Last week I listened to a podcast on the case against convenience and efficiency in our modern life, and it was fascinating. Who DOES benefit from people being more “efficient” with their time? If we can get lunch delivered right to our offices, is that really better than walking to go pick it up? Who benefits? It’s not us, the people working through lunch. There is always a cost to convenience, and someone is paying. Sometimes it’s all of us, from an environmental standpoint, sometimes it is a workforce in poor conditions, sometimes it is through loss of personal security and identity. It has been many years since I have worked in an office, but this still resonated with me deeply, particularly the comment that we are all trying to save time, but what are we saving time for?
It’s a good question. Some longtime friends visited us this week, and we were talking about their upcoming retirements. I’m not sure if I can claim that I am retired since I’ve worked only part-time at most since March 2004, but my husband thinks that the key to a happy retirement is to become time-inefficient. This doesn’t mean that he’s lazy or unproductive, but instead it means that he doesn’t rush to cram everything into every possible moment of the day. His workouts are no longer a rushed hour before leaving for the office, but a whole-morning affair, complete with stretching and meditation. Yard work is no longer crammed into the few weekend hours that weather would allow, which is a good thing, since we have so much more yard here than we did in Calgary. Life is more relaxed and happier, particularly since there are no longer insane demands on him, like meetings at 10:00 on Easter morning, as an example.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives, which is a sentiment I both love and also feel uncomfortable with, given that I spent at least five hours grocery shopping, driving to and from grocery stores, and putting away all the groceries this week. Is my life just groceries now? I suppose there are worse ways to spend my one wild and precious life.
One fun thing I spent time doing this week was make a double batch of cupcakes for my friend Sammi’s birthday (HI SAMMI). There was a big party for her, which was delightful. Happy birthday to my beautiful Sammi!
Speaking of friends and ways we spend our time, my friend Elisabeth (HI ELISABETH) is hosting her semi-annual walking club. It’s my time to shine! I am the QUEEN of the daily walk; I haven’t missed one since March 2020, and before that, I walked probably 99% of the days since Barkley came into our lives in September 2008. If my day is a tent, metaphorically speaking, then my daily walk is one of the tent poles adding structure to my life. It’s a time for moving meditation and podcast listening, gentle exercise and fresh air, enjoying being outside and the beauties of nature, such as this sight from last week.
Another tent pole in my daily life, for half the year at least, is the garden. At the party on Saturday, a friend’s husband asked me how my summer was. Great! I gardened all the time! I answered, garnering a puzzled and somewhat pitying look. Well, I love it, but garden season is coming to a close and I’m going to have to figure out what I did for all those hours in previous offseasons. Oh right, I wrote a book.
As will be obvious from my Favourite Things post last week, an important tent pole is my daily shower, makeup, and hair routine, together with, at the end of the day, my makeup removal, cream application, and dental hygiene routine. These are both very vital parts of my day, as in I cannot imagine my day without them. How would I function?
I saw something several months ago that I have thought of nearly every day since. A fairly well-known Canadian writer had posted a photo of herself in a t-shirt with something witty on it, and that was the point of the post. However. I cannot remember at all what the t-shirt said because the side note of the photo was that the writer was wearing two day old makeup. I cannot get over this. I have to remind myself that the world is a vast tapestry and we are not identical robots. Still. It’s hard for me to fathom not showering daily, let alone going TWO days shower-less, short of extreme illness, surgery recovery, or camping. It is harder still to imagine going two days without washing one’s face. What would her pillowcase look like? What does her skin look like? How does one have eye makeup on for two days without it devolving into raccoon eyes? WHAT KIND OF MAGIC MAKEUP IS THIS?
Well. As I said, we are all different and have different priorities and ways in which we choose to spend our time. I am comfortable with the tent poles that give structure to my days, and therefore, my life. Well, mostly. I would prefer to spend less time vacuuming the floor, which is a tedious tent pole of my day, but that’s the tradeoff for having this guy in my life.
Weekly Reading
Reading is, of course, an important part of my day, and I finished two very good books this week.
Big Little Lies. I first read this in 2017, but decided to reread in preparation for the newly released Big Little Truths, for which I am in the library queue. The queue is pretty long, so hopefully I won’t forget everything by the time my turn comes. Anyway. Rereading this catapulted me back into the days when my kids were in elementary school: the fundraising for Smart Boards, the mom cliques, the playground gossip. This is such a propulsive, funny, and very thoughtful read about a very serious subject: domestic abuse. Moriarty is an excellent writer, and I have a little six-degree connection – a woman in our Morocco tour group taught math to her daughter! I felt starstruck just knowing that! Also, Rex would like you to know that he’s not telling any lies, big or little.
Tunnel 29. Big thanks to blog reader Allison R (HI ALLISON R) for telling me about this excellent nonfiction book that reads like a novel! It details the creation of a tunnel underneath the Berlin Wall through which 29 people escaped East Berlin, but more than that, it is a picture of post-war Germany, the division of the country, and the very grim living situation of East German people, particularly those in East Berlin. I had no idea about the Stasi – the spy network – that infiltrated every part of East German life. This was a very fascinating book and one I’d recommend if you are interested in German and Soviet history. I clearly remember the Berlin Wall coming down, I was a teenager, and this brings so much more context to that event than I have ever had.
If I were more on the ball, I would have been singing Earth, Wind, and Fire’s September this time last week, but alas. Perhaps I’ll change it to the 28th night of September, just for today. How has your September been? I hope you have a beautiful week, friends! xo
REX!!! No, he would never tell any lies. You can just tell by that innocent face.
Ha, I like your husband’s goal of being time inefficient. I do feel like I’m usually trying to do everything as quickly as possible, but sometimes I’ll go to the gym on a day off, for example, and it feels so luxurious to NOT RUSH.
Tunnel 29 sounds really good. Ken Follett mentioned that tunnel in his Century trilogy books. It really was a fascinating situation- not so much for the people living in East Berlin, of course. I’d like to read this.
Time inefficient! I love that. Definitely a retirement goal. I used to sleep in my makeup, when I was in my teens and 20s, because I was too lazy to wash my face. Though often I would shower at night, so of course then I didn’t sleep in my makeup. But 2 day old makeup? That’s another level. “You do you, boo” I guess is what I would say to that author (Now I wish I knew who it was).
I never read Big Little Lies, though I’ve read a lot by Moriarty. I did watch the TV series, which was really good. Now I’ve put both Lies and Truths on hold. 7 week wait for Lies, twice that for Truths, so we’ll see how well I remember any of it.
That van! Hilarious.
Since retiring in October 2024, I find I really relish slow mornings. If friends ask to play tennis before 10.30, my answer is usually: Nope! I write in my journal, drink a few cups of coffee and my smoothie, do my morning stretches and gentle exercises, scroll on Insta, and then – I’m ready for the rest of my day to begin. I do find I rush through chores because I’d rather be doing something else, but then, part of life IS chores.
Tunnel 29 sounds so fascinating! I’ll add it to my ever-growing TBR list. I did not care for Big Little Lies but I struggle with books about gossip and cliquey mom groups/etc. It’s just too much drama for me. But Moriarty has so many fans, she doesn’t need me!
Your comments at the start about time efficiency is one of the main reason I’m not adopting AI. I have yet to use ChatGPT/Claude/etc. Why are we so obsessed with efficiency gains as a society? I personally am not. I do not judge those who use AI to save time on tasks they don’t want to do/enjoy doing. But I am tired of solving for maximum efficiency. I do that at work as, like most companies, mine is trying to get more done with less resources. I don’t want Claude to meal plan for me. I want to check out a cook book from the library and peruse recipes or as a friend for their favorite recipe. I don’t want to use Claude to plan my vacation because I like checking out travel books and puttering around on the internet to research what we should or shouldn’t do on our 10th anniversary trip to Yosemite National Park. This whole efficiency-obsessed cultural vibe is why my shouldless days are so important to me (but wow I am overdue for one). I like to have a day where there are no expectations and I do what feels right/good. And I feel zero guilt on those days.
I have spent the whole month of September at home, which I don’t take for granted any more. It’s been nice being in my own house with my own son, cats, and garden, though ours is much smaller than yours.
I’ve worked part time since my oldest was four, but I think I will consider myself retired when I stop, which I hope won’t be for 5 years or so, but with AI, who knows?
Rex’s face is almost tear-inducing. So, so cute.
When I retired from teaching, I swore I’d make Easing Into The Day my top priority. I had too many years of catapulting into the classroom in high heels before 7:30 AM, ready to entertain and, hopefully, teach. I also wanted to finally have days that were NOT broken up into 50-minute segments heralded by bells. And, one of the greatest luxuries? Going to the bathroom whenever I actually needed to.
I get that a great deal of the Efficiency/Convenience culture originally came out of COVID. Everything could be delivered! WFH was the norm. No in-person/up-close communication. Something like that can become habitual. But, like you, I wonder if the so-called Time Saved turns into Time Well Spent.
I like going to the grocery store(s) and getting my own stuff. Of course, I do have time in which to do that, and those who work see it more as a necessary evil/time suck. But the whole AI thing is ominous to me. I avoid it.
Oh my goodness, the two-day make-up thing! It reminds me of a colleague who once told me she didn’t remove her contact lenses for WEEKS. She just left them in 24/7 until she decided it was time to replace them. I still think about that one far too often.
I’m a big fan of Time INefficiency. I’m stealing that one from your husband!
Re: Tedious Tentpoles, you don’t have one of those robot vacuum cleaners, do you? I’m looking into getting one… although I have plenty of time to vacuum our floors. However, just like you, I just don’t particularly want to do it!
Time INefficient. I love this. Sometimes I’m very good at doing this. I would argue not all time inefficiency feels the same. Sometimes it feels relaxing and intentional, and sometimes it feels like spinning wheels. The latter makes me feel… not good. When I do the former, I feel great!
I have added Tunnel 29 to my VERY LONG TBR. Gah. It’s so long. It’s too long, Nicole. I need to ruthlessly cut some things off of it because… NEW BOOKS ARE STILL BEING PUBLISHED.
Vacuuming floors. It never ends. My husband ran our robot vacuum while we were at church yesterday and within an hour, I swear I could have vacuumed again. How do we track so much stuff through the house? I don’t have a dog, but I do have a tween and I think they are pretty similar in a lot of ways. Love hugs and snuggles, need to be exercised regularly, eat a ton of food, and have a penchant for bringing rocks and grass clippings into the house and scattering it in a festive manner as they move about 🙂
YESSSS!!!! Freedom of time means taking all damn day to do something if you feel like it! And also doing nothing if that’s what you feel like doing.
As far as time savings, if someone has the money and would rather sit on the couch than mow their lawn, that’s 100% OK, and I’m toying with the idea of being that someone. Having lunch delivered so that you can work through lunch…I’m sure the person would say that’s what they want and who am I to deny them, but c’mon.
With that said, I can’t imagine ever not being motivated not to take a daily shower. It just doesn’t take that much time and it feels good.
Doggo and I are in for CBWC!
First thing I do when I get out of bed is shower. Apart from good hygiene, it wakes me up and gets me going. The only time I don’t shower daily is if I am too sick and fear passing out in the shower.
Being retired means no more running on someone else’s schedule and I love that. I do like to have a routine – the days we go to the gym, weekly chores etc. but it’s my schedule and if I miss something I can rearrange the week to fit it in rather than feel behind the eight ball.
The one thing that hasn’t changed regardless of how much time I have is I still hate vacuuming LOL!
Whenever I think of the question of how we spend our time, I think of an essay I read by Ursula K. LeGuin in her book No Time to Spare where she writes about the idea of “spare time” and how whenever someone asks what she does with her spare time, she says she doesn’t have spare time because all her time is occupied by living.
I feel like “busy” is such a badge of merit these days, when really, is someone more “busy” because they cram more things in their day than someone else? Does it make someone better? Because I worked, went to the Fed Ex Store and still managed to get my kids to piano lessons on time and then had grilled cheese for dinner – does that make me better than someone who takes a long time to linger over making a healthy dinner? I want to be busy leisurely reading my book. Everyone’s 24 hours is full of choices to do things, you know.
It also reminds me of how people get so freaked out when their kid isn’t reading in kindergarten. What’s the rush? it will click when it clicks. (Usually – I mean if there is real concern, get the kid tested) So what if your kid starts to read a year or two after other kids? What is that? One less year for them to read War and Peace?
I guess the point is there is so much life to live, you can obsess about what you’re not getting done, or you can concentrate on what you are filling your life with, right?
I’ve been having this idea for a while, stop seeking efficiency and productive all the time which used to be my motto. I can see it’s currently the way of living of Sofia. She likes being useful/productive. I try to share my shift, that it’s good to relax and not worrying about making every minute memorable/useful. Even at the productive way, being unproductive means my mind can breath and be more productive later.
Yet, i’m overall valuing more life stye things that makes us health, relaxed, joyful, and loving, than cram in as much as we can.
Funny, I was just telling my parents this weekend I am in no hurry to retire (still at least 10 years away) because I won’t know what to do with myself. But clearly, I have been looking at it all wrong, because time inefficiency sounds right up my alley! You might as well have been writing about me: I cram that one-hour workout into the early morning, before leaving for the office, and I spend hours every weekend doing yard work. Being able to do those things whenever, instead of pigeonholing them into my limited free time, sounds pretty divine!
I’ve been saying for a long time that these modern day ‘conveniences’ end up being time wasters. How many hours have I spent trying to get my landscape lighting app to work properly? When I could just be flicking a switch? I feel this way about most technology. And what, you ask, are people doing with the time they ‘save’ using uber eats? They are on their phones!!!! Doing nothing!!!
I like the way you and your husband think of retirement. I’m hoping my spouse thinks that way. He has a lot of projects he’s saved up, but I hope he doesn’t decide to try to accomplish it all in the first year.
That van is both amusing and terrifying!
Your husband sounds like he has the exact right approach to retirement!
I also really like how you said that baking cupcakes was a wonderful use of your one wild and precious life. I agree! Sometimes my in-laws or my husband will tell me that I don’t need to spend so much time or energy on cooking for them or baking a cake or whatever, but I like doing it! Does it also stress me the eff out? Yes, it does. Lol.
I used to be terrible about removing my makeup every night. Ew. I feel grimy just thinking about it. But I don’t think I ever went more than one night with the same makeup on. Also, when I say makeup, I mean mascara. Maybe eyeliner because most of these incidents took place before 2020.