Until I saw your city lights, honey I was blind.

Posted on January 31, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

I tend to avoid bragging about my kids; not that they are not braggable, but because I think it’s bad form. However, this all changes now. I am here to tell you that their knowledge of Elton John lyrics is second only to my own, which is to say, excellent. In point of fact, their knowledge was close to besting mine, as there was some involved discussion whether or not the line was I miss the earth so much, I miss my wife or life. It turns out that we were both right, as the line is “life” in the movie, but “wife” in the OG version, as the kids say.

I realized their lyrical knowledge had skyrocketed from Fine to Astonishing when we watched Rocketman on Saturday night. It was so much fun to watch with them; the three of us singing heartily throughout the movie. I’m not sure if my husband, the lone non-singer, found it quite as charming, but whatever. I can’t wait to watch Bohemian Rhapsody with them: I see a little silhouette-a of a man…

The sole issue from our fun singsong party-of-three is that I have had Honky Cat stuck in my head, on a loop, ever since. If I was to list my top ten Elton John songs, Honky Cat would not make the list. I don’t even think it would be in my top TWENTY. But here I am, nearly a week later, singing snippets of it all the livelong day. Get back, Honky Cat, better get back to the woods…at what point do I declare myself insane? Soon, I think. Living in the city ain’t where it’s at…

While I’m bragging, on Monday two unprecedented things happen. Now, before I go into those things, I will say that my boys are very helpful around the house; they have set chores and those chores are always done, they always are willing – usually cheerfully – to help out with any household/ yard/ snow shoveling task when asked, they keep the house and all the areas they inhabit in the house very tidy and clean. However, and I know every woman out there can relate to this, they often don’t See Things That Need To Be Done The Way I See Those Things, and I could get into a whole thing about Emotional Labour but I will not. Anyway, two things on Monday happened that have made me singing Looks Like We’ve Made It, interspersed with, of course, Honky Cat. I quit those days and my redneck ways…

Monday morning I was writing at my desk and I could hear the clanking of dishes and silverware from the kitchen (YES IT IS WEEK THREE OF EXAM BREAK, LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN). When I finished what I was doing, I realized that my older son (EXAM BREAK OMGGGG) had eaten his breakfast, realized that the dishwasher was finished its cycle, UNLOADED THE DISHWASHER and then PUT HIS OWN DISHES INTO IT. Yes, of course my kids always put their dishes in the dishwasher when they are finished with them, they are not barbarians, but to unload the dishwasher without being asked? UNPRECEDENTED.

Later, that very same day, my younger son changed the roll of toilet paper; this is nothing new, the guys always do this, it is unremarkable in and of itself. But he took the empty roll out of the bathroom and put it in the recycle bin, rather than leave it on the countertop in the bathroom. Also unprecedented! And just as astonishing!

So I am bragging about my wunderkinds; even if neither of those things ever happen again, well, we will always have Paris, so to speak.

Thank you all for your comments regarding gel pedicures; especial thank-you goes out to Samantha (HI SAMANTHA) for her comment about gel polish being bad for the nails. Long time readers will remember the time I got a manicure when I was stuck at the car dealership for many, many hours. That was a gel manicure and a few weeks after getting it, the polish peeled off, leaving my nails thin and weak. It took a long time for my nails to get back to normal; thank you, Samantha, for reminding me of this. I ended up cancelling my pedicure; I considered taking in my own polish, but that felt weird and overly controlling. I also considered getting no polish, but, to be honest, my feet are not, as my friend Taryn (HI TARYN) says, “manky,” so it felt like a waste of money just to get them soaked and scrubbed, which I can do at home. I figure I can Support Local Business in other ways. For example, waxing. A hirsute girl such as myself can well keep a business going.

Non-manky but Reynaud’s purple.

Oooh, maybe the next Favourite Things will be all about foot products. Sorry to keep you all on the edge of your seat! But you will have to wait.

I cannot believe tomorrow is February, this is the fastest moving January in all history, or at least in all of MY history. There are a few really good things I want to tell you about, to round the month off.

Sweater Discovery

I was rearranging the top shelf of my closet, where I keep things my gym sweatshirts and lesser-worn but much-loved items such as sweater dresses. Behold, underneath my pile of sweater dresses was this sweater:

It has pockets!

This is a significant discovery – the sweater, not the pockets – not only because I’ve had this sweater for many years and love it, but I completely forgot about its existence. When did I last wear it? Who knows! I LITERALLY forgot that I owned it. It was like finding something brand-new, although this sweater is the opposite of brand-new. What an exciting discovery. The very fact that I found something that a) I haven’t worn in years, and b) I love, made me think, once again, that my Sweater Situation is Ample.

Maybe I’ll do a February Challenge! Maybe I’ll try to wear a different outfit for each day in February, sweater-wise, at least. February is a short month, I should be able to do that. Obviously there will be some repeats in the form of jeans or black yoga pants – I have a number of those, too, but not enough to get me through the month without re-wearing.

Cilantro

I gave my little herb garden a break for a month or so, when I discovered fruit flies (fruit flies! In November!) that were infesting my cilantro. Or maybe they were aphids? I don’t know, but I did not want to eat infested cilantro. I don’t think that’s vegetarian. Also, gross. As you know, I cannot – CANNOT – go back to grocery store cilantro, so I have been doing without. I decided all was fine now, bug wise, so I planted some cilantro seeds, but it was just before the extreme cold snap. Even with the grow lights, it was too cold for the seeds to really sprout. Well, happily they are sprouted now and I am only a couple of weeks away from harvest. I can’t wait! The pleasure will be all the greater for the waiting, as old-timey suitors might have said about a reticent lady friend who finally agreed to an engagement.

Winter Fashion

It’s been so mild that on three occasions in the past ten days, I’ve worn my cute, stylish, flattering, lightweight winter coat. Don’t worry! I haven’t put away my sleeping-bag-with-sleeves, and in fact, I’m wearing it more often than not, but I have felt like a Winter Fashion Plate on those three occasions. I have paired my coat with a big blanket scarf and my tall, lace-up-but-with-a-zipper-on-the-side boots, and have felt like a Very Fancy Lady, one who lives in a much less harsh climate, who can look forward to “winter.” Or maybe one of those high class ladies down in New Orleans…

Photos courtesy of my older son who – have I mentioned this already? – has had NO CLASSES FOR THREE WEEKS THREE WEEKS PEOPLE. Cue up:

It’s like trying to drink whiskey from a bottle of wine…

It’s Friday, people! Let’s drink wine from a bottle of wine (or whiskey, I won’t judge) and enjoy the weekend. xo

Happy Thoughts and Pedicure Stress

Posted on January 27, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

January is usually such a drawn-out drag of a month; I don’t know WHAT is going on, but this January is just flying by. I mean, it is the LAST WEEK OF JANUARY and it feels like I only just put up my puppy wall calendar, admiring the photo of the cute golden retriever puppy with a stick in his mouth. In just a few short days there will be a new puppy to look at and I cannot believe it. Could it be because since the polar vortex broke, it’s been beautifully pleasant outside? Could it be the bizarre three weeks of no classes my older son has been experiencing, for his alleged Exam Break? Could it be my busy new schedule of classes that makes the week speed by? Who can say?

I’m currently reading a historical fiction book about Zelda Fitzgerald, and I have been thinking about all the Women Who Have Come Before Us. Sometimes, when I think I’m having a bad day, I think of my grandmother who was widowed with six children under the age of 12, with literally no money at all. I think of her working at night so that the older boys would be home with the toddler twin girls, I think of her taking in boarders to make ends meet, I think of her walking a two mile round trip to milk her neighbour’s cow so that the girls could have milk. I have a wonderful life, full stop, no caveat necessary. Yes, life in this day and age has its peculiar challenges, but really. Really.

All of which is to segue into something that is bizarrely giving me a low-level anxious feeling, and it is the most Princess Problem of all Princess Problems. It’s right up there with my tiara is slightly too tight and this diamond ring is too heavy for my finger. Here is the issue, if we can even call it an issue: I have a pedicure booked for this Saturday. I am a person who does her own pedicures, with the exception of my annual Mother’s Day treat when my mom and I go to a fancy spa to get one done. I keep my toenails polished and my feet pumice-d and lotion-ed. My feet are on display almost every day because of my job, and so I like to keep them looking nice. Well, that’s not entirely true, the job really doesn’t have much to do with it. I’ve always kept my feet looking nice; it’s like wearing pretty underwear, even if I am the only person who knows about it, it gives me a boost.

So back to the Princess Problem. There is a cute little day spa that opened up in my neighbourhood, and I have fully switched from my usual place where I get waxes to this new place. This spa charges half the amount the other one did for a wax, the job is just as good, and I can walk there in five minutes. I really like the esthetician who does my waxes, and I impulsively booked a pedicure with her, even though I a) do my own and b) it isn’t Mother’s Day.

At this point you are probably wondering where I’m going with this. What is the big deal? Well, the thing that is causing me low-level anxiety is that the new cute day spa only does gel pedicures, and I normally get regular polish.

Who even cares, you might be thinking, but the thing is I’ve never had a gel pedicure and I don’t know what I will do if a) the polish chips or b) how to even remove the polish if it starts to grow out and look weird. I’ve seen ladies get gel polish removed at the spa and it seems like such an ordeal: toes wrapped in foil, some kind of buffing tool, etc. Now that I’m writing it down, it looks like possibly the stupidest blog topic ever, and that includes the time I wrote about buying the wrong scent of bathroom cleanser.

Well. I guess I’m worried that it will chip and I won’t be able to fix it on my own and I will have figuratively thrown money out the window. Even though the price of the pedicure is 52% of the price of a pedicure at the fancy spa, it’s still money being spent on something completely frivolous and will it be wasted due to a polish chip? I guess we will wait and see. I’m also worried I’m going to love it so much that I will be one of those people who stops doing her own pedicures and becomes addicted to having them done and then I will be wasting money left, right, and centre.

I COULD just call and cancel, I guess, but I’m in a Support Local Business Mode and I do, I really DO want to be that kind of person that Supports Local Businesses. Plus, as I said, I like the esthetician on a personal level, and well. I have probably spent more than enough brain power thinking about this. Moving on!

What if they don’t have the kind of red I like for…NO, I AM MOVING ON FROM THIS TOPIC.

This morning Swistle asked her readers what they think of when they wake up in the middle of the night; good things, soothing things. If you are not a person who is experiencing peri-menopause and you sleep solidly through the night, congratulations and I am envious! I think most women of my age have some sort of sleep interruption, and usually when I find myself awake I try to focus on my breathing (INHALE….EXHALE….) but I also remember something I read that even just lying in bed is resting my body. Instead of looking at the clock and frantically thinking If I fell asleep this minute I would still get five and a half hours of sleep…okay now it’s five hours and twenty-nine minutes, I think Even if I don’t fall asleep, my body is resting. My body is getting rest. I find that soothing enough that I usually do drift off.

Most days I find myself awake a good half hour before I need/ want to be, and we all know that the worst thing is falling dead asleep just before your alarm goes off, rendering you disoriented and useless. So when I do find myself awake, I think happy things about the day ahead (not, apparently, about pedicures). The happy things I focus on are: what I’m making for dinner that night, according to my Unchanging Eating a Rainbow Meal Plan (tonight: pasta and cauliflower!), what dessert I am going to make for upcoming Sunday dinner, what class(es) I am teaching that day and which students will be there (Yay, I get to see the seniors! Yay, we are working on lower backs!), and, if it is a Planned Workout Day, what that workout will be. If I find myself awake near a weekend, I think about what wine I will have on Friday and Saturday, and I will think about any plans we might have. It all helps to keep me from falling disastrously back asleep and gets me excited about the day ahead.

Oh, that reminds me! My Saturday morning spin class fell on Robbie Burns Day, which inspired our instructor to add BAGPIPE MUSIC to our warmup. It was strangely invigorating. Also included in the class playlist was The Pointer Sisters, Neil Young, Bruno Mars, and – even more invigorating than the bagpipe music – a dance remix of many classical songs, including Ode to Joy and the Hallelujah chorus from Handel. I do like a good eclectic playlist, but my own will have to wait for another day. I need to go start the pasta sauce (it’s Monday!) before I go teach my afternoon class (backbends!). Happy Last Week of January, everyone. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Keeping Warm Edition

Posted on January 20, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

Today is Blue Monday, the statistically saddest day of the year, and yet I am feeling excited and invigorated. The extreme cold weather has broken, and the ten day forecast calls for what I think of as Very Pleasant Winter Weather. Mall walking is fun and all, but I like to actually be able to take my dog out, and to not feel that “my face is dead” feeling that one gets when one is outside for more than ten seconds. This is not an exaggeration, for those of you who have never experienced such temperatures. I have a personal ranking system for winter temperatures: up to minus 10, Pleasant Winter Weather, the minus teens are Still Functioning But I Don’t Like This, minus 20-25 is This Is Bad, minus 25-30 is Everything Is Terrible, and lower than minus 30? Why God Why.

Anyway, as I said everything is lovely right now, and today I noticed for the first time that mornings are getting lighter. I tend to notice longer days in the afternoon right away after Winter Solstice, but I find the mornings take a while. Winter sunrises are so glorious, and are probably the best thing about the extreme cold: the sunrises seem to be more beautiful, the more frigid it is. I am always – even in summer – up before the sunrise, so I consider myself somewhat of an authority on this.

We still have a lot more winter to go, even if it is a pleasant week, and so it is time for…

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Keeping Warm Edition

My Cozy Buns

I encountered My Cozy Buns at a holiday market, and it is such a fabulous idea I have been sharing it with everyone I know. A local woman repurposes old sweaters by making them into “bum warmers,” a skirt of sorts that fits perfectly over yoga pants, leggings, or even just pants. Not only are they environmentally friendly – textiles being a huge problem in landfills, etc., etc. – they make a significant difference in warmth. When I walk the dog, I wear legwarmers and my calf-length coat and thick boots, but I had no idea how much warmer I would be with my bum warmer. Plus, LOOK HOW CUTE!

Cute and practical, such an elusive combination when it comes to winter wear.

Poor Barks, dying to go for a walk. Alas! Minus 30 is too cold for arthritic old dogs.

The bum warmers can also come with matching mittens, made from the sweaters’ sleeves.

Legwarmers

I talk about legwarmers every year, I know, but they make such a significant difference to me, a person who wears yoga pants most days. I won’t walk the dog without legwarmers, and my mother-in-law has knit me several pairs for that purpose. They are not the most attractive, by any means, but winter is the time of the year where practicality always prevails over prettiness. Unless we are talking about bum warmers.

I teach two classes a week at a community centre, and believe me when I say that the linoleum floor is like ice, even in the warmer months. When it drops below a certain temperature outside, the floor is unbearable. I bought these legwarmers with stirrups at lululemon several years ago, and they are perfect suited to this situation. Toes and heels are unfettered, so I’m not sliding all over as I teach, but the extra layer keeps me warm.

These cuties also came from My Cozy Buns; they were sleeves, I think. They are a little shorter so not as warm as the others, but still a nice layer for just kicking around the house in.

Giant Socks

Still with the “keeping my legs covered” theme, I love these “Savasana Socks” from lululemon. I have several pair of thigh-high socks for pulling over my yoga pants, but these ones have grips on the bottom, like you might see on socks for small children. You can never have too many giant socks, in my mind. Plus, they are kind of cute, warm without being too bulky.

Long Sweaters

I’m sure this particular sweater has made it into Favourite Things before – oh look, it has – but it’s nice to have a socially acceptable way to essentially wear a bathrobe in public.

I’m wrapping myself up in my cardigans of cozyness. I have a number of – mostly black – very thick sweaters that make their appearance when the temperature drops below Winter Is Cold, Everything Is Fine to Are We Living On Planet Hoth.

Baffin Boots

Last year my wonderful, warmest boots got accidentally stolen. Someone must have had the same boots as I, as one day when I went to grab my boots at a studio, I noticed they were in a different space than I normally put them. Then I noticed that I couldn’t fit my feet in comfortably. Then I noticed a small hole at the top of the boot and realized these are not my boots. It happens, sometimes, I guess. I was left with a pair of boots that to the naked eye looked exactly like my boots, but they were a half size smaller. I kept hoping that my old boots would show up, but I guess the person who took them figured their feet had shrunk, or maybe, they didn’t notice they were half a size larger. I suppose I can understand, but I got the (literal) short end of things, as wearing boots slightly too big is possible, but slightly too small? No. Long story short: I had to buy new boots.

Blessings in disguise, am I right? Because the boots I ended up buying claimed to be warm up to minus 40. Minus 40! I was extremely skeptical but I thought, fine. I’ll try them. Let me tell you, people, these boots are life changing. They are warm, yet light, unlike my old Joan of Arctic Sorels that feel like I’m wearing 1980s style ankle weights. They are comfortable too – at Christmas my husband and I took an 8 kilometer walk in the snow, in minus 15, and my feet were warm the whole time. For someone with Raynaud’s, this is unheard of. Sure, they are not the most attractive, but they are not the most unattractive either. They were a bit pricey but I don’t think footwear is where we want to pinch pennies.

And there we have it, my favourite things that are helping me get through the winter. What are yours?

It’s tiny cauliflower season

Posted on January 15, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

The day after – literally, the VERY NEXT DAY – I posted about misreading Gental Fitness as Genital Fitness, the sign was changed. I was driving my son to school and exclaimed that the sign now read Gentle Fitness, to which he expressed relief that I would no longer be alluding to elderly men doing something mysterious to strengthen their genitals. Are the people at the fitness centre reading my blog? Or did someone show up at the fitness centre hoping to alleviate incontinence, only to be introduced to aquasize and low-impact aerobics? We may never know the answer.

Oh, you guys, it is SO COLD around here; dropping the kids off at school, my car reads minus 30, and that is without windchill. “It feels like minus 39!” the weather person on the radio said. This should never be a surprise in January, and it isn’t, not really, but it’s quite dreadful. I always think I should re-read The Long Winter at this point in our own winter journey because it SHOULD make me more grateful and thankful to be living in the modern age. I mean, what do I have to complain about, really? That it’s difficult to walk the dog? I have a beautiful, warm, cozy home, I have many warm items of clothing, I have a garage so my car doesn’t freeze. I’m not snowed into some isolated town waiting for the trains to come in with food and supplies and – spoiler alert – those trains never arrive. Sure, my hands hurt, but am I sitting in my dark lean-to in below-freezing temperatures trying to frantically twist hay into little sticks just so I don’t literally freeze to death? Am I grinding seed wheat in an old coffee grinder in the hopes that I will stave off starvation, literal starvation? Am I spiraling into madness because I have been stuck in a tiny dark house for months with nothing to listen to but the howling wind outside? No I am not. My biggest issue is that there was no cauliflower at Superstore.

It’s tiny crappy expensive cauliflower season, which isn’t my favourite but which illuminates something about myself and that is that I cannot – or will not – go without cauliflower for a week. There’s a limit to how much I will pay, because there is always a limit, it is not infinite, but I am willing to pay some pretty high prices for pretty tiny cauliflowers. My demand curve is, shall we say, price inelastic. Am I an addict? Do I have a problem? Probably. There are worse things to spend money on, in my humble opinion.

It is exam time at the high school, and so after one full week back at school my older son now has three weeks off. Well, he has a couple of exams to write in that time period, but really. Three weeks! He doesn’t go back to class until February 3, making my younger son insane with envy. He will get to experience this excessive time off next year, as Thursday is his high school orientation day. Two kids in high school! The children, they get older. I’m getting older too.

Speaking of getting older, ladies, lean in. The perimenopause thing? A couple of years ago I asked my mom when she stopped getting periods, as that is the number one indicator as to when it would stop for me. When she replied I couldn’t believe my ears – it indicated another full decade of these ridiculous symptoms. Well, what can you do. The symptom I am finding the most difficult to deal with is breast swelling and tenderness.

“Tenderness.” That seems like a bit of an understatement. It used to be a day before my period my breasts would be slightly sore. Now it’s a week to ten days of my entire chest hurting and my breasts swelling to my pre-kid glory. Even if I do manage to fulfill my New Year’s Resolution of buying a new bra, I’m going to have to hang on to these old ones just for premenstrual comfort. It’s silly, really, my cleavage goes from “bra is gaping around my deflated breasts” to “spilling out of my bra like an old-timey centrefold.” The other day my husband’s eyes bugged out when he walked in on me getting dressed; it probably gave him flashbacks to when we first met.

I for one do not want to relive my Glory Days, the sheer relief I feel when I actually get my period and my yoga tanks go back to fitting properly and I don’t feel like my sports bras are actively trying to kill me softly with their song is immense.

This too shall pass; there will be a time after this.

I had my hair appointment on Friday so once again I feel relatively youthful, at least for another few weeks until the roots start coming in. Life is a roller coaster, I swear. I had a roller coaster emotion as I gazed into my Daylight 10x Magnifying Mirror, and noticed that one of those black chin hairs has turned…white. You know those chin hairs, the ones that are nonexistent in the morning but somehow are an inch long by evening. I’m mixed on this development because a white chin hair is infinitely less noticeable than a black one, and yet. I have also noticed white hairs in my eyebrows, which, I do not know what to do about it. If I start plucking them out will I eventually be bald above my eyes? Do I start using an eyebrow pencil? I just don’t know.

Anyway. It is going to be an odd few weeks; my schedule is exactly the same, or a bit busier as I’ve scheduled some appointments for my older son in during this time. One child at school, one child at home save for the three exams…as I write this I am listening to some amped-up electric guitar as someone is taking a study break. Everything feels a bit unsettled. This week has been too cold to even walk the dog; poor puppers hasn’t had any exercise since Saturday. Since I’m having my ladies’ holidays, AND it’s insanely cold, I’m doing restorative yoga in the early mornings instead of going into the studio. This would be lovely except that I keep forgetting to leave the dog in his crate until after I’m done, which means that he thinks I’m dead or injured, and need to be roused.

With the cold, I wondered how I was going to get my steps in, on non-exercise days. Yes I am a slave to my Garmin watch, what of it? Monday I had to run an errand – at the mall – and noted all the elderly and also moms with strollers, desperate to get out of the house. Hmmm…they are on to something. Yes, I lapped the mall a couple of times before making my purchase, which feels like it goes nicely with the white chin hair. Hey, it was an extra 5000 steps, that was worth it.

That was startling

Posted on January 8, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

My husband, with no effort whatsoever, lost four pounds over the Christmas holidays. I feel I could close out this post without saying anything else. It’s like one of those one-line stories; an entire story captured in just a sentence. Men, am I right? But the real issue here is that our household is apparently a zero-sum game as I gained that same amount over that same time period. One cannot expect two weeks of unbridled culinary hedonism without some consequences, however, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a man.

Add that to the fact that, while shopping for protein powder, the salesman asked if I was fifty-plus. On the one hand, there are many whose lives were cut short, who would love to be fifty-plus. Life is a gift, every damn day is a gift, we must celebrate each year that we are on this planet. On the other hand, I’m forty-four.

In his possible defense, I was at the end of my hair colour cycle and with each passing month the contrast between my now-almost-white roots and the rest of my hair is more and more pronounced. See?

It’s even more pronounced because today my hair appointment got rescheduled to Friday; I was torn between feeling, well, GREY, and also feeling excitement at having a couple of unexpectedly unscheduled hours. Unfortunately, a lot of that happily unexpected free time ended up getting consumed by the discovery that our scanners have mysteriously stopped working, right in the middle of my paperwork for insurance renewal.

My friend Janet (HI JANET) was telling me that at her Hollywood peak, Marilyn Monroe had her roots touched up weekly. WEEKLY. Imagine having the resources to do that. Imagine having the TIME.

As it is, I spent the first part of Monday morning at the orthodontist’s office, where I thought we were going to be able to book the braces-coming-off appointment but were instead told that it could be a few more months. It felt, very much, like a January piece of news. I had been holding off booking a dental cleaning for my son with the thought that he would be braces-free very soon, but alas. After the orthodontist I spent a solid 45 minutes on the phone booking various dentist and doctor appointments for both boys, trying to juggle my own schedule with their schedule with the doctor/ dentist schedule, and let me tell you, after that I thought a little bit about day-drinking. Only a little bit though. It was like my old linear programming days, where if you added too many parameters and restrictions prior to solving for x, you would end up with no feasible solution.

Back in those days, the computer programs took forever to run, and it would feel so disheartening to do so much work and wait so long – the computer would often time out or die while calculating – to get the response no feasible solution. The first full week of January feels similar, not to mention that the really cold weather has arrived. The weekend lows are in the minus 30s and the highs in the minus 20s; just going out to get groceries or to take the kids to school feels like an epic feat of strength. I’m living in my legwarmers and layers, and it takes a great deal of willpower to get undressed and then into the shower, and then great willpower to get OUT of the shower, and even more willpower to just put clothes on afterwards. That’s a lot of mental energy and willpower, considering that doesn’t take into account leaving the house.

I am trying not to be too bitchy about the cold weather; this is where I live, cold weather is part of life, let’s just move on. However, my Raynaud’s is in full-blown weirdness; I was driving home from class – with gloves on, of course – and by the time I got home this is what my left hand looked like.

That finger still hurts, and it brings to mind what my doctor said, that the only real cure for this is to live in a warmer climate. Maui? Where my fellow Renaud’s sufferers at?

Well. There are many lovely things about January. Be present, cherish the moment, I chant to myself, over and over like I’m institutionalized a la One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Not out loud, though. Speaking of this, something I really dislike about our society today is the ubiquitous Bluetooth. I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have heard someone speaking, and, thinking they were addressing me, I turn to answer only to discover they are talking on their Bluetooth. It startles me EVERY TIME. I was mentioning this to one of my seniors and he said that he has a different perspective. When he hears someone ostensibly talking on Bluetooth, he avoids eye contact in a stay away from the crazy person kind of way. I mean, I probably shouldn’t judge as I am a person who sings out loud in the grocery store. Perhaps that’s why people avoid eye contact with me? Just kidding, I have yet to notice people avoiding my gaze as I ask them random questions as regards the items in their cart/ how old their baby is/ have they ever tried this before?

SPEAKING of that, I have been meaning to mention these “kalettes” I found at Costco a few months ago.

There were several of us women milling around the display in the giant refrigerator, all of us asking each other if anyone had tried them? And if they were good? No one had so I volunteered as tribute and grabbed a package. Later, in the lineup, a woman asked me about it. Well, for all of you wondering, THESE ARE DELICIOUS. I have bought them every time I have been to Costco ever since; they are glorious roasted with olive oil and balsamic. I’ve also made them with nutritional yeast, which was also good.

They don’t LOOK that appetizing, but believe me. BELIEVE ME THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

Circling back slightly to Things That Startle Me Constantly, there is a sign in my neighbourhood for a fitness centre that offers Gentle Fitness. The only thing is, Gentle is misspelled; the sign actually reads Gental Fitness. Every Single Time I drive past it, I am startled anew at the idea of Genital Fitness. I mean, what is that? Kegels? Pelvic Floor Exercises? Something Else I Am Not Aware Of And Probably Don’t Want To Be? All that goes through my head within a second, and then I remember, oh. They mean GENTLE.

2020 Vision (I know, I know, but I had to)

Posted on January 3, 2020 by Nicole Boyhouse

Happy New Year! As I write this, I’m still in my pajamas with a big cup of coffee; I’ve been spending the last (almost) two weeks sleeping late, reading, and watching movies. It’s been a very chill kind of holiday break and while I’m not EXACTLY feeling ready to get back to work and routine, well. There’s no stopping time.

Speaking of which, I came across this article, which I suggest you go and read in its entirety if you really want your mind blown, but here is a screenshot of the part that made me set down my coffee cup and stare off into the distance:

THE WONDER YEARS, YOU GUYS. I remember watching that with my friend Elise (HI ELISE) and we would talk about those long-ago hippie days. Long ago like, for example, when Bey burst on the scene or when we all got a Facebook account and poked each other.

Well! Let’s look forward to the new year. I did finally take down the decorations on the 31st, and most of all the outdoor ones are down as well (it’s a long process). The house is clean but seems awfully bare. A bit depressing but it cannot be Christmas all year, can it? January is the time for reflections, renewal, and resolutions. I know many of you balk at the ideas, but don’t get me wrong: I think we are all wonderful just the way we are. However, given the chance for self-improvement, I am going to take it.

I was talking to my younger son about resolutions, and he said “But my resolutions are never done! Because I just always want to keep on improving.” Which, yes. Exactly.

Being Mindful, Being Present

This has been an ongoing resolution for years, and I think it probably will be forever. I mean, none of us suddenly achieve samadhi. Life is a journey and mindfulness is also a journey. I want to really work on being present for everyone in my life, and taking the time to just mindfully enjoy the moment. Here I am, walking the dog, enjoying the blue sky and my fuzzy baby. Here I am, in the Costco lineup, looking at what other people have in their carts. Here I am, folding laundry…okay, it will be easier in some circumstances than others. But I will channel my inner Mary Oliver: “Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

I read somewhere – where was it? – that in conversation, people don’t really LISTEN, they are too busy thinking about what they themselves are going to say next. I want to really focus on listening.

Mindful Shopping

Ever since Kondo-ing my house long ago, and my one-year shopping challenge, I have been pretty good about really thinking about things I bring into the house, whether they be clothes, food, or toiletries. This is an ongoing thing, because it can be easy to overbuy things that are really not needed. In thirty days leading up to Boxing Day, I recorded my outfits and I only re-wore one sweater. ONE. And then I received a few sweaters for Christmas…what I’m saying is I maybe don’t need to buy any new sweaters for a while. I keep several lists of things needed to run a household – food, mostly, but also important things like soap, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, etc. – because otherwise I tend to stock up way too much. I think that mindfully buying things that are needed/ badly wanted, rather than randomly shopping, is a good way to live, both from an ecological point of view, and an economic one. However…

Buy A Damn Bra Already

When did I do my shopping challenge? Hold please. Yes, 2017-18, that was when I made the decision to not buy clothes for a year, and I had said the exception was a new bra. Spoiler alert: I did not buy a bra. So back in 2017, my bras were already ill-fitting due to my much-deflated decolletage, so who knows how old my bras actually are? I have been wearing the wrong size bra for many years now. JUST BUY A BRA, NICOLE.

In my semi-defense, most of the time I wear yoga tanks under my clothes, for teaching, and so I don’t wear an actual bra that often but MY GOD HOW HARD IS IT TO GO TO VICTORIA’S SECRET AND JUST BUY A BRA. I don’t have a hard-to-fit size, I have a Victoria’s Secret in the mall that is a five minute drive away, I COULD DO THIS.

THIS. This is my main, non-vague resolution for 2020. Go to the mall. Get fitted for a bra. Buy a bra that fits in a few different colours. GO ME.

Read More, Phone Less

This has been a goal for a few years now, and I’m happy to say that in 2019 I read 133 books. This might be a bit on the high side given that I was alone for ten days while the guys were in Alaska, and mostly I read during that time. However, I’d like to read over 100 in 2020. I instituted a rule for myself that on days that I was very busy with classes – 2 or 3 days a week – I would not look at social media, not once. It turned out to be great for my mental health, particularly with two elections in 2019. I am going to institute that rule again. Let me tell you, the longer I was off twitter the less I wanted to look at it.

Sing Us A Song You’re The Piano (Wo)Man

I have been playing the piano for over 34 years, and I love it – but I don’t play often enough. I usually force myself to sit down once a week to play for fifteen minutes, and that is just not enough. I’d like to extend that time, and learn how to play Evil Woman.

Favourite Things

I am going to continue to write this blog once a week, and do Favourite Things once a month.

Mindful Exercise

Oof, I learned a big lesson about myself in 2019, and that is that specific fitness goals are NOT healthy for me. I love running but I think my own goals for running my first road race caused my big injury. Therefore, I am going to keep my gentle goals in mind: one long run, one short, treadmill only, cross train with spin and elliptical. Someone told me that treadmill running is not “real” running but you know what? What other people consider to be “real” is not my concern. My concern is health and enjoyment.

Also, my yoga practice has changed immensely to include lots of modifications and variations of gentle seated poses, as well as a focus on strength with sun salutations and standing postures.

Make the Plans

Last year my friend Nicole and I (HI NICOLE) resolved to have coffee once a month for the year – and we did it! Although her son thought it wasn’t a real resolution because “we like each other and we like seeing each other” it was a bit of a challenge getting our schedules lined up. A few years ago I changed “I don’t have time for X” to “X is not a priority” to see how that would sit with me, and it turns out saying that my friends are not priorities does NOT sit well with me. My friendships are important and as such they deserve my time and effort. So, my plan is to find the time, set the date, and stop saying we should get together and just do it.

I think that’s everything! We shall see at this time next year what’s what. Have you made goals or resolutions this year?

Boyhouse Year In Review 2019

Posted on December 30, 2019 by Nicole Boyhouse

The cold and dark at this time of year practically demands cozyness during the winter holidays. We’ve all been sleeping late and letting the days unspool slowly, with no real big goals or activities. The first couple of days of winter break, I did nothing except read and watch movies, slowly increasing my activity levels as I felt myself become restored.

Self-reflection and striving for improvement is always a good thing, I think. It’s good to look back on the year and look forward to the new one dawning. This year, Christmas has felt different; for one thing – and this will surprise many of you – I have not yet taken down my tree or decorations. Usually I pounce on it shortly after Christmas, but it still stands there merrily, and I have made no move to change things. Christmas cards are on every surface in the living room, and I have no urge to pack them away and dust those surfaces. Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to slow down time in a Landslide-type way? I don’t know. All I know is I have the strong urge not to rush anything and to be present, which is my goal for this and every year.

My husband booked tickets to see the new Little Women movie Saturday night, and so last week I set aside my library pile to re-read the books. I say “books” because I include Good Wives as a separate book, which I’m sure could be the cause of many really boring arguments. Anyway, I’m glad I re-read them because the new movie is so true to the books; as well it is very cleverly shot and the characters are shown as being far more complex than they are in the usual heart-warming adaptations. It’s a little dark in places, which is quite true to Louisa May Alcott’s life; she had quite a dreadful, impoverished, and difficult life.

Has anyone seen the movie yet? I need to talk about it. Specifically, I need to talk about the juxtaposition of the scene of Meg at Sallie Moffat’s ball and the scene where she and John are discussing finances and her purchase of $50 worth of silk. And every other little thing about the movie.

Near the end of the movie, Amy has a line in which she says that writing about things – specifically, domestic, everyday things – is what makes them important. Is there anything better description for a blog? Here are the things that were important to me this year:

January

I talked about life’s little luxuries, someone told me that I reminded him of Charlene Prickett, and in an eerie bid of foreshadowing, I rescheduled my son’s appointment to get his braces on, which turned out to be very serendipitous. My older son also went winter camping and I wrote about cozy things.

February

I discovered that Johnny Rotten’s name came from his gross dental health and scheduled myself a dental cleaning (also, he’s still alive – who knew?), I started my Eating a Rainbow series in which I discuss my completely rigid meal plan, and my son’s orthodontist turned out to be an actual criminal. It was also the coldest February on record, so I had to search for my inner sunshine.

March

I had more than usual time-change-related-exhaustion, I cleaned my oven, and while traveling to and from Puerto Vallarta, I was seated beside the World’s Worst Airplane Seatmates. Literally. I also made a Seinfeld-themed birthday cake for my Seinfeld-obsessed son.

April

I went into full-on spring cleaning mode, including, weirdly, booking a Pap test, I got a Garmin watch and went into full-on David Sedaris mode, and I celebrated my birthday! I also talked about my trip to Puerto Vallarta and how I finally realized my dream of ziplining.

May

I bought a scrunchie, I took my son to his drum lessons and met his unintentionally-hilarious drum teacher, and I badly injured myself only two days before my first road race. Also, Barkley turned 11!

June

I applied to renew my sons’ passports, and met David, the employee with the most zest for his job and pride in his work that I have ever seen, government or not, I replaced the battery on my Daylight Magnifying Mirror, and my sons decided to give me even more grey hair by racing around in abandoned shopping carts. I also, weirdly enough, volunteered to make mini-cupcakes for the teachers.

July

I had an empty nest for a week, I hiked with the kids and listened to them talk about Li’l Pump, and we got two days of nice weather so I carped the diem. I also went to a concert and got dressed up in my Stampede Wear.