Category Archives: I almost failed Home Ec

The Case of the Missing Gourds; Eighty-Four Weeks In

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I don’t want to alarm anybody, but something is eating my decorative gourds.

I started out with eight white mini-pumpkins, and I am down to two. My husband suggested someone was STEALING them, but I think that is unnecessarily suspicious of people in my neighbourhood, and also, if our home is going to be the the victim of theft, I don’t think it is the mini-pumpkins that are going to be targeted.

No, something is eating them, and the proof was staring us into the face when we noticed two large bites taken out of the decorative red gourd. At first I was willing to believe that a murder of crows was carrying off the mini-pumpkins, but the nature of the bite marks on the red gourd do not suggest a bird. Perhaps it is one of the many wild rabbits in the neighbourhood. I was prepared to cast the blame on my usual nemeses, the squirrels, but people, this is no squirrel.

I sprinkled cayenne on the gourds to deter predators, but on the upside, if this carnage continues, I will not have to worry about composting anything come November 1.

It has been an interesting week, and not just because of the disappearing gourds. We had a municipal election, which I voted for in the advance polls and as such kept forgetting that the election was not over. Why are there still signs around? Oh yeah. I knew the platforms of the frontrunners – enough to make an informed choice – but I have not been paying attention to the news at all as a self-care measure, and so I was very surprised to see 27 mayoral candidates. TWENTY-SEVEN. Who are these people and where did they all come from?

I was driving to the Superstore, which is ten minutes from my house, and noticed a big sign for one of the mayoral candidates that I never had heard of before. This gentleman’s tagline was “Calgary’s Cheapest Mayor” which, what. Who is doing your PR, sir?

Actually, whoever is doing the PR must have known that someone like me would immediately look up this gentleman’s platform because CHEAPEST MAYOR WHAT. I spent far too much time thinking that maybe he’s a guy who gives holiday cards saying that in lieu of gifts, a donation has been made to the Human Fund, or when splitting the cheque at dinner he pays exactly the amount for his entree, without tax or tip, or doesn’t offer to pay for part of the appetizer even though he ate half of it. Maybe all of those things are true, but they were not on his platform. It should be obvious but he was running on a platform of low expenditures and taxes, but what I did not know was that this person refused to door knock or go to any in-person interviews or meetings at all due to the pandemic. Maybe he didn’t want to spend money on gas? He did not win, nor did he even come into the top 20, but I shall give a little nod to his determination.

Speaking of Superstore, this week I earned an unprecedented 40,400 PC Points, and for those of you who are not in Canada or who do not shop at Superstore (who hurt you?) there is an app that tracks all your purchases, Big Brother-like, and then offers you points for things you regularly buy, which can be exchanged for store credit. For example, this week my offers include 200 points for every $1 spent on grapes and 1000 points for every $5 spent on the brand of yogurt I buy, among others. You get the idea. Anyone who spends a few months examining the patterns of the offers can figure out the basic algorithm, which is what I have done, and I shop accordingly to maximize my points and why are you looking at me like that. Anyway, I have been holding out on buying a few cosmetic items – Neutrogena products, mostly, but also hair colour – because I knew the points offers would be soon and THIS WAS THE WEEK.

My husband is of the belief that if I ever won the lottery, I would be more excited to receive the funds in PC Points than in actual cash, which is untrue, but also not totally untrue, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of my husband, it was his birthday this week, and you know what that means! Cake!

Since the rule in this house is that birthdays are celebrated for at least a week in some way, I also baked a pie on the weekend, and that, along with cooking some giant meals, meant a lot of time in the kitchen. Yesterday alone I washed dishes SEVEN TIMES. I am thinking that next weekend, I might heat up some frozen pizzas, set out some pre-made salads and Halloween candy, and call it a day.

Pandemic Reading

In The Country of Others. I have always been interested in Morocco, and this book gives incredible depth and detail to that country post-World War II, leading up to the revolt against French colonialism. It follows a war bride Frenchwoman who marries a Moroccan man and goes to live in a desolate farm in that country. It was well done and contained many layers, but I found the writing to be somewhat…disjointed, maybe? I can’t think of the right description. It almost felt like a series of vignettes linked together, and it did feel like it was a translation and that English is not the first language of the author, which it is not. The themes are very dark and disturbing – triggers include domestic abuse – and it is very nuanced as well. So much symbolism, for those of you who like that. I liked it, but did not love it, and I’ll be thinking about it for a while.

What Fresh Hell Is This? Oh, you guys. This book is really incredible: so empowering and liberating. From managing perimenopause in a patriarchal society that diminishes aging women to examining your own life and lighting a match to what doesn’t serve you, to realizing that menopause is not a disease or a defect, but a normal part of life – albeit one with effects that can be mildly bothersome to downright dreadful – this book is enlightening. It also is inclusive of people who experience menopause and do not identify as women or were not female at birth, which I am sorry to say, is a point of view I had not considered. It gives great advice about managing effects of menopause in a way that is in no way patronizing, and includes topics that can be very sensitive, like the feeling of becoming invisible or losing our looks or femininity. I especially liked how the author talked about the importance of social support and referenced the Golden Girls episode when Blanche realized she was going through The Change. There were a few things that did not feel relevant for my life, like the idea of opening up my monogamous relationship to explore my sexuality, for example, but the entire attitude shift that is celebrated in this book was really great. Thanks to my friend Cherie (HI CHERIE) for the recommendation!

On that note, I hope you have an empowered and liberated week, this last week of October! May the Halloween candy last until Sunday. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “I Love My Garden” Edition

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Well, as I write this it is 7 degrees Celsius and we had a huge hailstorm this weekend that mushed flat all my garden beds and flowers. Prior to this, with the heat and the no mosquitoes, I was thinking what was wrong with me all these years, Calgary is not so bad, look at this beautiful summer, and well. Well, complaining gets us nowhere AND I have enjoyed my summer and my garden immensely, and seasons change and so do I. Calgary has many great things about it; the weather is not generally one of them.

Sometimes during the summer I wonder what I do with my time when I don’t have the garden to tend to, which is how I feel now with the weather changed and no need to water or work in the garden. What DO I do with my time? Oh yeah, I usually have a job.

Anyway, I love my garden immoderately. I have been working on the flower beds for twenty years – twenty! – and over the last two years I have delved into herb gardening. This year, as you know, I started my first vegetable garden and it has been so satisfying. I mean, it’s not like we are saving lots of money growing our own vegetables, because it was kind of expensive to build the garden beds and fill them, but it’s been so much fun.

Let’s tour around my garden, shall we?

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “I Love My Garden” Edition

The Perennials

My entire goal with perennials is to have something blooming at all times of the year, so I mix up early and late bloomers, as well as long bloomers, and so there is always something pretty and colourful to look at.

Early spring:

June:

July:

August:

The roses bloom from July until September, as does the yarrow and ornamental sage.

My hostas and creeping Jenny are quite stunted this year, partly because of the hot, dry weather, and partly because Barkley, in his dotage, has decided to walk through them several times a day. If admonished, he stands in them, staring at me in a what are you going to do kind of way, and since there is nothing I am going to do to discipline a 13-year-old dog with cancer, I guess I’ll live with my stunted shade garden.

Speaking of Barkley, every single day when we are walking – every day! – someone will stop me to ask “what’s wrong with your dog?” and it gets very tiresome. While I appreciate the sentiment of concern, I very much dislike the conversation that follows, and I am much too polite not to answer. I prefer the days when people would stop me to tell me how cute he is or to ask about his breed. He’s still cute and I still think Labradoodles are a wonderful breed! Please don’t ask about his giant growth on his side.

The Annuals

Over the years I have used annuals to fill in the blanks in my perennial garden beds, but now there…are no blanks. I use annuals mostly in containers in our very dry and shady front yard, as well as this pretty little one in our very sunny back yard:

The Herbs

I cook every single day but apparently, I don’t use many fresh herbs. The past few years I’ve been buying an assorted ten-pack of herbs from a fundraiser, and while I’ve enjoyed the element of surprise as to which herbs I’ve received, I’m not going to do that again. I only ever use fresh cilantro, basil, and oregano, and the rest I just water and…do nothing with. Well, not nothing. I am in the process of drying all the herbs for winter use – I do use a lot of dried herbs, but I don’t tend to use recipes with dried herbs in the summer.

If you’re interested in drying herbs, I really recommend a dehydrator. Also? Basil is a bitch to dry, with the thick leaves. As an example, parsley takes about two hours to dry in a dehydrator, and basil takes…a lot longer. I have no idea how much longer because I kept checking it over the course of two days, discovering the leaves still weren’t dry, and then restarting the dehydrator, only to forget about it for hours at a time.

Last year I attempted mint extract and it was a complete failure. I am not sure if it was user error or if I had the wrong kind of mint; I have so much mint this year and nothing to do with it. I might try the extract again, but I’m not sure if I want to waste the vodka on it.

The Veggies

This is my first year of veggie gardening; the guys built and filled five garden boxes for me, and I really recommend this kind of gardening. I’m a bendy kind of girl, but having the raised beds is just wonderful. Also, Barkley pees on the side of the garden boxes, and if the beds were in the ground he would be peeing on our vegetables, which seems suboptimal.

This year we grew radishes, carrots, beets, lettuce, kale, peas, potatoes, tomatoes, and zucchini with a lot of success, although I will say that next year I will use seed tape for the smaller seeds as I am terrible at thinning things out. I also tried peppers and cucumbers, which were unsuccessful – unsurprising, perhaps, but if there was any summer they could grow it would have been this one, with the heat.

I think next year I will increase the amount of kale, decrease the carrots, and omit the radishes altogether. I thought I would enjoy growing carrots more than I do; although if I use seed tape it’s sure to be more satisfying than my tiny, unthinned carrots.

Our growing season is so short here; at best, I have another month, but realistically we could get frost any day now, and snow in September is not unusual. I’ve made the best of the growing season, and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts! Do you garden? Tell me everything. xo

Friday the 13th Fun: Ask Me Anything, and Five For Friday

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It has been SO LONG since I’ve spontaneously written a post, and on a Friday to boot! Since the pandemic, I have had very limited blocks of time and physical space in which to write, and it’s all I can do to write weekly recaps and monthly Favourite Things. Do not get me wrong, dear readers, I am here to entertain, but my blog is primarily a journal of my life, and at some point when this pandemic is no longer at the disco, I will want to look back at the weekly recaps to see where we were at during different time periods.

However! The stars have aligned and I have some time and space to write, so write I shall.

Ask Me Anything

I was inspired by my friend Suz (HI SUZ) to open up this space a little by asking you to Ask Me Anything. Ask me a question and the answer will be the subject of an upcoming blog! IS there anything you don’t know and want to know? I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I’m not too shy with details, so hopefully there is a stone or two left unturned.

Five For Friday

I was also inspired by Stephany (HI STEPHANY) to write a “Five For Friday” post. Fun fact: both Stephany and Suz live in Florida, which is about as far away from me as one can get before leaving the continent. Don’t you just love the virtual world, how we can be essentially pen pals with people from all over?

1) It looks like I will be teaching four yoga classes a week, in person, starting in September. I am very mixed about it, given the current “fourth wave” of Covid cases, but also I cannot bear the thought of teaching online anymore. I know several friends who have thrived as online yoga teachers, but I frankly find it stressful and exhausting, especially for my seniors. My very favourite thing about teaching yoga is seeing my students and having that connection with them (cue The Bachelor music) and so teaching online has been very difficult emotionally for me. And yet, with Covid cases surging once again, well…I feel like I am at a crossroads, to be honest. We shall see how it goes. If I’ve learned anything over the past *checks blog* seventy-three weeks, it’s that nothing is forever and changes can always be made and I am much more adaptable than I think I am.

2) I have discovered that I am an Extroverted Introvert. I desperately need time by myself to recharge; hence my early morning rising, my affinity for solo exercise, and all the time I spend reading, but at the same time, I love people. I love being around people, and on that note, we are having dinner guests this weekend for the first time since February 2020. I’m excited, not only to see this lovely couple, but also because two of the dishes I’m making feature vegetables from my garden; specifically kale and zucchini. You guys, I have so much zucchini. I think zucchini is the most satisfying thing to grow, other than leaf lettuce, as it is so prolific.

3) Every day I feel gratitude to the universe that I do not have a nut allergy. Nuts comprise a huge part of my diet, but I am starting to move away from almond milk. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still eating almonds and almond butter, but I feel like my past consumption of almond milk is somewhat environmentally disastrous. I’ve started using macadamia nut milk in my smoothies – is it better than almond? I hope so. – and you guys, it is revolutionary. It’s so rich and creamy, with a really delicious flavour, and it has the same amount of calcium as almond milk, which is what attracted me to almond milk in the first place.

4) Speaking of calcium, I have been reading a lot about osteoporosis and menopause, and the importance of a strength routine for healthy bone density. To that end, my sons created an upper body strength routine for me and good lord, do I hate it. I mean, I’m DOING it, and maybe I’ll grow to like it, but I find strength training so very boring. I listen to upbeat music while “lifting” (can you call it “lifting” if you use five pound weights?) and that helps somewhat. It feels like a chore; any suggestions to make strength training more interesting, I’m all ears.

Meep meep! I’m a big weight!

5) My aunt sent me some royal family memorabilia, and I’m thrilled. After some thought and a poll on Instagram, I have decided that I am going to USE the mugs, maybe not every day, but I’m not going to just put them in a cupboard. Can we all agree that we should use the good things, the things that make us happy, every day? I don’t want to be like one of those old ladies who keeps the furniture covered with plastic or the table covered with a wipeable tablecloth just to “save it.” Imagine going through your whole life and dying, having never drank coffee out of your Queen Elizabeth mug. That feels tragic.

Happy Friday, everyone! I’ll be enjoying this immensely beautiful weather with a few backyard cocktails today while watching my zucchini grow. Don’t forget – ask me anything! And tell me: do you use the Good Stuff? xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Summer Solstice Edition

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Something that I genuinely enjoy even though it’s universally considered to be a terrible invasion of privacy is targeted advertising on social media. I find it absolutely fascinating, what social media thinks that I am interested in. I mean, usually they are correct; my advertising tends towards yoga gear and Peloton and plant-based foods, and sometimes they will have clothing that is “tailored for the mature woman.” After a private chat with my dear friends Hannah and Allison (HI HANNAH HI ALLISON) about old-fashioned candy, I had a lot of candy advertising.

Recently I wrote about clothing and trends and high waisted shorts, and so I was given this gift of an advertisement:

Let us just imagine, for one moment, dear readers, that it is summer and we are wearing these shorts whilst sitting on a vinyl or leather seat, or perhaps getting into the car on a hot summer’s day. Let us just imagine unsticking ourselves from such seats. Let us just imagine wearing these to the grocery store, or to a casual barbeque, or maybe just for a walk around the neighbourhood. What a gift to the world these shorts are.

Also, what a gift that those shorts are beside a perfectly normal floral dress. This might be my favourite advertisement of all time.

On that note: it’s that time again!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Summer Solstice Edition

Yes, we are a few days away from Solstice, but today is the Full Moon, so I’m FULL of energy! Because although I am a woman who has two degrees in economics, a strong belief in science, and is a grounded Taurus, I also have that hippie I can feel the moon’s energy vibe. What can I say, I’m a fun dichotomy.

If Anyone Needs Me, I’ll Be In My Garden

It would be hard to overstate how happy my garden makes me. If I lived in a place where the growing season was longer than three or four months, I’d probably be constantly spinning around like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.

Right now my Siberian irises are in full bloom, my columbines have started to bloom, and I have harvested some teeny-tiny radishes, kale, and lettuce.

Lesson for next year: plant MORE kale and lettuce, because they grow really well in our climate. The green pepper, well. Not so well. See that little stick? That’s my green pepper plant. I don’t know WHAT happened; the red pepper right beside it is doing fine.

Don’t you love those little labels?

I harvested kale to make this salad for a hiking day with my dear friend Janet (HI JANET). Later my husband asked if I enjoyed my $400 salad. I sure did! This garden is really paying off!

Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy

This is SUCH a great time for berries and cherries; although they don’t reliably grow here, they’re growing somewhere, and I love it. Strawberries in particular are really good right now, and cherries are starting to make their appearance in the grocery store.

Oh My God Becky, Look At Her Butt.

Feet Don’t Fail Me Now

It’s no-sock season! I swear one of the greatest things about summer is not having to put on a ton of layers to go outside, and to just slip on a pair of shoes or sandals without socks involved. However, summer can be a bit hard on the feet in terms of dryness and callouses. I’ve definitely mentioned this before but O’Keefe’s Healthy Feet is really great for cracked heels and dry skin, and it has a nice minty scent as well.

Since mid-January, I have been getting pedicures from a woman who opened her little shop just up the street from me in – get this – November 2020. Essentially as soon as she opened, she was shut down, and she was reopened only to be shut down again. So, in the interest in supporting local business and also having pretty feet, I have been getting pedicures done, but in between times, to maintain softness, I’ve been using Rocky Mountain Body Butter on my feet.

I like the lemongrass scent for summer, and the vanilla coconut for other seasons, because I am a princess who likes choices. If you, like me, kind of hate applying thick foot cream with your hands, this is the product for you! It’s like using a deodorant stick on your feet! Just be sure to put on socks afterwards, so as to not a) slip and fall on your floor, and b) leave greasy footprints on the floor. Ask me how I know this!

Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy.

In the summer I generally wear a lot of sleeveless tank tops, and I spend as much time as possible outside, and so sunscreen on my shoulders is a must. I love Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen, mostly because the coconut scent brings me back to winter vacations in non-pandemic times. Also, it’s not a heavy, sticky sunscreen, and it is moisturizing.

Great For Showers, Weird For Dishes

This has nothing to do with Summer Solstice, but it is a recent discovery. A while back Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) mentioned Dawn Powerwash, and Gigi (HI GIGI) chimed in by saying the product is really good for cleaning shower doors. You had me at shower doors, Gigi.

We have such hard water here, and so the shower doors always have hard water deposits, along with, of course, soap scum. I bought a bottle and people, it is pretty amazing. I couldn’t believe how well it works! It is supposed to be used to wash dishes, but I find it kind of bizarre: spray the product on dirty dishes, wipe off the dishes, rinse the dishes. It seems like way more work to wash dishes that way than, you know, in a sink, but I am not here to judge your dishwashing methodology. I am here to tell you that Gigi was right, it is amazing in the shower. Plus, since it’s a dish soap, it doesn’t have that crazy toxic feel that a lot of bathroom cleaners have.

Those are all my favourite things this month; what are yours? xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Mayday, M’aidez Edition

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If you have ever read The Handmaid’s Tale, you will remember that the code word for the underground movement was Mayday; Mayday originating from the French m’aidez, meaning “help me.”

I, along with everyone else in the world, have Massive Pandemic Fatigue. My husband is at the apex of his very important work project that he has been working on for the past three and a half years. My kids are – apparently – going back to in-person school on Tuesday, and even when they are home they are, as they should be, absorbed in and busy with their own lives. With everyone else busy I am the Household Support Person, which is the way that it always has been, really. It’s just that, unlike in other chapters in my life, that is pretty much all that I am these days.

Do you know what I mean? Everyone else is busy doing important things and I am buying groceries, which is important in its own way, yes, but also, am I spending my one wild and precious life in the grocery store? Kind of. The kids are learning new things and preparing to spread their wings and I am timing my purchase of dog food to coincide with 15% off treat day at Pet Planet.

So I am the Household Support Person; I’m the sounding board for issues, I am the person who knows when the winter blankets need to be swapped out or when the Roomba needs to run. I know when the towels need changing and while I don’t financially put the food on the table, I physically do. I meal plan and make corresponding grocery lists, I know when toiletries need replenishing and when to order more medication for the dog. I know when appointments need to be made and I make them, I do all of those things and it’s fine. It’s totally fine! It’s just strange to be in a stage where this is my main role.

I am down to teaching two classes a week, and honestly, that is all I feel I can handle right now. I am so lucky to be able to teach zoom yoga, and still keep my beloved students, but my favourite thing about teaching was physically observing my students and then coming up with different ways for different bodies to experience the postures, in a way that would be best for individual students. I am so grateful to still be teaching, I bring all my same energy and enthusiasm to every class, but fourteen months of teaching to a screen and missing the physical presence of students is wearing on my spirit.

M’aidez! We are all fatigued, I know it. And when I feel the most fatigued and sapped of energy, I remember my Little Helpers. I have little treats and things that I look forward to on a daily and weekly basis that help with the tiresome, repetitive aspects of day-to-day life; Mother’s Little Helpers, if you will, in a non-Valium way.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Mayday, M’aidez Edition

Coffee Coffee Coffee #coffee

It’s no secret that I love coffee, but not fancy coffee or complicated coffee: I like my Kirkland Signature black coffee, the more the better. The great thing about being a coffee drinker is that every single day I have something small to look forward to; when I wake up I think ooh, coffee. Starting the coffeemaker is the very first thing I do every morning, before drinking two glasses of water and washing my face. But the best part about a daily coffee habit, other than the actual sweet sweet hit of caffeine? Choosing a mug.

Sure, I could use one of the plain mugs that match our dishware, but why. Why wouldn’t I choose something fun? Every one of these mugs has a little backstory, and I think of them every time I choose one.

This little guy is my favourite, don’t tell the others. I painted it myself one day when I took the kids to one of those paint-your-own-ceramics places. I love it so much that my sweet friend Andrea (HI ANDREA) painted this for me:

Tea For One

Most afternoons, while I’m making dinner or reading, I will make myself a cup of tea. Do you know what I love about drinking tea? You can choose teas that make you feel good about yourself and your life choices.

You are having a cup of tea, but you are also detoxing! Or soothing your stress! I mean, do they work? Who knows. But look! I’m cleansing, detoxing, calming, embracing my womanhood, boosting my metabolism, reviving myself, all by drinking a cup of tea. It’s enough to make you feel downright smug. I love coffee so much but coffee doesn’t have that same I am changing my whole LIFE with this tea feeling. I also love my little turtle mug; it has a lid on it to keep warm while it steeps, and the turtle changes colour with hot water.

Wine

While we are on the topic of drinks, hi.

It’s no secret that I love wine; if I could drink it every single day with no consequences, I would. However, there are lots of reasons not to do that: my liver, for one, but also skin elasticity, hot flashes, inflamed joints, and recycling all those bottles. So, I limit myself to once a week, generally Fridays, and let me tell you, I look forward to wine time like nobody’s business.

This is my favourite wine of all time, Vineyard Estates Cabernet Franc. Fun fact: the winemaker there is a lifelong friend of my husband’s, their dads were also lifelong friends, and their GRANDPAS were pioneers in the Canadian grape and wine industries. It’s just really nice to have that family connection, but also, this wine is the best. Because of weird Canadian rules, it is not available in liquor stores here, so we get it specially shipped. Well, my husband does this. I may be the Household Support Person but he’s my Wine Support Person!

Fancy Water

A few summers ago someone introduced me to La Croix, and I cannot go back to regular soda water. I can’t! I won’t! This makes me feel fancy, when I want to have a drink but it’s not Wine Time. It’s the perfect non-alcoholic backyard summer beverage, and the coconut, grapefruit, and razz-cranberry flavours are LIFE.

It’s Popping

Okay, yes, I have an air popper and yes, I have popcorn kernels and butter and coconut oil and seasoning salts and what have you, but sometimes I just do not want to be bothered. It doesn’t SEEM like a big deal to make popcorn but when it’s Friday night and I’m on my third glass of wine and I’m getting really invested in an episode of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives (Will it be a one-way ticket to Flavourtown?), it becomes a big deal. Popping popcorn and then cleaning up the detritus is just one toke over the line, sweet Jesus.

You know how some people are Sweet People, and some people are Salty People? I am definitely Salty, although perhaps not personality-wise. I love Angie’s Boom Chicka Pop because it’s delicious, it’s relatively healthy – even the kettle corn version which, goddamn, it’s amazingly sweet AND salty – and I almost always get PC Points when I buy it at Superstore. IT JUST DOESN’T GET BETTER THAN THAT.

I Scream You Scream

So I am not generally a sweets person, but I do look forward to weekly desserts that I make on Sundays. Listen, I make homemade ice cream all the time, there are five different flavours sitting in my freezer right this second, but dairy and I are not friends, and so while I make all this ice cream, I never eat it. Yes, I know how to make and I have made non-dairy ice cream and it’s fine, it’s better than fine, but sometimes I just want to grab a couple of scoops and that’s all. You know what I mean? Sure, it’s easy to make homemade non-dairy ice cream, but do you know what is easier? Buying this at Superstore.

Non-dairy ice creams have come a long way since I first gave up dairy. Back then, non-dairy ice creams tasted exactly like sadness. Not anymore! This product, made from coconut milk, is so absolutely creamy and delicious, I think I hear angels sing when I eat it.

So many treats! And today is Friday so I will be indulging myself later; in the meantime I will enjoy the scent of my Mayday tree in full bloom. It’s something I look forward to every spring; it’s a breath of life. What treats get you through the day? Tell me everything. xo

Ups and Downs; Sixty-One Weeks In

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Good News/ Bad News

The bad news is that, with the latest lockdown restrictions, lineups to get into Costco are back.

The good news is that I was there right at opening and so the lineup moved quite quickly, and, more importantly, there are no shortages of anything that I could see. The fact that there are no shortages, and there haven’t been for many months, has motivated me to use up all my stockpiled pantry staples in a way that is deeply uncomfortable for me. This week alone I used up the last of my stores of the following: spaghetti, chickpeas, and taco seasoning. That’s right: there are none of those items left in the house. I felt a little Pandemic At The Disco at using up the last two cans of chickpeas, but I did some deep breathing and reminded myself that I could simply buy more this week, there is no chickpea shortage, and there has never been a chickpea shortage. It’s a whole mindset change and I do not know how long it will take me to get over it.

What’s Up, Doc

Perishables, however, are another matter. If you have small children – particularly, it seems, boys – and you despair of their picky eating habits and you wonder if it’s okay that they seem to survive on air and the occasional strawberry yogurt, I am here to hug you and say: wait until the teen years. My god. Every Wednesday I find myself playing Tetris with my two fridges, using up every square inch of space as I put away the groceries, and then one week later, both fridges look like they belong to Old Mother Hubbard. This week I went to Costco AND Superstore, and after a solid three hours of driving, shopping, standing in line, unloading and putting everything away, I stood at the fridge for a moment and realized something: I forgot to buy carrots.

You may be thinking, so what, but let me tell you: carrots are right up there with bananas as a produce staple in this house. We go through four pounds of carrots a week, and buying carrots is a reflex for me, one that apparently was broken this week. I have no excuse; I bought sweet potatoes and ginger root, both of which are in the same aisle as the carrots. Carrots were, as they always are, on my paper grocery list. I didn’t know what happened but I did know that this could not stand.

But I’ve already been to two places today, I thought to myself. Then I thought of May (HI MAY) and her comment about measured decisions in a low-risk way that don’t totally abide by the rules does not mean we are on the slippery slope to anarchy. I put on my mask and boots, grabbed my purse, started my Garmin, and speed-walked over to the local Co-Op where I grabbed a bag of carrots and an avocado (I am not made of stone, Co-Op avocados are second to none) and walked back home, all in the span of thirteen minutes and thirty-six seconds.

Important Garden Update

I am so excited to tell you that all the vegetable seeds I have planted have sprouted! I go out to look at my new garden boxes at least twice a day to check their progress. Little green shoots! It’s so exciting. Not only that, Saturday was Pick-Up Day for the flowers, herbs, and veggies I bought for the Growing Smiles Fundraiser – the BEST fundraiser there is, in my humble opinion – and, well, let’s just say my trunk was full.

We are not out of the woods yet in terms of frost and snow, but I rolled the dice and planted some pansies on a beautiful Friday morning in various spots in the front yard. Pansies, it seems, can withstand anything except heat and drought, which isn’t really an issue in May in Calgary. I am enjoying their happy little faces every time I go up my front walk.

Oh! Oh! Another upside to having teenagers who go through hundreds of dollars of groceries a week is that I always get the “free” gift with $300 purchase at Superstore, and this week’s gift was flowers!

Our gardening season is so short here that I am going to squeeze every last moment of pleasure out of it.

LFG

This week vaccine eligibility opened up for the age 12+ group, and let’s fucking gooooo. I chose not to spend my entire Monday refreshing a screen to get appointments, and so when I went to book – the day AFTER bookings opened – I got them in at the end of the month in Red Deer, the small city ninety minutes north of us. Huh. Well, road trip, I thought, and then later that week my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) mentioned that she was able to get her kids in at the pharmacy down the street from me. LFG. I HAD phoned them the previous week and was put on “an email list” but no email ever came and, you know what, it’s a pandemic, things happen. I popped in to the pharmacy – IN PERSON – and got them appointments for YESTERDAY, which means all four of us have had our first shots, and I am SO relieved and happy. PLUS my parents got their second shot, which fills me with immense joy. Steps forward.

OOTW

I mentioned to Swistle (HI SWISTLE) the other day that choosing a mask to wear is the best part of wearing a mask. I mean, it’s certainly not the wearing of the mask that is the great part. But choosing a mask and coordinating it with your outfit, well, that’s fun. And sometimes, sometimes the mask coordinates so perfectly that it becomes part of the Outfit of the Week:

Just look at that match!

That’s a very, very old Lululemon tank – I’ve had it since at least 2010 – under a light Gap sweater that really, really requires something like a tank underneath, unless I want to be obscene and horrify myself, my children, and everyone around me. Fortunately I rarely wear a bra anymore, only tanks under tops, so it works. Those leggings are also at least a decade old; I know some people have much to say about Lulu but their quality is unmatched.

Pandemic Reading

A Short History of Nearly Everything. I loved Bill Bryson’s The Body so much that I immediately put A Short History of Nearly Everything on hold, without looking into what it was about. I figured it would be human history, and I eagerly looked forward to ancient civilizations, the Roman Empire, the Renaissance, etc., up to modern times. So imagine my dismay when I opened the nearly 600 page book to discover that it’s literally a history (a short one) of nearly everything – i.e., the universe – and well over half the book deals with cosmology, astronomy, geology, and physics, subjects of which I have low interest. Eeep. Luckily for me, Bryson’s incredible writing made such topics engaging, accessible, and entertaining. It’s an excellent book that can make such dull – to me – subjects fun. Next time you’re having a bad day, just be glad you’re not the guy who sailed from France to India to watch and calculate the transit of Venus, only to a) miss it, b) wait eight years for the next one and have the sky cloud over and miss it again, c) contract dysentery and suffer for a year, d) get almost shipwrecked on the way home, e) get home after 11 1/2 years, having accomplished nothing at all, only to discover your family assumed you died and they plundered your estate. Or the people who spent nine years trying to measure the earth at the equator, and just before finalizing their results got scooped by another team doing the same thing at the poles. According to my friends who are actual scientists, this is something that happens a lot: you spend your entire career working on something and you a) get scooped, i.e., someone gets the results before you do, b) get your results disproved, or c) never get the results at all. Well, I’m glad that is not my career of choice.

The 4% Fix: How One Hour Can Change Your Life. I have enjoyed all of Karma Brown’s novels – especially Come Away With Me and Recipe For A Perfect Wife – so I was eagerly looking forward to her first non-fiction book. I was not disappointed! There is so much good stuff in here, from the time suck that is the Internet and my phone to prioritizing and focussing, this book is really great and motivating. The key that Brown focussed on is getting up early, so I feel seen and validated. I get up at 4:30 every day, and have for well over a decade. I started early rising when the kids were small, to practice yoga. It was literally the only time I had to myself in those days and it made me a better mother: more patient and happier, as I had my time before anyone woke up. Brown likens a day to a cake sliced in 24 pieces, and by getting up and using that first hour, you’ve served yourself first. I LOVE that concept. It really resonates for me. This book is about working towards your goals and if I’m being honest, I’m a bit goal-less at the moment. But I like to think my early morning yoga practice ultimately led to my current job as a yoga teacher. So maybe I’m not so goal-less? With or without goals, I really liked this.

The Push. Well, Allison warned me. (HI ALLISON). Allison warned me but did I listen? No. This is a crazily disturbing and absorbing book. She said “I thought The Push was well written and I wish I’d never read it and that I could erase it from my brain” and that pretty much sums it up. I am not generally a Psychological Thriller type, and this is a very well done Psychological Thriller in that I couldn’t put it down, but also, I kind of had nightmares after reading it.

And here we are, Monday morning after a very restless Sunday night sleep. I hope you have a week ahead of you that has way more ups than downs. Be well, take care. xo

Dented Self-Esteem; Fifty-Nine Weeks In

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That’s A Dent To The Self-Esteem

I was asked if I wanted the seniors’ discount last week at Shoppers, so perhaps my skin-care routine isn’t working the way I had hoped.

The worst part is that I didn’t even get the discount. After the woman said “Are we doing the seniors’ discount today?” in the pleasantest voice, unaware of my dented self-esteem, I hesitated and said “Um, sure,” at which point she looked at me suspiciously and told me, sternly that I needed to be 55 plus. The only thing that would have been more awkward about this exchange is if she asked for proof of ID, and I would have been exposed as a liar for a discount that I never asked for in the first place, while a lineup of people idled behind me. I mean, it’s only ten percent, what price my dignity here? How badly do I want that extra $4.50?

Why did you ASK then? I did NOT say, but thought, because kindness is important even when a person is implying that you are nine years older than you actually are, and working in customer service is difficult at the best of times, and we have been in a global pandemic for fifty-nine weeks. I admitted that no, I was not 55, and then the woman proceeded to ask three times if I wanted a bag, which I did not, and I took my Advil and my nail polish remover and left the premises, only a little bit shattered.

Two things: I worked as a waitress for years while in university, and I never ONCE asked if a person required the seniors’ discount. I applied it only when asked, or if someone was obviously an octogenarian, or if they were regular customers who always asked for the discount. Believe me, with a last name like MacPherson, I will ASK for my ten percent off at Shopper’s the second I am eligible. The other thing is that I was at the garden centre a few weeks ago and I overheard the cashier asking the couple buying fertilizer for proof of age in order to get the discount. These people were 80 if they were a day. Apparently the garden centre has problems with people claiming the seniors’ discount who aren’t actually seniors, which, well. I love a good discount so I am not going to criticize, but it was odd to see this elderly couple dig for their driver’s licenses, and my paranoia about being asked for proof of age is based on real-life experiences.

Not In Our Lifetime, Clifford

My husband has a new toy:

He’s wanted an espresso machine for years, and after working from home for so long, and the Starbucks down the street closing, AND a highly-rated model going on sale at Costco online, he finally purchased one. He’s really missed his afternoon Americano and his latte and what have you, and meanwhile I am happy because I can drink my morning pot of coffee in peace, without someone trying to pour a cup at 8:00 am and finding there are only two ounces left in the pot, leading to the question did you drink all the coffee? Of course I drank all the coffee, by 8:00 am I’ve been up for hours, I am a quantity-over-quality girl when it comes to my pot of not-strong black Kirkland Signature. Anyway, he loves his new toy, I love my copious amounts of weak coffee, we have marital harmony, all is good.

Sometimes when we get an item like this in our house, I think of a conversation between my grandparents, years ago. My grandma had bought a bread machine, and my grandpa wondered if the machine would pay for itself in cost savings, by making bread at home instead of buying it. My grandma replied Not in our lifetime, Clifford, which should be embroidered on a pillow somewhere. Not in our lifetime, Clifford pops into my head when I think of the vegetables I am hopefully going to harvest from my new, not-cheap raised beds. Will they pay for themselves? Not in our lifetime, Clifford. Will the espresso machine pay for itself in homemade Americanos instead of Starbucks runs? Well, Starbucks is pretty expensive, so MAYBE in our lifetime, Clifford. But probably not.

Bananas for Bananas

The only complaint I have about the espresso machine is that it takes up space on the countertop that used to be where I kept the bananas. This might seem insignificant to most of you, and from Sunday through Tuesday it’s not a huge problem, but on grocery day and beyond things get a little crowded.

What can I say, we go through a lot of bananas in this house. I’d say we average 25 a week, depending on the season and what other kind of fruit is in the house. Twenty would be the absolute minimum, although we have gone as high as 35. Anyway, after reading Suzanne’s blog about bananas (HI SUZANNE) I had a craving for banana “nice cream.” Usually I blend together frozen bananas with cocoa powder and almond milk, and top it all off with homemade magic shell, but I was jonesing for a little chocolate-peanut butter action.

People. I blended together frozen bananas with peanut butter and almond milk, then stirred in mini Reece Pieces, and swirled the whole thing with homemade chocolate sauce and it was like a choir of angels burst into my kitchen and started singing.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into The Water

I got my period for the first time in a very long time; it had been so long since I’ve had a Ladies’ Holiday that I was actually wondering if that was it, if I was entering the Change of Life. My period tracker on my Garmin app kept cheerfully reminding me that it was almost that time, and to make sure I log my symptoms, and I kept having to adjust the calendar, until I wondered if the app was going to blow up and uninstall itself.

The weird thing is that I had absolutely zero warning; I was as taken aback by its sudden appearance as a young teenager who wears white pants to school and doesn’t carry supplies in her backpack. In the days prior I didn’t feel like stabbing anyone for not putting the empty toilet paper roll in the recycling, even though it’s RIGHT THERE, I didn’t have breasts swelling out past my tank tops and bras, I didn’t have to surreptitiously use my sons’ acne medication, I wasn’t even a little bit emotional. I mean, I heard Landslide on the radio and I did NOT burst into tears. Am I a robot now? You might think the moderate craving for peanut butter and chocolate could be correlated with the upcoming Ladies’ Holidays, but I make a big Sunday dinner with dessert every week, and every week that dessert is just what I feel like having, and so I think any correlation would be coincidental. Anyway, I was startled to wake up to Aunt Flo knocking at my door with her suitcase in tow.

The excitement I felt at the possibility of entering my Next Stage of Womanhood probably goes against my feelings about being asked about the seniors’ discount, but emotions are complex, and here we are.

Outfit of the Week

The snow has melted – for now – and I was able to get a bit of gardening and yard work in this week. This week’s outfit features a t-shirt I bought in Maui for FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS back in 2016, or possibly 2015.

You cannot expect a lot for five dollars, but this top has served me well. The only thing is that it’s quite short, and so I always wear a tank top underneath as this is not 1993 and I am no longer a person who wears crop tops, no matter how fashionable they may be right now. The tank top and jeans have made appearances on OOTW before; and those shoes are my designated garden shoes because they have a flower design on them. Dress for the job you want, people, and the job I want is to work in my back yard.

Pandemic Reading

Small Game Hunting at the Local Coward Gun Club. This was highly recommended to me by a friend (HI TARYN) and the writing really is excellent; the characters are complex and intertwined. It is also literally the saddest book I have ever read in my entire life, and I’ve read some doozies. Like, this blows Of Mice and Men completely out of the water, in terms of sadness, and that is my measuring stick. HOO BOY. It is as bleak, dismal, depressing, dark, and gritty as February in Newfoundland, which is where this book takes place.

Brave New World. Ugh. My older son is studying this in English and so I pulled out my own copy to reread and discuss with him. I last read it when I was a teen and now remember why I haven’t read it since. I know, I know, it’s an important book, but to me it’s a total snore. Me: I don’t like this book. My husband: why, was it written by a man? Why yes. I remember when I first read this, back in the 90s, I was puzzled as to why they refer to women as being “pneumatic.” I looked it up in the dictionary and it didn’t make sense. People, I was 46 years old before I discovered, as my son says, that they are referring to her breasts. And ass. Of course they are. Male writers, am I right? I know, I know, it was incredible for its time, satire, the dangers of population control and consumerism, etcetera, but ugh all the same. Oh! The only other thing I remembered from this book – other than the puzzling pneumatic statements – is the saying “Spending instead of mending” which isn’t even correct. It’s “ENDING instead of spending,” which, my way makes more sense.

The Mothers. Now THIS is a book! This was an excellent read about friends, secrets, and the different definitions of mothering. It was so good; I liked Bennett’s The Vanishing Half but I think this was even better. I highly recommend it.

Happy May, everyone! May your week be filled with sunshine. xo