Now that it is cooler in the mornings, and I don’t worry about Rex’s paws on hot sidewalks, I have been adding “urban” walks back into my weekly routine. I say “urban” because although the routes follow sidewalks and streets, we pass fields of cows and horses, flower farms, beaches, and the Country Club at which Rex is periodically boarded. Last Sunday we were taking such a route, a loop of 7 kilometres, when we came across a large amount of backed up traffic. I thought it was a construction delay, but no. As I approached the intersection it became clear that there was some kind of road race going on, and traffic was stopped to allow a seemingly endless amount of runners to pass.
This is my biggest grievance with this city: the lack of signage for roadblocks and sidewalk closures. I cannot count how many times I have been out walking and suddenly, without warning, the sidewalk would be ripped up or otherwise blocked off, leaving me with two suboptimal options: doubling back for blocks until I found a crosswalk, or jaywalking. Would it kill them to put up a sign? On this day, there were no markers indicating a running route, merely neon-clad people with stop signs at various intersections, gesturing that-a-way. In fact, not all roads were blocked off and it was apparent that the race itself was taking place on the sidewalks and bike lanes; vehicles were driving on the roads with the runners, but of course, were blocked from driving through the runners.
I witnessed a wild case of road rage, wherein a truck tried to turn right. He had been driving on the road with the runners, but was waiting for a gap in the crowd of runners to turn, at which point he would no longer be in the running route. He started to turn when there was a gap. I suppose he would have made it just fine, without, you know, mowing anyone over, but one of the race workers ran up and started hitting the slow-moving truck with his stop sign. The truck, unbelievably, kept going while the neon-clad man shrieked and pummelled his truck. How the fuck am I going to get to work? the driver of the truck screamed back at the neon-clad man. It was upsetting but also? Some signage to say that the road would not be passable would be nice. An ounce of prevention, etcetera. We do not condone road rage here at the Boyhouse, but I was reminded of one of my former bosses, who told me sometimes he really could understand Michael Douglas’s character in Falling Down.
As it was, I was standing there, unable to cross the street, wondering what to do. I was not the only confused pedestrian: there were many walking on the other, non-running side of the street. I desperately wanted to join them, but that would involve crossing through the flood of runners and also Frogger-ing through moving cars. I neither wanted to get run over nor pummelled with a stop sign. Rex was getting more and more excited with the crowd of runners and cheering people. Let me tell you something about Rex: he is a very good dog, he is well-behaved and affectionate, he listens and understands when I talk to him. However. When he gets excited, he barks. He does not bark when a stranger enters our home, but a friend? Bark bark bark. He’s the world’s worst guard dog. He is also huge, and so his bark is loud and deep and non-dog people can be unsettled by this. I suppose I could have turned around and retraced the way I came, but I was more than halfway by that point, and I didn’t want to add an extra three kilometres to our walk. I made a choice, and I went with it. Since I couldn’t cross the street safely, I short-leashed barking Rex and started to walk against the flow of runners, keeping as far out of the way as I could. I thought if I could just get past this mass of people, I could zip across the street and be out of the crowd. Optimism! It’s my downfall.
Unfortunately for me, as soon as I made this decision, the 2:00 pacemaker ran by (was it a half marathon? I still don’t know because THERE WAS NO SIGNAGE), and with him was a mass of people. Now we were fully in the crowd, but going the other direction. As the bystanders cheered, so did Rex. Bark bark bark. In this grim way we walked another block and a half, which was the longest block and a half of my life. I saw a small gap in the runners AND the vehicle traffic, and I immediately seized the day and my chance. I ran across the street and broke free of the crowd. Relieved, I thought I could wind my way down to Lakeshore Road and from there make my way back to the car.
What a great plan! Except that by the time I got to Lakeshore, it became apparent that it too was part of the race route, except now we were trapped walking WITH the flow of runners. Happily, these were the super-fast runners – the Catrinas, if you will (HI CATRINA) – and so they were few and far between. Unhappily, as they passed us at their high speeds, Rex got excited with the thought of running! With people! And so again I short-leashed him and tried my best to keep out of the way. Awww cute dog! the runners said as they passed. I smiled weakly. Rex barked.
Finally, I could see more neon-clad people up ahead, directing the runners to turn left. Traffic, again, was backed up massively. Now I had a plan! I could walk past the turnoff and keep going straight. I would be free! Hopefully no vehicles would angrily u-turn onto the sidewalk and run me over, given that traffic was backed up as far as the eye could see, but I could find my way back to the car. Eventually.
By this time, Rex had calmed down. He wasn’t trying to run. He wasn’t barking. Few people were running past us now, similar to the number of people who would run past us on a normal, non-chaotic day. We approached the corner where the runners were turning left. I could taste the finish line, as it were. Not the literal finish line – who knew where THAT would be – but I would be out of this chaos. And as I approached the turnoff, I heard claps and cheering and you can do it! type commentary.
But there was no one around me.
I looked around. The bystanders were cheering for me! I smiled a little sheepishly. I’m not…I’m not in this race? I said, which felt like a statement of the obvious, to which a woman replied We know. We just like your dog. Rex barked.
Weekly Reading
American Fantasy. I wasn’t prepared for a book about middle-aged ladies on a booze cruise that features a middle-aged boy band loosely based on the New Kids on the Block to be a moving statement on midlife reinvention and revival, but here we are. It took me about fifty pages to really get into this book, because there are so many characters and it was hard to keep track of who’s who. But once it got going, it really captivated me. I was never a NKOTB fan even though I was exactly the right age, but I knew a lot of girls who were, and this felt like a peek into crazed fandom. It also felt so resonant, the musings of middle age and what it is like to be in your fifties. It did not make me want to go on a cruise, let alone a musical cruise, but it made me smile and also think a lot about the little gifts that life gives us.
Clutch. This really seemed like a book I would love – five women navigating friendships, relationships, careers, and motherhood. But the truth is that I should have DNF’d it. I should have known after the first few chapters, when the women take mushrooms in chocolate form and then go shopping, that this book was not for me. And yet for some ungodly reason I pushed through. I found it incredibly dull and tedious, with excessive detail and telling, not showing, with no nuance or emotion. I did not care about a single character except for a horrifying scene involving dogs. I cared about the dogs. The rest of this was a total slog and I wish I hadn’t wasted my time. Ah well, onward and upward.
Limelight. I really enjoyed this author’s The Sweet Spot, so I thought I’d check out her back catalogue. This book is about a woman who moves with her family from Dallas to NYC, and through a series of events, becomes a personal assistant to an absolutely odious teenage pop star, with the job to get him ready for his Broadway debut. It turns out that I really don’t like reading about odious teenage pop stars, so this book wasn’t a win for me by any stretch. However, I really do love Poeppel’s writing style, so I am going to try again with another of her books. The writing style was what kept me going, despite disliking the story.
Happy October, friends! I realized, in preparing to do another Ask Me Anything, that I have not answered a question from the last one, ten months ago. Whoops! That will be for next week, and apologies to my friend and one of my longest-term readers, Steph (HI STEPH). In the meantime, don’t forget about Elisabeth’s walking club, the CBWC (HI ELISABETH) and perhaps you too can become an unwitting participant in a road race. xo
I like your Fall sky background! That lack of signage is insane and unsafe. I think they just block off entire roads here. I have to say that I feel for that truck driver. And how sweet that Rex was recognized for his athleticism 🙂
American Fantasy was a clever and funny book, IMO. And I did enjoy Limelight. I had two DNF’s last week – one was the Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead book. I got through 100 pages and then I just felt it was too depressing. I was disappointed as I really liked Sunshine Nails. It was just the topic for me. The other DNF was The Names by Florence Knapp. I gave up after a few chapters. Total snooze fest!
Bijoux, I also felt for the truck driver. Imagine thinking it would be a quiet Sunday morning – as it always is – and then being stuck INDEFINITELY trying to turn right. While being late for work. Some kind of signage would have prevented the whole thing!
I enjoyed American Fantasy so much more than I expected – it was so fun and fresh, with some really smart insights.
I actually liked The Names…it was an interesting concept, at least! But you really had to stick with it for the payoff(s).
What a great story Nicole. As someone who has participated in many races from 5K to marathons I felt immersed in your story and feel your pain. Loved that Rex was bark cheering and that you two got cheered. I also know the rage drivers well. Even in Toronto where notice was given all over the place – radio, newspapers, etc. Your Geese analogies were excellent!
Hahaha, I couldn’t possibly manage to take photos and control Rex at the same time, so I thought the geese would be nicely illustrative!
I like the zinnia border at the top.
What an ordeal! I can see why you made the decisions you did, though, at each point, given the info (or lack of it) you had.
I think I remember my question, now that I think of it, but I’m not sure, so it will be interesting to see if I’m right (and of course what the answer is).
I couldn’t believe I never answered your question FROM LAST DECEMBER! Well, hopefully it will be a nice surprise when I do!
Oh goodness, that road race sounds like quite the avoidable nightmare. Not avoidable by you, obviously, or the poor angry truck driver, but yeah, a little signage could have avoided a lot of misery. I’m glad Rex had such a good time and was appreciated! Mulder was the only barky dog I ever had. My other two dogs, Samantha and Genevieve, rarely if ever barked. So while I have always considered myself a dog person, I was not used to that and a barking dog would scare me. Maya had a friend with a very barky dog and I was pretty much convinced he was going to eat us all. Then we got Mulder, who barked more in a day than most dogs in their entire life, and I learned a different way of living.
Yes, and with Rex’s size, I have to be careful because it can come across very scary, even though I know the difference between his happy bark and his angry bark. The angry bark comes out only rarely!
I love the new layout of your site. At first, it took me by surprise? Have I landed on Nicole’s blog or some other site by mistake? But no, the writing and tone is unmistakably yours. Love how you somehow managed to join the race with Rex and get applauded.
Thank you Pearl! My old theme was not supported by wordpress so I thought I would change things up. Hopefully it makes the site more functional!
Your new blog layout is gorgeous!
I love that you and Rex got cheered! Of course you got cheered! You are both very cheer-worthy! It is frustrating that the running route wasn’t clearly marked, and the road rage incident sounds scary for everyone. But it’s also a bit comical to think of the man whacking the truck with his stop sign! The whole thing could be a hilarious scene in one of your next books! ❤️
Thanks so much, Michelle, you are always so kind!!!
It IS comical to think about the stop sign pummelling now that I’m not there! I mean, objectively it was quite a funny sight! Although not funny at the time.
I started reading this post and got all excited to tell you about my similar experience this very morning (construction closed a sidewalk after I had used that sidewalk outbound, and I was not sure what to do about my inbound journey), but then your obstruction situation was like a thousand times more extreme than mine (I jaywalked and then had to add like a tenth of a mile to my route), so we’ll just leave it there. I loved “I smiled weakly.” I loved that they KNEW you weren’t in the race but “just liked your dog.”
You’re the second person who has recommended that American Fantasy book (the first is my sister-in-law), and it DOES sound like my cup of tea.
Oh, it is SO annoying to have to jaywalk! Like, they couldn’t let you know that the sidewalk is closed? Ugh, it is so annoying.
I do think you’d like American Fantasy, it was a fun book. Although it did take me a bit to get into it because there are a LOT of characters to keep straight.
Love the new blog look – beautiful flowers and sky!
Signage at the right place makes all the difference. Even following detour signs to get around road work can be frustrating but at least it gets you where you need to go. So, yes, let’s reduce sign whacking on trucks and put up signs! Also, how nice to be cheered by the crowd LOL.
Thank you Jacquie! I’m considering changing the background with the seasons. Maybe?
“Reduce sign whacking” is a really good goal and I think the city should embrace it!
That was a pretty funny story..did Rex get a participation ribbon?! lol
I should make him a participation ribbon!!!
“We know, we just like your dog.” LOVE THAT. What a great interaction.
That skyscape is gorgeous, Nicole! What beautiful colors! I love your blog look, too!!!! So pretty!
Thanks so much Suzanne, I’m considering changing the photos with the season, but we’ll see if I do!
Oh dear, I think you might have heard about Clutch from me! We’ve had a string of books that we felt differently about… Ekes! You are probably going to give some major side eye to books I loved going forward! American Fantasy seemed like it was not the right book for me but you have me rethinking that decision. I did like NKOTB but wasn’t a superfan. My elementary school besties and her sister had NKOTB comforters on their beds!
Oof, your town definitely needs to work on race signage. My city is very good about giving advanced warning about road closures but it’s a major metro area so I suppose they kind of have to. The road rage situation sounded terrible, though! I love that you got some cheers from randos because they liked their dog!
No side eye, we have had lots of bookish overlap!
I WISH there was more signage. I don’t think it would be that hard to have some notice that roads were going to be closed/ backed up. Sunday mornings are usually so quiet, so it would be really unexpected and annoying for drivers.
Hannah and I would have turned around and walked back. Or called Ted and asked for a ride. She is a good dog and listens to me mostly, but she CANNOT with runners or LARGE GROUPS of people. She must protect me and herself from those types of people. Bless Rex for being so good-natured.
One of my favorite things about American Fantasy is WHICH boy band you think it’s about. I also think it’s NKOTB, but some people think it’s Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Menudo (this seems like a big stretch to me), or Take That. I LOVE what it says about us as readers what we read into it.
Engie, I heard Emma Straub on a podcast and she talked about NKOTB, so I think you and I are correct. Also – there were brothers, one gay guy, and an off-the-rails youngest group member, and to my memory that was also NKOTB. But I do like thinking that it could be Menudo. I mean, I haven’t thought of Menudo in YEARS, so that makes me smile.
I really love your storytelling! And I chuckled at the end of this story. Who would NOT love Rex?
Thanks so much Heidi! xo
Hahaha… I love that people were cheering for you and Rex- that is hilarious. Also- I’m a runner but I can totally empathize with the people trying to get by! I would have been that guy screaming and swearing that I had to get to work.
I LOVE the new blog look!
Thanks so much, Jenny!
Yes, obviously SAFETY FIRST but also, dude just wanted to get to work!!!
Rick and I just encountered a 5k charity walk when trying to run an errand. Like your experience, there was zero signage, and to make matters worse, part of it was right along a college campus. Between the runners and all the students meandering to classes, it took us twice as long to get where we wanted to go.
I think there should be an event whereby people walk by with their dogs and we all get to see them and cheer or clap for them. Maybe they could even wear numbers so we could vote for them in different categories: Cutest Smile, Best Tail-Wagging, Most Energetic Walking, etc. I am all over that.
I AM IN. Best tail-wagging! I feel like Rex would be a top contender in so many categories!!!
LOL I love this so much. Dorothy and I volunteered at a race last weekend– we WERE the neon-clad people cheering (mile marker 3 for us) and we DID cheer for cute dogs 🙂
YES! I love it!
Oh goodness. I cannot believe there wasn‘t any signage (or ways to get across the race route)…. it was the Kelowna Half Marathon (a friend of mine raced it!). I am sorry you got stuck in it – that’s no fun – but at least Rex had a blast with all the people!
I am a NKOTB fan and so I think I must read American Fantasy just to see what it’s all about. I would not go on a musical cruise, but I did travel to Boston once to track the boys down LOL
That’s what it was? WHY WEREN’T THERE ANY SIGNS??? I walk every single day and not once in the preceding days did I see any indication of any race whatsoever!!! So silly, it would be so easy to put up a couple of signs.
I didn’t know you liked NKOTB! I think you’d enjoy this book. It surprised me how much I enjoyed it!
This was a fun and suspense read! Although probably not fun while you were living it. Rex is just the best!
* suspenseful – I always read my comments afterwards and find typos. Yikes!
Hahaha it wasn’t super fun at the time, but it did make for a good story!
First of all, before I forget, what a fabulous new look here. It’s so pretty! And very fall. What an adventure! Not necessarily one you’ll choose to remember. Bad signage is so frustrating but your wonderful words bring some humor and fun to what I can only imagine was both a frustrating and stressful situation. But cheers to Rex — always a crowd pleaser!
Thank you Jeanie!
It was a tricky situation for those 1 1/2 blocks, but at least it was a funny story!
I feel your pain on the signage! Even with signs it’s sometimes a nightmare. For the Rotterdam marathon, the past couple of years, they insist on going around the metro station, which means that all the people who do the 10k before marathon can’t use that station to park (car or bycicle) cause there’s no gap in the runners afterwards. I have to keep looking at the map to figure out which routes are options and where we can walk to cheer our people on. My people do the 10K, not the marathon 😉
I hope your town does better next year!
Oh, what a pain! That’s really irritating for everyone!
HAHA NICOLE!!! This is hilarious!!! 😂
Being on the other side of the fence, I happily enjoy all those wonderfully traffic-free roads and intersections, blissfully unaware of the chaos happening around me. It’s quite eye-opening to see what it looks like from the other side, especially when you’re just trying to take your dog for a peaceful walk!
That complete lack of signage sounds absolutely maddening. I mean, even in South Africa, race organisers put up signs along the roads a week in ADVANCE so everyone knows the roads will be blocked.
But Rex is the real star of this story, getting his own cheering section. “We know. We just like your dog.” PERFECT ending!
PS: I really like the new blog layout, too. Very polished! 🤩
Catrina, that’s all I want – A SIGN to say that this route will be blocked off at a certain time. I’m sure everyone who was driving around, expecting little-to-no Sunday morning traffic, was inconvenienced! If I had known, I would have walked a different route entirely!
And thank you – I’m pleased with the layout as well, and hopefully it is functional.
Gah! What an unnecessary cluster! I’ve been IN road races where passersby got sucked in, but have not been on the other side of things.
Doggo does not do well with strangers that we pass on walks. She doesn’t just bark, she growls and lunges. She’s never bitten anyone, but she sure makes it seem like she’s going to, so we would have had to turn around and add an extra 3k to our walk.
Yikes! I didn’t know Doggo was so reactive. That makes walking a bit stressful!
oh you did a revamp of your blog!!! looks great!
sorry for the struggle crossing runners during the race. the “hate”must be mutual. i know how annoying we could be.
Thanks for the honest review of Clutch, I wanted to take a look, now I won’t!
Thanks Coco!
I wouldn’t have minded at all IF THEY HAD PUT SIGNAGE UP!!! I mean, I don’t blame the runners at all, I blame the city for being so stupid with communication!
Love the blog look!
I am smiling about Rex getting such a warm welcome.
I saw a photo of someone’s dog (MY DAUGHTER’S SPECIAL FRIEND… how are those words coming from my keyboard), and I was like: he looks like Rex. Which my daughter and her… special friend… had no real context for. Let Rex know I have seen multiple of his doppelgänger’s in the flesh in my area. I’m sure he’ll be impressed 🙂
I will let Rex know! Lol! Thank you!
The lack of signage is beyond frustrating! As both a walker and a driver! Who’s in charge of these kinds of things? You would think that would be the FIRST thing on the agenda.
I would have thought so too, Gigi, but no! I found out from San – above – that it was the Kelowna Half Marathon. San, who lives in California, knew more than me!
Rex would make my day whether I was a race participant or spectator! What a whole kerfuffle being blocked so much! We are still taking Maysie on trails, mostly, as she learns to chill with other dogs and be less scared of loud cars and the like; maybe someday she’ll be the star of a race experience, too, wittingly or not!
We did not have Rex as a puppy so maybe he was just the same as Maysie! I have faith she will be the star of the show (she’s already a star in my mind!)
The gasp I gasped at your new ‘look’! Sweet!!
The road race and you and Rex just trying to navigate an everyday walk is ridiculous. How do people get to work? Not everyone is involved with extracurricular activities and exercise! How frustrating. People should be warned.
Bummer about your sloggy books—hopefully the next ones will be winners.
I agree, people SHOULD be warned! Imagine, it’s Sunday morning, and usually it takes you five minutes to get to work because there’s no traffic. And suddenly you’re trapped for half an hour. It’s terrible!
I spent most of this post giggling in a horrified manner – it sounds like nightmares I’ve had. I had a big dog! And there were runners! And I was trying to walk the other way! It drives me BANANAS when stuff like this isn’t well signed – that should be, like, a law!
I was in your literal nightmare!!
I wish I could speak bark….Rex might have been yelling out “You’ve got this!” “You’re almost there” and “You can do it!” Or….maybe he was saying “Look at me, I’m racing too!!” and then those other people *could* speak bark, and that’s why they cheered for him! They just didn’t want to let you in on their little secret.
And on that little delirious note…can you tell it’s Friday night here? TGIF!
Hahahaha Kel, I laughed so much because ALL of those phrases could really apply. What a great comment, maybe everyone around me is speaking bark, and I need to brush up on my language skills!
I’d be annoyed AF if someone were banging on my car with a stop sign under those circumstances. Can’t fault the guy for trying to get to work, and it sounds like he was driving as cautiously as possible. People, man!
I know, I felt bad for him too. It’s Sunday morning, you’d figure you could just…get to work on time.