Happy New Year!
As I mentioned in my 2021 roundup, the year ended – and the New Year started – on kind of a low point. The boys were supposed to be going back to school tomorrow, but on December 30 it was announced that winter break would be extended to the 10th, and January diploma exams, of which my older son was due to write three, would be cancelled.
For the past several months, I have been saying to myself that as long as the kids are in school, I can take anything. I could go back to patchy grocery store shelves, I could line up at Costco, my husband could continue to work out of our basement, I could wear a mask anywhere and everywhere and see friends outdoors, I could forgo parties and travel and everything else, just let the kids be in school. They have been so happy in these past four months, and, well. Here we are.
The announcement made me feel like folding in on myself like an accordion, and to just go to bed. I did, however, get up on New Year’s Eve, rolled out my yoga mat, and picked up my poetry books. I read the final Rumi poem of the year, I did it, you guys, and then, because it was completely uninspiring to me, I opened up Mary Oliver’s Devotions and came across this:
This whole pandemic, all ninety-four weeks of it, I have been thinking to myself Just Keep Swimming. But it occurred to me, after reading this, that the past ninety-four weeks have had a lot of long lonely falls and frenzied risings. Perhaps all these swings will mean that our children will be the most resilient generation, learning to pivot and adapt and thrive in any circumstances.
My younger son scoffs at the idea of New Year’s resolutions or goal setting; he sets goals throughout the year, not just in January. I am the same way; throughout the year I add goals or concepts or mantras that I want to live by, and then I start right away. However, it’s nice to lay them out in January, feeling like it’s a fresh start; at the least, January is a good time to reflect on past goals and future ones. There’s nothing quite like a brand-new calendar to make you feel fresh and rejuvenated.
OKAY, CALENDAR, I’LL TRY.
It must be said that the majority of my goals are completely unquantifiable. Not all of them – I’ve had “buy a new bra” on my annual list for YEARS and finally, last year, I bought not only one, but THREE, STRIKE IT FROM THE TO-DO LIST – but most. How do you measure “mindfulness,” for example? I like having unquantifiable goals, though, because they are things that you can always keep in mind and work on throughout the year, and easily add to. Over the next couple of weeks, I am going to lay out some actually quantifiable goals that I work on daily. I mean, what else is there to write about in January? The never-ending feelings of despair that come from nearly two years of pandemic life? The fact that my teenagers will never experience normal high school life? The worry that my sons’ activities that they love will be cancelled? The concern about their education and preparation for adult life? NO. I’ve written enough about that. I’ve thought enough about that. We have all had enough.
Anyway, for today, I want to talk about the concepts and mantras that I use for everyday living.
Embrace The Season
Back in *checks blog* June 2021, I was inspired to Embrace the Season, by an incredible woman who has since passed. Rest in peace, Melanie. I think that Embracing the Season that you are in is probably the best way to go through life; you are here, this is now.
There are wonderful, joyful, inspiring things happening in every season of our lives, yes, even this one, yes, even though it’s actually minus 28 right now. It’s Winter, both literally and figuratively, let’s treat ourselves like favoured children, like our most loved ones. Right? Right.
Bloom Where You Are Planted
This goes with Embracing the Season. I’m planted here, in this city, and this is where I’ll bloom. I can make things better one tiny step at a time; I can do this with my yoga classes and my interactions with people, friends and strangers alike, I can make my yard and home into something beautiful, I can write things that will hopefully reach people in the way that I intend. I’m going to bloom, damn it.
Does anyone remember the old poem called You Learn? It was sort of about breakups and relationships, and I read it as a teenager. Back then, it was deeply meaningful to me; I’m pretty sure I read it after a breakup. Oh, the fires of youth. Anyway, there is a line in there that I have remembered lo these many years, and it was Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. Let’s plant our own gardens, and we can bloom in them.
Friluftsliv
It feels very appropriate to talk about Friluftsliv when it’s MINUS 28. I first discovered this concept in the fall of 2020, and I have adopted it in my life. It’s a Norwegian word that means, roughly, outdoor living, and goes with the idea that there is no bad weather, just bad clothes. I like to tie Friluftsliv in with Embracing the Season and Blooming Where You Are Planted because this is where I live, and where I live is more often cold and unpleasant than not. I go for a walk every day, no matter the weather, and I can tell you that dressing appropriately is the key. With proper clothing, even minus 30 is doable, with the bonus that I feel like a hardy Norwegian superstar afterwards. This segues nicely into…
Hygge
I absolutely love the concept of hygge – am I spiritually Danish? Maybe. – because what could be better than coziness and warmth in the winter? I see lots of books and warm drinks and baking in my future; not that this is a change for me, but still. Hygge.
Gratitude and Awe
Sometimes it’s easy to have feelings of gratitude and awe; maybe the sky is brilliantly blue and the trees are covered with snow, and it’s a perfect scene. Maybe my family picks up some of the household chores without being asked, gratitude, gratitude. Maybe we will get an email from the school that says the kids are going back – too much to ask? Maybe.
Several months ago I was listening to an interview with Giselle Bunchen, of all people, and she said that she practices gratitude daily; when she has a plate of fruit she thinks of the farmers, of the sun and the rain that helped the fruit to grow, the people who pick the fruit, the person who drove the truck to the supermarket, and the people who work at the supermarket. When you think about it that way, an apple can seem like a miracle. Then I was reading Wake Up To The Joy In You, and there was a paragraph about the miracle that is a book: the process to make paper, the years of perfecting the printed word, the writer who wrote the book, and the miles the book has travelled to be in your hands. When you start thinking about life that way, everything is miraculous. It takes practice, but I’m trying.
Pandemic Reading – The Year Long Books
A Year With Rumi. I did it! I finished this! I did consider, very briefly, not finishing, but then the day after I posted about it, the poem of the day was The Guest House, which is probably my favourite Rumi poem (the bar is kind of low), and I took that as a sign to keep going. 365 poems and just a handful resonated with me; apparently I’m not a Rumi person. “Is it because he’s a man?” my son asked me. Maybe?
Wake Up To The Joy In You. I loved this book of meditations so much that I think I will re-read it in 2022. I read one chapter a week and then kept the meditation in mind throughout the week. I cannot say enough about this book; it’s an incredible journey of self-care and self-acceptance and self-love, and what could be a better thing to start the year with? I mean, look at this last chapter. EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO READ.
Pandemic Reading – The Regular Week
How To Be A Victorian. Good lord I am glad to live in the modern age, even with a global pandemic and the polarization of our population on literally every topic. AT LEAST WE HAVE WASHING MACHINES. And food. And toilets. And central heating. And pretty much everything else. This book is an incredibly well-researched book about daily life in the Victorian age – the author has lived and worked on a “Victorian farm” and I admire her commitment to detail. Corsets, skirts, brushing her teeth with soot. Going without water-based washing for four months. Eating suet, SUET PEOPLE. Anyway, some chapters dragged for me and others were fascinating, particularly the home remedies and medical chapter. Oh! And the air quality in Victorian London was so gross – pea soup fog, no proper sewage…yay for the modern age! There is a passage about the pea soup fogs of London; at the worst of times you could wave your hand in front of your face and not see it. IMAGINE. Anyway, thanks to my friend Jeni (HI JENI) for the recommendation. Talk about gratitude. I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE, I SWEAR.
The Relatives. I was really interested to read this as I have been mixed on Gibb’s books. I loved Sweetness in the Belly, but did not love This Is Happy – sorry to all of you who adore that book. I really liked The Relatives, a lot. In fact, I devoured it. Such an interesting cast of characters, all interrelated but unknowingly. I am going to give some trigger warnings here for…a lot of things? Infertility, child neglect, abuse, and a lot of kind of gross imagery. But for all that, I really enjoyed this.
Love and Other Words. This was so disappointing for me. I really like this author and I really do like a nice, light romance, but this just didn’t do it for me. It dragged so much and I had a hard time caring about the characters and the story line. Blah blah blah. Anyway, not for me but on to the next book!
I feel like this post has been a bit of a journey for me, since I started writing it. I am still low-level worried and anxious and sad about school, but we are here, we are together, we’ve come this far and we can keep going. Right? I mean, let’s think about the Victorians. We have running CLEAN water, we might be facing Covid but we have vaccines and medical care and, presumably, we are not going to all die of cholera, because of the running water. My kids are at school, not in a sweatshop doing child labour, and today I’m going to bake muffins and do laundry and neither of those things will require massive amounts of physical exertion. Life is good, even when it feels a bit disheartening. How are you feeling, this New Year? Tell me everything. xo
Hahaa thank you for this, Nicole. Whenever I feel myself sliding this year, I’m going to think, AT LEAST I’M NOT VICTORIAN!!! 💜💜
I have been saying that since I finished the book. AT LEAST I’M NOT WORKING TWELVE HOURS A DAY SEWING. At least I have a toilet.
I’m struggling a bit, for reasons I can’t go into here or on the blog, and it’s a snow day (on what was supposed to be North’s first day back) and you know how I feel about those. But at least I have indoor plumbing and I won’t be brushing my teeth with soot today, so there’s some perspective.
I do know how you feel about snow days, and I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Big hugs to you.
Yay for toilets! Yay for clean water/ no cholera!
Currently feeling all the feels.
The kids were supposed to go back to school tomorrow, but it will be at least the 10th before they return. The premier said today that things are still on pace for that schedule but…like you, I just feel tired of it all.
The last week has been so good. The twinkle lights. The slower pace. Both my husband and I off work. But then tomorrow I have to get up and start sending real e-mails to real people and engage my mind and I’m just not sure how I’m going to do it?
The kids are basically stuck at home right now (we’ve had the sniffles; all testing has been negative – but some other friends have tested positive, so we’re not even meeting outdoors for play right now)…and it still feels “heavy” just like it did in 2021.
But…but…but. We have a warm house, and plenty of food, and internet (thank heavens – I would lose my mind without internet), and jobs, and clothes and so much. It does feel hard and sad (I’m sad my son has never gone to school where he can cross-mingle with friends in other grades, or meet his teacher without a mask)…but the kids seem healthy and happy and sometimes the only way through is through!
So onward I go…albeit with a steady limp.
I can’t imagine what this is like for the little people. My friend teaches kindergarten and says that the kids don’t remember non-pandemic life. It’s all so hard, all of it.
1) I’m so sorry that you and your kids are going through this back and forth re: school. Our local schools reopened today with absolutely no mitigation strategies on board – no distancing, no masks. I’m nervous, but we have lost the fight at the local level.
2) I had a goal to buy a new sports bra last year and I ALSO BOUGHT THREE. Magical.
3) I immediately put “How to be a Victorian” on my list. I love the idea of reading about the minutiae of every day life in the past.
4) Love and Other Words is the best of the Christina Lauren books I’ve read. I actually kind of liked it and have had major problems with her other books. Have you read any of her other books?
I’ve read a few of Christina Lauren’s books and I really enjoyed them, so I expected to enjoy this one. Oh well! I think you’ll really like the Victorian book – some things drag in it (or did, for me) but so much was just fascinating. And the research that the author puts in…it’s incredible.
I just love your mix of optimism and Real Life This Is Happening descriptions. Your posts are both comforting and inspiring (and also make me laugh, a lot) and I appreciate you so much. Your goals sound excellent and I look forward to hearing how they progress.
(UGGGGGHHHHHH to remote learning. UGH.)
Now I am going to go run some laundry and spend some moments engaged in abject gratitude for my washing machine.
I LOVE YOU, WASHING MACHINE. I LOVE YOU, STOVE. These are things I have been saying over and over. Also, I love you, toothpaste. Imagine brushing your teeth with soot and a toothbrush made out of pony hair. I can’t.
Re: school. Deep breath, deep breath, we can do this.
My kids have gone back to school in a district that isn’t doing distancing (actually, it’s worse than that: they REDEFINED what social distancing was, so that they could SAY they were doing it while not making any changes) and isn’t requiring masks or vaccinations. My kids are vaccinated and wearing masks, but I am so anxious about this. It feels very unsafe to me. Also remote learning was terrible. So I don’t know what I want. No, I do: I want the school to require Covid vaccinations (JUST AS THEY REQUIRE SO MANY OTHER VACCINATIONS), and I want them to ACTUALLY distance the students, and I want them to REQUIRE MASKS, and I want them to REQUIRE WEEKLY TESTING, and I want them to make ANY EFFORT AT ALL to make changes to lunch so that it’s not just kids sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with their masks off!!!!!!!! *pant pant*
Meanwhile my workplace has put up new guidelines that are sensible but, as far as I can tell, undoable because they are unsupported by the necessary financial structure: if any employee has a member of their household test positive, the employee must be out of work for 10 days; if the employee themselves tests positive during those 10 days, the 10 days starts over from then. This is a good policy! Except our workplace does not have paid sick time (or rather, I think some of the upper employees do have some paid sick time, but they certainly don’t have 10-20 days of it). So the employee is to be out of work for, say, 20 days, but unpaid. Who…like, who can do that? Does this not give a TREMENDOUS incentive to NOT TEST? and/or to LIE? *pant pant*
But I am also grateful for my appliances and my toothpaste and my canned flavored seltzer and so forth. I am grateful that I can get things shipped to me. I am grateful that although I am often chilly, it is not the kind of chilly described in the Little House books. I was at the dentist the other day, and like most people I hate going to the dentist, but I was lying there feeling so GRATEFUL to have someone working on my teeth. I cannot scrape my OWN teeth with metal implements and expect good results. I cannot see the tiny beginnings of decay in my OWN teeth. It is not so very long ago that I could have expected to have quite a few of my teeth GONE by now.
Halfway through this comment I stared into space for a while. No masks. No distancing. No vax. What even. Vaccines are not mandatory at our school but they are highly encouraged, and masks and distancing ARE mandatory. Although, my sons say distancing is really hard in a school of 2300 during class change.
I am giving those workplace guidelines the side-eye.
I have low level anxiety about many things. People who have been very cautious now have Covid and while they said the break has been extended, what happens after Friday?? I’m trying hard to take it one day at a time. We have trips planned but I’m not hopeful, my kids ARE resilient but also said the thing they have learned the most over the last year is not to count on anything. Sigh.
We had a trip planned for March, we planned it last year after we started getting vaxxed and now…well, we are cancelling. One day at a time.
Nicole, these kids ARE going to be a resilient bunch after all this…how could they not be? I so admire your upbeat attitude and you are an inspiration. And gratitude…oh my, we have SO much to be thankful for.
I sure hope they are! I do worry about it, but what can we do?
I often think WHAT DID I DO BEFORE AMAZON OR GOOGLE? I agree, so much to be grateful for. I haven’t gone that extra mile and compared my life to the lives of those living during the Victorian Age, so thanks for pointing that out. In really cold weather, I do often think of the homeless. Here we are in our cozy homes, and the homeless have so many struggles. Our friends started a nonprofit and they deliver food and other necessities like toothpaste and winter hats to the homeless in Chicago. They drive around and deliver things personally. We are doing what we can to assist them with their efforts.
You are a breath of fresh air and funny to boot. I so enjoy your perspective and your uplifting approach to things. Sorry that school is not opening on time, I so hope that that is a temporary situation for you. We are still feeling like Reg is suffering from not starting high school in person. Finding and making friends has been tough since he started high school. He’s very focused on basketball right now, so his social life isn’t so stressful. *Sigh*
I hadn’t thought about it, but I do agree – our teens and young adults are going to be able to muster through anything, right? I plan to get a copy of the book Wake Up to the Joy of You.
In answer to what am I feeling this New Year – I’ve been bracing for school to start up again. Long story, but I have added some little people to my daycare. I’m maxed out. I don’t always get to read blogs when I’d like, but after a very rough morning with multiple babies crying for extended stretches, I am GRATEFUL to have three littles playing quietly while I get to read your blog. One day at a time.
Remember looking things up in encyclopedias??? I was thinking about that the other day. Or, finding research books in the library, or microfilm? Thank you, google, for existing.
If you want to feel good about your life, read a Laura Ingalls Wilder book. Or a book from the Victorian era. 🙂
I don’t honestly know how people did it. I’m always thinking about menstrual periods. Like, how did women navigate them in those heavy dresses? DURING THE SUMMER.
“Spiritually Danish” would make an excellent book title or band name.
I loved Wake up to the Joy of You!
I’m also loving poetry at this stage of my life. Mary Oliver, Rupi Kaur, Walt Whitman….WHO AM I? Is the pandemic going to turn me into Laura Ingalls Wilder? Ooh, I can’t wait to read the next chapter…..
During the summer would be the WORST part, omg. I often think of chamber pots, how you would just…pee in your room. And then sleep with the bowl of pee in your room.
Is that the avocado bookmark I gave you?? It must feel amazing to complete a yearly goal like that. That calendar is beautiful! And yes, yay for flush toilets!
YES IT IS. I purposefully use it in that book so I can look at it and think of you. xo
I know how you feel about making it through this pandemic that never ends. Some days I feel like the last leaf on a tree branch that’s hanging for dear life, and all it’d take to knock me loose is a strong wind.
I need to get out my copy of Wake Up to the Joy of You and read a chapter a week. You turned me on to that book so thank you.
Last leaf on a tree branch is SO apt, Ally. That is exactly how I feel some days. xo
I’m sorry there has been so much tumult with school closings and things being canceled. Florida likes to pretend the pandemic does not exist, so there are no mitigation strategies in place here. At the very least, take comfort in the fact that your government actually cares about the kids and teachers and wants them to be safe. (<– Which I know you know! I'm not saying you don't!)
I really love the idea of gratitude when it's broken down into steps like you mentioned. Not only being grateful for the thing and the ability to get the thing, but also every step that had to happen to make the thing happened.
The Victorian book reminds me of a book I read in December called Birth: The Surprising History of How We're Born that delved into the complex history of obstetrics. It will make you VERY grateful you were not giving birth in a time when doctors did not even wash their hands when going from patient to patient. !
I, too, did not enjoy that Christina Lauren book, but really like all of her other stuff. There was just something missing!
I put that Birth book on my to-read list! I do love a book that reminds me that LIFE IS GOOD IN THE MODERN AGE. You know, even with the covid-plague.
I have so enjoyed your past two posts & finally commenting. I admire how you embrace the positives. I practice gratitude daily and it’s had a huge impact on how I deal with challenges. I suspect that you bring joy to everyone that crosses your path. So sorry about the schools being shut down again. It’s so hard on our kids.
I love the Meditations book & think I’ll buy it. What a lovely way to start a day. The one you shared was written about you!
May I respectfully suggest you travel as planned? We can practice safely anywhere and other countries are often more diligent than Canada. We are in Panama right now – there are almost no cases, everyone wears masks. When you go into a restaurant they spray your hands with antibacterial (so it’s not optional). I feel very safe (plus planes are finally cleaner than they have ever been). Oh , and it’s warm! Of course we all make our own choices on what we feel comfortable with.
I think you’ll really love that book, Pat.
I guess what I’m worried about with travel is that someone will test positive before or after leaving, and that will delay our leaving/ return. I don’t know. We are going to wait a bit before cancelling and see what’s what.
I understand your concerns. For us we are both semi retired/self employed so really, if we get delayed then it’s no big deal, we will manage. Our friends were supposed to be traveling with us for a coupon of weeks. She has a really busy job – they cancelled because of those concerns.
*sigh*
With all these comments, I am glad, at least, you have some commiseration… it has been too much, for too long. Cheers for loose fitting clothes, indoor plumbing, and electricity, and whatever other magic makes it possible for us to reach out and communicate with each other! I am savoring the many good points and ideas you are sharing, and I thank you for your thoughts. (And in case no one’s suggested it: I love the BBC series with Ruth Goodman, on historical living… Edwardian, Victorian, Tudor!)
Oooh, someone told me about that series and it sounds really good! Thanks, Natalie!
“everything is miraculous” Is a beautiful and thoughtful way to see things because in reality, everything IS miraculous.
Gratitude is the very best thing for all of us, because yes, washing machines, clean air, medicine and running water.
I SO hope your boys are back in real school soon. It didn’t really dawn on me until you said something along the lines of “They’ve NOT have a proper high school experience.” High school here is four years, so yes, if two of them are in a pandemic, it wouldn’t be a norma experience. *sigh* I can only hope this does make their generation more resilient than the last.
Sending you big warm hugs for all you’ve said today.
Also, I opened up your page, read the first two lines, then I got a notification on my watch that I just received a comment from Nicole on my blog. WE ARE READING TOGETHER, but separately because of you know, distance. 🙂
Awww, it’s like we are having a coffee date together, but, you know, really far apart!
Ah, so much here. First, about school. We have no new restrictions here, but last year my son missed HIS ENTIRE SENIOR YEAR of high school. It was so sad! I really felt terrible for him. But… he’ll be okay. This generation will be more resilient and able to adapt than we are. We grew up with nothing really bad or unusual happening, so we’re spoiled.
‘Bloom where you’re planted” is one of my favorite sayings. My family doesn’t appreciate these inspirational sayings as much as I do, but I do have a little sign hanging in the hallway that says “Bloom” and every time I pass by it, I mentally add “where you’re planted.” Heh heh.
I’m seriously ordering “Wake Up to the Joy in You”. right now! Thanks for the inspiration.
Well, if life in the Victorian age doesn’t put things into perspective, hardly anything else will… haha… but honestly, I am so sorry that schools are closed again. I know that this is the ONE thing that you were most worried about. Ugh. But isn’t it the truth – how resilient the generation of your kids will be. Hopefully. Hopefully resilient and not just bitter about the stuff they “missed out on”. Sigh.