Category Archives: Luckiness

Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You; Nine Weeks In

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Things have been starting to open up around here, in a slow way and with many rules and restrictions in place. Last Monday (Monday? I think? All the days blur together.) I received a phone call, which, if it’s not a telemarketer or an automated voice telling me that I haven’t paid my taxes and someone is on their way to arrest me, is rare. But happiness of happiness, it was the orthodontist office calling to make an appointment for my younger son to come in on the very first day that the office opened, which happened to be Thursday. I was so happy to hear from her; in the very least, I would not have to resort to DIY orthodontia for his loose bracket.

A few weeks ago, when May 14 was given as the date that dentists, orthodontists, and other medical professionals could re-open their offices, I called the orthodontist only to get an answering service saying please don’t call us, we will call you. I resigned myself to many weeks more of Not Going To The Orthodontist, and so this phone call and ensuing appointment was pretty unexpected and exciting.

We were emailed a long list of instructions as to visiting the office, as well as a form that my son had to fill out indicating that he has no Covid symptoms, he is not being tested for coronavirus, has not been out of the country or in contact with anyone being tested, symptomatic, or out of the country, etc., etc. I went through the instructions with my son, who wondered he was part of a drug deal or maybe an undercover sting operation, rather than a simple orthodontist appointment, which, well. I get it. He was to come through the back door, alone, and masked. I was to call from the parking lot to let them know we had arrived and await their instructions as to when he could approach the door. I was to wait in the car for him, and he came back with stories of hand-and-mouth sanitizing and a hand-written note saying that the next appointment would be in 6-8 weeks and don’t call them, they’ll call me.

My big question was – and still is – when will we be Done With Orthodontia, and the answer is Who Knows. The orthodontist told my son he’s Getting Close, but he’s been saying that he’s Getting Close for many months now, so this is not indicative of anything at all. My experience with orthodontists is that they give constant false hope as to when braces will be removed. My older son’s orthodontist said “another four to six months” basically after every appointment; this new orthodontist doesn’t seem to give that kind of information. It’s just Getting Close.

Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it. The upside of distance learning and my incredibly truncated teaching schedule is that when I’m making appointments for the orthodontist, or anything else, for that matter, I don’t have to think about timing; how to schedule without missing important classes, how to squeeze in an appointment between my classes and my son’s, how to juggle everything. We are going nowhere and doing nothing, so we can take any spot available.

I had a really lovely long weekend. The weather was gorgeous, I was able to get in a lot of gardening, walks, and general outside time, and we had a (socially distanced, don’t judge) visit with my parents, who I have missed very much. The boys and I hadn’t seen them since February, and my husband hadn’t seen them since Christmas. It felt wonderful and almost normal, and it was a reminder to me that there are many joys to be found in our lives. I have been thinking about that a lot lately, but it will have to wait for another post.

Pandemic Reading

This book was beautifully written, very rich and layered, and yet I will not give it an across-the-board recommendation. It is VERY sad and also potentially very triggering. It deals with a woman in two time periods: 2000 and 2017, and this woman had what is referred to as “an affair” with her 42-year-old teacher, at age 15. There are many facets to this story, and it is all very sad and kind of terrifying too; the book is worth reading, absolutely, it feels like an important book, but I am putting a lot of caveats out here.

After I read My Dark Vanessa, I desperately needed a palate cleanser, and who better than Nora Ephron? This is my second-favourite book of hers, and it is one that you a) do not have to think much about and b) is cheerful and chatty.

Yummy Things

It was my mother’s birthday just after Mother’s Day, and so I took her a cake. This is a chocolate layer cake with raspberry filling and chocolate ganache, and it’s VERY good. It is also vegan, and I’m really glad I took a photo because the two hour car ride to my parents’ place was not kind to it. By the time we got there the little blobs of frosting on the top had melted a bit and the raspberries had fallen off. Still, it was delicious.

Pandemic Fitness

Since the weather has been great, I’ve been really enjoying my runs and walks. I mean, look at that blue sky!

I hope you all had a lovely long weekend, and have some yummy things coming your way today! xo

Extreme Laundry Area Makeover; Six Weeks In

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We are adjusting. Or, we have adjusted. I feel luckier than pretty much everyone; my husband is still employed, my kids are old enough and motivated enough to do their distance learning lessons with minimal help from me, my kids get along with each other, we have a home gym, we are healthy, my parents and mother-in-law are healthy and self-isolating, unlike many of their generation, I am teaching zoom yoga, and it is spring. There have been shortages at the grocery store but they haven’t affected us, not really. We aren’t going hungry, that’s for sure.

But on the other hand, it’s been six weeks. I miss my parents, who I haven’t seen since late February. I have no idea when we will be able to drive eight hours to see my mother-in-law, who hasn’t seen her only grandchildren since Thanksgiving, and this “having no idea” is an awful feeling, especially as my mother-in-law is nearing eighty. I think I’ll always feel a bit sad for my son missing his big Westcoast sailing trip and his grade nine graduation. Every time he plays the drums or my older son plays the guitar, I think about their friends and their band. Sometimes I think about all those weekends where we were all just too busy to get together with people, and now we have nothing but time but no one can get together, and it’s sad.

My way of coping with everything is – not surprisingly, for those of you who know me – to keep a fairly rigid daily schedule. I write things in my day-timer every week, things I want to accomplish daily and weekly. I do at least one “big” thing a day, such as a special cleaning, teaching a yoga class, or grocery shopping. I write down my fairly unchanging meal plan and my incredibly detailed and long list for my weekly grocery shop. I write down when I’ll exercise and when I’ll clean the bathroom.

I still wake up at 4:30 in the morning and get up shortly after. I used to just be at the studio at five, but now I drink a few cups of coffee, do some writing or some reading, and then start my yoga practice at six, watching the sun come up, a little earlier every day. I have breakfast after that, wake up the boys, and go for a run or do some cardio on our elliptical trainer, feeling intense gratitude that my husband bought it five years ago. Then I shower, put on a full face of makeup, dress, and start on my to-do list for that day, such as it is.

Generally speaking, our house is clean and tidy; there are jobs that get done – mostly by me, but the rest of the family does some too – weekly, a few times a week, every other day, daily, and multiple times a day (dishes and kitchen counters, I’m looking at you). However, with this extra time on my hands I started on some bigger jobs that get done, but not often, and some jobs that pretty much have never been done. I’ve done things that get done maybe quarterly, like washing down the kitchen cupboards, or laundering all the duvet covers and blankets, or scouring the tiles behind the stove and the stove itself. I’ve done things that get done extremely infrequently, like washing walls and baseboards, and the springtime nightmare that is cleaning our tiny mudroom. I spent an HOUR scrubbing the wall of the downstairs bathroom that had a grossly thick layer of my hairspray on it, only to find out later that the way to get rid of hairspray on walls is to use a solution with shampoo in it, which seems obvious now.

The most gratifying job of all was one that had not ever been done, and that was to clean and organize the laundry area. You know how you keep something a certain way just because you’ve always kept it that way, even though it no longer makes sense? The garbage can was kept behind the washer in an inaccessible way, so that the children, when they were toddlers, would not get into it, those children who are now teenagers. This led to inevitable missing of the garbage can whenever someone emptied the lint trap or the downstairs Roomba or – in the past few years – threw out the elastics from their braces. The floor was filthy with dust, dirt, and discarded elastics.

Here’s the before. From this picture, it doesn’t look that bad but…

All the rarely-used poisonous items were up on the high shelf, away from those same toddlers. However, the frequently used laundry detergents were next to the inaccessible garbage can, meaning I had to contort myself every single day when I did my laundry just to get the Gain or the coldwater detergent. 

This is the space behind the washer, underneath the shelving. LOOK AT THE DIRT AND DUST ON THE FLOOR. It was a disaster.

Here is the after (those are scratches on the painted concrete, it’s actually really clean):

Infrequently used items switched with the frequently used ones, so I can easily reach what I need to do a load of laundry. What a concept!

Garbage can in an actual accessible place! Novel!

I did this in early April and I still get excited looking at it. It was the most satisfaction I’ve ever gotten from a job around the house, since Kondo-ing everything.

This week I don’t have any big indoor plans, most of my jobs are going to be of the yard work variety, since it is glorious, glorious spring around here.

Pandemic Reading

We watched The Godfather before my birthday so I dug out my old copy. I first read it when I was pregnant with my younger son, so 15 years ago. I remember being in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for my checkup, and hormonally sobbing when reading the line “I don’t wish for his mother to see him this way…look at how they massacred my son.”

My younger son is reading this for English, so I reread it to discuss with him. I know everyone loves this book, but for me it’s just okay. “Why don’t you love it, is there too much action for you?” my son asked me and yes, that’s probably why.

This was my Friday night read. God, I loved this book and I still love this book.

Celeste Ng is one of the greatest writers of our time. This book is just so beautiful, and heart-breaking, and rich.

Yummy Things

Superstore had litre containers of whipping cream on for $1.97 this week! The only catch was that the expiry date was the next day. However, I bought two containers and in the space of 28 hours made cookies and cream ice cream, peppermint fudge ice cream, and vanilla gelato with cherry swirl. I also baked a cherry pie this weekend.

My husband ordered me a case of wine; this winery is on what used to be his family’s vineyard. His grandpa worked to own the land, his dad took over and was instrumental in bringing Riesling grapes to the Okanagan, which wasn’t wine country back then, and the property was sold in 2004. The Riesling is still amazing, and my husband had helped plant a lot of the vines, back in his youth.

Pandemic Fitness

With the arrival of spring I’ve been doing a little more running, slightly less walking, and basically enjoying being outside.

I hope you are all having a lovely week and are staying safe and healthy. xo

Accidental Hoarding and Two Weeks In

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I was making my list for the grocery store last week; I am going out once a week to replenish our supplies and though I’ve always been a list-maker, I find myself being more vigilant in that area. After all, if I forget something I can’t just run out and grab it. I’m finding it fairly easy to keep social distances in the grocery stores; for one thing, they are very quiet right now, and there are x’s marked on the floor to show where we need to keep our carts to keep appropriately away from other people. Probably the best thing is that other people – in my experience – are really taking social distancing seriously so we are all stepping widely to give each other two metres of berth.

Anyway, I was making my list and I looked at the shelf where I keep the following: tea, bread crumbs, the very occasional box of crackers, Oreos – which I use exclusively to make homemade cookies and cream ice cream, and if you have never made that, it is WORTHWHILE – and taco shells. Tacos are an excellent Pandemic Meal, in my opinion, as I always have black beans on hand for me and ground chicken in the freezer for the guys. My younger son is in charge of making tacos when it’s Taco Night, and so I am always prepared with shells and seasoning. However, on this shelf was an open box of shells, less than half full. How could that be? On my big Pandemic Shop, I was sure I had purchased a few boxes of shells, specifically because of the aforementioned Excellence of Tacos As A Pandemic Meal. I wrote it down on my list, figuring that with everything else going on, I had simply forgot. I picked up three boxes at the grocery store, and then while I was putting groceries away, I saw three boxes of shells in the pantry downstairs. Ah! I had run out of room and put some dry goods on a shelf downstairs after the big Pandemic Shop. I must keep that in mind when I think I’m running out of pasta – I have a few boxes on that shelf – but meanwhile, I now have six and a half boxes of taco shells.

Is this hoarding?

I guess if anyone is in desperate need of taco shells, I can share, but last time I looked there was certainly no shortage. The shelves containing flour, pasta, and canned soup continue to be empty, and I have heard that yeast is very difficult to find. I haven’t tried as I still have some, and – taco shells aside – I am trying not to panic buy anything. I am trying to Make Do With What I Have, for the most part. Still, I saw something on twitter about making yeast out of dried fruit, and I am going to do that. Science, bitches!

Speaking of science, online lessons start this week, which will be interesting. In addition to this, I am teaching my yoga classes online – both live through Zoom and via YouTube videos. My husband is, of course, working from home and we are in a small 1960s bungalow. Do not get me wrong, I love our house, I feel fortunate to have a lovely home with a family that I love, but this is the week that things will get Interesting.

Happy Things This Week

As I mentioned, it was my son’s 16th birthday last Monday, and our anniversary as well. We went for a long walk in the natural area that is only a kilometer walk from our house. It was an absolutely gorgeous day.

I also made a strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and coconut whipped cream. It was delicious.

Yesterday I baked brownies and topped them with homemade ice cream and fudge sauce.

My friend Denise (HI DENISE) suggested the Houseparty app, and on Friday we had a wine date together with some of her friends. I highly suggest this if you, like me, are missing having actual conversations with people and seeing faces.

Things That Are Disproportionately Upsetting Me This Week

I don’t think I really need to say that I’m worried about illness and death of so many people, and worried about it hitting loved ones. I don’t think I need to say that I’m worried about the massive economic fallout from all of this; about ninety percent of people I know have either lost their jobs or taken pay cuts, small businesses are going to get decimated, who knows how all of this is going to get resolved and paid for. My sister-in-law is considered an essential worker right now and she is the person who checks in on my widowed, nearly 80-year-old mother-in-law who lives in isolation on two acres, and if you don’t think that’s worrying, well.

But sometimes the little things take on larger significance in my mind. The two things that have upset me in a completely disproportionate way, are that the spring plant fundraiser I had ordered from is cancelled, and all the hair salons are closed. I mean, of course. There is no WAY to physically distance yourself while getting your hair done, unless your hair therapist has metre-long arms with Edward Scissorhands-like hands. I mean, there’s just no way. It’s obvious that they should close AND YET. Well, I have purchased a couple of boxes of hair dye and although it has been well over two decades since I coloured my own hair, I am ready. I have been wondering for months if I should start growing out my hair, and I guess the answer is YES.

I guess the thing that is bothering me is that my hair therapist, who I love and have been going to for eighteen years, owns her own tiny salon. She is going to be just another of the small businesses affected and yes, if we all work together maybe it won’t be closed relatively long. But she’s the face for yet another business that is going to be hit hard by all of this and there is nothing that can be done, not really.

Pandemic Reading

Emma is SUCH a delight of a book.

CanLit! I read this in first-year university, and as you can see, I must have written a paper about the theme of blindness, and the stone angel as a symbol for Hagar herself. Seeing my notes in the book cracked me up. Ah, the earnestness of a first-year university student.

This was my favourite book as a teen; I read it many, many times. It’s a good Pandemic Book because it’s over 800 pages. I have shelves full of books, but having a longer read is a good idea, since who knows when the libraries will reopen. I have not yet finished it; it feels like a Project.

Stepping Out, Pandemic Style

After Steph (HI STEPH) mentioned that I had walked almost a marathon, I decided to make that my goal each week. I live in a neighbourhood in which it is very easy to Social Distance: wide sidewalks, space along boulevards, pathways. I am reluctantly Not Running right now, due to the time of year and the freeze-melt cycle which results in very icy sidewalks and pathways. But Saturday morning I speed walked – feeling like a 1990s speed walker or that Prancercize lady – and managed 8.5 km in 1:17, which I thought was pretty good.

Oooh, that 29.8 bothers me in a David Sedaris-like way. SO CLOSE TO THIRTY. Okay, no. Let’s not get Weird and Obsessive, or at least not any more than normal.

That’s it for me this week; how are you all doing? xo

Sweet Sixteen and One Week In

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Today is my older son’s 16th birthday and, coincidentally, our 18th wedding anniversary! We are obviously not celebrating the way we thought we would – in Mexico, with our friends, their son being my son’s birthday twin and one of his best friends – but it’s okay. Everything is okay. We are going to barbeque tonight – steak for the guys, mushrooms for me – with roasted sweet potatoes and homemade Caesar salad, plus a strawberry cake for dessert. It’s Monday night and we aren’t having pasta! A special day indeed.

I think the thing about having kids this age is that I can really clearly remember what it was like to be 16. I also feel like if this had happened when I was 16, I would not be quite as positive and cheerful about it as my kids have been. We talk a lot about kids being online too much but honestly, it’s great that they can still “see” their friends via Facetime and group chats. Maybe all this phone activity was just preparing them for social distancing and isolation.

My husband took my son out for his first driving lesson last night at the mall parking lot, thinking it would be very quiet since nothing is open in the mall, and also it was Sunday night. It turns out many people had that idea. There were lots of parents there with teens driving around in circles. It just reinforces that although we are all separate, we are all together too.

How are you all doing? We have had some good news this week, as regards the schools. Technically we are on spring break right now, but as of next week, online lessons will start for the kids; I was concerned that my younger son wasn’t going to have any direction in that regard and would start high school behind, but that looks like it will not be the case.

Here are the things we have been doing for this first week of isolation:

All Caught Up On Groceries

I did go out for groceries and prescriptions last week; I’m all stocked up. I wasn’t accounting for my husband to be eating lunches at home, so I had to buy quite a bit extra to make up for that. In the good old days – two weeks ago – he would just buy lunch downtown. Well, I’m all caught up now. I think that I will be able to just go out once weekly to get fresh produce and a few other things. It looks like grocery stores are marking the aisles to make it easy to keep your cart away from others and installing “sneeze shields” around their employees, like at a buffet. Also, with the initial rush of panic buying over, I feel like the stores will be quieter this week. It’s really interesting to me to see what has been cleared out of the shelves. First it was toilet paper and hand sanitizer, then I started noticing things like bread, eggs, and milk clearing out. Last week I noticed that the pasta, canned soup, and flour shelves were absolutely decimated. Fresh produce, though, is plentiful.

Barkley

I managed to snag an appointment at the local grooming place for Barkley. Normally at this time of year he gets groomed at the boarding kennel at the end of spring break. I was lucky to get an appointment as they are closing temporarily very soon. He was as matted and fuzzy as can be; he is now nice and clean – although it is a bit chilly still for him to have such short hair.

Extreme makeover!

Yoga Classes Online

I taught my first yoga class online and I’m setting up a series of YouTube videos for Gentle Yoga. It’s strange teaching to a laptop, but I’m visualizing all my regular students, which makes it fun.

I’m Walking, Yes Indeed

I was concerned about curtailing my usual physical activities. Keeping active is very important to me, not just physically, but mentally. However, with nothing but time on my hands, it’s pretty easy to get a LOT of exercise. Between my elliptical machine and taking lots of walks, I averaged over 17,000 steps per day last week. According to my Garmin, I walked 25.6 miles.

Don’t worry! Even though I have never seen so many people out walking in my neighbourhood, it is very easy to Social Distance. We all are stepping way out of the way when another person approaches and when I see someone I know, we talk from at least six feet away.

Reading

I’m doing a lot of reading. Fortunately I have several bookshelves full of good things to read.

I love short stories and I love Alice Munro. This is a really great collection, with a very interesting novella about Sophia Kovalevsky, a noted Russian mathematician in a time when women were not noted for being mathematicians.

Olive, Again was the last book I got from the library before it closed and I highly recommend it. It was, in my opinion, even better than Olive Kitteridge. Elizabeth Strout is an incredibly talented writer.

I’ve mentioned this many times before, but it never fails to make me laugh until I cry. Especially now, Stepping Out speaks to me.

As I mentioned before, my son is studying this in school and so I refreshed myself to have conversations with him about it. One of my favourites, I was able to talk to him about the character arc of Aunt Alexandra, who is one of the most interesting characters in the book.

If you have any books from your childhood lying around, I recommend you pick them up and read them. It is so interesting to reread childhood favourites – such a different perspective as an adult!

How are you all doing? Lots of love to you all. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Self-Care During A Global Pandemic Edition

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Over the weekend, the situation changed hourly. By Sunday night, essentially everything was shut down: libraries, the gym, yoga studios, SCHOOL. School is – and I can’t think too much about this, I cannot think more than a day or two at a time right now – closed indefinitely. INDEFINITELY. Like I said, I can’t think too much about this. My kids are absolutely crushed; they are devastated about not seeing their friends, of course, but also worried about the academic implications. The high school is getting online learning going, and my high school student only has two core subjects this semester, both of which I personally excel at, math and English, so I will be able to help him as much as I can. He is currently reading To Kill a Mockingbird, which is one of my all-time favourites, so I am re-reading it now so we can have some good critical discussions. That, along with online math lessons, should be at least moderate to keep up with what will be needed in Grade 11, the important grade in terms of post-secondary early admissions.

The junior high, however, has stated that teachers CANNOT provide ANY school resources at this time, which, well. All of my son’s textbooks are online, so we can figure things out, and he is a very methodical worker so I’m hoping he will be able to self-learn. Of course I am here for his math and English as well – he is slated to study The Outsiders, which we have at home – but I’m unsure about the science and social studies curriculum. Well, we will get through. There will be a time after this, I keep telling myself. This isn’t forever.

The funny thing is that this week I had planned in my head to write a Favourite Things: Self Care Edition because of how busy this week always is, getting ready for spring break. It seems like an entirely different lifetime, doesn’t it? Like, normally I would be scrambling trying to fit in my bikini wax between classes, get the dog to the boarding kennel, and pack all the bags. I might even feel resentful that I am the key bag-packer in the house. OH TO HAVE THAT RESENTMENT.

Like I said, I can’t think too much about it. I can’t think about indefinite school closures, I can’t think about the escalation of cases and deaths, I can’t think about the massive economic fallout that this will have on everyone. We all have to take care of ourselves, and with that in mind…

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Self-Care During a Global Pandemic Edition

Daily Mantra

Every day I repeat to myself that there are many things out of my control, so I can only control what I can control. It’s like I’m basically repeating the Serenity Prayer to myself over and over. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. We can only control our own thoughts, our own movements, our own actions. I can’t control the schools closing indefinitely but I can help the kids with lessons every day.

Daily Yoga

Yes, the studios are all closed but I have a long and well-established practice that I can easily do at home. Even if you DON’T, now is the time to start. God, if there was any time to start a home yoga practice, it would be now. My studio is starting to offer classes online – I’ll be teaching one this week, stay tuned! – but of course there are also countless YouTube videos out there. My husband is benefiting from my I-Miss-Teaching state of mind, and I’m giving him mini at-your-desk sessions throughout the day. Roll out your mat, and breathe.

How do you like my home yoga studio? Squeezed in between the kitchen and the dining room table which is also doubling as my husband’s work-from-home station. Well, that’s the great thing about yoga, all you need is enough space to roll out your mat.

Keep Active

With the gym closed, and my treadmill running and spin classes obviously being non-existent, I am putting in extra efforts to keep active. I am lucky enough to have an elliptical trainer in my basement, and fortunately the weather is decent – so long daily walks are on the schedule. The sidewalks are still pretty icy so I’m not comfortable running outside, but I will revisit that later. In any case, daily activity is important. And so is fresh air! At least this didn’t happen in January, I think to myself. Right? Because the days are longer and the sun is stronger. Get outside, breathe the air, be active.

Nourish Your Body

Let me tell you, on Friday I was in Let’s Eat And Drink Whatever We Want My God This Is The Apocalypse mode, and that was fine for a couple days, but definitely not sustainable. For one thing, if I keep drinking a bottle of wine every night I would quickly run out of wine. For another, I don’t want to outgrow all my clothes because well, no shopping for a while. So I’m keeping up with my Eating A Rainbow meal plan, there seems to be absolutely no issue getting fresh produce right now so I’m making sure the boys are eating their usual mammoth amounts of fruits and vegetables, and, of course, I’m having my daily green smoothies.

 

Cue the choir of angels: look at that avocado. My mom gave me that cutting board for Christmas after my son destroyed one of mine crushing candy canes.

Green Smoothies

This deserves its own heading. I have said countless times before that I swear by green smoothies for health and energy. I have one every day; my favourite is this one, but if you don’t want to click the link it is a cup of almond milk, two tablespoons almond butter, a frozen banana, a whole lot of cinnamon, and like 8 cups of spinach.

Hydrate

The green smoothie is hydrating, but so is water. Whenever I say I drink 4-5 litres of water daily, the question that always arises is “Don’t you pee a lot?” I mean, I guess? I don’t really monitor how much other people pee, but I would guess I probably do pee more than normal. I have a pretty water bottle that makes me happy every time I fill it, and if you think that sound frivolous, have you met me? I’m all about frivolous. On that note:

Make Yourself Feel Pretty

If there is nowhere to go and nobody to see, it’s pretty easy to slump into a series of Pajama Days. If that’s your jam, great! But for me, that is very bad for my mental health. So, every day I shower, put on a nice outfit. I put on makeup, do my hair, and wear my jewelry. I have been having a series of great hair days lately; isn’t that always the way? Great hair days and no one to share them with. Well, I’m sharing them with you now!

For God’s Sake, Step Away From The Internet

Yes, it’s important to be informed and yes, things change on the hour. However, constantly refreshing your feed is NOT the best idea if you want to stay sane. Or maybe it is, maybe that’s how you feel in control; for me, I have to step away. I mean, unless I want to see people fighting on my facebook page about whether or not the virus can survive in a warm climate, or the usual Internet Divided which happens for literally everything – EVERYTHING – but just feels gross now, the teams divided into We Are All Going To Die versus We Are All Overblowing Everything. As usual, there is no middle ground, and so it’s really better to Stay Off The Internet. Or just check in once or twice a day. The news is not going to be good no matter how you slice it, so just check in with what you need and get on with your day.

The exception? Cute photos. Look at this guy!

I’m also reading a lot – the library is closed but luckily I have tons of books that I love and am going to re-read. My mom gave me The Testaments for Christmas, which I haven’t read yet. I am not sure I can read something of a dystopian nature right now, but soon. In the meantime I will be sharing my reading list with you.

Please note that these are things that make ME feel better. Maybe they will resonate with you, maybe they won’t. Just stay safe, stay healthy, and remember that yes, there will be a time after this. It’s not forever. xoxo

…and I scream at the top of my lungs, “What’s going on?”

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I am a person who really has to make a concerted effort to have just one or two backups of any given staple in my house, whether it be food, toiletries, or paper products. I have to work at not hoarding things, with the thought in mind that I can always buy it next time I’m here. So you can probably imagine my state of mind, and also the state of the pantry, fridges, and freezer right now.

Interestingly enough, as of yesterday my local Co-Op had toilet paper in stock, but I got the last two bags of round tortilla chips, and the chip aisle itself was pretty much decimated.

This is usually one of my most hectic weeks of the whole year, getting ready for spring break and all that comes with it. Suddenly I’m thrust into a quiet state and I hardly know what to do with myself. Our spring break trip to Mexico is, obviously, cancelled. Hence the extra avocados; if we can’t go to Mexico, I guess Mexico can come to us. Although – and I just realized this in a panicked way – I was going to stock up on vanilla on my way home at the duty free, and now I will have to buy expensive vanilla, all is ashes.

Anyway, I am very disappointed and sad, for the lack of a Mexican trip and also, disproportionately, the lack of vanilla. These are Princess Problems, of course, but I am still sad. Never mind all my groceries, I have a serious plethora of sunscreen that I stocked up on, as well as new bikinis and coverups. My son’s sailing trip has not yet been cancelled, but of course it will be, and I guess I will be donating the giant rubber boots I bought for him, because no ninth-grader is actually going to wear giant rubber boots unless he is actually on a sailboat on the west coast.

All that angst about the poinsettia fundraiser, all for naught.

I am also a person who has always washed her hands countless times per day; I open up doors in public places using the bottom of my shirt and I hand-sanitize after touching keypads or buttons. I have indoctrinated my kids to do the same; from the time they were little they knew to wash their hands after coming into the house, they would hold out their chubby little hands for a squirt of hand sanitizer in public places. So you can probably imagine my state of mind right now, not to mention the state of my hands. If you were to judge my age by my hands – as they say – I would be 102 years old.

Well. I’m trying very hard to be positive, thinking that we are all working together to mitigate the coronavirus, to “flatten the curve,” as they say, and at the very least, I will be spending a lot of time with my family. My husband’s office is closed, so he’s working from home. The schools have not yet been closed, and perhaps they won’t be, but in any event, spring break starts on Friday. I just read that the virus is not transmitted through sweat, so tomorrow I am going to go to the gym, and I’m feeling confident about my yoga classes.

Just as an aside, it’s minus twenty and snowing right now. It is a full fifty degrees warmer in Puerto Vallarta AND they have mango margaritas there.

Positive thinking, POSITIVE THINKING. I am going to get a lot of reading done, I have un-paused all of my library holds and I have a number of books at home that I was looking forward to reading on my beach chair. I will read them in my comfy chair at home! That’s almost as good. I remembered earlier in the day that today is Pi Day, and so I baked a cherry pie for the guys. I will never cease to be amazed at mathematics. Any circle in the world, any circle, take the circumference and divide by the diameter, and you get pi. ANY CIRCLE, ANY ONE AT ALL. Is that not amazing? Anyway, cherry pie. Together with that and the coconut chocolate cookies I made yesterday, we are awash in baked goods. Baked goods or not, we are luckier than 99% of people, I think.

Earlier in the week there was a lockdown at the high school, caused by a student who brought a gun to school; it was quite terrifying but ended up that the gun in question was an Airsoft one, and so everything is fine. The point is that we are all here and healthy. My beautiful friend Florence, of amazing hair fame (HI FLORENCE) said she was taking this opportunity – this forced quietness, this forced pause – to stop rushing around and just spend time with family. Given that my plans for the next week would have had me in a literal frenzy, I feel that I should take this time as a gift. It’s also an opportunity to practice loving-kindness towards ourselves and others, to remember the people who are not as fortunate as ourselves, and to eat any manner of delicious things and – as I have been doing – to drink a lot of wine. After all, I have a fairly full rack of wine, lots of gin and vodka, and if all else fails, I can figure out how to make my own mango margaritas. Although, that will require a trip to the grocery store and honestly, I do not think I have the stamina to do that again for a few days. But, sometimes, needs must.

Stay well, my friends. Wishing you lots of wine and yummy things, and, above all, health. xo

Maybe they are “regular”

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I am absolutely a morning person, and yet I’ve had a few strange occurrences over the past few days that have caused me to figuratively tilt my head and raise my eyebrows at myself. On Saturday I started the coffee without noticing that the pot was on an angle, and by the time I finished washing my face, brushing my teeth, and feeding the dog there was half a pot of coffee that had spilled out on my countertop. Half a pot of coffee is a lot of coffee on a flat surface; it took me many minutes and many dish clothes to clean the mess up. I had to move all the small appliances and twenty-five bananas out of the pool of coffee and, of course, the angled pot had pressed up onto the filter and so there were grounds all through my coffee maker as well. My coffee maker was in need of a vinegar cleaning anyway – I am not sure if I’ve EVER given it a vinegar cleaning, and I have had this coffee maker since at least 2012 – but still. It was not, I thought, the best way to start a new month.

Then, this morning I went to yoga practice with my pants inside out. I didn’t even notice until I was two-thirds of the way through; if they were black I’m sure I would have never noticed, but they were blue, with a black gusset, and so it was fairly obvious.

Despite these two occurrences, February seems to be off to a good start. Saturday my husband and I had a date to The Casbah, where I had the single best meal of my life. I am not exaggerating. It was epic. If you are in Calgary, you really must go. Not only is the food incredible – I’m serious, it was the best meal I have ever consumed – the atmosphere is wonderfully romantic and lovely. I have always wanted to visit Morocco; one day I will and I will eat all the chickpeas and tajines and couscous you can imagine.

Then yesterday, in addition to being a palindrome, Kansas City won the Superbowl, which I was excited about. I also made a delicious dessert that I hadn’t made for a while, strawberry daiquiri pie. It’s the easiest thing in the world: a few days before, put two cans of full-fat coconut milk in the fridge. Scoop out the thick and creamy part to use, whirl it in a food processor with three cups of sliced strawberries (I used thawed frozen ones), two tablespoons of lime juice, and 1/2 cup honey. Pour it into a graham cracker crust (1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs with 1/4 cup melted coconut oil). Freeze, eat with magic shell chocolate (2/3 cup coconut oil melted with 1 cup chocolate, add 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1 tablespoon honey).

Most importantly, though, today my son went back to school. Hurrah to the end of exam break, all is back to normal in the Boyhouse.

So February is great so far, and I am happy to report that I am no longer hearing Honky Cat on a loop in my head. I was talking to the boys about this and my younger son pointed out it was excellent that I didn’t have Bennie and the Jets stuck in my head, because no one knows the words to it. I realized with a start that this was true. I don’t know the words to Bennie and the Jets; I would venture to say that no one does*. I would say that the entire population might know “Hey Kids,” followed by a great deal of mumbling, then “She’s got electric boots,” more mumbling that culminates in “B-b-b-bennie and the Jets.” But nothing else.

My son told me he had looked up the lyrics and it was worth doing; if you are interested you should do this because whoa nelly, none of those words a) make sense, and b) sound like anything at all in the song.

Speaking of things that don’t make sense, I had to go to Walmart for a few Walmart-y type things, one of which was Advil. The Pain Relief aisle is the same as the Family Planning aisle – huh, let’s not think too much about this – and there was a man there, talking with one of the employees. The employee – who was, I feel it is important to mention, female – had a box of condoms in her hand and was reading it.

Employee: This says “Extra Large.”

Man: No, no, that’s not what I need. Is there an “Extra SMALL?”

At this point I seriously considered browsing through the KY jellies and multiple personal lubricants just to hear the rest of the exchange. Mostly, though, I was impressed with this man. I mean, who has the confidence to ask for extra small condoms in a normal, non-whispery voice? Who has the confidence to actually go to a physical store to look for extra small condoms, rather than special order them online? May we all hold ourselves in such esteem.

Also? I’m pretty sure they DON’T have extra small condoms. I am pretty sure that the condom companies would never market them that way. It’s probably like in Starbucks, where a small is a Tall.

Well, there’s no good way to segue into this, but look at what I saw in the Co-Op the other day:

CANNED HAGGIS. Who knew there was such a thing? Not me, that’s for sure. As if haggis itself isn’t gross enough – “I think all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare,” Mike Myers – CANNED haggis? Who would buy this? Let alone who would pay $13.29 for a can of haggis? No Scottish person, that’s for sure. If there is one thing that unites us as a people, it is frugality.

As a note I have never actually eaten haggis, canned or no, and I never will. But I just can’t imagine it being good in any capacity, even if I wasn’t vegetarian. Note the mushy peas next to it. Shudder, shudder, shudder.

I have decided that I WILL challenge myself to wear a different outfit every day in February. Let’s see how this goes. Today is cold and snowy and grey, which is a very February kind of day, I think. So why not brighten it up by digging through my closet to come up with different things? If there’s one thing I love, it’s clothes. And Moroccan food. And Elton John.

Here are my first three outfits of the month: date night, my only football-themed top for Superbowl Sunday, and a very typical “teaching day” outfit.

*Technically it is not no one; other than Elton John, my friend’s husband does actually know the words, which is a very excellent party trick in my opinion.