Monthly Archives: September 2014

Royal Baby Watch Outweighs Snow In September

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It isn’t every morning you wake up to find out that you are on Royal Baby Watch! I love happy news, and a new baby – especially a sibling for the Prince of Cuteness – is wonderfully happy. The only thing that makes me a little misty is that last time I was on Royal Baby Watch, I was on Royal Baby Watch with my grandma. Grandma and I would have very involved, serious chats about pregnancy, maternity clothing, boys versus girls and how one carries them, and, after the birth, the question of the Royal Baby Name. I was strongly on Team George but Grandma thought Charles might be the name, and when the name was revealed I practically broke my leg running to the phone to call her. “GUESS WHAT GRANDMA IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE.”

It also isn’t every morning that you wake up to see this:

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It begins…

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Does white go with purple?

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The plants are not happy.

 

September 8 is a wee bit early for snow, even for Calgary, so the entire city is ensconced in a mixture of gloom and also that special kind of martyrdom that comes with snow in September. Sure, things might be bad where you are, but WE HAVE SNOW ON THE GROUND ON SEPTEMBER 8. Well, at least it gives us something to talk about. Remember when you were a bratty teenager and you couldn’t imagine why people would spend their precious time talking about something as pedestrian as the weather? It’s so boring, GOD, MOTHER, why do people always TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER. Complete with eye-rolling, I did pose this question to my long-suffering mother, once upon a time, who gently informed me that people discuss such topics because they affect us all, and sometimes talking about dull and trivial things – without eye-rolling – shows that you can behave in a socially-acceptable manner. Not every conversation has to be ground-breaking and/or profound.

Yesterday I took Barkley for what should have been a fifteen minute walk, which turned into a forty-five minute one due to three separate non-ground-breaking-nor-profound conversations with my neighbours. In addition to the weather we also talked about different dog breeds, Barkley’s excellent behaviour around children and his ability to be a guard dog, the fleeting nature of time, the public parking situation on our street, tomato plants, and how Barkley and the neighbour’s cats really are friends, deep down inside. This latter topic was met with some opposition by me, and possibly by Barkley, who was rearing up on his hind legs and lunging at said cat, who was temptingly dangled over him in my neighbour’s arms. I need offer no further comment, I think, except that possibly some people spend too much time thinking that Barkley is actually a stuffed animal, rather than a bloodthirsty hound in a fluffy and cute disguise.

On that topic, the walk was also a bit longer than necessary because I had to scold and coax poor Barkley, who found a) a dead bird on our front sidewalk, who had possibly knocked himself dead on the front window and who looked, to Barkley, like the most appetizing of snacks, and b) a dead squirrel who appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the sidewalk, but was, in fact, dead. Barkley seemed to think that this squirrel would be a more substantial but still very appetizing snack, and since I was so mean about the bird, he thought he should have it. It took some leash-pulling and coaxing to make our way around it. The cause of death was not obvious, but it isn’t every day you see a non-squashed squirrel just lying in the middle of the sidewalk. See what happens when you leave the nut tree, Scaredy Squirrel? BAD THINGS. Snow in September!

Roh-roh. That’s not a Scooby Snack.

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Yesterday I heard a story on the radio about a Great Dane who had gotten very sick. The owners thought that he had eaten something strange, and so took him to the vet, who performed exploratory surgery. The vet found in the dog’s stomach 43 socks. Happily, the dog is on the mend and is expected to make a full recovery, although one would hope that the owners will find a way to lock up the dirty laundry.

This image stayed with me all day, the image of a Scooby-Doo-like Great Dane furtively sneaking into the laundry bin and munching down every sock he could find. It was sort of like when Homer Simpson was caught on tape eating tulips. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Although, when I told Jake, he was not amused. “Who has 43 socks lying around?” he demanded. “Why did they keep buying new socks?” He has a point. One would think one would notice 43 missing socks, although who knows how long it took to eat so many. Or perhaps they had a very large family with lots of stray socks, but in any case Jake’s question did add a new angle to it. And a little child shall teach us.

Speaking of the little children, yesterday Mark applied to be a school patroller, and if that wasn’t “sunrise, sunset” enough, today Jake got his first phone call from a girl. So it begins!

Also beginning: the countdown to Christmas, apparently. I picked up my copy of the Sears Wish Book and I cannot wait to open it. I’ve been saving it for just the right moment, which I suspect is coming very soon, given that it’s Friday and I have a glass of wine in my hand. Expect many Sears Wish Book posts to come, dear reader.

One might think that I’m a little premature with the countdown to Christmas, but I might as well resign myself to the fact that winter is coming because next week’s forecast calls for snow. Snow! I thought I could hold off another week without buying Mark winter boots – his old ones fit Jake – but no, that cannot be. Today I took the boys to get boots, and I discovered that Mark is now in the last possible children’s size. Next year, it will be MEN’s boots. I will be shopping in the men’s section for him. I need offer no further comment.

Thank you to all who played along with my book game. I haven’t done a giveaway in a while so I decided to draw not one, not two, but three names: StephLove, smothermother, and Valerie Dunsmore – you are all winners! Your prizes will be sent to you as soon as possible (but probably not until later next week).

Happy Friday everyone! I’m throwing a baby shower tomorrow – a baby is in my circle! – and so I’ll be doing lots of baby snuggling and eating, which is a pretty nice way to spend a Saturday, don’t you think? xo

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon.

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Yesterday I was so melancholy; the summer was just so full of fun and sunshine and it felt, yesterday, like a plug had been pulled. Suddenly, it’s fall. Suddenly, it’s back to school. Suddenly, my children are all grown up with gangly limbs and giant teeth and floppy clown feet.

Of course, none of this was sudden at all. There’s been a slight chill in the air for the last ten days, the kids have had gangly limbs, giant teeth, and floppy clown feet for a while now, and as for back to school, well, it’s not like I didn’t know it was coming. Fortunately getting back into routine is exactly like riding a bike; we have all adjusted exactly as if summer never happened. The only one in our family who hasn’t adjusted is the dog, who is moping weirdly around the house and then flopping sadly on the floor. Or maybe I’m projecting here.

It’s gloomy and drizzly, and so I decided to work on a savoury new pasta sauce. I turned on the radio to eliminate the creepy silence in the house, and as the warm smells of garlic and mushrooms filled the kitchen, Landslide came on the radio. LANDSLIDE. On the first day of school, as I live and breathe. Maybe the radio programmers have a maudlin sense of humour, because right after that was Talking In Your Sleep by Gordon Lightfoot, and really, what could be more melancholy than that combination? At least it wasn’t Cat’s in the Cradle, I guess.

This past weekend we attended another wedding, and a few days prior to that I took the kids up to stay at my parents’ place at the lake. Rarely do I do a solo road trip with the kids; I don’t like highway driving as a rule, and the QEII is a crazy speedway at the best of times. I headed out Thursday around lunchtime, and the light drizzle quickly turned into pouring rain. Two hours of driving in pouring rain with almost no visibility pretty much did me in. By the time I arrived at my parents’ place – at which the sun was shining and there was no rain whatsoever – my hands hurt from white-knuckling the steering wheel and I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. The kids, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to my plight, having donned their headphones to watch a movie in the back. I felt somewhat virtuous for shielding them from my driving angst, so immediately accepted a nice vodka cooler and a seat on the porch. I had to make the return trip all by myself a few days later – having left the kids with Grandma – and happily, it was completely uneventful.

So ends the summer, I guess. The first morning of Grade Four and Five seemed to go off without a hitch; everyone is happy with their teachers and their classes, so hopefully it’s a good omen for the year to come!

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The first time ever they have “dressed up” for school.

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Who’s excited? THIS GUY. Also the other guy.