Category Archives: Flower Power

Fight the (flower) power

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Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a non-volatile climate. What would it be like to know that spring and summer weather would stretch out, consistently, day after day? I suspect it would change my behaviour significantly. The past week we have had absolutely gorgeous, SUMMER temperatures, complete with sunshine and warm evenings, and all I can think of is this won’t last, carpe diem, CARPE DIEM. I have been spending every spare minute outside doing yard work and gardening and feeling somewhat resentful at having to come inside. The thing about Calgary is that this could end at any second; we could have snow any time now, enjoy this while it lasts!

The warm weather has made my garden suddenly explode with greenery; after this terrible winter it feels like a gift. My Mayday is apparently the Ferrari of trees, going from barely-there leaf buds to being in full bloom in less than 48 hours, a beautiful gift that is filling the yard with glorious scent.

Speaking of gifts, I hope your Mother’s Day was restful and lovely. Very early on Mother’s Day morning, my husband and I walked over to the Co-Op to buy hamburger buns for dinner, and there was a man with a baby in a bucket seat and a very small toddler, looking at the giant display of flowers and cupcakes set out for those last-minute shoppers. The toddler was very cute, suggesting the flowers that were PINK, DADDY, DESE FLOWERS ARE PINK AND PWETTY AND MOMMY WOULD YIKE THEM, AND SHE YIKES CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES THAT ARE PINK, DADDY. I smiled because it was very obvious that, in addition to the flowers and cupcakes, there was a mom at home who was receiving the gift of “sleeping in.” Throughout the day I continued to see men with small children walking around the neighbourhood and to the playground, giving Mom the gift of Time To Herself. Having been the grateful recipient of such gifts in the past, I felt a lot of joy for those women.

I have just finished reading Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and I don’t think that I am exaggerating when I say it completely blew my mind. If you haven’t read it, it discusses women’s health issues in a very holistic way, but the author is also an OB-GYN and so it isn’t total hippie-dippie hoo-ha. More “complementary and preventative” than “alternative,” if you know what I’m saying. There is a great deal of discussion about honouring yourself and your body, treating your menstrual cycle in a sacred way – think “Red Tent” rather than “the curse” – and really acknowledging your feelings and moving on with your life, in order to achieve health and wellness. For example, instead of pushing through exhaustion and monthly stabbiness, acknowledge that you need time to rest and reflect; PMS symptoms are your body’s way of telling you to please slow down. Today’s patriarchal society rewards a stiff upper lip and being productive at all costs, but fight the patriarchy and rest when you need to!

And although I’m all about honouring my cycle and self-care – my whole life is one big self-care event these days, it seems – I am also a total hypocrite. I have been fighting a case of the sniffles since Monday and if you think I’ve slowed down, well, I haven’t. See above, re: warm and sunny weather. Yesterday I felt poorly enough to lie down for a few minutes, thinking I would have a nap. After lying in bed for five minutes I became too excited thinking about all my new plants I had purchased at the garden centre and so instead got up and planted twenty-five of them. Yes, twenty-five. In my defense, I knew that today would be rainy and I wanted to let them settle in with some good precipitation.

Maybe I should skip my cardio workout today, I said to my husband this morning while stanching the bleeding from my nose due to blowing it every five minutes or so. He looked at me silently for a moment, and then said You THINK? I guess that was my stab at Slowing Down and Resting. I am trying to treat myself in the same way I would treat a friend, with compassion, and yet I can’t help but think it’s just the sniffles, I think I can go on. Meanwhile I’m looking down the barrel of the neti pot and wondering what, exactly, constitutes an overdose of Advil Cold and Sinus.

Ah, but we are mere hours away from a glorious long weekend, two days away from a royal wedding, and there is sunshine in the forecast. Carpe diem, people, and also pass the Vitamin C.

Let’s do the time warp again.

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A long time ago, a gas station within walking distance to my house was demolished. That demolition represented many hours worth of entertainment for my children; we would walk over there and watch as the large machinery tore down the buildings and removed the pumps. Then we watched, along with the elderly men of the neighbourhood, as they dug up presumably-contaminated soil, adding in truckloads of fresh soil, and smoothing everything down. At the time we also had the entire collection of Mighty Machines on DVD, and the boys would watch them whenever I needed time to shower, or prepare dinner, or otherwise needed thirty minutes of downtime. We had one that featured “The Demolition Site,” and inspired by this and the actual demolition site in our neighbourhood, the boys would play that game for hours. They would pile all their toys into the middle of a room and then use their toy bulldozers to push various items around. This, along with the requisite clean-up, would take up whole afternoons.

It’s funny to think that when they were little it was all about slowly killing the day; thinking of things to do that would keep them occupied. The days were so long back then, and now they fly by and there’s never enough time.

All of which is to say that there are only a few days left of school, and in the case of my junior high student, each of those days is a half day only. In some ways I wish they would just compress them all and finish earlier, but no.

On the other hand, while the grade seven students are doing ridiculous, make-work projects just to kill the day – even these half days must seem long to the teaching staff – the grade six students are writing Provincial Achievement Tests this week. So my house has been a strange combination of inappropriate stress over these so-called “fun end-of-term projects” – Mom, I need 150 pieces of coloured paper to glue together for Humanities, and do we have any Styrofoam, bendable straws, and aluminum foil? – and appropriate stress over the tests that prove their competence over the last year of elementary school. I will be breathing a sigh of relief next week, I can tell you that much.

In between teaching, grocery shopping, and busily preparing end-of-year cookies and teacher gifts, I’ve been spending time in my garden. I noticed the very first rose blooming just a couple of days ago; now the entire fence is abloom. Is abloom a word? I hope so.

My columbines have been seeding everywhere, and I know that technically if a plant is growing where you did not plant it, that makes it a weed, but in my books it just makes it a floral miracle.

The gardening season in Calgary is short and intense, so I am trying my best to savour it all.

Have a beautiful weekend, everyone! xo

 

Who’s a good doggy?

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Yesterday I was in my front yard, happily watering my gardens, when my across-the-street pulled up. I chatted with him for a few moments about the gorgeous, sunny weather and his beautifully blooming double-flowering ornamental plum tree. As he turned to go, he stopped. He had forgotten to mention, he said, that there was a coyote hanging out in our front lawn the other evening, right underneath our Mayday tree. Just thought I’d let you know! Maybe keep an eye out! he said as I stood there, stunned. There have been a lot of coyote problems lately in the city and in some of the natural, off-leash parks, but not really on my street.

Haven’t you noticed the rabbit population has gone way down lately? he asked cheerfully and, now that he mentioned it, I HAVE noticed it. Normally when I would drive to yoga at five in the morning, a number of wild rabbits would run out of the way of my car and into the small green space behind my house. Now that I think about it, that hasn’t happened in over a week.

Gah.

I’m pretty sure a lone coyote wouldn’t hop our fence to eat fat, fluffy Barkley, especially when there are any number of rabbits and, sadly and regrettably, outdoor cats around. But still. One never knows. In any case, Barkley tends to be in bed for the night around eight pm, and so he is PROBABLY fine. I looked around carefully before going outside this morning though.

Speaking of Mr Fuzzy, it’s his ninth birthday today! To his great excitement and confusion, we sang Happy Birthday to him this morning and then gave him some freeze-dried chicken, one of his favourite treats. Well, pretty much any food is his favourite treat, but I think he likes this best of all.

Who’s a good doggy? YOU’RE A GOOD DOGGY.

I’m feeling a little emotional about him being NINE, because that means a) he is heading into his Golden Years, so to speak, and b) my children have grown up with him. I always say that I could never have another dog, because Barkley is so perfect, to which my husband always responds “Never say never!” accompanied by an incredibly cute puppy picture.

Anyway. Let’s just all enjoy the time we have with our wonderful pets and NOT THINK FOR A MOMENT ABOUT THE INEVITABLE.

As mentioned earlier, we have been having absolutely beautiful weather, save for a giant wind/ rain/ and snowstorm last Wednesday. I was teaching a restorative yoga class and during breaks in the calm music, there would be the wild howl of the wind and the whipping of rain onto the windows; it was both calming to be in the warm, lovely studio, and agitating to hear the gusts. But that day seemed to be a blip, and the weekend was incredibly warm and perfect for gardening, which is what we did.

My husband, after I described to him the addition that I thought we needed to one of the front gardens, encouraged me to go out and buy plants on Saturday, and then after he trimmed the spirea in the back, he encouraged me to go out again on Sunday. Needless to say I jumped at the (unneeded) encouragement and the weekend was spent very happily digging up lawn to make room for more plants. I also finished digging out all the useless, disappointing tulip bulbs and wondered if the coyote population would perhaps help out with the squirrel population. Is that wrong? If it’s wrong, frankly, my plants and I don’t want to be right. What? It’s the Circle of Life.

Coming to terms with the tulips.

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Today, my normally-vigorous morning yoga practice consisted of the following: four sun salutations, a few restorative poses, and a very long savasana in which I fell asleep. I don’t know what was going on with my body this morning but I listened to it, and that is what it said to do. Who am I to argue? I always feel great after my yoga practice and today was no exception, but I obviously felt more rested than normal.

My husband reminded me that I always feel a bit overwhelmed at this time of year, and he’s right. Part of it is my innate desire to DO EVERYTHING, but at this time of year I need to add to that my innate desire to DO ALL THE GARDENING. Alas, there are only so many hours in a day. I am itching to plant things today but there is snow in tomorrow’s forecast, alas, alas, and also I have actual work to do that does not involve the flower beds.

I currently have fifty – soon to be increased to sixty-six – annuals on my deck to be planted, and I suppose my husband was correct in saying that I used the spring plant fundraiser as an excuse to buy an excessive amount of flowers, but how could I resist? I’m giving the grass the side-eye, and in the meantime, this weekend my husband and I actually did dig up a bunch of tulips to make room for new daylilies.

The flowers awaiting planting, plus a bonus shot of my husband’s many barbeques.

The tulip thing is a real drag, and I am trying not to covet my neighbours’ bulbs, but a jaunt around the neighbourhood shows nothing but gorgeous, blooming, colourful tulips with healthy, uneaten foliage. Here are what some of the remaining tulips look like:

Missing from the photo are all the holes where the squirrels have dug up the rest of the bulbs. My friend (HI NICOLE) suggested cayenne pepper, but I have heard that squirrels can transfer the pepper from the paws to the eyes and end up clawing their own eyes out. Whether or not that is true, I don’t want to chance being responsible for a scurry of eyeless squirrels. I am pretty sure the sightless squirrels would haunt me, and I don’t want that kind of bad karma.

I also would worry about Barkley getting into the cayenne, and though you would think such a smart dog (Labradoodles being one of the brightest, most trainable dogs, and that is not just me saying that, it’s fact) would avoid cayenne pepper, as he begins to gracefully enter his senior years, he has been doing a few strange things. One of those things is eating the broadleaf weeds that poke through my neighbour’s fence and on the one hand, less weeds, but on the other, regurgitated weeds on the lawn. So I just don’t want to tempt fate and end up with a spicy pup.

But I am practicing non-attachment and will likely dig out the remainder of the tulips, and the next time I find myself in Costco tempted to purchase one hundred and thirty bulbs – which is how I found myself in this mess in the first place – will one of you remind me of the repeated catastrophe that is my yard and tulips? Please?

In the meantime everything else is coming along nicely – with the exception of my clematis, which is either late or dead, I’m not sure which. I’m HOPING it’s just late because last year it was a riot of purple, but we shall see.

So I will no longer fret over the tulips. I have bigger fish to fry! Like proving my husband wrong, in that there IS room for sixty-six more annuals in our perennial-heavy, kind of crowded flower beds.

Note to self: start digging out the lawn NOW.

Swimming in a sea of flowers.

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I just finished taking care of a fundraiser for next fall’s Grade Eight Quebec trip. Is my thirteen-year-old really going across the country without me for a week, with no contact whatsoever? Yes, he is. No phones are allowed and so I will not even have TEXTS from him. It’s like we are back in the Nineties! What’s next? Overalls and flannel? Oh, wait.

 

Images from Forever 21.

Deep breathing.

Small digression: it’s funny how the least-flattering clothing can come back into style, like we have learned nothing from the past. History is doomed to repeat itself, etcetera. The other day my husband was watching Jimmy Fallon and Giselle Bundchen was the guest, wearing very high waisted cropped pleated pants with a tucked in blouse and high heels, and even SHE didn’t look great in it. People, if Giselle doesn’t look good in an outfit, it should NOT be in mainstream fashion, because what chance do the rest of us have? But saying that, I remember clearly – from my own high school trip to Europe – wearing a very similar outfit, minus the heels. HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.

Anyway, back to the fundraiser. It involved selling (and in my case, buying copiously) spring plants, and thank you so much to all my beautiful friends who supported it. This is, I kid you not, the first time ever I had a fundraiser in which I had to ask my friends to buy something from me. How did I make it this long without having to sell chocolates or raffle tickets or what have you? I don’t know. I do know that I was relieved to be actually selling things that people (and myself) actually wanted and could use.

I went to pick up the plants to deliver them all around the city on Wednesday, and was distressed to hear that there was an issue with the fundraising company, in that the petunias and geraniums did not arrive. I had six flats of petunias and geraniums on order, but have been assured that they will arrive on Monday.

I was quite put out at the thought of having to come back for the missing plants but in retrospect, it was quite fortuitous that they were late. As it was, my friend who was helping me take the plants to the car looked at me and asked if I was sure I was going to be able to fit them all in. My minivan was full, absolutely full, with planters and flats of vegetables and herbs. I had every square inch covered with plants, including the seats. Had the other flowers arrived, I would have had to, I don’t know, make a second trip. Quelle disaster!

So begins gardening season. My tulips might be a raggedy hot mess, but everything else is popping out of the ground, filling me with that beautiful feeling of springtime hope. Every few hours I am sending my husband all-caps texts such as THE HOSTAS ARE UP and I THINK THE CLEMATIS IS STARTING and THE MAYDAY IS IN BLOOM. The Mayday has gone from leafing out to being in full bloom within the span of a week, god help those with seasonal allergies, but I am enjoying it. The lawn needs to be mowed and I am preparing to edge the gardens, cutting out my customary extra few inches in the quest to eventually have more garden than lawn.

Side note: my husband asked how much lawn I was going to cut out this year, to which I replied austerely that as grass grows, so it needs to be trimmed back, and my annual garden edging is merely maintaining the status quo, to which he replied that I might lie to myself, but I shouldn’t lie to him.

My husband, in Betty Draper form.

I can think of no better way to spend Mother’s Day weekend than planting – and possibly tearing out more lawn to make way for omg-how-many-plants-did-I-buy number of flowers. Have a wonderful weekend everyone, and Happy Mother’s Day to all you mamas, step-mamas, aunties, and lovely women. May you celebrate however you like best! xo

In my opinion, the squirrels are evil.

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It appears that spring has sprung, although in Calgary, that means that there will be snow flurries and freezing temperatures interspersed with beautiful, sunny days, so take advantage and carpe diem, people. Carpe diem.

Everything in my garden, except for the notoriously late hostas and the slow-moving clematis are popping their little green heads above ground. Heads? Maybe not heads. They are popping their little green SPROUTS above ground, there we go. It is immensely cheering and satisfying to see a small sea of green, and even a few purple primulas popping up. Less cheering and satisfying is the sad state of affairs that are my tulips. Between the squirrels digging up and eating the bulbs, leaving holes in the garden and broken greenery in their wake, and the rabbits chewing down the foliage, I am reminded why I once tearfully got my husband to dig out every last one of my tulips.

Many years ago, when I was a starry-eyed newlywed, I bought tons of tulip bulbs and planted them in the fall. All sorts of colours; Queen of the Night purple, creamsicle orange and white variegated, apricot, you name it, I planted it. And the lone tulips that survived squirrel digging and rabbit chewing were eventually squashed by heavy late-May snowfalls. This went on for a few years until I couldn’t take the disappointment anymore and my husband headed out with a spade, for a mass tulip opposite-of-burial.

I seemed to have forgotten all about that when I cheerfully planted more bulbs, and then was reminded last spring when the squirrels dug out and ate every single one of my crocus bulbs. Practice non-attachment, love all earth’s creatures, but goddammit, seeing yet another hole where once there was a tulip has me this close to being the kind of person who sits in a rocking chair on the deck and throws rocks and/ or shoes at the squirrels. Well, my aim is pretty poor so that may or may not be a deterrent. Perhaps I shouldn’t stop Barkley the next time he catches a squirrel and leave the body as a cautionary tale to all the squirrels, but then I would probably have a yard full of crows and magpies and hence would be too terrified to leave the house.

Living in peace with all our fellow creatures can be CHALLENGING sometimes.

Speaking of living in peace with fellow creatures, I saw the new Guardians of the Galaxy on the weekend, and it was excellent. Better than the first, in my opinion.

Side note: any time anyone in my house says “In my opinion,” someone else will immediately say “The Jedi are evil!” This, of course, comes from the worst line of dialogue ever in a movie: Revenge of the Sith, one of the scenes just before – spoiler alert, in case you have been living in a galaxy far, far away – Anakin Skywalker becomes Bob, the legless, armless, burned up man.

I just went to find that clip, and I have found, to my extreme distress, that the line is actually, “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” People, I am crushed. I feel like I should keep this information to myself. CAN I keep such important information to myself? CAN I just keep on keeping on?

Anyway. The movie was great; usually I fall asleep or daydream during movies that I go to with the boys, and end up missing major plot points or just becoming overwhelmingly bored, but this was not the case. It was very funny but as a warning, there is a lot of what I would call “teen boy humour” along with some bad language, so keep that in mind. For example, there is some talk of impregnation, and also “my nether regions are becoming engorged” type of commentary. You’ve been warned!

Along with the movie, my mother and I had our annual Mother’s Day pedicures, which was lovely, and then we visited with my parents this weekend. It was warm enough to take out the bikes for the first time this season, and in fact, I was wearing a t-shirt. Later my husband and I were walking the dog and I said to him, “It’s so beautiful, there’s not even any wind!” and I bet you can guess what happened after that. It was kind of educational though, as we watched the wind blow the ice down the lake. The next day was freezing and windy but as I said, it’s spring! At least it didn’t snow!

I know, I know, now I’m bracing for snow.

Accomplishing Things and Reading Motivational Quotes

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You guys, the Mayday tree is budding, the tulips are up, all sorts of hardy plants – yarrow, daylilies, ornamental sage – are making their appearance in my backyard, and today it RAINED. Do you know how rare it is to get rain in Calgary in April? Usually it’s snow. I feel like I’m in some exciting new world where winter doesn’t last eight months.

Now that I’ve said that, it will probably snow tomorrow.

Similarly, I realized that it has been over a year since I was last ill. I made it through the entire winter – including close-quartered yoga teacher training when a number of my fellow students were hacking up lungs and feverish – without getting sick. I thought, perhaps I should write a post about that, but then decided that was hubris, and in doing so I was guaranteeing I would be immediately struck down with the bubonic plague. So this brief mention is all you, dear reader, will have to endure. In any case, my “stay healthy” regimen consists mainly of daily smoothies containing 8-10 cups of spinach, washing my hands like a surgeon, never directly touching doorknobs, and having children who are no longer mobile petrie dishes.

I currently have five library books piled up on my side table; four of them came in within two days of each other, and the other one was a title I picked up on a whim, so I’ve been reading a lot. I finished What Alice Forgot, and while it wasn’t my favourite by that author, it was certainly thought-provoking. The premise is a woman falls and hits her head and is suddenly missing the past ten years of her life; she doesn’t remember her children, her friends, her impending divorce.

If you woke up tomorrow with no memory, none whatsoever, of the past ten years, and had to just reintegrate into your regular life, can you imagine what that would be like? Imagine if you still thought you were the same person you were in 2007. It boggles the mind. I had only just started practicing yoga in 2007, I wasn’t 100% vegetarian, I didn’t have a blog, and I looked a lot like this:

Well, I FELT like that, anyway, since I hadn’t slept through the night since 2003, and by that point I was pretty tired. I really looked like this:

Whatever happened to that denim jacket? I guess I donated it; I barely remember it.

Anyway, it’s an interesting thing to think about, if you just erased the past ten years. All the friends that you would have made in the past ten years, you’d have no memory of. The children’s school years, family dramas, deaths, home renovations, etc., all of those would be GONE. My god, I wouldn’t even remember Barkley. I would just suddenly be thrust into a home with a super cute fluffy dog who insistently nudges me when he wants to be petted, and begs for carrot ends.

Well. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

It’s been a real Get It Done week in the Boyhouse. I don’t know if it’s post-vacation energy or the fact that I’m reading motivational quotes, but I have been Down To Business around here. You know those little jobs that take hardly any time, but are annoying and you hate them? I’ve been doing all those jobs! And I have to say, it is incredibly Empowering (motivational quote-inspired) because damn, now those stupid little things are Done. Going through the pile of mail and filing things and recycling others, picking up boring items at Walmart, vacuuming the stairs. That kind of thing. I feel a vast, and probably greatly overstated, measure of accomplishment in doing those little chores.

I will confess to one of the stupidest jobs that I always put off; I hesitate to even call it a “job” because really, it’s almost nothing. I don’t think this can even qualify as a job, but here goes: Sunday nights I make a big dinner, and usually there is gravy. My gravy boat resides in the cupboard above the fridge, and every Sunday night after the dishes are done, I just let the gravy boat sit on the counter for a day or two before I put it back, because it seems like too much work after all that cooking. Because pulling a chair two feet and then getting on the chair and putting the gravy boat back in the cupboard is just a Bridge Too Far. But having the gravy boat on the counter is incredibly annoying to me, and I keep thinking to myself, all Monday and Tuesday, I need to put the gravy boat away, I need to put the gravy boat away, I need to put the gravy boat away, before I finally do it.

This is a long and boring way to say that last Sunday I just PUT THE GODDAMN GRAVY BOAT AWAY ON SUNDAY NIGHT and honestly, it was – is Life-Changing too dramatic? – Life-Changing. I mean, I have to do it anyway. It takes literally thirty seconds. Why do I aggravate myself by not just doing it? This thought spiraled into other areas in my life. Why put off something that can be done right now, and get it off the Giant List of Things To Do? Why have something as stupid as a gravy boat hanging over me? FREEDOM.

So, I urge you, dear reader: go DO IT. Do whatever it is hanging over your head. Do the thing on your to-do list that will take no time but you don’t want to do it. Make the phone call. Schedule the appointment. Just Do It And Then It Will Be Done, is my new motto. It is incredibly Freeing, I tell you.

Just in case you’re wondering, no, no one else in my house will put away the gravy boat because I have somehow created a Reign of Terror around putting things away incorrectly in the kitchen. I know! I need to figure out how to rectify this issue but in the meantime, Gravy Boat Serenity rests on my shoulders.