Category Archives: Housewifery

Lots of Adventures; Seventeen Weeks In

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Dental Adventure

I had a dental cleaning scheduled for Monday afternoon and I was a bit nervous, due to the thought of having someone’s hands in my open mouth but you know what, all my nerves evaporated when the hygienist came into the room in full hazmat gear. Mask, face shield, hair covered, medical gown over all her clothes, and gloves.

Apparently there are “Marches To Unmask” going on around the country, and I keep reminding myself that it is very bad karma, very bad karma indeed, to wish ill on the participants, especially to wish a deadly Covid outbreak that would occur as a result of those marches. Bad karma, and therefore I am NOT wishing it to happen.

It is also wrong and bad karma to I hope a giant anvil drops from the sky and squashes every single marcher. However, if my dental hygienist can cheerfully don a hazmat suit every time she cleans someone’s teeth, certainly we can all put on a mask to get groceries.

I’m really leaning into the pretty mask thing; it’s taking all of my willpower not to order a different mask for every day of the week. There are so many cute ones to choose from! Lean in! Make it work! Match it with your outfit! They really bring out your eyes.

Costco Adventure

Speaking of groceries, the exciting news in my life is that there are no longer lineups to get into Costco. In fact, last week I went to Costco and Superstore and a) almost everyone was masked, particularly in Costco where they give you masks at the door if you do not have your own (super cute and outfit-matching one), b) there were no shortages of anything that I could see or was shopping for, and c) I am finally getting back joy in grocery shopping. It no longer feels like a grim and possibly deadly task; it feels like the happy, food-obtaining job that I have long enjoyed.

Friend Adventures

We saw our dear friends, who are more like chosen family (HI GUYS) this week for the first time since February, and it felt joyful and wonderful and almost normal. Well, except I wasn’t able to hug them; god, I miss hugging. The book I just finished reading talks about the importance of touch to our physical and mental health, and there was some study done about the optimal number of hugs a day; my family is getting the brunt of my unspent hugs. HUG MEEEEEE.

I also saw my dear friend Lyn (HI LYN) for the first time in a long while, and she is NOT a hugger, so I am sure she’s getting joy out of not being physically affectionately attacked by me.

Actual Mountain Adventure

I went on a beautiful hike with my very good friend Janet (HI JANET); we went to Lake Louise and hiked the Plain of the Six Glaciers, along with a little detour up to Lake Agnes, for a total of about sixteen kilometres and lots of elevation. It was an adventure; there had been a snowslide across the path and we had to go over it, discovering after the fact that it was completely hollowed out underneath. Oops. At the Glacier Lookout, there is an outhouse, and when I was using it I heard a great loud noise and felt a lot of wind. This was the culprit:

If you’ve ever wondered how they empty outhouses in remote mountain locations, wonder no more!

If you don’t strike a yoga pose when you are hiking in the mountains, are you even a yoga teacher?

Lake Louise is usually chock full of tourists at any given time, but the cold drizzly morning, and our early start, meant I actually was able to get a people-free photo.

The top of that mountain, the Big Beehive, is where my husband proposed to me, lo these many years ago. Aww! Shmoopy.

Pandemic Reading Adventure

You guys, the library is open, not just for curbside hold pickups, but actually open! I think I need an intervention:

I read a real variety of books this week, variety being the spice of life, etc.

Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) recommended this as a fun, light read, and it really was. Fun fact: the wardrobe budget for Clueless was only $200,000 – think of all the costumes! – and so they thrifted or made all the clothing in the show. Another fun fact: the actor who holds Cher up by gunpoint was essentially called an hour before to get the job. The original actor was being a dick about getting to the set for the call time so they fired him and just started phoning random actors they knew to play the part that afternoon. Remember my last post and all the talk about luck and timing?

This is the last of the Lives of the Saints trilogy; you may recall that I LOVED Lives of the Saints, but the second book I actively loathed. Why would I even bother reading the third, you may ask? Well. It’s a trilogy. I kind of had to. You get me. Anyway, it was not as good as the first but much better than the second, and because it’s Nino Ricci there is a gross, disturbing, and frankly disgusting plot line. However, I’m still glad I read it. I had to finish the trilogy, don’t judge.

My lovely friend Twyla (HI TWYLA) recommended this to me; with this type of book, I take what I need and leave the rest. I mean, I’m not going to stop using shampoo, drinking coffee, wearing a bra, or vaccinating. I’m highly unlikely to start smudging with sage or burning salts. But here’s the thing: I am a big fan of modern medicine, I love modern medicine, but I also am a huge proponent of complementary and preventative medicine; I truly believe in mind-body connections and that negative thoughts and the inability to forgive and let go can be toxic. If we have learned nothing else from Star Wars, it’s that anger and hatred lead to death. Well, everything leads to death, probability of death equals 1, we are all on a journey to savasana, but it would be nice if that journey was as long and as healthy as possible. Anyway, what I really liked about this book was the theme of self-love and self-care, and to practice loving-kindness towards yourself first, and also to others. What we send out in the world is an echo, and it comes back to you. It’s all about karma!

On that note, I am sending you all thoughts of loving-kindness, I hope you have a week full of wonderful adventures and much joy. xo

Does Anyone Else Remember Hammerman; Fifteen Weeks In

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Last week, for no discernible reason, I remembered that MC Hammer had a cartoon television show called Hammerman; the actual show I do not remember at all, probably because I didn’t actually watch it, except that it featured magical shoes. Due to the magic that is the internet, I could watch an episode, or at least the theme song, which I recall was incredibly long and detailed, but I’d rather leave it as a strange memory bouncing around in my brain.

It’s funny sometimes, how popular culture from one’s childhood can just resurface for no particular reason. I’m not talking about Hammerman, as I was a teenager at the time of its popularity, such as it was, and again, I never watched it. But occasionally some Saturday morning cartoon memory will pop into my head, most notably from School House Rock or an obscure commercial for cheese (I hanker for a hunk of cheese!). I can still sing the entire theme song for ParticipAction – do it with your friends, you both can bend, do it with some hustle, you can make some muscle – and I can also still feel the shame of getting the Participant sticker, rather than the badges, handed out at gym class. I still cannot do a pull-up.

It’s incredible to think that forty years ago we were all exclusively watching Saturday morning cartoons and arranging our bathroom and cereal breaks around commercials; we had to wait a whole week to see who would be on the next episode of The Muppet Show, and an entire summer wondering who shot JR, and now anyone can watch anything at any time. I mean, I remember getting our first PVR approximately 13 years ago and the amazement that came from being able to pause and rewind live television, and now here we are, able to access Hammerman or Conjunction Junction on a whim. If I wanted to I could watch every single episode of The Facts of Life; my childhood self would be amazed and envious.

I remember learning, back in the Eighties, that some of the songs that were huge hits were also cover songs: I Think We’re Alone Now, Lean On Me, I Can’t Help Falling In Love, You Keep Me Hanging On. In recent years I discovered the OG versions of Hard to Handle and There’s Always Something There To Remind Me, and for all of the above, I prefer the originals. However, there are a few songs that I think are better as covers: Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Barenaked Ladies), Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Guns and Roses), and Light My Fire (Jose Feliciano). If you, dear reader, have any thing to add, I would love to hear it.

Speaking of hit songs, last week I learned something incredible: Jimmy Buffett has just released a new album. JIMMY BUFFETT. HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. Does anyone else find that amazing? I mean, for one thing, he’s 73 years old. For another thing, the man has an enormous number of albums to his name and I would challenge you to name any of them. You can’t, can you? And yet he is an incredibly successful recording artist with a devoted following, not to mention a Sirius channel of his own. Talk about finding your niche in the world. It’s quite inspiring, really. Where would we be without Margaritaville? Searching for our lost shakers of salt, I guess. We all enjoy Margaritaville, of course, but my personal favourite Jimmy Buffett song, one that I do not think gets enough accolades, is Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw. That is one catchy tune, and I am not being facetious. I just got a waterbed, it’s filled up for me and you.

Well, I’ll be singing that one all day, which is better than a few minutes ago, when it was ParticipAction, get with the action, do it, do it, do it.

Pandemic Reading

This was a fun week of re-reading the Rosie series. Initially I had thought that the trilogy got better and better with each book, but after reading them all this week, I have decided that they are all equally excellent in their own way, which is a huge and rare accomplishment for any trilogy. I really love how the books portray a person who processes the world differently, with so much affection and humour.

Yummy Things

I have been having the occasional Friday afternoon wine date with my dear friend and neighbour Taryn (HI TARYN); last week I made the three house trek to her backyard, carrying my brand new (thank you, Superstore, for your free gift with purchase) camping chair, and this tote bag packed with wine, my keys, and a glass. Isn’t it cute?

For Sunday night dessert last night, my older son made a pan of Reese Peanut Butter Bars; if you like peanut butter and chocolate and you see a package in the grocery store, buy it! The bars were very yummy and simple to put together.

What’s Blooming

This has been a strangely late year for almost all my shrubs and plants; the roses are coming along but still pretty stick-like, the dogwoods are not completely leafed out yet, and although my newly-planted clematis is blooming, my established one is not. However, the lilacs are fully out and almost finished, and the Siberian irises are glorious.

Pandemic Fitness

When running and walking this week, the lilac scents have been absolutely wonderful. Our fitness club has reopened with lots of restrictions, and I haven’t yet gone, but I’m considering doing a reconnaissance this week, as the weather has changed from Pleasant to Cold and Rainy. We will see.

Have a wonderful week, everybody! Keep safe! xo

We Were On A Break!; Fourteen Weeks In

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One of the worst story lines and subsequent catchphrases that ever came out of a television show was Ross and Rachel’s “we were on a break.” Back my early twenties, when Friends was popular and we all had the Rachel hair style, many, many parallels could be drawn between that show and my life, including but not limited to weird boyfriend possessiveness over academic successes and future careers, breakups and makeups with said boyfriend, jealousy, and the wearing of high-waisted jeans with crop tops. It was a strange time, the Nineties, and when my son watched Friends a few years ago, he agreed that the story line was lame, but pointed out that there were also pet monkeys, many apartment changes, babies that come and go randomly, and the ability to go right up to the gate without actually boarding an airplane. The latter was something that really happened, I told him, to his disbelief.

Last week, we were on a break! We took a road trip to our vacation house, which used to be the Place We Stayed In but due to renovations started last November, that are almost finished, it is now a Vacation House. Honestly, that renovation is worthy of its own post. Previously, the Place We Stayed In had a toilet that flushed maybe a third of the time – at best, usually by the end of our stay it would flush one time in ten – a kitchen that was nearly non-functioning, one bed, located in the TV room, furniture from the 1950s, and a shower that allowed no more than five minutes per use, followed by an hour to drain and reset. The last time we were there, on the last day of our visit during Thanksgiving, the toilet backed up into the shower while I was in it and that was it. The renovations were started.

I am so happy that we spent the money to renovate, because a) who knows when we will go on an Exotic Winter Vacation again, and b) the toilet flushes and we can shower properly now. Who knew how important those things were to our happiness? Plus, a functioning kitchen.

Prepping for a road trip is always a lot of work; prepping for a road trip when you are not planning to go to any stores or eat out at all is something else. I spent weeks making lists about groceries to take, how to keep things frozen and cold for the drive, could we get by with one grocery trip and if so, what was needed, etc. This, in addition to a car full of various housewares, cleaning supplies, dishes, and small appliances that I had been amassing for the Vacation House. Back in November I took advantage of some insane Black Friday sales; some of the new things stayed in our house with our old ones going to the Vacation House, and some things went there. The pile of items to take, that was in my pantry/ storage room at home grew enormous, and now I have that room back.

The kids are officially finished with school now, so it felt like a nice kick-off to what promises to be a strange, but hopefully happy, summer vacation. We had some good quality family time, playing cards and going on hikes and walks. There was one hike that had some pretty tense moments as there was no signage at all and some Discussion about which way to go, a Discussion that did not get better after talking to a man who may or may not have been high, who told us that there was a loop we could do if we followed the path behind him and stayed right. We did that but ended up going at least a half hour in the wrong direction; at one point I had the Gilligan Island theme song stuck in my mind. A three hour tour…would we start having to make radios out of pine cones? We turned around and came back the way we came, got eaten alive by mosquitoes, and when I later remembered later that evening – this would have been good to remember PRIOR to the hike but let us learn from our mistakes – that I had the All Trails app on my phone, I looked at it. There WAS NO LOOP. It was a straight out-and-back and who was that man? Where did he come from?

During the hike the boys had a great time discussing Who We Would Be If We Were On The WWE, the WWE being their new favourite thing, and the debate as to “which one is better, Raw or Smackdown” rages on. They came to the conclusion that my WWE character would be a zen master yogi, and my intro would be Om chants or Indian music while the lights slowly went on to show me in lotus position, meditating. My signature move would be a tree hybrid with my hands in prayer above my head, only to come down in a version of the People’s Elbow or possibly an axe-chop.

Me, in the WWE.

The guys, contemplating life with me in the WWE.

Pandemic Reading

I read this a few years ago and it’s worth a reread. You all know how much I love a good collection of essays; this one is both hilarious and very thought provoking, about life as a woman and as a daughter of immigrants. The stories about waxing and the discovery of a life-changing skirt had me crying with laughter.

I can’t even begin to say how much I liked this book. It was so well done, and I couldn’t put it down. NOTICE THE LIBRARY STICKER. The library is now partially open; holds are available for curbside pickup. A few of my holds have started coming in and I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting it is.

Yummy Things

Since we were in wine country, I drank a lot of wine on our new deck. Related: now that we are home, I am feeling pretty bloated and like I need a whole-body reset.

That’s Tantalus wine in my hand.

This was probably the best Syrah I have ever had in my entire life.

For Father’s Day, my husband grilled his own steaks in the pouring rain while also unclogging the drainpipe that had become plugged with spruce needles and cones, due to all the storms that happened the week we were gone. But he also got a delicious carrot cake, made by moi.

Pandemic Fitness

I forgot to screen shot my weekly movement reports, but lots of walks, hikes, and runs. It only semi-counteracted the wine consumption.

A Very Fuzzy Birthday; Eleven Weeks In

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Every single time I water my outdoor garden containers, an incredible storm rolls in, complete with hours of pouring rain. It feels symbolic, but I can’t quite make the leap.

It has been a dreadful week for news, which I am not going to go into. The bright spot is that Covid cases are on the decline in Alberta, and that last week’s recoveries outweighed the new cases. We are still in Stage One of reopening, and for the Boyhouse, this means that we have been slowly getting back into the world with medical appointments. The guys all have eye appointments next week, and I had my annual physical last week; that was pretty exciting, to have a reason to put on a real bra instead of a yoga tank. Next up: blood work and a mammogram! I haven’t scheduled them yet because the idea of Doing Things is still pretty exhausting. Although, never have I ever gone for my physical and immediately just walked into the room, with no waiting, as happened last week. I should probably get all these things done while it’s still quiet. I’d like to get my dental appointments in too, but that seems like a bridge too far right now.

When you were a kid, how often did you go out for dinner? In terms of sit-down restaurants, for me, it was almost never. Occasionally we would get Dairy Queen dinners, maybe once or twice a month, but as for an actual restaurant, it might have been annually or semi-annually. I wonder if we are going to see a step change in consumption patterns; I wonder if restaurants are going to become the special treats they were for me, back in the Eighties. I wonder if shopping is going to change and we are going to buy new things for Christmas and birthdays only, and maybe Back to School, GOD HELP ME THERE HAS TO BE A BACK TO SCHOOL AT SOME POINT.

I wonder about travel, and how that will change, and what will be the impact on countries for which the travel industry has done more for their economies than any other industry combined. I wonder what will happen for my kids when they are old enough to fly the nest and get jobs; will they have careers, where will they go and what will they do.

Well. None of us know what the future will bring, and in the meantime, we celebrated a very fuzzy birthday this weekend. Barkley, a.k.a. Bokey, Bokey Boy, Boke Boke, Bokeroo, Barks, the Barkster, Barkles, Puppy, Puppy Pup, Mr. Fuzzy, Fuzzy Fuzz, Silly Billy, turned twelve. There is something very heart-wrenching about having a dog turn twelve; it’s a reminder that you don’t have much time left and every day is a gift. Hopefully we have lots of time left, and in the meantime, he enjoyed lots of treats, the slowest walk ever where we patiently allowed him to sniff Every Single Spot Another Dog Has Ever Peed On Ever, and a ton of attention which he didn’t understand but I’m sure he liked.

Pandemic Reading

My dear friend Taryn (HI TARYN) lent me this book MONTHS ago; I set it on my shelf and – shamefully – forgot about it. What a pleasure this was to read; it is one of the best books I have read ever. Linked short stories – my favourite – about a girl of Jamaican descent growing up in Toronto, with underlying themes about belonging, community, and mother-daughter relationships. It is so rich and wonderfully written; I can’t stop thinking about it. You could probably write an entire dissertation on every character in this book.

This was one of my favourite books growing up and I can really see why. It is the ultimate “Bloom Where You’re Planted” book; the underlying theme is that no matter your circumstances, you can be a princess. A princess is what you are inside, in the best way possible. In this case, being a princess means treating others with respect, politeness, kindness, and generosity, regardless of how they treat you. Sara is a very wealthy young girl who has been sent to boarding school, while her father goes back to his work as a colonel in India. He loses his fortune and dies – of jungle fever – and the mistress of the boarding school takes that opportunity to make Sara into a slave who lives in the attic of the school. Eventually, through serendipitous twists and turns, all turns out well. It is a children’s book after all, albeit one that deals with child malnutrition and exposure, and physical abuse. As any book written in the Victorian age, it is a product of its time, so in the background there are many ugly things like colonialism and a crushing class system; it shows the terrible way impoverished children – particularly orphans – were treated by society.

I have a theory that Burnett readers either love A Little Princess or they love The Secret Garden, but they can’t love both. It’s very true for me, I have tried many times to read The Secret Garden but I’ve never made it past the first chapter.

More Alice Munro! Love her.

Yummy Things

Because it was Barkley’s birthday, I baked these “pupcakes” (thanks Lyn for the name suggestion! HI LYN) for the humans in the family. While looking for these dog face sprinkles at Superstore, I noticed that cake mixes are the new thing to be gone off the shelves. The baking aisle has tons of flour, and even some yeast, but the shelves holding cake mixes were completely empty. Has everyone given up on bread baking and moved on to cake making? I fully support your baking journeys.

We are trying to support as many Canadian wineries as possible; my husband’s lifelong friend – and, in fact, the friendship goes back generations as their grandfathers and fathers were both grape growers and lifelong friends – is a winemaker at Vineland Estates, which makes the BEST Cab Franc you have ever had. Seriously, it is the best. It’s tricky to get wines through the provinces, but there are (legal) ways to do this, and, long story short, I now have three cases in my basement. Or, as our winemaker friend says, 36 days worth.

Supporting Canadian wineries! It’s a hard job but someone has to do it, so I shall take it on myself.

Pandemic Fitness

The May walk/ run challenge is now over, and I clocked 257.6 kilometres for the month – mostly walking, but lots of running too. I’m very happy with that.

Other things to be happy about: today I went to Costco and hardly had to wait five minutes to get in the store, they are handing out masks to unmasked people at the door, and I saw a woman wearing a mask adorned with sequins. Sequins! It was very Pandemic at the Disco, and I like it. Hope you are all having a good week, stay safe, stay healthy. xo

Grievances, Big and Small; Ten Weeks In

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Big Grievance: Masks

Despite my diatribes about shopping carts, I like to think that I am a very open-minded person. Unless a person is blatantly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or similar, I am usually able to see things from their point of view, even if I disagree, be it about politics, parenting, books and movies, or moustaches.

Small grievance digression: the boys are STILL sporting moustaches, and have no intentions of shaving “until this is all over” which, really, is so vague as to make me believe that I am going to be looking at Ned Flanders/ Errol Flynn facial hair until the end of time.

Anyway, back to the big grievance. I have a policy not to get into arguments online; such arguments are futile and pointless and only lead to bad feelings. Generally speaking, no online argument has ever changed anyone’s mind and it only serves to fuel feelings of frustration about ignorance and the state of the world. However, a woman who I know vaguely through the yoga community posted a link about Costco requiring masks to shop at its warehouses, with the caption “Not a chance! I will stop shopping there if they push me to wear a mask. How ridiculous!” The comments – don’t read the comments, people – were supportive of this anti-mask stance, in that “we have to stand up for our rights!” Our rights to shop at Costco maskless? I guess.

At this point I wasn’t trying to start an argument, I was curious. Why though? Why no mask? Was there an actual physical issue that precludes mask-wearing? What is the big deal? I equate stores requiring masks with the ubiquitous No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service policy; I really wanted to know her reasoning.

The answer, such as it was, that it was she did not think that masks are useful and that she believes in her right to choose.

Her right to choose, as if this was an abortion issue, not a let’s-wear-masks-during-a-global-pandemic-for-an-hour-to-buy-groceries issue.

Also, you know who DOES think mask-wearing is useful? The entire medical community.

I pressed on a little, and kept getting comments that “people’s rights are being taken away” and “this was oppression,” which, really. Oppression. Rights being taken away. If wearing a mask indicates one’s level of oppression and lack of human rights, then one is living a very charmed and lucky life. Imagine equating a mask with oppression. Imagine talking to a woman from, say, Iran about your rights being taken away.

All this from a yoga teacher, who should, by all definitions, be concerned about the more vulnerable in our society and who also would require people visiting her studio to remove their shoes upon entering. Even in my old stroke survivor yoga class, students removed their shoes upon entering the studio, the only exception being a person who was in a scooter and whose feet never touched the floor. If we yoga teachers can require shoe removal as a sign of respect and cleanliness, then I think we could also put something over our noses and mouths in a time where an extremely contagious respiratory virus is rampant.

Well, I don’t unfriend people easily – it took me twelve years to unfriend my cousin who constantly spewed anti-vaccination information and promoted his diet as precluding the need for vaccinations and modern medicine – but this was a no-brainer. I have no time for this. However, there is always a bright side. Based on the people who are going to boycott Costco for mask requirements, there should be fewer people in the queue to get in; fewer STUPID and SELFISH people in the queue. Oppression of human rights indeed.

(I don’t know who to credit for this image but I like it)

Small Grievance: Child Benefit

I do not ever apply for the Canada Child Benefit while filling out my tax return. As far as I can see, I do not qualify for anything, which is perfectly fine, of course. So when I received an envelope from Revenue Canada, I stared at it before opening. Did I file something wrong? Nothing strikes fear in the heart quite like an unexpected envelope from Revenue Canada. What I found inside was startling: my Child Benefit had been calculated, and my annual entitlement was to be deposited into my account shortly. My annual entitlement of $3.28.

$3.28! I’m sure the costs of calculation, mailing, and depositing far exceeded that amount, but okay. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a very small latte, or a block of tofu and a pack of gum.

Very Small Grievance: Rogue Spinach Leaves

Every day I make myself a green smoothie and every day, every single day, there is one spinach leaf that gets stuck on the side of the blender and refuses to be a part of it. That is, when I’m lucky it’s stuck on the side of the blender; sometimes it drops into the smoothie, unperceived by me until I drink it and get a soft, weird-tasting leaf in my mouth.

I’ve tried everything, and still, one leaf.

Not Really A Grievance: Goutweed

My very lovely elderly neighbour, many years ago, transplanted and watered a particularly invasive and ugly non-variegated variety of goutweed in the space between our houses. She is unable to do yardwork now, and the goutweed had spread and grown and started to choke out our shrubs and the variegated, snow-on-the-mountain goutweed that was also growing in that space. It had also started to creep into one of my gardens, and something had to be done. The boys and I spent two and a half hours yesterday digging it out. Have you ever tried to dig out goutweed? There is a reason it is used as an aggressive groundcover. As I said, this is not really a grievance, as I really enjoy this type of work, and it was a Project that was Very Satisfying to complete. My muscles are a TINY bit sore though; apparently goutweed can be used medicinally for inflammation. This seems like the ultimate irony.

Pandemic Reading

If we want to talk about oppression…this book deals with an “honour killing.” It’s quite fascinating and explores a community in which rules are rigid and women’s rights are non-existent.

A woman deals with her nasty husband’s sudden and extreme spiritual awakening; this book is very witty and also ended much differently than I thought it would, which I genuinely like.

This was okay, a light weekend-style read.

Yummy Things

Other than yesterday, the week was cold and rainy, which I usually find Oppressive Like Masks, but for some reason I instead found the rain to be energizing and invigorating. I went for walks in the rain – what have I become – and I leaned in hard to Cozy Rainy Day activities. I made three different kinds of ice cream – mint, strawberry, and vanilla caramel swirl – baked a lot, and made jam.

Also, three perfect avocados! At the same time!

Our Sunday dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries, a very nice treat after all that digging.

Pandemic Fitness

My Sunday walk took me to the university; I hadn’t been on campus since 1998, and I was surprised to see so many changes, so many new and beautiful buildings. It was good to see my old stomping grounds to be basically unchanged – except for the absence of the Prairie Chicken! – and just as ugly as it used to be. Ah, I can feel the dinginess of those windowless offices just by looking at this.

Never did I think I would become a woman who would wear her son’s outgrown windbreaker to run in the drizzle, but here we are.

I hope you are all having a fabulous, unoppressed week. Fight the power! xo

Pandemic Mother’s Day and Panic; Eight Weeks In

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I had to physically go to my calendar and count, because it seemed wrong today; eight weeks? This is the ninth week now? The calendar has reassured me that yes, those are the numbers we are working with today. Eight weeks in quarantine, or, semi-quarantine, I guess. Can you say you’re in quarantine if you are the designated grocery shopper and prescription picker-upper? In any case, we have just completed our eighth week of *gestures widely* all this.

You may have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start having serious kitchen dance parties with a carrot.

You may also have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start reorganizing and cleaning your spice cupboard, when you decide that you must move all the living room furniture to clean underneath it where the Roomba can’t go, and when you go into an incredible panic spiral when baking powder becomes unavailable.

Here’s the thing: I have baking powder. I buy it at Costco and so I always have backup. But for some reason, the lack of baking powder on the shelves, even though I do not currently need baking powder and in fact it will be a while before I do actually run out of baking powder, has me completely Panicking At The Disco. The Carrot Disco, if you will. I started to search up substitutions for baking powder and discovered cream of tartar, mixed with baking soda, can be effectively used, and so I started adding cream of tartar to Every Online Shopping Order. At one point, my husband asked me to please stop, we surely have enough cream of tartar, which – prior to the Pandemic At The Disco – I only ever used to make play dough. It has been a while, dear reader, since I made play dough.

I felt powerless to stop my quest for baking powder. I came across this article – What a Starvation Experiment Reveals About 2020 Food Insecurity – and it is fascinating. I had read about that experiment before, in terms of how food restriction permanently shifts your brain chemistry and behaviour, and it is fascinating to think that one day in the far future, we might still be trolling aisles and grabbing desperately for yeast and flour and toilet paper and – in my case – baking powder. What is this Pandemic doing to our brains and behaviour patterns? The economist in me will be interested in future studies, but meanwhile, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen mixing 3/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar with 1/4 teaspoon baking soda.

Another thing that has been absent from grocery shelves for weeks is sauerkraut. This is not something that affects me personally as I am not a fan of sauerkraut in the least, but my husband and younger son enjoy it, and one of the lunches they have been making recently is corned beef Reuben sandwiches. They were down to their last forkful of sauerkraut, and at that time it had been completely unavailable for three weeks, but my darling friend Denise – HI DENISE – came through and gave us a jar.

How was your Mother’s Day? After a few weeks of gorgeous weather, it turned cold and snowed a bit, so naturally I went to the garden centre Sunday morning to buy a few plants. I figured there would be very few people there and I was right. Traditionally this is my Mother’s Day gift – plants – but the boys also surprised me with popcorn and a viewing of my favourite movie, When Harry Met Sally, on Saturday night. We had a barbeque Sunday, and a nice family walk, and altogether it was a lovely, if cold, day.

Pandemic Reading

This is the sequel to Lives of the Saints, and I read it shortly after studying Lives of the Saints in first year university. I must have blocked it out. It’s a very dreary book and very sad; if you are in the market for a lot of brooding and a quest for belonging, then this is the book for you.

I read this for my long-defunct book club back in 2003, and it’s still a really wonderful read; a lovely celebration of womanhood and sisterhood. I really enjoy reading books that delve into a female point of view of a traditionally male story; this is a Biblical re-imagining around the story of Jacob and Joseph.

I loved this book when it first came out and I can see why: it’s a fascinating story about the Russian pairs skaters Gordeeva and Grinkov. There is a lot of detail about how the Soviets identified and trained young athletes, and then how lives changed with the breakup of the USSR. It’s a love story, of course, but if you are interested in figure skating, it is fascinating from that point of view.

I have been reading one Mary Oliver poem a day, just before I start my yoga practice. I limit myself to just one poem and then I think about it all day; her poetry is beautiful and uplifting.

Pandemic Fitness

It’s been a good week for walks and runs, and I bought some new running shoes, curbside, from The Tech Shop. They were having an insanely good sale, and while it was a bit disappointing that the only colour they had in the shoes that I like was exactly the same as my old shoes, the new ones are so nice and cushy.

I hope you all are still well. Stay safe! xo

DIY Orthodontia; Seven Weeks In

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On Saturday morning, my “Born to Run” playlist started with Crazy Train and It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine), and ended with Don’t Stop Believing, and it felt all very symbolic.

Back when Calgary had the terrible flood in 2013, I remember a very strong feeling of dissonance. On the one hand, all the news was about the flood, showing footage of ruined homes and the downtown core underwater, familiar spots like the zoo and the river pathways obliterated. But then, I would step outside my house and everything was normal. It was a very strange feeling, this knowing that something was terribly wrong and yet in my bubble, everything was fine.

In a way, this is how the Pandemic feels. I’m hearing about people refusing to social distance, refusing to stay home; I’m seeing actual protests – people literally protesting – from the States over closures, people going to the beach, people refusing to wear masks in public. And it’s bizarre. Again, in my bubble, everything is fine. I go for multiple walks a day and I run a few times a week, and so I encounter many people out enjoying their constitutionals, and always, we give each other space. People – myself included – step into the street or cross the street to avoid going into someone else’s 2 metre bubble. Runners and cyclists – myself and my kids included – give at least two to three times the recommended berth when passing others. I do see people socializing, but at huge distances: friends having a chat, one person on their front step and the other on the sidewalk, friends having a drink together twenty feet away in a different driveway, moms in their minivans in empty parking lots, all parked ten feet away from each other. In the grocery store, at least eighty percent of shoppers have masks on, maybe more. Shopping is slow because each person waits until their fellow shoppers have made selections before approaching the shelf and making their own selection.

Sure, I have had the occasional person get too close to me in the past eight weeks, and I have seen the occasional people out walking together who don’t live in the same house, but by far that’s the exception. The vast majority of people are following protocol.

So I have hope that this will continue as Alberta starts slowly opening things up this week. I do not feel in any way ready to start going places, other than the grocery store and maybe also the garden centre, in a few weeks. Maybe.

The one thing I’m very glad of is that orthodontists are starting to reopen, and I feel that of all places, they will be able to keep things clean and sterile. My younger son is a month overdue for his appointment; just after it was cancelled one of his brackets started to loosen. I didn’t think that constituted an emergency, but the office was still open for phone calls. The nice lady assured me that indeed, it wasn’t an emergency at all and even if the bracket fell off his tooth entirely, he could just leave it dangling on the wire. If that bothered him, then I could just cut the wire myself and remove the bracket. I was extremely startled by that revelation and asked her with what I could cut the wire. The answer was even more disturbing: if I didn’t have wire clippers then toenail clippers would be fine. Just be sure to wash them first! she said perkily.

Well, yes.

I’m not sure at what point I would be desperate enough to poke around in my son’s mouth with wire clippers – or, god, toenail clippers – and I don’t think there is any level of sterilization that would make me comfortable with taking the tool that cuts my husband’s toenails and putting it in my son’s mouth to cut a metal wire near his throat opening. What could possibly go wrong. Apparently there are a number of YouTube videos that show how to take off your own braces and well. Thankfully, we are nowhere near that point. We can wait, thank you.

So I’ll be glad to get that professionally taken care of, whenever that should occur. The office is NOT taking phone calls at the moment; they were probably immediately flooded with calls the minute the news came out. I myself phoned and was greeted with a message to the effect that they are not making appointments and that THEY will call in the order in which our appointments were cancelled. Hopefully this will happen in the next month or so.

Today is cold and rainy but we have had a beautiful stretch of weather, so there has been much yard work accomplished along with some weird, adrenaline-fueled cleaning projects, like cleaning both fridges prior to the weekly grocery shop, washing the insides of the windows, and cleaning the kitchen cupboards – again. Apparently with everyone home all the time, things get dirtier than usual, who knew.

Pandemic Reading

Out of the blue I remembered one of my favourite Alice Munro stories, Tricks, that features a green dress. I haven’t read this collection for years; Alice Munro is one of my favourite writers and this might be my favourite collection of hers. Then again, every time I read Munro I think this is my favourite! so…

Judy, I love you, but I did not love this. It is, however, a very interesting timepiece about marriage in the 70s, the expectations for women, and swinging.

I studied this in first year university English – all the symbolism, all of it – and it’s very good. Hooray for Canadian literature.

Pandemic Fitness

A kind of negative aspect of my personality that not many people see is that I have a tendency towards competitiveness. I try to keep it on the down low. I joined a community group that is tracking kilometres walked or ran during the month of May and I am killing it. I already am at almost 28 kilometres for the month and it is 7:30 am, May 4.

Yummy Things

For dessert this week I made a chocolate mousse pie; I had baked peanut butter cookies earlier in the week and they disappeared pretty quickly. I haven’t been baking many cookies lately – I’ve been on more of a loaf/ muffin spree – and my sons requested my “classic OG cookies” which, apparently, is code for chocolate chip.

It’s been nice enough for drinks in the back yard as well.

May the Fourth

And it’s Star Wars Day! Here’s a flashback from 2015, me not practicing social distancing with Chewbacca:

He was so soft and silky! Happy Star Wars Day everyone! I hope your week is lovely and full of virtual soft and silky hugs. xo