Category Archives: Pandemic At The Disco

Who Moved My…Clothes; Seventy-Four Weeks In

Posted on by

Every evening I choose a yoga/ workout outfit, complete with hairband and scrunchie, and I set those things in the bathroom; that way, when I wake up early I just slip into my clothes and I’m ready for my yoga practice and workout, without having to disturb anyone. I have been doing this essentially every day since 2008; it’s just part of my day.

I had plans for a big hike with my friends Janet and Susan (HI JANET HI SUSAN) on Tuesday, so Monday night I had packed up my backpack with clothing layers and water bottles, I had set out my hiking boots and poles, I had a lunch in the fridge and my hiking clothes set out on the table, AND I had my yoga clothes in the bathroom, so I could do a nice stretchy practice before a 15 km hike.

Tuesday morning, around 4:15 am, I started the coffee maker and headed to the bathroom to get dressed, and there were no yoga clothes. Confused, I stumbled back out to look at the table where my hiking gear was: no yoga clothes. I looked all over, including pawing through the kids’ laundry baskets – in the dark – and no yoga clothes. I finally tiptoed back into the bedroom, quietly grabbed a couple of pieces, and got dressed.

Have you ever became completely obsessed and crazy about something that is really very small? It doesn’t seem like a big thing, but it was. Usually I am able to focus on my breathing during my practice, but I was completely frazzled. Where were my clothes? I clearly remembered choosing the outfit – grey pants and a striped tank – and my hair accoutrements were in the bathroom, where were my clothes? Did I put them in the fridge? Did I put them in the hall cupboard with the towels? Did I throw them in the garbage? Did I lose my mind? DID SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE STEAL MY CLOTHES AND IF SO, WHY.

I’m generally fairly chill about a lot of things but apparently, losing my clothes in my own small house is not one of them. I cannot even describe the weird agitation I was feeling, or the feeling of complete relief and befuddlement when I went into my son’s room a second time to look through his laundry basket and – since the sun was up by this time – discovered the clothes lying on his floor beside the laundry basket. Long, incredibly boring story short, he had showered, gathered up his clothes along with, unwittingly, mine, and went to bed in the dark, dropping his clothes in his basket and my clothes, somehow, on the floor.

I don’t know either.

I kept thinking about the guy I worked with, twenty years ago, who read Who Moved My Cheese and told me it was the worst and stupidest book he had ever read in his life; on that kind of recommendation I have never read it, but whenever something is misplaced I think of him.

Anyway, the hike was fabulous and I had some really good Girl Time with my friends. Janet and Susan are the kind of women who are uplifting, inspiring, and so much fun to be around that I was just buzzing for the rest of the day. The guys had gone camping and when I got home to my empty house, my neighbour shared some vegetarian Greek food he had picked up at the Greek market, which was the cherry on top of a sundae of a day.

Speaking of Girl Time, I have been thinking a lot about female friendship and the various forms it takes. This was instigated from my reading of the Anne books, and particularly this week’s reading of Anne’s House of Dreams (more below). One of the characters, Leslie, is consumed by jealousy over Anne’s seemingly perfect life – Leslie’s life is just terrible and tragic, and their friendship, such as it is, is very much darkened by her feelings of jealousy and unfairness. It made me think a lot about the cultural narrative we have that we should hate women who have something that we do not. Why is this a thing? From Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful to She thinks she’s ALL THAT to my least-favourite line from my favourite movie, What does she look like? Thin, pretty, big tits…your basic nightmare. I mean, Janet has the most beautiful hair you have ever seen in your life – I’m not kidding, it’s long and thick and wavy, and she literally just washes it and goes, IT IS EFFORTLESSLY BEAUTIFUL. If I could somehow transplant her hair onto my head, I would, but instead I just admire it. But this is the point: although I covet her hair I don’t HATE her, quite the opposite, I love her to death. It’s my goal in life to be happy for people who have things that I never will, not just hair, but anything, and to not let jealousy get in the way of friendship or admiration.

In a horrible twist, Anne and Leslie become very good friends, but only after Anne suffers a terrible tragedy: her very much wanted first baby dies one day after birth. At that point, Leslie can see that we are all human and we all suffer, and, incidentally, things end up turning out really well for her in the end.

It’s a good lesson, really, we are all in this life together; jealousy gets us nowhere. The older I get, and the further away from the hectic intensity of parenting younger children, the more I appreciate and value the women in my life. We all have our wonderful gifts, and, to quote L.M. Montgomery, “If you can’t shine like a star, shine like a candlestick.”

Outfit of the Week

Almost every week this summer, I have thought I’d better post a really summery outfit, who knows how long this weather will last! We have had just the loveliest weather, and NO MOSQUITOES, which is unheard of. UNHEARD OF. Therefore, another summery outfit it is!

Yes, another skort from lulu and yes, another tank top from Old Navy, and I will go to my grave saying that Old Navy has the very best fitting tank tops at the very best prices.

Pandemic Reading

The Anne Series – Part Two. As I mentioned last week, I have been rereading the Anne series and I’m going to just put a “spoiler alert” here for anyone who does not want to know what happened in a book written a century ago.

Anne of Windy Poplars. After I finished Anne of the Island, I thought “Yay, House of Dreams is next!” and excitedly ran downstairs to retrieve it, only to discover that the next book was Anne of Windy Poplars. I HAVE read this book before but it made very little impression on me, the only thing I really remembered from it was sad sack Katherine-with-a-K. The book itself is a strange format, and very different from the preceding books: it is almost exclusively made up of letters from Anne, working as a school principal, to Gilbert, who is in medical school. The strangeness of it can be explained by the fact that it was written in 1936, when Island and House of Dreams were written in 1915 and 1917, respectively. Montgomery had a sad life and was battling depression, and was keeping her family financially afloat with her writing, particularly at this time of life.

Anne’s House of Dreams. I love this book; it is the most interesting of the Anne books. It has some very dark storylines and it also introduces three really great characters: Miss Cornelia, Susan, and Leslie. Miss Cornelia is the ultimate “lift up other women” woman, whose catchphrase “Isn’t that just like a man?” I want to adopt for my own. “I’m not hankering after the vote, believe me. I know what it is to clean up after the men.” What a line! Susan is the devoted housekeeper – “Do not worry about the pantry, Mrs. Doctor, dear. Susan is at the helm,” and Leslie is the afore-mentioned beautiful woman who has the most tragic life: married off at 16 to save her mother from losing her home, to a man who is an alcoholic and has probably impregnated and left a “girl from the harbour,” although this is alluded to very circuitously.

The darkest of the storylines, as I mentioned, is that Anne has a baby, and that baby dies. It’s terribly sad and dark, and as an adult it reads so differently: when she has “dreams” (read: is pregnant) again, a “grim shadow” follows her throughout the pregnancy. Ah, my heart wrenched reading that part. Montgomery had three sons, one of whom was stillborn, which makes the story even sadder.

Anne of Ingleside. This is kind of a strange book. I think it is because this was written in 1939, so far after the original series, and even after Rilla of Ingleside, which chronologically comes after Anne of Ingleside. It deals mostly with Anne’s children and their adventures, but it also has some very adult themes as well, like marital issues and problems with in-laws. Gilbert’s aunt, for example, comes to stay for a week and ends up staying almost a year, wreaking havoc on the household, but Gilbert will not tell her to leave. Finally she leaves on her own volition when Anne throws a surprise birthday party for her – she is appalled that everyone knows her advanced age, WHICH IS 55. Welp. There is also a storyline about Anne thinking Gilbert is falling in love with his old flame, but it’s all a miscommunication. Anne thinks the spark is gone, and laments how they take each other for granted and her own aging looks and exhaustion from looking after many small children and DO WE ALL FEEL SEEN BY A CHILDREN’S BOOK FROM THE 1930S OR IS IT JUST ME. “Well, that was life…always change! You had to let the old go and take the new to your heart…learn to love it and then let it go in turn.” Wise words, Anne. She gets the Landslide.

Invincible Summer. Someone recommended this book – who was it? I liked it – didn’t LOVE it, but liked it a lot. It follows four friends after university graduation through the ups and downs of adult life, going from that starry idealism and invincibility of youth to the times where the shit hits the fan. I found this particularly interesting to read as the characters graduate the same year I finished my undergrad, so all of the events were relevant to my own life. A satisfying read, to be sure.

THANK YOU to everyone who asked me questions last week – the answers are coming up soon! In the meantime, let’s enjoy the rest of the summer, and I hope the sun is shining where you are. If it’s not, shine like a candlestick, my friends. xo

Friday the 13th Fun: Ask Me Anything, and Five For Friday

Posted on by

It has been SO LONG since I’ve spontaneously written a post, and on a Friday to boot! Since the pandemic, I have had very limited blocks of time and physical space in which to write, and it’s all I can do to write weekly recaps and monthly Favourite Things. Do not get me wrong, dear readers, I am here to entertain, but my blog is primarily a journal of my life, and at some point when this pandemic is no longer at the disco, I will want to look back at the weekly recaps to see where we were at during different time periods.

However! The stars have aligned and I have some time and space to write, so write I shall.

Ask Me Anything

I was inspired by my friend Suz (HI SUZ) to open up this space a little by asking you to Ask Me Anything. Ask me a question and the answer will be the subject of an upcoming blog! IS there anything you don’t know and want to know? I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I’m not too shy with details, so hopefully there is a stone or two left unturned.

Five For Friday

I was also inspired by Stephany (HI STEPHANY) to write a “Five For Friday” post. Fun fact: both Stephany and Suz live in Florida, which is about as far away from me as one can get before leaving the continent. Don’t you just love the virtual world, how we can be essentially pen pals with people from all over?

1) It looks like I will be teaching four yoga classes a week, in person, starting in September. I am very mixed about it, given the current “fourth wave” of Covid cases, but also I cannot bear the thought of teaching online anymore. I know several friends who have thrived as online yoga teachers, but I frankly find it stressful and exhausting, especially for my seniors. My very favourite thing about teaching yoga is seeing my students and having that connection with them (cue The Bachelor music) and so teaching online has been very difficult emotionally for me. And yet, with Covid cases surging once again, well…I feel like I am at a crossroads, to be honest. We shall see how it goes. If I’ve learned anything over the past *checks blog* seventy-three weeks, it’s that nothing is forever and changes can always be made and I am much more adaptable than I think I am.

2) I have discovered that I am an Extroverted Introvert. I desperately need time by myself to recharge; hence my early morning rising, my affinity for solo exercise, and all the time I spend reading, but at the same time, I love people. I love being around people, and on that note, we are having dinner guests this weekend for the first time since February 2020. I’m excited, not only to see this lovely couple, but also because two of the dishes I’m making feature vegetables from my garden; specifically kale and zucchini. You guys, I have so much zucchini. I think zucchini is the most satisfying thing to grow, other than leaf lettuce, as it is so prolific.

3) Every day I feel gratitude to the universe that I do not have a nut allergy. Nuts comprise a huge part of my diet, but I am starting to move away from almond milk. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still eating almonds and almond butter, but I feel like my past consumption of almond milk is somewhat environmentally disastrous. I’ve started using macadamia nut milk in my smoothies – is it better than almond? I hope so. – and you guys, it is revolutionary. It’s so rich and creamy, with a really delicious flavour, and it has the same amount of calcium as almond milk, which is what attracted me to almond milk in the first place.

4) Speaking of calcium, I have been reading a lot about osteoporosis and menopause, and the importance of a strength routine for healthy bone density. To that end, my sons created an upper body strength routine for me and good lord, do I hate it. I mean, I’m DOING it, and maybe I’ll grow to like it, but I find strength training so very boring. I listen to upbeat music while “lifting” (can you call it “lifting” if you use five pound weights?) and that helps somewhat. It feels like a chore; any suggestions to make strength training more interesting, I’m all ears.

Meep meep! I’m a big weight!

5) My aunt sent me some royal family memorabilia, and I’m thrilled. After some thought and a poll on Instagram, I have decided that I am going to USE the mugs, maybe not every day, but I’m not going to just put them in a cupboard. Can we all agree that we should use the good things, the things that make us happy, every day? I don’t want to be like one of those old ladies who keeps the furniture covered with plastic or the table covered with a wipeable tablecloth just to “save it.” Imagine going through your whole life and dying, having never drank coffee out of your Queen Elizabeth mug. That feels tragic.

Happy Friday, everyone! I’ll be enjoying this immensely beautiful weather with a few backyard cocktails today while watching my zucchini grow. Don’t forget – ask me anything! And tell me: do you use the Good Stuff? xo

Bits and Bobs; Seventy Three Weeks In

Posted on by

Bo Duke Channels Elvis

On the long drive home from vacation, I learned that John Schneider – of Dukes of Hazzard fame – had a hit song in the 70s, covering Elvis’ It’s Now or Never. Not only that, but he had a fairly successful career as a country singer AND co-founded the Children’s Miracle Network in 1983. WHO KNEW.

Does anyone else remember, in the late 80s, when Bruce Willis had a hit song under the alias Bruno, and it was a cover of Respect Yourself? I actually didn’t even know it was a cover until I recently heard the original, to be honest. And, of course, Eddie Murphy rocked the charts with his Party All The Time, and Patrick Swayze dominated our junior high slow dances with She’s Like The Wind.

The 80s were a magical time.

Put Your Records On

Not a day goes by that I don’t feel immense gratitude for Spotify. What an age we live in. Back in those magical 80s, we either had to buy whole albums, or create our own mix tapes from songs on the radio, and inevitably those radio-recorded songs had the jingle for the station or chatter from the DJ at the beginning or end. There were, of course, hit mixes available for purchase – remember those old informercials on TV that would offer six or eight albums worth of hits from different eras and genres, all for a weirdly prohibitive price? Ultimately, if you loved a song, you had to pay for it in some way: either through purchase of an album or with your time, finger poised on the “record” button of your tape recorder during the Top Ten at Ten.

Now, of course, any song is available to me at any time. Yes, I still pay for it – Spotify isn’t free, or not the version we have – but our family gets more than its money’s worth.

However, and I find this interesting, my older son is very into listening to WHOLE ALBUMS on Spotify. He listens from beginning to end and appreciates the artistic flow of the songs, and album themes. It’s very fun to discuss albums with him, like Dark Side of the Moon or The White Album.

When the boys were very small, I would listen to Kanye West’s Late Registration in the car almost constantly, so much so that one day my two-year-old said to my mom, “Grandma, I ain’t got no money so I ain’t got no ho’s,” and my one-year-old said to that same long-suffering mother of mine, “We want prenup.” After that I didn’t listen to it quite as much, at least when the kids were in the car, but the CD has been in my glove box all this time, the discovery of which by my son and his music-loving friend reinforced my status as The Cool Mom. Apparently, it is One of the Greatest Albums of All Time, and we listened to it on the long drive home from vacation.

You guys, it’s really good! Say what you will about ‘Ye, but that album is truly a creative masterpiece, with so much social commentary. You know the best medicine goes to people who paid, if Magic Johnson got a cure for AIDS, and all the broke motherfuckers pass away.

Speaking of Which

My sister-in-law discovered that her and my husband’s late grandma was a huge fan of Jackie Kennedy, as being the first Catholic First Lady. This discovery was made when my sister-in-law found stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers featuring the style icon, and let me tell you, going through them was an experience.

This one was probably my favourite, not because of Jackie but because of this:

Rock Hudson! Crazy games he plays with women! Perhaps those crazy games include not having sex with them. God, how sad. Once again I am thankful to live in the modern age where, not only can we call up John Schneider’s Greatest Hits at will, but people can be free to be themselves.

Also, you don’t tend to see matches like this anymore:

She was 19 and he was 50! Hoo boy. Although I just found out that Cary Grant retired from acting at age 62 to spend time with his first and only child. At age 62. You know, biology is cruel. Here we women are, hot flashing all over the place in our forties, considered by society to be well past our prime, and then men are fathering children literally any time in their adult lives. Not that I would want a baby at 62 – I certainly don’t want one NOW, in my forties – but still.

Calendar Girl

“Hey, the girl on the calendar looks just like you!” my husband said, looking at an Investor’s Group promotional calendar. The boys gathered around and expressed their amazement at my doppelgänger.

I mean. IS that me? Did someone from Investor’s Group photograph me in secret? In any case, this means I could have a whole career of calendar modelling ahead of me! I could be a pinup girl! Perhaps this will be my future.

Outfit of the Week

We are still having A Summer; the weather continues hot and dry. I am getting so much wear out of my skorts this year. This is just a nice, cool, comfy outfit: black skort and yoga tank, both from lululemon, plus Skechers sandals.

Also, I got my hair cut this week! Possibly I should have taken a “before” photo, but I got an inch and a half of frayed, dry, rough ends cut off.

Pandemic Reading

When You Are Engulfed In Flames. My love for David Sedaris is well documented, but what is up with the cover photo? I don’t know. Anyway, this book of essays is a great mix of laugh-out-loud anecdotes mixed with thought-provoking stories. About a third of this book is one long essay about quitting smoking and moving to, of all places, Tokyo for three months.

Songs At The River’s Edge. About twenty years ago, I read an excerpt from this book in a women’s travel anthology; the excerpt dealt with a village woman’s marriage and subsequent move to her husband’s family’s bari, or homestead. After reading that, I wanted to read the whole book but alas, it was out of print. Something made me think of it again and through the magic of the internet, I found a used copy on Amazon. It was so worth the wait! In 1987, the author, doing post-graduate work in social anthropology, lives with a family in rural Bangladesh for sixteen months. I found this incredibly fascinating. I love reading about the lives of women in other cultures, even when some of the stories are heartbreakingly sad. The main theme for women is shame; to be a woman is to be naturally mired in shame. They are essentially powerless; the marriage that first intrigued me is arranged, but the woman doesn’t find out that she is to be married until it’s almost her wedding day. Women get married and then must live with their in-laws, only returning to their own families when they are about to have babies. So the women are powerless, but in some ways they are powerful, the women truly look after each other and have strong bonds which we don’t really see in our culture. The family life is so rich and intertwined, and the people live truly based on the seasons. I just loved this book and, if you are interested in Bengali culture and traditional Islamic beliefs, I recommend it to you.

The Anne Series – Part One.

Since I was pausing my library holds for vacation, I extended that pause until the 10th in order to read a few of the books on my shelves, like the ones above. I decided I was going to reread the Anne series, a childhood favourite of mine. Will I finish before my holds come in? Spoiler alert: no. I accidentally ended one of my pauses on the 3rd and a book has already come in, however, I shall press on and do my best. So far, this is what I’ve read:

Anne of Green Gables. The OG! This book details Anne’s accidental arrival at Green Gables – Marilla and Matthew wanted a boy to help with the farm work, but famously ended up with Anne. Just like my adult reread of Heidi, a few pretty grim things struck me: the families who took Anne in prior to the Cuthberts were using her just as childcare, even though she was only 11 by the time she went to Green Gables, and one of those families included an abusive alcoholic husband, the idea that you could go to an orphanage and just pick yourself out a child based on nothing, and then treating them poorly is pretty gross, and Matthew dies because of heart trouble, yes, but heart trouble brought on by the failure of the bank at which all his money is kept. Still a very lovely book with lots of gorgeous nature descriptions and life lessons, and I found that I really empathized with Marilla, which was unexpected.

Anne of Avonlea. I remember this as being my least-favourite in the series, and I can see why. Anne becomes a teacher at the Avonlea school and is quite involved with a very precocious young boy; she is instrumental in getting his widowed father back together with his first love, who never married after they quarreled 25 years prior. Lover’s quarrel, man gets married, woman pines for him forever, man becomes widowed, man comes back to Avonlea and marries woman who has been pining for him forever. Huh. Also, there is a storyline with twins that come to live at Green Gables, and it feels just like old 80s sitcoms when the cute child actors would grow up and be replaced by new cute child actors.

Anne of the Island. Oh, this is probably my favourite of all the Anne books! Anne goes to college in Nova Scotia and lives in a sweet house called Patty’s Place with three other girls and one of the girl’s aunts. It’s just such a lovely book about “coed” life, friendship, and romance. After she turns down Gilbert, she starts dating this very romantic, very handsome, very rich, very eligible bachelor, Royal Gardner. Spoiler alert: she does not love him! Spoiler alert: after Gilbert, who finishes his own BA and starts med school, gets really sick and almost dies. ANNE LOVES GILBERT AND IN THIS BOOK SHE FINALLY CAPITULATES TO HER FATE.

It’s going to be a fun week, I can feel it. Here we are heading into mid-August already; I am going to continue to Embrace the Season and soak up every minute. Have a great week! xo

Pandemic Vacation Reading List

Posted on by

In my last post I alluded to the books I read on vacation; I said I had some recommendations and also a controversial opinion. The great thing about living in the current age is, when it comes to books, there is something for everyone, and we don’t all have to like the same things!

I always like a good mix of reading; light books mixed with thought-provoking books, with different points of view and ideas. I especially like this on vacation, although my book choices tend to skew towards the “light” end, as you will see. To be honest, I read most of these books because I they finally came in at the library, after I had them on hold, but some of the books I picked up in person, and that is still a novel thing that I will be grateful for, after months of not being able to browse the shelves.

Pandemic Vacation Reading

Rebecca. I read this book as a teenager and was inspired to pick it up again after I saw my friend Anna (HI ANNA) post about it. I didn’t remember too much about it except that there was a dead wife and a mean housekeeper. It reads differently than when I was young but hooooo boy, it’s macabre and haunting. I really like it, this story of a young woman who marries a rich widower and goes to live on his fabulous estate. His late wife seems to be everywhere though…especially in his thoughts. Things aren’t always what they seem, though, and scandal lurks everywhere! This was written in 1938 and set in a wealthy English estate, which was right before those wealthy English estates were a thing of the past. There’s a very upstairs/ downstairs theme, which fans of Downton Abbey will enjoy, but also, it is DARK. I enjoyed it a lot.

The Book of Longings. Here is the controversial opinion: I was so very disappointed with this. I’m going to preface this by saying that I think historical fiction is one of the most difficult genres to get “right.” It’s hard not to put modern voices into historical fiction. I also think that the concept of this book is wonderful and interesting: it follows Jesus’ wife, who is an educated writer. Yeah. I have been looking forward to reading this for months – I have had it on hold for at least six months, I really have enjoyed other books by this author – and to be honest, it was a huge disappointment. I found it incredibly boring, and it shouldn’t have been, with that kind of interesting premise. It is SUCH a great idea, but it dragged for me, and the dialogue seemed off. Oh well. I know many, many people have just loved this book but I am not one of them.

The Stylist Takes Manhattan. When on the beach, a beach read is a must! This was just fun and fluffy. Sometimes I love a satisfyingly silly read and this was that! It is apparently number two in a series but believe me when I say you do not have to read the first one to keep up with the plot. A young British woman, who used to be a stylist for the stars but now designs window displays at Selfridge’s (I think it was Selfridge’s, it’s been a few weeks since I read it) moves to Manhattan for three months with her boyfriend. She gets a job, connects with an out-of-favour designer, there is a big misunderstanding and then everything ties up nicely. Very satisfying.

Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead. I really enjoyed this quirky debut! Gilda suffers crippling anxiety and depression, and goes to seek “free therapy.” She finds out it is at a Catholic church, but instead of getting therapy, she accidentally gets hired as a church receptionist. (One of the reasons she gets hired by the 70-year-old priest: she knows how to use the internet and email!). She’s gay and atheist, and it feels very wrong to her to be working for the church, but she gets caught up in a web of misunderstanding. Mysterious questions arise around the passing of the previous receptionist, and how she ended up being hired. This was a really good, quick read. It was a compassionate and also very witty look inside the head of a person who is suffering from anxiety.

Let Me Tell You What I Mean. I really like Joan Didion’s writing and this collection of essays is very good. I especially enjoy her early work, getting a view of the late Sixties in California. I mean, what an era! Most of the essays were from the Sixties, but there are a few from later decades as well.

First Comes Like. What’s the book equivalent of a romantic comedy? Is it just a romantic comedy? Anyway, I love a good literary rom-com, which this is: fun and fluffy, sweet, silly, and satisfying. This was particularly good because the main characters were different from our usual white rom-com ones: the story involves a Muslim woman who is a social media star for her makeup and skin care tutorials, and a Hindu television soap actor from a famous Bollywood family. Most rom-com books seem to have predominantly white characters, and so I loved the little details like how Jia matched her headscarf to her outfit, and how she doesn’t drink alcohol, and she observes her five daily prayers. I also liked references to Bollywood and Hindu culture. The other interesting thing is how the story occasionally alludes to Covid, without mentioning Covid – Jia was sick, her physician sisters were all so busy over “the past year,” one of her sisters suffers lung issues from illness. I immediately added this author’s other titles to my hold list at the library.

We Are All Perfectly Fine. Remember in the beginning of the pandemic when we all had that “let’s pull together, we can do this” attitude, and then it was just relentless and we all became fatigued? I have always wondered about how the medical community copes with relentless stress. This book is about physician burnout, not pandemic related, just generally. It’s a moving memoir by a physician with a complex family history. Here’s an interesting tidbit: the author was just about to go to London to do her PhD in literature, but ends up going to med school at McMaster instead. I mean, how does that even happen? My mind is blown. She decides on medicine as her sister is very medically complicated, after being incredibly disabled from childhood brain cancer, and she wants to add her compassion to the medical community. She does this by working in an inner-city area with very marginalized people, but ultimately burns herself out, which is what this book is about.

All in all, a satisfying vacation reading list; what is everyone else reading these days? xo

Vacation, Mostly; Seventy-One and Seventy-Two Weeks In

Posted on by

Hi!

On Saturday we returned from almost two weeks away, staying in our vacation house, spending time with family and friends. It had been almost ten months since my mother-in-law had seen her only grandchildren, so it was really lovely.

It was a pretty busy two weeks, as we are doing an extensive addition and renovation to our place, which meant that every morning we had an appointment with a tradesperson or a big reno-related errand to run. Well, I say “we” but mostly it was my husband meeting with our contractor and various tradespeople, whereas I was more the “celebrity shopper” brought in for final decisions. This was both fun and also at times incredibly tedious. One morning we spent over two hours at the tile store, choosing six different but coordinating tiles for the bathrooms, and by the end of it I felt like this:

But afternoons were spent at my SIL’s pool or the beach, and it was just wonderful. We had clear blue skies until about four days before we left, when the forest fire smoke blew in to stay.

I have not yet felt comfortable with eating in restaurants, and I am glad I followed my instincts because while we were there, there were several restaurants closed due to Covid outbreaks and, in fact, a mask mandate was re-instituted for that area. I had talked to a friend the night before the mask mandate, and expressed wonder at the maskless-ness of the area. I had gone to the grocery store a few times by that point and had been one of only a handful of people wearing masks, and that includes the grocery store staff. It was almost like there was no pandemic at all, and I felt a bit like I had landed on some other planet.

Therefore, I was kind of happy to see the new mask mandate; I felt the response to a spike in cases was appropriate and incredibly responsible and made me feel even more sad about my home province’s weird and unprecedented announcement that as of later this month, isolation will not be required for individuals testing positive for Covid. It will be “recommended,” but not required, which, what. The province has said that they are planning to treat Covid just like any other respiratory virus, which, what. Anyway, the whole idea has left me filled with fear, despair, and impotent rage.

I cannot control other’s behaviour, I cannot control the decisions of those in authority, I can only control my own behaviour and decisions, and on that note, I think I may indulge in a little retail therapy and buy a few kicky new masks. I am keeping my own mask mandate, let me tell you.

That’s enough of that depressing information, let’s get back to vacation! I do love having access to a full kitchen on vacation, even in non-pandemic-at-the-disco times, as I don’t really love eating out that much. I mean, I can’t really remember. The last time I ate inside an actual restaurant was early February 2020, and I ate lunch on a patio last August. But I think I don’t love eating out that much? Anyway, the only problem with eating all our meals at home was that I was still meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking while on vacation, which made me feel a tiny bit like this:

My husband grilled a lot of the time, which helped immensely, but of course one cannot live on grilled items alone, so when he grilled I inevitably prepared salads and side dishes, which is how it goes.

All of which is to say it was a great two weeks, and after 36 hours at home I finally feel unpacked and caught up on everything – how is there so much laundry, I did laundry almost daily on vacation – and it’s back to reality, albeit Summer Reality. My garden has been productive in my absence, although in need of weeding, and so it’s back to my super-expensive salads! I even had a tiny cherry tomato ripen, and I can tell you, that tomato was goddamn delicious.

Outfits of the Week(s)

“How many bathing suits do you HAVE, and are they all black?” my sister-in-law asked me one afternoon. The answers are “a lot” and “yes, essentially.” I like to buy bathing suits when they are on mix and match end-of-season sale, and since they get very little wear – I wear each one maybe a couple of times a year, since the boys are too old for me to take them to the pool anymore – they don’t wear out. Therefore, the outfits of the week are my three favourite bathing suits and my very favourite beach cover-up.

I have many beach coverups, but this is my number one favourite. It has pockets! It also can almost pass as regular clothing.

I bought this cute embroidered suit when one-shoulder suits were going out of style, I think I paid about $30 for both pieces. I love it so much.

This suit is one of those “cute for sitting around the pool, not great for actual swimming” suits. Those sandals are new, from the end-of-season (in July? What the what.) sale at Skechers, and they are so comfortable, they are like walking on clouds.

As my friend Sara (HI SARA) says, if you see a tree on a beach and you don’t immediately pop into tree pose, can you even call yourself a yoga teacher? I love polka dots and rarely get a chance to wear them.

All suits and the coverup are from La Vie En Rose, and if you’re in Canada I really recommend them for quality swimwear – check them out this month as they are sure to have some great sales!

Pandemic Reading, Vacation Edition

I read a ton of books on vacation, so many that I will make my reading list into a separate post. I have some great titles to recommend and one controversial opinion.

I hope you all had a brilliant end to your July – omg, it is August already – and I hope you too can enjoy some downtime! xo

Face Facts; Seventy Weeks In

Posted on by

I was hiking with the boys and, as I always do, I greeted a pair of women we passed on the path. We exchanged some pleasantries about the day and the steepness of the hike – we hiked Prairie Mountain, it is straight up and straight down, with zero gentle switchbacks – and then we carried on our way. I heard the women speaking rapidly in French behind us, like they were discussing something, and, later when we were taking a break, they went to pass us. They paused for a moment, and then one of the women approached me and said, “This is a very strange question, maybe, but are you an economist?”

I said yes, and then we looked at each other for a moment. It took a beat but then I recognized her from my time at the Economics Society, back in the Nineties; she was a prominent member at that time, and I was still a grad student. It had been twenty-five years since we had seen each other, and I expressed my astonishment not only that we should run into each other on a hiking trail on a random Monday morning in July, but also that she recognized me after all this time. She said, “Well, of course I did, you look exactly the same!”

I used to think this kind of statement, while very kind, generous, and well-meaning, is an objectively wrong one, but I think I am at a point in my life where I understand it. Objectively, I do not look exactly the same as I did in 1996, nor does anyone else. Twenty-five years of living changes a person physically, obviously. However, the essence of a person can be unchanged over that time period; after all, I recognized this woman immediately as well, and she would have been younger than I am now when I last saw her. It’s not unlike when you see a childhood group photo and you can instantly recognize your friends; no one looks the same as they did when they were a child, but their essence is still there.

My mother-in-law once said to me that she never really sees me as aging; to her, I just look like the same Nicole she’s always known, and I understand what that means. I see my friends and loved ones in the same way; maybe there are a few more lines or changes, but essentially, I just see the same people I know and love. It’s more than just physical, even if the last time I saw a person was in high school, I can still immediately see the person I knew then, shining through now. I never think Jesus, maybe some eye cream? I just think Yay, there’s my beautiful friend. All of which goes to show that we never really see ourselves as others see us, we are our own worst critics, and if we could treat ourselves the way we treat our friends, the world would be an infinitely better place.

Speaking of which. Lately I have had a disproportionately large number of friends and acquaintances on social media show their before and after photos, the before and after referring to Botox and dermal fillers. I am going to tell you this: they all, without exception, look fantastic. It’s quite incredible; they look like the same people, but smoother and fresher. They don’t look weird or fake in any way, they look like they have applied an Instagram filter, but in real life.

I try not to compare myself to others, but I found myself comparing my own face – which is, in repose, bitchy-looking at best, haggard and Crypt Keeper-like at worst – to their smooth and fresh faces. I am generally a confident person with healthy self-esteem, but I was kind of feeling bad about myself. This feeling was not unlike the one I get when I look at Instagram photos of women my age, but don’t realize that they are filtered, and I end up wondering how I got to looking like the Crypt Keeper when everyone else looks young and lovely.

It’s hard to explain the opposing forces in my brain. I am, as you all know, Pro-Aging, but I am also not made of stone, people. I took some time to do a little research and I discovered that my old dermatologist – who I went to for acne issues, hello Circle of Life – performs these sorts of procedures. I kept reading and realized that one of the contraindications to getting Botox and dermal fillers is skin that scars easily and, since I still have tiny little scars all over my legs from varicose vein stripping over a decade ago – complete with dots from where the stitches went in – I closed my browser and closed my mind to it.

It’s for the best, really. Isn’t it funny how these things work? Some of the most beautiful women I have ever met are the septuagenarian and octogenarian ladies in my seniors’ yoga class; they truly have the faces they deserve, as the saying goes, with their inner beauty shining through. And although I’d love to look more rested – my eyebags are sometimes steamer trunks – and less crinkly, well, this is the face I have and, ultimately, the face I deserve. I raise my eyebrows a lot, I smile a lot, I make that “Kermit the Frog scrunch face” a lot, and my face reflects that. I’m going to be at peace with it and also, keep up with the retinol creams. Jesus, maybe some eye cream?

Outfit of the Week

This is probably my very favourite summer outfit of all time. I feel so cute in it, it makes me want to twirl around like a ballerina, or like my seven-year-old niece. I COULD do that without fear of traumatizing anyone, as it is a skort, albeit kind of a short one. I paired it with a yoga tank because even though I now have comfortable bras, I still like a shelf-bra tank on hot days. Sandals are Skechers, naturally.

It’s not every day my accessories match my outfit this perfectly! That bracelet was made by my friend Amy (HI AMY)!

Pandemic Reading

A Thousand Ships. In my very first semester at university, I took an introduction to classical studies, and our required reading was The Iliad, The Odyssey, and a few other Greek plays. It is very telling that I have never read them since, and, in fact, I couldn’t remember anything about them. I think I blocked them out. I have extremely low interest in men’s stories: I could not care less about mighty warriors and their conquests, and I definitely don’t want to read about all the capturing, enslaving, and raping said conquests. However, I was intrigued by this book which explores the Trojan war through the eyes of the women. I did not love this book, but I did like the different point of view, and I did like to see women portrayed as something other than crazy, long-suffering, and vain.

When No One Is Watching. This book is marketed as a psychological thriller, but it doesn’t really read as one – at least for the first two-thirds of the book. It is more of an educational exploration of the practice of redlining and the dark, sad side of gentrification, with thrilling dramatic license. I liked this a lot as it is very mind-opening, and the end is thrilling and satisfying, but it’s not what I consider to be a typical thriller. Still, very much worth the read.

A Burning. Oh, this was so so good. I picked this up on the advice of Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) and it did not disappoint. It follows the story of a woman who is accused of aiding and abetting a terrorist act in India, through the points of view of three very different people, all of whom are trying to rise up in the world. It is an absolutely chilling portrait of what people will do to make their way up the ladder, so to speak. I love books that have a realistic description of different places and cultures, and this book describes India – its economics, culture, cities and villages – so well.

I hope you are all enjoying the summer; we are doing our best to make it A Summer, after the disappointments of last year. Have fun, be kind – especially to yourself. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Life-Changing Edition

Posted on by

Okay. We all know that my half-Scottish ancestry, coupled with my somewhat austere Norwegian ancestry, has made a strange consumer of me. Whereas I have more yoga clothes, black footwear, and black sweaters than you could literally shake a stick at, there are a few items that I am so reluctant to purchase that the years pass and I realize how old an item is, and then I find I am horrified with my own cheap self.

Longtime readers will remember my New Year’s Resolution of 2020, which was to buy a new bra. The last bra I bought, other than a sports or running bra, was back in – I believe – 2014. THE YEAR OF OUR LORD, TWENTY FOURTEEN. I also had, in my underwear drawer, a bra dating from 2010, from a trip to Victoria’s Secret in Palm Desert, and panties from the same trip. Suffice it to say that not only were these bras ill-fitting and uncomfortable, they were also pretty worn out. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I suddenly hit a breaking point.

Reader, I have purchased new bras.

The new bras are so life-changing that I thought I would write about ALL the recent life-changing purchases I have made, so without further adieu I give you…

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Life-Changing Edition

Knix Wear

I was gifted a couple of Knix Wear items last year, and so I was aware of their quality and general fit. Two things about this company that are truly great: a) their sizes are more general than what I would normally find in a lingerie store – a size 2 fits 36A, 34B, AND 32C, for example – and so it’s easier to figure out what size to order, and b) if that size doesn’t work, they have a 30 day wash and wear guarantee, so you can wear and wash it as much as you like for 30 days, and then return it.

I will NOT be returning the two bras I bought, because they are a revolution in bra-wearing. They are as comfortable as wearing my yoga tanks, and they add “contour,” which is something I appreciate, as a less-gifted woman.

Not that you can tell, but I’m wearing the Wing Woman Contour bra, and it is literally the most comfortable bra I have ever worn in my life, INCLUDING SPORTS BRAS.

Other Unmentionables

Buoyed by my Knix purchase, I decided to buy a new strapless bra, my current one that constantly falls down dating from…I don’t know? I think the boys were babies. IT IS TIME. I purchased one online from La Vie En Rose, thinking that if it didn’t fit I could return it to the store that is literally a five-minute drive away.

Look, Mom, no visible bra strap!

Happily, I didn’t have to return it, and because they only offer free shipping on orders over $75, I threw all caution to the wind and bought a bunch of panties. Is there anything more transformative to one’s life than new panties? Maybe a new lipstick. I spent a few moments cleaning out my underwear drawer and realized that I have kept the little inserts that go into yoga tanks, for reasons unknown, for years. I wonder if anyone in my Buy Nothing group will want them. What do you do with all these inserts?

Important note, for those of you wanting your own strapless bra: the key to one that won’t fall down is to size DOWN in the band and size UP in the cup.

Sweet Dreams

Earlier in the year, I bought a couple of soft sleep bras, as I am a strangely rigid person who doesn’t like to, um, flop while I sleep. My last sleep bra was bought – wait for it – when I was PREGNANT WITH MY OLDER SON, BACK IN 2003. At the time, due to pregnancy, I was in a triple-D bra size, so between the sizing and the age of the item, you can imagine the fit was sub-standard. I mean, I am pretty far from a triple-D these days.

Anyway, my new sleep bras were a revelation unto themselves, so soft and comfortable. And they fit my much-deflated bosom! What a concept. While I was at it, I also bought this cute tank top, which summarizes my life up quite well:

Whoaaaaa, Listen to the Music

My husband gave me Air Pods (I am constantly mispronouncing them as Ear Pods) for my birthday and they have CHANGED MY LIFE. He gave them to me because, as he said, I knew you would never buy them yourself and I thought you’d really like them. Ah, marriage.

But he’s right, I DO love them. It took me a little while to figure out the “double-tap left to pause, double-tap right to skip” feature, but I wear them while running, walking the dog, and even doing something that I never thought I’d do: LISTENING TO PODCASTS.

He even got me my own personalized case so that I don’t accidentally take my son’s, or vice versa.

You Can Leave Your Hat On

I have resisted wearing a hat while running for…ever, I guess. However, since I run in the early mornings, the sun is always at an angle and I am either being blinded from it, or completely in the dark when running in shaded parts on the path. I hate regular hats wherein I have to wrangle my ponytail JUST SO to fit, and so I bought this running visor from lululemon, and it’s a game changer.

I admit I had to get over the hurdle of feeling like a Lady Who Golfs/ My Own Mother, but it’s practical, it works, it’s Life Changing, it belongs in this post.

Spinning With Myself

It has been a whole year since our Peloton arrived and my life changed forever. Before the pandemic, I would have never, ever considered a virtual spin class, but here we are. I can never go back to regular spin classes; I can’t, I won’t. For one thing, it is a way more efficient way to get cardio. A one-hour spin class at the fitness club really takes two hours, what with the commute and parking and the locker room and getting there early to get a good bike. Plus, you know, the plague.

Contrast this with the ease of just walking to my basement, choosing a ride based on the excellent roster of instructors and their playlists, and, to be honest, getting a better workout in 30 minutes than in the hours I spent at the club.

I finished 300 rides last weekend! In addition to the cycle program, Peloton offers programs for strength training, stretching, running, barre, Pilates, meditation, and more. The monthly fee covers our entire family and is much, much less than the monthly fee for the fitness club.

For anyone interested, my username is NicoleBoyhouse, and my favourite instructors are Leanne, Alex, Ally, and Kendall, with Becs as my favourite strength trainer.

A Different Kind of Spinning

With my lettuce and kale going crazy in the garden, a salad spinner is a must; that is, if I don’t want soggy salads. We had a salad spinner that I think was purchased back in 1999 and it did not work well. Or really, at all. It hasn’t worked for years, honestly, but it didn’t really matter since most of my lettuce purchases are either Romaine hearts or those clamshells of mixed greens, both of which I find can be easily rinsed off and patted dry.

But fresh-from-the-garden lettuce requires a lot more washing, even if my garden dirt is organic, I don’t really want to eat it. One frustrating use of my cheap, broken salad spinner and I was off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for a new one. Who knew that for $20 my whole salad life would change?

I have yet to be disappointed by anything from Cuisinart. They make great products, and this salad spinner is no exception.

Who’s Your (Scrub) Daddy?

What is it about Bed, Bath, and Beyond that makes me feel like my life is incomplete and that I need to buy useless things as a ticket to happiness? I don’t know. It’s a good thing I don’t go there often because it makes me want to Consume.

However, Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) had mentioned Scrub Daddies, and I had admired their cute smiley faces before, and so while buying a salad spinner I decided to pick one up. I loved it so much that I went back to get a second one and a pack of “Scour Daddies” for the bathroom tiles.

While I was at it, I bought a pack of microfibre cleaning cloths, and who knew that such items would work better than the seventeen-year-old flannelette receiving blankets with puppies on them, or ripped up old towels dating from before I got married that I have been using? My housecleaning rituals have been taken up a notch, I can tell you.

These are the things that have CHANGED MY LIFE, I have literally a whole new life now. What things have changed yours? What are you loving these days? xo