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I’m Getting Older, Too; Seventy-Six Weeks In

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On Friday night we had friends over for dinner, friends who we hadn’t seen for over a year, friends who are more like family, who we vacation with and our older sons share a birthday and are only a couple of hours apart, friends who, in the past decade, we would see every few months except for this past year. I baked a cake for my friend’s 50th birthday which is coming up, and having her and the family in our house felt so good, I could cry. I did cry.

I have been feeling very emotional and very, very fortunate. My sons are busy getting ready for school and hanging out with friends for hours and hours; they all meet at the elementary school and play basketball and hang out and go to the 7-11 for Slurpees and hang out some more. All their friends I have known for years, some of them since they were in kindergarten, my older son’s best friend since he was three and they were in preschool together. Their mothers are all my friends and sometimes I think, look at us, look at all of us, with our kids growing up and with our lives all changing. I look at all their friends and I think they are just like they were when they were small, but more so.

Some of my friends have children heading off into the world, flying the nest, going to university or getting apartments or, in one case, getting married. Some of these children I have known their entire lives, I remember holding them as tiny babies and going to baby showers and bearing gifts of Robeez and board books. Some children I knew even before they were born, when their mothers would tell me that they stopped birth control and started “trying.” Those days we all talked about fertility and the cautious excitement of a late period and the elation of the two lines on the pregnancy test and the disappointment when our periods arrived, those days I remember so clearly, and now we all talk about our menopause transitions and how to handle the tidal waves of our periods and our hot flashes.

It’s just life, and it’s such a fortunate one, I am so lucky to be living the one I am, and sometimes I think of all the friends I have made, over the years, friendships based on our children being at the same school and volunteering together. I would recruit my friends to help with the book fair, and then I would in turn be recruited to help with the winter dance or a silent auction or the Stampede breakfast, where there would be tension over flattening pancakes with a spatula to test doneness.

Oh, the things we used to worry about! Will flattening pancakes make them too tough? It didn’t matter anyway, the kids drowned them all in syrup. For the four years I chaired the School Council, these were the three most controversial issues, the issues that caused much tension, debate, and consternation for the council and Parent Association: weed control in the naturalization area, Fun Lunch and the suppliers thereof, and the possibility of introducing Fresh Fruit Friday. These were the biggest issues. You cannot imagine the sleep lost from those issues. You cannot imagine!

I was talking with a friend whose young children go to the same elementary and preschool that my own kids did, and when I mentioned something about the schools, she said I don’t know, I haven’t actually ever been inside them. Covid protocols, which have been in place for the whole time her kids have been at these schools, dictate that parents cannot enter the school property. Imagine! My whole life, when my kids were that age, was defined by being inside the school, I spent hours every week there, I knew every classroom and every teacher, I knew the kids by sight and, due to the book fair, I knew what books they read. I knew how to run the temperamental photocopier and that the school secretary preferred red wine to white and that being on good terms with her was of utmost importance. My whole life and so many of my friendships, women with whom I am good friends to this day, was based on doing things inside the school.

We all moved on from life inside the school to our own lives, and as we’ve gotten older my friends have blossomed and flown in different directions, now that our kids don’t need us to stand at the playground, waiting for them after school. I have seen my friends pursue different careers and interests, and it’s beautiful, but sometimes I miss the camaraderie of the playground, the “circle moms” chatting and waiting for the kids and wondering if we were going to have enough volunteers for the casino or if it was going to snow on Music Monday and would it have to be held inside.

Now the boys start school this week, grades eleven and twelve. Their high school experience has been defined, and will continue to be defined, by Covid. It is defined by masks and sanitizer and uncertainty around whether or not things will be a go. They are currently thrilled that they are allowed lockers this year, after a year of hauling around every single textbook and all their winter gear, not to mention my younger son participating in gym class in his jeans rather than gym clothes, it’s a relief. It’s such a small thing to be thrilled about, but also not.

At some point the pandemic will be behind us. At some point. At some point I won’t be washing masks every day, or scanning the headlines for daily Covid updates, or stepping six feet off the sidewalk to let another person pass by. At some point I will go back to being disappointed by humanity for not returning shopping carts to the carrel, rather than for spreading conspiracy theories and misinformation and, ultimately, deadly disease. At some point, other parents will be allowed inside schools again and will hold book fairs and fundraisers and will be able to meet their children’s teachers in person, rather than on a screen. That won’t be me anymore, as that time has passed, but it might happen for my friend.

It’s hard to imagine, but one day.

Pandemic Reading

One day my reading list will not be prefaced by the word “pandemic,” but that day is not today.

Early Morning Riser. This book was just nothing but good feelings. It is really hard to describe, but it is about family, the family we create in life. It is just the sweetest, most feel-good book I’ve read in a while. If you are a person who really likes thick plots and lots of action, this book is not that. In fact, it’s a little plotless, but it is just wonderful. It takes place in a small town, with a second grade teacher and the town’s handyman, who has slept with pretty much every other woman in town, and his assistant who is developmentally slow. It sounds weird and sort of distasteful, but it truly is a lovely book.

The Guncle. Given my Landslide feelings lately, and the daily horrors of the news on literally every front, I have been seeking out a lot of light and feel-good books. This one did not disappoint! Two children, after the death of their mother and their father going into rehab, go to live with their gay uncle in Palm Springs, known as their “guncle.” My friend Alice (HI ALICE) pointed out that “dead mother, father in rehab” does not sound like the makings of a feel-good book, but it actually really is. This is the author of Lily and the Octopus, which I DO NOT RECOMMEND IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT DOGS WITH CANCER. I cannot stress that enough. But The Guncle is just a fun, sparkly read, and, despite the premise, heart-warming.

The Two Lives of Lydia Bird. It took to page 254 for me to get invested in this story – and the book is 365 pages long. I did not love it. However, the last 100 pages were pretty decent; there was some great messaging about idealizing life as it “could have been” and letting go. The ending, you could see it a mile away, but still, it was nice. I would give this book a solid C, maybe a C+.

Wishing you all a happy and safe start to September! Remember, we can sail through those changing ocean tides. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “I Love My Garden” Edition

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Well, as I write this it is 7 degrees Celsius and we had a huge hailstorm this weekend that mushed flat all my garden beds and flowers. Prior to this, with the heat and the no mosquitoes, I was thinking what was wrong with me all these years, Calgary is not so bad, look at this beautiful summer, and well. Well, complaining gets us nowhere AND I have enjoyed my summer and my garden immensely, and seasons change and so do I. Calgary has many great things about it; the weather is not generally one of them.

Sometimes during the summer I wonder what I do with my time when I don’t have the garden to tend to, which is how I feel now with the weather changed and no need to water or work in the garden. What DO I do with my time? Oh yeah, I usually have a job.

Anyway, I love my garden immoderately. I have been working on the flower beds for twenty years – twenty! – and over the last two years I have delved into herb gardening. This year, as you know, I started my first vegetable garden and it has been so satisfying. I mean, it’s not like we are saving lots of money growing our own vegetables, because it was kind of expensive to build the garden beds and fill them, but it’s been so much fun.

Let’s tour around my garden, shall we?

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “I Love My Garden” Edition

The Perennials

My entire goal with perennials is to have something blooming at all times of the year, so I mix up early and late bloomers, as well as long bloomers, and so there is always something pretty and colourful to look at.

Early spring:

June:

July:

August:

The roses bloom from July until September, as does the yarrow and ornamental sage.

My hostas and creeping Jenny are quite stunted this year, partly because of the hot, dry weather, and partly because Barkley, in his dotage, has decided to walk through them several times a day. If admonished, he stands in them, staring at me in a what are you going to do kind of way, and since there is nothing I am going to do to discipline a 13-year-old dog with cancer, I guess I’ll live with my stunted shade garden.

Speaking of Barkley, every single day when we are walking – every day! – someone will stop me to ask “what’s wrong with your dog?” and it gets very tiresome. While I appreciate the sentiment of concern, I very much dislike the conversation that follows, and I am much too polite not to answer. I prefer the days when people would stop me to tell me how cute he is or to ask about his breed. He’s still cute and I still think Labradoodles are a wonderful breed! Please don’t ask about his giant growth on his side.

The Annuals

Over the years I have used annuals to fill in the blanks in my perennial garden beds, but now there…are no blanks. I use annuals mostly in containers in our very dry and shady front yard, as well as this pretty little one in our very sunny back yard:

The Herbs

I cook every single day but apparently, I don’t use many fresh herbs. The past few years I’ve been buying an assorted ten-pack of herbs from a fundraiser, and while I’ve enjoyed the element of surprise as to which herbs I’ve received, I’m not going to do that again. I only ever use fresh cilantro, basil, and oregano, and the rest I just water and…do nothing with. Well, not nothing. I am in the process of drying all the herbs for winter use – I do use a lot of dried herbs, but I don’t tend to use recipes with dried herbs in the summer.

If you’re interested in drying herbs, I really recommend a dehydrator. Also? Basil is a bitch to dry, with the thick leaves. As an example, parsley takes about two hours to dry in a dehydrator, and basil takes…a lot longer. I have no idea how much longer because I kept checking it over the course of two days, discovering the leaves still weren’t dry, and then restarting the dehydrator, only to forget about it for hours at a time.

Last year I attempted mint extract and it was a complete failure. I am not sure if it was user error or if I had the wrong kind of mint; I have so much mint this year and nothing to do with it. I might try the extract again, but I’m not sure if I want to waste the vodka on it.

The Veggies

This is my first year of veggie gardening; the guys built and filled five garden boxes for me, and I really recommend this kind of gardening. I’m a bendy kind of girl, but having the raised beds is just wonderful. Also, Barkley pees on the side of the garden boxes, and if the beds were in the ground he would be peeing on our vegetables, which seems suboptimal.

This year we grew radishes, carrots, beets, lettuce, kale, peas, potatoes, tomatoes, and zucchini with a lot of success, although I will say that next year I will use seed tape for the smaller seeds as I am terrible at thinning things out. I also tried peppers and cucumbers, which were unsuccessful – unsurprising, perhaps, but if there was any summer they could grow it would have been this one, with the heat.

I think next year I will increase the amount of kale, decrease the carrots, and omit the radishes altogether. I thought I would enjoy growing carrots more than I do; although if I use seed tape it’s sure to be more satisfying than my tiny, unthinned carrots.

Our growing season is so short here; at best, I have another month, but realistically we could get frost any day now, and snow in September is not unusual. I’ve made the best of the growing season, and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts! Do you garden? Tell me everything. xo

Summer’s Almost Gone; Seventy-Five Weeks In

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I don’t think I can adequately describe the relief I felt when I received an email from the Calgary Board of Education, stating that not only would masks be mandatory for students K-12, but all other health protocols would remain in place. With the Delta variant of Covid cases skyrocketing, again, and the general mask mandate dropped in the province, I was somewhat concerned about in-person school. I just want my kids to go to school for the year, and maybe even see my oldest have a graduation ceremony, is that too much to wish for. But I was so happy to get the email about masking; masks kept us all so healthy last year – we’ve never had such an illness-free year – and with all of us fully vaccinated, I feel even better.

I was feeling less happy to see that school starts not on September 7, like I thought it did, but September 1, which means this is the last week of summer, I’m not ready. I am just not in the headspace yet, but I’ll get there, and meanwhile, our hot summer weather ended abruptly and now it’s cool and rainy and it feels like fall. The universe is trying to prepare me, is what I’m saying.

August is a month where I always feel a little glum and melancholy and Landslide-y, and the grey, chilly, rainy days are exacerbating those feelings. Well, these days are good for getting things done in the house – when it’s warm and sunny I spend most of my day outdoors, and there were a few things I really did want to get done before school starts (NEXT WEEK OMG) and I get back to teaching yoga and we are all busy with our fall schedules. Like making jam.

My husband reminds me that we have air conditioning, if I want to make jam on a warm day I can, but I never do want to do that. Jam making is for chilly days, I will die on this hill and also we have many months of chilly days, but few warm ones.

So Many Empty Boxes

One of the things I have wanted to accomplish practically since the pandemic hit was to clean out our storage/ furnace room. My husband, god bless him, likes to keep the original boxes of any electronic equipment while said equipment is under warranty, just in case there’s an issue. The problem is that he never gets rid of the boxes after the warranty expires, and therefore we have perfectly good storage shelves that are jammed full of empty boxes. We still had the PS4 box from Christmas 2014, for example, along with boxes for stereo equipment we no longer own.

Summer is coming to an end, the pandemic has been going on for seventy-five weeks, I go back to teaching in two weeks, IT IS TIME TO CLEAN OUT THE FURNACE ROOM. I took out every single box, rearranged everything, and was able to put all the bins full of childhood art and school projects, bicycle gear, and assorted sports things ACTUALLY IN THE STORAGE ROOM instead of behind my son’s drum set. He’s thrilled that he no longer hits his elbow on the bins when he’s practicing.

This is the van full of cardboard my older son and I took to the recycle depot, and doesn’t include the three garbage bags full of packing materials, RIP our earth, that came out of the boxes.

Not one day after The Big Cleanup, my husband – in a typical act of service to make my life easier – had ordered some new windshield wiper blades for my car. As he grabbed his keys for the garage, he said “Don’t throw out these boxes, just in case these blades don’t fit.” Dear reader. I answered him with a look only and, fortunately for our marriage and everyone involved, they DID fit and my husband subsequently recycled the boxes.

No YouTube Videos On How To Break In To Your House

Speaking of the garage, a couple of weeks ago older son went to get out the lawn mower, and couldn’t unlock the garage door. We typically lock the person door with just the knob, rather than the deadbolt, and while the key fit in the knob, it wouldn’t open. Obviously the automatic openers for the big car door were in the cars that were locked in the garage, and the keypad has not worked for years. My husband searched up YouTube videos but to no avail: all videos instructed what to do if you were locked INSIDE a house, rather than outside, because I guess YouTube doesn’t want to advertise how to break into someone’s home.

Anyway, it was either call a locksmith or actually break down the door, and we took the former option. We now have a garage door that locks by deadbolt only, in case such a thing should happen again. Unfortunately, we are all in the muscle memory mode of just twisting and locking the knob, and the number of times I’ve thought oh yeah, I need the key to lock the door over the past couple of weeks is extensive.

Burn Baby Burn

Remember how my son, after his braces removal, wanted to burn all his orthodontic elastics, and, failing that, his masks? This is what happened on the Annual Boys’ Camping Trip:

Pyromaniac dreams do come true, I guess. You are still going to need masks! I admonished him after seeing these photos, but he countered with a) it was just one mask, and b) that mask was unravelling anyway. Was it? Was it really? Well, he does have at least eight other masks, and it’s not hard to get masks now anyway, and what happens on the Annual Boys’ Camping Trip stays on the Annual Boys’ Camping Trip.

I Have Found My People

You all know how I feel about Thoreau and, also, many of the widely celebrated male authors/ fictional characters (Jay Gatsby, I’m looking at you). So I was so excited to discover this podcast:

The Fuckbois of Literature! If you, like me, think that maybe a person can’t claim to be self-sustaining while living intentionally in the woods when his mother is bringing him sandwiches and doing his laundry, then this is the podcast for you.

I’ll Take The Rapists For $500, Alex

On Peloton, people have the option to add a hashtag to their user profile, and those hashtags are used to connect with other people. Sometimes the hashtag has to do with a favourite instructor – I, for example, am part of the #yestoyoucrew and my son is a #denismenace – sometimes it concerns career choices, interests, or life in general, like #teachersofpeloton, #pelotonmoms, #peloforwine, #pelotonsingles.

I was riding the other day and the person on the leaderboard ahead of me had the hashtag #therapistsofpeloton and friends, it took me a really long time to realize that it was therapists of Peloton and not the rapists of Peloton. I spent some time being shocked that a) someone would cop to being a rapist, and b) there was a whole group of rapists, connecting through exercise.

In my defense, it was pretty early in the morning and I hadn’t yet drank my whole pot of coffee.

Outfit of the Week

I’m really glad I posted all those summery outfits, because SUMMER IS OVER and it’s time to pull out my jeans, socks, and long-sleeve shirts. This top dates from 2016, and I bought it in the small town where my parents live. Isn’t it cute? It’s great for this kind of weather as it’s too thin for winter, but great for a typical Calgary summer day!

The whole reason I have started the Outfit of the Week was to appreciate and express gratitude for my wardrobe; I am thinking about taking it off the blog and onto Instagram only, where outfits of the week belong. You all know I love clothes; I love reading fashion blogs and I love seeing Outfit of the Day posts. If you, like me, also enjoy seeing what people are wearing, you can check it out on Instagram. If you’ve hated my OOTW, lucky you! No more scrolling by to get to my weekly reading list.

Pandemic Reading List

The Soulmate Equation. I have read and enjoyed a few books from Christina Lauren, and this one did not disappoint. It’s just a very sweet and fun romance with very loveable characters. The main character is a single mom and freelance statistician (how often does that happen in a romance book, the statisticians are highly underrepresented in fiction) who is matched up with the founder of a DNA-based matchmaking company. Throw in her energetic seven-year-old and her romance-writer best friend, and you have got yourself a feel-good read.

Think Like A Monk. This book was so inspiring! As you know, I love the idea of living a peaceful and purposeful life, and this book deals with the kind of mindsets that work towards such an ideal. From feeding your brain positive material to finding your life’s calling, this book is full of wisdom and inspiration.

I discovered that I have a LOT of internal work to do. I enjoyed this book so much I started listening to the author’s podcast, and the first one I listened to had an interview with an absolutely lovely young woman, who spoke intelligently and with great enthusiasm about overcoming trials in life, the biggest being the death of her mother when she was a teenager. She was witty and smart and spoke about her work to empower young girls and women, and after the podcast I looked up the show notes to see who this remarkable young woman was. The link took me to her Instagram account, and people: if I had seen her Instagram first, I would have never listened to the podcast. I would have completely dismissed her as having nothing to say, and I would have been very wrong. It was a wake-up call that I need to examine my own biases as a person. Well, it’s a journey. We all have work to do.

And on that note, it’s Monday of the LAST WEEK OF SUMMER and although it doesn’t feel summery, I am going to embrace it. I hope you do too. xo

You’ve Got Questions, I’ve Got Answers

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Last week, I asked you to ask me questions, and ask you did! Thank you so much – this was really fun! Here we go!

Books and Reading

Ally asked: My question is: given your druthers, which book genre is your favorite? And why? I will put this question together with one of Suzanne’s, which is What are, in your opinion, the best books of all time?

I’ve been thinking about Ally’s question all week, because I’m not sure if there is a specific name for my favourite genre. For my entire life, I have strongly preferred books that feature a female protagonist, and that follow that protagonist’s life. I like books that delve into the details of people’s lives; I think people are endlessly fascinating, and that everyone has a story. I am also a “Can Lit” girl, and to that end, two of my favourite authors are Margaret Atwood and Alice Munro; I love a good solid short story and I love books about women. I vastly prefer women’s writing over men’s, and I prefer a deep dive into an individual’s life, rather than a grand epic. In terms of genre, it’s almost easier to say what I DON’T like: I don’t like dystopian, fantasy, horror, or sci-fi, and I don’t tend to like mysteries much, although I’ve read a few lately and I do like to keep my mind open. In terms of best books of all time, the ones that I have loved the most are: Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood, Lives of Girls and Women by Alice Munro, Diary of a Provincial Lady by EM Delafield, and Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Any of those would be my “desert island” books, along with this really great meditation book I’ve been reading called Wake Up To The Joy In You, although if I was on a desert island, I am not sure the life advice in it would be necessary. Still, an excellent book about becoming your best self and embracing life.

Anna asked: My questions are when do you read and how do you read so fast!! I’ve always been a fast reader, and I generally block off time to read every day. A few years ago I discovered the “screen time report” on my phone and I was appalled to see how much time I wasted mindlessly scrolling, and so I’ve tried to take that time back to concentrate on books. I generally read a solid hour in the evenings, sometimes more, and then I read in little chunks throughout the day – when I’m having lunch, or if I’m waiting for an appointment, or if I’m stirring pasta sauce. I think it probably all adds up to about two hours a day of reading, sometimes more, sometimes less. This summer, with my yoga teaching on hold, I have been reading more than that.

These Are A Few Of My Least Favourite Things

Suzanne asked: What are some of your top pet peeves? OMG PEOPLE WHO DO NOT RETURN THEIR GROCERY CARTS TO THE CART CARREL THOSE PEOPLE ARE MONSTERS. Grocery carts are, of course, my trigger, but I also include actions that would make someone else’s life easier but are left undone, and that would require only a tiny amount of effort: not holding a door or elevator for someone, not allowing a car to merge into a lane, not gesturing to the mom with a baby and only a few groceries to go first in line. I also hate when a job is 99% done but LEFT UNDONE: as an example, the people I live with are excellent at changing the toilet paper roll or putting another bar of soap in the shower, but then they LEAVE THE EMPTY ROLL AND SOAP BOX ON THE COUNTER INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT IN THE RECYCLE BIN, THAT SAME RECYCLE BIN THEY ALL WALK PAST DOZENS OF TIMES A DAY. The same goes for the juice container that sits, rinsed out and empty, on the kitchen island.

I also hate when the grocery store changes their product layout and I find myself walking down each aisle, looking for my everyday items and wondering why the cereal is now with the aluminum foil, and why the peppermint extract is now with spices and not with baking needs.

Love and Marriage

Ernie asked: I’m wondering how you met your husband and maybe what your first date was, or if you knew right away he was THE ONE? Oh, ho, this is funny. So, I met my husband when he was a grad student and I was a fourth-year honour student preparing to be a grad student, and we were both studying economics. My first thought was “He’s pretty hot to be in economics,” which I still stand by. At the time, I had an on-again-off-again boyfriend, but we became friends and went out frequently for coffee and to movies. This went on for almost TWO YEARS, and I had broken up with my boyfriend and gone out on several dates with other guys during that time, and he dated some girls as well.

At some point, when you’ve been friends with a guy for almost two years, you just figure that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you, even if there’s all sorts of sexy tension and you find yourself looking into each other’s eyes a lot and finding excuses to sit close to each other and accidentally touch each other on the knee and whatnot. God, I can’t stand it, I said to a girlfriend, It’s just never going to happen and I have to accept it.

Three weeks after that statement, we started dating, and by “dating” I mean basically going out like we always did, but also, um, having sex. Hilariously, the night we started “dating” we were supposed to go see the movie The Full Monty, and I guess I did actually see A Full Monty, but not The Full Monty.

Suzanne asked: What are your secrets to a happy marriage? Lots of Full Monty! Ha! I kid. Well, I’m not totally kidding – I do think intimacy is very important, and during a pandemic with teens at home all day every day things get…challenging to schedule, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Honestly, I think one of the keys to a harmonious marriage is to really calmly communicate and to think before speaking, which can be challenging when people leave empty toilet paper rolls on the bathroom countertop. I also think it’s really important to accept the person your spouse is – empty toilet paper roll notwithstanding – and to realize that people express their love in different ways. My husband, for example, is a person who carefully and thoroughly researches everything, and makes purchases based on things he thinks will make my life better or easier, and those things always DO make my life better or easier. I, on the other hand, am not great at choosing gifts but I am good at doing things that make our life smooth and harmonious. My husband would never buy me flowers – he’s allergic – but when I mentioned, years ago, I was thinking about getting a dehydrator to make kale chips, he carefully looked into it, read every review, and then the Excalibur ended up on my doorstep one day.

You never really know what goes on in someone else’s marriage, and what makes it tick, but I think that putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes and being empathetic is important, as is not taking each other for granted, which, as we know, is easier said than done. Sometimes I get all up in arms thinking no one is appreciating my efforts, but then I think did I appreciate HIS efforts lately? and when I do, I find that he also does.

Family, Etc

Suz asked: Do you have any siblings? If you don’t have siblings, do you have cousins that are like siblings? I have two brothers, and between them I have a wonderful sister-in-law, eight nieces and nephews, and one great-niece! To paraphrase my friend Trudy (HI TRUDY) I knew I was good, but now I’m GREAT! I also have thirty-one first cousins! So, it’s a large family.

My husband has been watching Ted Lasso, and at the end of the season there’s a line about the family you’re born with, and the family you create along the way. I am so lucky to have friends who are like sisters to me – you girls know who you are!

Food, Etc.

Gigi asked: As for my question – what is your most decadent indulgence – the one that no matter the cost (or calories) it will always be in your home? I always, always have red wine in the house, usually a case worth at least. I always have baking on hand, and chocolate, but those are more for the guys than for me – wine is my indulgence. I hesitate to write this, because it sounds absolutely obnoxious, but in terms of cost, I never skimp in the produce aisle. I like to make dinners the way I like them and while I loosely stick to a grocery budget, when it comes to vegetables I am willing to pay whatever the cost. I have paid $10 for a tiny head of cauliflower, and if peppers are $6.99 a pound, I will still buy ten of them. I know what that sounds like – vegetables are my indulgence – but I guess I’m not willing at this point in my life to go without the things I like.

Suzanne asked: Desert island foods, films, books, music? Do you ever get weirdly obsessed with something? Like, I kept thinking what kind of desert island, would it be like Lord of the Flies or Blue Lagoon? Or Gilligan’s Island? Are these things I would take on a three-hour tour or what? Anyway, weird thoughts notwithstanding, I answered the books piece above, and as for films, I’m going to go with When Harry Met Sally, the single greatest movie of all time. I would take my “Nicole Karaoke” Spotify playlist, and as for foods, my number one favourite, I-could-eat-this-every-day meal is Greek salad with hummus and pita. Also coffee. If there’s no coffee, I would be 100% alone on the desert island due to murder.

Putting The Om in OMG

Suzanne asked: Do you have any life mottos you return to often? Or maybe the best/most useful advice you’ve ever gotten? My favourite motto, and one I try to live by, is “Bloom where you are planted.” Throughout my life, through different stages, jobs, and positions, I try to bloom. Two recent mottos that I have adopted are “Embrace the season” and, from my recent Anne reading, “If you can’t shine like a star, shine like a candlestick.” One of my favourite pieces of advice is from my dear friend Allison (HI ALLISON), for when I’m in a difficult or uncomfortable situation: “There will be a time after this.” It has helped me get through many awkward times.

Anna asked: When you do your AM yoga do you follow a plan or do it on your own? Namaste! I have been a long-time Ashtanga practitioner, which follows a set sequence of asana. Up until the pandemic, I practiced Mysore-style Ashtanga, which is essentially a “practice at your own pace, and a teacher helps you when you need it” kind of practice. It set me up perfectly for a pandemic home practice; after years of practice I just automatically flow through the postures, so it is truly a moving meditation. Until 2019, I practiced into the second series, but after injuring my hip while running I focused on healing and gentleness with myself, and now I mainly practice a modified primary series, omitting six postures which are hard on my hip, with extra planks and backbends thrown in. Some days I only do the standing sequence followed by a long meditation, some days I do a restorative practice, but I always get on my mat, whether it be for five minutes or an hour. It sets me up for my day.

Well, this was very fun! Thanks everyone for your questions, and, blog friends, I encourage you to put the “ask me anything” question out to your readers, it is a fun way to connect. Until next time! xo

Who Moved My…Clothes; Seventy-Four Weeks In

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Every evening I choose a yoga/ workout outfit, complete with hairband and scrunchie, and I set those things in the bathroom; that way, when I wake up early I just slip into my clothes and I’m ready for my yoga practice and workout, without having to disturb anyone. I have been doing this essentially every day since 2008; it’s just part of my day.

I had plans for a big hike with my friends Janet and Susan (HI JANET HI SUSAN) on Tuesday, so Monday night I had packed up my backpack with clothing layers and water bottles, I had set out my hiking boots and poles, I had a lunch in the fridge and my hiking clothes set out on the table, AND I had my yoga clothes in the bathroom, so I could do a nice stretchy practice before a 15 km hike.

Tuesday morning, around 4:15 am, I started the coffee maker and headed to the bathroom to get dressed, and there were no yoga clothes. Confused, I stumbled back out to look at the table where my hiking gear was: no yoga clothes. I looked all over, including pawing through the kids’ laundry baskets – in the dark – and no yoga clothes. I finally tiptoed back into the bedroom, quietly grabbed a couple of pieces, and got dressed.

Have you ever became completely obsessed and crazy about something that is really very small? It doesn’t seem like a big thing, but it was. Usually I am able to focus on my breathing during my practice, but I was completely frazzled. Where were my clothes? I clearly remembered choosing the outfit – grey pants and a striped tank – and my hair accoutrements were in the bathroom, where were my clothes? Did I put them in the fridge? Did I put them in the hall cupboard with the towels? Did I throw them in the garbage? Did I lose my mind? DID SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE STEAL MY CLOTHES AND IF SO, WHY.

I’m generally fairly chill about a lot of things but apparently, losing my clothes in my own small house is not one of them. I cannot even describe the weird agitation I was feeling, or the feeling of complete relief and befuddlement when I went into my son’s room a second time to look through his laundry basket and – since the sun was up by this time – discovered the clothes lying on his floor beside the laundry basket. Long, incredibly boring story short, he had showered, gathered up his clothes along with, unwittingly, mine, and went to bed in the dark, dropping his clothes in his basket and my clothes, somehow, on the floor.

I don’t know either.

I kept thinking about the guy I worked with, twenty years ago, who read Who Moved My Cheese and told me it was the worst and stupidest book he had ever read in his life; on that kind of recommendation I have never read it, but whenever something is misplaced I think of him.

Anyway, the hike was fabulous and I had some really good Girl Time with my friends. Janet and Susan are the kind of women who are uplifting, inspiring, and so much fun to be around that I was just buzzing for the rest of the day. The guys had gone camping and when I got home to my empty house, my neighbour shared some vegetarian Greek food he had picked up at the Greek market, which was the cherry on top of a sundae of a day.

Speaking of Girl Time, I have been thinking a lot about female friendship and the various forms it takes. This was instigated from my reading of the Anne books, and particularly this week’s reading of Anne’s House of Dreams (more below). One of the characters, Leslie, is consumed by jealousy over Anne’s seemingly perfect life – Leslie’s life is just terrible and tragic, and their friendship, such as it is, is very much darkened by her feelings of jealousy and unfairness. It made me think a lot about the cultural narrative we have that we should hate women who have something that we do not. Why is this a thing? From Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful to She thinks she’s ALL THAT to my least-favourite line from my favourite movie, What does she look like? Thin, pretty, big tits…your basic nightmare. I mean, Janet has the most beautiful hair you have ever seen in your life – I’m not kidding, it’s long and thick and wavy, and she literally just washes it and goes, IT IS EFFORTLESSLY BEAUTIFUL. If I could somehow transplant her hair onto my head, I would, but instead I just admire it. But this is the point: although I covet her hair I don’t HATE her, quite the opposite, I love her to death. It’s my goal in life to be happy for people who have things that I never will, not just hair, but anything, and to not let jealousy get in the way of friendship or admiration.

In a horrible twist, Anne and Leslie become very good friends, but only after Anne suffers a terrible tragedy: her very much wanted first baby dies one day after birth. At that point, Leslie can see that we are all human and we all suffer, and, incidentally, things end up turning out really well for her in the end.

It’s a good lesson, really, we are all in this life together; jealousy gets us nowhere. The older I get, and the further away from the hectic intensity of parenting younger children, the more I appreciate and value the women in my life. We all have our wonderful gifts, and, to quote L.M. Montgomery, “If you can’t shine like a star, shine like a candlestick.”

Outfit of the Week

Almost every week this summer, I have thought I’d better post a really summery outfit, who knows how long this weather will last! We have had just the loveliest weather, and NO MOSQUITOES, which is unheard of. UNHEARD OF. Therefore, another summery outfit it is!

Yes, another skort from lulu and yes, another tank top from Old Navy, and I will go to my grave saying that Old Navy has the very best fitting tank tops at the very best prices.

Pandemic Reading

The Anne Series – Part Two. As I mentioned last week, I have been rereading the Anne series and I’m going to just put a “spoiler alert” here for anyone who does not want to know what happened in a book written a century ago.

Anne of Windy Poplars. After I finished Anne of the Island, I thought “Yay, House of Dreams is next!” and excitedly ran downstairs to retrieve it, only to discover that the next book was Anne of Windy Poplars. I HAVE read this book before but it made very little impression on me, the only thing I really remembered from it was sad sack Katherine-with-a-K. The book itself is a strange format, and very different from the preceding books: it is almost exclusively made up of letters from Anne, working as a school principal, to Gilbert, who is in medical school. The strangeness of it can be explained by the fact that it was written in 1936, when Island and House of Dreams were written in 1915 and 1917, respectively. Montgomery had a sad life and was battling depression, and was keeping her family financially afloat with her writing, particularly at this time of life.

Anne’s House of Dreams. I love this book; it is the most interesting of the Anne books. It has some very dark storylines and it also introduces three really great characters: Miss Cornelia, Susan, and Leslie. Miss Cornelia is the ultimate “lift up other women” woman, whose catchphrase “Isn’t that just like a man?” I want to adopt for my own. “I’m not hankering after the vote, believe me. I know what it is to clean up after the men.” What a line! Susan is the devoted housekeeper – “Do not worry about the pantry, Mrs. Doctor, dear. Susan is at the helm,” and Leslie is the afore-mentioned beautiful woman who has the most tragic life: married off at 16 to save her mother from losing her home, to a man who is an alcoholic and has probably impregnated and left a “girl from the harbour,” although this is alluded to very circuitously.

The darkest of the storylines, as I mentioned, is that Anne has a baby, and that baby dies. It’s terribly sad and dark, and as an adult it reads so differently: when she has “dreams” (read: is pregnant) again, a “grim shadow” follows her throughout the pregnancy. Ah, my heart wrenched reading that part. Montgomery had three sons, one of whom was stillborn, which makes the story even sadder.

Anne of Ingleside. This is kind of a strange book. I think it is because this was written in 1939, so far after the original series, and even after Rilla of Ingleside, which chronologically comes after Anne of Ingleside. It deals mostly with Anne’s children and their adventures, but it also has some very adult themes as well, like marital issues and problems with in-laws. Gilbert’s aunt, for example, comes to stay for a week and ends up staying almost a year, wreaking havoc on the household, but Gilbert will not tell her to leave. Finally she leaves on her own volition when Anne throws a surprise birthday party for her – she is appalled that everyone knows her advanced age, WHICH IS 55. Welp. There is also a storyline about Anne thinking Gilbert is falling in love with his old flame, but it’s all a miscommunication. Anne thinks the spark is gone, and laments how they take each other for granted and her own aging looks and exhaustion from looking after many small children and DO WE ALL FEEL SEEN BY A CHILDREN’S BOOK FROM THE 1930S OR IS IT JUST ME. “Well, that was life…always change! You had to let the old go and take the new to your heart…learn to love it and then let it go in turn.” Wise words, Anne. She gets the Landslide.

Invincible Summer. Someone recommended this book – who was it? I liked it – didn’t LOVE it, but liked it a lot. It follows four friends after university graduation through the ups and downs of adult life, going from that starry idealism and invincibility of youth to the times where the shit hits the fan. I found this particularly interesting to read as the characters graduate the same year I finished my undergrad, so all of the events were relevant to my own life. A satisfying read, to be sure.

THANK YOU to everyone who asked me questions last week – the answers are coming up soon! In the meantime, let’s enjoy the rest of the summer, and I hope the sun is shining where you are. If it’s not, shine like a candlestick, my friends. xo

Friday the 13th Fun: Ask Me Anything, and Five For Friday

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It has been SO LONG since I’ve spontaneously written a post, and on a Friday to boot! Since the pandemic, I have had very limited blocks of time and physical space in which to write, and it’s all I can do to write weekly recaps and monthly Favourite Things. Do not get me wrong, dear readers, I am here to entertain, but my blog is primarily a journal of my life, and at some point when this pandemic is no longer at the disco, I will want to look back at the weekly recaps to see where we were at during different time periods.

However! The stars have aligned and I have some time and space to write, so write I shall.

Ask Me Anything

I was inspired by my friend Suz (HI SUZ) to open up this space a little by asking you to Ask Me Anything. Ask me a question and the answer will be the subject of an upcoming blog! IS there anything you don’t know and want to know? I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I’m not too shy with details, so hopefully there is a stone or two left unturned.

Five For Friday

I was also inspired by Stephany (HI STEPHANY) to write a “Five For Friday” post. Fun fact: both Stephany and Suz live in Florida, which is about as far away from me as one can get before leaving the continent. Don’t you just love the virtual world, how we can be essentially pen pals with people from all over?

1) It looks like I will be teaching four yoga classes a week, in person, starting in September. I am very mixed about it, given the current “fourth wave” of Covid cases, but also I cannot bear the thought of teaching online anymore. I know several friends who have thrived as online yoga teachers, but I frankly find it stressful and exhausting, especially for my seniors. My very favourite thing about teaching yoga is seeing my students and having that connection with them (cue The Bachelor music) and so teaching online has been very difficult emotionally for me. And yet, with Covid cases surging once again, well…I feel like I am at a crossroads, to be honest. We shall see how it goes. If I’ve learned anything over the past *checks blog* seventy-three weeks, it’s that nothing is forever and changes can always be made and I am much more adaptable than I think I am.

2) I have discovered that I am an Extroverted Introvert. I desperately need time by myself to recharge; hence my early morning rising, my affinity for solo exercise, and all the time I spend reading, but at the same time, I love people. I love being around people, and on that note, we are having dinner guests this weekend for the first time since February 2020. I’m excited, not only to see this lovely couple, but also because two of the dishes I’m making feature vegetables from my garden; specifically kale and zucchini. You guys, I have so much zucchini. I think zucchini is the most satisfying thing to grow, other than leaf lettuce, as it is so prolific.

3) Every day I feel gratitude to the universe that I do not have a nut allergy. Nuts comprise a huge part of my diet, but I am starting to move away from almond milk. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still eating almonds and almond butter, but I feel like my past consumption of almond milk is somewhat environmentally disastrous. I’ve started using macadamia nut milk in my smoothies – is it better than almond? I hope so. – and you guys, it is revolutionary. It’s so rich and creamy, with a really delicious flavour, and it has the same amount of calcium as almond milk, which is what attracted me to almond milk in the first place.

4) Speaking of calcium, I have been reading a lot about osteoporosis and menopause, and the importance of a strength routine for healthy bone density. To that end, my sons created an upper body strength routine for me and good lord, do I hate it. I mean, I’m DOING it, and maybe I’ll grow to like it, but I find strength training so very boring. I listen to upbeat music while “lifting” (can you call it “lifting” if you use five pound weights?) and that helps somewhat. It feels like a chore; any suggestions to make strength training more interesting, I’m all ears.

Meep meep! I’m a big weight!

5) My aunt sent me some royal family memorabilia, and I’m thrilled. After some thought and a poll on Instagram, I have decided that I am going to USE the mugs, maybe not every day, but I’m not going to just put them in a cupboard. Can we all agree that we should use the good things, the things that make us happy, every day? I don’t want to be like one of those old ladies who keeps the furniture covered with plastic or the table covered with a wipeable tablecloth just to “save it.” Imagine going through your whole life and dying, having never drank coffee out of your Queen Elizabeth mug. That feels tragic.

Happy Friday, everyone! I’ll be enjoying this immensely beautiful weather with a few backyard cocktails today while watching my zucchini grow. Don’t forget – ask me anything! And tell me: do you use the Good Stuff? xo

Bits and Bobs; Seventy Three Weeks In

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Bo Duke Channels Elvis

On the long drive home from vacation, I learned that John Schneider – of Dukes of Hazzard fame – had a hit song in the 70s, covering Elvis’ It’s Now or Never. Not only that, but he had a fairly successful career as a country singer AND co-founded the Children’s Miracle Network in 1983. WHO KNEW.

Does anyone else remember, in the late 80s, when Bruce Willis had a hit song under the alias Bruno, and it was a cover of Respect Yourself? I actually didn’t even know it was a cover until I recently heard the original, to be honest. And, of course, Eddie Murphy rocked the charts with his Party All The Time, and Patrick Swayze dominated our junior high slow dances with She’s Like The Wind.

The 80s were a magical time.

Put Your Records On

Not a day goes by that I don’t feel immense gratitude for Spotify. What an age we live in. Back in those magical 80s, we either had to buy whole albums, or create our own mix tapes from songs on the radio, and inevitably those radio-recorded songs had the jingle for the station or chatter from the DJ at the beginning or end. There were, of course, hit mixes available for purchase – remember those old informercials on TV that would offer six or eight albums worth of hits from different eras and genres, all for a weirdly prohibitive price? Ultimately, if you loved a song, you had to pay for it in some way: either through purchase of an album or with your time, finger poised on the “record” button of your tape recorder during the Top Ten at Ten.

Now, of course, any song is available to me at any time. Yes, I still pay for it – Spotify isn’t free, or not the version we have – but our family gets more than its money’s worth.

However, and I find this interesting, my older son is very into listening to WHOLE ALBUMS on Spotify. He listens from beginning to end and appreciates the artistic flow of the songs, and album themes. It’s very fun to discuss albums with him, like Dark Side of the Moon or The White Album.

When the boys were very small, I would listen to Kanye West’s Late Registration in the car almost constantly, so much so that one day my two-year-old said to my mom, “Grandma, I ain’t got no money so I ain’t got no ho’s,” and my one-year-old said to that same long-suffering mother of mine, “We want prenup.” After that I didn’t listen to it quite as much, at least when the kids were in the car, but the CD has been in my glove box all this time, the discovery of which by my son and his music-loving friend reinforced my status as The Cool Mom. Apparently, it is One of the Greatest Albums of All Time, and we listened to it on the long drive home from vacation.

You guys, it’s really good! Say what you will about ‘Ye, but that album is truly a creative masterpiece, with so much social commentary. You know the best medicine goes to people who paid, if Magic Johnson got a cure for AIDS, and all the broke motherfuckers pass away.

Speaking of Which

My sister-in-law discovered that her and my husband’s late grandma was a huge fan of Jackie Kennedy, as being the first Catholic First Lady. This discovery was made when my sister-in-law found stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers featuring the style icon, and let me tell you, going through them was an experience.

This one was probably my favourite, not because of Jackie but because of this:

Rock Hudson! Crazy games he plays with women! Perhaps those crazy games include not having sex with them. God, how sad. Once again I am thankful to live in the modern age where, not only can we call up John Schneider’s Greatest Hits at will, but people can be free to be themselves.

Also, you don’t tend to see matches like this anymore:

She was 19 and he was 50! Hoo boy. Although I just found out that Cary Grant retired from acting at age 62 to spend time with his first and only child. At age 62. You know, biology is cruel. Here we women are, hot flashing all over the place in our forties, considered by society to be well past our prime, and then men are fathering children literally any time in their adult lives. Not that I would want a baby at 62 – I certainly don’t want one NOW, in my forties – but still.

Calendar Girl

“Hey, the girl on the calendar looks just like you!” my husband said, looking at an Investor’s Group promotional calendar. The boys gathered around and expressed their amazement at my doppelgänger.

I mean. IS that me? Did someone from Investor’s Group photograph me in secret? In any case, this means I could have a whole career of calendar modelling ahead of me! I could be a pinup girl! Perhaps this will be my future.

Outfit of the Week

We are still having A Summer; the weather continues hot and dry. I am getting so much wear out of my skorts this year. This is just a nice, cool, comfy outfit: black skort and yoga tank, both from lululemon, plus Skechers sandals.

Also, I got my hair cut this week! Possibly I should have taken a “before” photo, but I got an inch and a half of frayed, dry, rough ends cut off.

Pandemic Reading

When You Are Engulfed In Flames. My love for David Sedaris is well documented, but what is up with the cover photo? I don’t know. Anyway, this book of essays is a great mix of laugh-out-loud anecdotes mixed with thought-provoking stories. About a third of this book is one long essay about quitting smoking and moving to, of all places, Tokyo for three months.

Songs At The River’s Edge. About twenty years ago, I read an excerpt from this book in a women’s travel anthology; the excerpt dealt with a village woman’s marriage and subsequent move to her husband’s family’s bari, or homestead. After reading that, I wanted to read the whole book but alas, it was out of print. Something made me think of it again and through the magic of the internet, I found a used copy on Amazon. It was so worth the wait! In 1987, the author, doing post-graduate work in social anthropology, lives with a family in rural Bangladesh for sixteen months. I found this incredibly fascinating. I love reading about the lives of women in other cultures, even when some of the stories are heartbreakingly sad. The main theme for women is shame; to be a woman is to be naturally mired in shame. They are essentially powerless; the marriage that first intrigued me is arranged, but the woman doesn’t find out that she is to be married until it’s almost her wedding day. Women get married and then must live with their in-laws, only returning to their own families when they are about to have babies. So the women are powerless, but in some ways they are powerful, the women truly look after each other and have strong bonds which we don’t really see in our culture. The family life is so rich and intertwined, and the people live truly based on the seasons. I just loved this book and, if you are interested in Bengali culture and traditional Islamic beliefs, I recommend it to you.

The Anne Series – Part One.

Since I was pausing my library holds for vacation, I extended that pause until the 10th in order to read a few of the books on my shelves, like the ones above. I decided I was going to reread the Anne series, a childhood favourite of mine. Will I finish before my holds come in? Spoiler alert: no. I accidentally ended one of my pauses on the 3rd and a book has already come in, however, I shall press on and do my best. So far, this is what I’ve read:

Anne of Green Gables. The OG! This book details Anne’s accidental arrival at Green Gables – Marilla and Matthew wanted a boy to help with the farm work, but famously ended up with Anne. Just like my adult reread of Heidi, a few pretty grim things struck me: the families who took Anne in prior to the Cuthberts were using her just as childcare, even though she was only 11 by the time she went to Green Gables, and one of those families included an abusive alcoholic husband, the idea that you could go to an orphanage and just pick yourself out a child based on nothing, and then treating them poorly is pretty gross, and Matthew dies because of heart trouble, yes, but heart trouble brought on by the failure of the bank at which all his money is kept. Still a very lovely book with lots of gorgeous nature descriptions and life lessons, and I found that I really empathized with Marilla, which was unexpected.

Anne of Avonlea. I remember this as being my least-favourite in the series, and I can see why. Anne becomes a teacher at the Avonlea school and is quite involved with a very precocious young boy; she is instrumental in getting his widowed father back together with his first love, who never married after they quarreled 25 years prior. Lover’s quarrel, man gets married, woman pines for him forever, man becomes widowed, man comes back to Avonlea and marries woman who has been pining for him forever. Huh. Also, there is a storyline with twins that come to live at Green Gables, and it feels just like old 80s sitcoms when the cute child actors would grow up and be replaced by new cute child actors.

Anne of the Island. Oh, this is probably my favourite of all the Anne books! Anne goes to college in Nova Scotia and lives in a sweet house called Patty’s Place with three other girls and one of the girl’s aunts. It’s just such a lovely book about “coed” life, friendship, and romance. After she turns down Gilbert, she starts dating this very romantic, very handsome, very rich, very eligible bachelor, Royal Gardner. Spoiler alert: she does not love him! Spoiler alert: after Gilbert, who finishes his own BA and starts med school, gets really sick and almost dies. ANNE LOVES GILBERT AND IN THIS BOOK SHE FINALLY CAPITULATES TO HER FATE.

It’s going to be a fun week, I can feel it. Here we are heading into mid-August already; I am going to continue to Embrace the Season and soak up every minute. Have a great week! xo