Category Archives: Fashion

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Summer Solstice Edition

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If my life lately was a cartoon, it would be illustrated with one of those daily calendars, and the pages would be flipping through in fast-motion, flying off into the wind. Time seems to move quickly the older we get, but this past month has been absolutely insane. Not only are we moving next month, but one month from today we WILL BE MOVED. I will be IN my new house, probably unpacking boxes. Right now that feels impossible but it’s true.

Anyway, June is flying by and there are a lot of things that I loved, and that made my life significantly better this month.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Summer Solstice Edition

What’s A Yeti?

I cannot see the word “Yeti” without instantly thinking about the clueless woman at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, who spent forty-five minutes surrounded by Yeti-related material only to be astounded at the existence of the word Yeti, lo these many years ago now. What’s a Yeti? Anyway, for Mother’s Day this year the guys gave me two insulated Yeti cups, which are perfect for keeping any cold drink cold. They are intended to be for white wine, but they work great for any beverage, particularly, in my case, a nice gin and tonic or a flavoured sparkling water.

Since our new city is very hot in the summer, I anticipate using these a lot while I read on our beautiful deck.

Dog and Bowl-erfly

Rex is not a dog who is made for the heat. Or, even the slight warmth. Basically, if the sun is shining and the temperature is above about fourteen degrees, he gets hot. He’s a Winter Dog for sure; on warm days he enthusiastically runs and rolls at the dog park, and then droops for the three kilometres it takes to get home. May and the first part of June saw a stretch of unusually hot weather, and that coupled with my concern about how Rex will handle our new city had me searching for solutions. Solution number one: walk him as early as possible in the day. Solution number two: always carry water.

I bought this silicon dog bowl that is foldable and hooks onto my belt bag. I feel a bit like a much-less-cool Sherpa, what with the waist leash and a water bottle jammed into my bag and then a bowl hanging off that same bag, but it works.

All Hail The Kale

Since we are leaving in peak garden growing season, the only vegetable I planted this year was kale, as it is an early harvester and one that just keeps growing after cutting. We have had three really big cuttings of kale already, and a fourth one is going to happen this weekend. I love kale. I love it. I love it in all forms but one form that is extremely popular in my house is the kale Caesar. I use this dressing (thanks to Birchy, HI BIRCHY, for the recommendation) and I massage it into the kale about half an hour prior to eating. Garden kale is so much more tender than grocery store kale, but I still think it is a good idea to let the dressing sit for that time.

Rainy Days and Mondays

As I mentioned, it was much hotter and drier than normal for about six weeks in May and June, and I was experiencing a weird cognitive dissonance. Personally, I love hot and dry weather. It’s my favourite. I was, on a selfish individual level, very happy to be outside in the soft air and sunshine, wearing only skirts and tanks. However, the part of me that has concern for other people and the world in general kept whispering this is really bad. The northern part of the province was suffering from wildfires, grass was crunchy underfoot, and it felt honestly a bit apocalyptic. It’s Calgary, and we did not have one day in May in which the temperature dropped below freezing, nor did it snow. This is weird.

Things took a turn last week, and I could see it in the photos taken of me and my ladies at our final yoga classes. Monday afternoon, we were all in tees and capri-length pants, some ladies in shorts. Thursday morning, we were all in sweaters and jackets and long pants. It’s been very rainy and chilly – two days ago I had to pull out my light winter coat and gloves to walk Rex, the temperature did not get above eight degrees – and while I don’t LIKE this, it does feel more normal and less like We Are All Going To Die In A Fiery Inferno That Is Our World.

Which brings me to rain gear; on days that I don’t need to wear a winter coat in June, I am loving this cute little raincoat from Lululemon. It’s pushing it for Calgary – I have a lined raincoat that I wear more often, and this is not lined – but in my new city, it will be perfect for rainy days that are not also freezing cold. Did I mention that it was eight degrees for a high? On June 20th?

What do we think of Hunter boots? I don’t find them super-comfortable for walking, but no other footwear is so effective at keeping my feet dry. Plus, I feel at one with the spirit of my birthday twin, QEII, who used to wear Hunters to muck around in the stables. All I need is a plaid hair scarf.

I Was Influenced Dot Com

A few months ago, I saw a sponsored post on Instagram that showed a woman wearing “the most comfortable jeans ever, the only ones I travel with!” This woman was doing cartwheels and yoga and even the splits, and I was kind of fascinated. Because I looked at the post for all of thirty seconds, rather than half a second scrolling by, my algorithm immediately changed and I was inundated with advertisements and sponsored posts for Mott and Bow jeans. Every time I logged onto social media, there it was; a post with a woman talking about the most comfortable jeans in the world. They were really cute, too, and I was especially intrigued because my current jeans were not the most comfortable jeans in the world. In fact, they were becoming less and less comfortable as time went on.

I have mentioned before that I have been strength training to, as my kids say, stave off The Osteo, and a side effect of gaining bone density is that I have also gained a very juicy booty and thighs. My current jeans could not contain all this lusciousness, and I was just feeling very uncomfortable and unhappy in them. It’s one of my rules that I need to feel happy and beautiful in all my clothes, and so I was again thinking about the woman cartwheeling around in her Mott and Bow jeans.

And I will say that buying jeans online is a pretty risky business, especially for a Canadian dealing with exchange rates on already fairly-pricey items. I went to the website, selected a cute pair of skinny jeans, and filled in their size calculator, at which point my suggested size was exactly the same as that in my current jeans. I was skeptical, however, I was also desperate for jeans and held my nose and jumped off the high diving board. The jeans arrived and IT WAS A REVELATION.

Never have I experienced jeans like these. The fit, despite my deep skepticism, was perfect. They are cute and flattering and so very comfortable. Rex and I decided to showcase this comfort with some downward dogs.

Now put your leg up, Rexie! Good boy.

I immediately ordered two more pairs: another skinny and one that is called a “boyfriend” jean.

So I guess there are two lessons here: one, Instagram ads really do work if they hit you at the right time in your life, and two, if the jeans don’t fit the body, change the jeans.

Outfit of the Month

Speaking of comfortable clothes, my favourite outfit this month is so comfy and cute: a tee shirt dress!

My son and I went out for dinner while my older son and husband were at the new house, and I wore this super-comfortable, super-cute tee shirt dress from lululemon. It was a bit chilly so I paired it with tights and boots – these boots are actually Sorels, and are unlined and perfect for rainy or wet weather. If I had a denim jacket I think it would be perfect for this outfit, but I don’t, so I’ll accessorize with my favourite fuzzy black-and-white item.

There are so many things that are getting me through this month of transition – I am a person who likes to be organized and neat, and my house feels like it is exploding around me – but a month from now, everything will be…well, it will still be kind of a disaster. But eventually things will be neat and organized again, and in the meantime, why don’t you tell me what your favourite things were this month? xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Scary Hair Affair Edition

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If you have been reading this for any amount of time, you know that I am staunchly Pro-Aging, that I have been working to embrace my aging, perimenopausal body, and for the most part, I have succeeded. There is one thing, however, that has caused me a great deal of angst and embarrassment, and that is hair loss and thinning.

I will tell you honestly that I really hesitated before writing this post, because for some reason I can talk about my periods and my drooping breasts and my rounding tummy and how I needed to buy Always “Discreet” for high impact activities, but when it comes to my hair, I feel a great deal of shame and embarrassment. This should not be the case because thinning hair is a very common occurrence for women of my age and older. It’s probably way more common than we think.

If I am going to be totally honest, I am probably more prone to it than many people because I can distinctly remember my paternal grandmother wearing a wig when I was young. I do not have genetics on my side, people.

I have had a fraught relationship with my hair my entire life; it’s a very sensitive and touchy subject for me, and the reasons for this could fill an entire book, let alone a blog post. Suffice it to say that it’s important to me to have nice hair, and last fall things were at an absolute low point, hair-wise. I was cleaning out my hairbrush every day and every day there would be a handful of hair in there, I noticed all my hair ties were looser around my bun than before, and just the act of pulling my hair into a bun revealed places where my scalp was visible. BALD SPOTS. I was developing BALD SPOTS. Listen, no woman in the world wants to go bald, and I was particularly upset about this, for all of the above reasons. I knew something had to change.

There are three main causes of hair loss: dietary and nutritional deficiencies, stress, and hormonal changes such as those experienced during perimenopause. I knew my hair loss was due to the latter; I wasn’t under any undue stress, my diet is very rich in vitamins and nutrients, as well as sufficient calories, protein, and fat. I take multivitamins daily without fail, plus supplemental biotin, and I have done this for years. I knew it was a hormonal issue, I just wasn’t sure how to solve it. In desperation, I threw everything at the problem but the kitchen sink, starting six months ago, and I am happy to report that my efforts have really paid off. My hairbrush only yields a few strands a day, my hair ties are snug, and, best of all, my bald spots, while not perfect, have really started filling in. Here’s how I did it!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Scary Hair Affair Edition

From The Inside Out

The biggest and most effective treatment I have undertaken is Nutrafol, which is a supplement specifically designed for women in perimenopause and menopause. I usually skip through advertisements on podcasts, but I had listened to a few about Nutrafol and I was very curious. I have been taking it for six months exactly, every single day, and let me tell you, it lives up to the hype. I could see a difference after only one month, and now, six months later, the difference in my hair health, fullness, and thickness is significant.

There are downsides, of course. One of them is that a daily dose is four capsules, which feels like a lot of capsules. The capsules themselves have a bit of a weird aftertaste, although – like the smell of Ilia skin tint serum – this is something I have gotten used to and barely notice anymore. The biggest downside, however, is the cost. It is EXPENSIVE, particularly if you live in Canada and hence have to deal with the exchange rate and international shipping. That said, there is usually a podcast discount code available, and I have just received my second six-month shipment into which the company added a full-sized shampoo and conditioner as a “free” gift, so I do think it is worth the expense. If I am choosing between buying what amounts to an expensive supplement, and bald spots, I am going to choose the expensive supplement every time.

November 2022
May 2023

From The Outside In

In terms of data collection and experiment integrity, I made a mistake. I started using scalp serums at the same time that I started Nutrafol, so who knows what effect, if any, they have had. I’m going to guess Not Much, but I am still using them. I think they probably add slightly to my root density; in any case, they don’t hurt, and are not overly expensive.

I love The Ordinary products in general – they are really good value – and I have been using this serum on my scalp before bed every night for the past six months. I worried it would make my hair oily, but it really doesn’t. It is supposed to encourage regrowth and density, and maybe it does? Who can say.

I like this Bondi Boost Intensive Spray; I use it on my scalp after I wash my hair, which is every two to three days, depending on the week and it’s activities. I do think it boosts root volume, but again, I have no idea if it helps with density and regrowth. It smells nice, which is a huge selling point in my book.

Wrap Star

I have been meaning to write about microfibre hair wraps with buttons since August 2020, when Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) recommended them. She recommended it, I immediately bought it, and now, only thirty-three months later, I am telling you about it.

I used to just wrap my hair in a regular towel, but this is so much gentler on my delicate-flower hair. Because of the button in the back, it stays on perfectly while I do my makeup, rather than slowly flopping over as a towel is wont to do in my hair.

Brush With Fame

A while back, San (HI SAN) mentioned a brush that she used to detangle her hair. I looked at the photo and was skeptical. The brush just seemed so…pokey. San assured me that it really did work and while the brand of brush she uses was exorbitantly priced in Canada (WHY, CANADA??) I found a similar one for what I consider to be a reasonable price.

I have to tell you that San was right, it really does work. It detangles without pulling, and although there are always a few strands in the brush, it certainly helps with breakage.

The Breakup With Breaking Up

I know that putting my hair up into a bun is hard on it in terms of breakage, but I just can’t quit doing it. I need to be able to teach without my hair falling into my face, if I’m exercising or gardening I like to have it tied back for convenience, sometimes it is so windy here that I need to have it contained while walking the dog, so that it isn’t whipped around into little knots.

I threw away every last one of my old hair ties, because I often found little broken-off pieces of hair in them. I bought two different kinds of Goody brand hair ties for my bun, and they work like a charm. Very rarely do they have pieces of hair in them when I take my hair down.

There are two items in my hair wardrobe that 2000s Nicole would have been appalled at, but 90s Nicole could not live without: scrunchies and claw clips. To be fair, I have been using scrunchies to hold a messy bun for my workouts for probably five or six years, who knows, the pandemic left me with no sense of time. I, like everyone else with long, spiral permed hair, wore them all the time back in the early 90s, and it was a mental hurdle I had to leap to let them back into my life twenty-five years hence. I will say that nothing works quite so well for exercise AND is gentle to brittle locks than a scrunchie, and since I am past the age of really caring what’s in fashion, I may just use them until I am in my grave or have been scattered over the ocean or have become human compost or, less dramatically, have cut my hair into an age-appropriate bob.

The claw clip though: I never thought I’d see the day. Not since my university days have I worn one and never did I think I’d wear one again, but here I am, in high-waisted jeans and a claw clip. What’s next, crop tops? Spaghetti-strapped floral dresses with baby tees underneath? Denim vests? PALAZZO PANTS?

In any case, claw clips are a cute and easy way to put my hair up quickly when needed, and there is no breakage involved.

Outfit of the Month

In a still hair-related anecdote, albeit not of the mane variety, Friday morning of the long weekend I decided I NEEDED to get body sugaring done. I decided I could not wait one more day. I was surprised and grateful that there was one appointment left that day – did I mention Friday of the long weekend? – and I snagged it. I zoomed over in between bouts of gardening, and my Sugar Lady greeted me with a “Wow, look at you! You look so hip and cool!” Me? Cool and hip? This isn’t something I usually feel and I laughed and said that I was just in my gardening outfit. My Sugar Lady told me that I should consider myself a Hot Gardener, and now I think that maybe everyone needs a cheerleader like my Sugar Lady in their life.

These jeans have made many appearances on this blog and in my life, and that is because I have had them since 2008. They kind of look like it too, but they are so comfortable. The Talk To Me Goose tank was a gift from my husband before the screening of Top Gun: Maverick. You all know how I feel about Top Gun, and if you don’t, let’s just say I have taken many life lessons from that movie, as well as the sequel. It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot! Never fire unless fired upon! You, asshole, you’re lucky to be here!

Well, we are all lucky to be here, thinning hair and all. As I said, I really hesitated prior to writing this but ultimately, I wanted to say that if you are also experiencing hair loss and thinning, please know that you’re not alone. I feel your pain! It really is an upsetting thing to experience, but there are products out there that can help, at least to some extent. If you have any products or experiences to share, I’d love to hear them, as always. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The 48 Feels Great Edition

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I had a moment of birthday-related epiphany this past week. When I was pregnant, way back in the day, every single change in my body was noted and celebrated by me. Every pound of weight gained, every change in my skin and hair, everything made me so happy. I was lucky enough to never have morning sickness or any other nauseous unpleasantness; I did have aches and pains, and I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in my first pregnancy, but in all cases I took it in stride with joy. Oh, so I have to be on bedrest for weeks? Okay! Maybe I’ll watch some movies! These were my actual cheerful thoughts when I had the potentially deadly preeclampsia diagnosis, which just goes to show how thrilled I was to be pregnant.

I was thinking about my happiness with my changing body during that time of my life, and how a changing body doesn’t elicit that same level of happiness during other stages of life. It’s not fair, really. Why should our bodies not be celebrated in the same way, just because the boulder is rapidly rolling down the fecundity hill? Change is part of life, and just because those changes that come with age are not valued in the same way by our youth-obsessed, patriarchal society, it doesn’t mean they are not worthy of celebration. Why is a waistline expansion cheered when one is pregnant, but not when one is in perimenopause? Both are natural occurrences and both involve hormones and shifting times of life. If anything, perimenopause should be cheered even MORE. We’re here! We made it! Not every woman experiences pregnancy, and not every woman experiences perimenopause, but not experiencing the latter most often indicates that the woman did not live long enough to do so.

I turned 48 last week, and although I hope to live to see triple digits, there is a decent chance that the number of years I have ahead of me is fewer than the number of years I have behind me. I don’t want to dwell on the past but good god, I wasted a lot of time in so many ways. So much time worrying about really pointless, stupid things. I mean, life’s a journey, all our experiences shape us into the people we are today, etcetera, etcetera, but still. I can’t get that time back.

I’ve been triangulating toward this for a while, but I feel like I’ve gotten to a point where I wish to fully embrace – or at least, pleasantly accept – my changing body. I refuse to waste any more time thinking about it except to nourish it in every way; joyful movement, joyful food, joyful serums and beauty products. Fashion trends are absolutely not meant for my demographic, and so I will curate my outfits with my own personal style, without thoughts to what’s in style. Joyful Nicole Style! That style will not include wide-leg pants. I have been there, done that, and the young people can laugh at skinny jeans all they want, but they’ll pry them out of my cold, dead hands.

I feel great at 48; I, like Goose, feel like I’m lucky to be here, and I would like to share with you a few things that made my birthday month shine.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The 48 Feels Great Edition

Spiritual Gangster’s Paradise

There is a little clothing boutique beside the Kihei Caffe (if you know, you know), and while we were standing in line for the best breakfast in Kihei, my husband saw a very cute tank top on display. You need this shirt! he said to me very seriously; one thing led to another, and now I have it in my possession. Did I need another workout shirt in the form of an early birthday gift? Probably not, but the material is so soft, it doesn’t look sweaty when it is sweaty, and it just makes me happy.

Pre-workout.
Post-workout, and boy, is my face red.

Great news, you do not have to travel to Maui to proclaim your spiritual gangsterness, (although, it’s not a bad incentive); you can buy a number of different styles online. They are a bit on the expensive side, but the material is quality and I think it’s going to last a long time.

Sugar, Black Honey Honey

I finally joined the Black Honey party, only a couple of decades late. Black Honey by Clinique is touted as a lip colour that flatters every skin tone, which seems like a tall order to me. It reminds me of the time Victoria’s Secret was giving out thongs as a gift with purchase, and when I told them my size, the woman assured me that she didn’t need to know it. These thongs were “one size fits all.” What. How is that possible?

And you might be thinking the same thing, how can one lipstick flatter ALL skin tones? Well, I don’t know. I cannot speak for every woman; I am no Whitney Houston. What I can say is that, by looking at the actual product, I did not think this would work for me, but it DOES. Does it flatter every skin tone? I don’t know, but it flatters mine. It’s a very natural-looking colour and I love it.

Mentioning the Unmentionable

Speaking of thongs, or panties in general, about once a year or so I go through my underwear drawer and throw out anything that is worn out, ripped, or in a state that is not even fit for “Ladies’ Holidays.” We all know that I like a good outfit, and I think that a good outfit starts with good underwear. This might be an Information Overload situation, but I always match my panties to my bra – which isn’t too hard since they are almost exclusively black, with a couple of so-called “nude” items for light coloured bottoms or dresses – and I like them to be pretty. Yes, they have to be comfortable and functional, but they must be pretty or I won’t wear them, not even to bed, not even to exercise, not even during my period.

I love the products from La Vie En Rose, which frequently have promotions for bulk buying panties. I just took advantage of one of those promotions, happy birthday to me, and I cannot even tell you how happy it makes me to know I have pretty new panties on. Life is too short for ill-fitting, ugly underwear.

Even I shall not show photos of my panties on the internet. Behold, my dresser.

Opening Pandora’s Box

Many years ago, when I got my first Pandora bracelet, a friend of mine excitedly said “This is so great, now your family will always know what to get you for your birthday!” This turned out to be a very prescient comment. I now have four Pandora bracelets, and I have never purchased a charm for myself. For my birthday my parents gave me this gorgeous heart charm, and if you have a magnifying glass you might be able to see the words “Love Forever” etched on the tiny heart in the middle.

Isn’t it lovely? These are my two “everyday” bracelets; every single charm means something special to me.

Nailed It

Before our Maui trip, I wondered what to do about my nails. I didn’t want to waste precious liquid carryon space for nail polish, but the polish I love simply doesn’t last that long. With winter and hand-washing and general dryness, polish tends to chip within a few days for me, at best. I decided to give Sally Hanson Gel a try; it goes on just like regular polish and as a bonus, it dries really quickly. But the biggest benefit is that it LASTS. For me it lasts at least a week, and sometimes up to ten days.

My nails after 8 days of wear.

Outfit of the Month

Since the majority of this month has been spent cleaning and decluttering, my outfits have been pretty plain and simple: tees and sweaters with jeans. And rubber gloves.

However, I wanted to dress up a little on my birthday for my brunch out on the town, and also just because.

I have mentioned these pants many, many times. They are the City Sleek line from lululemon; they have a button and zipper and yet feel like soft pants, which is pretty much the most we can ask for from pants. The boots are Sorels; they are not winter Sorels as they are unlined, but they are waterproof, so perfect for spring. Or, “spring,” as we say in Calgary. The sweater is from lululemon, and I always think of it as new, but as I wore it for our holiday card photo in 2018, it is not. The tank top underneath is a basic Old Navy, and it is at least as old as the sweater. My friend Amy (HI AMY) made that mala years ago, and I love it.

It’s Taurus season, everybody! Thank you all for your very sweet birthday wishes, and if there is something that you loved this month, do let me know! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Here Today, Gone To Maui Edition

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Aloha! I’m back from my digital detox which, as it happens, I took on Maui!

What a fabulous trip. We have been to Maui several times, the last one being in 2016, and it was interesting to see that it has changed very little from that time. The two main changes I noticed were that every single restaurant or eatery had a sign saying that they were short staffed – and there were many radio commercials about hiring opportunities all over the island – and that since October of last year, only mineral, rather than chemical, sunscreen is allowed on Maui. This is wonderful news for the coral reefs, of course, but also? I hope someone soon comes up with a mineral sunscreen that doesn’t feel like those neon zinc sticks that you would see on the noses of Australian lifeguards in the 80s. Mineral sunscreen, with its white streakiness and heavy feel, is not my favourite, but I love the fish and turtles and other ocean creatures, so I’m happy to comply.

Honestly, the whole trip was my Favourite Thing; it was our first big family trip since before the pandemic, and in my mind there is the possibility that this could be our last big family trip, at least for a while. My yoga ladies, discussing this with me, pointed out that as long as you’ll pay, they’ll go, which I’m sure is true, but timing and life might get in the way. In any case, it was a wonderful trip – definitely our last big spring break trip – with lots of great family time, sunshine, and ocean. What more could I ask for?

The re-entry to Regular Life has been a bit rough; we flew in on the red-eye, getting in at 7:00 am on Tuesday, in addition to being exhausted it’s been a scramble getting groceries, picking up Rex, getting organized with life, and remembering how to dress for below zero temperatures. Also, I currently have, according to my blog reader, 158 unread posts, so I have some catching up to do. In the meantime, I have to mention a few of my specific Favourite Things from paradise.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Here Today, Gone To Maui Edition

Fruit Is Nature’s Candy

Probably ten or fifteen years ago, there was a trend called the 100 Mile Diet, meaning that a person should strive to eat food that was produced within 100 miles of wherever they currently reside, mostly for environmental reasons. Well. As a person who lives in Calgary, if I did this then during the winter I would be Laura Ingalls in the Long Winter, eating nothing but bread and a single potato each day, and maybe, for excitement, some old cabbage. I have many, many issues with this kind of smug and judgy diet, which inevitably is created by someone living in California or some other gorgeous climate with lots of year-round produce. One such issue is that it has been proven that greenhouse-grown produce in cold climates use much more non-renewable resources than do trucked-in produce, so fuck you, 100 Mile Diet. However! When I am in a place like Maui, I feel like I COULD happily partake in such a diet because OMG THE FRUIT. The fruit! It’s all so good, being so close to the source. A pineapple that has travelled from afar in the winter just does not taste the same as those island-ripened prickly queens, and so I enjoyed delicious fruit each morning with my coffee, watching the sky brighten in the early hours.

Things Are Getting Skechy

In my youth I would sacrifice comfort for fashion, when it came to footwear, but I have no time for that now. Life is too short and too fun to wear uncomfortable shoes, but also, I want my comfy footwear to be cute too. I love Skechers; they consistently fit me well and I like how they look.

Every morning on Maui I would go on long walks, breathing in the ocean air and appreciating the palm trees and flowers everywhere. We stayed in South Kihei, which is a really active-in-the-morning place – EVERYONE is walking or running – so it’s pretty fun for people watching, as well as nature enjoying. I saw many yoga classes on the grounds of the fancy Wailea hotels, and thought hey, I could totally teach that. I would see couples taking photos of each other and I’d offer to take one of the two of them. One morning – at 8:30 on a Monday – I saw a wedding on the beach. I love my daily constitutionals – to borrow a term from my afore-mentioned ladies – and taking them alongside the ocean was just incredible.

In addition to these comfortable and cute walking shoes, I took these Skechers slide-on sandals for the beach and pool. Look at the sparkles!

Speaking of sandals, I also brought a pair of Skechers that were more appropriate for walking when I didn’t want the bulk of an actual shoe. They are so cushiony and strappy at the same time; I wore them when we went out for meals, and for our shopping trip to Lahaina, where I found a HAWAIIAN CHRISTMAS STORE at which I purchased two personalized ornaments, and then the shopkeeper actually said Mele Kalikimaka to me, and my life is now complete.

What, you can’t see the sandals? Yes, well. I thought I had a photo of them, but it turns out the only ones with my feet in them were group photos, so I did a little cropping. As an aside, that dress is a workhorse. I bought it in 2012, it’s from Prana, a yoga-wear brand which may be defunct, and it has a shelf bra. We all know how I feel about a shelf bra. Anyway, here are the sandals, tiny though this photo may be.

A long while ago, Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) posted about things she wished she liked; my comment to that was that while there are a lot of things I dislike, there isn’t anything that I WISH I liked. I am taking this opportunity to amend that comment. Flip flops. Flip flops are so cute, they are everywhere, and oh my god, the thought of having something between my toes makes those toes curl up and I start doing involuntary Kegels. I just cannot do it. I have been like this my whole life; putting flip flops on me is like putting boots on Rex. It is an unnatural thing and we cannot walk or even move under those conditions. I even have to do deep ujjayi breathing when I’m getting a pedicure and the esthetician puts toe separators on to do my polish.

You Can Leave Your Hat On

Even the heavy-duty sunscreen is no match for Maui sunshine, and so I wore a hat on my walks and while reading outside. This is not just for vanity reasons – I don’t want to look like an apple doll – but also for melanoma-prevention reasons. I wore this cute sporty hat from lululemon on my walks:

I also brought this ADORABLE, foldable hat that I bought on a whim from amazon, which ended up being the perfect travel hat. It has a wire brim which is easily reshaped after being mushed in a suitcase or beach bag. It also has a chin strap to keep it from flying off on windy days, of which we had few.

Hair Baby, There Mama

I didn’t have my hat on all the time, though! The boys taught me to body surf and boogie board, and you guys, it is SO fun. My husband said the whole time, I was laughing and smiling, especially when a big wave would carry me far up the beach.

It’s a family photo! Can you see?

Anyway, all that salt water and sun could have wreaked havoc on my hair, but it didn’t, because I used this:

I love Bumble and Bumble products generally, but this is beyond amazing. I think it really helped with sun damage – after twelve days of sun and salt water, my hair does not look like orange straw, which is a victory in itself. It’s pretty pricey, even for this tiny bottle, but the big Sephora sale starts next week, so I think I’m going to buy more in the larger size. We travelled only with carryon luggage – I will NEVER again check luggage, mark my words, the freedom of walking off the plane and not waiting for or worrying about luggage is glorious – and so this little trial bottle was worth the per-milliliter expense.

Outfit of the Month

I love getting dressed in warm climates. It’s SO easy. Maui is such a casual place that you can wear a swimsuit and cover-up to the grocery store and no one bats an eye. This is my favourite cover-up, it’s a cute little dress with pockets!

A word about swimsuits: up until about eight years ago, I was a big fan of the tiny bikini. It was around the time I turned forty that I realized that string bikinis were no longer suitable for a couple of reasons: a) my breasts resemble droopy water balloons that have sprung a leak, and b) the boys were at an age where I was no longer comfortable around them or their friends whilst in a state of extreme scanty-cladness. As well, I have enjoyed water sports with them as they have gotten older and more active, and let me tell you, a small bikini is a recipe for wardrobe malfunctions. I am still a two-piece suit fan for using-the-washroom purposes, but my bikinis have a lot more coverage and support. This is my new favourite:

Of the four bikinis I packed, I was surprised that this single-strapped one ended up being the best for boogie boarding and body surfing. It must be noted that my younger son looked at me strangely and said “Mom, are you wearing a BELT to the beach?” Yes, it does indeed have a belt attached, which feels silly but looks kind of cute.

I feel so fortunate that, after three years of cancellations and disappointments and general angst, we were able to take this trip. There are a lot of big changes coming to the Boyhouse, and this trip was what I needed to centre myself, to be present, and to really appreciate my family and my life. How lucky. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Love The Skin You’re In Edition

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Last June, I attended the social part of a conference my husband’s company was hosting at the Banff Springs; it was my first Major Social Event since before the pandemic, and I was so excited to go, dress up, and talk to as many people as possible. It was so much fun, and Nicole The Hug Monster was unleashed, which was a little bit unnerving after the fact as my husband received notification that one of the conference attendees was Confirmed Covid post-conference, but I didn’t get sick and neither did anyone else on my husband’s team, including him.

My favourite part about events like this is the social aspect, but also, I love to get all dressed up. Quite frankly, I felt really beautiful in my nice dress and my dark lipstick and my heels, but as I chatted with the other women there – all of whom were around my age or a few years older – I couldn’t help but notice something: they all had really, really gorgeous skin. Dewy, glowing, and smooth, their faces were lacking in wrinkles, particularly, and crucially for me and comparisons with my own face, on their foreheads. Normally I try to refrain from commenting on other people’s appearances, but we were all several glasses of wine in by this time, and I plaintively said they were all gorgeous, their skin was gorgeous, and what was their secret?

At this point they all glanced at each other and started laughing. “Oh honey,” one of them said to me, “It’s Botox!” Another woman said, “Honestly, the doctor’s office is the only way to go.”

Ah! I see.

I am not a woman with low self-esteem in any department, and I am satisfied with and confident in my physical appearance, but I will tell you this: at that moment, I felt somewhat akin to the Crypt Keeper. I did not feel great about my Forever Furrowed Brow and Eternal Eye Bags. I have, at times, briefly considered consulting with a dermatologist, but have always opted for not consulting a dermatologist. On a practical level, I cannot imagine scheduling appointments every four months and then paying hundreds of dollars each time just because my forehead reflects a lifetime of over-exaggerated facial expressions. On a philosophical level, I am staunchy Pro-Aging, I believe every year is a gift, and, as the saying goes, Erase Your Lines, Erase Your Life. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to have a frozen face that doesn’t move with me and my hands when I talk excitedly, I don’t want to have the same face at eighty that I do now, I hate that the patriarchal society we are living in wants to make older women invisible or, at the very least, does not value our beautiful faces in the same way that it does women half our age. Fuck all that, with age comes wisdom, wisdom is beauty, our gorgeous faces showcase our lives lived.

I do, however, want to look just a little bit less haggard.

People contain multitudes and I am no different. I also am well aware that nothing short of medical intervention is really going to change my appearance, and, deep down, I don’t want to. Unless I start filtering all my Instagram photos and conduct all social interactions from inside my own home, never leaving the house, the face I have now is what I am going to present to the world. Since that evening in June, I started been using a few products that, while not significantly changing anything, has at least slowed down my wrinkly trajectory. I feel not like a crumpled up paper bag; I feel like a once-crumpled up paper bag that has been smoothed over. The wrinkles are there and always will be, but they feel slightly blurred. Blurred lines! But not the weird kind. If you know, you know.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Love The Skin You’re In Edition

Mirror Meditation

In the early 2000s, my mother-in-law gifted me a subscription to O Magazine, and I absolutely loved it. Remember magazine subscriptions? I was so happy to get something fun and shiny in the mail every month, and my favourite part of O – other than her Favourite Things, on which I have based this very series for the past decade plus – was the Ask Val column, with beauty editor Valerie Monroe. Imagine my excitement, then, when Monroe was the guest on not one but two of my regular podcasts. She is in her seventies now and is truly inspirational with respect to her attitude towards beauty and aging.

One thing discussed on both of these podcasts was the idea of Mirror Meditation: this is looking into your own eyes in the mirror, with love, as if you are looking deep into the eyes of someone you love. “As if” sounds a bit odd; of course you should love yourself in the same way you love others, but of course, we are our own worst critics. If you are a woman in this world, then you have most likely spent your life being socialized to be dissatisfied and unhappy with your face and body. Anyway, I have been doing this Mirror Meditation every day, looking at myself with soft eyes and a loving expression and I am here to tell you that it is really wonderful. Try it! Look at yourself without thinking oh, I should do something about those roots, yikes, what is with my eyebrows today, ugh, I look exhausted…just look at yourself and think I love you. Does it sound kind of weird and hokey? YES. Does it work? Also yes!

ROCing My World

Something I really appreciated about the Monroe interviews was her attitude towards beauty products; her thought is that if you like the way a product feels, and you can afford it then why not buy them, BUT there are very few products that do anything close to what they claim to do. In other words, clinically speaking, there are very few products that actually do help to smooth out or minimize wrinkling or other features of aging. One such product is a prescription retinoid or, for those of us unwilling or unable to obtain a prescription retinoid, its off-the-shelf cousin, retinol. I have been using retinol products for a long time now, and in June I added ROC Deep Wrinkle Night Cream to the list.

I thought of including a photo of a new tube, but I wanted to show you how long this small product lasts: I am nothing if not consistent in my skin care routine, using it every night on my forehead since mid-June, and I still have some product left. I think this is great value for the money and although it is not some kind of Botox-miracle-substitute, I do think it’s helped my Furrowed Forehead. In any case, my forehead has not gotten worse.

Face Facts

My whole life, I have had fairly oily skin, but perimenopause has really changed that, at least in the winter months. I have started using Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint and I love it.

It’s very moisturizing, with a dewy, natural coverage, and it has SPF 40, which is important even in the winter months. I spend at least ninety minutes outside a day, and that adds up, sun exposure-wise. The only thing I don’t like about it is that it has a strange, medicinal kind of smell, which I attribute to the sunscreen. It’s almost like old-school zinc, in scent, but it’s a price I am willing to pay for soft, even skin.

Pack Your (Undereye) Bags

I have never been a person to wear undereye concealer; I have always found that it creased or became greasy-feeling midday, causing my eye makeup to gravitate downwards, which wasn’t just pointless, it actually exacerbated the problem. Hello, Rocky Raccoon Eyes. I had heard good things about this Ilia Vitamin C Serum Concealer, so I thought what’s the worst that could happen?

Well, the first time I tried it, I thought yes, this is the worst that could happen. To paraphrase Bridget Jones, it was like I had smeared the entirety of the white cliffs of Dover under my eyes. The product was pretty pricey, though, so I didn’t want to give up just yet. I tried again, applying immediately after I had put on my Ordinary Caffeine Solution; it worked like a charm, blending nicely AND de-puffing my undereyes.

Here’s me at 4:15 in the morning, completely makeup-and-product-free:

And a few hours later, de-puffed and “brightened” under the eyes:

Who Cares About Eyebrows?

For those of you whose eyebrows lived through the late Nineties, and all the plucking that occurred, I see you. I feel you. I am you. I was born with super-thick Brooke Shields-like eyebrows, that due to my youthful obsession back then with being eyebrow-current, have been decimated. Some of you may recall when I was eyebrow-shamed on Instagram, but at any rate, my eyebrows are patchy at best, and also still like to suddenly sprout thick dark hairs just above my eyelid or below my hairline, randomly, without any thought to where eyebrows actually are. To top it off, I have some individual eyebrow hairs that are going white, and if you think I am going to pluck those white hairs and add to the general patchy mayhem that is my eyebrow area, you have another think coming.

The white eyebrow hairs are what caused me to look beyond my little beloved brow pencil, and into Cover Girl Easy Breezy Brow. It’s easy! It’s breezy! It works like a little mascara, but for your eyebrows!

A word of warning if you buy this: scrape the brush off really well before use, and use a VERY light touch for a natural look. The first time I tried it, it came out a little globby and when I tried to fix it, I ended up making it much, much worse. I do not understand the mechanics here. When I wash my face at night, the product disappears, but if I try to wipe it off either with a soap-and-water-moistened tissue or an actual cleansing wipe, it makes my eyebrows look like they belong to Uncle Leo. How or why I cannot say, but I have learned my lesson.

All I Need Is A Miracle

I think this is an Aging Thing, but it is also a Winter In Calgary thing: my nails are a crumbling mess. This doesn’t happen in the summer and didn’t happen in my youth, but this is what my nails look like without any polish:

Yikes. I have been adding Sally Hansen Miracle Cure as a base coat, before polish and top coat, and it has REALLY helped. I think that nothing can really combat Calgary’s frigid desert air, but it tries.

Outfit of the Month

Other than the last couple of days, when we got a pile of snow and it’s been in the minus 20s, it has been a pretty mild February. I have only been wearing my really heavy sweaters this week; the rest of the month have been Light Sweater Days. Light sweaters, layered onto long-sleeve tees and, on teaching days like this one, yoga tanks. So, a light sweater with two other layers, that sounds like a Mild Calgary Winter!

This long tunic sweater dates from 2014 or 2015; it is from long-defunct-but-much-missed Jacob. The boots are my “light” boots, and the legwarmers are my “light” legwarmers. Those yoga pants are BRAND NEW (brand new being relative, I think I bought them in 2019, but they FEEL new).

A very, very common aspect of perimenopause, and one which I am experiencing, is a softer, rounder tummy. There are a plethora of articles about the dangers of what I am going to call A Little Around The Middle, and even more articles about ways to eliminate it, but you know what? I am not worried. I am not going to eat less than I do currently, or change my way of eating, and I am not going to exercise any more than I already do. I am strong, I am in the best cardiovascular shape of my life, and I also like my weekly dessert and red wine. If my tummy is a little softer and rounder than it used to be, well, so be it. I am going to OWN it. LOVE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN! And also, I am going to enjoy my long, loose sweaters and my elastic-waisted yoga pants. Therefore, this is my outfit of the month, and I love it. I feel great in it, I can remove the sweater and boots to teach in it, I can curl up on the couch and read in it. What more could I ask for?

Those are my Favourite Things this month – whew, there were a lot of them! But I’m celebrating me and what I look like right now. We have all been told our whole lives that we are not enough, we don’t look good enough, there is something wrong with our bodies or our faces, and I am here to tell you that is complete bullshit. You are beautiful, I am beautiful, changing bodies and faces are beautiful, soft tummies are beautiful. Let’s love the skin we are in. If you have any favourites this month, why don’t you share them with me? I’d love to hear all about them. xo

Boyhouse Year In Review 2022

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Happy Almost New Year! I hope you have all been having a restful and restorative week! I have been enjoying myself immensely; lots of sleep, puzzles, books, food, and wine. We spent a few days at my parents, which is always fun, and involves games and food and more wine.

As is usual at this time of year, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the year that’s passed and the year that is to come. One of the biggest benefits to having a blog is the ability to look back, and wow, have we come a long way since this time last year. Late December/ early January were an absolute low point; things were dismal. Happily, on our Roller Coaster of Life, things have been more up than down; so let’s take a look at what happened in the Boyhouse in 2022.

January

The New Year started off pretty bleak and grim, with winter break extended and all diploma exams cancelled, and to distract myself from complete despair I talked about my concepts and mantras I try to live by every day, the kids did go back to school and I decided to stop reading the news, I talked about actual quantifiable goals that I work towards every day, I talked about how much I hate filtered photos, how I actually thought about Botox, and how I was unfriended by a high school acquaintance not once but twice, and I had a roller-coaster of a week that included new neighbours, a cancelled trip, a mouse in the house, and a possible hoarding issue with macadamia nut milk. This month’s Favourite Things were of the Hygge variety, appropriately enough.

February

I talked about all the fun physical changes that come in one’s forties, including but not limited to moustaches and chin hair, I had massive gratitude for all the Galentines in my life, I showed you a Week of Winter Outfits (spoiler: lots of sweaters and legwarmers), and I talked about automatic car starters and marital mismatches. I also told you all about the daily choices I make to show myself some love.

March

All Covid restrictions were dropped, and I went to Costco and lost my mind, it was exactly two years since the pandemic started, and we celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, two years and one week in, we got Covid, and we eventually recovered enough to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary with a Banff getaway, and my son turned 18. While we were isolated, I talked about the things that made my recovery happier.

April

I talked about the juxtaposition of my desire to wave at every neighbour and my reluctance to talk to them and hear insensitive comments about Barkley (god, that was hard for me to read), there were many signs of spring in my life, Salvadore came into my life and brought so much gnome-related happiness, we had a massive snowstorm and I scheduled appointments like a boss. It was my birthday and I talked about 47 things I love.

May

I was absolutely exhausted from the neighbour’s construction, our internet went out for seven hours and somehow we all survived, we had a lot of snow and I went to the garden centre, I shared my Week of Spring Outfits, and my son had his high school graduation ceremony, dance, and banquet, none of which I thought would happen, and I am eternally grateful. At that point I stopped my Weekly Covid Count. I also shared with you my makeup routine, and included my 4:00 am bare face.

June

I lived on the edge and planted my tomatoes slightly early while the construction guys listened to Dick in a Box, I had a weird medical mystery, my midlife crisis manifested in me giving Salvadore an actual bubble bath, and I confessed to having Low Level Shame about ghosting my long-time hair stylist. I also joined my husband in Banff for a Fancy Conference. Well, I was there for the Fancy part, he was there for the Conference part.

July

On June 30, we said goodbye to Barkley, and we were all brokenhearted. We started off the summer with some visiting relatives from California – including my teenage pen pal – and our usual trip to the lake for Canada Day, I found solace in hiking, my garden, and cooking, and I also snapped at door-to-door solicitors, I talked about Cart Karma, I started a Big Project and Curated my Closet, and in the face of a Calgary Heat Wave, I shared my Week of Summer Outfits. It was also the Ten Year Anniversary of Nicole’s Favourite Things!

August

We went on vacation, I read a lot, I vowed to have Just One Backup of everything in the house and kind of failed, I got all nostalgic, my husband and I went to Mexico where I spoke broken Spanish and sang karaoke, and I read a lot more. Notably and for the first time ever, I travelled with ONLY carryon, and I can never go back, proving that YOU SHOULD NEVER JUDGE.

September

Life has its ups and downs, and to that end there were mice in the house and the boys drank our expensive Patron mixed with Dr Pepper, on the same day I cleaned my kitchen with a toothbrush, the Queen died, my son turned 17 and when I went grocery shopping I realized I had some kind of Psychological Long Covid, and I thought about house staging and photo filtering, and showed photos of my unstaged, unfiltered home. My son went backcountry camping and to distract myself from thoughts of giardiasis I talked about a variety of Favourite September-Related Things.

October

My son did not get giardiasis, but we had a number of run-ins with local wildlife, one of my students introduced me to the concept that Gratitude Is The First Step To Joy, and I listed off some of the things I am grateful for, Rex came into our lives and has brought us so much happiness, I shared my Week of Fall Outfits, I talked about body changes and the concept of “flattering” when it comes to clothes, and I prepared for Halloween like a crazy person. I also celebrated all things fall-related!

November

I rapidly shifted into Winter and Tiny Secret Festive Season, we celebrated our one-month Rex-aversary, I finished my Christmas shopping, I joined all the cool kids in doing a Day in the Life post, I revealed my longtime desire to join a flash mob, and my son decided to join the throngs of men who observe Movember. I talked about Christmassy favourites and just regular favourites.

December

We all started Advent calendars, and mine was a puzzle one, I went to an actual holiday party with actual people and actual fancy clothes, I answered your questions about the holidays, I took the car in for servicing and it was a huge ordeal, I revealed my favourite childhood gifts, and I celebrated my girlfriends. On Festivus I talked about my favourite holiday things and also how I jerry-rigged the furnace.

It has been quite a year! 2023 will be a year of change for me; I’m not great with change, and I love my life as it is, but change is part of life, so here we go! Time to jump in. Happy New Year to all of you. Thanks for being here on this journey with me. xo

Fancy Festivities and Friends

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Here’s Your One Chance, Fancy, Don’t Let Me Down. Back in September 2020, when the kids first went back to in-person school after lockdown, my younger son told me that just walking through the halls and being around so many people made him really happy. I had that same feeling on Friday when my husband and I went to his company holiday party. I couldn’t stop smiling, just seeing other people all dressed up and looking universally beautiful. We are at a PARTY, I kept thinking, a HOLIDAY PARTY and everyone is DRESSED UP. I have no idea if this feeling of abject delight and wonder is going to continue throughout my life, but I hope it does.

It was so much fun, even if I am so unused to wearing heels that my feet were crying by the end of the night. What are you doing to me, where are our comfy shoes, what is happening right now.

We stayed at the party until TEN THIRTY PM and I wasn’t in bed until an hour later, and did you even know there was an 11:30 AT NIGHT? There is! I had prepared for this exciting and unheard of bout of wildness by doing two things I never do normally: I had a nap in the afternoon, and then I had a strong, caffeinated chai at 4:00 pm. WHEEEEEEE!

Last week I had invited all of you, my dear readers, to Ask Me Literally Anything, and I have had so many great questions that I will be answering in the coming weeks. My wild Friday night brings me to a question Pat (HI PAT) raised: I, like everyone else, am fascinated by you 4 a.m. wakeup. When you are on vacation, perhaps at your parents place, your lake house or a sunny destination, do you alter your schedule a bit? Maybe stay up till 9:30 and get up at 5? Well, Pat, on weekends I do sometimes sleep until 6 if I can! One thing about me is that my body seems to have a natural wakeup in the hour between 4 and 5, but on weekends or holidays I can usually lull myself back to sleep for another hour or two. I do try to stay up later when we are on vacation or visiting my parents, because it’s a bit ridiculous to go to bed at 8:30 when everyone is having fun and playing games. I thought maybe I could sleep in a bit this Saturday morning, but my son had a wrestling tournament and needed to be up by six, and although he drove himself to the school and is perfectly capable of getting through his own morning routine without his mother, I was still awake and drinking coffee by 6:05. You know how it goes, people.

And You May Ask Yourself, How Did I Get Here? I will be keeping the form open, mostly because I don’t know how to close it, so ask any questions you like. On the other hand, if you’re thinking really, I already know too much, that is cool too.

One question I did want to address came not from the form but from multiple comments about my Day in the Life post, with regards to teaching and practicing yoga. Some readers expressed surprise that I would practice yoga and then teach yoga in the same day, but those things are very separate to me. My personal yoga practice is a moving meditation, where I flow through postures – the Ashtanga primary series, with some additions and subtractions – doing breath work and ending with a nice savasana. I get on the mat every single day, even if it’s just a five minute seated meditation; I don’t feel like myself if I don’t practice. Teaching, on the other hand, is a different story: it’s work. I mean, it is fun work, and it is work that I enjoy, but it is work nonetheless. I am always “on,” and talking, and watching my students for cues that something is working or not working for them. I don’t focus on my own breathing, and it is not meditative in the least, because I am generally thinking of what posture we are going into next and how to include variations for students with a variety of old injuries and concerns.

I have been teaching many of my current students since 2017, so I have a good relationship with all of them, which I especially appreciated on Monday afternoon, when I was teaching my Strength and Tone ladies. We were in the middle of a downward dog when suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, my nose started bleeding, like that of a long-term cocaine addict. Such a thing has never happened to me before while teaching, and I hope it never happens again. When I say my nose started bleeding, I don’t mean a little trickle. I mean that I had to pause the class and it took TEN MINUTES to get things under control. Ten minutes is a very long time to be stanching a nose bleed, let me tell you. Fortunately my students are very kind and understanding, and were willing to independently use my tennis balls for some myofascial release at the wall while I went through every single tissue I had in my purse, and half the scratchy, recycled material paper towels that the community centre had next to the sink. I give my students homemade chocolates every year at Christmas, and I may have dropped a few extras in for these ladies, to thank them for their patience with my dramatically bleeding nose.

This Year, To Save Me From Tears, I’ll Give It To Someone Special. Last week I was having couple of down days; I felt mired in anxiety and worry about my children and their immediate and long-term futures, myself and my ability to handle Life’s Next Chapter, and also drooping sadness because it felt like everyone I was encountering was somehow yucking my yums. Normally I am a Que Sera, Sera Person, moving through life thinking we are doing our best, things will work out in the end, all will be well, and not being overly concerned if people don’t share my feelings about silly and fun things, but I just couldn’t shake my gloom. Part of this may have been due to the fact that I was short on sleep: one of the CO detectors’ battery died in the very early hours, waking me up with its incessant chirping even earlier than normal, and also that my Garmin was telling me that “it’s almost that time again!” which generally affects my sleep as well, in addition to my mood in general. I didn’t really need the reminder from my Garmin. My feelings of despair towards humanity were reminder enough, not to mention my giant swollen breasts that were spilling out of all of my yoga tanks.

My very dear friend Hannah who I love very much (HI HANNAH) somehow knew how I was feeling and sent me this, while I was standing in line at the post office, which in itself contributes to angst and despair:

It immediately turned my mood around; it made me so happy, and feel so seen. On days that I don’t get enough Last Christmas, I have been pulling out my sheet music and playing it on the piano. I am enjoying the fuck out of it.

Then, I came home to open a package sent to me by my dear friend Elise (HI ELISE), and I think I may have blacked out with excitement for a moment when I opened it.

Longtime readers will remember my obsession with the Sears Wish Book, and you just cannot even begin to imagine how exciting this was to receive in the mail. How did I get so lucky, to have such incredible friends? What an incredible gift! Thanks Elise!

This One’s For Becky. Back to the subject of music, I was driving home from the grocery store, listening to 70s on 7 – HI SUZ, the only other person I know who listens to that station – and Coward of the County came on. Let me just say that a) my parents were big Kenny Rogers fans, and b) I know the lyrics to almost every song I was exposed to more than once from my very young childhood to today, which means that probably 90% of my brain is song lyrics. If I could free up my brain power from remembering all these lyrics, I could probably cure cancer or something. Anyway, I hadn’t heard Coward of the County for many years but I still cheerfully sang along. Wow, that is one upbeat tune, given the grim nature of the song. Gang rape! Murder leading to lifetime incarceration! Generational trauma! I remember singing this song as a small child, which is unsettling to think of. Small Nicole, with her little bowl cut and her 70s clothing, singing Folks just called him Yellow! Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.

I was likely singing and/ or talking in this photo, but it’s unlikely it was Coward of the County. Probably it was a Christmas song, or maybe just a stream of consciousness about the ornaments. Who can say.

Weekly Reading

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. This seems like a bit of a morbid topic – the death/ mortuary/ funeral industry – but it is actually quite beautiful in a weird way, about honouring dead bodies and death rituals. I have always wondered about things like expensive caskets and the like, in a WHY kind of way. This was fascinating but not for the squeamish! One of my nephews is interested in pursuing a career in this industry, and reading it helped me understand the motivation.

Thanks For Waiting. This was an interesting concept for a memoir, from the cohost of Forever 35, one of my favourite podcasts. Shafrir talks about being a “late-bloomer,” achieving all those life milestones much later than all her peers, from tweenhood on. It goes from life as a writer in mice-infested NYC apartments, to living and dating in LA, to marriage and the incredible heartache of infertility treatments. It’s incredibly honest and brave, and I could hear her voice as I read this.

The Holiday Breakdown. You know I love a holiday romance, and this was just so delightful and fun. I smiled the whole time I was reading this sweet story; the main character was so fun and charming. The author cohosts Were You Raised By Wolves (two podcast-host books in a row!) and I could feel her warm and delightful personality shining though.

I hope you have a lovely week ahead of you. Maybe some festivities, as well? If you have some Heel Worthy Events, may I suggest some prophylactical Advil? That is, if you can get it. xo