Category Archives: Luckiness

Leaning Out; Nineteen Weeks In

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I am at that weird point in the summer, but also in the pandemic, where I really struggle to know what day it is. The boys and I went for a fun little hike last Monday, and when I think about it, it seems like months ago. Thank god for blogs, because I have no concept if something happened in April or last week, and I find myself looking it up and being constantly surprised.

There was a worldwide Garmin outage due to hacking, and it really begs the question: if you do a physical activity, but your watch doesn’t track it, did it really happen? If you do not have a Garmin watch or similar, you might think – as I did, people, as I did, karma on every judgement every time – that such a question is ridiculous. However, millions of users, myself included, were all completely lost. Sure, there’s a global pandemic with millions sick and dying, there are terrible social injustices happening all around the world, there is massive government corruption and countries are all facing mind-boggling national debts and unemployment, small businesses are closing up while the Walmarts and Amazons are thriving. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY RUN, WILL IT BE RECORDED.

The boys were up at my parents’ for a few days, helping my dad with a few things, and my husband and I looked at each other across the table, wondering what day it was. It’s Wednesday, I said with great authority. I thought it was Thursday the whole day, he said. We stared at each other for a minute – it WAS Wednesday, but disconcerting as who really knows, time has lost all meaning and feels like a false construct – and then went back to our salads.

The boys paddling at 15 degrees and windy; they are pretty hardened to cold weather, but melt a little in warmer temperatures. Luckily, they live here.

As a digression, when my younger son was in kindergarten I often chatted with his little friend’s grandma, who cared for her granddaughter while her parents were at work. This woman was a real inspiration to me; so energetic and vibrant, and interesting to talk to. She was the woman who really pressed me to look into getting my varicose veins removed, saying that I was so young with so many years ahead of me, it was too much to go through life with pain that could be easily remedied. Longtime readers will remember that I did get them stripped; unfortunately, according to my doctor, I am a “very unusual case” as I have since developed NEW varicose veins, and I cannot have anything done with them as, well, no more veins can really be removed from my body.

ANYWAY. If you’re interested in varicose veins, by all means, go search my archives. The grandma, however, talked to me once about how one day the kids will leave home, and I would be sitting across from my husband at the table, and it would be like, “Oh, hello.”

At the time I couldn’t picture it at all; dinners were hectic and evenings were filled with reading stories and supervising baths and cutting up fruit for snacks before collapsing, exhausted, on the couch. It’s not like the kids haven’t been away before, far from it. But it occurred to me suddenly: it won’t be long until the table-set-for-two is the rule, not the exception.

Last week I finished the book Lean Out by Tara Henley, and if you haven’t read it, I really recommend it. It really resonated with me and what I’ve been thinking about these last few weeks – this whole pandemic, really. The books centres on the physical and mental health issues that stem from our culture of overwork, overscheduling, overdoing. Don’t get me wrong; I love to be busy and productive and to get things done, but there’s a limit. It’s something I have known for years: there has to be yin where there is yang. Otherwise, your body forces you to be yin; in other words, you become sick, exhausted, depleted. If you don’t take rest, your body takes it for you, and it is much less pleasant than just sitting and reading for a while.

I am writing this as my husband has been working nonstop, every single day since June 29, evenings, weekends, holidays. He’s on a big project and there is an end in sight, but it is making me nervous in terms of health. Hoo boy. Anyway, during this whole month – and the whole pandemic – we have gone for walks every single day and I think that’s the yin that’s going to save us all. I’ve watched the lawns and gardens in the neighbourhood go from snow covered to bleak to tiny-signs-of-life to full blown flowers and grass. One garden in particular is my favourite to look at, owing to the gorgeous flowers and also their enormous collection of garden gnomes and tchotchkes. I call it the Happy Yard, with all the smiling ceramic ladybugs and what have you.

My own garden is in full swing; the roses are as late as they have ever been, and – perhaps owing to the super-early frost and snow last year – none of the old wood greened up, so I had to prune it all back. IN JULY.

But this week, the first of the roses started blooming, and it felt like a little breath of hope.

Pandemic Reading

I was out running errands when I got a text from my husband to let me know the library had called, and that one of my holds was ready for pickup. He followed up that text with this: Stop ordering books. I don’t know why he said that.

So I have a few things to read. Anyway, I AM making my way through the pile; I read two other books in addition to Lean Out this week.

This is about the woman who wrote The Velveteen Rabbit and her child prodigy daughter, Pamela. Pamela was a famous artist at a young age, and like most geniuses, suffered mental illness. Probably this was exacerbated by the pressure she was under thanks to her exploitative dickwad of a father.

This book was interesting and disturbing; it was well done but I don’t know that I’d across-the-board recommend it. If you like bizarre internet stalker-type books, and very well done and interesting twists, this is for you.

Have a beautiful week, friends. It’s the last week of July! Just a reminder for those of you who – like me – are completely messed up in terms of time. xo

Be Thankful For What You Got; Eighteen Weeks In

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You guys, I have a new toy!

It’s a Peloton!

Me, six months ago: Those Peloton things are ridiculous. I mean, if you want to spin, go to spin class. Half the fun is being around other people!

Me, six weeks into global pandemic: Do we have room for a Peloton?

I probably should have known; it’s karma. Every single thing that I have ever judged in my life, even silently, especially silently, has come back to haunt me. This should be a lesson to us all. Judge not, or walk a mile in their shoes or any other pithy saying.

Anyway, the Peloton. I love it so much. I can now pretend I’m in a Peloton meme any day of the week.

In terms of having ROOM for the Peloton, well. There was much rejigging and reorganizing of the home gym, and I feel like we literally cannot fit anything more in this house.

The book I read a few weeks ago, Success and Luck, talked about housing sizes and how they have increased enormously relative to real median incomes over the past fifty years. I live in a 1960s bungalow; it’s 1100 square feet on the main floor, with a finished basement of the same. If you popped my great-grandparents, immigrants from Norway and Scotland who lived on the prairies farming, into my house, I am sure it would seem very large and luxurious. But yet this same house might feel unsatisfying to someone today, someone used to ensuite jetted tubs and guest suites and those ubiquitous “bonus rooms.” Do not get me wrong, I love my house. It’s home and I love it very much, but let’s think about how our ideas of a modest house have changed, even since growing up in the 1980s.

It’s interesting to me because I think as time goes by we are collectively going to want a simpler life. A number of friends have whispered to me that secretly, they have been enjoying the slower pace of quarantine life, that really, they don’t miss the hustle and bustle and constant go go go. Late night ice times, early morning swim times, weekends devoted to meets and tournaments and evenings spent in the car, driving to activities, scarfing down whatever sandwich or take-out was available on the way to activities. It’s not a healthy way to spend a life and I think we are all collectively discovering this.

For me, my days used to be spent driving to and from different studios, squeezing in the demands of the household and quickly walking the dog and running to get groceries, wondering if I have time to fold laundry between classes, timing my day down to the minute, always going. I would have never, ever taken the time to walk around the neighbourhood for an hour, and now I do that daily.

I guess what I’m saying is that if anything comes out of this, I think it should be that we take time to examine all the optional things in our lives, to see if they are actually serving us in a way that is healthy and smart.

Friday will mark exactly 14 months since my hip injury, the injury that meant I couldn’t walk without considerable pain – in fact it was months before I could walk without a limp – and I thought my running days were over. I was talking to a friend about adversity, and how we come through it with a new understanding, a new peace, a new appreciation for everything we have.

When I injured my hip, while going through my yoga practice I could not transition between downward dog and warrior 1. I could bring my foot forward but I couldn’t take my hands off the ground; it was far too painful and felt impossible. Now when I go through my sun salutations, every single time I do that transition, I send “thank you” thoughts to my legs and hips. Thank you for holding me up. Thank you for healing and being strong.

As women, we are conditioned to be unhappy with our bodies. I wonder if this is connected somehow to the constant pressure to always push more, to go more, to do more. We are conditioned to disconnect from what our bodies need, and instead we punish them. I bet if you asked a million women, only one would say she was truly happy with her body. There would be women dissatisfied with the size of their thighs, the shape of their butts, their stomachs. But really, our bodies are incredible and deserve our love and gratitude.

I was thinking that this week when I was hiking with my friend Taryn (HI TARYN), how last summer I could not have taken this 16 km hike with lots of elevation, not without considerable pain, anyway. Thank you, body. Thank you, legs. Thank you, hips.

Taking the time to enjoy nature, to not be always worrying about the next thing – if this is what comes out of the pandemic for me, then I’m happy.

Pandemic Reading

I finished two books this week, Primates of Park Avenue is a re-read but it’s really excellent look into a whole different world. If we want to discuss relative wealth and happiness, well. It is worthwhile and fascinating.

Eleanor and Park was recommended to me by my dear friend Allison (HI ALLISON) and I finally read it and understood the hype. It’s great!

The library is open now and god help me, I need an intervention.

Have a beautiful week, my beautiful friends. Be kind to yourselves. xo

Lots of Adventures; Seventeen Weeks In

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Dental Adventure

I had a dental cleaning scheduled for Monday afternoon and I was a bit nervous, due to the thought of having someone’s hands in my open mouth but you know what, all my nerves evaporated when the hygienist came into the room in full hazmat gear. Mask, face shield, hair covered, medical gown over all her clothes, and gloves.

Apparently there are “Marches To Unmask” going on around the country, and I keep reminding myself that it is very bad karma, very bad karma indeed, to wish ill on the participants, especially to wish a deadly Covid outbreak that would occur as a result of those marches. Bad karma, and therefore I am NOT wishing it to happen.

It is also wrong and bad karma to I hope a giant anvil drops from the sky and squashes every single marcher. However, if my dental hygienist can cheerfully don a hazmat suit every time she cleans someone’s teeth, certainly we can all put on a mask to get groceries.

I’m really leaning into the pretty mask thing; it’s taking all of my willpower not to order a different mask for every day of the week. There are so many cute ones to choose from! Lean in! Make it work! Match it with your outfit! They really bring out your eyes.

Costco Adventure

Speaking of groceries, the exciting news in my life is that there are no longer lineups to get into Costco. In fact, last week I went to Costco and Superstore and a) almost everyone was masked, particularly in Costco where they give you masks at the door if you do not have your own (super cute and outfit-matching one), b) there were no shortages of anything that I could see or was shopping for, and c) I am finally getting back joy in grocery shopping. It no longer feels like a grim and possibly deadly task; it feels like the happy, food-obtaining job that I have long enjoyed.

Friend Adventures

We saw our dear friends, who are more like chosen family (HI GUYS) this week for the first time since February, and it felt joyful and wonderful and almost normal. Well, except I wasn’t able to hug them; god, I miss hugging. The book I just finished reading talks about the importance of touch to our physical and mental health, and there was some study done about the optimal number of hugs a day; my family is getting the brunt of my unspent hugs. HUG MEEEEEE.

I also saw my dear friend Lyn (HI LYN) for the first time in a long while, and she is NOT a hugger, so I am sure she’s getting joy out of not being physically affectionately attacked by me.

Actual Mountain Adventure

I went on a beautiful hike with my very good friend Janet (HI JANET); we went to Lake Louise and hiked the Plain of the Six Glaciers, along with a little detour up to Lake Agnes, for a total of about sixteen kilometres and lots of elevation. It was an adventure; there had been a snowslide across the path and we had to go over it, discovering after the fact that it was completely hollowed out underneath. Oops. At the Glacier Lookout, there is an outhouse, and when I was using it I heard a great loud noise and felt a lot of wind. This was the culprit:

If you’ve ever wondered how they empty outhouses in remote mountain locations, wonder no more!

If you don’t strike a yoga pose when you are hiking in the mountains, are you even a yoga teacher?

Lake Louise is usually chock full of tourists at any given time, but the cold drizzly morning, and our early start, meant I actually was able to get a people-free photo.

The top of that mountain, the Big Beehive, is where my husband proposed to me, lo these many years ago. Aww! Shmoopy.

Pandemic Reading Adventure

You guys, the library is open, not just for curbside hold pickups, but actually open! I think I need an intervention:

I read a real variety of books this week, variety being the spice of life, etc.

Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) recommended this as a fun, light read, and it really was. Fun fact: the wardrobe budget for Clueless was only $200,000 – think of all the costumes! – and so they thrifted or made all the clothing in the show. Another fun fact: the actor who holds Cher up by gunpoint was essentially called an hour before to get the job. The original actor was being a dick about getting to the set for the call time so they fired him and just started phoning random actors they knew to play the part that afternoon. Remember my last post and all the talk about luck and timing?

This is the last of the Lives of the Saints trilogy; you may recall that I LOVED Lives of the Saints, but the second book I actively loathed. Why would I even bother reading the third, you may ask? Well. It’s a trilogy. I kind of had to. You get me. Anyway, it was not as good as the first but much better than the second, and because it’s Nino Ricci there is a gross, disturbing, and frankly disgusting plot line. However, I’m still glad I read it. I had to finish the trilogy, don’t judge.

My lovely friend Twyla (HI TWYLA) recommended this to me; with this type of book, I take what I need and leave the rest. I mean, I’m not going to stop using shampoo, drinking coffee, wearing a bra, or vaccinating. I’m highly unlikely to start smudging with sage or burning salts. But here’s the thing: I am a big fan of modern medicine, I love modern medicine, but I also am a huge proponent of complementary and preventative medicine; I truly believe in mind-body connections and that negative thoughts and the inability to forgive and let go can be toxic. If we have learned nothing else from Star Wars, it’s that anger and hatred lead to death. Well, everything leads to death, probability of death equals 1, we are all on a journey to savasana, but it would be nice if that journey was as long and as healthy as possible. Anyway, what I really liked about this book was the theme of self-love and self-care, and to practice loving-kindness towards yourself first, and also to others. What we send out in the world is an echo, and it comes back to you. It’s all about karma!

On that note, I am sending you all thoughts of loving-kindness, I hope you have a week full of wonderful adventures and much joy. xo

Luck Be A Lady; Sixteen Weeks In

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This past week, among other things, I read a book recommended to me by an old grad school friend called Success and Luck. As the title suggests, it explores the role luck plays in individual – and collective – success, success being defined here as the financial or economic type. Yes, there are many definitions of success in the world, it’s not all about the money, we could talk for days about how we measure material success but there are other WAYS to define success, I know, I know, but the book is written by an economist, was referred to me by an economist, and hell, I AM an economist, technically, although I haven’t worked in that field for many years.

Anyway, the role of luck is something I think about often, and so this book was fascinating to me. Every single job I’ve ever gotten has had an element of luck and timing to it, and each one of those jobs – from my very first as a library page to my job as a quantitative analyst on a natural gas trading floor to my job as a yoga teacher – has shaped my life. I am qualified, hard-working, and smart, but so are many people; luck and timing have so much to do with everything. The book wrote about actors who ALMOST didn’t get the parts that essentially made their careers: Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, Bryan Cranston as Walter White. Where would they be without those roles? Al Pacino could have landed minor supporting roles to supplement waiting tables, Bryan Cranston would have gone down in history as the guy who played the dad on Malcolm in the Middle.

But jobs aside, sometimes I will think of things that have happened in my life that almost DIDN’T happen, and how that would have changed everything. It’s like that urban myth of someone stepping off the sidewalk and suddenly a car careens into that spot; if that person hadn’t stepped off the sidewalk they would be dead. A butterfly flaps its wings and an earthquake occurs.

So much of our lives depend on things that happened before we were born; WHERE we were born, for example, and who to, and who they were born to, and so one ad infinitum. Of course we can make our own choices, and to some very limited extent, our own luck, but the world is a rich tapestry, people, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Speaking of which, my husband recently saw the movie Into the Wild, and is now reading the Jon Krakauer book of the same name. Have you heard of this? A young man from a very intellectual and wealthy family leaves everything, burns his identification, and without telling any of his family members, changes his name to travel across the States, ultimately landing in Alaska, where he starves to death. Hoo boy. There are so many things about this story that bother me no end: the man wants to live off the land, essentially, and just be one with nature. Thoreau-like, if you will, except as we all know, Thoreau’s mother was always leaving him food and doing his laundry, and his little cabin in the woods was owned by a friend, and in fact Thoreau himself benefitted much from aid from friends and family. It’s funny how our baser needs must be taken care of before we can reach these higher intellectual achievements, and we could talk forever about how women have supported men in those achievements but it doesn’t typically work the other way around, a room of our own, a woman’s work is never done, et cetera, but let’s return to the story at hand before I digress too much.

Anyway, this man who died in Alaska: it turns out that he was about thirty- five kilometres away from the nearest town, that’s ALL. When he finally figured out that living in an abandoned bus, completely unprepared, with no food and no axe and no common sense, wasn’t what he wanted to do, when he figured out that being around other people is actually a good thing, he wasn’t able to cross the river that, three months earlier, had been largely frozen over and not swollen with snowmelt runoff. However, if he had explored less than two kilometres in either direction, he would have found places to cross, where he could have eventually made it back to the highway and, probably, not starved to death. There would have been no story, other people who died trying to find the old abandoned bus after the story became popular would still be alive, Sean Penn would have had one less movie under his directorial bibliography. A butterfly flaps its wings.

Pandemic Reading

Someone had recommended Conviction to me; I cannot remember who it was but I want to thank them. Not my usual type of book but I enjoyed it very much.

If you are looking for a cute, predictable, fluffy romance, this series is for you! It’s nice to just enjoy mind candy once in a while.

Late to the party but I can see why this was so popular. What a well-written and wonderful book. Talk about the role of luck and fortune; this book is full of it.

Pandemic Fitness

This weekend I got on my bike for the first time since last summer, and went riding with my older son. Things were a little muddy due to the torrential rains we have been having, but that just added to the fun.

Case in point: the boys and I went on a little Canada Day hike/ walk to the natural area near our house; it was awesome, yes, but we probably should have brought raincoats, looking at the sky. The heavens opened on us on our way home, and we were absolutely soaked.

Speaking of Canada Day, I will leave you with a photo of Barkley, festively dressed for the occasion.

Have a beautiful week! Here’s to being lucky. xo

We Were On A Break!; Fourteen Weeks In

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One of the worst story lines and subsequent catchphrases that ever came out of a television show was Ross and Rachel’s “we were on a break.” Back my early twenties, when Friends was popular and we all had the Rachel hair style, many, many parallels could be drawn between that show and my life, including but not limited to weird boyfriend possessiveness over academic successes and future careers, breakups and makeups with said boyfriend, jealousy, and the wearing of high-waisted jeans with crop tops. It was a strange time, the Nineties, and when my son watched Friends a few years ago, he agreed that the story line was lame, but pointed out that there were also pet monkeys, many apartment changes, babies that come and go randomly, and the ability to go right up to the gate without actually boarding an airplane. The latter was something that really happened, I told him, to his disbelief.

Last week, we were on a break! We took a road trip to our vacation house, which used to be the Place We Stayed In but due to renovations started last November, that are almost finished, it is now a Vacation House. Honestly, that renovation is worthy of its own post. Previously, the Place We Stayed In had a toilet that flushed maybe a third of the time – at best, usually by the end of our stay it would flush one time in ten – a kitchen that was nearly non-functioning, one bed, located in the TV room, furniture from the 1950s, and a shower that allowed no more than five minutes per use, followed by an hour to drain and reset. The last time we were there, on the last day of our visit during Thanksgiving, the toilet backed up into the shower while I was in it and that was it. The renovations were started.

I am so happy that we spent the money to renovate, because a) who knows when we will go on an Exotic Winter Vacation again, and b) the toilet flushes and we can shower properly now. Who knew how important those things were to our happiness? Plus, a functioning kitchen.

Prepping for a road trip is always a lot of work; prepping for a road trip when you are not planning to go to any stores or eat out at all is something else. I spent weeks making lists about groceries to take, how to keep things frozen and cold for the drive, could we get by with one grocery trip and if so, what was needed, etc. This, in addition to a car full of various housewares, cleaning supplies, dishes, and small appliances that I had been amassing for the Vacation House. Back in November I took advantage of some insane Black Friday sales; some of the new things stayed in our house with our old ones going to the Vacation House, and some things went there. The pile of items to take, that was in my pantry/ storage room at home grew enormous, and now I have that room back.

The kids are officially finished with school now, so it felt like a nice kick-off to what promises to be a strange, but hopefully happy, summer vacation. We had some good quality family time, playing cards and going on hikes and walks. There was one hike that had some pretty tense moments as there was no signage at all and some Discussion about which way to go, a Discussion that did not get better after talking to a man who may or may not have been high, who told us that there was a loop we could do if we followed the path behind him and stayed right. We did that but ended up going at least a half hour in the wrong direction; at one point I had the Gilligan Island theme song stuck in my mind. A three hour tour…would we start having to make radios out of pine cones? We turned around and came back the way we came, got eaten alive by mosquitoes, and when I later remembered later that evening – this would have been good to remember PRIOR to the hike but let us learn from our mistakes – that I had the All Trails app on my phone, I looked at it. There WAS NO LOOP. It was a straight out-and-back and who was that man? Where did he come from?

During the hike the boys had a great time discussing Who We Would Be If We Were On The WWE, the WWE being their new favourite thing, and the debate as to “which one is better, Raw or Smackdown” rages on. They came to the conclusion that my WWE character would be a zen master yogi, and my intro would be Om chants or Indian music while the lights slowly went on to show me in lotus position, meditating. My signature move would be a tree hybrid with my hands in prayer above my head, only to come down in a version of the People’s Elbow or possibly an axe-chop.

Me, in the WWE.

The guys, contemplating life with me in the WWE.

Pandemic Reading

I read this a few years ago and it’s worth a reread. You all know how much I love a good collection of essays; this one is both hilarious and very thought provoking, about life as a woman and as a daughter of immigrants. The stories about waxing and the discovery of a life-changing skirt had me crying with laughter.

I can’t even begin to say how much I liked this book. It was so well done, and I couldn’t put it down. NOTICE THE LIBRARY STICKER. The library is now partially open; holds are available for curbside pickup. A few of my holds have started coming in and I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting it is.

Yummy Things

Since we were in wine country, I drank a lot of wine on our new deck. Related: now that we are home, I am feeling pretty bloated and like I need a whole-body reset.

That’s Tantalus wine in my hand.

This was probably the best Syrah I have ever had in my entire life.

For Father’s Day, my husband grilled his own steaks in the pouring rain while also unclogging the drainpipe that had become plugged with spruce needles and cones, due to all the storms that happened the week we were gone. But he also got a delicious carrot cake, made by moi.

Pandemic Fitness

I forgot to screen shot my weekly movement reports, but lots of walks, hikes, and runs. It only semi-counteracted the wine consumption.

All The Appointments; Twelve Weeks In

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Last week my son had an appointment with an allergist, and the skin prick test did not indicate that he is allergic to the food that we thought caused a reaction a few weeks back. The next step is a blood test, and I have to schedule my own routine blood test, along with my mammogram, and all three guys have eye appointments this week and I have a dentist appointment THIS AFTERNOON and honestly, that would be an overwhelming number of things to do in normal times, let alone now.

I phoned the dentist on Friday, thinking that it would be several weeks before I got an appointment – my husband has one at the end of July – and when the woman on the phone said he can see you next week, how’s Monday afternoon I jumped on it without thinking. I shall report back.

Part of this is fear of the unknown; the lab services place is a gross petrie dish normally, what will it be like now? I’m trying to think optimistically that it will be BETTER, not worse, but still. Someone mentioned to me that with all the mask-wearing and hand-washing, it seems like an eternity since anyone’s had a common cold, and that is true. I cannot remember the last time I was sick, and one of the best things to come out of all this is that people who are sick – coughing and sneezing sick – are not generally going out in public. It was always a peeve of mine, when the children were small, that kids would end up at preschool VISIBLY ill, while their parents would say things like he was vomiting all day yesterday but drank water this morning, I’m sure he’s fine, and oh, it’s just a little bit of sniffles while their febrile child curled up on the circle mats, interrupted only to cough chestily. Now there is enormous peer pressure to keep everyone home, with nothing more than a seasonal allergy sneeze.

Anyway. So many appointments! After only going to the grocery store weekly, this feels like a lively and very busy runaround. So many places to go and things to do. It’s a ridiculous feeling, given what my normal pre-Covid life would have been like in June, although also not ridiculous, because things take so long to accomplish now, and will there be lineups, and should I take a book with me.

How am I possibly going to get back to the regular world? Slowly, I guess.

This week would have been my younger son’s grade nine graduation, and the mother of one of his friends organized an evening last week where the whole gang got together for photos. In a couple of weeks he will go to the school to pick up his yearbook and his certificate, and then it’s goodbye to junior high, I guess. It’s a small thing but still a thing, to be a little bit sad about. Online lessons seem to be wrapping up this week; they’ve gone as well as possible for my kids, every day is a gift, let us not wish our lives away BUT I am looking forward to the day that they are NOT doing online school.

Pandemic Reading

Speaking of landsliding and the kids getting older and I’m getting older too, I read this collection last week:

This is an interesting collection as it was written in 1974, so Alice Munro fans can see the change in style and prose. There is also an underlying counterculture theme in most of the stories, shown in descriptions of hair and clothing, as well as marital dichotomy.

I read this story, The Spanish Lady, when the kids were small and I remember gasping at this paragraph. I dog-eared the book and, coming across it again, I gasped. It is such a perfect description of mothering small children, and it is also a perfect description of motherhood for me now: all that time of care and confusion that seemed as it would never end seems as if it never was. 

LANDSLIDE, OMG, LANDSLIDE.

I have two new David Sedaris books to read: Naked and When You Are Engulfed In Flames, but I’m saving them. For what, I don’t know. Do you do this too? Do you “save” books for a certain time? Anyway, I reread this one last week while I drank copious amounts of coffee – to be possibly slightly regretted this afternoon when I’m having my dental scaling – and green smoothies.

The world does not need to read or hear about a privileged white woman’s outrage about current events and subsequent journey towards understanding and compassion, so I will spare you my thoughts. What I will say is that I acknowledge my extreme privilege and the fact that I have had little to no barriers or disadvantages in my life, and I understand that the world is full of barriers and disadvantages to other women of different races and backgrounds. The entire system is set up with barriers and disadvantages, which makes the reading of this book that much more poignant. This book is an incredible work of art, dealing with two sisters: one who follows Fate as it is determined for her and enters into an arranged marriage and subsequent move from Bangladesh to England to be a dutiful wife and mother, and one who enters into a “love marriage.” It is a gripping book about fate, love, sisterhood, and taking charge of your own destiny. Women are amazing, the world over. The world is full of incredible, strong women who do amazing things, and I am constantly humbled by that.

Yummy Things

There is no way to segue from Brick Lane to Yummy Things, but here we go.

I planted this herb garden a few weeks ago – a few? I have no idea when – including transplanting my grow-op cilantro. It is thriving and I love it. I have many plans for drying herbs and making my own mint extract, and meanwhile I made my very first homemade mojito on Friday.

I added way too much lime but still, it was good.

I bake snacks several times a week, but this was a new record: I took these blueberry-raspberry muffins out of the oven at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, and by 2:30 Saturday there was nothing but crumbs and a lone blueberry in the snack box.

Proof that there is always one spinach leaf that refuses to be blended.

What’s Blooming

The Mayday bloomed two weeks ago and is all finished now, leaving behind a lawn full of petals.

The snowdrop anenomes are waving in the wind.

The biggest of the elephant ears were not blooming, and then suddenly they did.

The roses are still just sticks that are turning slightly green, the hostas are making their way upwards, and, as usual, the neighbourhood is full of beautiful tulip blooms while mine are nothing more than mysteriously flopped foliage.

Pandemic Fitness

Lots of walks and runs this week; I love looking at other peoples’ gardens this time of year. My husband and I have also seen a few coyotes, along with coyote PUPS, the sight of which had us nervously looking around for Mama Coyote. This morning we saw both, but happily Mama was eating what appeared to be a dead squirrel – yay Mama! – and was therefore too occupied to notice us.

Happy June, everyone! xo

Grievances, Big and Small; Ten Weeks In

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Big Grievance: Masks

Despite my diatribes about shopping carts, I like to think that I am a very open-minded person. Unless a person is blatantly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or similar, I am usually able to see things from their point of view, even if I disagree, be it about politics, parenting, books and movies, or moustaches.

Small grievance digression: the boys are STILL sporting moustaches, and have no intentions of shaving “until this is all over” which, really, is so vague as to make me believe that I am going to be looking at Ned Flanders/ Errol Flynn facial hair until the end of time.

Anyway, back to the big grievance. I have a policy not to get into arguments online; such arguments are futile and pointless and only lead to bad feelings. Generally speaking, no online argument has ever changed anyone’s mind and it only serves to fuel feelings of frustration about ignorance and the state of the world. However, a woman who I know vaguely through the yoga community posted a link about Costco requiring masks to shop at its warehouses, with the caption “Not a chance! I will stop shopping there if they push me to wear a mask. How ridiculous!” The comments – don’t read the comments, people – were supportive of this anti-mask stance, in that “we have to stand up for our rights!” Our rights to shop at Costco maskless? I guess.

At this point I wasn’t trying to start an argument, I was curious. Why though? Why no mask? Was there an actual physical issue that precludes mask-wearing? What is the big deal? I equate stores requiring masks with the ubiquitous No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service policy; I really wanted to know her reasoning.

The answer, such as it was, that it was she did not think that masks are useful and that she believes in her right to choose.

Her right to choose, as if this was an abortion issue, not a let’s-wear-masks-during-a-global-pandemic-for-an-hour-to-buy-groceries issue.

Also, you know who DOES think mask-wearing is useful? The entire medical community.

I pressed on a little, and kept getting comments that “people’s rights are being taken away” and “this was oppression,” which, really. Oppression. Rights being taken away. If wearing a mask indicates one’s level of oppression and lack of human rights, then one is living a very charmed and lucky life. Imagine equating a mask with oppression. Imagine talking to a woman from, say, Iran about your rights being taken away.

All this from a yoga teacher, who should, by all definitions, be concerned about the more vulnerable in our society and who also would require people visiting her studio to remove their shoes upon entering. Even in my old stroke survivor yoga class, students removed their shoes upon entering the studio, the only exception being a person who was in a scooter and whose feet never touched the floor. If we yoga teachers can require shoe removal as a sign of respect and cleanliness, then I think we could also put something over our noses and mouths in a time where an extremely contagious respiratory virus is rampant.

Well, I don’t unfriend people easily – it took me twelve years to unfriend my cousin who constantly spewed anti-vaccination information and promoted his diet as precluding the need for vaccinations and modern medicine – but this was a no-brainer. I have no time for this. However, there is always a bright side. Based on the people who are going to boycott Costco for mask requirements, there should be fewer people in the queue to get in; fewer STUPID and SELFISH people in the queue. Oppression of human rights indeed.

(I don’t know who to credit for this image but I like it)

Small Grievance: Child Benefit

I do not ever apply for the Canada Child Benefit while filling out my tax return. As far as I can see, I do not qualify for anything, which is perfectly fine, of course. So when I received an envelope from Revenue Canada, I stared at it before opening. Did I file something wrong? Nothing strikes fear in the heart quite like an unexpected envelope from Revenue Canada. What I found inside was startling: my Child Benefit had been calculated, and my annual entitlement was to be deposited into my account shortly. My annual entitlement of $3.28.

$3.28! I’m sure the costs of calculation, mailing, and depositing far exceeded that amount, but okay. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a very small latte, or a block of tofu and a pack of gum.

Very Small Grievance: Rogue Spinach Leaves

Every day I make myself a green smoothie and every day, every single day, there is one spinach leaf that gets stuck on the side of the blender and refuses to be a part of it. That is, when I’m lucky it’s stuck on the side of the blender; sometimes it drops into the smoothie, unperceived by me until I drink it and get a soft, weird-tasting leaf in my mouth.

I’ve tried everything, and still, one leaf.

Not Really A Grievance: Goutweed

My very lovely elderly neighbour, many years ago, transplanted and watered a particularly invasive and ugly non-variegated variety of goutweed in the space between our houses. She is unable to do yardwork now, and the goutweed had spread and grown and started to choke out our shrubs and the variegated, snow-on-the-mountain goutweed that was also growing in that space. It had also started to creep into one of my gardens, and something had to be done. The boys and I spent two and a half hours yesterday digging it out. Have you ever tried to dig out goutweed? There is a reason it is used as an aggressive groundcover. As I said, this is not really a grievance, as I really enjoy this type of work, and it was a Project that was Very Satisfying to complete. My muscles are a TINY bit sore though; apparently goutweed can be used medicinally for inflammation. This seems like the ultimate irony.

Pandemic Reading

If we want to talk about oppression…this book deals with an “honour killing.” It’s quite fascinating and explores a community in which rules are rigid and women’s rights are non-existent.

A woman deals with her nasty husband’s sudden and extreme spiritual awakening; this book is very witty and also ended much differently than I thought it would, which I genuinely like.

This was okay, a light weekend-style read.

Yummy Things

Other than yesterday, the week was cold and rainy, which I usually find Oppressive Like Masks, but for some reason I instead found the rain to be energizing and invigorating. I went for walks in the rain – what have I become – and I leaned in hard to Cozy Rainy Day activities. I made three different kinds of ice cream – mint, strawberry, and vanilla caramel swirl – baked a lot, and made jam.

Also, three perfect avocados! At the same time!

Our Sunday dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries, a very nice treat after all that digging.

Pandemic Fitness

My Sunday walk took me to the university; I hadn’t been on campus since 1998, and I was surprised to see so many changes, so many new and beautiful buildings. It was good to see my old stomping grounds to be basically unchanged – except for the absence of the Prairie Chicken! – and just as ugly as it used to be. Ah, I can feel the dinginess of those windowless offices just by looking at this.

Never did I think I would become a woman who would wear her son’s outgrown windbreaker to run in the drizzle, but here we are.

I hope you are all having a fabulous, unoppressed week. Fight the power! xo