Vacation Reading 2022

Posted on August 10, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

I got a lot of reading done on my recent vacation, and as always, I wanted to share that with you.

Enough Already. I enjoyed this easy-to-read memoir by Valerie Bertenelli, in which she describes coming to terms with her body and appearance. I think the lessons she learns will resonate with all women; namely, you’re not going to be magically happy when you lose those mystical ten pounds, if you’re not happy now. I guess I didn’t remember that she was a Jenny Craig spokesperson at one point, and had posed in a bikini for People magazine; her self-worth has been tied to her appearance for her entire life. That’s what happens when you grow up on national television, I suppose, but I also think that most – if not all – women could relate to this. Anyway, it’s a book about self-care, learning to love yourself, and nourishing your soul, and you all know THAT IS MY JAM. So I did like that a lot. It’s also kind of a love letter to Eddie Van Halen, which is really interesting. Apparently their relationship improved a lot AFTER their divorce, and they remained loving friends until his death. There is not much about her second husband, but it kind of felt like they might have been separated or divorcing while she was writing this book, much of which takes place during the early days of the pandemic. She includes some recipes, and I had no idea she had her own cooking show and cookbooks. It’s a nice easy read with some great life lessons in it.

Plucked: A History of Hair Removal. Hair removal and the history thereof is a topic that I am genuinely fascinated by, and this did not disappoint! I always wondered, watching Downton Abbey, if the girls’ smooth underarms in their sheer dresses was historically accurate AND IT WAS! Underarm and lower leg hair removal was all the rage at the time. In fact, depilatories were popular in the nineteenth century for facial hair, although they contained arsenic and often led to disfigurement, illness, and death. But they effectively removed hair! I also have always wondered about trends – how did we go from the groomed 50s to the here baby, there mama, everywhere daddy daddy hair of the 60s and 70s, to the shaped yet gloriously luxuriant lady shrubbery of the 80s and 90s to the Brazilian of 2000s. It’s a journey! It was just so interesting, all the political and societal implications of hair growth and lack thereof, plus the absolutely horrifying lengths that people have gone to in order to become smooth and hairless, and not just the arsenic-laced depilatories. I loved the acknowledgements too: the author dedicates the book to her mother, who “…attuned me to the mystery and beauty of being alive; I, in turn, offer a few lines of dedication in an academic monograph on hair removal. So it goes.”

Jameela Green Ruins Everything. This was such a good satire about, of all things, ISIS and terrorism. You wouldn’t think it would be funny and informative, given the subject, but here we are. I admit I almost didn’t make it through the first chapter, because it dealt with woman-on-woman dislike, dating back to high school, and I hate that kind of thing. I hate it. Can we all just move past things that happened in high school? Can we all just stop judging appearances and being threatened by others’ successes or being happy with others’ failures? COME ON. Anyway, once I moved past that chapter, that little theme mostly dropped out, and I’m glad I didn’t quit. It was very entertaining! Plus, the author lives in Regina and is the creator of Little Mosque on the Prairie, which – true confessions – I have never watched, but I like when I see a Canadian woman be successful, particularly a Canadian woman of colour from the Prairies.

Swimming Home. I have only ever read Levy’s memoirs; this is the first of her novels I’ve read, and it was compelling, dark, rich, and surprising. It’s the kind of book you could analyze for days, if you were in an English class. Major trigger warning: suicidal ideation and depression.

Calories and Corsets. I always think of diet culture as being a fairly recent phenomenon, but it sure isn’t. This is a very interesting look at the history of diet culture, and the “fixes” that have been in place to achieve the popular figure of the day. It’s also a good reminder that “quick fixes” are harmful to our bodies and that there are just so many factors that go into our outer appearances.

My Name Is Lucy Barton. Back in April, I bought Strout’s latest, Oh William, and I have been mentally saving it for vacation. Before reading it, though, I wanted to reread the two books that come before it: this one, and Anything Is Possible. It is not a series exactly, but it deals with the same characters and their lives. It has been a few years since I read the first two, so I thought I would go for a refresher. My Name Is Lucy Barton is just SO good. Imagine being able to write like Elizabeth Strout! It’s breathtaking. I’ve read this three times and I can’t even describe it; there’s no plot to speak of, but the character development is so layered and nuanced. The main character is in the hospital and is visited by her mother, and through their conversations around people from “back home,” we get a very intense picture of Lucy’s previous life, one of poverty and abuse, and that does NOT sound appealing, but it actually is a very excellent and thought-provoking book.

Anything Is Possible. While My Name Is Lucy Barton deals with Lucy and her life in New York, this book deals with the people mentioned by her and her mother, in small-town Illinois. Again, this is not a plot-driven book; it is more of a series of vignettes that are all interconnected. If the theme of Lucy Barton is mothers and daughters, this would be more about people who leave and people who stay, and the secrets that we all have and the traumas, big and small, that inform the way we live.

Oh William! Finally! The long-awaited Oh William! This book is an exploration of the relationship between Lucy Barton and her former husband, William. They discover some things about William’s past and the little turn in the “plot,” (there is, again, not much of a plot), was something I didn’t see coming but I have been thinking about a lot. This did not disappoint, and as always with Strout’s writing, it is beautiful and so very thick and nuanced. One of the themes is safety; who do we feel safe with, how do we create a life with other people. Of the three books, Lucy Barton is my favourite, but I really enjoyed the other two as well.

None of these books were what I would consider Beach Reads, but most were quick reads and I liked them all. Have you read anything good lately? xo

Baby Got Back

Posted on August 8, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

Hello! I have missed you! I have just returned from a two-week vacation, visiting friends and family in the Okanagan. It has been an entire year since I have seen my mother-and-sister-in-law; partly this was pandemic-related, partly Barkley-related, but mostly it was because we didn’t have a place to stay in. I haven’t said much about this, but for the past year our Vacation Home has been turning into our Future Retirement Home; this has been a big project, including the addition of a second floor, that my husband coordinated from afar, while working full-time at his stressful regular job, and all his hard work really paid off. It’s beautiful.

We have been on many, many family vacations of all different kinds, but our Okanagan vacations are always pretty chill; friends are always surprised to hear that we don’t do any big activities or excursions when we spend time here. You’ve never been to the kangaroo sanctuary? What about the zipline tours? No, never.

Our days are all pretty much the same: we visit with family, I cook simple dinners or we very occasionally go out for dinner, we have friends come by to drink wine on the deck or we meet up with friends, I read a lot, I get my steps in and we all get caught up on sleep, and that is pretty much it. This visit, my husband and boys spent time doing odd jobs around the house – putting up towel rods, setting up weight equipment, cleaning out the old shed, taking things to the dump – and I grocery shopped a ridiculous number of times, which is what happens when I don’t do a full weekly meal plan. In the afternoons we would head over to see my sister-in-law, who has a suite in a house on the lake, and we swam.

This was such a great option to have, since there was an Actual Heat Wave happening, as opposed to a Calgary Heat Wave. It was hot enough that I headed out for my daily run or walk fairly early each day; once at the beginning of the trip I felt lazy, started a little later, and finished my run at 9:15 am. I thought I might die, or at least dehydrate.

I don’t think I have really mentioned this, but I have had a loose goal this year of walking or running at least five kilometres a day, and most days I easily exceed that; there have been a couple of days that hasn’t been physically or emotionally possible, like when Barkley died or when I had Covid, and there have been a handful of days when the weather was so bad it was all I could do to make it to four kilometres, but for every one of those days there are at least ten that I would be quite a bit over that goal, so it all evens out in my favour.

Despite this, I haven’t really been running long distances; I just haven’t felt like it, and I am at the point in my life where I am not going to do things that I don’t feel like doing. At home, I have a Run Day twice a week, and I will take a 20 minute Peloton spin class before running six kilometres, and that’s as much running as I feel like doing. But when I was on vacation, I found I had a different mindset, and also I did not have my Peloton and was getting more sleep, so I seemed to have energy to burn. The first day we were settled in, I started running and I didn’t feel like stopping. For one thing, Calgary is at a much higher elevation, and for another, my home run route is uphill for the first two kilometres; in the Okanagan, our house is on a hill so the first two kilometres are downhill, and then it’s completely flat. I ended up running eight to ten kilometres every other day, although I will say that the last couple of K, going up the hill without any shade, in temperatures 20 degrees warmer than at home, were a bit of a grind. I felt pretty accomplished, though, at the end of it.

One morning I was walking, and lost in the beauty of the walk and in my Jiffy Pop Culture podcast, and when I looked up I saw something coming towards me. It was this young fellow:

I have seen many deer in my life but I have never been that close to one. He kept coming towards me, even though I stopped walking. He stopped maybe twenty-five feet away and we looked at each other; I heard a bike coming up behind me and I waved to get his attention. The cyclist looked exactly like a slim Santa Claus, and we murmured in an awestruck way about the beauty of nature, etc., when he offered to take my photo with the deer.

A couple of bikes were coming from the other direction and at that point I got very nervous; this was a young buck, and we were kind of surrounding him. I stood very close to Slim Santa, and we watched as he meandered to the creek and left us.

Bucky wasn’t the only wildlife I encountered; when we were swimming at my sister-in-law’s, I grabbed my phone to take a few photos, and I saw this GIANT fish swim right up near the dock. It was at least two feet long, and it was in very shallow water. I have never seen anything like it; it looked like a giant version of those sucker fish that you buy for your fish tank to keep it clean.

I was thinking while on vacation just how easy everything is now. When the boys were small and we stayed in the original, unrenovated house, with one bathroom and a toilet that flushed maybe once every four times, at best, and that backed up into the shower while I was showering, everything was hard. A “vacation” simply meant that I was doing all the things I normally did at home, but in much less convenient circumstances; it was exactly like that Onion headline:

But now we have a beautiful house with THREE bathrooms and all the toilets flush, and I make meals we like without feeling sad that no one ever makes meals for me – no one does, but I have moved past the Sad Feeling – and the boys clean up the kitchen and help with the everyday jobs, and put on their own sunscreen, which is, as every parent knows, an amazing gift, and if I forget something at the store I can send my son out to pick it up, and we can entertain friends without worrying about bedtime or crying or anything else. With the kids becoming adults, family vacations will become rare and more complicated, and they are probably numbered, really, so I treasured this time we had together.

These are the good old days.

These little purple flowers serve as a reminder to me: when the boys were small and my husband was golfing on vacation, and I was feeling exhausted and resentful, my late father-in-law would try to help me out a little, by taking me and the boys for rides on his Kubota utility vehicle through the vineyard, which they loved. I mentioned once that I liked these pretty purple flowers – they are chicory, I think – and then he silently drove a long way to a part of the vineyard that was covered, absolutely covered, with these flowers. He stopped the Kubota and told the boys we were going to sit there for a while, so “Mom could look at the flowers.” It’s such a lovely memory and one that reminds me that while some things always stay the same, everything changes, and what is hard right now maybe won’t be, in the future.

A Week of Summer Outfits

Posted on July 21, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

With only a couple of exceptions, we have had the most beautiful summer weather over the past few weeks. In fact, we even had a HEAT WAVE. Now, before my friends in the southern part of the US start to feel sympathy for me in this heat wave, let me show you the warning from Environment Canada to give some context:

For those of you who think in terms of Fahrenheit, let me translate: the daily highs varied between 82.4 and 89.6, with overnight lows in the 50s. That, friends, is what constitutes a heat wave in Calgary. The entire city starts to melt and shrivel in such crazy hot temperatures.

Have you finished wiping away your tears of laughter?

As I’m going through the process of loving and appreciating all the clothes I have, as per The Big Project, I wanted to share with you a typical week’s worth of summer outfits; the week includes our Heat Wave but also a day or two of cooler temperatures, because it’s all about volatility in this city.

As previously discussed in A Week of Spring Outfits, the Curated Closet encourages the idea of a “uniform,” and my Summer Uniform for hot (or, “hot”) days is comprised of a skirt with shorts attached (a “skort”), and a shelf-bra yoga tank. Non-hot days call for a uniform similar to the rest of the year: fitted pants with a yoga tank or a tee, sometimes layered.

One Week Of Summer Outfits

Thursday

The week starts on Thursday, which happened to be the start of what I have been thinking of as Summer Vacation. Because of the Heat Wave, I decided to take the boys up to visit my parents at the lake. My husband was busy with work, so we decided to go up on Thursday after my younger son’s driving lesson and come home on Saturday, and it was the most perfect visit you can imagine.

Behold the Summer Uniform! I have had this skirt since at least 2015, and the tank since probably 2010, but possibly longer. Needless to say, this outfit is a longtime favourite! I don’t wear much colour as a rule, but I do like a little pop in the summer on occasion.

This was a perfect outfit for driving – very comfortable – and great for drinking wine while the boys paddleboarded in the evening, prior to a couple raucous dice games with my parents.

Friday

This day might go down as one of the best days of all time. I will be remembering it forever, I think. It was truly perfect: I went for a sweet run in the morning, and then we spent the day on the boat. The weather was perfect and the water – which only two weeks ago was absolutely frigid – was swimming-pool temperature. The boys and I jumped off the boat and swam a lot, and the boys tried out the Big Mable for the first time in three or four years, and we just had the best time. Many thanks to my dad for being our captain for the afternoon!

I spent most of the day in a bikini and booty shorts, but by late afternoon my look was more Drowned Rat than anything, so I attempted to make myself presentable for Margarita Hour and dinner.

This is an actual tank top – from Jacob, which closed its doors in 2015, so who knows how old it is – and I’m wearing an actual bra, which I feel is notable. The skirt is probably four years old and makes me feel lovely and summery.

Saturday

Sadly, time to go home! I took a solo paddleboard in the morning on the perfectly-quiet lake and then we headed home. I was only away from my garden for a day, but it needed some love, particularly the tomatoes.

Before I get to the outfit, I have to tell you about this watering wand from Lee Valley Tools. It was a birthday gift this year and it’s amazing. You know when you have an old tool that doesn’t work well but it works well enough, and then it’s replaced with a far superior model and you can’t believe how long you put up with the crappy old tool? That was my experience with this watering wand. My old one leaked, so every time I used it my shoes and pants would be wet; this new wand is like entering a whole new world of hand-held garden irrigation.

This tank top, in a subtle camouflage, feels new, but it must be at least four or five years old. Isn’t that funny how that happens? And my black skirt, well, it’s a Summer Staple.

Sunday

It was a lovely surprise that my husband decided to take this week off; something was delayed, work-wise, and believe me, if he has the chance to take time off, he should take it. This is not something that happens with any sort of frequency; more typically he is working on our holidays and weekends, do not get me started on Easter weekend this year. In any case, on Sunday he decided to take the boys out to the mountains to camp for one night. The weather was a bit cooler – no more Heat Wave – and so I wore a tank and these pants, which are the cropped version of the lululemon City Sleek trousers, which you may remember are pants that look like actual pants, with button and zipper, but feel like yoga pants.

They are comfortable for sitting and lounging, which is what I did all evening. When the cat’s away, the mouse will play, and in my case, that means eating Greek salad and hummus while watching an episode each of The Golden Girls and The Muppets. I stayed up late into the night (read: 9:00pm) reading a memoir by Valerie Bertenelli; do not tell me I do not know how to live it up.

Monday

Well, the people complaining about the heat must have been happy, as it was chilly and rainy all day, with a high of only 18 degrees, which is in the low 60s, for you Fahrenheit people. Time for simple jeans and a tee, and an afternoon of reading, laundry, and a viewing of Velocipastor with the boys. Oh, Velocipastor. Not since The Godfather have we seen such cinematic glory. And yet this film about a priest who transforms into a dinosaur was snubbed by the Academy.

Tuesday

I spent a lovely morning with my chosen sister, Janet (HI JANET)

We hadn’t seen each other for a while, so we talked and walked, to the tune of 9.5 km. After that I showered and got a little dressed up for my much-looked-forward-to pedicure. I hurried down the street, which is going through sidewalk refurbishment, so I had to keep zigzagging to avoid the cement trucks and rebar people. I burst into the salon just barely on time, only to find out that my appointment was YESTERDAY and I missed it. I had either miscommunicated or written my appointment down incorrectly. I was so upset with myself; I never make mistakes like that, and it was embarrassing, not to mention inconvenient and a loss of income for a small local business. I was able to rebook myself for today, and I’m hoping a very large tip will make up for my unexplained absence on Monday. The owner looked at me sadly and said “We waited for you, but you didn’t come!” and I felt like a bit of a monster. I wasn’t doing ANYTHING Monday afternoon, I could have been having a pedicure!

Anyway, this is the super-cute outfit I had dressed up for; it dates back to 2016 at the latest, but I think it’s probably earlier. It’s a skort, of course, and an actual bra under my tank top, that’s how dressed up I was.

My older son is my fashion photographer, and he made me retake this photo. “Mom, your face looks really grumpy. Can you smile like you’re not grumpy?”

Wednesday

My older son and I have been talking for years about biking the Banff Legacy Trail, and on Wednesday we did it! We biked from Canmore to Banff and back, and it was really a perfect morning. I knew we would be gaining elevation from on the first half, but it was gradual so I didn’t realize it until we turned around to go back; it felt like we were flying back to Canmore, and in fact we were 15 minutes faster going that direction.

This skirt, which I have had for seven or eight years, has padded shorts underneath, and let me tell you, padded shorts are a must. A MUST. I had a tank top underneath this very lightweight top, which was perfect for the temperature and to keep the sun off my shoulders. There’s very little shade on the path, particularly when we were finishing up near noon. All in all a perfect day.

Lots of summer fun this week and lots to come, I hope. I hope you are having a beautiful summer as well. Tell me: do you have a Summer Uniform? Do you like biking and hiking in the summer, or are you having an Actual Heat Wave, as opposed to a Calgary Heat Wave? Tell me everything. xo

The Big Project

Posted on July 18, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

Longtime readers may remember the great Life Changing Magic I experienced, back in 2016, accomplished merely by Tidying Up. I Kondo-ed my entire house that year, section by section, and then followed that with the No-Shopping Challenge of 2017-18. The two experiences, together, really changed my consumer behaviour for the better. I became incredibly mindful of all purchases, but particularly clothing purchases. I bought clothes and shoes with intention. In terms of household items, I established a routine wherein I would have one backup in storage of all food or cleaning staples, and when I used that backup, I would add the item to my shopping list. This worked really well for me. Nothing expired or got freezer-burned, my clothes were all pieces that I loved, and I didn’t have a cupboard full of useless products, bought on a whim.

Then the pandemic hit.

I know I don’t have to tell you how it affected my personal consumer behaviour, because it probably affected yours in the same way; the mere idea that there could be a shortage of an item was enough to make me panic and buy that item whenever it was available, no matter that I already had a backup of that item, or, in some cases, several backups of that item. At one point I had one hundred pounds of flour in the house – four twenty-five pound bags, I just kept picking up a bag every time it was available – and although I do indeed bake a lot, that is really too much flour for a family of four. It was at that point I told myself that I could not buy any more until I had used up the last backup, and I kept to it.

Flour wasn’t the only thing I panicked about; I still have a lot of baking powder and, bizarrely, cream of tartar. I could make enough play-dough for every preschool program in the city at this point. My freezers were all full and so was my pantry, and I realized that all my good and reasonable consumption patterns had taken a turn.

I definitely needed a reset when it came to purchases, particularly in the area of groceries and household products. At the beginning of the pandemic, I bought some non-hippie cleaning supplies when they became available – remember how we couldn’t get things like Lysol? – and because I usually use my natural, hippie, probably-isn’t-effectively-killing-germs-but-they-smell-nice cleaners, I still have those bottles, unused, in my cupboard.

Then I read The Curated Closet and, looking at my own overflowing closet, it was like a little light went off in my head. Time for a project, and not just a project, but A Big Project. I needed to Change My Life, again.

I started with what can only be described as a mix between the Kon-Mari method, the Curated Closet ideology, and Swedish Death Cleaning. I apologize for referring to my own eventual demise two weeks in a row, but I promise you I am not planning to shuffle off this mortal coil just yet. However, I did have a what am I keeping this for moment while looking at some of my things, remembering when my grandma was moved into long-term care from her apartment. In cleaning out her apartment, there were so many items that, sadly, no one had use for. I want someone to use the things I have, even if it’s not me using them.

One of my friends was collecting linens and the like for a couple of charitable projects of her own, and so I made the plunge and donated four full sets of old towels and three blankets that I was keeping for no particular reason. Well, there was a reason for the towels: my thinking was that in case our basement ever flooded, I would have extra towels to mop up the water. For context, this has never happened, and we have lived in this house for 22 years. Our basement got slightly wet near a single window back in 2005, the summer I was pregnant with my younger son, and that was due to an enormous amount of rain and a malfunction of our eavestroughs. Those eavestroughs have long since been fixed, and being our basement didn’t even get a drop of water during Calgary’s 2013 flood, I felt that four extra sets of towels, particularly ones that are never used, were just too many towels.

After that, I had momentum going for me. I tackled my closet and dressers, and believe me, that is a task in itself. I tend to buy quality, non-trendy pieces that last a long time, which means I have many things that are over a decade old, but still are in great shape. I have been the same size for probably fifteen years, but my body shape has changed, if that makes sense, so some of those items, while they technically fit, did not feel good at best or felt unflattering at worst.

I made a vow to keep only pieces that I love and that make me feel, if not gorgeous, at least cute. LOVE means different things, right? The love I feel for my husband and kids is different from the love I feel for a glass of cabernet franc, or for coconut milk ice cream. Similarly, the love I feel for a fabulous black dress is different than the love I feel for a cute old tee, emblazoned with the words Shine On, that I wear when I am gardening. But the key to cleaning out my closet was I wanted nothing in there that I didn’t love or that I didn’t feel fabulous in. Can you feel fabulous in yoga pants and a sweatshirt? I think you can, because I do, albeit in a different way than when I’m in a dress and heels. Different costumes for different activities! Gardening clothes are different from workout wear, and both are different from going-out clothes, but different doesn’t mean better or worse. Right? My body shape is different, but that doesn’t mean it’s any better or worse than five or ten years ago.

In an effort to show the clothes I love some love, I bought a big set of velvet hangers, got rid my mishmash of plastic and wire hangers – NO! WIRE! HANGERSSSSSSS! – and took every item out of my closet and dressers. When I wasn’t sure about something – a dress I hadn’t worn for years, for example – I tried it on and if I didn’t feel spectacular, I put it in the donation pile. If I felt meh about a piece, I put it in the donation pile. I thought, if it doesn’t Spark Joy or I don’t Love It, it goes. The hardest part was getting rid of sweaters that were expensive to start with, even if I had gotten a lot of wear out of them. But there were some that I just didn’t love anymore, for whatever reason, and I thanked them for their service and hoped they found their way into the closet of someone who would love them.

Fortunately for me, in the middle of this the Kidney Foundation happened to call to see if I had any donations; this was their haul, three of those bags being from my sons’ cull of their respective closets.

One of the rules from The Curated Closet is to carefully examine your wardrobe, identify gaps or needs, then – and only then – make careful, measured purchases. I have to say, in a completely honest way, that I have no gaps or needs, even after this massive cull. You guys, I have a lot of clothes. It’s ridiculous. I am not going to go on another No Shopping Year, mostly because if I do I fear my mother will disown me and my husband will leave me, but I have made a few rules for the next year, starting May 27, which is when I began The Big Project.

No quick purchases. If there is something I think I need in the clothing department, I am going to wait at least a week to purchase it to see if I can be without it. Chances are I already have several similar items in my closet; i.e., my twenty black sweaters and thirty-two black tees in a variety of sleeve lengths and fits.
Socks and underwear are exempt from Rule #1. Those items can be purchased whenever required.
Seasonal essentials are somewhat exempt from Rule #1; I have many, many pairs of gloves and scarves and hats, but should I require something that will allow me to live my vida hygge, or friluftsliv, I shall not hesitate.
Decent footwear is vital to my well-being, and if any of my current sandals, shoes, running shoes, or winter boots wear out, they can be immediately replaced.
If it doesn’t make me feel fabulous, it doesn’t belong in the closet. This means new purchases, yes, but it also means I need to assess my old favourites from time to time, as my body changes with perimenopause.

So here I am, almost two months into the Rules already, and I have kept to them so far! The next step is dealing with the pantry and household goods; stay tuned.

Weekly Reading

Hooked. This was so interesting; the cover somewhat suggests one of those weird lecture-style books about the dangers of food, but it was not like that at all. Instead, it’s a smart and well-researched book on the nature of addiction, the role memory plays in our eating lives, and corporate manipulation. There is a lot about the processed food industry, and a sideline about the famous McDonalds lawsuit. I was excited to read about Indra Noori and PepsiCo, whose memoir I had recently read. Noori famously worked towards bringing healthier choices to PepsiCo, and was lauded for it by everyone BUT Wall Street. That was a detail that was not in her memoir, and apparently one of the reasons she stepped down in 2018. Investors, apparently, wanted more of those crazy unhealthy multi-product items on the menu.

Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have To Offer. I put this on my library hold list for a reason, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what that reason was. Did I hear about it on a podcast? Did I read about it in an interview? In any case, it was very, very different from what I was expecting, which was, as it says on the cover, “…a masterly ode to unfettered, unrestrained, and unrepentant joy.” I’m pretty sure I would not use the word “joy” to describe this collection of essays. I was expecting joyful discussion of tacky pop culture, and each essay did circle back to a different piece of pop culture, that’s correct. The author is many years my junior and so the pop culture in question that shaped her youth were things that I vaguely remembered from my twenties and thirties and, in the case of Guy Fieri, my forties. I suppose it’s because of my age that I had that not-unfamiliar motherly/ big sisterly feeling of alarmed disappointment when I read about her frankly quite horrifying and unhealthy exploits. Honey, you deserve better than this, I thought constantly, along with For the love of god, make better choices. So I’m not the desired demographic. I will say that each depressing essay was extremely well-written; the author is a talented essayist, even if I find the content disturbing and sad.

Heart Talk. I am including this in my weekly reading, although I have been reading it, one or two pages at a time, for months, before my yoga practice in the morning. It was a lovely way to start my practice; it’s such a gem of a book about self-care and self-love. Perfect pre-yoga reading!

I hope you are all having a lovely summery week, friends! I am going to leave you with photos of “the twins,” taken on my morning run when I was up at my parents’ place last week. Aren’t they sweet? xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The 10th Anniversary Edition!

Posted on July 14, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

This month marks the tenth anniversary of Nicole’s Favourite Things! A whole decade of writing about beauty products, clothes, food, and the occasional gadget. Two things: a) wow, I have been writing this blog for a very long time, and b) looking back at my very first Favourite Things, I still have all of those tops.

Ah, summer. I have been working very hard for this past year to really Embrace The Season, but here we are in my actual favourite season, so no hard work is needed. I love summer. I often idly wonder if I would actually miss seasonal changes if I lived somewhere like Maui, where it’s just one long summery paradisiacal day after another. Maybe I would? But it’s hard to imagine.

In my first Favourite Things, I expressed my love for summer clothes, and summery beauty products, and produce-heavy salads for dinner with berries for dessert. I still love all of those things and I probably always will! If I lived in a place where it was always summer, would I miss my sweaters and boots? Would I miss hearty winter meals and moisturizers for chapped skin and lips? Like I said, maybe, but it’s hard to imagine.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I am Embracing The Hell Out Of Summer. When it’s sunny and warm, I just want to be outside all day long, and feel mild resentment when I have to go indoors. I have been like this my whole life; maybe I’m solar powered.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The 10th Anniversary Edition

Non-Psychologically-Scarring Skirts and No-Bra-Required Tank Tops

In honour of my first Favourite Things, I am going to talk about skirts with shorts attached and yoga tanks with built-in shelf bras. These are Enduring Favourite Things, and I have many of the same skirt and top but in different colours and patterns. What can I say, if it works, it works. Listen, living in Calgary there are, annually speaking, approximately 20 days total in which wearing light summery clothing is appropriate. That’s probably a high estimate, actually. The upside of this is that good summer clothing can last forever, as the chance to wear it out is limited. The moment the temperature rises above a certain point, which would probably be considered chilly for my Southern friends, I don a skirt. I think they are cute, and they are very practical with the shorts underneath; I never have to worry about accidentally psychologically scarring random passersby or, more likely, my own children when the wind picks up.

I also love a good yoga tank with a built-in shelf bra; this is a thing that works for me mainly because I am, how shall we say, not exactly overly gifted in the chestal region. I wear these year-round, as a layer mostly, but on warm days they can stand alone.

Talk To Me Goose

My love for Top Gun is well-known; I have loved it since I walked to the theatre with my cousins and older brother in Estevan, Saskatchewan, in the summer of 1986. To this day I remember my outfit on that sweltering prairie night: jeans and a pale pink, tie-dyed, off-the-shoulder short sleeved sweatshirt, despite the heat. I was smart enough by that time to realize that the one theatre in Estevan boasted air-conditioning, and let me tell you, they wanted you to know they had air-conditioning. It was always freezing, and if you were naive enough to wear summer clothing to an evening show, you would be blue by the time the movie ended. Anyway, back when Hannah, Allison, and I cowrote a fun nostalgic blog (HI HANNAH HI ALLISON), I wrote one of my favourite pieces ever, about Life Lessons From Top Gun.

All of which is to say I love Top Gun, and I love the NEW Top Gun as well. Do not ask me to tell you which one is “better.” That is an impossible choice akin to the one Sophie made, and I will not make it. In any case, my husband bought me this shirt, and I love it so much:

It must be worn with aviators. It’s a law.

Pedicures and Sandals

In the summer I swap my boots for sandals, but because I am 47, my sandals need to be of the utmost comfort. Who has the energy for painful footwear anymore? I have found Skechers sandals to be the cutest and most comfortable of all the sandals. These are my favourite, and they are good for walking too:

But I also love these sparkly slides, perfect for the days at the lake:

I have heels for the rare occasion that I need them:

I keep my feet groomed throughout the year; being a yoga teacher my feet are on display constantly, so regular pedicures are a must. I used to exclusively do my own pedicures, but there is the cutest little nail salon just down the street from me, and their prices are fabulous. With each pedicure they give a hot stone massage AND they exfoliate using orange slices, which I love. I still touch up my polish between pedicures, but I definitely go to the salon more frequently in the summer.

Lettuce Pray and Flower Power

There is a great line in Sorrow and Bliss, when the husband acquires a plot in the community garden, and he says that they will now be self-sufficient, in the area of lettuce. I feel seen. I am currently self-sufficient, in the area of kale, as we just had our third cutting. I’ve also had two cuttings of Romaine, and although my leaf lettuce has been very very slow to grow this year, I am expecting to be able to cut it next week. At least, I hope so. Harvest time! I get so much joy out of gardening, it’s unbelievable. It feels like a superpower: do you like this salad? I GREW IT MYSELF.

The first of the roses bloomed – I grow John Cabot climbing explorer roses, explorer roses being the only ones I think are sufficiently hardy to survive our winter temperature fluctuations. This is always exciting as the first one is quickly followed by a wall of blooms.

Let The Spinning Wheel Turn

This week marks my two-year anniversary of the arrival of my Peloton! It was, without a doubt, my very favourite thing to come out of 2020. I know the bar is pretty low, but still. On the actual date of my first ride – which is this Sunday – I plan to revisit the same class I did then, a 45 minute disco ride with Leanne.

It has been a really fun way for me to increase my cardio fitness, and it is measurable: that first 45 minute ride, my output was 277. My usual output these days for a similar class is around 400. If you know, you know! Do you have a Peloton and want to be Peloton friends with me? If the answer to that is YES, my leaderboard name is NicoleBoyhouse.

Wistfulness and Avocados

I have two favourite links this month, both summery in their own way. The first is from my longtime, beautiful, smart, and all-round lovely bloggy friend Suzanne (HI SUZANNE). Suzanne wrote about how you can’t go home again, and the piece, like her, is beautiful, smart, and all-round lovely.

My other favourite link is from a newer blog friend, Jamie (HI JAMIE). Jamie wrote about toxic diet culture, body acceptance, taking up space, and avocados as a metaphor for our bodies. I love a good metaphor and I love a good avocado, but most of all I love her message, particularly in the summer when we are inundated with images of “beach bodies” and “bikini bodies” and what have you.

There’s so much to be grateful for in the summer, there is so much to love, but I particularly love and am grateful for YOU, my dear readers, for being here and for listening to a decade of Things that are my Favourite. xo

Cart Karma

Posted on July 11, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

This is not new information, but I am a strong believer in karma. I really do think that our actions have reactions, and that we get back what we send into the world, for better or worse. How many times have I thought I’d never do THAT and then I find myself in that exact situation, doing exactly that which I have disparaged? The answer is many. Many, many times. I have also said or done things that I have regretted, and that negative karma came right back to bite me, many times in my life.

Related to karma, a subset of karma, if you will, is Cart Karma. I think there are two things most associated with me as a person: the song Landslide, and my incandescent rage at people who do not return shopping carts to the carrel. Well, incandescent rage might be extreme. It really depends on the time of the month and what else is going on in my life at the time; my feelings range from mild irritation to disgust to despair for all humanity to incandescent rage.

When I die, may that be many decades in the future, I want my obituary to request that in lieu of flowers or any kind of charitable donation, my final wish is for people to just return their carts to the carrel. If we all did this, the world would be a much, much better place.

Also, I want Landslide to play at my funeral.

My disgust for non-shopping-cart-returners is so well known that even people I don’t know well send me memes or articles about shopping carts. Last week my dear friend Hannah (HI HANNAH) sent me this article, and it was a Very Satisfying Read. As Hannah said, I love that science basically proved that some people are dicks. Listen, I have All The Empathy for young mothers who have screaming children and for whom every second counts and maybe, maybe, maybe sometimes that means that they don’t return their carts. I give those women a pass. But I think that those women are in the extreme minority, as per my observations in the field. In fact, I have never seen a person with screaming children leave their cart askew, but I believe that they exist.

Most of my shopping is done at Superstore which, happily for my mental state, employs coin-operated shopping carts. You had better believe that even the most dedicated non-shopping-cart-returner will take their cart back to the carrel to get their dollar. I mean, children could be melting down, bombs could be going off inside their car, a tornado could be touching down in the parking lot, and they would still retrieve their loonie. No one in the history of the world has ever not returned a coin-operated cart. I know we would all like to believe that we all naturally want to work together towards the Greater Good, but if parking lots are any indication, Adam Smith was right. We need the Invisible Hand of the coin-operated shopping cart in order to achieve the social benefits and public good of an organized parking lot. Without external financial motivators, all devolves into utter chaos and disorder. It might be disheartening, but it’s true.

My general grocery routine is to visit Superstore weekly, right at their opening time. As I have said, this is good for my mental state, even if Superstore is constantly going through weird and unexpected shortages, that may or may not be pandemic-related. An example very relevant to my life: it has been very hard to get popcorn lately; Boom Chicka Pop has all but disappeared from the shelves, and so I have resorted to Skinny Pop and the ridiculously and kind of offensively-named Lesser Evil. I know. I know. I probably brought the Boom Chicka Pop shortage on myself for purchasing such a stupid item that applies a moral valuation to food, which I am against on principle. But needs must, sometimes.

Every two or three weeks, right after my Superstore visit, I head to Costco which, happily, has an opening time exactly one hour after Superstore. The later I get to Costco, the more disorganized the parking lot is, so for my own psychological health I try to get there as close to nine as possible. But sometimes, it doesn’t happen.

Let’s circle back to Cart Karma. Cart Karma, for those unfamiliar with the concept I have been broaching lo these many years, is that if you rescue a stranded cart from the parking lot, you will have a great shopping experience. I know it’s just one cart among many, but like the story of the child throwing starfish back into the sea, you might not be able to save them all but you can save THIS one. I remind myself of that every shopping trip, as I look in despair at all the carts stranded in parking spaces and awkwardly shoved onto the medians. I can save this one. It can feel overwhelming, but every cart we save makes a difference.

A few weeks ago, this is what I saw:

Even for Costco, this was a new low. You will notice in the background a cart in the parking space: that’s standard. But this, this is in the middle of the ROADWAY where people DRIVE. People driving into the parking lot would have to maneuver their cars around it, and I am not going to live in that kind of world. There were many unsaved carts to choose from but I chose this one. NOT ON MY WATCH, PEOPLE.

I saved that cart and I had a great shopping experience: no lineups, no crowds in the famously-crowded produce section, almond butter at a much-lower price than normal which is notable because everything else is much-higher, and my favourite dried strawberries were available. Dried strawberries are only available a couple times a year, and so even though I am trying not to overstock my pantry, I stocked up. (My husband, later, looked at the receipt with puzzlement. “You spent $58 on strawberries? What…kind of strawberries?” For the record, it was six bags of strawberries and that should last me a solid six months.)

Let us compare that shopping trip to the one before that. I don’t know, I was just exhausted to start out with. It took over ten minutes to just get into the parking lot, as the lineup for the gas station – selling gas at a ten cent discount – snaked through the entrances and precluded anyone from pulling in. By the time I got into the parking lot, with a trunk full of perishable and frozen items from Superstore, I just felt defeated. Faced with all the carts, I slipped into despair for all of humanity, and I couldn’t pull myself up enough to save a cart. I felt like the weight of the world was on my cart-saving shoulders, and I just couldn’t. I walked past all the many stranded carts (pick me, Nicole, pick me!) and took one from the lineup at the entry.

And I had a Very Poor Shopping Experience. Proof! Cart karma works! There were no berries in the produce section, there was no lemon juice – did anyone else notice the blip in Real Lemon supply? – and the lineups were insane. I also had a very strange run-in with a man while I was in the lineup.

It happened when I had been in line for at least eight minutes, and I was next up at the cashier. I was standing the requisite six feet back, giving the fellow in front of me plenty of room to unload. My phone pinged with a text, and I glanced down to look at it. I could hear the man behind me say, somewhat aggressively, “Move your CAAAART.”

Startled, I turned back to look at him, my eyes wide. He gave me a quick smile and said “You know, like that Ikea commercial! Move the caaaaar!” He laughed, like it was a joke, giving me a hand signal that is the Universal Sign of “Go, go.”

Two things: the Ikea commercial in reference is “Get the caaaaaar!” not “Move the caaaaaar!” and also, the fellow in front of me was still unloading and we are in a point in time where we do not crowd other people or bump their legs with our carts. What a time to be alive. Still startled, I nodded politely, and moved my cart forward less than one inch, in the Universal Sign of “I acknowledge your statement, but I shall not acquiesce to your request in any meaningful way.”

This was when I realized that my Cart Karma was lacking, and I had to do something to change it. I turned around and said, in the sweetest possible voice, “You know what, why don’t you go ahead of me? You have so few things and I have so many.” Let me tell you, the look on this gentleman’s face, this person who had behaved rudely but tried to pretend he hadn’t, was worth the price of admission. It was the picture of shock. I insisted he unload, as I moved my cart backwards. He thanked me several times as he unloaded, thanking me again as he wheeled his cart away. I smiled behind my mask, thinking about heaping coals of kindness on my enemy’s head.

It was worth the extra few minutes; by the time I got back to the parking lot I was in a gloriously good mood, despite my lack of lemon juice, and I made every green light on the way home.

Weekly Reading

Sorrow and Bliss. This was a very intense and moving book about a woman living with a hereditary mental illness; the author note states that this is a fictional mental illness, and it is referred to in the book as ____. I found this book compellingly readable and extraordinarily written, but I’m not going to across-the-board recommend it due to trigger warnings all over the place, notably suicide and pregnancy loss. If you’re okay with these topics though, I think you’ll like it. Ultimately, it’s a hopeful book, although it’s a bit of a roller coaster. It really shows how mental illness affects everyone involved, and I found my emotions were all over the place when I read it.

Heating and Cooling. Sometimes I am just blown away by talent, and this was one of those times. This woman can WRITE. I am always amazed at the depth that someone can write, in very few words. I say this after I wrote 1500 words about shopping carts. This book though. It’s a collection of “micro memoirs,” some of which are only a paragraph or two long, and the author conveys a novel’s worth of thought into each one. Absolutely incredible.

The Last Story of Mina Lee. And with that, my streak of incredible books came to a thudding halt. This wasn’t terrible. But neither was it particularly good. It had so much potential – a first generation Korean woman explores her late mother’s stories and life, discovering secrets and finally coming to understand her. It had potential but ultimately fell flat for me.

Also something that sadly fell flat for me? The Elvis movie. I wanted to LOVE it, and it was interesting enough but way too long and with not enough music or details about Elvis’ life. There was SO much detail about Colonel Parker, who was essentially criminal, and I guess that was the point of the movie. But I wanted more Elvis and Priscilla! I will have to look out my old, falling-apart edition of Elvis and Me, I guess. Have a beautiful week, friends! Save a cart! xo

Five For Friday: Nature, New Things, and No Soliciting

Posted on July 8, 2022 by Nicole Boyhouse

New Dishes. I have a very loose, “let’s see how this goes” goal of making one new thing for dinner each week, or, trying one new recipe. These are two different things as I am notoriously poor at following recipes when it comes to dinners. I am essentially one of those people who I loathed when I worked at YMC, a person who changes pretty much every element in a recipe, and then comments on that recipe, but without the commenting part. So, I guess not at all like a person I loathed. In any case, this week’s new recipe was cold quinoa salad with lots of veggies and edamame, a Thai-inspired dressing, and crispy chickpeas and lentils. If you’ve never had crispy lentils, I recommend it: I tossed some drained and rinsed canned lentils in olive oil, salt, and pepper and roasted them at 400 convection for about 20 minutes; they are small little things so I wasn’t sure how long to do it, and I checked on them every five minutes. My whole family loved it, I repeat, my family of meat-lovers LOVED THE LENTILS. I normally dislike leftovers and never eat them, but I put aside a small container for myself, as it was a perfect lunch to take on our hike the next day.

The Path Sometimes Taken. I also have a loose goal to go to the mountains More Often, which is about as loose a goal as one can get. Yesterday the boys and I hiked around Stewart Canyon which is about seven kilometres and not as much elevation as I typically like in a hike, but it was a lovely day. Once we reached the end of the trail, there was a small path with a sign that said “Warning: Path Ahead Not Maintained,” so of course, we took it to see what would happen. What happened is that we had to climb over many fallen trees until we got to the point where the path was completely blocked, at which point we turned back and ate the afore-mentioned lunch.

There’s A Sign, Read It. Speaking of signs, we have a No Soliciting one on our mailbox. At least ten years ago, but probably more, our doorbell stopped working. I asked my husband, who is very handy and who has repaired many, many things in our house over the past 22 years, to please NOT fix it. At the time, I was home alone most days, and the only people ringing the doorbell were door-to-door solicitors, and I am never going to want to save money on my heating bills or purchase a paper copy of the Calgary Herald. If I was having company, I’d watch for people at the door, and all my friends know to knock, anyway. This was great for a time – it’s pretty easy to not answer the door when there’s no doorbell – but then solicitors started knocking. Can I just say the best thing about 2020 was that door-to-door soliciting stopped? Anyway, sometime in 2021 it restarted, which is when we put the sign on our mailbox, which is directly beside our door. Yesterday I was relaxing after our hike, reading, and I heard a very loud knock at the door. I looked up, thinking it was a delivery and wondering what we had delivered, when I saw a man looking in the window at me reading in my chair. I could see he had a lanyard and a Telus uniform, and I just knew, the way you know about a good melon, that he was here to talk to me about changing internet service providers. I opened the door, and as soon as he greeted me, I said “I have a No Soliciting sign, and I ask that you please respect it.” I said it pleasantly and politely, with my face arranged in a pleasant and polite way, and then I shut the door. I could see him lift up his hands and shake his head in a what’s with this woman kind of way and I will tell you, I was VERY annoyed. This is the second such interaction in as many weeks. The first was a fellow with no lanyard and no uniform who told me he was selling “organic meat and seafood,” which a) ew, b) I eat neither meat nor seafood, not that he would know that, c) who sells MEAT door-to-door, d) we are in land-locked Alberta, SEAFOOD, really, e) this sounds like a scam, and f) I HAVE A NO SOLICITING SIGN ON MY DOOR. I could have pointed out any of those things but I went with f. Anyway, after yesterday’s interaction I found myself unaccountably enraged. I mean, over-the-top, screaming-into-the-void enraged. I immediately texted my very good friend and neighbour Taryn (HI TARYN) and asked her if I was overreacting. She very gently said that I had every right to feel that way but also, perhaps, my emotions were near the surface as I didn’t have a fuzzy companion by my side when I opened the door. She was 100% right, of course. I went into the garden to calm down a little.
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz. I have been spending a lot of time in my garden this week; Tuesday was a particularly low and sad day, but I found it healing to watch the giant fat bumblebees buzzing around. They seem to love the flowers just below the kitchen window, and I could watch them forever, collecting their pollen, as busy and purposeful as can be. The first of my daylilies are blooming, my roses are just about to, and my columbines are putting on a glorious show. This weekend I will have my THIRD cutting of kale, which is the upside to this very cool and rainy start to the summer. It’s maybe not great for the rest of the garden, but I have a tiny little pepper on one of my plants, so there’s hope.