Category Archives: Hello Calgary

Does Anyone Else Remember Hammerman; Fifteen Weeks In

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Last week, for no discernible reason, I remembered that MC Hammer had a cartoon television show called Hammerman; the actual show I do not remember at all, probably because I didn’t actually watch it, except that it featured magical shoes. Due to the magic that is the internet, I could watch an episode, or at least the theme song, which I recall was incredibly long and detailed, but I’d rather leave it as a strange memory bouncing around in my brain.

It’s funny sometimes, how popular culture from one’s childhood can just resurface for no particular reason. I’m not talking about Hammerman, as I was a teenager at the time of its popularity, such as it was, and again, I never watched it. But occasionally some Saturday morning cartoon memory will pop into my head, most notably from School House Rock or an obscure commercial for cheese (I hanker for a hunk of cheese!). I can still sing the entire theme song for ParticipAction – do it with your friends, you both can bend, do it with some hustle, you can make some muscle – and I can also still feel the shame of getting the Participant sticker, rather than the badges, handed out at gym class. I still cannot do a pull-up.

It’s incredible to think that forty years ago we were all exclusively watching Saturday morning cartoons and arranging our bathroom and cereal breaks around commercials; we had to wait a whole week to see who would be on the next episode of The Muppet Show, and an entire summer wondering who shot JR, and now anyone can watch anything at any time. I mean, I remember getting our first PVR approximately 13 years ago and the amazement that came from being able to pause and rewind live television, and now here we are, able to access Hammerman or Conjunction Junction on a whim. If I wanted to I could watch every single episode of The Facts of Life; my childhood self would be amazed and envious.

I remember learning, back in the Eighties, that some of the songs that were huge hits were also cover songs: I Think We’re Alone Now, Lean On Me, I Can’t Help Falling In Love, You Keep Me Hanging On. In recent years I discovered the OG versions of Hard to Handle and There’s Always Something There To Remind Me, and for all of the above, I prefer the originals. However, there are a few songs that I think are better as covers: Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Barenaked Ladies), Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Guns and Roses), and Light My Fire (Jose Feliciano). If you, dear reader, have any thing to add, I would love to hear it.

Speaking of hit songs, last week I learned something incredible: Jimmy Buffett has just released a new album. JIMMY BUFFETT. HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. Does anyone else find that amazing? I mean, for one thing, he’s 73 years old. For another thing, the man has an enormous number of albums to his name and I would challenge you to name any of them. You can’t, can you? And yet he is an incredibly successful recording artist with a devoted following, not to mention a Sirius channel of his own. Talk about finding your niche in the world. It’s quite inspiring, really. Where would we be without Margaritaville? Searching for our lost shakers of salt, I guess. We all enjoy Margaritaville, of course, but my personal favourite Jimmy Buffett song, one that I do not think gets enough accolades, is Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw. That is one catchy tune, and I am not being facetious. I just got a waterbed, it’s filled up for me and you.

Well, I’ll be singing that one all day, which is better than a few minutes ago, when it was ParticipAction, get with the action, do it, do it, do it.

Pandemic Reading

This was a fun week of re-reading the Rosie series. Initially I had thought that the trilogy got better and better with each book, but after reading them all this week, I have decided that they are all equally excellent in their own way, which is a huge and rare accomplishment for any trilogy. I really love how the books portray a person who processes the world differently, with so much affection and humour.

Yummy Things

I have been having the occasional Friday afternoon wine date with my dear friend and neighbour Taryn (HI TARYN); last week I made the three house trek to her backyard, carrying my brand new (thank you, Superstore, for your free gift with purchase) camping chair, and this tote bag packed with wine, my keys, and a glass. Isn’t it cute?

For Sunday night dessert last night, my older son made a pan of Reese Peanut Butter Bars; if you like peanut butter and chocolate and you see a package in the grocery store, buy it! The bars were very yummy and simple to put together.

What’s Blooming

This has been a strangely late year for almost all my shrubs and plants; the roses are coming along but still pretty stick-like, the dogwoods are not completely leafed out yet, and although my newly-planted clematis is blooming, my established one is not. However, the lilacs are fully out and almost finished, and the Siberian irises are glorious.

Pandemic Fitness

When running and walking this week, the lilac scents have been absolutely wonderful. Our fitness club has reopened with lots of restrictions, and I haven’t yet gone, but I’m considering doing a reconnaissance this week, as the weather has changed from Pleasant to Cold and Rainy. We will see.

Have a wonderful week, everybody! Keep safe! xo

All The Appointments; Twelve Weeks In

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Last week my son had an appointment with an allergist, and the skin prick test did not indicate that he is allergic to the food that we thought caused a reaction a few weeks back. The next step is a blood test, and I have to schedule my own routine blood test, along with my mammogram, and all three guys have eye appointments this week and I have a dentist appointment THIS AFTERNOON and honestly, that would be an overwhelming number of things to do in normal times, let alone now.

I phoned the dentist on Friday, thinking that it would be several weeks before I got an appointment – my husband has one at the end of July – and when the woman on the phone said he can see you next week, how’s Monday afternoon I jumped on it without thinking. I shall report back.

Part of this is fear of the unknown; the lab services place is a gross petrie dish normally, what will it be like now? I’m trying to think optimistically that it will be BETTER, not worse, but still. Someone mentioned to me that with all the mask-wearing and hand-washing, it seems like an eternity since anyone’s had a common cold, and that is true. I cannot remember the last time I was sick, and one of the best things to come out of all this is that people who are sick – coughing and sneezing sick – are not generally going out in public. It was always a peeve of mine, when the children were small, that kids would end up at preschool VISIBLY ill, while their parents would say things like he was vomiting all day yesterday but drank water this morning, I’m sure he’s fine, and oh, it’s just a little bit of sniffles while their febrile child curled up on the circle mats, interrupted only to cough chestily. Now there is enormous peer pressure to keep everyone home, with nothing more than a seasonal allergy sneeze.

Anyway. So many appointments! After only going to the grocery store weekly, this feels like a lively and very busy runaround. So many places to go and things to do. It’s a ridiculous feeling, given what my normal pre-Covid life would have been like in June, although also not ridiculous, because things take so long to accomplish now, and will there be lineups, and should I take a book with me.

How am I possibly going to get back to the regular world? Slowly, I guess.

This week would have been my younger son’s grade nine graduation, and the mother of one of his friends organized an evening last week where the whole gang got together for photos. In a couple of weeks he will go to the school to pick up his yearbook and his certificate, and then it’s goodbye to junior high, I guess. It’s a small thing but still a thing, to be a little bit sad about. Online lessons seem to be wrapping up this week; they’ve gone as well as possible for my kids, every day is a gift, let us not wish our lives away BUT I am looking forward to the day that they are NOT doing online school.

Pandemic Reading

Speaking of landsliding and the kids getting older and I’m getting older too, I read this collection last week:

This is an interesting collection as it was written in 1974, so Alice Munro fans can see the change in style and prose. There is also an underlying counterculture theme in most of the stories, shown in descriptions of hair and clothing, as well as marital dichotomy.

I read this story, The Spanish Lady, when the kids were small and I remember gasping at this paragraph. I dog-eared the book and, coming across it again, I gasped. It is such a perfect description of mothering small children, and it is also a perfect description of motherhood for me now: all that time of care and confusion that seemed as it would never end seems as if it never was. 

LANDSLIDE, OMG, LANDSLIDE.

I have two new David Sedaris books to read: Naked and When You Are Engulfed In Flames, but I’m saving them. For what, I don’t know. Do you do this too? Do you “save” books for a certain time? Anyway, I reread this one last week while I drank copious amounts of coffee – to be possibly slightly regretted this afternoon when I’m having my dental scaling – and green smoothies.

The world does not need to read or hear about a privileged white woman’s outrage about current events and subsequent journey towards understanding and compassion, so I will spare you my thoughts. What I will say is that I acknowledge my extreme privilege and the fact that I have had little to no barriers or disadvantages in my life, and I understand that the world is full of barriers and disadvantages to other women of different races and backgrounds. The entire system is set up with barriers and disadvantages, which makes the reading of this book that much more poignant. This book is an incredible work of art, dealing with two sisters: one who follows Fate as it is determined for her and enters into an arranged marriage and subsequent move from Bangladesh to England to be a dutiful wife and mother, and one who enters into a “love marriage.” It is a gripping book about fate, love, sisterhood, and taking charge of your own destiny. Women are amazing, the world over. The world is full of incredible, strong women who do amazing things, and I am constantly humbled by that.

Yummy Things

There is no way to segue from Brick Lane to Yummy Things, but here we go.

I planted this herb garden a few weeks ago – a few? I have no idea when – including transplanting my grow-op cilantro. It is thriving and I love it. I have many plans for drying herbs and making my own mint extract, and meanwhile I made my very first homemade mojito on Friday.

I added way too much lime but still, it was good.

I bake snacks several times a week, but this was a new record: I took these blueberry-raspberry muffins out of the oven at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, and by 2:30 Saturday there was nothing but crumbs and a lone blueberry in the snack box.

Proof that there is always one spinach leaf that refuses to be blended.

What’s Blooming

The Mayday bloomed two weeks ago and is all finished now, leaving behind a lawn full of petals.

The snowdrop anenomes are waving in the wind.

The biggest of the elephant ears were not blooming, and then suddenly they did.

The roses are still just sticks that are turning slightly green, the hostas are making their way upwards, and, as usual, the neighbourhood is full of beautiful tulip blooms while mine are nothing more than mysteriously flopped foliage.

Pandemic Fitness

Lots of walks and runs this week; I love looking at other peoples’ gardens this time of year. My husband and I have also seen a few coyotes, along with coyote PUPS, the sight of which had us nervously looking around for Mama Coyote. This morning we saw both, but happily Mama was eating what appeared to be a dead squirrel – yay Mama! – and was therefore too occupied to notice us.

Happy June, everyone! xo

A Very Fuzzy Birthday; Eleven Weeks In

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Every single time I water my outdoor garden containers, an incredible storm rolls in, complete with hours of pouring rain. It feels symbolic, but I can’t quite make the leap.

It has been a dreadful week for news, which I am not going to go into. The bright spot is that Covid cases are on the decline in Alberta, and that last week’s recoveries outweighed the new cases. We are still in Stage One of reopening, and for the Boyhouse, this means that we have been slowly getting back into the world with medical appointments. The guys all have eye appointments next week, and I had my annual physical last week; that was pretty exciting, to have a reason to put on a real bra instead of a yoga tank. Next up: blood work and a mammogram! I haven’t scheduled them yet because the idea of Doing Things is still pretty exhausting. Although, never have I ever gone for my physical and immediately just walked into the room, with no waiting, as happened last week. I should probably get all these things done while it’s still quiet. I’d like to get my dental appointments in too, but that seems like a bridge too far right now.

When you were a kid, how often did you go out for dinner? In terms of sit-down restaurants, for me, it was almost never. Occasionally we would get Dairy Queen dinners, maybe once or twice a month, but as for an actual restaurant, it might have been annually or semi-annually. I wonder if we are going to see a step change in consumption patterns; I wonder if restaurants are going to become the special treats they were for me, back in the Eighties. I wonder if shopping is going to change and we are going to buy new things for Christmas and birthdays only, and maybe Back to School, GOD HELP ME THERE HAS TO BE A BACK TO SCHOOL AT SOME POINT.

I wonder about travel, and how that will change, and what will be the impact on countries for which the travel industry has done more for their economies than any other industry combined. I wonder what will happen for my kids when they are old enough to fly the nest and get jobs; will they have careers, where will they go and what will they do.

Well. None of us know what the future will bring, and in the meantime, we celebrated a very fuzzy birthday this weekend. Barkley, a.k.a. Bokey, Bokey Boy, Boke Boke, Bokeroo, Barks, the Barkster, Barkles, Puppy, Puppy Pup, Mr. Fuzzy, Fuzzy Fuzz, Silly Billy, turned twelve. There is something very heart-wrenching about having a dog turn twelve; it’s a reminder that you don’t have much time left and every day is a gift. Hopefully we have lots of time left, and in the meantime, he enjoyed lots of treats, the slowest walk ever where we patiently allowed him to sniff Every Single Spot Another Dog Has Ever Peed On Ever, and a ton of attention which he didn’t understand but I’m sure he liked.

Pandemic Reading

My dear friend Taryn (HI TARYN) lent me this book MONTHS ago; I set it on my shelf and – shamefully – forgot about it. What a pleasure this was to read; it is one of the best books I have read ever. Linked short stories – my favourite – about a girl of Jamaican descent growing up in Toronto, with underlying themes about belonging, community, and mother-daughter relationships. It is so rich and wonderfully written; I can’t stop thinking about it. You could probably write an entire dissertation on every character in this book.

This was one of my favourite books growing up and I can really see why. It is the ultimate “Bloom Where You’re Planted” book; the underlying theme is that no matter your circumstances, you can be a princess. A princess is what you are inside, in the best way possible. In this case, being a princess means treating others with respect, politeness, kindness, and generosity, regardless of how they treat you. Sara is a very wealthy young girl who has been sent to boarding school, while her father goes back to his work as a colonel in India. He loses his fortune and dies – of jungle fever – and the mistress of the boarding school takes that opportunity to make Sara into a slave who lives in the attic of the school. Eventually, through serendipitous twists and turns, all turns out well. It is a children’s book after all, albeit one that deals with child malnutrition and exposure, and physical abuse. As any book written in the Victorian age, it is a product of its time, so in the background there are many ugly things like colonialism and a crushing class system; it shows the terrible way impoverished children – particularly orphans – were treated by society.

I have a theory that Burnett readers either love A Little Princess or they love The Secret Garden, but they can’t love both. It’s very true for me, I have tried many times to read The Secret Garden but I’ve never made it past the first chapter.

More Alice Munro! Love her.

Yummy Things

Because it was Barkley’s birthday, I baked these “pupcakes” (thanks Lyn for the name suggestion! HI LYN) for the humans in the family. While looking for these dog face sprinkles at Superstore, I noticed that cake mixes are the new thing to be gone off the shelves. The baking aisle has tons of flour, and even some yeast, but the shelves holding cake mixes were completely empty. Has everyone given up on bread baking and moved on to cake making? I fully support your baking journeys.

We are trying to support as many Canadian wineries as possible; my husband’s lifelong friend – and, in fact, the friendship goes back generations as their grandfathers and fathers were both grape growers and lifelong friends – is a winemaker at Vineland Estates, which makes the BEST Cab Franc you have ever had. Seriously, it is the best. It’s tricky to get wines through the provinces, but there are (legal) ways to do this, and, long story short, I now have three cases in my basement. Or, as our winemaker friend says, 36 days worth.

Supporting Canadian wineries! It’s a hard job but someone has to do it, so I shall take it on myself.

Pandemic Fitness

The May walk/ run challenge is now over, and I clocked 257.6 kilometres for the month – mostly walking, but lots of running too. I’m very happy with that.

Other things to be happy about: today I went to Costco and hardly had to wait five minutes to get in the store, they are handing out masks to unmasked people at the door, and I saw a woman wearing a mask adorned with sequins. Sequins! It was very Pandemic at the Disco, and I like it. Hope you are all having a good week, stay safe, stay healthy. xo

Grievances, Big and Small; Ten Weeks In

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Big Grievance: Masks

Despite my diatribes about shopping carts, I like to think that I am a very open-minded person. Unless a person is blatantly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or similar, I am usually able to see things from their point of view, even if I disagree, be it about politics, parenting, books and movies, or moustaches.

Small grievance digression: the boys are STILL sporting moustaches, and have no intentions of shaving “until this is all over” which, really, is so vague as to make me believe that I am going to be looking at Ned Flanders/ Errol Flynn facial hair until the end of time.

Anyway, back to the big grievance. I have a policy not to get into arguments online; such arguments are futile and pointless and only lead to bad feelings. Generally speaking, no online argument has ever changed anyone’s mind and it only serves to fuel feelings of frustration about ignorance and the state of the world. However, a woman who I know vaguely through the yoga community posted a link about Costco requiring masks to shop at its warehouses, with the caption “Not a chance! I will stop shopping there if they push me to wear a mask. How ridiculous!” The comments – don’t read the comments, people – were supportive of this anti-mask stance, in that “we have to stand up for our rights!” Our rights to shop at Costco maskless? I guess.

At this point I wasn’t trying to start an argument, I was curious. Why though? Why no mask? Was there an actual physical issue that precludes mask-wearing? What is the big deal? I equate stores requiring masks with the ubiquitous No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service policy; I really wanted to know her reasoning.

The answer, such as it was, that it was she did not think that masks are useful and that she believes in her right to choose.

Her right to choose, as if this was an abortion issue, not a let’s-wear-masks-during-a-global-pandemic-for-an-hour-to-buy-groceries issue.

Also, you know who DOES think mask-wearing is useful? The entire medical community.

I pressed on a little, and kept getting comments that “people’s rights are being taken away” and “this was oppression,” which, really. Oppression. Rights being taken away. If wearing a mask indicates one’s level of oppression and lack of human rights, then one is living a very charmed and lucky life. Imagine equating a mask with oppression. Imagine talking to a woman from, say, Iran about your rights being taken away.

All this from a yoga teacher, who should, by all definitions, be concerned about the more vulnerable in our society and who also would require people visiting her studio to remove their shoes upon entering. Even in my old stroke survivor yoga class, students removed their shoes upon entering the studio, the only exception being a person who was in a scooter and whose feet never touched the floor. If we yoga teachers can require shoe removal as a sign of respect and cleanliness, then I think we could also put something over our noses and mouths in a time where an extremely contagious respiratory virus is rampant.

Well, I don’t unfriend people easily – it took me twelve years to unfriend my cousin who constantly spewed anti-vaccination information and promoted his diet as precluding the need for vaccinations and modern medicine – but this was a no-brainer. I have no time for this. However, there is always a bright side. Based on the people who are going to boycott Costco for mask requirements, there should be fewer people in the queue to get in; fewer STUPID and SELFISH people in the queue. Oppression of human rights indeed.

(I don’t know who to credit for this image but I like it)

Small Grievance: Child Benefit

I do not ever apply for the Canada Child Benefit while filling out my tax return. As far as I can see, I do not qualify for anything, which is perfectly fine, of course. So when I received an envelope from Revenue Canada, I stared at it before opening. Did I file something wrong? Nothing strikes fear in the heart quite like an unexpected envelope from Revenue Canada. What I found inside was startling: my Child Benefit had been calculated, and my annual entitlement was to be deposited into my account shortly. My annual entitlement of $3.28.

$3.28! I’m sure the costs of calculation, mailing, and depositing far exceeded that amount, but okay. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a very small latte, or a block of tofu and a pack of gum.

Very Small Grievance: Rogue Spinach Leaves

Every day I make myself a green smoothie and every day, every single day, there is one spinach leaf that gets stuck on the side of the blender and refuses to be a part of it. That is, when I’m lucky it’s stuck on the side of the blender; sometimes it drops into the smoothie, unperceived by me until I drink it and get a soft, weird-tasting leaf in my mouth.

I’ve tried everything, and still, one leaf.

Not Really A Grievance: Goutweed

My very lovely elderly neighbour, many years ago, transplanted and watered a particularly invasive and ugly non-variegated variety of goutweed in the space between our houses. She is unable to do yardwork now, and the goutweed had spread and grown and started to choke out our shrubs and the variegated, snow-on-the-mountain goutweed that was also growing in that space. It had also started to creep into one of my gardens, and something had to be done. The boys and I spent two and a half hours yesterday digging it out. Have you ever tried to dig out goutweed? There is a reason it is used as an aggressive groundcover. As I said, this is not really a grievance, as I really enjoy this type of work, and it was a Project that was Very Satisfying to complete. My muscles are a TINY bit sore though; apparently goutweed can be used medicinally for inflammation. This seems like the ultimate irony.

Pandemic Reading

If we want to talk about oppression…this book deals with an “honour killing.” It’s quite fascinating and explores a community in which rules are rigid and women’s rights are non-existent.

A woman deals with her nasty husband’s sudden and extreme spiritual awakening; this book is very witty and also ended much differently than I thought it would, which I genuinely like.

This was okay, a light weekend-style read.

Yummy Things

Other than yesterday, the week was cold and rainy, which I usually find Oppressive Like Masks, but for some reason I instead found the rain to be energizing and invigorating. I went for walks in the rain – what have I become – and I leaned in hard to Cozy Rainy Day activities. I made three different kinds of ice cream – mint, strawberry, and vanilla caramel swirl – baked a lot, and made jam.

Also, three perfect avocados! At the same time!

Our Sunday dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries, a very nice treat after all that digging.

Pandemic Fitness

My Sunday walk took me to the university; I hadn’t been on campus since 1998, and I was surprised to see so many changes, so many new and beautiful buildings. It was good to see my old stomping grounds to be basically unchanged – except for the absence of the Prairie Chicken! – and just as ugly as it used to be. Ah, I can feel the dinginess of those windowless offices just by looking at this.

Never did I think I would become a woman who would wear her son’s outgrown windbreaker to run in the drizzle, but here we are.

I hope you are all having a fabulous, unoppressed week. Fight the power! xo

Pandemic Mother’s Day and Panic; Eight Weeks In

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I had to physically go to my calendar and count, because it seemed wrong today; eight weeks? This is the ninth week now? The calendar has reassured me that yes, those are the numbers we are working with today. Eight weeks in quarantine, or, semi-quarantine, I guess. Can you say you’re in quarantine if you are the designated grocery shopper and prescription picker-upper? In any case, we have just completed our eighth week of *gestures widely* all this.

You may have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start having serious kitchen dance parties with a carrot.

You may also have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start reorganizing and cleaning your spice cupboard, when you decide that you must move all the living room furniture to clean underneath it where the Roomba can’t go, and when you go into an incredible panic spiral when baking powder becomes unavailable.

Here’s the thing: I have baking powder. I buy it at Costco and so I always have backup. But for some reason, the lack of baking powder on the shelves, even though I do not currently need baking powder and in fact it will be a while before I do actually run out of baking powder, has me completely Panicking At The Disco. The Carrot Disco, if you will. I started to search up substitutions for baking powder and discovered cream of tartar, mixed with baking soda, can be effectively used, and so I started adding cream of tartar to Every Online Shopping Order. At one point, my husband asked me to please stop, we surely have enough cream of tartar, which – prior to the Pandemic At The Disco – I only ever used to make play dough. It has been a while, dear reader, since I made play dough.

I felt powerless to stop my quest for baking powder. I came across this article – What a Starvation Experiment Reveals About 2020 Food Insecurity – and it is fascinating. I had read about that experiment before, in terms of how food restriction permanently shifts your brain chemistry and behaviour, and it is fascinating to think that one day in the far future, we might still be trolling aisles and grabbing desperately for yeast and flour and toilet paper and – in my case – baking powder. What is this Pandemic doing to our brains and behaviour patterns? The economist in me will be interested in future studies, but meanwhile, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen mixing 3/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar with 1/4 teaspoon baking soda.

Another thing that has been absent from grocery shelves for weeks is sauerkraut. This is not something that affects me personally as I am not a fan of sauerkraut in the least, but my husband and younger son enjoy it, and one of the lunches they have been making recently is corned beef Reuben sandwiches. They were down to their last forkful of sauerkraut, and at that time it had been completely unavailable for three weeks, but my darling friend Denise – HI DENISE – came through and gave us a jar.

How was your Mother’s Day? After a few weeks of gorgeous weather, it turned cold and snowed a bit, so naturally I went to the garden centre Sunday morning to buy a few plants. I figured there would be very few people there and I was right. Traditionally this is my Mother’s Day gift – plants – but the boys also surprised me with popcorn and a viewing of my favourite movie, When Harry Met Sally, on Saturday night. We had a barbeque Sunday, and a nice family walk, and altogether it was a lovely, if cold, day.

Pandemic Reading

This is the sequel to Lives of the Saints, and I read it shortly after studying Lives of the Saints in first year university. I must have blocked it out. It’s a very dreary book and very sad; if you are in the market for a lot of brooding and a quest for belonging, then this is the book for you.

I read this for my long-defunct book club back in 2003, and it’s still a really wonderful read; a lovely celebration of womanhood and sisterhood. I really enjoy reading books that delve into a female point of view of a traditionally male story; this is a Biblical re-imagining around the story of Jacob and Joseph.

I loved this book when it first came out and I can see why: it’s a fascinating story about the Russian pairs skaters Gordeeva and Grinkov. There is a lot of detail about how the Soviets identified and trained young athletes, and then how lives changed with the breakup of the USSR. It’s a love story, of course, but if you are interested in figure skating, it is fascinating from that point of view.

I have been reading one Mary Oliver poem a day, just before I start my yoga practice. I limit myself to just one poem and then I think about it all day; her poetry is beautiful and uplifting.

Pandemic Fitness

It’s been a good week for walks and runs, and I bought some new running shoes, curbside, from The Tech Shop. They were having an insanely good sale, and while it was a bit disappointing that the only colour they had in the shoes that I like was exactly the same as my old shoes, the new ones are so nice and cushy.

I hope you all are still well. Stay safe! xo

DIY Orthodontia; Seven Weeks In

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On Saturday morning, my “Born to Run” playlist started with Crazy Train and It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine), and ended with Don’t Stop Believing, and it felt all very symbolic.

Back when Calgary had the terrible flood in 2013, I remember a very strong feeling of dissonance. On the one hand, all the news was about the flood, showing footage of ruined homes and the downtown core underwater, familiar spots like the zoo and the river pathways obliterated. But then, I would step outside my house and everything was normal. It was a very strange feeling, this knowing that something was terribly wrong and yet in my bubble, everything was fine.

In a way, this is how the Pandemic feels. I’m hearing about people refusing to social distance, refusing to stay home; I’m seeing actual protests – people literally protesting – from the States over closures, people going to the beach, people refusing to wear masks in public. And it’s bizarre. Again, in my bubble, everything is fine. I go for multiple walks a day and I run a few times a week, and so I encounter many people out enjoying their constitutionals, and always, we give each other space. People – myself included – step into the street or cross the street to avoid going into someone else’s 2 metre bubble. Runners and cyclists – myself and my kids included – give at least two to three times the recommended berth when passing others. I do see people socializing, but at huge distances: friends having a chat, one person on their front step and the other on the sidewalk, friends having a drink together twenty feet away in a different driveway, moms in their minivans in empty parking lots, all parked ten feet away from each other. In the grocery store, at least eighty percent of shoppers have masks on, maybe more. Shopping is slow because each person waits until their fellow shoppers have made selections before approaching the shelf and making their own selection.

Sure, I have had the occasional person get too close to me in the past eight weeks, and I have seen the occasional people out walking together who don’t live in the same house, but by far that’s the exception. The vast majority of people are following protocol.

So I have hope that this will continue as Alberta starts slowly opening things up this week. I do not feel in any way ready to start going places, other than the grocery store and maybe also the garden centre, in a few weeks. Maybe.

The one thing I’m very glad of is that orthodontists are starting to reopen, and I feel that of all places, they will be able to keep things clean and sterile. My younger son is a month overdue for his appointment; just after it was cancelled one of his brackets started to loosen. I didn’t think that constituted an emergency, but the office was still open for phone calls. The nice lady assured me that indeed, it wasn’t an emergency at all and even if the bracket fell off his tooth entirely, he could just leave it dangling on the wire. If that bothered him, then I could just cut the wire myself and remove the bracket. I was extremely startled by that revelation and asked her with what I could cut the wire. The answer was even more disturbing: if I didn’t have wire clippers then toenail clippers would be fine. Just be sure to wash them first! she said perkily.

Well, yes.

I’m not sure at what point I would be desperate enough to poke around in my son’s mouth with wire clippers – or, god, toenail clippers – and I don’t think there is any level of sterilization that would make me comfortable with taking the tool that cuts my husband’s toenails and putting it in my son’s mouth to cut a metal wire near his throat opening. What could possibly go wrong. Apparently there are a number of YouTube videos that show how to take off your own braces and well. Thankfully, we are nowhere near that point. We can wait, thank you.

So I’ll be glad to get that professionally taken care of, whenever that should occur. The office is NOT taking phone calls at the moment; they were probably immediately flooded with calls the minute the news came out. I myself phoned and was greeted with a message to the effect that they are not making appointments and that THEY will call in the order in which our appointments were cancelled. Hopefully this will happen in the next month or so.

Today is cold and rainy but we have had a beautiful stretch of weather, so there has been much yard work accomplished along with some weird, adrenaline-fueled cleaning projects, like cleaning both fridges prior to the weekly grocery shop, washing the insides of the windows, and cleaning the kitchen cupboards – again. Apparently with everyone home all the time, things get dirtier than usual, who knew.

Pandemic Reading

Out of the blue I remembered one of my favourite Alice Munro stories, Tricks, that features a green dress. I haven’t read this collection for years; Alice Munro is one of my favourite writers and this might be my favourite collection of hers. Then again, every time I read Munro I think this is my favourite! so…

Judy, I love you, but I did not love this. It is, however, a very interesting timepiece about marriage in the 70s, the expectations for women, and swinging.

I studied this in first year university English – all the symbolism, all of it – and it’s very good. Hooray for Canadian literature.

Pandemic Fitness

A kind of negative aspect of my personality that not many people see is that I have a tendency towards competitiveness. I try to keep it on the down low. I joined a community group that is tracking kilometres walked or ran during the month of May and I am killing it. I already am at almost 28 kilometres for the month and it is 7:30 am, May 4.

Yummy Things

For dessert this week I made a chocolate mousse pie; I had baked peanut butter cookies earlier in the week and they disappeared pretty quickly. I haven’t been baking many cookies lately – I’ve been on more of a loaf/ muffin spree – and my sons requested my “classic OG cookies” which, apparently, is code for chocolate chip.

It’s been nice enough for drinks in the back yard as well.

May the Fourth

And it’s Star Wars Day! Here’s a flashback from 2015, me not practicing social distancing with Chewbacca:

He was so soft and silky! Happy Star Wars Day everyone! I hope your week is lovely and full of virtual soft and silky hugs. xo

Pandemic Hair Colour; Five Weeks In

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Well, it couldn’t be put off any longer. God love you all for taking this pandemic opportunity to embrace your greys or revert to your natural colour but believe me when I say that this wasn’t a good option for me. For one thing, as anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows, I do not have the occasional silvery strand highlighting my hair. I am 100% grey, and last week, I took a look at myself and was very unhappy.

In the harsh fluorescent lights of the Costco warehouse, my white/ grey roots were a stark contrast to my dry, orange, straw-like hair. I knew it was time.

I hadn’t coloured my own hair in well over twenty years. The last time I coloured my hair it was the Nineties; I was in grad school, I owned and wore crop tops. Things were different back then but wisdom comes with the years, and in my case, I had watched my hair therapist and her colour methodology with increasing frequency as time went by.

If you find yourself in a similar situation – and aren’t we all in this together? – start with the hair around your face and temples, and then go to the roots. Begin at the top of your head, taking the hair into sections, and work yourself down to the sides. Once the roots are done, start massaging the colour into the rest of your hair, like you are in a shampoo commercial, piling your hair on top of your head if possible.

I will tell you right now that last week, when I wielded my box of colour, my husband was extremely discouraging. I don’t know if he thought I would give myself a nervous breakdown – which, let’s face it, is totally possible – but he kept asking why I didn’t wait another week, just in case I didn’t like the colour. “I don’t know why you need to do it THIS week,” he kept saying to me, “I can’t even SEE any grey.” I could only conjecture that he was either a) lying, or b) visually impaired. He’s a pretty bad liar so I guess it’s true, love is blind.

Vanity, am I right? I do not know what it would be like not to care about my appearance. I told him what I will tell you now, and that is that I could not even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Waiting one more week made no sense to me. Why put off the inevitable? And as it turns out, I am very happy with the result.

I’m so happy with the result, in fact, that I’m looking a little askance at the sheer amount of time and money I have spent getting my hair done. Well. Several months ago I spent a lot of time and energy wondering if I should grow my hair out longer, and, as with so many other things, the decision is now taken out of my hands. There’s something very serene about having no choice, at least in this matter.

It may seem like a little thing to you, but colouring my own hair made such a big difference in my outlook on life. It gave me a lift; I felt pretty and perky. I feel like I have control over something in my life, which right now is a pretty momentous thing. I have no idea how long boxed colour will last – red is notorious for fading – but at $6.99 a shot, I’m not too concerned.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and as a gift from the universe, spring has finally arrived. It has been a LONG winter, and it has been a dreadfully cold and snowy March and April, and the sudden arrival of warmer temperatures and melting snow feels like an incredible gift. We have been going on long family walks every Sunday since this began, and yesterday I wore shoes. SHOES! Not boots! Speaking of which…

Pandemic Fitness

I have been going for very long – 10k – solo walks on Saturday mornings, and this week the paths were all melted off so I decided to run for half of it. I haven’t had a run since March 15, and I haven’t had an outdoor run since injuring myself last May. I wanted to do 5k and that’s what I did – and it felt fantastic.

Pandemic Reading

I read Bridget Jones’ Diary back when I was colouring my own hair, in the late Nineties, and it was so charming. I just loved it back then! The reference to stones, and Milk Tray, and Country Casuals. It was just so British and witty, but I have to say that it’s either the stage of life I am in or just the year 2020, but I found it much less charming. Although, there is a hilarious piece about programming VCRs. Remember how hard it was to record something? Remember having to actively record something? I actually clearly remember in the early 2000s, when we were first able to pause and rewind live television and well. What an age we live in.

I first read this on my honeymoon, back in 2002. This DID hold up well for me – it’s a beautiful and fascinating look into the geisha life, and it’s an interesting look at how Japan was affected in the second world war.

This was a nice light love story for a weekend read: if you don’t remember the love of your life, is he still the love of your life?

I’m off to spend as much time outside as possible; I hope the sun is shining where you are. xo