Psychological Long Covid

Well, it has been a very busy and festive week in the Boyhouse! The biggest news, of course, was that we celebrated a 17th birthday!

There was a parent meeting for the birthday boy’s Phys Ed camping trip at the end of the month, notable because I still find it novel that we are having parent meetings in person. The camping trip itself is Very Backcountry, which should be interesting, as I inferred from the meeting that very few of my son’s fellow students have been camping at all, let alone in the backcountry. Where can I charge my phone was a question asked in his class, which is amusing since there is no electricity and in fact no signal at all where they are going. I mean, they are going to have to treat their water before drinking it, this is the level of Backcountry. It sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me, but he’s excited. He camps annually with his dad and brother but it’s never this extreme. I hope no one gets giardiasis.

Back in the fall of 2019, he started spending two lunch hours a week learning all the boring ins and outs of sailing; he did fundraising and worked really hard to go on the Grade Nine Sailing Trip, which was something he had looked forward to all through junior high and which he felt would be the Pinnacle of His Life, So Far. Of course, it was cancelled, and to say that was a disappointment would be an enormous understatement. All of which is to say I’m very happy for him and his hellish camping trip; I wouldn’t say that things are Pre-2020 Normal around here, just over two and a half years from the first lockdown, but I’m no longer feeling constantly anxious that activities are going to get cancelled at the last minute. I no longer refuse to think more than a week ahead of time.

I was feeling a bit weird and anxious on my last grocery trip, however. Superstore has rearranged all – ALL – of its aisles, which is incredibly disorienting. Instead of efficiently popping down Aisle Five, say, to grab a box of pasta, I found myself slowly wandering through each and every aisle just trying to find the pasta, as the signage detailing what was contained in each aisle were not consistently updated. Nothing was in the least bit intuitive: the condiments were beside the toilet paper, the cereal was tucked into the Natural Foods section, which was separate from the hot cereal that was next to the garbage bags. It took me a moment to realize why this was happening, and that moment came when I realized I needed to go down the chip aisle, something I normally avoid, to grab snacks for my son’s birthday party.

The whole aisle was like that, just filled with big boxes containing fifty single-serving Old Dutch products, almost exclusively plain chips. It was clear then, that Superstore is just filling space and that they amalgamated all their aisles to make it look fuller.

Who is buying all this water? No one. So I suppose it’s great to give the illusion of full shelves. It was unnerving, to say the least.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there wasn’t much in the baking supplies department. There was flour, but they had arranged it to seem like there was much more than there was; there was probably a third of the stock that they normally have. And, of course, still no sriracha, and I have no idea when that will be back in stock.

This is where I will shamefully update you on my Just One Backup promise. A few weeks ago I saw this:

While I would like to say I thought Oh, lemon juice is plentiful again, isn’t that interesting, I did not react with such equanimity. Friends, I bought a bottle to go with my other six in backup. Then, that very same day, I went to Costco where they had Boom Chicka Pop on sale for two dollars off per bag.

I bought three bags.

Other than that I have been doing really well, I swear. I emptied the freezer almost down to nothing before buying a few things, I’m working my way through the jars of salsa and nut butters, and the kids ate every last eighth of a container of homemade ice cream before I started making more. I wonder if there is a Long Covid, but for our psychological health? I think I must have some kind of Psychological Long Covid that causes a hoarding instinct whenever I perceive a shortage of certain key items. You can bet that when sriracha comes back, I will be unable to keep to my Just One Backup rule. In the meantime, I am stretching out the 1/4 of a bottle that we have, hoping it will last as long as possible.

Weekly Reading

This week contains a hit and a miss!

Bookends. I had never heard of this podcaster; I picked up the book on the promise of her showing “how books can help us through tough times,” as it says on the cover. I love books and so I assumed I would love this. I WAS SO VERY WRONG. For one thing, there is absolutely no discussion on how different books helped the author through tough times, instead she merely lists the books she was reading at the end of each chapter with no discussion or context whatsoever. As an example, she writes about the very tragic death of her best friend, who lost her life in the Twin Towers on 9/11, and then at the end of the chapter she says the title of the book that she was reading, with absolutely no parallels drawn. If you want to just write a memoir, fine, but if you’re advertising it as something that shows the meaning and inspiration that comes from reading, then you should probably write something about the meaning and inspiration of that book, not just the title.

The author is an incredibly privileged woman with enormous inherited wealth, and boy does she make that clear. This might be the most humble-braggy, name-dropping book I have ever read, and I read Will Smith’s memoir, so that is saying something. Sure, I would probably also be very proud that my dad created his own Fortune 500 company, and that my mom’s second wedding was featured in Town and Country, but in the absence of any other context, it just comes across as obnoxious. There is a paragraph about the author working out on the elliptical machine in the gym of the very fancy Hotel Bel-Air, and John Legend was working out beside her. End of sentence. Not to get all Chekov’s gun on the woman, but if you’re going to mention John Legend working out beside you, there should be an anecdote about it, or at least a reason that it is mentioned, not just a statement of fact, otherwise it’s just ridiculous name-dropping.

Even in the more relatable moments, like with parenting struggles, I found myself rolling my eyes about them. It is HARD to parent small children but whenever she talks about something like bedtime or dinnertime, and then mentions her two employed nannies, well, it’s hard to feel too sympathetic. I’m sure parenting twin toddlers is incredibly difficult BUT such paragraphs are followed by a description of her super-rich mother sending her to a weekend spa to catch up on sleep. I mean. Life is stressful for everyone, but I feel much less compassion for a person who has to run with the stroller to the expensive Manhattan toddler activities or when someone is late to the very expensive private school parents’ night, than I might to a woman who is stressed to the maximum just putting food on the table for her children, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I had to remind myself to be compassionate – she did lose many people in tragic and horrific ways, and she did struggle with anxiety and depression. But her writing made it so hard to be compassionate. Anyway. I wanted to read it because of how it was advertised, all about books. I was extremely disappointed. Tl;dr, if you’re looking for a book about literature, this isn’t it.

Whew! That was a lot of words about a book I didn’t care for at all.

Writers and Lovers. I really enjoyed this gorgeously written book about a woman trying to live a creative life, trying to write a novel, all the while desperately needing to make a living and get herself out from under massive debt. It was particularly interesting to read right after Bookends. Yes, one is a memoir and one is a novel, but I could not help but be struck by the incredible differences between the memoir author and the protagonist of Writers and Lovers.

It’s obvious, of course, but being independently wealthy makes such a difference in being able to make it as a writer. In Writers and Lovers, the protagonist has to wake up very early to carve out writing time, and then work double shifts at a restaurant to pay her bills; she is absolutely crippled by debt and living in a garage, quite literally a starving artist. Compare that to Owens in Bookends, who is the recipient of enormous inherited wealth, such that, as she states, she never actually HAS to work in her life. She lives in a four-story brownstone in Manhattan, and was also a legacy student for both Yale AND Harvard Business School. Some people have everything literally handed to them and others, like in Writers and Lovers, have to hustle every minute of their lives, and have to try to still flex their creative muscles while their physical muscles are exhausted. It was a very interesting juxtaposition.

Speaking of exhausted muscles, it looks to be another busy week; I started back at teaching last week, and am getting to know a few new students, along with my old faithfuls. I hope you all have a wonderful week! xo

Comments

  1. Happy 17th to your not-so-little! That cake looks amazing, Nicole–please tell me all about it! I hope he has the best-est backcountry camping trip.

    Lily King is a big favorite. I might reread this. Also, when I was linking my old school in my post about reading Mary Stewart, I discovered that Indra Nooyi, whose book you read earlier this year, is an alumna! I don’t read many biographies, but I remember you liked it, and now I plan to read it just to see what she says about her elementary school days. (And I think you’d like Mary Stewart–it’s well written if old fashioned, and has some Scottish touches, if you’re into that. I don’t know where you’d find the books though, because many of the copies I own seem to be library discards.)

    I was bracing for supply chain issues when a freight train workers strike seemed imminent, but things certainly aren’t back to normal in stores around here either. I wonder when we’ll feel confident about being able to find things on demand again.

    • I found her book really interesting – what a brilliant and hardworking woman she is. I discovered that she left PepsiCo because shareholders were not happy with her trying to create healthier choices for the brand. I read that after I read her biography, which was fascinating.

  2. Happy Birthday to your son, and I hope he enjoys his hellish camping trip! Yes, it’s a relief not to have to worry about things being canceled anymore. But I think we’re all suffering from Psychological Long Covid to some extent or other. Our stores are usually pretty well stocked, but there are still items that are mysteriously very hard to get. I just accept it at this point. Someday- hopefully- it’ll feel so weird to just go to the store and buy everything on our lists!
    I loved Writers and Lovers! So good. And I will definitely skip Bookends- it sounds awful. Thanks for the warning.

  3. I can 100% buy in to the idea of Psychological Long Covid. Just your brief mention that baking supplies weren’t as abundant as normal made me mentally add flour to my shopping list and I don’t even think we NEED flour.

    I am making my way (too quickly) through my stockpile of sriracha, and I can tell you for certain that if it appeared on the shelves tomorrow I would buy double the amount I have right now. I mean, as long as that wouldn’t mean depleting the entire stock of it myself.

    Also, I think if something you use regularly is on sale, the “just one backup” rule goes out the window. Buying multiple is just financially smart at that point. 😉

    Your review of the rich whiny “reader” lady is bringing me joy today.

  4. I think the psychological long covid is going to manifest itself in a myriad of ways for different people. You will, apparently, consistently overbuy lemon juice and popcorn. I will never eat in a restaurant ever again and a cup holder in our car will always be devoted to a bottle of hand sanitizer.

    I was so excited to see you write about Writers & Lovers because last night we decided it would be our book club book for the next meeting! Yay! I’m glad it’s good. That’s a relief.

    • I was thinking of you and the restaurant thing – I have a dear friend who feels the exact same way as you! Meanwhile, my son is working in a restaurant!
      Writers and Lovers is great, I think you’ll really love it.

  5. The cake looks amazing; I’m glad your son had a nice celebration. The Backcountry camping does not sound like fun to me either, but I can see why it’s appealing to a lot of people.

    It’s weird to see you are dealing with empty shelves again. Hmmmm…I’ve not experienced that way down here…although, I’ve not been able to purchase Orzo pasta this year. It’s been on my list for so long, that I’ve forgotten what I needed it for.

    The memoir indeed sounds dreadful. Did she not have an editor tell her she came across as braggadocios?

    • Here’s the thing: I love being outside! I love the mountains! But I also like things like toilets. And my bed. And walls. And drinking water that I don’t have to boil! So no backcountry for me.

  6. Wishing your son a happy birthday! I enjoyed seeing your Instagram photos. Your boys are very handsome.

    We still buy groceries online! It has nothing to do with fear. I run errands every day, but I find it much easier to keep a list and shop online.

    I appreciate how honest that book review was. We need more reviews of books like that one. Like Suzanne said, it is bringing me joy today. ❤️

  7. Oof. Added one book to my TBR and one book to my “never gonna read that” list.

    I’m finding one-off shortages here and there. Last month you couldn’t buy mirin anywhere, now it’s back but the boys’s new favorite cereal is MIA. Our closest grocery store has been undergoing renovations for a while and it’s like the whole store gets rearranged every time that we go there.

    The cake looks delicious! My husband and oldest stepson had an epic “off the grid” boy scout hiking trip cancelled in 2020 and finally got to take it this summer. They had the time of their lives of course.

    • Oh, cereal! I have noticed that cereal is pretty low in volume too. My sons’ favourite hasn’t been available, and I actually checked another store and nope. I wonder if there’s a factory problem!

  8. I love the honesty of your book review, too. I think I heard a similar critique of this book on a book podcast. It was a hot take so she didn’t get into the specifics but that was the vibe I got. I listened to her podcast for awhile and stopped because I didn’t care for her. And I didn’t like the name of her podcast – “moms don’t have time to read.” I am sure it catches people’s eyes… but I have a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to the title. Mostly because so many people said “just wait until you have kids” and told me how little I’d read. Boy have I shown them wrong. But for me, reading is easy to fit into the day because I can do it anywhere without special clothes. Working out is harder because I can’t workout at 8:30 at night and sleep well. And I don’t have it in me to workout at like 4:30-5am because I am too tired/need my sleep. But reading is as my 4yo would say “easy peasy lemon squeezy” to fit into every day!

    I hate name dropping so so so much. There was a food memoir I read years ago that did the same thing w/ allll the name dropping. I would have enjoyed the book otherwise if she hadn’t talked about all the important food people she knows and blah blah blah. I’m not reading your book to hear about how you know Bobby Flay.

    I really liked Writers and Lovers. Lily King can write! I know there is a genre of ‘rich people behaving badly’ that some people are drawn to. But usually that vibe doesn’t extend to memoirs. Sounds like the book lacked an edit.

    Your grocery shopping experience sounds concerning… I will have to ask my husband what he’s been seeing. I used to always get hot takes from him when he got back from grocery shopping. He’s done our grocery shopping since I went back to work after having our 1st child. He would take pics for me during peak pandemic times of like empty produce shelves – like a pic of just a bunch of onion skins where there should have been heaps of onions. We have lived through some weird times and the aftershocks to supply chains and such seem never ending!

    • When I got the book I thought, oh, she has a podcast, neat. By two chapters in I thought “NEVER.” And I hated the name of it too. So silly.
      Lily King is great, I love her style of writing!
      I haven’t noticed much in terms of produce shortage – knock wood – but other things are really apparent right now!

  9. Backcountry camping? Yep I’m with you in that level of hell. Rearranging where items are in the store? That’s another level of hell. I HATE THAT. And to do that in addition to supply chain woes is evil, I tell you. Hope your teaching goes as planned and that you’re reading is more to your liking.

  10. Michelle Goggins - MG Doodle Studio says

    You are so right about Psychological Long Covid. I used to wonder at my grandparents saving a million Cool Whip containers, but now I get it. They learned to save everything during the Great Depression and couldn’t get over it. Future generations will say, “Why did Grandma have SO MUCH toilet paper?”

  11. That cake looks amazing!

    On off-grid camping trip sounds great right now; I’ve been struggling with using my phone too much lately and I feel like ripping the BandAid in a space where phone use is no option would be helpful?!

    Also, I haven’t noticed the store shelf issue, but my husband emerged from a store the other day and said SO much stuff was missing. He is also mildly panicked about the lack of sriracha…we’re down to 1/4 of a bottle!

  12. Ohhh…that cake looks so delicious! And the cookies, too!

    I thought of you as I grabbed not one, not 2, but 3 bags of Chicka Boom Pop on Saturday. Did I say we’re not popcorn eaters? Well, it turns out we are. My husband and I ate 2 bags in 2 weeks…and I didn’t have any last week, so I grabbed 3 on Saturday — will it be enough to last us until I go again in 3-4weeks?

    I have been doing a lot of curbside pick-up so I don’t know the condition of shelves. I do know that there are still things I used to buy that are not available. Like our favorite frozen fries. It’s one of those things we know we can make at home but it’s so convenient to throw a few frozen in the air fryer — and the ones we love are the perfect size and texture and taste!

    That camping trip sounds so awesome — in theory only, for me. It’s one of those things I wish I enjoyed but knowing me, I’m better off without experiencing. We don’t camp so the one or 2 times we did, it was fun but also a lot of work and not very restful. Our last “camping” was in tent in cabins in Yosemite. It was the right balance of “camping feel” and comfort for me for a few days.

    • TEACH ME YOUR AIR FRYER WAYS. I have been trying to make frozen sweet potato fries in the air fryer and have been disappointed. I’ve followed directions, I’ve shaken the fries, but still they don’t turn out great.

      I’m NOT a camper, particularly when there is no running water available!

      • Air fryer ways: We are not experts ourselves but I’ve read from other users that the key is to make warm up the air fryer, just like you’d warm up the oven. It has worked for us, making crispy fries (both regular and sweet potato). And we make sure it’s spread out, enough room for them to get crispy and not soggy just as in the oven. Hope you find a way to make it work — so yummy and so convenient!

        Oh, that’d be really hard to be comfortable with no running water! When we did tent cabins, we didn’t have running water inside but the common bathrooms/showers were not too far and they were clean and very usable. So I didn’t mind it for a few days and enjoyed the novelty of it.

  13. That cake looks so yummy! Happy birthday to your son. I can’t wait to hear the the camping trip goes and how they all fare without their phones. Who the heck is buying all that bottled water?? It drives me crazy. I haven’t noticed any shortages here in Ontario with one exception; red curry paste. Not a problem though- I just learned how to make my own and saved a bit of money in the process (tomato paste + spices seems to work).

    • The phone won’t be a problem for my son, I am more worried about the drinking water! Lol.
      Red curry paste! I haven’t noticed that shortage, but I’ll have to look now. I’m curious!

  14. I loved Writings & Lovers, too! It was one of the last audiobooks I listened to last year and I still have fond memories of rushing around with Christmas errands while listening to that book. It was so lovely!

  15. Happy birthday to your big 17 year old! I hope his camping trip is just the right amount of fun/roughing it. And you made me laugh with your Will Smith comment…that was the only autobiography I have ever read that made me like someone way less…and that was pre-slap.

  16. I’m glad J gets to go on his camping trip, after missing the sailing trip. When North was in middle school the Spanish immersion 7th & 8th grade took an international trip in alternate years with the French immersion 7th & 8th grade going the other year. It was the Spanish year when North was in 7th, so they got to go to Colombia. If it had been 8th grade, it would have been cancelled (which is what happened to the French immersion kids).

  17. Dang, I’m not sure how I missed this post yesterday, but let’s just say you had me at that photo of the b-day cake. That looks amazing.

    Hooray for the camping trip. I’m dying at the WHERE DO I CHARGE MY PHONE question. I’m hoping for a great follow up post full of the details of how certain campers survived.

    I had not heard of Bookends, but it makes me wonder what the publisher was thinking. It sounds like one eyeroll moment after another. Thanks for the heads up.

    Good luck with your upcoming busy week.

  18. I loved Writers and Lovers! As an artsy young person I remember this being many of my friends. I also read a memoir once similar to Bookends – it was about a woman who’s new husband had a massive stroke on the plane to their honeymoon, and how he changed and the difficult path of recovery. A trying and sad story to be sure. BUT. This woman let it drop so many times about how her dad was the governor of New York (or some other high-level politician) and he just called in favors with his friends who were all famous doctors and flew people around in his private jet. And since this was in America, no mention of the millions of dollars this medical care would have cost and how it would have destroyed the average person. Oh, and then I read ANOTHER one about a wife of a famous comedian who had a brain tumor (also sad and terrible), and everything was cool because she just happened to know all the top doctors and her nanny could take care of their kids while she was hospitalized. These people went through some hard things, but ended up being so unrelatable that I resented reading their stories.

    • See, this is exactly what I mean! The writing made me completely unsympathetic, although there were many things that happened to her that would normally incite a lot of compassionate feelings from me!

  19. Happy Birthday to the 17 year old! The cake and cookies look divine 🙂

    I also loved Writers and Lovers — what a heartwarming, happy dance kind of ending! And thank you for the honest review of Bookends – I can tell that it ISN’T for me. Some people have no clue how much of an advantage they have in life and that just irritates me to no end.

    And I say stock up on that lemon juice and popcorn with no guilt! Especially if having them in the house is truly important to you. It’s not like you’re “overdoing it” on everything, just what makes a difference to you. You deserve to know that you have a good stock of lemon juice and popcorn, dang it!

    (And yes, I hope no one picks up giardia on the camping trip. We are currently dealing with that here — long story — and it is NOT fun.)

  20. Happy birthday to your 17-year-old. Sounds like he’s really looking forward to get on that camping trip (no wonder after the sailing trip was canceled because of Covid!).

    I swear, every grocery store is rearranging their shelves right now and it’s an evil game…b beside the fact that I have a system when I shop (thankyouverymuch), it’s really upsetting that there is no rhyme or reason to how they reorganize the aisles…. it makes so sense.

  21. Hmm, maybe we are lucky right now (knocking on wood), but I just went shopping on Sunday and I thought our store seemed delightfully fully stocked!! Maybe I just didn’t need any of the sold out items… who knows!

    That first book does sound obnoxious. I struggle with things like that, because on the one hand, I feel strongly that each person’s situation is THEIR own situation- and that even “well off” people can really experience real, true, stress, even if it’s not the same as needing food/shelter. To them, in their own mind and perception, it can still be very debilitating. So I do hate to judge anyone’s stress as not worthy enough or whatever, but on the other hand, I totally know what you mean. It is hard to avoid the icky feeling when you listen to some of that stuff.

    Oh, and the comment about the mention of the books with no further info made me think of something that’s been bugging me. Do you ever listen to the podcast ‘Happier’? With Gretchen Rubin? I listen to it periodically, not religiously, and it’s a nice show. But it really irks me how at the end of each episode they name off the book they are each currently reading, with no further details. I know it’s not meant to be a whole book commentary, but they literally just say, “I’m reading (blank).” It just annoys me so much! I wish they would say, like, “I’m reading (blank) which is a memoir about so-and-so.” Or whatever- just a one line brief description, so I’d know if it might be interesting to me too!

    • Kae, you feel me. I just want a little more detail on the books people are reading. I don’t need a whole plot synopsis, but A LITTLE DETAIL WOULD BE NICE.
      And yes, 100% I feel so mixed because people’s lives are stressful and sad and money most certainly doesn’t solve everything. Problems are problems, pain is pain, no matter who is experiencing it. But. This whole book was just SO obnoxious that I didn’t feel compassionate at all. And I should have! Because this woman lost friends and family in truly the worst ways, and she deserves compassion. I just…couldn’t find it after reading it. It makes me feel bad but here we are.

  22. I’ll be right over for leftover cake, thanks.
    Also, your grocery store (with the eerie water aisle) freaks me out a bit. Yikes. I hate it when they ‘reorganize’ things and it winds up mostly confusing the poor customers. Sigh. (They’ve been renovating the Target across the street for months now, and I am using pick up because I just can’t even deal with it until they settle on where things will be…)

    The lack of further info on the books would drive me absolutely bonkers. I don’t care WHAT you are reading – I care what you THINK about it! Sheesh.

    Backcountry camping sounds amazing. My laptop would not survive, ergo, I would be disconnected. It sounds like bliss right now (until I return to civilization and encounter the aftermath…)

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