get them clean otherwise.
I have a shelf full of cookbooks that I never use anymore- I get all my recipes off the internet! I follow a recipe fairly closely, but have no problem changing things up if need be. Case in point- I was making tacos last night and at the last minute realized I had no chili powder. I googled it, and it turns out paprika is a fine substitute! Who knew?
That menopause book sounds really annoying. i’ve actually heard that keto and intermittent fasting are not good for women- but to each his own, I guess. And yes- her anti-medication stance does sound judgmental.
Oh, and I’m Team Hands!
Imagine if you and I went keto, we would be subsisting on avocado, spinach, and, I don’t know, coconut oil. I like those things but imagine eating ONLY those things!
Face cloth in the morning, hands in the evening and double sinks. When you clean while you cook, you need one sink for the dishes and one sink for rinsing & draining etc. Also, cookbooks are guides!
Yes! I do clean when I cook, or clean as I go I guess, and I do need that extra sink!
Yes I agree that the mundane stuff has been The Posts That I Didn’t Know I Needed. My thoughts are:
– Recipes are for inspiration and support. Sometimes I almost feel like I shouldn’t link to the source recipes since I change so many things. I can’t remember the last time that I bought a cookbook, but I reserve the right to do so even if I only end up looking at the pictures.
– Look the reality is that if you do anything more involved than opening a can you’re going to end up with a mountain of stuff that doesn’t go in the dishwasher. Or that can go in the dishwasher but it’s a better use of dishwasher space to just hand wash it (aka large mixing bowls). I only rinse off things that I know from life experience will need a little extra help making it through the dishwasher. It’s more convenient to have a double sink, and it’s on the list for our kitchen reno if we ever do it, but we manage with our single sink.
– Team washcloth! I need something scrubby for my face. When I don’t have a clean washcloth and have to go without, my skin feels dingy. I don’t use a washcloth anywhere else besides my face.
– Look whenever someone says that an extreme diet like keto or IF helped with x condition, all I can think is that the misery of the diet made the symptoms from the other condition seem bearable in comparison. Personally I’ve benefited from anti depressants and know many others who have, so if it’s all the same to the author I’ll continue to be open to taking them again if I need to and advise others to have the same open mindedness.
“the misery of the diet made the symptoms from the other condition seem bearable” – YESSSSSS GIRL. Life without apples or bread products seems like a very sad life to me.
I feel like it’s your turn to do a mundane stuff post!
I really enjoy posts about the mundane. I mean, I will talk about doing laundry, washing faces, or how many towels I own all day long. I am an expert on those things and there are so few things I have genuine expertise in. (Do you want me to write a post about feeding my dog? I have thoughts!)
We also basically only put plates, bowls, some glassware, and silverware in our dishwasher, leaving pots/pans, serving utensils, and a lot of random other things that someone must wash by hand. I have terrible eczema on my hands and so probably 75% of the time that person is my husband. I am not mad about this situation. I would be incredibly angry if I did not have a double sink in the kitchen (one for washing, one for the drying rack).
I basically use the Joy of Cooking and a Betty Crocker cookbook and all the rest of them just sit on a shelf being useless. I am essentially a 1960s housewife.
Oh I should have mentioned I always use gloves, because I use straight hot water and I don’t want to scald myself. Also, I don’t want to wreck my nails, hashtag vain.
I have some cookbooks, but mostly I cook from recipes that appear in the food section of the newspaper each week. I clip them and keep the winners in folders with names like “Everybody Ate It,” “Everybody But Noah Ate It” (which I started when he left for school) and “Grown-up Hits” which I will start re-using when the nest is empty.
This time of year if my face gets sweaty at a time other than when I’d normally wash it, I get a washcloth wet (no soap) and wipe it off. I may do this several times a day. If I’m actually washing my face (before bed or in the shower), I usually use one, but if I forgot to take one in the shower with me, I’ll just use my hands.
Now that you mention it I remember you had a “everybody ate it” and THAT IS SO SMART. My peanut ramen bowl was not beloved by anyone but me. I loved it but the guys thought it was “okay” so, well, I guess it wouldn’t go into my mental “everybody ate it” folder, although everybody DID eat it, they just didn’t love it.
When I started the folder the kids were younger and pickier and the title was literally true. If everyone ate it, it went in the folder. I’m a little more selective now.
First off, we are dishwashing twins! I also only puts plates/glasses/silverware/etc in the dishwasher and I rinse them before loading them. I think the people who don’t do a thing to their dishes absolutely run their dishwasher once or possibly multiple times/day. We run ours when it’s full which is every 2-3 days. If I didn’t rinse dishes, surely the dishwasher could NOT get all that dried and crusted stuff off the dishwasher. Maybe I am ruining my dishwasher but this is how I was taught by my mom and they didn’t have any issues with their dishwasher! When I wash our pots and pans and the boys silicon plates (which we only have one of for each boy so they get washed daily and sometimes multiple times/day), I leave all of the dishes in the sink to dry. This drives my husband nuts and he swears it caused us to have ants last summer – which I disagree on but you win some, you lose some. So his job is to put everything on the counter to air dry and then one or both of us puts the dishes away.
I am not your recipe twin, though. I am a recipe follower with no modifications. I will sometimes make a slight modification like adding potatoes to a soup and then I note that. But that’s it. I am the person who doesn’t like “salt and pepper to taste” – just tell me how much to add! 😉 I’m super fun and flexible huh?
I do use a washcloth for my face but it’s a make-up removal washcloth designed just for that purpose! I only use it when I’ve worn eye make up as I feel like it does a better job of getting the eye make up off versus just using my hands.
Oh man, that author’s comment about anxiety/depression meds. Ahhhhh. I am very sensitive to beliefs like that since I am on anxiety drugs. I tried to go off them once and it was a disaster. I’ll never try to go off them again just as I wouldn’t try to go off my RA meds. Because I need them! When I first got diagnosed with RA, a lot of well-intentioned people would send me articles about using my diet to manage my RA. Like maybe if I drank tumeric milk and tart cherry juice every day I wouldn’t need all these drugs. IT MADE ME SO MAD. It made me feel like it was my fault and if only I ate differently, I wouldn’t have RA or need meds or something? Like we should seek to fix ourselves? Some things just aren’t fixable and that is why smart scientists designed drugs w/ minimal side effects.
Ok, let me step off my soapbox. Wow I had some THOUGHTS to share. 😉
I am on your side re: ants.
I am CHAOS in the kitchen when it comes to recipes, and MOSTLY it works fine, although sometimes I’ll have a “huh, that was weird” experience.
It also makes me mad about medication. Medication, I don’t know, SAVES LIVES. And even if it doesn’t save lives it helps people live without suffering, and isn’t that the point?
Chiming in from the only running the dishwasher every 2 days front and we do NOT rinse before putting it in there. As long as you’re running hot water (we run the tap to make sure it’s not before we start the dishwasher), the dishwasher gets everything clean! But, hey, you run your kitchen how you run your kitchen!
Engie, your dishwasher must be a Cadillac to my Gremlin because if I do not rinse the stuff off first, my dishwasher must just swirl it around and stick it on another dish and/or does not get the food off. Please provide me with the make and model of your Wunderkind.
Well this was a perfectly delightful post to read and I HAVE THOUGHTS.
First, I cannot imagine something more horrific than using my hands to wash my face. Washing my face is one of my most loathed self-care jobs in the world and splashing water on my face – well, even thinking about that makes me shudder. I hate water on my face so much. Abhor it, really. I use a makeup-remover cloth that never can get sopping wet because of how it’s designed. You just get it damp and wipe off makeup. If I haven’t worn makeup, I don’t wash my face…but I usually do wear makeup these days, so I very grumpily wash my face. Because the cloth is so dry (again designed that way) I don’t have to dry my face. The feeling of water dripping down my face? I’d rather have a root canal, thank you very much. I’m sure my face is ever properly cleansed but it is the most I can muster.
Dishwasher – I mostly handwash pots and pans, plastic things, chefs knives, but will put larger things in depending on time of day and if I want to run a cycle. We run the dishwasher 5-6 times a week. I also scrap/rinse most dishes, but not all. I hate drying dishes and when my husband took a food safety handling course years ago for a job he was told it spreads all sorts of germs around plates. My parents have never owned a dishwasher, so I dry dishes when I go there. Ugh. We have a double sink and I cannot imagine life with a single sink? I rinse off dirty dishes before I wash them in the second sink, and then fill up the extra sink with all the clean dishes, rinsing them all at once before putting them into the drainer which sits on the side of the counter.
I own one recipe book. It was a gift from my sister and it’s full of cookie recipes. That is it. I have a binder with clear protectors where I have all my other recipes. I don’t have a recipe box or any other recipe books. I tend toward minimalism and 1000x prefer to get inspiration off the internet or by asking someone for their recipe if I’ve had a new-to-me dish I loved.
Like Suzanne, I can’t believe you got such great pictures in the middle of washing your face. I keep my eyes glued shut while washing!
OMG I laughed so hard at the “nothing more horrific!” I love that. LOVE THAT. I don’t feel that washcloths are horrific, but I can’t imagine actually USING one, so we are opposites on that front, even if it sounds like we are twinsies when it comes to dishwashing.
Getting the photos was a bit of a risk, I had to be stealthy and quick!
I am firmly in the camp of wash cloths and have a basket of them rolled up because, like you and hand towels, I only use them once. As for dishes, I am of the not rinsing, putting in the dishwasher tribe. Pots and pans get hand washed but I always dry everything right away. I hate having anything on my counters! We would make a great team because I would always rather dry than wash. I love cookbooks and follow them exactly the first time. I think it was Pablo Picasso who said you have to learn the rules before you break them and I follow that wholeheartedly most of the time. As for salads, I know you are Substack reader (thank you for following me!) so I would recommend Emily Nunn’s Department of Salads. Excellent writing and some fantastic salad recipes that are usually pretty simple.
We WOULD make a great team, I kind of like washing dishes but I just CANNOT DRY THEM. Ooooh I am going to go follow that substack RIGHT THIS SECOND.
Nicole, as usual, you have delighted me with your writing! Yes, we want to hear everything, even the small details! Mundane? Never!
I am definitely team washcloth! I like to get it full of warm water, lean over the sink, and press my face into it for a minute. The warm water relaxes my face muscles.
I love my one single big sink, and I put everything I can into the dishwasher, only rinsing if it’s really messy. I enjoyed reading your readers’ responses, and that we can talk about these things with no judgement!
Oooh your face washing sounds very soothing!
This lady who was our house designer was so pro-single-big-sink, but I just could not! I love how different we all are!
First and foremost, I envy your deep sink. Second, I have that soap pump (COSTCO, BABY). So the next time I wash my hands, I’ll think of you.
I used to have a strict dish-washing routine, but I don’t anymore for some reason. I think that I saw a Cascade commercial that said I didn’t need to rinse before putting dishes in. Of course, that’s probably marketing speak designed to persuade me to buy more of their pods.
This is going to be controversial (to steal your line) – I don’t wash my face before bed. If I’m not leaving the house, I usually don’t put on makeup. But even if I do, I still don’t wash my face. I’ve never had a face-washing routine. I might have to incorporate this into one of my random posts.
I feel like you should incorporate it and I want to hear more!!!
Costco is the best for little things like that, although now they don’t have the refills, so I just have to use random soap refills.
Well I once went to a skin specialist medspa place a few years ago and the aesthetician informed me that people who don’t wash their face before bed have skin that ages “8x faster” than those who do. And all I could really think about was, well, I’m screwed (because at that point I did not have much of a face washing routine, either..) and also, HOW exactly did they come up with that statistic?? hahaha. 8x is very precise for something like “aging” which is largely subjective… Regardless, true or not, it kind of spooked me into starting to wash my face (most) nights!
8x faster is a very precise metric indeed! I would love to see the research behind that! Lol!
Lol I just saw your comment. 🤣
I’d be fascinated to learn how they conduct that research. 🤣
I had big single sinks for 22 years living in various apartments (and no garbage disposal) so now that I have a double sink I am annoyed that some of my pots and pans don’t fit in it all the way. I also didn’t really want the garbage disposal but it should be good for resale since most people seem to like them.
Shallow sinks are hard to deal with! Mine is nice and deep, which makes things easier for sure. I am with you on the garbage disposal – no thank you for me!
I mostly use my hands to wash my face, but use a washcloth to kind of blot things off. I too will get the raccoon look and have to go back in and remedy that.
I don’t think I could ever go back to a double sink and I barely rinse stuff before putting it in my dishwasher. I do trust that my DW will get things clean and sanitized, but I don’t add in pots or pans either….nor large bowls that suck up room.
I’m kinda mad about your cookbook. I mean, why make it so hard?? I have some cook books, but never look at them, they’re just nostalgic for me I suppose.
WHY IS THIS COOKBOOK SO WEIRD. I should actually post photos of it just to show how weird and complicated it is. Like, it’s a salad? It should not take fifty steps.
Nicole we are on the same wave length! I also have been pondering all of us, going about our lives, doing basically the same things but differently. I loved this post so very much!
Currently, I am team washcloth – but I used to just use my hands. I can’t explain how or why I just switched one day; I just did.
As it’s just the two of us here these days MOST things go into the dishwasher (who knew having one less person meant more space in the dishwasher?) – but anything with Teflon does NOT go in the dishwasher. Now, if The Husband has made a huge mess in the kitchen when he’s cooking a large meal for guests or whatever, anything large (bowls, pots, pans, etc.) I will wash by hand. I also rinse dishes before they go into the dishwasher.
And, like you, I want a deep, divided sink in the kitchen. One thing I used to wish for in our last house was a white sink. Well that wish is gone – I now have a white sink and I HATE it. Particularly since *someone* (we all know who) can leave it looking like a crime scene.
Gigi, I think this could be a great post for you!
A white sink is one of those things that looks fabulous in a magazine and is SO impractical to deal with! There’s just no wiggle room for it! I can understand your frustration because we used to have a cream-coloured couch and even though it was leather and wipeable, there was always something that made it look not clean.
Wow so funny reading everyone’s response & STRONG feelings on these topics! Like you, I put only plates, bowls, glasses & cutlery in the dishwasher after a quick rinse. I never put plastic in and wash all pots and cooking utensils. With only the 2 of us we run it every 3 days or so. I have a friend who is very OCD – he washes dishes in hot soapy water, rinses them, then puts in the dishwasher. They have an open kitchen and when we go for dinner we just laugh at him! I always wear gloves too because of my nails but also dry hands!
I remove white makeup with reusable/washable cotton pads – I love these with a gentle eye makeup remover because I’ve heard you must be very gentle with that delicate tissue. Not sure it’s working as wrinkles abound. I then use my hands to lather up my my face cleanser and rinse with my hands and water. I’m now worried about using the same towel more than once to dry my face??!! Ps I also love the peeks at your new kitchen & bathroom- just lovely!
Pat, I love how we all have so many feelings about these things! Next up: which is your favourite burner on the stove! I’m kidding but maybe not? I don’t know how people DON’T wear gloves though, because I think my nails would be ruined if I didn’t.
Next week I’ll give a “tour” of the house! Thanks for your kind words!
Nicole, I live on the other side of the world from you, and am fascinated that we wash dishes and treat our dishwashers in EXACTLY the same way.
Washing our faces however… I aspire to be a proper face washer, especially since I saw that thing about trying to remove foundation from an avocado with a face wipe. However I just keep on finding face wipes to be so easy; and then I don’t end up with water dripping down my elbows, and also my preferred brand removes absolutely all of my eye makeup. However I’m sure they are an environmental travesty, so I will keep on trying to make a switch to just washing.
Hi Kate! I’m so glad you commented! I have never been to Australia but would love to go sometime! I am happy to hear we are dish twins.
I know that the Neutrogena wipes here are compostable now, and maybe other brands too, so not such an environmental travesty!
I love posts about the mundane and everyday things! Remember the riveting conversation we had about laundry!? That was great.
Cookbooks: I had about 20 of them and I just did a purge and I am down to three. The Joy of Cooking, the Betty Crocker (I guess I am twins with Engie!) and one I got from Eleven Madison Park which I have never used. Even the other two, I rarely use, but they are classics and I will probably keep them even so. I usually just make up my own recipes these days, or search on the internet if I want something specific.
Face washing: you are probably going to shudder and never speak to me again, but I do not wash my face. Sure if I am in the shower, I let water run on it, and if I have been camping in the woods for 5 days, I do get out a washcloth or wet wipe and get all the sunscreen and bug spray and gunk off of it, but otherwise, on a regular basis, I do nothing.
Dishwasher: I grew up with a double sink and we always rinsed the dishes and set them aside, then filled one sink with hot soapy and the other with hot clean, and then washed in the soapy and rinsed in the clean. Sometimes you would have to drain and refill the clean rinse side. Nowadays I have two sinks but I just run the hot water and wash and rinse at the same time. I hand wash pots or anything big and I have to pretty much wash everything else too before putting it in the dishwasher, so I may as well just wash everything, but I don’t. I run my dishwasher about once a week.
I’m not shuddering but I am amazed! I mean, I could never do that because I wear so much makeup and you strike me as a natural girl. And running the dishwasher once a week! Mind you, I wonder how often I would have to run it if I was solo around here – how long would it take me to run out of dishes? Hmmm…
I eat a lot of stuff out of bowls, even rice and beans, salads, tofu and veggies…the list goes on; I rarely pull out a plate. And I eat breakfast and lunch at work, using the same one bowl for breakfast (washed at work) and then tupperware for lunch. I have a set of six bowls at home and I handwash my pots, so…VOILA! Once a week dishwasher! 🙂 (and yes, I basically only wear mascara a couple of times a week, and a dab of sunscreen face lotion).
Ohhhh this is so interesting! I see!!!
Okay, that cookbook sounds infuriating but also I could not stop laughing and imagining some gleefully sadistic person designing the infinite-regression cookbook, how many times can I make a recipe refer to another recipe before someone sets fire to this book? I tend to fiddle with recipes too, but I’m bad at remembering to write down how I changed them, which is often…unfortunate.
Okay, I put more things in the dishwasher than you, but I am WITH YOU on the clean dishwater. I’m so grateful to you for mentioning this, because I always feel loony or like a princess when I try to do dishes and anyone’s watching.
I don’t use a washcloth in the shower, but I do for my face. I had bad acne as a teenager and then a terrible skin infection in grad school, and the dermatologist said it wasn’t a bad idea to use a facecloth to lightly exfoliate. I use a clean facecloth every night, and I alternate night to night, Dove soap with a whatchamacallit – cleanser with little grits in it. I scrub lightly with a facecloth and then rinse with my hands to get any residue off, and I have to be topless because otherwise I drench myself completely. I have a dedicated face towel that I change every few days.
I have a double sink, and a single would feel weird.
Maybe it WAS some sadistic person, after your francophone post I am curious as to how exactly things go down in Montreal. I should actually post photos because it’s almost funny in its insanity. Like, WHO DOES THAT FOR A SALAD.
St. Ives Apricot Scrub!!!! I remember using that when I was a teenager! I thought the harsh scrubby bits were good for me?
I am somewhat embarrassed to say I don’t wash my face on the regular. But I also don’t wear make-up so maybe that’s okay? Also – my mother used to say that having good skin was the way to win a man, and I think I kind of bristled against that idea – like how superficial!!! But…. on the rare occasion that I do feel the need to wash my face, it *is* with a washcloth. I like to get it nice and hot and steam my face and airways a little.
Oh for a double sink and a dish drying rack!!! Wouldn’t that be wonderful for me. I am fully onboard with your two sink method of washing dishes. When we first moved into our house I thought our deep single sink was pretty great, but now I’m realizing that it is so deep, it makes my back hurt to do dishes what with all the bending over I have to do. I don’t rinse everything before it goes in the dishwasher, but I do scrape. My Husband and I have a deal – he will clean out the hair from the Tub Shroom and I will clean the filter on the dishwasher. Our dishwasher is back and functioning now and it’s strange, but there have been a few times since the return of the dishwasher where, having eaten a meal by myself and used just one bowl and one fork, I’ve thought, “I’ll just wash that by hand… it won’t be so bad.”
As for cookbooks… I love cookbooks. I borrow them from the library by the armloads. Sometimes I think I should buy cookbooks, but then it usually turns out there are only one or two recipes that I would make regularly, so I just copy those and return the book. There are a few – Meera Sodha’s East, Jenny Rosenstrach’s Weekday Vegetarian, come to mind – that I’ve borrowed so many times from the library that I should probably just buy them. That cookbook you’re talking about, though… just sounds annoying. However, your noodle bowl looks delicious!
I never think to get cookbooks from the library, but that is so smart. That way you can just copy down the few recipes you need. I have a ton of cookbooks but use only a handful of recipes from each one at best, and those recipes get so changed that I really don’t need to keep them. I’ve never looked at Weekday Vegetarian but now you have my curiosity piqued. If ever I finally get a library card here I will check that one out.
I thought the St Ives scrub was SO good too!
I am a cookbook addict and love buying them, but I recently went on a declutter binge and gave a bunch away. Only to realize I wanted a recipe from one about two weeks later! I am TEAM HANDS, I never use a face cloth, it takes too much time from an already long nighttime routine. I’ve wondered about the single sink, I think a double is better as well. I loathe anything dish related so washing is generally my husband’s job, and I make my kids dry while I put away everything and clean up the rest of the kitchen. I feel like this is a good system! Note: I won’t be reading that menopause book, it seems like we are now flooded with a ton of menopause information and it’s a little overwhelming!
I mean, I think we can get pretty much all the info we need from the Menopause Manifesto, and this book was absolute crap.
I’m not sure I have ever had a double sink, but now I kind of want one. We have a crappy dishwasher, proven by the dried on food that my daughter found on her bowl the other day. “Someone didn’t rinse it well enough, I guess” was my reply. Sounds judgy, but it wasn’t, because I don’t know WHO used the bowl, could have been any of us.
I’m resentful about having to wash my face, and lately have been eschewing makeup for just this reason. My skin is uneven and my eyelashes very pale, so I do NOT look my best, but at bedtime I am happy. When I wash my face, I either use a reusable washcloth makeup remover thing that my husband bought me, or I use my hands. I cannot STAND bar soap on my body or my face. It feels filmy to me. Likely it is not, but it’s how I feel. Reading these comments from washcloth users, though, I kind of want to try it tonight and see if I love the steamy warm aspect of it. When I wash, I use a makeup remover oil (clinique), and then sometimes a moisturizing face wash, and if I’m not completely angry about the whole ordeal, then a toner and a serum and some moisturizer. I still use St. Ives Apricot scrub, but only in the shower. Is that bad for my skin? I have no idea.
I love cookbooks and I have many, but I don’t use them very often. I am a recipe follower, I don’t have the imagination to switch things up much I guess. When I was younger I used them all the time. Now I have a binder of printouts of recipes I have found online, or I just look for something online. I post recipes on my blog for me, so I won’t lose them.
Have you considered that the person who wrote that salad cookbook may have been high? Just a thought.
Oh, that menopause book sounds horrific. I’m glad you bailed. I am pro whatever you need to feel better. If that is exercise and raw beet juice, go for it. If it’s a prescription that helps your brain settle down and not sabotage you at every turn, go for it.
I did not consider that the author of the cookbook might have been high but YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING HERE!
I am 100% with you on “whatever you need” – we are all so different!
You made me smile so much with how angry you are washing your face! Lol Jules! This gave me a giggle, so thank you!
I really enjoyed reading how you do things; habits are very interesting to me. I use Pinterest for most recipes, I change them up, and then I make a note of changes in the comments. I also rinse dishes before putting in dishwasher so I don’t have to constantly clean out the filter. I also hand wash pots and large dishes for same reason as you.
No washcloth for me. But I use a liquid eye makeup remover first and then use Olay face cleanser similar to how you do it. I DNF about 25% of books I take out from the library. Life’s too short.
Habits are so interesting, aren’t they? I feel the same way about the dishwasher filter. No thanks!
I need to take a page from your book (hahaha) and DNF more, because sometimes I read books just to finish them and it’s not overly worth it.
Well, since you ASKED. I wash my face in the shower using coconut oil and yes, a washcloth. I don’t scrub with it, though. I hold it over my face to steam it and then gently wipe. (If I wore a lot of makeup that day I’d use makeup remover first.)
I wash my dishes by letting my husband do it. His methods would not be my choice, but the dishes get clean and I don’t have to do it so no complaints.
Oh, and I am EXTREMELY pro-two-sinks. If I were designing a new kitchen I would have three! Double sinks by the window for dishes and a single sink in the island for food prep! One sink is UNTHINKABLE to me. How do you wash veggies in a sink full of dirty dishes?!?
Oh, and, I am a night-showerer and that is when I do my face washing. I do not wash my face in the morning except sometimes a splash of cool water if I’m especially sleepy and need the help.
LOLOLOLOL “I wash my dishes by letting my husband do it” – amazing. My kids usually do the after-dinner cleanup and they mostly use my methods since I was the one who taught them, and hey, I don’t complain either way if they are doing it!
The steam method of the washcloth! This is something I have never considered before!
See, that is my thinking too – how does one wash veggies with only one sink? Three sinks, imagine, that would be some kind of luxury!
I am always bummed when I arrive here so late, like I missed the party. This post was far from boring. I agree, it is interesting to learn how other people do the things we all do. When I used to work out in the health club, I saw a woman that I know set up her skin care and hair care products on the counter. She used things I’d never even knew existed. I watched her whole routine and I felt like she was a grown up and I was not. Different is OK, in my book.
I am team hands. I use dove bar soap. The end. I rarely wash my face at night, because I don’t usually wear makeup (see: not really a grown up). If I wear makeup, I use a makeup wipe. I stopped using a washcloth in college, the year I lived In Ireland. My washcloth didn’t dry between uses and it smelled musty. Nope, couldn’t do it.
I put everything and anything in the dishwasher. I have two dishwashers, but usually I only use one. I know some pots and pans survive longer if they are hand washed, but life is short. My dishwasher is top notch and I don’t think it is destroying anything. My job as a kid was ironing my dad’s shirts for work. Guess what I almost never do? Iron.
Recipes for me, are followed to the letter of the law. It’s as if I fear the recipe police will show up and arrest me. I really just live in fear of messing up a recipe and then having a lot of hungry people look at me in horror.
That book reminds me of my in laws making a blanket statement once that parents should not send their kids to therapy, or too many did send their kids to therapy. Like, what? Some medications are essential and aren’t we lucky to live in a time when medications are available to help with so many issues.
I died at: because Maverick. 😉
Oh Ernie, I so agree with you – we are SO lucky to live in a time where things like this are available to us! Medications and therapy are life-savers.
I remembered you had two dishwashers! With a family your size you definitely need them!
I also don’t iron but I also don’t really need to, since no one has clothes that require them. My husband had always sent his shirts to the laundry, and with the advent of those Brooks Brothers wrinkle-free shirts he just washes and dries them now.
I love talking about the mundane minutia of everyday life. After all, that is what makes up most of our days!
1. Cookbooks — I definitely have more than I need and more than I use on a regular basis. That being said, I am generally a recipe follower. I will decrease sugar in baked goods and spices/herbs in meals as I don’t like strong flavors, but otherwise I am not a creative enough cook to stray much from recipes. Also, I avoid recipes with long ingredient lists or complicated instructions, regardless of how good the end result may be. I just can’t spend significantly more time making a meal than it will take to eat it. That salad cookbook? No thanks!
2. Dishes — By hand, every day, day after day. We don’t have a dishwasher and, for most of my life, I haven’t had one. So, I do the majority of dishes for the 5 of us. We’ve had dishwashing schedules at times to divide the work, but don’t right now for various reasons. It’s not my favorite household task, but I don’t hate it either. That being said, if I had a dishwasher, I’d use it and would love it. We have a large single sink and, so, I use an enamel-ware pot for the hot sudsy water for washing and change it out as needed. Rinsing happens right under the faucet. I am looking for a new dish rack and was looking at a nice stainless steel Kitchen Aid one, which looks much like the one you have. Is that the brand you use? Would you recommend it? I need something sturdy and that won’t rust. (Why does anyone make dishracks that rust? They should be able to handle water, right?)
3. Face washing — I don’t wear makeup and presently only use sunscreen on my face, although I have recently bought some The Ordinary products (well recommended here!) and need to shift habits to start using them. I wash my face with a bar of Ivory soap while in the shower in the morning. I appreciate the risk you took by opening your eyes with soap on your face! 😉
Take care. xx.
An enamel ware pot! That’s a smart idea! I do like my dish rack, it is very sturdy and I’ve had it for many years and no rust problems yet. I bought it at Costco a long time ago and it’s probably still available online.
THANK YOU for appreciating the high risk photos!
I like cookbooks and have many, many of them. I like to see them on the counter, like friends encouraging me to try something new.
We use our dishwasher, a Bosch, that supposedly uses less water than washing dishes by hand. I dunno, maybe?
We use the same facial cleanser. I use my hands with it. I feel like we’re kindred spirits of the clean face.
Ally, I have heard that about certain dishwashers! It could be true, I have no idea!
I am trying to cook more new dishes, and maybe if I look at my cookbooks as friends who are being encouraging, that will help!
Hi! I’m a fairly new reader- found you through another blog (can’t remember which one). I actually also live in Kelowna- welcome to town!
I enjoyed this post and agree with you on all these things; double sink is essential, I rinse all my dishes and hand wash a lot, I have always washed my face with my hands (and am religious about a good face wash every night), I also change most recipes but love cookbooks, I find reading them soothing and it does inspire me to cook! I echo the recommendation to get cookbooks from the library as I find such a great idea, I do this regularly and copy the recipes I want to keep (on that note- I hope you can get a card for our library sorted out soon!)
Hi!!! A fellow Kelowna resident! How exciting!
I’m hoping to get the library card thing sorted out very soon. I have just never thought of getting cookbooks at the library but it’s absolutely brilliant! I do love looking at photos of food, but when it comes to the actual recipes, I use so few in a cookbook and the library is a brilliant solution!
Thanks for commenting, I’m so excited to know that I have a Kelowna reader!
Team Face Scrubby from Amazon! They are like little loofas for face-plus hands. Dishes: dishwasher everyday but handwash pots and pans. I do agree that they are wayyyy too big for the dishwasher. We do not own a single cookbook. We get recipes from the Internet but rarely- we just stick to tried and true recipes that have been memorized over the years.
Well, Daria, with small children it’s hard to branch out with recipes – or, at least that was true in my case – because it’s good to know the tried and true will be eaten by the little ones! I am intrigued by your scrubby! I haven’t seen one before.
I love talking about mundane details like this!
Cookbooks: I don’t own a single cookbook! I prefer to get my recipes from the Internet for some reason. And I do NOT make changes to recipes. I am not a very confident chef so making substitutions or doing my own thing never ends well for me, so I need the person who made the recipe to tell me what to do. Ha!
Dishwashing: I never, ever use my dishwasher. I just don’t dirty enough dishes to justify it, and it would take me forever to fill up my dishwasher for a full load. I would likely run out of dishes before then! So I do everything by hand. I also love a dual sink, so one side is for washing and the other side holds my drying rack.
Face washing: I cannot BELIEVE you use your hands to wash your face like one of those people in a Neutrogena ad. I always thought that was just for show! I am amazed!! I feel like I would get water everywhere, haha. I have very soft washcloths and it’s actually my favorite thing to rub a warm washcloth over my face. Like hot-towel therapy or something!
Stephany, I read somewhere (maybe Suzanne’s blog comments?) that the “water everywhere” thing is highly dependent on the height of the person relative to the height of the sink. I’m fairly tall and my sink is at waist height, so it’s pretty easy for me to bend over to wash without getting water everywhere. That said, of course there are drips and splashes, but nothing disastrous.
I mentioned to Kyria above that I wondered how long it would take for a solo person to run out of dishes versus getting a full dishwasher. I think if it was just me I’d run out of glasses/ room in the top of the dishwasher fairly quickly.
Dual sinks forever!
I shall confess here to a cardinal sin: at night I use micellar water to cleanse and that’s it (unless I’m taking a nighttime shower, because the only place I wash my face with cleanser is in the shower, because I LOATHE the feeling of water dripping down my arms.)
Also your bathroom is gorgeous.
Thank you!
I don’t think that’s TOO much of a cardinal sin, Erin! I haven’t had the water dripping down my arms problem BUT I am fairly tall and so I can lean way over my sink, which I think makes a difference.
Cookbooks: I have them. But I rarely use them. I mostly google recipes (or find them on blogs) and then adapt them. Haha. I am like you, I rarely take a recipe and cook it according to instructions. Where’s the fun in that? 😉
Dishwashing: luckily, my husband does ALL of the dishwashing and I am not mad about it. I usually put the dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter and he cleans it all up. (I will rinse stuff if it’s really dirty though). I think he does the same before putting stuff in the dishwasher (which we run about every other day or so).
Face washing: I am so happy to hear there is someone else who uses their hands! I do too. I don’t see the problem of using your hands and wash cloths seem… wasteful? I don’t know. But I will also confess: I have a face towel that I use over and over (I use it for about 5-7 days, before I get a new one). Since it touches only my clean face, I don’t see the need to change it more often.
The boys do a big chunk of the kitchen cleanup and they do it the way I do it, because I taught them – so that’s nice! But of course, when you bake and cook as much as I do, you end up doing a lot of dishes anyway!
Wow, so many comments! Who would have thought these were such controversial topics! I am the same as you in regards to the dishwasher, as a family of 4 we only run it every other day. I’m not about to put a cast iron skillet or sharp chef’s knife into a dishwasher! I’m also glad that I am not the only commenter to admit that I do not wash my face. I mean, I do in the shower, but nightly I put some witch hazel on a cotton pad, swipe it around, and that’s it. (But I don’t wear makeup, so there’s none of that to deal with.)
I love looking at cookbooks, but as I rarely cook, I just look 🙂
That made me laugh, Sarah! Cookbooks ARE pretty to look at! I am exploring all the hot button topics!
Nicole, thank you for prompting me to reduce my cookbook “collection”. I’m down to about 5 and will only keep the ones that are collections of handwritten recipes. I have two Mark Bittman books that have never been used, and a Runners World one that has never been used, either. I go to the internet. Or your IG feed or blog. Or Birchie’s. 🙂
I take 2 showers a day (yes, I know, but they’re super-short) and wash my face ONLY in the shower. I hate washing my face at a sink, and I admire your fortitude in not only doing so, but in *using your hands*. The feeling of water dripping down my arms… *shudder*.
Thanks for bringing up so many controversial topics in one post – this was fun to read. 🙂
When it’s summer and I’m outside a lot, covered with sunscreen and bug spray, I also will take two showers! I don’t like going to bed feeling sticky.
