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Uh oh! Looks like someone’s got a case of the Blue Mondays!

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Welcome to Blue Monday, statistically the saddest day of the year. According to the professor who came up with the formula, this could be the bluest Monday on record due to well-known political events, along recent death of childhood heroes, which serve to remind us all of our own mortality. Well.

I will say that I don’t feel particularly blue today, but because statistics don’t lie, I shall endeavor to write a blues-combating post of all the fun things going on around here. Right? We do not have to be victims here! Let’s revolt!

In Praise of the Astronaut

I am reading Commander Hadfield’s An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth and it is simply wonderful: full of humour, inspiration, and background information on training to become an astronaut. He talks about preparation and learning, just in case, even when the odds of success are nearly zero. That’s a really interesting concept, to me. Just learn for the sake of learning, on the off chance that you might need it someday; there’s no such thing as being over-prepared when striving for excellence.

I keep reading little tidbits from the book out loud to my kids, and I think they are taking it in. Maybe I should take up cross-stitch and make a wall-hanging: What Would Commander Hadfield Do? He wouldn’t slack off on any of his obligations, that’s for sure.

In A Committed Relationship With Avocados

My friend Allison (HI ALLISON) sent me this makeup bag and it is my everything.

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We Are Living In The Future

I was having coffee with my friend Lyn the other day (HI LYN) and she mentioned how paying for coffee via an app on her phone feels like living in the future. I, for one, embrace it. I mean, I’ve been reading Allison’s annual book review posts, and every time something sounds interesting, I put it on hold at the library using my app. How much easier does it get? Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, and probably will mention many more times, ROOMBA. Roomba is whirring away right now. The only way life could be improved is if Roomba could somehow do stairs. Or, if I finally got around to making a DJ Roomba:

What’s hot, DJ Roomba?

Aging Gracelessly

For a few months last year, I decided to try an expert’s advice and NOT use eye cream but instead use a very good regular moisturizer around my eyes. My Kiehl’s had run out and I was feeling a bit, well, Scottish. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING HERE.

Suffice it to say that not using eye-specific cream wasn’t a good plan for me. One day I looked in the mirror and…well, I looked like a cross between a raccoon and the Crypt Keeper. I did a little research and decided to go to the Clinique counter to buy a little pot of All About Eyes. Do I have to say this isn’t a sponsored post? It’s not.

Anyway, I went to the Clinique counter, mentioned I was looking for something for puffiness and undereye circles. The sweet, pretty girl at the counter directed me to All About Eyes “Rich” for, as she put it, “all my wrinkles, too.” I have to say it’s worked fairly well, although for $45 I was hoping for something a little more dramatic: like I would instantly look 15 years younger or something. I guess what I really need is an Instagram filter, but for life. However, I shall take what I can get.

Okay, deep breath. Here’s the before and after. The first photo was taken in mid-November, the second after a week of use.

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I mean, it’s an improvement to be sure, but it’s not cosmetic surgery results or anything. And frankly, I wanted cosmetic surgery results. But the search continues and I will be sure to let you know how it goes. First, I need to finish my Clinique stuff because, Scottish. I am open to suggestions!

My You Tube Search History Really Says Something About Me

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I’m just not sure what that “something” is.

I Love My Hair Therapist

This is how my relationship is with my hair therapist: I walk in and sit at her chair. Without talking about it, she mixes my colour, applies it, rinses it, uses special strengthening treatment, dries it and trims the ends in what is always the perfect amount. WE NEVER TALK ABOUT IT. There is something so comforting and freeing about this relationship. I always leave happy, and usually rested since I almost always fall asleep in the shampoo chair and then startle myself awake. I was there just last week and, as usual, she brought me Hello! magazine without judgement. What can I say, I like to catch up on all the news about the British Royal Family.

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That’s about all I can think of for Blue Monday! Why not pay it forward and be extra nice to everyone you see – they might be blue. xo

Fear of Flying, and turning into a flower

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Ninety minutes ago, I considered sitting down to write, but instead sat on the comfortable couch for a few minutes. I promptly fell asleep to the tune of Roomba noisily vacuuming my floors for me – welcome to the future, Mrs. Jetson – and the kids playing the loudest game possible downstairs. I could hear them, through my dozing, excitedly yelling about whatever it was they were doing. I did not investigate.

I feel incredibly refreshed from this unusual and unexpected nap. Maybe it’s some kind of Friday the 13th voodoo going on. The bitter weather has suddenly broken, as it was apparently expected to, according to my mail carrier. I was chatting with him on Wednesday and he, positive and happy soul that he is, informed me that this was the END of the cold weather FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. I confess I looked at him with the kind of smiling face that you give a child who tells you that she is going to be a pony when she grows up.

Have I ever mentioned that there was a period in my childhood where I believed I would grow up to be a flower? Like, an actual plant. I clearly remember reading a story about plant cycles and becoming devastated on the discovery that I would die in the winter. This seems like it might be an allegory for my life but it isn’t, really. I guess I just really liked flowers and aimed to be one. I still like flowers, although it’s not my life goal to be a daisy or a rose anymore.

Speaking of blooming, I just finished reading Fear of Flying. I first read it in my twenties, and even then I did not find it to be the sexually liberating book that it is celebrated as. I didn’t remember it in its entirety, although I did remember grim details like I worried that I got the clap from having sex with all those uncircumcised Florentines. Ew. I found it much more interesting on a historical basis, as much of it takes place in Heidelberg, Germany in the 1960s, which would be a very strange place, post-war. There is much description about Europe in general at that time, and I am just going to come out and say it: I realize that the pendulum swings, and revolutions serve a purpose, but the Sexual Revolution and the concept of Free Love were both pretty gross. I mean, really. Not to mention the descriptions of the lack of hygiene WHILE having all this unprotected sex. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the 80s, when we were all indoctrinated about the importance of safe sex, but IMAGINE all the STDs. Or don’t imagine it.

There is a description about when the narrator has been camping on roadsides in Europe with the man she’s having an affair with. It has been QUITE SOME TIME since she’s showered, they have sex daily, and when she finally gets to an actual (seedy) hotel that has a bathroom, the dirt comes off her arms in streaks. But she can’t take an actual bath because she has her period and somehow does not have any tampons, so no bath for her. What? Why? Ew.

I have really talked about this enough and must change the subject, however gracelessly. Here, take a look at what I found at Superstore!

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This takes me back to the early 90s, when I, along with many of my teenaged peers, wore vanilla perfume. We were like a horde of cookie-scented darlings.

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This brought back memories too! I think I got some of these for Christmas, back in the day. Who knew they still made them?

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I remember everyone who was anyone wore Exclamation back in junior high school, along with their Salon Selectives hairspray holding up their teased bangs. It went well with Levi’s 501 jeans and gargantuan sweatshirts from Beaver Canoe and Roots. Canadiana nostalgia!

In line with my New Year’s Goals/ Resolutions/ Whatever We Are Calling Them These Days, I am reading a lot more and am currently devouring Tamarind Mem. I had read it years ago and it is still wonderful. Bonus for local people: there is a big Calgary connection in the book, even though the mother refers to it as “Calgary North Pole place.” Anyway, it’s a gorgeous read – maybe not as groundbreaking and earth-shattering as Fear of Flying, but it contains no hygienic descriptions that make the reader shudder in horror.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! xo

Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Where I Connect With My Star Wars Alter Ego and My Longtime Muppet Love

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Doesn’t everything feel a bit like a Herculean effort during the month of January? Yesterday morning was a feels like minus 32 with the wind chill kind of day, plus it had snowed overnight, sending traffic into one gigantic snarl, not that I’m battling traffic when I’m doing the school drop-off, but still. Just getting things done takes massive amounts of willpower: a) getting out of my cozy bed into my 16 degree house, b) getting into the freezing cold car to get to yoga, c) leaving the warm yoga studio to get back into the even-more-freezing car, d) getting out of the steamy hot shower, e) taking off the fuzzy robe to put actual clothes on in my chilly bedroom, and f) leaving the house several times a day to do various drop-offs, pick-ups, and errands. It takes a lot of effort and layering of clothing just to get through the morning routine around here.

Whenever I start to feel a bit sorry for myself in this cold climate that I am NOT suited for, I think of the Ingalls family, in their crappy little house in town. I mean, 16 degrees is nothing compared to sleeping in an unheated, un-insulated attic with only your sister’s body and a heated brick to keep you warm. It’s not like I have to undress in front of the stove, the only source of heat in the house, that is running on twisted pieces of hay. It’s not like my daily sustenance is one baked potato and a slice or two of bread. Winter life: it’s not so bad, really. Of course, comparing anything to the Ingalls’ way of life is bound to make you feel thankful for everything.

On that note, I have more to say about my Florida vacation. What? I know I’m stretching it out, but it’s JANUARY. If I don’t write about Disney’s Hollywood Studios, I’m going to be writing about how cold it is and how busy it was at the grocery store, my two usual January topics. You know you want to hear about my latest Costco experience. No?

 

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Me, in an attempt to look glamourous for Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Fun fact: I put this tank top on – containing a shelf bra – backwards, and wore it as such for a solid two hours before realizing that it was backwards, in what is the saddest commentary on my bosom ever. In fact, the only reason I realized it was backwards was that I noticed the lululemon symbol, which is normally on the back.

But I digress. No one wants to hear about my deflated state of affairs. Let’s talk Hollywood!

We went to Hollywood Studios the day after our epic Magic Kingdom day, which meant we were all a bit more tired than normal. We had planned for this, since Hollywood isn’t the biggest of the parks; in fact, we only walked 11.2 kilometers. Hollywood Studios is home to Aerosmith’s Rock and Roller Coaster, which is a blast – literally – and a stunt show starring Indiana Jones (not, obviously, the REAL Indiana Jones).

There is also the Great Movie Ride!

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This ride is so fun as it is set up like Mann’s Chinese Theatre, and while waiting for it to start a number of classic movie clips and interviews are shown. It’s very fun, and again made me wonder about the lives of the cast members involved in this ride. Basically, it’s a large tram that takes you through a number of classic movie scenes, narrated by a tour guide, and co-starring a gangster moll who hijacks the tram. I wondered how many times Aidan said “I’m your tour guide, Aidan, and I just LOVE movies!” in the course of a shift. I guess if you were an actor, maybe this would be a great on-the-side gig for you, but it WOULD get pretty repetitive. Would narrating the same thing every ten minutes with the same amount of enthusiasm lead to madness in the end? Only time will tell, I suppose.

Outside of the Great Movie Ride are the handprints and footprints of certain celebrities, just like in the real Mann’s Chinese Theatre. I tried my footprints against the Star Wars character who – according to my kids – most resembles me.

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It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and I’m wondering if it would be suitable to watch with the kids. I think I was about 13 when I saw it, so maybe? Then again, that was in the 80s, and we all know “anything goes” back then.

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My kids have flipper feet.

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KERMIE! More on him later.

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Hollywood Studios is also home to all things Star Wars, and although we were told that the Storm Troopers do NOT pose for photos, we did manage to get a family photo with Kylo Ren. Meeting Kylo Ren was much more fun than I imagined, although not as much fun (and not as soft and snuggly) as meeting Chewbacca.

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If it wasn’t insanely expensive, I would have made my husband buy this costume for (ahem) personal use.

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He wanted to buy this one though.

I have always been a big fan of the Muppets, and I was sadly disappointed when the new Muppet show was cancelled.

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Oh well, Kermie. We’ll always have Orlando. Here’s looking at you, kid.

Magic Kingdom, or The Land of Many Mouse Ears

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It’s January, so no one should be surprised, but I still shuddered a little when I checked the weather forecast, and the following warning popped up at me:

BITTER COLD AHEAD FOR ALBERTA IN JANUARY

Not just cold, BITTER cold!

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This was the view from my parents’ place on Boxing Day, when it was minus 32 with wind chill. Pretty! But so cold.

Well. ‘Tis the season, and there’s nothing for it but to bundle up and drink a lot of cinnamon tea, which is precisely what I am doing right now. That and keeping warm by thinking of our Florida holiday – we’ve been home over a month and I still haven’t written about Magic Kingdom! I shall rectify that immediately.

We went to Magic Kingdom on the third day of our holiday. Magic Kingdom is the most popular of all the Disney World parks, as evidenced by the giant double buses that transfer people from the resort. The funniest moment of the day came on the bus, on the way to Magic Kingdom. A group of moms with their kids were standing near us, holding the rails, and one little boy said, in a very loud and clear voice, “ARE YOU GOING TO POLE DANCE, MOMMY?” I am going to assume that she is a practitioner of pole dancing fitness classes, and not a stripper, but still, it was amusing.

At the Disney resorts, there are waiting areas for each of the buses, and it’s kind of alarming to see the huge lineup of people waiting for the Magic Kingdom bus; happily, since the buses are gigantic, they can accommodate a lot of people and all their strollers and paraphernalia. Of course, there are more strollers here than anywhere else, since Magic Kingdom is the park that is most enjoyable for the little ones. It is also the park that has the most toddler meltdowns per square foot, the most little girls dressed up like princesses, and the most mouse ears.

Side note on the princesses: IT IS ADORABLE. At Magic Kingdom, there are so many opportunities for kids to meet the “real” characters, and it seems like the big attractions are meeting Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, and the other big-name princesses whose names I do not know because I haven’t seen a Disney princess movie in some years. Kids can also get all dressed up, and get their hair done as well, for these experiences, so everywhere you look there are tiny princesses in pouffy dresses with updos and tiaras. It is pretty cute. Apparently there is a more masculine option for little boys – I think it’s to get dressed up as a pirate – but to be honest, I didn’t see any.

Interestingly, there is a rule at Disney that dressing up as a princess is only for the under-14 set. So if you have your heart set on wearing your ballgown and tiara to Disney, you had better save the luggage space for regular clothes. There is a very good reason for this, and that is that Disney doesn’t want unauthorized princesses on the premises, because guests might think that they are employees. This is very smart, because at Universal Studios, there are thousands of people walking around in Harry Potter robes, and it is easy to assume that you might be able to ask them questions about the park. It’s actually a bit disorienting, so I applaud Disney on that rule.

Another side note: the mouse ears. Remember back in the day when the only mouse ears were those felty black hats that had names embroidered on the back? Life has changed since then and there are so many mouse ear options. There are women walking around with bridal veil mouse ears, accompanied by girlfriends wearing sparkly bridesmaid-style mouse ears, there are Christmas-themed mouse ears, full-on Minnie Mouse ears with bows – pretty much anything you can imagine, you can buy.

Yet another side note: the fashion. The last time we went to Disney, I wore my support stockings under my capri-length jeans, and my mother was MORTIFIED on my behalf. I answered that if she saw what people wore at Disney, she wouldn’t be so concerned. Now, there are no judgments here. I am not the fashion police. I understand the desire to keep everyone together. And still. And still I was a little bit surprised at the sheer volume of groups of people wearing matching shirts. Smith Family Disney Vacation 2016! the shirts proclaimed, in bright colours. Daddy Mouse, Mommy Mouse, Brother Mouse, Sister Mouse said others. So many custom shirts in matching bright colours – even fluorescent tie-dyed ones. That’s great, but I have a question.

Do people wear the matching shirts every day and if so, how badly do they smell at the end of the vacation? Or do they wash them in the sink on a daily basis? I mean, it’s hot in Orlando. When we were there I was precluded from even being a fashion disaster by wearing my support hose, because it was too hot. The thought of putting on my medical grade stockings made me want to die, so I didn’t. So, you can imagine how hot and sweaty and humid things are – what happens to the matching t-shirts?

Also, occasionally I would see a teenage girl wearing her matching monogrammed shirt, trying desperately to pretend that she didn’t belong to the super-embarrassing group. It reminded me of Rusty in European Vacation, with his monogrammed beret. Won’t someone think of the teenagers? If my parents had, GOD FORBID, made me wear a matching shirt when I was that age, I would have literally died.

Anyway. Back to the park. We split our day up into two parts: we went early in the morning for a few hours, and then went back later for fireworks and extended “Magic Hours,” which meant we were there until 1:00 in the morning. Zzzz. Magic Kingdom is kind of old-school, with rides I absolutely love, like the Jungle Cruise.

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Everything was decorated for Christmas, including the fake tarantula:

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I ended up wondering about the employees, as is my wont, and particularly if the rehearsed speeches by the Jungle Cruise Tour Guides would haunt them in their sleep. How many times would a Jungle Cruise guide – or ANY employee dealing with public speaking – say the same exact thing during a shift? Would you go home and just start cracking bad jokes about watching your step, so you wouldn’t have TWO bad trips instead of one? Would it just become second nature to say “I’m Nicole, I’ll be your skipper today” when meeting someone new? When I worked at Pizza Hut as a teenager, I often answered our home phone with “Hunterhorn Pizza Hut, Nicole speaking.” I can only imagine.

Magic Kingdom is split into Tomorrowland (featuring Space Mountain), Adventureland, Fantasyland, and, my kids’ favourite, Frontierland. Frontierland is home to Big Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain, both big favourites in the Boyhouse. I lost count of how many times we went on those. We were only able to go on the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train once, but it was very fun. There is also the famous Sleeping Beauty castle, which is kind of dull to walk through, unless you are having breakfast with Cinderella or something. It makes a fabulous backdrop for a photo though.

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The most special experience of the trip was the fireworks. After our morning at Magic Kingdom and an afternoon relaxing by the resort pool, we went back for fireworks. The best place to view them, after some discussion with employees, is on the green space between Casey’s Corner and the ice cream parlor on Main Street. The fireworks start at ten, but we were pretty exhausted, so settled on a patch of grass shortly before nine. It was well worth the wait. The experience was truly incredible. No one does fireworks like Disney.

After the fireworks we slowly edged our way through the massive crowds – be prepared for MASSIVE CROWDS – and enjoyed the shorter lineups for Magic Hours. We then dragged our exhausted selves to the bus stop and waited for what seemed like an interminable time for our bus. It was probably only 15 or 20 minutes but at that point we had walked for 19.1 kilometers, we had been up and at it since 6:30 in the morning, and we were pretty tired of people, in general. Still, a great day and a wonderful experience. I didn’t meet any Disney characters but I did get to eat a delicious frozen strawberry bar, so I call it a draw.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS

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Happy New Year!

I was in a class yesterday and the teacher was talking about numerology, something I know very little about, and of which I’m slightly wary. 2016 was a 9 (2+1+6=9) and life goes, apparently, in nine-year cycles; the end of a cycle can be tumultuous and full of grief, endings, and closing doors. 2017 is a 1, meaning a time of new beginnings and initiatives, which is a perfect way to think of the new year, in my opinion.

Here’s to new beginnings! January can be a bit of a grim month, what with the post-holidays blues and – in my case – the frigidly cold weather. But it can also be kind of exciting, what with fresh new things to think about. Plus, the theme for the month of January in my Horse Yoga calendar is “Strength,” which seems apt. It takes strength to get out of my warm cozy bed in the morning, into the cold. It takes strength to get out of the steamy shower, and strength to actually put on regular clothes. We can do it though, we can be like the horse in the funky headstand.

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The quote on the bottom says “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

Some people pooh-pooh resolutions and goals and “words of intention” in January, and it is true, most resolutions are scrapped by mid-January. Exercise machines have a tendency to become clothes-hangers and healthy living cookbooks collect dust. Regardless of that, I love New Year’s resolutions. I love the idea that we are all hoping to turn a fresh leaf and better ourselves, to make the world a bit brighter and our bodies healthier. In the words of the movie version of Professor Bhaer, we are all hopelessly flawed, so why shouldn’t we turn to self-improvement? It’s never a waste of time. We need to harness the good energy, block out the bad.

We all know that when resolutions fail it is because of their extreme nature. If someone has never exercised in their life, then probably setting a goal of six two-hour workouts a week is not sustainable. There’s a reason people don’t stay on the Whole 30 for their entire lives. It’s not sustainable. Which is not to say there aren’t benefits to a new exercise program or eating regimen, it’s just that smaller steps towards healthier living are much better than an extreme lifestyle change.

Anyway, I have a few goals that I’m going to work towards; more piano playing and less social media-ing, writing down the books I finish so I can see what I read during the year, using the library more (so much easier now that I have the CPL app on my phone), continuing to do three cardio workouts a week, continuing to track all my expenses, continuing to find joy and happiness in little things, continuing to work on being more social and flexible in my thinking, and, finally, finding focus.

I often pride myself on my ability to multi-task, but lately it has occurred to me that this is nothing at all to be proud of. Multi-tasking just means I am not doing a good job at focusing on one thing at a time. Think about it: instead of doing one thing at a time well, I am attempting to do many things at the same time, not well. Flitting from task to task is not the most efficient or effective way to complete anything. How much better would it be if I sat down to write and instead of having ten tabs open with notifications popping up all the time, I simply used my time to write creatively? How much better would it be if I completed one thing before moving on to the next, instead of always restarting? How much better would it be if I wasn’t always interrupting myself to do something else, if I just focused on ONE THING? I AM NOT A HUMMINGBIRD, PEOPLE.

So that is what I’m going to do. When the kids or my husband talk to me, I am going to put down my phone or book and really listen and pay attention to what they have to say. When I am cooking, I am going to pay attention to what I am cooking and stay in the moment. When I’m reading, I’m not going to interrupt myself to make my grocery list and when I’m in savasana I’m not going to think, not for one second, about my daily to-do list. It’s going to be about staying in the moment and focusing, and it’s going to be hard, but as the horse yogi says, strength comes from an indomitable will. I can do it!

 

2016 Boyhouse Year In Review

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Everyone is talking about kicking 2016 to the curb, and certainly it was a strange year, with sadness and loss and disheartening attacks. There were lots of tragedies this year, but as always, there is light and love and laughter to be had too. 2016 had some tough losses in the Boyhouse, but there were also many wonderful, hilarious, and silly happenings.

January

I started the year by detoxing my life, and then I was forced into a Little House on the Prairie situation in which I did not have electricity for a whole day. My husband bought me an ice cream maker, which literally changed our entire lives and has since proven to be one of my most favourite small appliances ever.

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February

I attempted to Kondo my clothes, which ended badly. I had an anxiety dream about Cookie Monster, which may have been related to terribly uncomfortable Pap tests. And it was a Leap Year!

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I also discovered they still make Fun Dip!

March

I talked about beauty products, wine, and eye bags, and wondered what life would be like if we could walk around with a permanent Instagram filter. I had a mammogram and was struck by my inability to follow basic instructions. And we went to Maui, and I briefly wondered what life would be like as a motivational speaker.

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April

I talked about weight loss and my love of clothes, I found out that the taco and eggplant emojis do not mean tacos and eggplants, and I went on two field trips to the Police Interpretive Centre.

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It was also an incredibly warm spring and my Mayday bloomed in April, which has never happened before!

May

My kids and husband cleaned the entire house for Mother’s Day and it was way better than a Mother’s Day tea. My sweet friend Alison passed away, and she is much missed. I went to my second-last Volunteer Tea, at which my son was emcee.

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And the lilacs bloomed in May!

June

I had more than one person become weirdly passionate about my eyebrows, which is when I discovered that eyebrows are really a “thing” these days, there was a Mafia-like turf war in my backyard, waged by neighbourhood birds, and my sweet baby cousin got married!

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We did NOT stay in this motel, but it does have In-Room Coffee! And Vacancy!

July

I became extremely disheartened by people and a heated discussion about reclining airplane seats, I learned how to bake a pie, and I found lots to smile about in little things.

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My roses had a record year!

August

I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying-Up and it magically changed my life, Barkley got very sick – but then recovered, no need for panic – and I continued to Kondo everything, and I made a resolution about clothing purchases.

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September

I took the car for an oil change and remembered why I never take the car for an oil change, I had a slight blip in my magical tidying-up journey, I did that “three fictional characters that describe me” AND my friend’s sister let me in on the secret to a shiny, beautiful fridge and it CHANGED MY LIFE. 

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October

My attempts at getting to my in-laws’ for Thanksgiving weekend kept getting thwarted by the weather, although it did work out in the end, I talked about not buying things not on my lists, and also how hard it is to work customer service, and I had confessions to make.

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November 

There was – and still is – a vanilla shortage, which meant it was all Panic at the Disco around here, I went on a field trip in which hundreds of fifth-and-sixth graders were given NOISE MAKERS, and we said goodbye to my father-in-law.

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Also: my second-last book fair!

December

We went to Orlando, and it was a fabulous trip, I talked about Disney’s Animal Kingdom and also Universal Studios. We also did Christmassy stuff, of course.

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AND AND AND! I became a Registered Yoga Teacher!

So that’s about it for the Boyhouse for 2016! See you next year. May 2017 bring us all health, happiness, and lots of laughter. xoxo

It’s a Festivus for the Rest of Us.

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I am BUZZING on caffeine. It’s 7:14, I’ve been awake for over three hours, and I have people coming over this afternoon. Whee!

Note: I say this like it’s something unusual but the fact is I am almost always awake around 4, so it’s just like a regular day, with the exception that it is December 23:

I’ve been on a bit of a tear this week, with baking too many things and cleaning way too much. On Wednesday, I had that feeling that all is a shambles and so I recruited the children for some good, old-fashioned housecleaning. You know the kind: scrubbing down the kitchen cupboards, cleaning behind the garbage cans, dusting all surfaces and baseboards, and re-sealing all the granite, all to the tune of “80s Yacht Rock” on Spotify. The children went along with it, probably in fear for their lives.

I am a very organized person and I’ve been “ready” for Christmas for a while – gifts purchased long ago, wrapped weeks ago, baking done (and consumed by the children, so this is more of an ongoing thing). However, purchasing groceries is not something that can really be done in advance, unless you’re into rotten vegetables and mouldy bread. So, yesterday I took a deep breath and went to Superstore.

Holy moly, even in the morning it was insane: the parking lot was packed, people were everywhere. I listened to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch “Good Vibrations” on my way, just to get myself in the right head space. The only way out is through, I said to myself, as I breathed deep ujjayi breaths, maneuvering into a parking spot far from the entrance. I vowed to just smile at everyone I saw, to really embody the Christmas spirit.

The first person I smiled at was an old man at the cart corral. This led to a brief flirtation – what can I say, I’m irresistible to the septuagenarian set – and I noted that there were very few cars in the corral, an ominous sign. The old man wished me a Merry Christmas and said “I hope we all took our patience pills!” as we went in. I’m going in.

It was pretty crazy but I kept smiling like an escaped lunatic who just wanted some nice produce and also some Motrin and tofu. It doesn’t matter how long this takes, I kept thinking to myself as I tried to wheel my giant cart around a crowd of other carts and an employee with a giant dolly of items to restock, It doesn’t matter in the long run. I can be here all morning. What difference will it make? I did make it out, finally, and then I went to the liquor store along with – apparently – every old person within a ten kilometre radius. What is with all the elderly? This isn’t Co-Op.

One of my favourite wines, as I’ve said before, is Middle Sister. It speaks to me, as a middle sister (well, middle child and sister so technically Middle Sister is an accurate description). I love how they often change the labels. My favourite was “After waking up at Stupid O’Clock this morning, I’m looking forward to Wine O’Clock tonight.” which aptly describes every Friday of my life. But they’ve changed the labels again and this is my new favourite:

 middlesister2 

Santa Baby, just slip a bottle of Cabernet under the tree, for me. Been an awful good girl.

All of which is to say I am now completely “ready for Christmas,” food and all. There were many, many awful things in 2016, but there is much still to celebrate, and I hope you and yours can enjoy a peaceful, joyful, wonderful holiday season, with or without feats of strength and airing of grievances. xo

tree

ball

charlie

barkley

littlecreche