No News Is Good News; Ninety-Five Weeks In

It occurred to me this week that a lot of parallels can be drawn between pandemic mitigation strategies and sex ed. Just as the only Absolutely Certain 100% way to avoid pregnancy and STI is Complete Abstinence, so the only Absolutely Certain 100% way to avoid Covid infection is to remain Completely Isolated. However, here we are, ninety-five weeks in, and I think we can all agree that, being social creatures Complete Isolation is not ideal, just like Complete Abstinence is not something that is a practical or viable option for our young people. Or ourselves, really, but being nearly 47 and in a monogamous relationship for twenty-four years is a whole different kettle of fish, from an STI and pregnancy standpoint.

So, just like condoms and the pill prevent pregnancy and STI, not all the time but most, we look to masks and vaccines, which, together, work not all the time but most. I am not going to even get into the men who go condom-less or the people who have completely unprotected sex with several people in the course of a weekend, and I’m certainly not going to get into the people who are anti-mask-and-vaccine and who want life to be the way it was in 2019, crowds and all. The analogy starts to fall apart here, because ideally we choose our sexual partners, and we cannot always choose the people who surround us in every day life.

As an example to what things are like here, I was grocery shopping and a woman was there, in the frozen food aisle, with no mask on, not even on her chin, not below her nose, just no mask at all. We have had, for many months, an indoor mask mandate which is followed by basically everyone, and so it was Very Notable and Kind of Shocking. I had to remind myself not to judge, maybe there was some mitigating circumstance, literally the only thing I knew about this woman is that she did not have a mask on, but it was so very strange and unusual. Everyone in the frozen food aisle was giving this woman large berth, swooping their giant carts around her and, if they were like me, holding their breath. I am, therefore, grateful that such a thing is strange enough to be remarkable, and also, I am sure I will look back at these days when we think Everyone Is A Potential Disease Vector with sadness.

Also remarkable and momentous: today the kids are going back to school in person. I cannot even begin to describe the deep sense of relief I felt when I got the notification from the school board informing me of this. The schools have had a mask mandate since fall of 2020, but now every student will be given an eight-week supply of medical grade masks. Each student will be given rapid test kits as well, and will be expected to use them regularly until this wave has subsided. This is great news because rapid test kits are currently completely unavailable, and all testing centres are so overwhelmed that no one can get a PCR test unless they are involved in a current recorded outbreak or are in a high-risk category or line of work.

There is still risk to having in-person school – there are no ideal options here, people – but I feel the risk mitigation strategies are sufficient and the risks are outweighed massively by the benefits to having kids being around their peers. Online school was difficult in so many different ways and while I am grateful the kids had SOMETHING during that time, I think the vast amounts of screen time and isolation from other kids was detrimental to their mental and physical health.

A friend of mine said that I sounded fatalist the other day, because I said that I wasn’t going to spend my time and energy worrying about whether or not we contract Covid; we are doing as much as we can – vaccines, masks, distancing, limiting contact with people – and that will have to be good enough. I know so many people right now who have contracted Covid, even with Doing All The Right Things, and if I also Do All The Right Things and one still slips past the goalie, well. I have reached the point where I cannot spend any more time being anxious about it. We have to live our lives, not in a crazy reckless way but with caution, with mitigation strategies, and with hope, I guess. I am doing my best, my family is doing their best, and I cannot control what anyone else is doing. My best has to be good enough.

All of which brings me to one of my Quantifiable Goals; I mentioned last week that I do not exactly have New Year’s Goals or Resolutions, instead I add goals or concepts to my life as I go throughout the year. One of those goals – which I count as quantifiable – is Don’t Read The News. Do I need to be constantly updated with Pandemic News? No, I do not. Does constantly scrolling through the news ramp up my anxiety and feelings of hopelessness? Yes, it does. It’s an easy fix. The news will happen with or without me; I don’t need to read it. I get email updates from the CBE and the government concerning changes in policies that affect me and that affect the schools, and honestly, that’s enough. I don’t need a constant barrage of information. If something really important happens, someone will tell me, I’m sure. Following the daily case counts and death counts and positivity rates and R-values does nothing for me; it’s not going to change my low-risk behaviour, it is only going to make me despair.

My daily gratitude meditation is, of course, that the kids are back at school, as safely as possible. I am so grateful. I know many of you are living in jurisdictions in which the prevailing attitude is that either the pandemic doesn’t exist or that individual rights to not wear masks or distance or vaccinate far outweigh public health and the well-being of the community at large. For those of you living with that reality and experience, I am so sorry. I wish I could bring you here and keep you safe and healthy.

Although, if I did bring you here, you might need to pack some layers. Last week the daily high temperatures were in the minus twenties, with the windchill factors in the high minus thirties. Today, the extreme cold snap is supposed to break and that, along with the kids going back to school, makes me feel hopeful.

Pandemic Reading

Humankind. This was a very interesting and hopeful read! Covering the London Blitz and other war strategies, as well as psychological experiments from the Stanford Prison Experiment to the one with people electrically shocking other people, to the real-life Lord of the Flies and the Christmas truce of 1914, this book is full of information and compassion. I like the message that we are what we feed ourselves, in terms of information. The experiments that supposedly show the dark side of humankind are exposed in a different way, which did make me feel hopeful. It should be noted that this book was published in 2019, so pre-pandemic but mid-Trump-regime.

Things I Don’t Want To Know: On Writing. I really liked this quick little memoir of Deborah Levy’s South African childhood and her writing life. This is the first of three memoirs, and I will definitely read the next two.

This Will Only Hurt A Little. Have you ever read a celebrity memoir without having any idea who the celebrity is? I picked this up on my friend Terry’s (HI TERRY) recommendation, not knowing who Busy Phillips is (she’s in TV shows I’ve never watched and movies I’ve never heard of, plus she’s an Instagram star!). It’s very brave of her to write so candidly. Her life is kind of a hot mess, honestly, but this was worth the read/ enraging due to the stories about men in Hollywood and their entitlement and bad behaviour. Also, when she was pregnant she was constantly asked if she was having twins which, me too, Busy. Me too.

Want. This is a short and exquisitely written book that perfectly describes so many experiences: wealth, bankruptcy, consumption, motherhood, friendship, health insurance, and, most of all, all-encompassing privilege. It’s really well done BUT I found it depressing and frustrating to read. It’s dark, and enraging. I wanted to shake the main character so much and tell her to make better choices.

I am starting this week feeling hopeful; what is the situation like where you are? xo

Hippy-Dippy Goals; Ninety-Four Weeks In

Happy New Year!

As I mentioned in my 2021 roundup, the year ended – and the New Year started – on kind of a low point. The boys were supposed to be going back to school tomorrow, but on December 30 it was announced that winter break would be extended to the 10th, and January diploma exams, of which my older son was due to write three, would be cancelled.

For the past several months, I have been saying to myself that as long as the kids are in school, I can take anything. I could go back to patchy grocery store shelves, I could line up at Costco, my husband could continue to work out of our basement, I could wear a mask anywhere and everywhere and see friends outdoors, I could forgo parties and travel and everything else, just let the kids be in school. They have been so happy in these past four months, and, well. Here we are.

The announcement made me feel like folding in on myself like an accordion, and to just go to bed. I did, however, get up on New Year’s Eve, rolled out my yoga mat, and picked up my poetry books. I read the final Rumi poem of the year, I did it, you guys, and then, because it was completely uninspiring to me, I opened up Mary Oliver’s Devotions and came across this:

This whole pandemic, all ninety-four weeks of it, I have been thinking to myself Just Keep Swimming. But it occurred to me, after reading this, that the past ninety-four weeks have had a lot of long lonely falls and frenzied risings. Perhaps all these swings will mean that our children will be the most resilient generation, learning to pivot and adapt and thrive in any circumstances.

My younger son scoffs at the idea of New Year’s resolutions or goal setting; he sets goals throughout the year, not just in January. I am the same way; throughout the year I add goals or concepts or mantras that I want to live by, and then I start right away. However, it’s nice to lay them out in January, feeling like it’s a fresh start; at the least, January is a good time to reflect on past goals and future ones. There’s nothing quite like a brand-new calendar to make you feel fresh and rejuvenated.

OKAY, CALENDAR, I’LL TRY.

It must be said that the majority of my goals are completely unquantifiable. Not all of them – I’ve had “buy a new bra” on my annual list for YEARS and finally, last year, I bought not only one, but THREE, STRIKE IT FROM THE TO-DO LIST – but most. How do you measure “mindfulness,” for example? I like having unquantifiable goals, though, because they are things that you can always keep in mind and work on throughout the year, and easily add to. Over the next couple of weeks, I am going to lay out some actually quantifiable goals that I work on daily. I mean, what else is there to write about in January? The never-ending feelings of despair that come from nearly two years of pandemic life? The fact that my teenagers will never experience normal high school life? The worry that my sons’ activities that they love will be cancelled? The concern about their education and preparation for adult life? NO. I’ve written enough about that. I’ve thought enough about that. We have all had enough.

Anyway, for today, I want to talk about the concepts and mantras that I use for everyday living.

Embrace The Season

Back in *checks blog* June 2021, I was inspired to Embrace the Season, by an incredible woman who has since passed. Rest in peace, Melanie. I think that Embracing the Season that you are in is probably the best way to go through life; you are here, this is now.

There are wonderful, joyful, inspiring things happening in every season of our lives, yes, even this one, yes, even though it’s actually minus 28 right now. It’s Winter, both literally and figuratively, let’s treat ourselves like favoured children, like our most loved ones. Right? Right.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

This goes with Embracing the Season. I’m planted here, in this city, and this is where I’ll bloom. I can make things better one tiny step at a time; I can do this with my yoga classes and my interactions with people, friends and strangers alike, I can make my yard and home into something beautiful, I can write things that will hopefully reach people in the way that I intend. I’m going to bloom, damn it.

Does anyone remember the old poem called You Learn? It was sort of about breakups and relationships, and I read it as a teenager. Back then, it was deeply meaningful to me; I’m pretty sure I read it after a breakup. Oh, the fires of youth. Anyway, there is a line in there that I have remembered lo these many years, and it was Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. Let’s plant our own gardens, and we can bloom in them.

Friluftsliv

It feels very appropriate to talk about Friluftsliv when it’s MINUS 28. I first discovered this concept in the fall of 2020, and I have adopted it in my life. It’s a Norwegian word that means, roughly, outdoor living, and goes with the idea that there is no bad weather, just bad clothes. I like to tie Friluftsliv in with Embracing the Season and Blooming Where You Are Planted because this is where I live, and where I live is more often cold and unpleasant than not. I go for a walk every day, no matter the weather, and I can tell you that dressing appropriately is the key. With proper clothing, even minus 30 is doable, with the bonus that I feel like a hardy Norwegian superstar afterwards. This segues nicely into…

Hygge

I absolutely love the concept of hygge – am I spiritually Danish? Maybe. – because what could be better than coziness and warmth in the winter? I see lots of books and warm drinks and baking in my future; not that this is a change for me, but still. Hygge.

Gratitude and Awe

Sometimes it’s easy to have feelings of gratitude and awe; maybe the sky is brilliantly blue and the trees are covered with snow, and it’s a perfect scene. Maybe my family picks up some of the household chores without being asked, gratitude, gratitude. Maybe we will get an email from the school that says the kids are going back – too much to ask? Maybe.

Several months ago I was listening to an interview with Giselle Bunchen, of all people, and she said that she practices gratitude daily; when she has a plate of fruit she thinks of the farmers, of the sun and the rain that helped the fruit to grow, the people who pick the fruit, the person who drove the truck to the supermarket, and the people who work at the supermarket. When you think about it that way, an apple can seem like a miracle. Then I was reading Wake Up To The Joy In You, and there was a paragraph about the miracle that is a book: the process to make paper, the years of perfecting the printed word, the writer who wrote the book, and the miles the book has travelled to be in your hands. When you start thinking about life that way, everything is miraculous. It takes practice, but I’m trying.

Pandemic Reading – The Year Long Books

A Year With Rumi. I did it! I finished this! I did consider, very briefly, not finishing, but then the day after I posted about it, the poem of the day was The Guest House, which is probably my favourite Rumi poem (the bar is kind of low), and I took that as a sign to keep going. 365 poems and just a handful resonated with me; apparently I’m not a Rumi person. “Is it because he’s a man?” my son asked me. Maybe?

Wake Up To The Joy In You. I loved this book of meditations so much that I think I will re-read it in 2022. I read one chapter a week and then kept the meditation in mind throughout the week. I cannot say enough about this book; it’s an incredible journey of self-care and self-acceptance and self-love, and what could be a better thing to start the year with? I mean, look at this last chapter. EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO READ.

Pandemic Reading – The Regular Week

How To Be A Victorian. Good lord I am glad to live in the modern age, even with a global pandemic and the polarization of our population on literally every topic. AT LEAST WE HAVE WASHING MACHINES. And food. And toilets. And central heating. And pretty much everything else. This book is an incredibly well-researched book about daily life in the Victorian age – the author has lived and worked on a “Victorian farm” and I admire her commitment to detail. Corsets, skirts, brushing her teeth with soot. Going without water-based washing for four months. Eating suet, SUET PEOPLE. Anyway, some chapters dragged for me and others were fascinating, particularly the home remedies and medical chapter. Oh! And the air quality in Victorian London was so gross – pea soup fog, no proper sewage…yay for the modern age! There is a passage about the pea soup fogs of London; at the worst of times you could wave your hand in front of your face and not see it. IMAGINE. Anyway, thanks to my friend Jeni (HI JENI) for the recommendation. Talk about gratitude. I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE, I SWEAR.

The Relatives. I was really interested to read this as I have been mixed on Gibb’s books. I loved Sweetness in the Belly, but did not love This Is Happy – sorry to all of you who adore that book. I really liked The Relatives, a lot. In fact, I devoured it. Such an interesting cast of characters, all interrelated but unknowingly. I am going to give some trigger warnings here for…a lot of things? Infertility, child neglect, abuse, and a lot of kind of gross imagery. But for all that, I really enjoyed this.

Love and Other Words. This was so disappointing for me. I really like this author and I really do like a nice, light romance, but this just didn’t do it for me. It dragged so much and I had a hard time caring about the characters and the story line. Blah blah blah. Anyway, not for me but on to the next book!

I feel like this post has been a bit of a journey for me, since I started writing it. I am still low-level worried and anxious and sad about school, but we are here, we are together, we’ve come this far and we can keep going. Right? I mean, let’s think about the Victorians. We have running CLEAN water, we might be facing Covid but we have vaccines and medical care and, presumably, we are not going to all die of cholera, because of the running water. My kids are at school, not in a sweatshop doing child labour, and today I’m going to bake muffins and do laundry and neither of those things will require massive amounts of physical exertion. Life is good, even when it feels a bit disheartening. How are you feeling, this New Year? Tell me everything. xo

Boyhouse Year In Review 2021

Is it just me or was this year actually a decade?

Well! I think at this time last year we thought the Pandemic At The Disco would be in the rearview mirror, and yet it is not. Currently we are going through our FIFTH wave, which is extremely disheartening and, at this point, makes me feel like this is forever. Intellectually I know that’s not the case; everything passes with time and this will too. (WHEN?)

We are ending the year on a low; yesterday it was announced that the winter break would be “extended” and the January diploma exams, of which my older son was due to write three, have been cancelled. It is very discouraging. Going through this post I realized that there were many low moments, but I do feel like there was a lot of joy and laughter this year as well. I think living through a global pandemic has forced me to re-examine my life and to make new kinds of choices about it. There have been ups and downs and in-betweens, and, on that note, let’s examine the year in the Boyhouse.

Boyhouse Year In Review 2021

January

I set some goals and expressed my gratitude, I cleaned my oven and reused canning lids, after six weeks of at-home learning the kids went back to school and my son immediately broke his glasses in gym class, and I talked about being judgmental and how I don’t want to be that way, but we are only human. I also shared my hot tip on how to grow your hair out – just stop cutting it.

I kind of forgot how grim things were last January, with everything closed down for the second wave. Wait, was it the second? Yes, second. Still, look at that photo! Lots of beauty still to be found.

February

I continued to embrace the concept of friluftsliv with my fabulous wardrobe choices, I decided to change my mindset towards overstocking the pantry and also my period, it was really, really cold and it was also Family Day, which was great since I hadn’t spent every SINGLE waking hour with my family for eleven months, and I was really sad and couldn’t figure out if it was hormones or, you know, life in a pandemic. I also expressed my love for hearts and chocolate.

I must have cleaned my fridge right before that photo – it’s so shiny!

March

My son was almost done with his braces and to celebrate, I made him be my pack horse at the liquor store, in the spirit of Trying New Things I had body sugaring done and it was life-changing, I reflected on one year of Pandemic Living, I compared Costco 2021 to Costco 2020, and we had A Very Eventful Week which started with me thinking I had a blood clot to my son threatening to burn his orthodontic elastics, and, failing that, his masks. To add to the excitement, I talked about my favourite cleaning items, please don’t everyone click on that at once, you might break the internet.

April

Wow, a lot of things went wrong and so I was as cross as two sticks, my tenacious chin hair turned white and I had lots of awkward interactions at the library, we were in another mini-lockdown and so I talked about my Coping Mechanisms, I talked about being Pro-Aging, as opposed to Anti-Aging, which is a ridiculous concept, and I got vaccinated the day after my birthday! I also talked about my favourite skin-care products FOR PRO-AGING.

Gosh, remember how hopeful we all felt back then? Like the Pandemic was no longer going to be At The Disco. Good times.

May

After talking about Pro-Aging, I was asked if I wanted the senior’s discount at Shoppers, and then the lady didn’t even give me the discount, I had a really big downward spiral and then started to climb back up, then I had lots of ups and downs, including lineups at Costco (down) and flower purchases (up), it snowed and the kids were slated to go back to in-person school, Barkley turned 13, and I discussed all my favourite little helpers!

June

I was inspired to Embrace the Season – inspired by a woman who, sadly, has just recently passed after a long and difficult illness. Her words will remain with me forever, and she will be much missed. Rest in peace, Melanie.

Less sadly, I talked about clothing trends and how depressing the mall is these days, after a couple of weeks being in school the boys were on exam break, our provincial government continued to be stupid and dropped every single Covid protocol which, spoiler alert, was not a good idea, and I did a lot of gardening.

July

We visited my parents and I swam in the lake, the province may have dropped their mask mandate, but I kept my own, I talked about aging and my aging face, and I bought new bras and shared my favourite life-changing items.

August

We went on vacation and unsurprisingly given the complete lack of Covid restrictions, there were tons of outbreaks, I read a lot, I was grateful to Spotify, my aunt sent me Royal Family memorabilia, I almost lost my mind not being able to find my clothes, I did an “Ask Me Anything” post, I recycled all the old boxes my husband had hoarded out of the storage room, I got very Landslide-y, and recalled all the stupid things I used to worry about, and I loved my garden.

September

Thank you, Universe, the kids went back to school, we got our ducts cleaned and found a sheep, and my husband and I went to Lake Louise, I recapped eighteen months of Pandemic Life, my son turned 16 and I did a deep dive into Jane Eyre, I talked about clothing trends and bought new jeans, and I shared all my handbags with you.

October

I was feeling very low, I talked about gourds and Gords, I was – as always – grateful for modern technology as I have zero sense of direction, my cute little mini-gourds were being eaten by something in the neighbourhood, and I shared my favourite things about Spooky Season and discovered a gruesome scene.

November

I shifted my festivities focus from Spooky Season to Tiny Secret Festive Season, I was living la vida hygge, I had one-on-one time with my younger son and WE ATE TAKEOUT FOOD, I learned about thirst traps, I got full-on festive, and I talked about the reasons I love November.

Usually by this time in the annual recap, I think well, this just happened! but it feels like November was a year ago already. Time has no meaning.

December

I received the most thoughtful Secret Santa gift and my son came down with a cold, I completely lost track of the days, I had not one, but two Christmas miracles, I went to Banff with my husband, and I shared my favourite things about December.

As we wrap up the (very strange and weirdly long) year, I wish you all the best in 2022. WHO KNOWS WHAT 2022 WILL BRING. I think we can all agree that no one can predict anything anymore, but I hope you are all safe and healthy, and am wishing you much joy, peace, and happiness. Thank you, always, for reading my little blog. xo

Post-Christmas Haze; Ninety-Three Weeks In

Hello there! I’m currently in that lovely post-Christmas, pre-New Year’s haze, still sipping coffee from my Christmas mugs, still surrounded by Christmas decorations and cards but with added Christmas CHOCOLATES everywhere, but without the busyness that comes pre-Christmas. It’s nice. There’s not much on my to-do list this week, other than the regular and never-ending household things, like the two giant loads of laundry I did yesterday after returning home from two nights at my parents’, not that I’m complaining, I will never complain again about the laundry, I have learned my lesson.

As a side note, I am currently reading an incredibly well-researched book about day-to-day life in the Victorian age, and there is a note about how the invention of the washing machine is considered to be up there with contraception and the vote in improvement of the lives of women. Reading about what was entailed in Washing Day certainly shows that. He worked really hard, Grandpa. So do washing machines.

Anyway! The big news around here, apart from the constant, never-ending, increasingly grim and worrisome Pandemic Updates, is the Weather. This was the ambient temperature at my parents’ house yesterday morning:

FEELS LIKE MINUS 42 YOU GUYS. There is cold, there is Cold, and then there is COLD.

One of my Christmas gifts from my husband – and this was a really lovely surprise – was a pair of battery-operated heated mittens. I feel this will be a life-changing item for this Reynaud-y girl.

Friluftsliv! Could I BE wearing any more clothes? There’s no bad weather, only bad clothes, I’m half Norwegian, etc.

I have never posted a photo of my husband on the blog before, and I probably never will again, but get ready because here he is:

If you recognize him on the street, be sure to say hi.

Despite our frosted heads, I was actually really warm, which goes to show that layers do work, and heated mittens are an incredible invention; maybe not quite as incredible as the automatic washing machine, but they are up there, Steve.

We spent Christmas Eve at home, watching Elf and wearing our WWE Christmas sweaters; the guys did their annual gingerbread house and you know what, there are no obscene markings with frosting or dead Santas, things have really changed in the Boyhouse:

We opened our gifts and stockings at home, and then drove up to my parents’ place to eat, drink, and be merry. I think I am now actually about fifty percent snack mix, and the other fifty percent is wine and Christmas sweets. We also played some heated rounds of Rummoli and rediscovered the sadistic joys of Sorry. Remember that game? It was really fun.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, because it happened six days ago and, you know what that’s like in Pandemic World, it feels like six months. My husband booked a night away for the two of us in Banff, and it was just so wonderful. Two things of note: this was the first time that we have left the boys alone for a night, and this was the first night away for the two of us since 2017. Per the first part, the boys are very responsible and all was just fine, of course, and per the second: 2017! I am going to go out on a limb and say that five years between having a night away is probably too many years. We hadn’t been to the Banff Springs since the boys were very small; I think perhaps my oldest was in kindergarten the last time, and the experience was even more magical than I remembered.

We walked downtown for dinner, and on the way back we walked through the town’s special light show, The Spirit of Christmas, which was gorgeous.

Our timing could not have been better; we were there the one day that temperatures were relatively mild – just below freezing – and when we got home the snow and wind started, and the temperatures plummeted, and I focused on hygge feelings and friluftsliv, as per my Northern European heritage.

So that was a wonderful way to kick off the holidays! The next day was Festivus and I did not even feel like I had any grievances to air, so floaty and relaxed was I. We did, however, play this game with the boys:

If you see this in the store and feel tempted to buy it, I am going to warn you that it’s actually not very fun. It was surprisingly dull and I think that Sorry would have been much better.

Pandemic Reading

Between Two Kingdoms. I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time to come; what an incredible memoir. Imagine being 22 and diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukaemia. The author goes through years of debilitating treatment, and comes through to wonder what’s next. She realized her whole life was centred on survival, but not living, and went on a road trip across the States. This book got me really thinking about the nature of illness, but also the role of the caregiver in such a relationship. The author’s boyfriend of only a few months essentially took on this role, and honestly, I don’t think I could have done a tenth of what he did. Anyway, it’s an incredible story, the author is a brilliant writer, and what she survived is actually breathtakingly horrific.

Where The Grass Is Green And The Girls Are Pretty. This was a good read about college admission scandals, which is something I don’t actually know much about. It’s just so different in Canada, I guess. The thing about this book is the characters are very complex – all at once sympathetic and also unlikeable. I have read a few books by this author and I think her writing has really gotten better with time, although the title? It’s not great. But, it’s just a title.

I hope you are all getting some well-deserved rest and relaxation! How have your holidays been so far? Tell me everything. xo

Two Christmas Miracles; Ninety-Two Weeks In

Here we are, in the homestretch to the Festive Finish Line, and I have not one, but TWO Christmas miracles to tell you about. Cue the hype-up music – are you ready for this?

Christmas Miracle Number One: Costco

Last week I was due for a Costco trip, and during this Pandemic At The Disco, I have gotten into the habit of combining that with my weekly Superstore trip, so that I hit Superstore at or around opening at eight, and then Costco at or around opening at nine. To say I was not looking forward to this would be an understatement: it’s always a physically exhausting activity, but it was also minus 20 and there was snow on the ground, which makes parking lot cart maneuvering extremely difficult.

I dropped the kids at school and zipped over to Superstore; there were numerous weirdly empty shelves, and those empty shelves seemed extremely random and unrelated to each other or any Weird World Events. With Superstore, it’s a tossup whether or not there is a Pandemic Shortage or just Superstore Weirdness. For example, there were some imported rice and noodles, but no eggs. There were tons of fresh greens, but only two kinds of apples. Other than that, the trip was without incident, unless you count the side-eyes I got from humming and grooving to the store’s Christmas music. What? The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear, not that I was actually singing – no one needs to hear that – but still, I was doing my part for society. If you don’t want me to cart-dance to Last Christmas, then don’t PLAY Last Christmas, Superstore.

One of the side-eyes I got was from the cashier, and I smiled and told her that I love that song. She replied, somewhat grumpily, that she had been listening to it since November 15. So have I, but by choice I didn’t say, because there really is a difference between listening to songs on repeat by one’s own volition or not, as evidenced by the many, many times I heard Werewolves of London back in my university waitressing days. I get it, is what I’m saying.

As a side note, Last Christmas will always have my heart (I gave you my heart), but this year I’ve also been auditorily addicted to N’Sync’s Merry Christmas Happy Holidays, Chris Rea’s Driving Home for Christmas, and Kelly Clarkson’s Underneath The Tree. It’s an interesting mashup, what goes on in my head.

In any case, I got what I needed at Superstore, loaded up the car, and headed over to Costco.

Costco, ten days before Christmas. I blasted the 70s on 7 channel, singing loudly, like a football player listening to In The Air Tonight before a big game. I was literally hyping myself up, thinking I’ve shopped here in spring 2020, I’ve made it through the Great Toilet Paper and Flour Shortage of 2020, DO YOUR WORST, COSTCO, COME AT ME, BITCH.

Costco:

I will tell you this: I haven’t seen Costco like that since 2019. It was so quiet, the shelves were full of everything that I needed (and more, it is Costco after all). I was in and out in half an hour, and, I don’t know if it was just because it was so early in the day, but there were no stray carts in the parking lot. IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

Christmas Miracle Number Two: The Dryer

I got home from my epic grocery trip, still in disbelief over the ease at which I procured said groceries, and started unloading and unpacking the car. While doing so, I thought I would pop the clothes from the washer into the dryer; I took the time to hang the delicates to dry – mostly a few sweaters and some yoga clothes and sports bras – and then pressed the start button.

Nothing happened.

I stood there motionless for a moment, and then started pressing the button with increasing force and rapidity, like I was in a hurry waiting for an elevator; I knew that it was useless to do so and yet I was powerless to stop myself. Needless to say, nothing continued to happen.

My immediate thought was this is karma. I was JUST complaining about how much time I spend doing laundry, this is the universe’s way of reminding me of the incredibly blessed life I lead. NEVER COMPLAIN. My second thought was thank god it was the dryer. I mean, of all appliances to go, the dryer is the easiest one to live without. Clothes can be hung to dry. I have many friends in the neighbourhood who would certainly let me use their dryer if needed. Laundromats exist. Also, the day before I had laundered all the flannel sheets, so it was very lucky that it didn’t break down at that time; that would have been tricky to deal with. As it was, I used everything I could think of in the basement to hang the wet clothes on: I filled our drying rack, then moved on to my son’s music stand, the barbell weight stand, and the small step ladder. I would have gone to Walmart and cleaned out their supply of drying racks, but my husband stopped me. He thought he could solve the problem.

Here’s the thing about the Pandemic and The Way The Pandemic Has Affected My Brain: I just assumed that I would be living without a dryer indefinitely. Well, I guess I don’t have a dryer now, better go buy some drying racks. Can you blame me? There’s so much buzz about the supply chain, I just assumed there was no supply. My husband phoned and left a message with a local repairman; I put on my snow pants and went for a walk, secretly vowing to go buy many drying racks on my return. While I was out, my husband texted me to say that the repairman was on his way.

What?

I had no idea that a repairman coming that same day was even an option, but John the Repairman was there when I got back. After calling around, he said there were parts locally available and he would return on Friday to fix the problem. “The only problem is I can’t test the motor,” he said, “But that’s a rare problem. If the motor’s gone, it’s a thousand-dollar fix.”

Cue ominous music.

Friday morning John the Repairman came back, and within fifteen minutes came to report that the worst indeed came to the worst: the motor was dead. We decided not to fix our ten-year-old dryer, I gave John the Repairman a bag of Christmas treats, and he left. I started another small load of laundry, hanging the clothes to dry, while my husband looked at the Lowes’ website.

THERE WERE MANY DRYERS IN STOCK AND AVAILABLE.

Still, I didn’t quite believe it. The next day my husband and son went out and returned with a brand-new dryer in the truck. They recruited my older son in helping to maneuver it down our narrow basement stairs, unhooked the old dryer, loaded it on the truck, and within the hour I had a working dryer. Am I living in an actual Christmas movie? IT IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

It is also a reminder of how lucky I am. I feel like I should never complain about anything ever again. Especially about anything food related: I don’t want karma to come back and take my fridge or freezer or stove. I briefly had a I’m so tired of making dinner feeling and then snapped out of it. DON’T THINK SUCH THOUGHTS, NICOLE, THE UNIVERSE IS LISTENING.

For the last several years, we use this cute wooden Advent calendar as a Gratitude Calendar: every day we each write one good thing about our day on a slip of paper, and then on New Year’s Eve, we read all of them. I feel like all of my remaining days I should write I have working appliances, thank you, Universe, I have working appliances.

Pandemic Reading

This week I finished the Giller Prize shortlist, and just in time for all my library holds to un-pause and start streaming in.

On the right is the completed pile of Giller Prize shortlisted books, loaned to me by my friend Marion (HI MARION), the left is the pile of library books, and in the middle is the book that I have been reading by bits and pieces for months.

On to this week’s reading!

The Listeners. Based on the description, I would have NEVER picked up this book, but I’m glad I did as I think it’s important to expand my mind and read different things once in a while. That said, I did not love this book, but I did appreciate it for the excellent writing and interesting storyline. A woman hears a strange humming noise; it keeps her up at night, causes migraines and nosebleeds, and no one else can hear it – until one of her students mentions it. She finds a group, all of whom can hear the noise, and things start to fall apart. This is a book that draws parallels to conspiracy theories and cults, and is really incredibly interesting. There are a few parts that jump from one place to another, which makes it a bit tricky to follow, but on the whole this is really well written.

What Strange Paradise. This was the winner of the Giller Prize, and I can see why: it’s exquisitely written and quite timely in terms of subject matter. A migrant boat full of refugees is washed up on the shore of a Greek island, and there is only one survivor: a young Syrian boy. This is very moving, and obviously, given the subject matter, tragically sad.

The Holiday Swap. This is a Hallmark holiday movie in book form, and I am 100% here for it. It has everything: identical twins – one a glamourous TV host, one a homebody running the family bakery – who switch places for a week, an idyllic, snowy, mountain-town setting, romantic interests in the local firefighter and a physician’s assistant, delicious baked goods, a rescue dog, and a cat named Gateau. There are some twists and turns but, naturally, everything works out in the end. This was just a lovely, light, fun read, especially after my string of Very Heavy Books.

I wish you all a very happy holiday season! I hope you can find light, love, and laughter. And maybe some puzzles, games, and delicious treats as well. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things; The I Love December Edition

I love the month of December. It just feels so magical; objectively it’s a cold and dark month, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. I mean, it IS dark, it IS cold – it is minus 21 this morning! – but I don’t mind. I mean, yes, I would rather not spend ten minutes layering my clothes to go outside, but at least I can put on Barkley’s festive scarf when we go out.

Every year at this time someone decorates the trees lining the walking path, and I am one hundred percent here for it.

It’s been kind of an exhausting week in the Boyhouse, this last week of school. My younger son had two wrestling tournaments in a five-day span and has been going in early every day to catch up on the electro-tech projects he missed due to his cold, and both boys have had numerous big exams and essays due this week. We are all looking forward to the break, reminiscing about the elementary school days when nothing at all was accomplished during the entire month of December except maybe some crafts and caroling.

The break! Today is my last class until January. As I mentioned in my last post, it feels like December is just flying by, and so I am taking time to just stop and appreciate the things I love about it. Without further ado, it’s time for…

Nicole’s Favourite Things; The I Love December Edition

Winter Sky

The sun rises after 8:30 am and sets before 4:30; during the day the sun is so low in the sky as to be always a little bit in my eyes, even at noon. I watch the sky from a dark, dusky navy to completely black, and back again, sometimes with a little colour thrown in.

What December doesn’t have in terms of long hours of sunlight, it makes up for with a special kind of beauty.

It’s Puzzling

My darling friend Allison (HI ALLISON) sent me a Christmas Vacation puzzle, and I felt so seen!

I love puzzles and I love Christmas Vacation. What is it about puzzles? They completely take over my life. I am OBSESSED. All I want to do is work on the puzzle, and I have to be quite disciplined because I find that I’ll sit down to find just one piece and then an hour will disappear. I want everyone to just fend for themselves so that I can just puzzle. MY LIFE IS THE PUZZLE NOW, EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. When I’m in the midst of a puzzle – especially a challenging one like this – I almost forget what life was like, pre-puzzle. What did I do? What did I think about? I found a piece that I’d been looking for for DAYS, and I screamed with joy. My husband came in from snow-blowing and was a little startled, and could hardly understand excited babbling. The piece! That was in the trailer window! I found it!

All of which is to say, this puzzle is one of my Favourite Things, thank you Allison.

Carve It Up

My friend Sharyl and I go way back; we were friends first, and then when I became a yoga teacher she really took me under her wing and mentored me. We used to teach yoga for stroke survivors together, and I learned so much from her and that class. We used to laugh about ourselves at Christmastime, as we were the living embodiment of this meme.

I think you can tell who is who here.

Once in December, we were preparing to teach and Sharyl asked me to put on some music; I suggested a Christmas playlist and Sharyl looked at me like this:

The reason I give you this background on Sharyl is that her husband has been carving and selling Christmas ornaments, the proceeds of which all go to charity. These ornaments are adorable, and beautifully made, and Sharyl’s house must have been, at one point, completely full of them. I love thinking of Sharyl surrounded by ornaments. Now to get her to listen to Christmas music in November. Love you, Sharyl, and love my new ornaments:

Florence’s Art, Again

Remember last month when I told you about my friend Florence (HI FLORENCE) and how she was involved in the Under 100 Art Show? That was last weekend and there were so many beautiful pieces there, and all so very affordable. It was the first art show I had ever been to, and I loved looking at everything; of course, my favourite was Florence’s display.

It was hard to choose but this was my favourite:

Isn’t it lovely? I am looking forward to next year’s show!

Boom! This Stuff Is Amazing

After trying the white chocolate peppermint, I told you last month that I would purchase the dark chocolate, limited edition Boom Chicka Pop and report back, and people, I do not go back on my word. Purchase it I did, and then purchase it again I did, and then purchase it a third time I did because holy moly, you guys. This stuff is incredible. And maybe a teensy bit addicting, so be warned:

You may ask which one I prefer, the dark chocolate or the white chocolate peppermint, and I cannot answer that question. That would be like naming a favourite child. I love them equally, but differently.

I hope you’re finding some beautiful things to enjoy this month! Tell me about them. xo

What Day Is It Again; Ninety-One Weeks In

I do not know what’s going on with my neighbours and their drainage, but this guy has returned several times since I first sighted him in October:

I did finally catch a glimpse of him, after an embarrassing amount of peeking out the window whilst folding laundry, and it was, to be honest, a bit of a let down. I mean, I’m sure he’s Hot Rod for someone, but not for me.

Speaking of folding laundry, I have been really wanting to do one of those “snapshot of my day” posts, but I spend so much time doing boring things like folding laundry and cleaning the kitchen that I find it somewhat depressing. I love reading other people’s “snapshot of my day” posts and “my day in pictures” post, and meanwhile, here’s me:

3:00 pm: Nicole folds a massive load of laundry while listening to a podcast about the development of the polio vaccine, hashtag living my best life.

I did consider it last week though, and even took a photo of my Morning Practice Space, the festive prettiness of which really makes up for the squishiness of which, and the “bumping into the wall and/ or table” of which.

Maybe one day! Maybe one day I will treat you to A Day In The Life of Nicole, and you can all be wowed by the incredible amount of things I get done before 10:00 am, and simultaneously, but differently, wowed by the complete lack of things that I do after 7:00 pm. One of my yoga students asked if I still go to bed at nine o’clock, to which I replied that nine is a LATE night for me these days. I’m essentially comatose by that time.

I keep thinking it is much later in the month than it actually is. For the last week I’ve had these panicky Christmas is next week feelings, and then I have to remind myself of the actual date. I blame the fact that this is the last week of school and of my classes of 2022; usually these things go into the 20s of the month, but not this year. It feels like December is flying by, but I am going to reiterate: it is the thirteenth. Christmas is NOT this weekend, no matter what my brain keeps saying.

I’m not complaining, just, apparently, confused. Oh god, remember last year? Last year at this time, things were in a pretty dismal state; school had gone online, which was absolutely dreadful, and there was a “no gatherings at all” rule. I’m sure lots of weirdness lies ahead, but I’m going to just take things as they come. Basically, as long as the kids are in physical school, I don’t really care what else happens. That is my bar, and it is low.

Because of last year, I think I have developed a Come At Me attitude when it comes to almost everything, but particularly grocery shopping. I am planning to visit Costco after my usual Superstore grocery run this week, and in years past I would never have gone to Costco so close to Christmas (IT’S NOT THAT CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS, NICOLE, IT’S ONLY THE THIRTEENTH). Anyway. This year, I don’t care. I mean, what can happen – will I have to line up to get in the store? Been there. Will I have to line up in the store? I did that two weeks ago. Will there be shortages? WHO CARES, I JUST WANT MY CASE OF MACADAMIA NUT MILK AND SOME KALETTES. IF THEY AREN’T THERE I’LL GET SOMETHING ELSE, HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, COSTCO.

A few updates from last week: there are limited supplies of both rice AND noodles at Superstore, as well as other imported items – I was able to snag a bottle of sesame oil, which was one thing I was actually running low on. My pantry is pretty full right now, as I have that It’s A Pandemic And We Are Going Into Shortage Season feeling.

Also – and I am wary just writing this – no one else has succumbed to The Cold. May our good health continue!

Pandemic Reading

I have been wondering if I should even tell you about this, but it’s a tiny nag at the back of my brain. About six months ago, I received a message from a woman I know who told me that she purchased a couple of books I had enjoyed, and she wanted to let me know that they were completely boring and she hated them. She went so far to say that one of the books that I had loved was the worst book she had ever read. With that in mind, I wanted to clarify a few things.

Reading is very subjective, and, with the exception of a few books that I think are IMPORTANT, such as Caste or My Grandmother’s Hands, I do not necessarily recommend any of the books in my weekly reading recap. I might love a book – which I really, really do this week – but that doesn’t mean I think YOU will love it. Maybe you will! But we all have such different tastes, and my love of a book does not translate into an across-the-board recommendation for all. I have read many books that people have raved about it, that left me feeling meh, but that’s on me, I think. There are also whole genres that other people love, such as sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, that I am extremely averse to. That doesn’t mean those books are inherently bad or boring in any way, they just aren’t for me.

With that in mind, I was pretty taken aback by that message; I knew it wasn’t a personal affront, but it kind of felt like one. All of which is to say that when I absolutely love a book, I don’t expect you to, but maybe you will (if you are Anna (HI ANNA), my book twin, I DO expect you to!). Shared enjoyment of a book has nothing to do with friendship, either. One of my best friends, Allison (HI ALLISON) loves sci-fi and horror, Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) loves a good mystery, and many of my friends love fantasy and time travel, which I do not.

This week I have continued my reading of the Giller Prize shortlist, which was loaned to me by my friend Marion (HI MARION), and I am about to rave about a book.

Son of the House. I am going to come right out and say it: this might be the best book I have read all year. After looking at the Giller Prize shortlist, this was the one I was most excited to read, and it did not disappoint. It checks every box for me: the minutia of women’s lives in a society that oppresses them, and how they overcome the various oppressions, a description of a country and culture that is not my own – in this case, Nigeria – and multiple eras and points of view with intersectional, but seemingly unrelated, characters. Two women – one, a formerly impoverished housemaid and one a wealthy, educated principal of a school – are kidnapped in Nigeria and they tell their stories, and it is a fascinating, incredible, beautifully written book. I loved it so much.

Fight Night. In contrast, this was the book I was LEAST excited to read on the shortlist, having not been a big fan of Toews. However, I was pleasantly surprised! This was a really good read; it is written from the viewpoint of a child, so the narration is unreliable and interesting. As with most of Toews’ works, the subject material is quite dark and disturbing, but the book itself is quite lovely and touching. It has a very strong theme of family and struggle, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this.

Have a great week, everyone, and if you are like me and continuously confused by the calendar, Christmas is in twelve days! It’s not this coming weekend, it’s NEXT weekend. xo