Category Archives: Food

FEEL THE ENERGY

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Every month, I realize anew that my complete lack of energy for a week, followed by super-strength-energizer-bunny energy is actually related to my, how shall I put this, lady cycles.  And yet every month I find myself wondering what is wrong with me, and why am I so tired?  Last week everything was a massive effort: yoga was slow going, walking the dog was exhausting, making the beds was the wooooooorst.  I could barely heat up pasta sauce and boil noodles without collapsing on the kitchen floor; then yesterday I woke up with the “I’m going to clean the house!” feeling, and found myself scrubbing that same kitchen floor, moving all the appliances and polishing the granite, and washing down all the cupboards with a homemade solution of hot water, vinegar, and dish soap.  Later I grocery shopped, played Just Dance with the boys – earning myself four stars on A-Ha’s Take On Me, just saying – created a recipe for and made tomato coconut soup, and took the dog on a brisk, long walk.  Anyone want some waffles?  Guys?  Waffles?  I enjoy these energy bursts but a little less variance would be nice.

It was a lovely weekend, complete with my husband’s office Christmas party on Friday and a potluck party on Saturday, where I developed an obsession with eggplant, specifically with vegan eggplant rollatini.  My friend gave me his recipe and now I’m going to attempt to recreate it.  Maybe I’ll make it for Christmas Eve dinner, so I can have something to eat while my husband and children eat steak.  Christmas Eve we spend at home, traditionally watching Elf and moving Jake’s bed into Mark’s room so they can have a “sleepover”.  Lately I’ve been thinking that we should have a Christmas Eve food tradition.  On Christmas Day we go to my parents, where my mom makes a turkey and I gorge on variations of yam and sweet potato dishes and chocolate Yule log – the best dessert ever – but Christmas Eve…well, Marilyn said it best.  We asked the boys what they wanted for a special Christmas Eve dinner and they unanimously requested barbecued steak.  In December.  But my husband agreed to suck it up, bundle up and barbecue, so I think having a vegan eggplant rollatini for myself and for anyone else who might try it (i.e., no one) might be just the ticket.  Festive meals in the Boyhouse – steak and eggplant.

The other day I was listening happily to my 70s soft-pop station and singing along.  I was making dinner at the time and had my hands full, so when Baby Ima Want You came on, I called into the living room to get one of the boys to turn it up.  “I love this song!” I said.  “I DON’T.” Jake said emphatically.  “This is a VEGETARIAN SONG.  Meat-eaters like songs that are more rocking.”  Out of the mouths of babes, I say.  Not that I don’t enjoy some good rocking tunes myself, but it seems he is onto something.  We have been classifying music as vegetarian and carnivore ever since.   

I am feeling very festive today: it’s less than a month until Christmas, and last night we turned on our outdoor lights, the excitement hangover of which has caused me to hum Christmas songs all morning.  Have yourself a merry little Christmas, I sang while blow-drying my hair this morning, and when I turned off the dryer I discovered the boys were also singing Christmas songs, but the kind where they were celebrating the snow turning red from dead Santa, along with Batman being stinky and Robin laying eggs.  We have also been celebrating the return of the fireplace channel on TV.  Nothing says festive excitement like watching the crackling logs of the fireplace channel, interspersed with the thrill of seeing the plaid-shirted guy put another log on, or poke the fire.  Squee!  At least once a night, at least one of the boys makes a comment about Santa coming down chimneys and becoming consumed by the fires therein.  


Speaking of being burned, I was putting something into the oven and I accidentally touched the upper rack and burned the back of my hand.  Then, two days later, I did the exact same thing in the exact same place.  This tiny burn hurts so much it is making me extraordinarily sympathetic to actual burn victims.  The thoughts in my head go something like this: wahhh, my hand hurts so much!  Shut up, you baby.  Think about people who have burns all over their bodies!  Think of that!  But my hand hurts!  Wah!

Give Mom the Rockets and No One Gets Hurt

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Happy Monday/ Full Moon Day, everyone!  We are just coming off the high of a long weekend – it was a PD day on Friday, which was joyfully spent painting clay creations and playing video games with friends.  Thursday night was the much-anticipated Halloween Dance and it was everything everyone had ever dreamed of, and more.

Good times!  And, as promised, my non-slutty costume:

Arrrrrr!

The weekend was also spent carving pumpkins, which means that my kids make the designs for the faces, my husband does the actual carving, and I spend a great deal of time separating the pumpkin seeds from the gross, gross pumpkin goo.  I am, apparently, the only person who actually wants to eat the pumpkin seeds, and so I end up with orange stained, burning hands and pumpkin in my hair.

 
Can you spot the pumpkin in my hair?
 
The finished products were adorable, in my own view.
 
 
Is it strange to feel that Halloween is already over?  I keep reminding myself that it’s not actually Halloween until WEDNESDAY.  Maybe it’s because I’m in denial – it is supposed to be a daily high of ONE DEGREE on Wednesday, not that I’m the one who takes the kids trick-or-treating, but still.  I will probably sit with the giant bowl of candy, waiting for the non-existent trick-or-treaters to ring my doorbell.  As usual I have purchased a very large amount of candy, and mark my words, it will be a miracle if we have more than five trick-or-treaters.  Which means that not only will we have leftover candy to last us until the apocalypse, but the kids will receive enormous amounts from our neighbours who have similarly over-purchased candy.  It’s a Halloween tradition in the old-people neighbourhood that I live in!
 
Speaking of candy, I have a bit of a culture-shock thing going with our neighbours to the south.  In the United States, Smarties are – get this – NOT CANDY COATED CHOCOLATE.  American Smarties are, apparently, what is known in Canada as Rockets.  These seem to be universally despised as a treat, but for me, they are the first item I pilfer from my kids’ bags.  Rockets are like crack cocaine to me.  Sugary crack cocaine.  As well, Coffee Crisp does not exist in the States, which gave me a shock, like when I discovered that ketchup chips are not widely available there.
 
So here is my question of the day: what is your favourite Halloween treat, or if you are a parent, what is the first thing you steal from your kids’ stash?

Domination by cookie baking

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The Boyhouse is vibrating with excitement today.  It’s the Halloween Family Dance and I am just going to say that I feel badly for the teachers today.  They are going to be dealing with some bouncy kids.  Also, my own kids snuck cookies before school this morning, so they may be riding the sugar train.

I spent a large portion of the day yesterday making these cookies for the bake sale.  In my world, first you make the cookies, then you get the power.  WORLD DOMINATION VIA THE HALLOWEEN DANCE BAKE SALE.  That’s my motto.

Mark informed his classmates that his mother was bringing the best cookies ever to the bake sale, and so I had to comply.  What else to do?  Can’t disappoint a class full of third graders.  He also told me that he is planning to bring some allowance to the dance; he wants to buy one of my friend’s cupcakes (that feature gummy candy!) and also he wants to buy one of my ghost cookies.  Puzzled, I told him that he didn’t have to buy one; I made extras for us to have at home.  He feels, however, that an example needs to be set.  A cookie buying example, I guess.

I am going to be starting to do book reviews on this blog, which I thought would be very fun.  However, the first book that I am going to review is a Chicken Soup for the Soul book about, of all things, hockey.  Why I agreed to review this book is honestly beyond me.  I mean, I’ve never in my life read one of those Chicken Soup books, not to mention I don’t even like hockey.  However.  Look for a review of this book soon.  As soon as I finish slogging through it.  Hockey.  What was I thinking?

In other news, a friend sent me a bunch of old advertisements from years gone by, and they are truly amusing.  Some of them are the “Doctors Who Smoke Prefer Camels!” type of advertising, which makes me think of Mad Men, and makes me long for the days before I had watched all the episodes, when I still had something television-wise to look forward to.  This advertisement really made me laugh:

Oh, hahaha double entrendre!  I think that’s pretty bad advice, actually.  Attention menfolk: most women would NOT be at all thrilled if you blew in their faces, smoke or otherwise.  Gross!  Two things about this advertisement: I wish I had that woman’s eyelashes (do you think they are fake?  They must be), and the guy looks disturbingly like my younger brother.  I mean, the resemblance is uncanny.  Except my brother often has a giant pornstache or beard or porkchop-like sideburns, but if he was clean shaven he would look JUST LIKE THIS GUY.  Which is weird on just so many levels, I can’t even.

Anyway!  Time to sign off, dear readers, I have much to do before the big event tonight.  For one thing, I FINALLY have a hair appointment, so I can kiss my inch-and-a-half grey roots goodbye.  Also, I need to prepare for an early dinner, fold a pile of laundry, and drop off the cookies at the school or my world/bake sale domination plan will be ruined.  Pictures of everyone’s costume – including my own non-slutty one – to follow.  Stay tuned! xoxo

Nicole’s Favourite Things; Fall Edition

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I am very cross right now for a variety of reasons, amongst them a) my dog is sick with kennel cough, which he got FROM his kennel cough vaccination, and now I am faced with a new life as someone who does not want to vaccinate her dog, b) I have had to check the yard constantly “in case” Barkley develops diarrhea, and it is gross to be constantly checking dog poop, c) there are UNSOLVABLE issues with the upcoming book fair due to the fact that the school’s Remembrance Day holiday is not the same as the one that Scholastic (and, apparently, the rest of the world) is observing, d) the unsolvable issue was brought to my attention only AFTER I had sent out a cheery “would you like to volunteer?” email about it, e) I had a very awkward conversation with the developmentally slow grocery carryout guy today about suicide, which is NOT a conversation I wish to have in the three minutes it takes to put my groceries in the car, and f) it is not slated to be above zero degrees Celcius any day this week.  I AM COLD. 

I know, I know, there are bigger problems in the world.  Wah, wah, wah, and my diamond ring is too heavy for my hand, my bed of money had a lump in it, and I am just TOO beautiful. 

Still, I am in a crabby kind of mood, so I’m going to turn things around by saying WWOD (What Would Oprah Do?). 

Welcome to Nicole’s Favourite Things, the Fall Edition!


This sweater and those boots.  When fall (or, as we say in YYC, the start of the unending winter) arrives with its crisp chill, it’s a sign for me to break out the black sweaters!  This one is my new favourite.  I got it on the “We Made Too Much” clearance section from Lululemon, and it’s warm, long, and wraps around in a snuggly way.  These boots I got for half price during the Boxing Week sales from a place that I cannot recall.  Longtime readers will remember these as the “Puss in Boots” ones.  It’s a bargain of an outfit!  I think I even bought the jeans on sale.  Thriftiness in the Boyhouse!  Relatively speaking.

Those are beehives in the background.  Related: my neighbour keeps bees in her backyard and she always gives me some of her very excellent honey, to say thank you for my flowers.  Hey, it’s a two-way street; her bees make my flowers awesome, and so Taryn’s honey is on my favourite things list!


That’s her photo, by the way.  Did I mention I love this girl? 

I bought this set of three dishtowels (I know, DISHTOWELS are on my favourite things list) and they make me smile whenever I look at them, which is often, since I spend half my life in the kitchen.  They say “They Fell In Love”, “They Got Married”, and “They Lived Happily Ever After.”  Aw.  They were probably meant for a wedding shower gift, but I bought them for myself and no regrets.  Happily ever after.  I always smile when I look at that, and imagine myself in a fairy-tale like existence, and think I AM living happily ever after!  Then I go look for dog diarrhea and the mood dissipates somewhat.


Calgary is very dry year-round, but especially so in fall and winter.  I go through a lot of lotion and hand cream, and the scents from Bath and Body Works are enough to turn you into one of those creepy “Smell My Finger” guys.  But in a good way.  Twilight Woods, Cherry Blossom, and, separate from regular Cherry Blossom, JAPANESE Cherry Blossom are my current favourite scents.

That reminds me, I have been meaning to post pictures of my renovated bathroom.  Next time, okay?

My mother-in-law is a mad knitter, and she knitted me this scarf that I think is fabulous.

Fluffy, cute, and goes perfectly with a black sweater!

It was my husband’s birthday this weekend, and I made him a reduced-sugar apple crisp for his birthday, in keeping with his low-sugar dietary restrictions.  We’re such a fun couple.  Want to invite us over for dessert?  He can’t have sugar, I can’t have dairy.  Game on!  Anyway, I made him an apple crisp, although I think that cooked fruit is, quite frankly, a waste of fruit.  One of my favourite fall things is fresh, farmer’s market McIntosh apples! 


I keep our surplus apples in the crawl space.  Right next to the hall paint, apparently. 

Another thing I love about fall: pumpkins!

Those giant pumpkins were on sale for $0.19/pound.  Apparently procrastination pays off.  I am going to be roasting a lot of pumpkin seeds this weekend!

I also love making chocolate chip pumpkin loaf, and butternut squash bisque.  Lately I’ve been making that soup with coconut milk and coconut oil instead of whipping cream and butter, and it is pretty fabulous. 

So those are my favourite things about fall.  What are yours? xoxo

In which I reveal myself as a snob and a lunatic, all at the same time

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I had the most productive weekend!  Shit got DONE around here.  I had a number of things on my to-do list and every one of them was accomplished, even down to the “putting photos in albums” task.  For reasons that I do not comprehend, I find putting photos in albums to be one of the worst tasks, even worse than cleaning the toilet or shovelling the sidewalk.  Our snow is melted, I should add; shovelling the sidewalk is just an example.  In the case of the photo-geddon, I had put off developing pictures for thirteen months; I had photos from Jake’s seventh AND sixth birthdays.  I had upwards of 500 pictures to put in albums, and by the time the weekend rolled around, I was down to about the last 200.  I did get them all in their albums, and I felt a strong sense of accomplishment until my friend Nan asked why didn’t I just make photo books, which would be faster and easier.  Um, because such a radical idea never occurred to me?  Because I must spend hours of my time cropping, developing, sorting, and putting photos into albums in some kind of masochistic plan to suck the joy out of life?

Probably because of the chill in the air, I have been craving soup like nobody’s business.  I wanted to make my favourite butternut squash soup, but with coconut milk instead of whipping cream, but when I went to the grocery store they were all out of butternut squash.  It was puzzling; was there a sudden rush on butternut squash?  Maybe all the seniors in the neighbourhood were hoarding them?  In any case, I decided mushroom soup was the way to go, but never having made it before, I nervously opted for winging it.  I had some fresh mushrooms and some dried mushrooms, and someone had told me that reconstituting the dried mushrooms in white wine made for a lovely mushroom soup addition.  The only problem with that is that I rarely have white wine in the house; I’m staunchly a red wine type of girl.  So, off to the liquor store for this very important ingredient. 

Now, normally I’m a Superstore liquor store kind of girl, and normally I just buy a case of my favourite red and stash it in the crawl space.  I don’t shop around at the liquor store.  The last time I shopped around at the liquor store I found myself singing a duet with a perfect stranger.  A duet of Baby, It’s Cold Outside with strange gentleman in his sixties.  With a cart containing a case of wine, a twenty sixer of rum, and the biggest bottle of Bailey’s available.  This is what comes of shopping around. 

In any event, I was loathe to browse the liquor store shelves in the event that I should burst into song again, although Christmas music isn’t high on my list right now, I wanted to avoid singing “Islands In The Stream” or some such duet with any of the other shoppers, and so my goal was to go into the store, grab a bottle of Gewurztraminer or Riesling – the only drinkable whites in my opinion – and get out.  However, it took a lot of searching to find either of those.  Pinot Grigios and Chardonnays abounded, and so many bottles labelled merely with “White Wine”.  While I do not like to think of myself as a snob, I really had trouble purchasing those, even the ones labelled “Mad Housewife” or “Middle Sister”.  Even though I am both of those.  (Technically, I am a middle child, since I have brothers on either side.  Still.)  I almost got sidetracked by a bottle of “Chocolate Cake Liqueur” which kind of smells a little four horses of the apocalypse to me, and then I almost got sidetracked by some giant bottle of alcohol labelled “Kinky”.  I wish I had bought that.  Finally I found some Quail’s Gate Gewurztraminer AND Riesling.

And I also found, on sale, a bottle of Cupcake wine.  JUST SAY IT, I know you’re thinking it.  I fell for cupcake marketing.  You just can see the winery owners, stroking their goatees, “Well, if we call it CUPCAKE you just know women everywhere will fall for it!  Bwahahaha!”  It’s true.  Women will always purchase things that are in any kind of cupcake motif.  Men certainly will not; not even the most flamboyant man is walking out of the store with a wine labelled “Cupcake.”  In my defence I had tried this wine before and it makes a very nice companion on a Friday night.  Also it is a Shiraz which is my boyfriend.  MY WINEY BOYFRIEND. 

I walked up to the counter with both wines, and the very young man at the counter asked me if I wanted a bag.  “No,” I said absently, “I’ll just double-fist them back to the car.”  Did I say that out loud?  Yes I did.  So I walked back to the car holding my naked wines like an alcoholic mess who JUST wanted to make mushroom soup, dammit, leaving in my wake the two young men at the counter who were probably shaking their heads at having to work in an area with so many lame people.



No, honey, I will not murder you when you cease to be a fast driver.

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Happy Thanksgiving, all my Canadian friends.  Although I’ve always thought that Thanksgiving is among the lamer of the holidays, given that I have never been interested in pie, turkey, or any of the usual turkey-trimmings-pie-fanfare.  And yet, it’s always a good idea to be thankful for what one has.  Right now I’m mostly thankful that I’m not in the car anymore.

We drove out to my in-laws’ house for the holiday, and came back today.  It’s a long drive, and I spent most of it staring out the window, listening to Jedi commentary and Star Wars trivia, queries about how much longer the drive would be, childrens’ voices singing along to vastly inappropriate popular music – “I’ve had a shit day!  You’ve had a shit day!” – and a startling amount of swearing at other drivers on the road, notably those who were driving RV’s, pulling trailers, elderly, and/or driving slow on undivided stretches of highway and speeding up whilst in the passing lanes, making it difficult to pass.  “If I ever get old and start driving like these assholes,” my husband said as he passed an elderly man driving an RV, “Just put a fucking bullet in my brain.”  Sorry babe.  I am never going to put a bullet in your brain.  Possibly you need someone else to carry out that living will of yours, mmm-kay?

I am also thankful for the three Macintosh apples I JUST ate in rapid succession.  One of the best things about visiting the in-laws in October is the fresh produce.  A friend of mine tried to convince me that yes, I could eat a varied diet as a locavore, but I say one hundred miles is not enough.  Fuck the 100-mile diet I say!  And those apples made the drive worthwhile, as well as the twenty pounds of Concord grapes my mother-in-law sent me home with. 

Another thing to be thankful for: it will be another year until we do our family pictures, so I won’t have to put up with the usual family-picture angst from the children about how the clothes I have chosen for them make them look like dorks.  Honestly.  It’s not like I was dressing them up in bow ties or that we were all wearing matching clothes.  My bar is pretty low: I want them in jeans with intact knees, and clean shirts that are not emblazoned with Angry Birds, Lego Star Wars, or similar.  And yet the drama that follows is worthy of an after-school special about a mean mommy who deep down really does love her children.  I have yet to upload the photos, but have a good mind to get our Christmas cards printed with ones that have a good photo of me and husband, while children block out their own faces by pretending to use the force and/or are making faces like Scooby Doo when faced with a large sandwich.  I’m sure I will have lots to choose from.  Merry Christmas!  We don’t know what happened to the children.

Here’s something neat to be thankful for – a yoga friend of mine, who also happens to be a mad talented at making videos, made this video from filming a typical morning practice at the studio.  It’s pretty amazing, I think, and if you’ve ever wondered what Mysore-style Ashtanga is like, well, here it is!  Take a look, you won’t be disappointed.  Fun fact: I am wearing the world’s brightest pink pants. 

Since getting home three hours ago, I’ve baked banana loaf, unpacked everything (well, my husband helped – is he trying to get lucky?  If so, it’s totally working.  Usually I unpack everything alone.), made and ate dinner along with my three apples, cleaned up, and have written this post!  Not bad!  I’m thankful for Wifi, my own foresight in stocking the fridge with long-lifed items before I left, and for my husband, who I will definitely not shoot in the head, if only to show my gratitude for his help in unpacking the luggage.

Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Canadians, and for my dear American readers – happy Columbus Day!  Is that a holiday? 

Cupcakes, shopping, and Junior Mints

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I am pleased to report the happy news that there have been zero barfing incidents since the first day of school.  Although, writing that, I just broke out into a cold sweat thinking that I just jinxed everything and now my children will be up all night barfing.  Cue the Stevie Wonder riffs.

I really, really hope this doesn’t come to pass, and not just for the obvious reasons: tomorrow is Jake’s birthday party!  After the insanity of Mark’s last birthday party, I privately vowed to never host another birthday party as long as I live, but Jake very sweetly only wanted to invite five of his neighbourhood friends – whose mothers I am all friends with – to go play at the playground and then eat cupcakes.  I felt I could really get behind that idea!  And so that is exactly what we are going to do, and the weather is going to cooperate as well, it seems.  At this very moment I have cupcakes in the oven – these cupcakes, if you’re interested – with the promise of making extra peppermint frosting just for the birthday boy.  I’m also wearing my brand new apron:

Isn’t it adorable?  It has cupcakes on it and I’m MAKING CUPCAKES!  I’m going to feature it in an upcoming “Nicole’s Favourite Things” post, but strangely, like kale chips and 70s soft rock, I am the only one in my house who does not revile this sweet apron.  What is wrong with everyone I live with?  I put it on last night to show the kids, who stared at me, making “Uhhhhhhh” noises until Mark said “Mom?  It’s kind of lame.”  I showed my husband, who wasn’t shy about sharing his unfavourable opinion.  But what does he know?  He also said “I thought when you said you had a new apron, it was, you know, the kind that is black and lacy…”  It’s not a French maid outfit, husband.  I’m using it for actual baking, not “baking”.

That was the strangest euphemism for sex ever, no?

Anyway, so cupcakes are on the to-do list today, as well as putting together loot bags.  I went out yesterday specifically to buy loot bag treats, a replacement shirt for the one that was barfed on, and shoes for Mark.  I’m kicking myself a little because – I don’t mean to brag, here, people – I am the most organized person I know.  Yet I fell down on this one.  I bought indoor school shoes for the boys weeks ago, but since they were in sandals all summer, I failed to notice that Mark’s regular outdoor runners were a size too small until the first day of school.  ORGANIZATIONAL FAILURE.  He could barely walk in them, poor giant-flippered child.  So I thought I would just pick up a pair while running all my other errands.

And let me tell you, by the end of the day I was so frustrated and crabby that I was ready to burn the whole mall down.  I went to every single store that sold shoes and I purchased the only pair of boys’ runners in Mark’s size.  THE ONLY PAIR.  I have written many times about my frustration over the lack of selection for boys’ wear, but that really took the cake.  I ended up paying an exhorbitant price for a simple pair of running shoes which will likely be outgrown in six months, although thankfully they can be passed down to Jake as well.  BUT STILL.  Then I attempted to find party favours that were not embossed with Tinkerbell or Barbie, but again, this was futile.  I ended up going to the dollar store where I found not only Star Wars-themed Pez dispensers, but also Angry Birds-themed napkins and bags, and gigantic packages of candy, including Junior Mints!  I hope I don’t eat all the Junior Mints before I get them into the loot bags.  Who doesn’t like a Junior Mint?  They are so refreshing!

So the first week back at school has been full of excitement, hasn’t it?  There are a few other things going on around here that are amping things up a little, such as an in-law visit and preparing for the first school council meeting.  Suffice it to say I’m looking forward to my Friday night cocktails/wine/any alcohol at all.  How early is too early for a drink, really?