Hairum Scarum

The thing about moving is that, once a person has moved, there is still so much paperwork to deal with, there are still so many decisions to make, and there is so very much to learn about the new environment. Moving across provinces, I am discovering, means that much time must be spent in a variety of government and other official offices and on their websites, just getting the basics figured out. In the past three weeks, for example, we have spent countless tedious hours just getting all of our driver’s licenses switched, organizing registrations, plates, and insurance for all five vehicles plus the RV, why do we have so many vehicles, why do we have an RV, and switching our health care from Alberta to BC.

It’s quite exhausting and every day I think of something new to add to the running list: I need to get Rex licensed, for example, and I need to find him a vet, having already found him a good groomer and boarder. I don’t think it will be hard to do these things, but all takes time.

Other things I do not have figured out: medical and dental care. I’m not at all worried about finding a dentist, they are everywhere and all seem to be accepting new patients, but there is a massive physician shortage so I feel like I’ll be lucky to get one before I turn 65. Just don’t get sick, I guess. There are plenty of walk-in clinics, if I do get sick, and on the plus side, a friend told me that a doctor referral is not necessary for a mammogram, unlike in Alberta; apparently, I can just simply book one. But then, that’s one more thing added on my massive to-do list, and my dense, lumpy breasts and I are due for one in October. Guess what! It IS October!

Before my husband retired, I used up all his optical benefits to get my eyes examined and new reading glasses. This is something I have been putting off for years, for no good reason. Can I blame it on the pandemic? In any case, finding an optometrist was easy – I looked for the closest one with the highest Yelp rating – and due to the time of year, they were having a back to school sale. I ended up with Dolce and Gabbana reading glasses, and with the sale and the optical coverage, they were very low cost.

I feel fancy!

Speaking of my husband’s retirement, at his party I was chatting with a woman who will be relocating in the next six months or so, to one of four locations, as yet undetermined, but the move will either be cross-country or out of country. She was, naturally, quite anxious about all the logistics involved in such a move and said to me plaintively I just don’t know how I am going to find someone to cut my hair. Girl, I know. I KNOW! I related so much because of all the myriad things I had to deal with upon arrival, finding someone I could trust with my delicate locks was top of the list.

It’s just such an intimate relationship, isn’t it, the one between hair stylist and hair stylee. There is so much trust involved, and then there are personalities that need to be able to mesh, not to mention actual hair styling talent. When I find a stylist I like, I hold onto them like grim death. I very briefly considered going back to Calgary every three or four months to get my hair cut, but that seemed ridiculous even for me, and the logistics involved were stupid.

So began my search for a stylist.

The first part of my search began, interestingly enough, back in July, when I was very new to town. I made a sugaring appointment at a local place; there are a couple of sugaring salons in town and I chose this one purely because their online booking process was easy and one I was familiar with. The first body sugaring place I tried had an incredibly difficult booking process which required the download of an app, and then it was tricky to find the actual place on the app itself, and I ended up deleting it all in frustration and going with the other, slightly less conveniently located option. It probably says something untoward about my character that while I am distressed at the thought of someone new taking scissors to my hair, I have absolutely no problem exposing my unclothed fuzzy vulva to a complete stranger, speaking sugaring code like can we also do the back, and that my choice of person for this service is made merely by their location and ease of booking process.

In any case, in late July I found myself half-naked with a lovely young woman named Kate, chatting about being brand new to town, the stress of moving, and how it was bathing suit season and what kind of cut did I wear? Kate herself had moved here from a small coastal town, and referred to Kelowna as the hustle and bustle of the big city, which made me smile, as I had the opposite experience. When we were finished, she kindly asked if there was any way to help me feel settled, if there was any information she could share with me. I told her that I was looking for a hair stylist, did she have any friends who she could recommend?

She did, saying cheerily to my express concern about needing a stylist who was well-versed in aging, thinning, brittle hair, that, in addition to servicing all her friends, Abi cuts my mom’s hair! Well. I could certainly be Kate’s mom’s age, but the image I had immediately was a no-nonsense style favoured by senior ladies everywhere, and I felt a little disheartened. However, I accepted the contact information, and was a little taken aback to see that it was a) an Instagram handle, and b) that Instagram handle was Abi Gives Good Hair.

And you guys, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pick up the phone to make an appointment with Abi, who Gives Good Hair, partially because of the Instagram handle and partly because I visualized the clientele as being two-pronged: on one hand, the cute young things getting their beachy waves, who were featured on the Instagram feed, and on the other, the moms. This was probably an unfair assessment on my part, but it’s the truth, and so the weeks passed and my ends became more and more frayed.

Finally, feeling desperate, I reached out to my lovely friend Sammi (HI SAMMI) for help. You may be wondering why I did not reach out earlier, since Sammi has been an extraordinary resource in this move, helping me feel welcome, introducing me to people, and also recommending her very excellent nail salon, which is everything I want in a nail salon. The reason is that the woman who cuts Sammi’s hair is known to be a bit brusque and gruff, and I have been feeling a little emotionally fragile, worried that I would be judged for colouring my own hair or for too much heat styling or for having crunchy, uneven ends.

And of course, this ended up being not the case. This woman was truly wonderful, giving me possibly the best haircut I have EVER had in my life, asking me very thoughtful questions about my hair and its history, and not once criticizing or judging my hair choices. I did not find her brusque but did find her extremely efficient, as I was in and out within a half hour, and the moral of the story is that sometimes a person has to take the risk to get the reward.

Weekly Reading

Probably the most exciting development, other than finally getting my hair cut, was that since I have official BC identification in the form of a driver’s license, I was able to obtain a library card! I immediately put a stack of books on hold, and, while I waited, I picked up an old favourite.

Emma. I love this book so much! I so identify with Emma, although now I’m over twice her age. This book is brilliant – romance, hilarity, class introspection…it has it all. It is maybe one of the funniest of Austen’s collection, as the side characters are absolutely hilarious and relatable; don’t we all have a gabby Miss Bates in our lives, or a ridiculous Mrs. Elton, isn’t everyone related to a Mr. Woodhouse, with his anxious hypochondria and his refusal to allow for any other point of view? Such a great book.

The Swimmers. The first of my library books was a winner, albeit an absolutely heartbreaking and incredibly moving winner. This novel is essentially a love letter from a daughter to a mother with dementia. I do not tend to be a crier when I read, but this book made me well up several times.

In other news – what could top a hair cut and a library card, you may wonder? – our dear blog friend Elisabeth is back! Check out her new site, Optimistic Musings of a Pessimist. All of this is a great way to start a fresh new month, and I wish you all a happy first week of October. xo

Comments

  1. I’m glad you’re feeing a little more settled in, with drivers licenses, and library cards and newly cut hair. Nice glasses, too.

  2. Nice wordplay in the title, Nicole!

    I’m so glad settling in continues apace with hair stylist and a library card! (Bare necessities!) And I really need to reread both your books of the week–as you say, they’re very relatable despite being so very different.

    I so feel you on the healthcare frustration. Big A doesn’t have health insurance despite working for the new place for over a month now, AND being in healthcare himself–it’s terrifying given how little of a safety net the U.S. system provides.

    Onward with the new week and the new month; may they prove gentle and fun for all of us <3.

  3. Phew! I’m glad you found your hair stylist! Now you can truly feel settled in. By the way, I know some people who have moved away from South Florida but come back on a regular basis to get their hair cut (and I’m sure they schedule other appointments as well) so it’s not a completely crazy notion- but MUCH better to have someone local.
    Oooh, Emma! I haven’t read it in years- I’m due for a re-read.

  4. Anna Braun says

    I’ve been going to the same hairstylist since I was 17!! I cheated on her once last year (with my sister’s hairstylist)but went back and apologized and she lovingly took me back. 😃It was too long of a relationship not too. I can’t imagine finding a new one in a new city, let alone setting up all the other things. Congratulations on your new library membership!! It was what I was most worried about for you in this move. 📚

  5. Hi Nicole
    You are the only other person I know who has read the Swimmers. It was one of those books that I just picked up I thought it was so lovely.
    I have a friend who belongs to a group in Kelowna called the November Project. It is a very welcoming fitness group that works out on the main beach early in the morning. I think they are quite social as well. Maybe you would enjoy the group…..

  6. Love the glasses! (And the Rex cameo.) Finding a new hair stylist is so stressful, and I am SO glad you found one that you like so much! Woo hoo!

  7. Yay for fancy glasses. Don’t you look wonderful in that reading nook with Rex by your side.

    Okay – I need you to e-mail me more details about sugaring. How does it compare to waxing (I’ve had some traumatizing experiences)? How long does it last etc?

    YOU GOT YOUR LIBRARY CARD. This may be the happiest news I’ve heard all day.

    I read The Swimmers. I enjoyed it, but got hung up on some of the literary devices used over and over. But it was beautiful and I can see why it is getting a bit of a “cult following.” You may also remember my ridiculous quibble about there being an Alice with dementia. By my count this is at least the THIRD Alice with dementia in amnesia/dementia books and I think authors need to start giving poor Alice a break on the memory loss – haha.

    Thanks for the shout-out. It’s so good to be back in blog land <3

    • Lol, I did think of Still Alice! Both books are beautiful and absolutely terrifying. I still get choked up thinking of the ending of Still Alice. Ahhhhhhh.
      Okay, re: waxing and sugaring. Let’s just remember that I’ve been doing this for 28 years so I may be deadened to it all BUT sugaring is a less-painful (IMO) alternative. Also, not to be gross, but much less ingrown hair issues because the sugaring takes the hair out in the direction in which the hair grows, but waxing goes the opposite. I think it lasts a good solid month with no growth, then a couple more weeks with a bit of growth. I usually get it done every couple of months, and more often in the summer when I’m in a bathing suit more. Now, the thing with sugaring, at least in my experience, is that there is no underwear involved. I mean, I guess you could. But it seems like, unlike with waxing, the preference is no underwear. So it depends how you feel about such things and maybe that differs from person to person. I can’t speak for every sugaring place, but that’s been my experience.

  8. Off to google what sugaring is! You look so cute in the new glasses 🙂

  9. Again, I feel this. To my core.
    I love my hairstylist so much and if I moved, I would probably consider going back too.
    I’m so glad you found someone.

    Those glasses are so cute. You reminded me that I need to make an appointment. 🖤

  10. Michelle Goggins - MG Doodle Studio says

    I love your glasses and your hair cut! So cute! My favorite hair stylist moved away several years ago, and I tried several new ones with no luck. After several REALLY BAD haircuts, I gave up and I’ve been cutting it myself!
    I can’t imagine how much paperwork is involved with moving. But it’s all worth it because now you have a library card! Yay!

    • You’re cutting your own hair! You and Gigi! I am so impressed with you both! I don’t think I have enough hand-eye coordination for that (although, I should not be surprised, you’re so gifted with your hands! I bet it looks great.)
      I was with a stylist for 19 years and then, inexplicably, she cut layers in my hair that I had been growing out for two years, and coloured it super dark. What? Not sure how that happened but I never went back, after 19 years of loyalty.

  11. Yes, the moving to do list never ends, even after you’ve moved. But you’ve gotten further along.

    I don’t think I need reading glasses yet??? At least that’s my story. I should probably get around to scheduling my annual eye doc appointment. There’s no reason why I haven’t done it yet, since I don’t have the excuse of having just moved. Oh well.

    • I think I needed reading glasses when I turned 44 or 45? It’s all a blur. No, it must have been earlier since I had them pre-pandemic. Anyway, they really help a lot and now I wear them for computer work as well.

  12. I have now followed my stylist to three different locations. I will, undoubtedly, follow her to the death. It took me YEARS to find her when I first moved to this state and it is wonderful because she is younger than me, so I will die before she does and I’ll never have to find another stylist ever again, RIGHT?

    The Swimmers. Such a lovely book. The writing was dazzling.

    • LOLOLOLOL ENGIE!!!! “I will die before she does” – this is 100% goals for me. This new stylist probably has 15 years on me so that does not bode well. Hopefully she won’t retire any time soon!

  13. Wendy Allan-Pennings says

    Nicole, I am new to you and your kind, witty humorous look on life. Feeling blessed! Since we moved the same day, I feel you are leaps and bounds ahead of me. Even with all your necessary transitions to a new province. Yuck!!

    You’re looking absolutely fabulous and I love your tales of events. Maybe it’s time for me to get a library card from Kelowna too. I’ll have to ditch mine from the Coast. Might have to mean that I’m staying here lol

    • Love the glasses. Rex looks enormous in that picture. Years ago, I bopped around between hair dressers. Once I found a guy who cut my hair in such a cute way, but when I returned he did something different and I was very disappointed. Plus I looked like a boy, which gave me PTSD from my childhood. I love my current lady who specializes in curly hair. I discovered her for Curly, but she is so knowledgeable and gifted. She does a great job with my very thin, once curly-ier hair.

      I laughed at the difference between making the sugaring appointment and the hair appointment. Too funny.

      The thought of moving and figuring out all of the paperwork is overwhelming to me. Also, you have different rules on healtchare between various provinces? That is so interesting to me.

      • ERNIE I totally get the PTSD thing. I had a bowl cut when I was little, and I think I never got over it. THEN I cut my hair like Madonna’s in Papa Don’t Preach, and if you look it up, you can see what a mistake that was. IT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.
        We don’t have different rules on healthcare, but if you are in a different province your care is covered by that province. So while the coverage overall is the same throughout the country, you have to be registered in your province. IT IS A GIANT PAIN TO SWITCH! But, it will get done.

    • Yay, Wendy, I’m glad you’re here! Thanks so much! You should totally get a library card although, if I’m being honest, I still am registered with the Calgary system on my Kobo (the CPL has a lot more selection!)

  14. When we moved here 20+ years ago there was a primary care physician shortage. I understand your problem. It made me anxious to not have a doctor. We eventually found [were assigned to] a practice that would take us, but it was awful. Dirty offices, irresponsible doctors, impossible parking. However, I kept asking everyone I met who their doctor was and I finally found a good practice. Still it seems defeating that you have to struggle to find a good doctor.

    • Yes, it’s going to be an uphill battle for sure. I am a bit more concerned for my husband who has a number of prescriptions and health things – hopefully we can get that figured out (although it’s overwhelming right now).

  15. Sandra Bell - Sammi says

    Nicole, I absolutely love these weekly updates. Glasses are amazing. Hi Rex. So happy you enjoyed your experience with my hairdresser. Can’t wait to see you Friday. If you have any other questions please do not hesitate to ask.:)

  16. When I first moved to Minneapolis, I would drive back to Fargo, ND (about 4 hours) to get my hair cut. I did that for years. Then I tried a few different people before finding my hair gal whom I adore. I’ve been seeing her for I think 15 years? So we’ve both been through a lot – we both got married and had kids in this time frame.

    Ugh, relocating is really hard. I was relo’d to Charlotte in 2013. I found out in January and had 2 weeks to decide (would have been laid off otherwise) and then 2 months to move. And I was studying for the CFA. I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE TO CHARLOTTE so I changed as little as possible. Like I kept my Minnesota license and license plates which wasn’t really legal but worked out in the end.

    The physician shortage is brutal, especially in less populated areas. My friend who lives up in Fort St. John has the hardest time getting into a doctor! I, for the most part, don’t have too hard of a time although it has become really really hard to get in with my rheumtologist. I now see her PA which seems to do the trick and I can always message my doctor if need be. I schedule the boys’ well child appointments super far out and just see whoever we can see when they are sick and urgently need to see someone. There just seems to be a shortage of people PERIOD. I’ve had flights delays due to not having a pilot or a flight attendant and I’ve been reading about the huge teacher shortage in our school district.

    • Ugh, it feels like it’s so hard to get professionals. I really liked my doctor in Calgary; he was so proactive and compassionate.
      I’m glad I’m not the only person who has considered going back to the old place to get a hair cut – I am impressed you did an eight hour round trip!
      I know we aren’t moving back but WHOA there is so much crap to do with the vehicles! SO MUCH!

  17. I FINALLY had an eye exam – and yes, I blame it squarely on the pandemic – and received my new glasses today. Who knew my old prescription was SO out of date. I can SEE now! Love your new glasses; they are fancy!

    I still haven’t found a new hairstylist (my most recent one quit during the pandemic; my very favorite one moved to Florida years ago). To date, it hasn’t been a huge issue as I’m not afraid to trim my hair (what can I say, curls hide a LOT of mistakes); but I’m wanting a big chop after the wedding, so I guess I need to start looking again.

    • I am not brave enough to cut my own hair – how do you get the back? I’m very intrigued.
      I just discovered my old prescription was from 2018!

      • If I wore it straight at all anymore, I wouldn’t dare cut it. During the pandemic, I found someone on Instagram (with curly hair) who is a stylist and she shared a couple of ways to cut it yourself. Occasionally, I’ll find a random strand that’s longer than the rest (usually in the back) and I just kind of snip at it until it looks about right.

        Odds are good that is about how old my prescription was too. No wonder I couldn’t see and felt off kilter half the time!

  18. My hair stylist moved three hours away in April and I’m a mess (emotionally and hairwise). I tried someone close to my location and it was a disaster – she dry cut my hair (my hair is not at all curly so there is no need for that) and was 45 minutes late to the appointment. I haven’t gone back and it shows. Now I need to try again and am dreading it. WHY did my hair stylist move? WHHHHHHYYYYY. Sob.

    I also love Emma, I have read it 1M times and as with P&P will read or watch any version of it. Just a really solid novel. I’m sure The Swimmers is well written and lovely but I don’t think I can read it. Will save a note for a time when I need a really good cry.

    • Why must hair stylists move? Why?
      Emma and P&P are so good. They are just so clever and witty! I just adore all of the little conversations and asides. The Swimmers is SO sad, I really am not a crier and I was welling up constantly.

  19. Finding a new hair stylist can be SO stressful!  For years I went to a beauty school to get my hair done, because it was SO much cheaper than a regular salon.  I had lost my job in 2009 and couldn’t justify the expense, especially since I color my hair.  When I went back to work, even though I was making a LITTLE bit more money, I was hooked on the less expensive alternative.  Fast forward to 2017, and I finally had a better job with better pay, and the beauty school had gone down in quality, and then my father died and I had to find someone to do my hair quickly, so I could go to his funeral, where I was going to have to get up in front of a couple of hundred people.  Scary!  Luckily I found someone who did an amazing job, and I have never looked back.  Yes, it’s more expensive.  A lot.  But it takes about 1/4 of the time, and my results are consistent.  I save money by only getting it done every 3 months or so.  In between I use a home root touch up, which works OK.  I tried coloring it myself, but my hair pulls too orange and I end up looking like 1970s David Bowie (and not in a good way).

    All of that to say, I FEEL YOU, and I’m so glad you found someone you can trust and so on.  It’s huge.  Also, my dense lumpy breasts are about due for a mammogram too.  Blah.

    Also, YAY for library cards!

    • Well your hair always looks great! So you have definitely hit on the solution. I do colour my own hair but I think blonde is a trickier colour to do at home than red. When I started doing it myself I was so shocked at how much money I saved!

  20. I feel you, girl! I’m swimming in paperwork with my mom’s move. And in the midst, I got the dreaded letter that my primary care physician (since 2006) was leaving. I have been shocked how few female primary care doctors are out there currently. What is happening with this shortage?

    It’s hard finding new providers, esp. a hair stylist. I’m glad you found someone who you liked, but I’m shocked that it only took 30 minutes for a haircut! Mine is always an hour.
    Yeah for the long awaited library card! A necessity!

    • Bijoux, my haircuts usually take longer so I was really pleasantly surprised. She was so efficient!
      I am sad for you that your physician is retiring. The shortage is frankly a bit scary!

  21. I am so glad that you got a library card! I would die without one and in fact, (fun fact) I was cleaning out a drawer the other day and I found my cards from four places I had lived from 2004-2011. Interstingly, although I am from CA, these places were in FL, LA, MO and IA and all of them let me have a library card! I cannot remember what they required, but it was not a drivers license with a local address. I also had four different cards during the pandemic and it was so helpful, as I was getting ebooks and was of course doing a lot of reading. I had to create a spreadsheet to remember what books I had on hold at one point. I also have a card from my parent’s local library.

    Ug, the search for a hairdresser is not fun. I had a great stylist when I lived in San Francisco. So great that once I went to someone else and I lied to her and told her I cut my own hair because I felt that I was cheating on her. However, I then started traveling a lot and at first I did time my hair appointments for when I was back, but then I started being away longer and longer and it just wasn’t feasible anymore… fast forward 20 years, and I now just cut my own hair or go to the beauty college and I let my hair grow long so I don’t have to go very often. So I guess now my hair journey has reached the equivalent of a single lady who gave up on dating and now just eats popcorn for dinner. Oh wait, I AM that too! 🙂 I am glad you found someone that you like!

    • Hahahaha Kyria! That made me laugh. Long hair definitely hides a lot – you can go a long while without really needing it.
      I’m so jealous at the loosey-goosey library systems! I seem to have landed on the strictest one! A friend was saying she couldn’t even get a library card here because her address was just outside the city limits.

  22. bibliomama2 says

    I have a weird relationship with my stylist hair-wise – generally I love what she does and then every fourth or fifth haircut I’m like what the hell, Tina? I shudder at the thought of having to find someone else, though. I do trim my own hair also (like Gigi, curls hide a lot, and as for the back, well, I don’t have to see the back, do I?) I’m so happy the hair and the library card are nailed down.

    • I’m so impressed you can trim your own hair! My pet peeve with every other stylist but this one is that they would always straighten my hair super sleek and flat after every cut, and it does not flatter me at all.

  23. Oh, this post is so full of good stuff, Nicole! Freshly-picked grapes from your backyard — that would make me so happy!!! New glasses (which look awesome, btw), new hair stylist (your hair looks great — makes me want to try Nutrafol myself!) and new library card! Oh, and a newly-retired husband!

    Which reminds me…so what does he have planned to do in retirement? I’m only being nosy because I just retired myself a little over a month ago. We have done a couple of trips but nothing big/major this year — because I told my husband I just want to be home and enjoy my free-to-do-what-I-want-all-day for a bit. Bigger trips next year!

    • Hi M! Thank you!
      We are also planning trips but nothing really until next year – just getting settled in around here. My husband has a lot of hobbies and interests and I’m sure will keep busy (he’s been busy the last few weeks just dealing with car stuff! You need to be retired to get all this done!)

  24. Holy shit! I feel like I took 6 months off from reading blogs (although in retrospect it must have been longer) and you moved? Away from Calgary?

    I am shook. But glad to hear you’re settling in :). Time to catch up on the archives!

  25. I can’t imagine all the moving parts when you become a member of a totally different area. *sigh* Sounds like you are getting through it well though. 
    Yay for a great haircut! It’s such a challenge when you have to start with a new person.
    I love your new glasses!! You’re So Chic! 

  26. I’m glad you found a hair stylist that you love! I started going to my current stylist a few years ago after my previous one moved out of state. She’s wonderful and I’ve never had a bad experience with her, which I’m grateful for. My issue with hair stylist is the CHIT CHAT. My friends and I joke we want to start an introvert’s hair salon where you can sit in silence if you want to. Having to constantly keep a stream of chit-chat going is so exhausting to me. (I imagine this is not something you struggle with, ha.)

    Hooray for a library card! I’m so glad you finally got one.

    • Oh yes, I don’t mind chit chat at all! You would probably love my new stylist, there is NO NONSENSE NO CHIT CHAT. Which is fine, I can just chit chat with, I don’t know, the person behind me at the grocery store!

  27. Oh yes, moving is exhausting with all the address changes and such, let alone finding all new providers if you moved out of the area. I am glad you’re tackling it one day at a time. Your reading glasses look great on you – yes, fancy! – I am glad it was easy to find an optometrist. I am also so, so happy you found a fantastic new hair stylist on the ‘first try’…. wow. That’s lucky. I haven’t been to a hairstylist in years (blame it on the pandemic!) and I am scared to go, although I’d love a professional cut again sometime (and maybe even color, although I am trying to decide if I want the upkeep).

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