Category Archives: Embrace the Season

Fun Fun Fun

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I spent a lot of time by myself over the past couple of weeks, and it turns out that when this happens I end up pondering concepts that should be, in theory, fairly simple, but by the time I’m finished mulling things over, words themselves have lost all meaning.

I love delving into semantics as much as the next person, and so when I listened to a recent Ologies episode on, of all things, Fun, I ended up thinking about it for days. Days. I throw that word around like nobody’s business; I am always having fun, or saying this is so fun, or contemplating wouldn’t it be fun to have Greek salad for dinner? I have come to the conclusion that most of the time, when I think something is fun, what I am really saying is that it is enjoyable or that it brings me happiness or contentment, and that is not really the same thing as fun. If someone asked What do you do for fun? I might say something about gardening, or walking with Rex, or reading, or riding my Peloton. But are those things actually fun? I love them all, I feel joyful and happy while doing them, but I’m not sure if they can be classified as purely fun. When I think of fun, I think of something that completely takes me out of myself, mentally and physically.

I’ve analyzed the word fun so much that I am now one step away from giving you the Webster’s Dictionary definition.

I am a bit of a cozy homebody type, and yet I also love to travel, and after much thought I have come to the conclusion that my most fun experiences have occurred when I am travelling. I think of Disney World with the guys, I think of zip-lining in Mexico, I think of boogie boarding in Maui.

And if I think about it even more, I think that so many of my most fun experiences can be traced back to my friend Jen (HI JEN). She and I have karaoked Hold On both in public and not, we learned to zumba poolside in Playa Mujeres, we laughed until we cried about lizards having sex and public finger blasting, we became hysterical while listening to a cover band singing Smooth Operator, and together we became overly involved in puzzles and the game Mexican Train over New Year’s. We can sit together in companionable silence while we read books, we can giggle over margaritas and wine, we can walk and swim and do things together and I never, ever get tired of her. She’s the sister I never had, I love her kids and husband dearly, and she was here visiting me for an extended girls’ weekend!

WE HAD FUN.

We read books and went to my favourite bookstore, we had margaritas on the deck in the middle of the day, we went to a wine tasting and then came home and drank more wine as we watched a movie, we walked and did puzzles like we were in some kind of professional puzzling competition. I was sad to see her go, but also, in a twist of the philosophical saying, happy that this extended weekend existed at all.

Softening the blow of Jen’s leaving was the arrival of my husband and son, home from their very long road trip in the camper up north. They drove up the Dempster Highway to Tutoyatuk, they swam in the Arctic Ocean and hiked along glaciers, clocking almost 9000 kilometres in total. It was definitely the trip of a lifetime. They had fun!

Weekly Reading

I forgot to mention that I had a DNF this month; it was the book Rouge, which I tried twice to read, and just could not. I guess I’m not a magical kind of gal. But the books I did read this week I really enjoyed.

Funny Story. When Daphne’s fiance calls off their wedding to get together with Miles’ girlfriend, Daphne finds herself in need of a place to live. She moves in with Miles, temporarily, and together they come up with a plan to “get back” at the newly engaged couple – they pretend THEY are a couple. OMG you won’t believe what happens next. Okay, yes you will, you will absolutely be able to predict everything that happens, but we don’t read Emily Henry books to be shocked and surprised, do we? We read them because they are wonderfully cute romances with amazing dialogue and fun banter. We read them because they have heart, and lovely characters, and are just all-round fun. Two fun facts: just like I thought Nichelle was a name I had made up when I was 13 only to discover that no, it is a name, I also thought I was the only person in the world who identified with Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice. Daphne also identifies with Charlotte Lucas!!! Second fun fact: Emily Henry has just had her 34th birthday, and I am in awe of her incredible success in the romance writing world. The tl;dr on this is that I really, really enjoyed it. It’s a satisfying book and I always love a “chosen family” side plot.

Early Morning Riser. I first read this in 2021, and my impression at that time was that it was extremely delightful, and also, that I could not at all describe it. On my second read, I think it is even more delightful than I remembered, and also, there is no way to really describe the delightfulness that is this book. There is no discernable plot. The romantic lead is – and there is no other way to describe him, really – a dirtbag who has slept with basically every woman in his small Michigan town, and most of the women in the surrounding area. And yet! Yet this book is so warm and joyful and bighearted, and it is hysterically, laugh-out-loud funny, if you are a person who shares my sense of humour and also love of Jane Austen-style wit. It’s a series of vignettes and character sketches of people in this small town, and it’s a testament to chosen family – theme of the week? – and all kinds of love. There is a scene where the protagonist is preparing her children for bath time, and it was so wonderful that I read it at least six times. I love this author and her writing style is GOALS for me. If you are a person who requires a firm plot and definable theme, and if you do NOT like an understated style of humour, then this won’t work for you, probably. But it is a near-perfect read for me.

I hope you all are having a beautiful August! The garden is going rogue with produce, my second planting of greens has sprouted, life is good. Have a FUN week, friends! xo

Summer Yummers

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I am absolutely, without a doubt, a Summer Girl. It is my favourite season, and I feel like last year I was cheated out of it, a bit, with the move. Everything was so busy and so stressful and so emotional – I sobbed with hopelessness in the parking lot of the library when they said I couldn’t have a card until I had an official identification proving my Kelowna address, as a small example of my mental state – that I didn’t really get to enjoy the season. So, this summer I am soaking up every second of it.

All of this is to say that when I say wow, it’s hot, it is observational, not a complaint. This Calgary girl will never get over the novelty that opening the front door is similar to opening an oven door; after all, it’s a dry heat and I have a shady deck to lounge on and an air-conditioned house to retreat to when it’s too much. As a brief aside, if you have air conditioning, what do temperature you set it on? We keep ours at 24C, which I feel is just enough to take the edge off without having constant cold air blowing. I like to be comfortable in my summer clothes inside.

I’m not sure if this is my body’s way of making sure I can enjoy my outdoor time before it gets too hot to be active, but my natural wake-up lately is in the three’s. I have long been a 4:00 riser, but for the past couple of weeks, when temperatures have been soaring into the late 30s, I have been up for the day at a time that starts with a “3.” I hope this is just a Rhythm of Nature thing, and not a harbinger of things to come, in which I am waking up earlier and earlier until I am not sleeping at all. I guess I’ll see what happens in a month, and in the meantime, it’s nice to be able to see my son before he heads out to work in the morning.

In other heat-related news, my meal preparation changes vastly in the summer; our dinners are light and easy, and I use the oven only rarely. This is despite the fact the oven is new and very well-insulated, and, as I mentioned before, we have air conditioning; between those two factors I don’t worry about the house heating up, but still, I’m all about the low-effort meals.

It’s been a little while since I shared a week of meals; I am inspired by my gorgeously talented friend Suzanne to do so (HI SUZANNE). As a note, half of the meals I made are meatless, but I did use my air fryer to prepare chicken for the guys Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. Do you have an air fryer? It’s an appliance that is symbolic of my consumer life with my husband: he wanted to buy it, I said we didn’t need it, he bought it, and now I use it all the time. You would not believe how often this happens in my marriage. Anyway, it’s brilliant for our family because it has two baskets, one I keep pristine for the vegetables, and the other is used for meat only. I cannot tell you how much this has changed my life; I hate hate hate cooking meat, and this has made the process almost painless.

I don’t use a lot of recipes in my cooking; the kids call it “Mom’s Free-Styling Again.” I kind of throw things together until they seem good to me, like the wild thing that I am.

Monday: Asian-Inspired Noodle Salad

I’ve been making a variation of this Asian-inspired noodle salad for years; I cook the noodles and some edamame in the morning, so that it’s nice and chilled by dinnertime, and I add in any vegetables I feel like. In this case, it’s grated carrots with chopped peppers and zucchini from the garden. I added cashews and some sauteed tofu, plus garden green onions and cilantro. The dressing is made up of equal parts sesame oil, rice vinegar, and soy sauce, with a little bit less of a part of lime juice. I add a big spoonful of brown sugar and another of chili garlic sauce, plus some minced garlic and grated ginger.

Tuesday: DIY Tortilla Wraps

This is my go-to for a quick and easy meal; I slice up any vegetables that are around – avocado, pepper, tomato, and garden lettuce and green onion, and I set out hummus, salsa, and cheese, along with the aforementioned air fryer chicken breasts.

Wednesday: The Big Salad, With Lots Of Stuff In It

My most prolific garden vegetable, by far, is kale; we have been enjoying kale salads multiple times a week for two months now. I, like Elaine Benes, love a big salad, with lots of stuff in it, and this week I added candied pecans, roasted chickpeas, apple, dried blueberries, and goat cheese crumbles to the kale. I served it with a balsamic vinaigrette, and some crusty bread.

Thursday: Pesto Pasta Salad

I have SO much basil; this is but a pittance of what I still have in the garden.

I made up a nice batch of pesto and added it to cold pasta and peas. I also roasted some asparagus, broccoli, and cauliflower, as an exception to my “no oven” guideline.

Friday: My Big Fat Greek Salad

Friday is my favourite day of the week, which calls for my favourite meal of all time, the meal I could eat on repeat every day for the rest of my life: Greek salad with pita and hummus. No matter what the season, I make this meal on Fridays. I have a little tip for those of you who make your own hummus: add a little soft tofu for extra creaminess, and pulse in some (pitted) black olives. Delicious!

Saturday: The Best Thing To Come Out Of Foods Class

This pasta salad has been a summer favourite since 2018, when my younger son brought the recipe home from his junior high Foods class, a class that was a source of much angst since he and his kitchen group of four friends were extremely unpopular with his teacher. I mean, I am always on my kids’ side, but thinking about five teen boys in one group who constantly were making grievous cooking mistakes and in a state of hilarity about it, well, it’s hard to really blame the teacher. Particularly since I knew all these boys and had them in my house and yard many times over the years, I knew what the, how do I say it, vibe was like. She only likes the girls, my son explained, and I felt like I understood the entire situation. Anyway, one thing he did make without disaster was this pasta salad, and I adapted the recipe for my own preferences. I like to set out a lot of veggies, and everyone can build their own dish.

Sunday: BBQ Day

My husband usually grills something on the barbeque on Sundays; this week it was burgers. After the food-poisoning disaster of Canada Day, I found my favourite chipotle black bean burgers again at Costco, after a long hiatus. We also had sweet potato fries and a kale Caesar salad.

Sweets To The Sweet

I baked zucchini loaf with our garden zucchinis and…

It’s an ice cream cake, sort of. I made chocolate banana ice cream for the bottom layer, pulsed Oreo cookies with fudge sauce for the middle, and topped it all with Cool Whip. I used to love DQ cakes, but one such slice would give me at least as much pain as the expired veggie burgers, so I thought to try my hand at something non-dairy. It was a hit!

Weekly Reading

If last week’s theme was infidelity, this week was male authors. I very rarely read books by men, particularly heterosexual men; out of the 75 books I have read this year, 8 are by men, just to give you an idea.

Wellness. When I downloaded this book, I was stunned. How long IS this, I asked. I looked it up: the paper edition is 611 pages. SIX HUNDRED ELEVEN PAGES. That is, in the humble opinion of this gentle reader, way too many pages. And now that I have read it, my question is where was the editor? Was there an editor? This book could have been cut by a third, easily, with no effect at all on the story. Because it’s a really great story, but there is just so much descriptive backstory and whole chapters that could have been condensed to a single paragraph. SO MANY PAGES.
I did have a Mrs Lynde “Isn’t that just like a man?” moment, because doesn’t it seem like these editor-light tomes are always by men?
Anyway, once I got past my initial despair, I found the first two hundred pages to be relatively quick and easy to read, and the subject matter itself is very interesting: it’s about a marriage gone boring. What happens when the fires of anti establishment youth fade into the ashes of just regular, middle aged family life? There are so many segues and they are mostly quite interesting: the placebo effect, Facebook algorithms, how modern parenting is informed by parenting past, and complex familial relationships. All good stuff. But THIS IS TOO LONG. Again, great story, when the writing is good it’s really good, but it badly needs an editor.

Heaven and Earth’s Grocery Store. This was a good story of a Pennsylvania town in 1936; it centres around the Jewish owners of a grocery store, serving a Black community, and the way they work together to help a child who was unfairly institutionalized. There are some truly moving and heart-breaking parts, and it ends in a clever, satisfying way.

I hope you are all having a beautiful, summery week with lots of yummy things! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The One Year Anniversary Edition

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Exactly one year ago today, I loaded up the car and drove eight hours solo, with only Rex and a queue of podcasts for company, to move from Calgary to Kelowna. The entries from my one-line-a-day journal from this time last year are kind of nuts; frantic descriptions of packing, cleaning, and purging, interspersed with lawyer meetings and nervous breakdowns. I said to myself a million times, between crying to myself singing along to The Climb and Unwritten, there will be a time after this. And there was! There was a time after that! This is the time, and it’s good.

Here we are one year after that time of pure chaos, and so I give you:

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The One Year Anniversary Edition

Better Homes and Gardens

While it’s true that I loved my cozy little bungalow in my warm and wonderful community, with the gardens that we designed and built and planted and cared for over twenty-three years, wow, do I love my new home and gardens. There’s something amazing to me about upsizing to a spacious house with clean lines and huge windows and lots of light, with a giant yard and garden and a growing season that is over twice as long as what I experienced before. Every single morning I go into my garden, and every single morning I am filled with delight and happiness.

I cannot even believe the amount of produce we’ve had so far and how gratifying I find it, harvesting vegetables and incorporating them into my meal plans. And the things I don’t grow, I can buy at the local farm market for what seems to me to be incredibly low prices.

Now, am I going to have approximately one million tomatoes and half as many zucchinis? Possibly. But I will take on the challenge of Extreme Produce Glut with gusto.

Scrub a Dub Dub

I’ve always wanted an ensuite bathroom, and now I have one, complete with the makeup table of my dreams. I love the light colours of the walls and tiles but I noticed that I was getting weird, gross orange and black stains on the floor tile grout. I mean, I’m all up for seasonal Halloween decor but not on my grout and not year-round.

You know me, I am all about the hippie cleaning products and using white vinegar and Scrub Daddies for everything, but nothing like that was removing these stains, no matter how much elbow grease was applied. I don’t like bleach and I don’t like harsh-smelling products that make my eyes water, but the stains were making me insane. Or, in-stain.

Desperate, I bought this CLR cleaner as a Hail Mary, and HOT DAMN.

I realize that this would be a much more dramatic photo if there was a “before,” but you’ll have to believe me, this is an incredible, almost total improvement on the situation.

Hair Affair

If you, like me, always squint and look with extreme interest at bathroom photos to decipher the types of products that are kept in a shower, well, squint no more! I am more than happy to talk about my new favourite hair product, Prose, and I am not even a little bit embarrassed to tell you that I heard it mentioned on a variety of podcasts many times over, and because the algorithm is always listening, those products also started showing up in my social media feed. Then I started to get codes for 50% off and I ask you, what’s a girl to do?

Now, you know I’m never going to talk about beauty products unless I’ve used them for at least a few months; I started using Prose shampoo, conditioner, and something called a pre-shampoo mask in early March and I do not think I can adequately express the metamorphosis that I have experienced.

How Prose works is that you fill out a survey about what your life is like, including things like your postal code, exercise routines, and diet, as well as what trauma you put your hair through on the daily and what your hair goals in general are. For me, I heat style and colour my hair and my main goal is to KEEP my hair. Then they send you products that are specific to your needs, including scent preferences. The labels have your name on them which is an adorable touch, I think.

I admit I was skeptical at first but not anymore. I feel like my hair has a new lease on life.

You Put The Lime In The Coconut

I try to spend as many hours a day as possible outside, and in the heat of the day, the shade of my deck is a perfect place to be. And what could be nicer on a Friday afternoon in summer than an icy cold cocktail?

Now, my friend Liv (HI LIV) told me at least a decade ago about coconut tequila, but to be honest, it fell off my radar, at least until last December when a friend made me an unseasonable, but very welcome, margarita. What made it so delicious, I asked? COCONUT TEQUILA. It was everything Liv had been trying to tell me for ten years, and more.

My coconut-lime margarita life was on hold until about a six weeks ago, when I a) found a lime margarita mix at the grocery store, and b) actually went to the liquor store in search of coconut tequila. There’s no going back now, it’s my new favourite drink for the summer.

You Put The Pine(apple) In The Coconut

But of course one cannot survive on coconut lime margaritas alone. I like a refreshing non-alcoholic beverage for regular weekdays, and Bubly came out with a pineapple coconut flavour that I am obsessed with.

Look, the can is so friendly! Hola!

Outfit of the Month

Do you have a Summer Uniform? I sure do, it’s a plain black tank top with a Lululemon skirt, the kind that has shorts attached underneath so I can go about my daily business without being worried I am going to show my panties to the world, or, more specifically, my children. No need to traumatize them.

Very occasionally I’ll swap out the black tank for a white one, but since I am a walking disaster, I will almost inevitably be ending the day with stain remover when that happens.

When it comes to clothing, I’m not a very colourful gal generally, except in the summer. I have this same skirt in a variety of colours. I’m at the point in life where if there is a piece that fits, feels good, and is cute, then I like to get multiples of that piece. The Uniform fulfils the three C’s: cool, comfortable, and cute. The sandals are Skechers slides, which are absolutely perfect for slipping on and comfortable enough to walk around in.

One whole year! Thank you to all my wonderful friends who have made the transition so smooth; my Calgary friends who wished me well, my Kelowna friends (especially Sammi, HI SAMMI) who welcomed me with open arms, and every single reader who sent love and encouragement my way. I love and adore you all. xo

What Have I Become?

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One thing I didn’t realize would happen, with a retired husband and children no longer in the public school system, is that long weekends don’t really register for me anymore. Every weekend is a long weekend, therefore no weekend is a long weekend.

This is not to say that the Canada Day weekend was really affected by the school system, but since the school year finishes at the end of June, July 1 always felt like the big start to summer. We have a young houseguest – our dear friends’ son, who is himself a very good friend of my sons’, particularly my oldest, with whom he shares a birthday – and when my son mentioned he was coming, I thought oh yeah, I guess that IS a long weekend.

Personally, living in this beautiful climate, I feel like summer started weeks ago, so this holiday feels like a bit of a non-event. Interestingly, though, since Kelowna is very much a tourist town, I have noticed things like increased traffic and a lot more beach-themed items for sale in shops and stores. My new favourite bookshop was displaying all the beach reads, Ogopogo stuffies, and such items that are beloved by tourists, like a new cookbook written by my husband’s family friend, which pairs wines from the Burrowing Owl winery with menus using seasonal, local produce.

Speaking of which, I am still working my way through Julie’s cake cookbook, and this weekend, in honour of our guest I decided to make chocolate stout cake, with the single Guinness I had left in the fridge. I had more, but my son and our guest decided on Friday night to make stout floats using some of the homemade ice cream in the freezer. We didn’t have vanilla, so they improvised with mint and reported that it wasn’t very good. You don’t say? Mint and Guinness are NOT a winning combination? Colour me surprised. Well, the cake WAS very good, although it completely sunk in the middle. I did wonder why Julie had indicated that the batter was to be divided between two loaf pans; I thought that sounds silly, I’ll just pour it into an 8×8. Joke’s on me. Well, it tasted great, even if I flipped it over to hide the sunken middle.

As everyone who knows me even marginally knows, I love being outside. In good weather, particularly summer, I have low-level feelings of resentment for every moment I spend indoors. I think this is partly due to living almost my whole life in Calgary; if the weather is good, you had better enjoy it, because it could abruptly end at any moment. Any time the weather is nice, I just want to spend all my time outside.

At night, though, I like a bed, and walls, and the incredible modern inventions of running water and flush toilets, and so I am not a person who has incorporated camping into my life. Imagine telling our foremothers that, instead of hauling water from a well or creek and then heating it painstakingly on the stove, which has been fueled with wood chopped by hand, just so someone could take a stab at being some semblance of clean, that we have clean water at our fingertips, and not only that, we can choose the temperature? Imagine how exciting that would be for them, and then imagine telling them that we shall eschew this modern miracle to go hang out in the woods and be swarmed by mosquitoes at every turn?

So my stance on camping has historically been a negative one, but my husband found a loophole in my “bed, walls, toilet, and running water” argument by purchasing a camper. I am sure he’d love it if I said “our camper” but really, it’s HIS camper. I’ve been very pleased that he has used it with the boys, and was a bit startled to be asked to go with him and meet up with another couple this past Friday.

My first instinct was to Shut This Shit Down, but after a calming meditation, I realized that a) this was not in keeping with my current Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open mantra, b) the other couple was being really kind and welcoming, and were proposing so many accommodations and fun activities for me, c) sometimes marital harmony is preserved through compromise, and d) it was only for one night.

And you know what, friends, it was actually pretty fun! My friend brought an extra kayak and lifejacket for me, knowing that would be something I would love, my husband packed lots of wine and coolers, and my friend’s husband brought an entire cake and encouraged me to eat two pieces. I felt like the subject of Tonight’s The Night, but in a non-sexual way; like I was a terrified virgin who needed smooth jazz, soft words, and some wine to get things going.

Several of my camping friends, on hearing the news, congratulated me enthusiastically, saying that I would love my new life as a Happy Camper. I would not go so far as that; I cannot with any honesty use the word “love” and “camping” in the same sentence, but it was pretty fun. I did love the kayaking and the walks the girls did with the dogs while the guys went fishing, I did love the cake and the wine and sitting by the fire until I was overcome with mosquito bites.

The happy result as far as my husband is concerned is that I have agreed to go annually, on my one night only condition. I know! What have I become? Someone who is dousing themselves in witch hazel, that’s what.

Weekly Reading

One Star Romance. I expected this enemies-to-lovers book about a man who rates a woman’s debut novel one star, and then the two of them find themselves as best man and maid of honour at their friends’ wedding, to be a light and fluffy read. It was not! It was so much more involved: it is a romance, for sure, but it’s also a book about friendship and family and growing up. I really liked it! It definitely took me by surprise, it’s a very clever and thoughtful book with some great character arcs.

1000 Words: A Writer’s Guide To Staying Creative, Focused, and Productive Year Round. I heard this woman being interviewed on a podcast; she created the 1000 Words of Summer, which is a motivational group for writers. The key is to write 1000 words a day for two weeks in the summer. This was intriguing to me because 1000 words a day, four to five days a week was exactly how I wrote my first draft. This book is about the craft of writing, but is mostly meant to be motivational and inspirational, including short essays from a number of very accomplished authors.

What did I just say? First draft? I had a goal, very quietly kept close to my chest, of writing a first draft of a novel in 2024, and on June 5, I completed that goal! I finished the reread last week and am preparing for the second draft now. I will have much more to say about it, I’m sure, in the coming weeks.

Happy Canada Day, friends! Here’s to July! I hope you all have a beautiful week. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Landscaped Edition

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I realized just as I wrote that title that I have a sugaring appointment this afternoon, but lest you get the wrong idea, what I am going to talk about today is NOT that kind of landscaping.

It’s full on summer and I am enjoying the gorgeous weather, although today is “coolish.” Of course, in Calgary this would be considered just a nice June day, but here it’s considered cool. Anyway, today I wanted to take you for a tour of my newly landscaped backyard – NOT THAT KIND OF LANDSCAPED BACKYARD, PEOPLE. We started the project in April and it finished a couple of weeks ago.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Landscaped Edition

Perennially Pretty

We had professional help for our yard; it was just too big and too overwhelming of a project for my husband and I to take on by ourselves. It’s a new climate, we have deer, and I wanted to have things blooming at all different times of the year. I am SO happy with the final result, and I look forward to seeing the flower beds fill out in the years to come, as all of these are perennials.

Can you spot Salvadore? Bonus if you can spy the other gnomes in this photo.
Gustav the gnome is hiding in the tree.
The old gas pump for farm equipment.
Before this was all rough grass; I originally wanted to xeriscape but we decided to put rock in along with the old farm equipment.
A reminder to go placidly amid the noise and haste.

Colour Me Colourful

We wanted to have some more colour, and so we added pots of annuals. You can see in the above photo we have a large one at the steps – by the most gorgeous purple clematis – and we put some on our deck as well.

Berry Happy To Just Veg Out

I have gotten so much incredible edibles out of my garden already (NOT THAT KIND OF EDIBLES), that I can hardly believe it’s only June. I have so many greens, you guys! It’s all salads all the time around here:

Plus a healthy dose of cilantro:

And basil:

And I’ve even harvested some raspberries, along with strawberries:

Also, garden spinach in smoothies is LIFE ALTERING, even more so than, say, getting sugared.

Just Thelma, No Louise

My lovely friend Sandi (HI SANDI) and I went to lunch and a movie last week, and I had to admit that the last time I saw a movie in the theatre, it was Top Gun: Maverick. Before that, it was Greta Gerwig’s Little Women in 2019. So what I’m saying is that I don’t see a lot of movies; mostly I find myself bored and distractable. But Sandi suggested we go see Thelma, which I had never heard of, but upon discovering it was about a ninety-two woman who gets scammed and then goes on a caper with her friend and his scooter to get her money back, well. I was IN. It was such a pro-aging delight, and I think the key to a good movie watching experience is to watch with a girlfriend, as opposed to, say, the members of the Boyhouse who enjoy action movies and things that are upsetting, like bombs exploding or guns firing.

On that note, I wanted to bring up something to see if anyone else can relate: I need spoilers, else I cannot get through a movie or television show. I get too stressed and anxious watching anything even remotely upsetting. Even with a feel-good movie like Thelma, which at 107 minutes is pretty much perfect, I was feeling all sweaty-palmed and worried. I have been known to google plots or to text my friend Hannah (HI HANNAH) for detailed spoilers so I know what to expect. Anyway, Thelma was absolutely wonderful and I highly recommend it, particularly as a raised fist in solidarity to combat feelings of invisibility and irrelevance that are forced on aging people, particularly women.

Me, watching a movie.

The Vulva Shaped Soapbox

Speaking of raised fists and aging women, I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about The Menopause Manifesto. I generally use the library for most books, but some books are necessary to have on the shelf at the ready, and this is one of them. I bought it in 2021 and have been using it as a reference ever since; my symptoms have vastly (VASTLY) changed in the past three years and I have never come across any book so helpful, compassionate, and evidence-based than this one. Dr. Gunter is THE last word in women’s health, and particularly in the menopause sphere, and she rails against misinformation and the so-called fixes that are sold to women desperate to find relief from their symptoms, from the merely bothersome to the downright debilitating. It’s a must read for any woman who is lucky enough to live long enough to go through this perfectly natural, but often cloaked in shame, stage of life.

Simply Irresistable

As I said, women can start to feel less attractive and more invisible as we age, but do you know who finds me even more sexy and irresistible than before? Mosquitoes. Hello summer, and my daily walks down by the creek do not go unnoticed. I have always been a person who has been hotly pursued by mosquitoes, but these days I am even more irresistible to them. It’s like I’m Princess Di, and they are the paparazzi, but with less-devastating, itchier results. Maybe it’s because you eat so much potassium, my son helpfully mentioned, and that could be true, but my whole life I have been One Sexy Bitch to those blood-thirsty insects.

Typically I put on bug spray prior to my walk, but I forgot to the other day, the exact day I was wearing a really cute yoga tank with criss-cross straps and an open back. My entire body, but particularly my back, is now covered in welts. I happen to have allergic reactions to mosquito bites, not the My Girl deadly kind of allergic reaction, but just swelling and bruising and terrible itch. I also have allergic reactions to anything that is supposed to soothe said bites, and my friend Laura (HI LAURA) told me that she is the same way. Of course she is, we are basically the same person, except she’s American. Anyway, she suggested Thayer’s Witch Hazel with Rose, and friends, IT WORKS. I had immediate relief, plus it smells lovely.

Outfit of the Month

Remember when I mentioned that my dressy sandals were just half a size too small, and my feet were swelling and falling out of them? I replaced them with these from Skechers, and I wore them to a recent birthday party ALL NIGHT. Not once did I slip off my shoes, as is my wont. Comfort and cuteness, it’s a winning combination

Here’s the full outfit: the same black Lululemon City Sleek pants that look like real pants, but feel like yoga pants, that I have talked about at length for years. The top is from long-defunct Jacob, and I don’t know exactly how long I have had it, but I do know I wore it to my 40th birthday party, and I am now 49.

June was a great month for me, and when I compare it to the nervous breakdown of LAST June, well, it looks even better. Do you have any favourite things from this month? I’d love to hear about them. I have an interesting weekend ahead of me, including a houseguest and an adventure, and I wish all my Canadian friends a lovely long weekend! And for you non-Canadians, I hope you have a wonderful regular weekend. xo

More Weeding, More Reading

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This is probably a strange thing to admit, because I know that generally it is a task that is dreaded and disliked, but I actually kind of love weeding. Like the laundry, or cleaning the kitchen, or really cleaning anything at all in my house (I’m currently looking with a side-eye at my fuzzy companion, due to whom we never have clean floors for more than thirty minutes), the weeding is never done. It reminds me so much of Newman’s meltdown about the mail, how it never stops. That’s how it is with weeding, the weeds just keep coming and coming.

But maybe that’s what I like about it, that there is always something that needs tending. I also find weeding to be very meditative; typically when I’m performing dull, repetitive tasks I listen to podcasts or music, but when I weed I leave my phone and earbuds in the house, and it’s just me and the weeds, with the sounds of the outdoors around me. There’s something so calming about feeling the warmth of the sun with my hands in the dirt. It’s absolutely a meditation.

This week I found myself meditating a lot on friendship, and the role of social media in our lives. I have been reminding myself of the platitude that friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. What is interesting to me is how social media has changed that in some ways; people who we lose touch with decades ago can come back into our life via the miracle that is social media.

I think of one of the closing lines of Desiderata nearly every day: With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. This sentiment could easily be manipulated to be applied to social media: With all its sham, fakery, and advertisements, it is still a beautiful thing. So many incredible people have come back into my life and I have met so many people on social media channels who make my life richer and more interesting.

In a way, it’s changed the for a lifetime part of the platitude, because although I might not be intimate with my childhood best friends or my group from junior high, I still feel like I know them. I know their children’s names and what they look like, and sometimes I even know what they are eating for dinner or where they are travelling to. I love that. It’s an incredible way to stay connected, and I don’t think that I would be connected with these people were it not for social media.

I fully understand the pitfalls of social media, of course, but as a woman my age I’m pretty much over comparing my life to anyone else’s. I like to celebrate when others are celebrating, I want to commiserate when others are sad or in mourning, and I really do like to see what other people are eating for dinner. I know that mindless scrolling can be not only a waste of time, but also detrimental to my attention span and general wellness, and so I apply boundaries to my Instagramming and Facebooking and I stick to them.

There is one part of social media that I fall prey to, though, and that is the advertising. Wow, am I a soft touch. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I have purchased – and, I hasten to add, absolutely loved – at least three products that were marketed to me on Instagram, and although I don’t buy a lot of things, I definitely look at the advertising reels and think about them intensely. You should see my algorithm, you guys. It’s almost entirely makeup and skincare for “the older woman,” plus shapewear. The other evening I was glancing at my feed and I accidentally mused out loud Miracle Balm, hmm, do I need Miracle Balm? The responses from the men in the house was immediate and emphatic.

My younger son: NO.

My husband: What? How many products do you already use every day? Forty? You don’t need forty-one.

My older son: You can’t stop the forward march of time, Mom.

Well, they are probably right, other than my husband’s conjecture about the number of products I use. I don’t know exactly how many I use, it depends on the day, but surely it’s less than forty. Surely. In any case, it’s true, you can’t stop the forward march of time. No matter how miraculous the balm.

Weekly Reading

There are two things I wanted to tell you before I get to the two very excellent and entertaining books that I read this week. The first is that I guest-posted over on Engie’s blog (HI ENGIE), and I talked about twenty favourite books that I have each read at least three times. Technically there are twenty-two, since I slipped Heidi and Deenie in at the end. Anyway, I wrote it a few weeks ago but since I was travelling, I wasn’t able to link up. Here it is, I hope you enjoy!

The second thing I wanted to say – and this is notable since I rarely do it – is that I DNFed a book this week. I have been trying to do this more, as I have a tendency to push through with books I am not enjoying, which is a waste of time, really. A woman in my writing group had strongly recommended a Japanese series, the first of which was Before The Coffee Gets Cold. She was so enthusiastic that I just put it on hold without looking up what it was about. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered it was all about time-travel; longtime readers will remember how I loathe time-travel as a literary device. I started it all the same, slogging through the first forty pages, and then I remembered my resolution to DNF if I am not enjoying a book. Freedom!

After I Do. Friends, I could not put down this book about a young married couple who fall out of love. It was one of the most intensely readable books I have had in a while! It was all about the little quirks that we have that are endearing, but maybe on a day to day basis become really irritating to our partners, and vice versa. It’s also about how small resentments (think: arguments about where the car is parked) can become fury-inducing, and how a lack of communication can tank a relationship. I mean, who among us hasn’t felt Hulk-level rage at something ridiculous like a toilet paper roll not being put in the recycle but instead left on the bathroom counter for all eternity? Anyway, this couple takes a year separation to see if their marriage can be saved, it’s a circuitous route that struck me as odd, but such a satisfying and engrossing read. I was so invested in these characters. Interesting note: this was written in 2014, and the author has gone on to have massive success. I have read a few of her very popular books and I didn’t enjoy them half as much as I did this. 

Happiness Falls. I don’t know what I thought this book would be like, but it wasn’t this – and I LOVED IT. What an incredibly written book with such a unique and original voice. A father goes missing and the only one who has clues to this is his autistic, non-speaking fourteen year old son. The rest of the family, along with the police, try to piece together what happened and if the son is at all to blame. As a side note, the father has been researching the notion of happiness, trying to quantify it in terms of baselines – if you come in from a cold, rainy day and warm up, you’re happier than if you never left the house, for example. It’s given me lots of fascinating things to think about. If you read this, be sure to read the author’s note on how she came up with the idea, because it’s very interesting.

Don’t worry, I won’t be exclusively writing about weeding for the next five months. OR WILL I? Will weeding become my new grocery shopping, in terms of blog topics? Stay tuned! xo

Weeding, Flowers, and Semi-Mindful Consumption

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I discovered another, only slightly-distressing but still inconvenient victim of the Big Move this past week, with all the weeding I have been doing – hours and hours of weeding, people – and that is my trusty old nail brush. I had the cutest little nail brush in the shape of a foot – and the foot shape itself was a little pumice – that dates back to the early 2000s, and, if memory serves me correctly, was in a gift box of Body Shop items related to foot care, including what I thought was discontinued, but is only rebranded, peppermint foot lotion.

Slight digression: has anyone else noticed the rebranding and repackaging of Cover Girl items? Cover Girl has really upped its game; the packaging is so sleek and pretty now, and they have a whole new “clean” line as well. I kind of dislike the “clean” labelling because it implies anything else I put on my face is mud collected from the off-leash dog park, but my beloved Aunty C swears by their new line of clean mascaras, and I feel that is a notable recommendation, albeit not one I have personally tried. I’m a Maybelline Surreal Falsies girl, as we all know.

Anyway, back to the nail brush. I have no idea if, in my stressful packing of last year, I threw it out, or if it is just another lost item, not as soul-destroying as the bookmarks, but annoying nonetheless. I think it must be the former, because nothing else bathroom-related is missing – THAT I KNOW OF – and who is to say what my mental state was at the time? I was probably singing along to Miley Cyrus’ The Climb and crying while I packed the bathroom, so it’s perfectly possible that it hit the trash. It was somewhat stained from the time my younger son had to stain his woodworking project at home and hence used it to scrub off the chocolate-brown wood stain all over his hands, so maybe I just tossed it.

Well, when you need a nail brush, you need a nail brush, and although I generally wear gloves while gardening, I somehow still get dirt underneath my nails, which is not a look I am going for. I am trying to Consume Mindfully these days and avoid unnecessary purchases, keeping in mind that my husband will leave me and my mother will disown me if I ever do a No-Shopping Year again. I chalked this up as a Highly Necessary Item and immediately ordered one, along with some new protein powder.

Late last year, both Engie and Elisabeth (HI ENGIE HI ELISABETH) recorded their beauty expenditures, in relation to what is known as the Beauty Tax, whereas the average (American) woman spends $877 on her appearance annually, whereas her male counterpart spends $592. I was completely shocked by those numbers because I blow them out of the water. My health and beauty expenditures vary wildly from month-to-month, depending on what runs out or if my pricey hair supplements have shipped, but let me tell you, as of this moment in time I am way, way, WAY over the annual average, and it’s only mid-May. The reason I even bring this up is that protein powder expenditures are “supposed” to be included in the total, which I think is stupid, as to me this is an important way to bump up my protein for my overall health, not a beauty product. Although, now that I’ve typed that out, I guess health does affect beauty, particularly hair and skin, so FINE I WILL INCLUDE THE PROTEIN POWDER. Be right back, I have to go update my spreadsheet.

In terms of Mindful Consumption, I have been really trying to use up what I have before I purchase more of any particular item, whether it be a beauty product or anything for the household like, say, chickpeas. Of course, that makes me a little anxious because as of Friday I was down to the last can of chickpeas and I used it up to make hummus, which means no more chickpeas until grocery day. This is a stressful situation to be in. What if I want to put roasted chickpeas on something? What then? I guess I would have to suffer through until Wednesday. Other than that, this is working fairly well, except that I somehow currently have seventeen bottles of Bath and Body Works lotion. Am I inadvertently hoarding? Well, I won’t buy ANY more, at least until I’m down to three or four.

I did decide to Mindfully Purge my underwear and sock drawer. It’s a strange cognitive dissonance that I can happily add one more black top to my many, many drawers full of black tops, but I have a total block when it comes to buying new socks, panties, or – and especially – bras. After a ten-minute interval in which I a) could see the state of my pedicure through my worn-out socks, b) put my (clean) fingernail through the lace in a pair of panties and ripped it nearly in half, and c) examined myself in the mirror to see that my bra cups gaped so much that I could literally stuff my worn-out socks in there, like I was a character in a Judy Blume book, I decided enough was enough. ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. I ruthlessly went through everything and then REPLACED all the worn and ill-fitting items, including three new bras. We all know my weird laziness when it comes to buying new bras, and here I am! I’m a new woman! One who isn’t wearing socks with holes in them or bras that are in need of stuffing.

On the topic of clothing, I love looking at what other people are wearing, not just for events, but for regular day-to-day living. I think you can tell a lot about a person and what kind of day they are having by what they are wearing at the grocery store, an outing to which is a huge part of my day-to-day life (only two days until more chickpeas). I love seeing elderly ladies all dressed up in slacks and blouses, with their hair done and lipstick on, and I also love seeing young moms with their messy buns, frazzled faces, washable outfits, and carts full of small people and Goldfish crackers. I love seeing people in their pajama pants, with a I Don’t Give A Fuck About Your Societal Rules look on their faces. There’s something invigorating about a person who will NOT conform to the Pajamas Are For Home canon.

The other day I passed a young man in the cereal aisle; he was wearing a ribbed white tank top, low riding jeans, and a pukka shell necklace. He also had a moustache and a mullet, and I reminded myself that I had not travelled back in time, young men are often in mullets and moustaches these days. I was marvelling about this to myself, wondering if I lived to 100 how many returns of the mullet I would see in my lifetime, when I found myself next to an older man, who was notable only for a scowl on his face and a t-shirt that read “I Tested Positive For Freedom,” which was embellished with a maple leaf.

Well. Fashion is there to make a statement, and that man certainly was, but what I couldn’t help but think was you’re still wearing that in 2024? Aren’t we done this by now? He was older, but there’s no reason to think he wouldn’t live another 15 or 20 years, and I wondered if he would still be wearing it then, and what, if any, the public reaction would be. Perhaps I’m overthinking this, perhaps it was just the first shirt he grabbed when he got dressed that morning. Perhaps he, like me, is trying to Consume Mindfully and did not see any reason not to wear a perfectly serviceable t-shirt, one with no visible rents or stains. Or perhaps he really wants everyone to know his particular outlook on life. I typically smile at or chat with everyone I encounter at the grocery store, but you know what, I just picked up the oatmeal from the shelf we were both looking at, and swerved around him silently.

Weekly Reading

I Was Told There Would Be Cake. I heard this woman speak on a podcast a few months ago, and immediately put her new memoir on hold. I mentioned this to Bijoux (HI BIJOUX) who told me that the author also had a book of essays, from around 2008. It was so enjoyable and fun, and gave me good nostalgia for life in my twenties.

The Interestings. My favourite kind of book is a character-driven book, and this is definitely that. I became very invested in the lives of the six – plus a husband – people who become friends at summer camp, and whose lives diverge fairly widely after they become adults. I love thinking about the roads that we take in our lives, how things change as we age, and this book is all about that. This is a very real book about the ordinariness of life, and how secrets and lies and bad decisions can haunt people for years. There is a lot in this book about envy, and how it can be poisonous, but also how we all have our burdens to bear, no matter what our lives look like from the outside.

Just in case you all were wondering, I did get almost caught up on weeding yesterday morning, when it suddenly and dramatically started to pour rain. By the time it stopped I was all showered and made up and did not feel like getting grubby all over again, so hopefully I will get caught up this morning. Although in the afternoon I had a cup of tea and the teabag said “The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement,” and I will say, I felt judged myself. Judged by my own teabag.

Mostly, though, I am excited about the garden and about all the irises that are currently blooming.

Rex is excited about the grass.

May we all have such joy and excitement on a daily basis! xo