Category Archives: Hello Calgary

The Opposite Of Extreme Makeovers, and a Giveaway!

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Lawsy, I’ve been busy – relatively speaking – since returning from vacation. It’s amazing how much piles up after an eight-day hiatus from the homefront. I’ve been multi-tasking like a motherfucking riot; taking the boys to the playground while mentally composing posts, responding to constant “fun facts” about animals while making 16 litres of tomato sauce, preparing frantically for my solo trip to Saskatchewan while photographing plates of tomato-based dishes. Did I mention I have a whole lot of tomatoes in my possession? My mother-in-law supplied me with “a few” tomatoes; “a few” meaning “fifteen pounds”. It’s a good problem to have, all these sweet and delicious tomatoes.

Although it’s been warm here the past few days, there is a slight change in the air and I realized there are only three more weeks of summer vacation left! Cherish every moment goddammit. In addition to cherishing moments and tomato preparation, I am also beginning my usual August routine of thinking about back-to-school items and festive things like snowsuits and boots. The children are sweltering as I force them to put on their boots and mittens to ascertain fit and what is needed for the imminent winter. In Calgary, you never know. WINTER IS IMMINENT PEOPLE. Cue music of doom; perhaps an instrumental version of Patio Lanterns or maybe The Devil Came Down To Georgia.

The music of doom was also playing in my mind as I found myself in the mall at 5:00 on Saturday night. Unfortunately earlier in the day I was getting my old grey mare roots coloured, necessitating the late-afternoon mall shop, which is – as we all know – is the most spirit-crushing time to attend to all your shopping needs. Why is that? Why are there so many crowds, screaming children, rude people, and despondent employees at that time? And why do I never learn? There were two lights at the end of this tunnel of consumerism: Sport Chek had sales on running shoes, which I liked since we had to buy the boys each two pairs, and we had dinner at the food court, which is the kids’ favourite, as I have undoubtedly mentioned before. A teenage girl and her boyfriend sat at the table next to us, along with this cute fellow:

Speaking of the old grey mare and giant orange bears, I decided that I was going to make a dramatic change in my hair colour, and so I took this photo to my hair therapist, who looked at me quizzically. “Okay,” she said, “But it’s kind of the colour you already have. It’s pretty similar.”  No no! I said cheerfully, explaining that I wanted something more coppery. She made a change to my formulation, coloured my hair, and…it’s marginally different. Dramatic overhaul fail.  It looks pretty much exactly like this photo, taken poolside last week, pre-colour. Note: my dad makes this exact same face when he’s thinking, leading me to believe once again that I am an actual younger, female, and artificially red-haired version of him. Thanks for the grey hair genes, Dad!

It’s giveaway time! Prize yet to be determined but sure to be awesome. Or at least kind of fun. Leave a comment and let me know what you’re up to this August. Or what colour your hair is. Or at what point in the year do you start thinking about snowboots? Ah, who am I kidding – leave a comment about anything and I’ll enter you in the draw. Name to be drawn August 22!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: Summer Loving Had Me A Blast Edition

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My roses are blooming, and that is not a euphemism of any kind.

Well, maybe it’s a bit of a euphemism. I came across this hilarious piece about ludicrous things said by yoga teachers, and thank goodness none of them have ever been said to me, because “Let your anus blossom” is something no one should hear, ever.

Do I look like a flower? A blossoming one?

When I was a kid, I loved the book Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott, and the follow up book, Rose in Bloom. I still love it – it’s a charming picture of a privileged 19th century New England family – except there is one teensy onion in the ointment, a wedding between two first cousins. Ew. Still, I like to gloss over that part in my head. Lalalala. I can’t hear you!

This is probably a strange segue into Nicole’s Favourite Things – Summer Edition. Incest! Blossoming anuses! Let’s move on!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: Summer Edition

For those of you new to the Boy House, I like to periodically talk about some of my favourite things, things that are making me feel happy these days. This is not sponsored and I have not received anything free for writing these posts – I’m just sharing the love for things I think are fabulous.

My Garden

We had a tree taken out this year, and in its place my husband planted grass seeds. I’ve been carefully watering the little patch, which I refer to as “his grass”. It’s “his grass” and “my flowers” and every year I dig out a little more of “his grass” to make room for “my flowers”.

The rose bush that I planted a few years ago is now covered in blooms, and is very popular with my neighbour’s bees:

Bzzzzz….look at those bees go! My neighbour’s bees are also responsible for the most delicious honey I have ever tasted.

I know I should pull it out, but I find it charming how this one sprig of yarrow has found its way into the blue sage.

Colour Me Beautiful

This may shock and stun some of you, but I’m trying to add colour to my wardrobe. Colour! To my wardrobe! And not just to keep the mosquitoes away – most of the radioactive mosquitoes in Calgary seem to have died off, happily – but because I find I get a startling number of compliments when I wear colours. I guess I’m a whore for compliments, but I have to think maybe they are on to something. Don’t get me wrong; black is still my go-to, but I’m trying here, people. I’m trying.

Yes, this is a recent picture. Sweater, jeans, scarf. Summer in Calgary!

Beauty Products

I’ve recently discovered Organix hair products, and I’m in love. My hair – my overprocessed, heat styled, sad sack hair – really loves the Coconut Milk and Biotin and Collagen lines. I highly recommend them if you have a close relationship with hair colour and dryers, and also if you like sitting out in the sun with no hat on.

 
I’ve also recently discovered L’oreal Colour Riche lipstick in Sienna, and may I suggest it for anyone looking for a nice daytime neutral?
 
 
 
 Here’s me having a good hair day due to Organix, and also wearing L’Oreal Colour Riche in Sienna! Wait. It’s kind of depressing to have all these sweater shots. Here’s one from today – I’m wearing a tank top because the temperature is over 20 degrees, yayyyyy!
 
 
 Also using Organix and wearing my new BFF lipstick.
 
 
I tried to duckface just like all the young girls are doing these days, and it’s immediately apparent that a) I’m not a young girl, b) duckface is unflattering and makes me look like a 50 year old smoker, and c) I also strangely look like I have a moustache. Which I don’t. Immediately after taking this photo I ran to the bathroom armed with tweezers just to be sure.
 
This is supposed to be about my favourite things! Not about my very unattractive duckface. Moving along.
 
Summer Food
 
It’s berry season! Well, I guess it’s berry season all the time somewhere in the world, but currently it’s semi-local berry season. Hooray! I’ve been eating giant bowlfuls of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries every day for weeks. I also like to use them as dessert garnishes, on top of waffles, pancakes, and this amazing coconut French toast, and with lemon mini-cakes and coconut whipped cream. I’m also loving the summery excuse of “heat” to just have salad for dinner, which is my favourite. Check out my recipes for pasta salad, quinoa salad, and Greek salad here.
 
Because I’m not ALL about shameless self-promotion, let me tell you about Dinner With Julie’s Cinnamon Bun Pancakes. I made these the other day even though they are not vegan and are really more of a delicious dessert, and they were absolutely amazing. I had to cut down on the sugar due to my husband (he’s sweet enough! Awww.) and still they were incredible. Try them, you’ll love them. If you love cinnamon buns, that is. If not, this probably isn’t the recipe for you.
 
So tell me, lovelies, what are your favourite things about summer? xoxo
 


Summer, So Far

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Because of all the flood craziness around here, it feels like it’s been months since the kids were in school, when in reality it’s only been, officially, four days. It has been sunny, warm, and dry here which I am hoping will expedite the death of the billions of gargantuan mosquitoes in the city. The mosquito situation was crazy before the flooding; now they are epic. They seem to really love my bootiliciousness since they bite right through the seat and back pockets of my jeans. Forget the wisdom of wearing long sleeved shirts and pants to avoid getting bitten; these babies are so desperate for my apparently super succulent blood they go through sweaters and thick denim. My friend Nan mentioned that mosquitoes are attracted to dark colours – specifically black – which explains things somewhat. In other words, I need a whole new wardrobe. Watch for my new look, which will consist of pale pink items bought from Northern Reflections.

We headed up to my parents’ lakeside place this weekend, and on the way I saw a billboard advertising the World Plowing Championship. Before you think this is something pornographic, let me hasten to assure you that the World Plowing Championship involves tractors and other farm machinery. I immediately imagined something akin to the tractor scene in Footloose, involving non-Kevin-Bacon-like individuals. I wonder who are the winners of past World Plowing Championships and if that title is something that grants the holder of special privileges. Very special privileges, if you know what I’m talking about. I imagine this ratchets up the datability of the title holder in certain circles.

We had a fantastic weekend at my parents’, and now we are all somewhat petulant about being back in the city. My dad said something this weekend that struck me as fairly accurate, in terms of travelling with children: kids pretty much enjoy any holiday, wherever such holiday takes place. The majority of my childhood summers were spent a) visiting relatives in southeastern Saskatchewan, and b) attending Bible Camp. Neither of those things may sound all that thrilling, but I always looked forward to them with great anticipation and enjoyed them thoroughly. Spending my days with my cousins in the outdoor swimming pool that had myriad dead bugs floating in it, being evacuated due to severe prairie thunderstorms, were nothing except fun. Playing in the ice-cold lake and making crafts out of crosses and going to chapel morning and night, that was the height of summer camp enjoyment for me.

I think of my own lucky, lucky children and wonder what kind of summertime memories they will have. I wonder if they will remember the hours spent playing with a fishing rod with a stick tied to its line, christened “Sticky”, and how they made up a game and enormous backstory for humble Sticky. I wonder if they will remember how we spent our first day of summer vacation in the pool and I neglected to reapply sunscreen and they got their first (mild, I hasten to say) sunburns. I wonder if they will remember how I frantically sent their father out to drive into town to buy the cortisone cream that I forgot to pack when it was evident one of my children was having a weird allergic reaction to…something…and was covered with angry, raised red hives, and then their father got stuck in one of those severe prairie thunderstorms, unable to see the road in front of him, hail pelting the car. I wonder if they will remember the water gun fights, the trips to town with Grandma and Grandpa for ice cream, the small-town Rotary Club Canada Day celebrations. It occurred to me today that it might not be much longer that they want to play in those bouncy structured supervised by the glummest looking teenagers ever – in fact, one day perhaps they will be those downtrodden looking teenagers telling kids to slide down feet first. It’s hard to imagine.

It’s the end of the school year as we know it (and I feel fine)

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Hello there! It feels like a long time since I’ve posted, so I’m hopping right back in the saddle. Things have been busy around here. I’ve oscillated from overwhelming love for the city and all the generous and kind people in it, and overwhelming despair that it will never be enough, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to help. It’s a silly feeling because of course change is the sum effort of individuals, and every little bit matters, and with that attitude I bake more cookies and muffins, buy more diapers, offer to do laundry, etc., etc. Things are improving, but it’s taking time, of course.

Because of the flood school was cancelled until today, which is a half day merely to say goodbye, clean out desks, and pick up report cards. It was very strange to go back to school today; almost as strange as not being in school for four days just before summer vacation.

 
 
As usual at the end of the school year I’m a little verklempt at the thought that they are now FINISHED another grade, in this case Grade Two and Three. On the one hand, it feels like all the awesomeness of having older kids, who I am closer and closer to launching into the great big world, and I feel like I’m doing well with preparing them for that. On the other hand, time makes you bolder, children get older, I’m getting older tooooooooo….
 
A while back I read this fantastic post by my friend Swistle that really summarized how I feel. It’s ALWAYS the Best and Worst of Times is extremely apt when talking about children, right? There has been some discussion lately about favourite ages and least-favourite ages and I can say, firmly, that I don’t have a favourite or least favourite. Part of this is because I don’t remember the stages very well. I think this is due, in part at least, to extreme sleep deprivation over the years 2004-2010. You would think that such sleep deprivation would lead me to say that those years were not great, but you would be wrong. Such memory lapses means that I can be like one of those sweet old ladies who only remember nice things and not the horrible ones. Sure, there were gross diaper blow outs and incessant crying and no sleep and terrible worries about introducing vegetables before fruits and would that ruin their eating for the rest of their life OMG he is trying to eat playground gravel. But there was also this:
 
 
 

And this

 
Also this
 
 


Actually, that last picture reminds me of the baby screaming while I tried to bathe him and the very young toddler falling off the stool while trying to help and everyone crying and…well…I like my biggish kids very much.

In any case, we can’t stop time so we may as well enjoy it! Here’s to another great summer!

Reasons I’m Losing My Mind, or How Did Lee Garner Jr Make You Hold His Balls?

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There have been, strangely enough, tornado warnings around here.  Tornadoes!  Where AM I?  In any case, yesterday the rain held off all day until the moment I had to leave to pick the kids up from school.  I stood in the playground, in a torrential downpour, while I waited for them.  The rain tapered off and the sun came out five minutes after we arrived at home.  I cannot help but feel somewhat slighted by Mother Nature.

Ah, June in Calgary.  The sky is pitch black and the house is completely dark in the middle of the day; this in spite of the fact that the sky is bright when I get up at 4:45, and the sky is bright long past my bedtime.  The local meterologists swear that the average June temperature is 20 degrees Celcius, but to my mind of thinking, the meteorologists are either in possession of some very flawed data or they do not know how to calculate an average.  There is no way the average temperature can be 20 degrees Celcius, I demand you show me your data source.  These are actual thoughts that go through my head every time I see a weather forecast.  It is possible I have lost my mind.

This derangement is also apparent with regards to my feelings about my neighbour across the street, who has in recent weeks set out a collection of garden gnomes beside his front door.  I am tempted, every time I look out the window, to run across the street and steal one, and then take pictures of it in various locales and costumes, leaving photographs in his mailbox.  I think about this all the time.  It’s not a passing thought, I seriously consider what kind of clothes I could dress the gnome in, how I could take him to Menchies’ and photograph him with a fro-yo with gummy bear toppings, how I could strap him into the front seat of my minivan and take him for a ride. 

What is wrong with me?  I also find myself giggling uncontrollably when I think about Mad Men and the scene with poor pirate-y Ken, talking about Chevy, and the pain-in-the-assedness of clients in general.  “A client once cupped my wife’s breasts,” says Jim, helpfully, immediately followed by Roger’s earnest statement, “Lee Garner Junior made me hold his balls.”  WHAT.  Wouldn’t you love the backstory on that one?  It’s just so random.  The conversation is so casual, yeah, this guy sexually harrassed my wife, oh, and this guy made me hold his balls.  How does that happen?  What sequence of events have to occur before a guy holds another guy’s testicles, and how does that come up in casual conversation, like it’s totally nothing?

Maybe it’s the end of school looming near that has me collapsing in near-hysterics about everything.  I don’t know how else to explain it, but this article about embracing the furry au naturel look rather than waxing has me laughing until I cry.  Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the furry au naturel look, although for me personally I would be more likely to don a knee length, sleeved, 1910-era “bathing costume” than my regular swimwear while brazenly displaying a lack of a bikini wax.  What can I say, I like my esthetician. However, this has nothing to do with – as a young man quoted in an article suggests – heightened expectations due to pornography viewing.  Women of the world, take note: if a man has an expectation on how you should look in the nude based on what he’s seen in pornographic films, then probably he is not a man you should consider sleeping with.  It’s all fun and games until he wants you to pretend he’s the pizza delivery guy.  I mean, that might be fun and all, but if his entire outlook about the female body is based on porn, then he’s probably watching too much porn.  

But why am I laughing until I cry, as I mentioned before?  It’s because of this quote, and honestly, TRUTH SISTA and fist raised in the air:

“I think most guys are so delighted that they’re about to get laid they wouldn’t notice if you had a full-on Zach Galifianakis-style beard down there.”   

Something about the term “full-on Zach Galifianakis-style beard” makes me think of the dog-beard trend, but with Zach Galifianakis in a Michael Douglas-esque, um, situation.



My best attempt at dog-bearding.  Even Barkley thinks I’m lame.
 
 

Denim skirts, non-Mama-Duggar-style

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If you can’t beat them, join them, is the somewhat defeatist attitude I took up this weekend when I went shopping to Lammles’ Western Wear.  I am a Calgary girl, I’ve lived here my whole life, and yet I just can’t get behind the concept of western wear.  This is an attitude I felt needed adjusting, since I always have a few Stampede events to attend every year, events that become more and more important to attend as my children get older and embrace the Stampede spirit.  One such event is the school’s annual Stampede Breakfast, which is coming up in less than two weeks and at which I am going to be flipping pancakes.  I have two items of clothing that regularly come out at Stampede: a straw cowboy hat, and a denim shirt dating from 1997.  I felt that my Stampede “look”, such as it is, needed an update and that is how I found myself in Lammles’.

Now, I’m no Tom and Lorenzo, but I did feel a little part of me die a little as I looked through the racks of ladies’ wear.  Everything was either a) too colourful, b) too plaid, c) too see-through, and/or d) too covered in rhinestones to suit my taste.  If I am going to pay $60 for a shirt, I would like it to be one that I wear more than a couple of times a year and that doesn’t make me look like I’m competing in the barrel racing competition, given that I am not actually a barrel racer.  I found what appeared to be a plain black button-up shirt, but on actually taking it off the rack I discovered that it was covered with rhinestone lassos.

I was feeling rather disconsolate about the whole experience, and then I saw an item that had my name all over it:

It literally has my name on it!  So how could I refuse?  It’s a denim skirt, by the way, not in the style of Mama Duggar but this:

Cute, I think.  Plus, it’s called a NICOLE.  I figure I will get some actual wear out of it, unlike a rhinestone-lasso-encrusted shirt.

I got home and realized that my closet runneth over, but fortunately I had also lost track of what day it was, and that I had a clothing donation pickup scheduled this week.  This, accompanied by the realization that the clothing pickup was for TODAY, gave me great motivation to go through my closet and purge 3 (garbage) bags full.  I was filled with a bit of disappointment in myself and my consumerism – does anyone need so many clothes? – and became ruthless in my purge.  There was none of the oh, maybe I’ll wear this again, this is kind of cute, it doesn’t fit well but it’s still in great shape feelings I normally have.

The other thing of semi-importance that happened this weekend: my husband briefly activated the multiplayer setting on our Wii, which led to our family becoming torn apart.  It was probably the single worst idea in the history of our family’s video games.  The kids have played multiplayer in Mario Kart and Wii Sports, which is evidently VERY DIFFERENT from the murder and death that came from multiplayer Star Wars Force Unleashed.  By the end of the afternoon all three of the boys, including my husband, were not on good terms, and I was miffed that no one wanted to be Johnny to my Baby in Just Dance.  It was not the time of my life, let me tell you.  I instigated a rule that never again would the multiplayer setting be activated, and peace reigned in the Boyhouse galaxy.

Nicole’s Favourite Things – Spring Edition!

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It was such a long, cold winter, wasn’t it?  Snow on the ground from October solidly through April, but I tell you this: May has been absolutely stunning in YYC.  I keep expecting snow in the forecast every day, or at least hard frosts, and yet it’s been warm and beautiful.  It feels like spring, but not Calgary spring – regular actual spring! 

And so it’s time for the Spring Edition of Nicole’s Favourite Things!

My Garden

On the fourth of May, this is what my front yard Mayday tree looked like:

This is what it looks like now:

Leaves!  Flowers!  All in a nine day span, which is not great for the allergy sufferers in the house, but it sure is pretty.  Speaking of pretty:

This is the prettiest the Nanking cherry has ever looked.  Usually the buds freeze before the flowers come out and/or the flowers get blown off by gale force winds, but not this year.  I’m soaking up every second. 

I know people in other parts of the world have had lilac bushes, the blooms of which have already come and gone, but look at the adorable little buds on my lilac:


There are many, many other exciting things happening in my garden right now, but if you are NOT a gardener, you may be falling asleep with boredom at all my squee flower talk.  Moving on. 

Embracing Colour

Well, kind of.  I was shopping with a girlfriend who just so happens to have gone to design school and has a fabulous sense of style, and she practically forced me to buy this top, which I was unsure about, but now I love.

IT’S SO COLOURFUL!  I feel a little bit peacock-y in this outfit, but my husband informed me that I am now no longer allowed to shop without my friend in tow.  Hope she doesn’t mind her new career as my personal stylist.

I also wore a blue – BLUE – scarf to my 20th high school reunion.  I don’t know if it’s spring fever or what, but all this colour is going to my head.


Anyone else feel like I need to clean my bedroom mirror?  Seems a little dusty.

Mascara

I am a sucker for different formulations of mascara, and yet I don’t actually notice a difference between any of them.  None of them transform me into a Megan Draper lookalike, possibly because I don’t look anything like Megan Draper and also she has fake eyelashes and professional makeup artists and she’s a TV character, not an actual person.  Anyway.  I did buy this mascara called “The Falsies” and although I was at first disappointed with it (see also: non transformation into a TV character) the more I use it the better I like it.  My husband snapped this picture of me on Saturday night and I can actually notice my eyelashes in it:


Spring Food

I am in love with everything berry and green these days, so I’m enjoying these recipes I have up at Yummy Mummy Club: Green Goddess Bowl of Goodness, Overnight Coconut French Toast, and Lemon Mini-Cakes with Whipped Coconut Cream.  Fun fact: that last recipe is a vegan riff on my dear friend Hannah’s famed Lemon Muffins. 

Mother’s Day

I’m not hugely invested in Mother’s Day, but this weekend my boys gave me homemade cards and hugged me approximately one zillion times.  They also had a blast playing in the sprinkler, which NEVER happens in May! 

 
 


That series of photos just makes my heart happy.

Ground Control to Commander Hadfield

Commander Hadfield is the BOMB.  I have never been a person even slightly interested in space.  In fact, one of my strongest memories from Grade One is lying to the teacher of the gifted enrichment program about already reading a book about a dog who becomes an astronaut because, hey, books about space?  Snore.  I think they gave me an equally snore-worthy book about a dog who dug a hole in a garden but whatever.  At least I didn’t have to read about space.

But here comes the amazing Canadian Chris Hadfield and suddenly I’m completely obsessed.  I can’t wait to watch him come home tonight, with the kids.  Is there anything that man cannot do?  Plus, his song Is Somebody Singing makes me tear up every time I sing it (which is often, in the shower).  The kids sang it for Music Monday and it was just so special.

This Fabulous Spam Comment

Anonymous wrote: I don’t even understand how I stopped up here, however I believed this put up was good.  I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger in the event that you aren’t already.  Cheers!

Anonymous goes on to post his/her website entitled “tits movie”.  Oh boy!  Thanks Anonymous!  I sure hope you’re right, and I think I’ll just go click that link now.