Category Archives: Fashion

A Week of Spring Outfits; 114 Weeks In

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The other morning after class I complimented one of my ladies on her cherry-red top. She always looks good in one of her several red, pink, and purple tops, but that morning she looked particularly glowing and lovely, and I told her so. She thanked me and then said, “Well, Nicole, you know, I’m a Spring.” I smiled at that, and she followed it up with her theory that even if you don’t get your Colours done officially, you can tell what season you are by what clothing you gravitate towards. Her theory said that we naturally choose the clothes and colours that suit us best, and you know, I think she’s right.

I know for myself, I gravitate towards what I recently heard referred to as the New York Rainbow – black, grey, and white – and simple cuts and lines. I read The Curated Closet this week, which is all about discovering and cultivating your personal style and esthetic, one that works with your lifestyle, without succumbing to trends that are unsuitable or fast fashion, so it’s fitting that this week’s post is all about clothing.

As a note, I recognize that fashion trends are not aimed at me or my demographic. I know! I know. The trendsetters are not putting together lookbooks with the 47-year-old Calgary woman in mind, but wow, this season’s fashion trends are not at all suited to me or the esthetic I aim for. Let’s just forget about the bright colours and patterns that I don’t feel comfortable in, let’s just forget about how SHORT all the tops are this season, which are not flattering for my perimenopausal figure, let’s just talk about about cut: everything is ruched and ruffled and the puffy sleeves are enough to satisfy Anne Shirley’s deepest desires. Everything is ruffled! Everything has ruching! Sleeves are all puffed and shoulders are expanded upon! Needless to say, this isn’t an esthetic that works for me, which, on the upside, means that it’s pretty easy to refrain from mindlessly shopping.

One of the topics in The Curated Closet is the Uniform; not an actual uniform, but the type of clothes a person wears daily. Do you have a Spring Uniform? My Spring Uniform is not too dissimilar from my Rest Of The Year Uniform, which is to say fitted pants – yoga leggings or skinny jeans – and longer, often flowing tops, with lots of layers. Layers are key when you live in a climate like Calgary’s – spring is incredibly and wildly volatile, and temperatures, precipitation, and wind speeds can and do change hourly. Also, we had windchills below zero this week with icy cold rain and, yes, snowflakes in the air, which, well, I’ll just be over in the corner crying softly, thinking about my garden.

My dad told me that he read that this spring is the coldest Western Canada has had in…I forget what he said, actually, but whatever it was I found it weirdly comforting. I had started to lose all perspective and just accept that we lived in a frozen hellscape where summer will never come, never. Ah! This isn’t normal! Sometimes it IS warm! It gave me a weird sense of hope.

Anyway, back to clothes. While I’d like to showcase seven days of light springwear, this is not my reality. Instead I give you seven days of clothes while dealing with crazy weather fluctuations! Please note that while two of the pants are new within the last year, most of these pieces are several years old, some more than a decade old. When I buy a piece, I want it to last a long time and I want it to incorporate into my wardrobe smoothly. Not to anthropomorphize my clothing or anything, but I want all my pieces to get along and play nicely together. I love getting dressed in the morning; putting together the Day’s Costume based on my activities and the weather is always fun for me. One of the reasons I love Marie Kondo is her Sparking Joy concept; my clothes spark joy and they all have a role to play in my life. Okay, maybe I anthropomorphize my clothing. But what of it? It’s not like I think they have a secret life and are enacting little dramas and romances when I go to bed at night. (But what if they do? That would be fun.)

One Week of Spring Outfits

Thursday

The week starts on a Thursday! Thursday is a teaching day, and this is a pretty typical teaching outfit for me: yoga tank and leggings with a tee. The fitted tank is essential, because tees tend to ride up during things like downward dog, and I prefer to keep my midriff covered at all times. It’s hard to tell from the photo but the tank is a black and charcoal camo print, and the tee matches the charcoal. It’s all about the little things.

This is a little thing but I left the house with just a sweater and scarf! No coat! No boots! No gloves! As mentioned above, with our weather this is NOTABLE. Most people associate scarves with fall, but I associate them with spring and jauntily strolling around with only a light sweater as protection against the elements.

Friday

This was hands-down my favourite outfit of the week. The jeans are new and a perfect fit, which is miraculous because I bought them online during Black Friday sales, which is risky! The risk paid off! Sweater, tank, and scarf are all many years old, and the shoes are the cutest and comfiest little Skechers. Well, not little. My feet are pretty big. But I’m wearing SHOES without SOCKS and not BOOTS. Spring!

Saturday

We have been trying to go bowling at our fitness club as a family as often as possible, and the last time we went, there was a young girl’s birthday party going on and it was glow-in-the-dark bowling with a dance competition on the big screen! So much fun. I have moves like Jagger, people. Anyway, these jeans were also part of my online Black Friday purchase, and this top, well, I love it. I bought it while shopping with my mom in her small town, probably seven years ago now. It doesn’t get much wear because it’s so lightweight, the weather has to be warm, but not too warm, to wear it.

Saucy bowling shoes courtesy of the club.

Sunday

Gardening day! It was warm enough to be in the garden, and so I was out there for a long time, edging and weeding and basically spinning around with happiness.

The jeans date from 2008 and have, clearly, worn right through the knees. The tee was a $5USD purchase from Maui in 2015 or 2016, and it always gives me happy tropical memories. Those shoes are my gardening shoes; they are Skechers with a flower motif.

Monday

Monday is a teaching day, so my uniform of tank, tee, and tights is the order of the day. This was the warmest day of the week, and so my tights are capri-length, and again, shoes with no socks!

Tuesday

Well, nothing can last forever, and this was the day the weather changed for the worse. No more shoes without socks, no leaving the house without a coat.

I have to tell you about this coat: I bought it when the boys were in preschool. PRESCHOOL! And this week my son graduates high school. I love it just as much as when I bought it; it’s a little “off-brand” for me colour-wise but I love it. It’s lined, it’s waterproof, it has a hood and is long enough to keep me warm on these chilly spring days.

Underneath: a sweater, but a light sweater, paired with a tank and the most comfortable pants you can imagine. These pants are from lululemon, and they are actual pants with a button and zipper, but they feel like yoga pants. It’s magic.

Did you know Sorel makes non-winter boots? They do! These are cute and comfortable AND water-proof, so good for snowy/ rainy spring days that are not below freezing. Did I just type that sentence? Yes, I did.

Wednesday

Wednesday is grocery day, and so I need something akin to workout wear. I mean, this was my haul from Superstore and Costco last Wednesday:

It took 52 minutes to put everything away. Forget carry-out service, I need a service to help me actually put the groceries away in my house.

Anyway, this Extreme Workout requires comfortable clothes that I can move around in, and that means yoga tank and pants, and this cute light sweater that cannot be worn without something underneath because it’s roomy and moves around a lot, if you know what I’m saying.

That’s it for the outfits, now for the books!

Pandemic Reading

These Precious Days. OH. I don’t think I can adequately express how much I loved this. I have read many essay collections and none have affected me like this. Everything resonated. Everything moved me. I feel a kinship and connection to the author that is incredibly strong. I loved every single word. I’m a fast reader but I slowed down because I didn’t want this to be over. It was such an incredible read for me and I cannot say enough about it.

The Curated Closet. As I mentioned above, this was a perfect book for my Week of Spring Outfits! This was so much fun to read! It’s all about discovering and establishing your own personal style and aesthetic, with helpful hints on how to shop mindfully, look for quality and fit, and detox your closet. Very fun and really well laid out and photographed. It has inspired me to go ahead with a Big Project that I have been turning around in my mind for the last few months.

Honor. I pride myself on being honest in my reviews, and this is painful for me to say. I have been looking forward to reading this for months; I was so excited when it came in at the library. I love this author and I was so interested in the very important story and theme. I want you to know that, to know just how much I hate to say what I’m going to say: I am disappointed. I found the characters to be one-dimensional and it was difficult to care about them, the dialogue is stilted, and the narration seemed contrived and heavy handed. It pains me to say it. Based on the author’s other works, I expected to be transported and amazed, but I wasn’t. It lacked the nuance and subtlety I love about her other books. It’s a decent book, it’s worth a read, but it’s not incredible or transformative and that is what I expected. It might be just me, and having high expectations, but this was a let down. 

I have a hugely busy and exciting week ahead, the sun is supposed to shine (mostly), and so I am feeling great and optimistic! I hope you have a wonderful spring-y week! xo

You Could Stuff A Throw Pillow With That Chest Hair; 113 Weeks In

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I was planning to post a Week of Spring Outfits, but this is what it looked like at the beginning of the week:

Although the week ended in a spring-like fashion, I thought the early part would overlap too much with my Week of Winter Outfits, what with my winter boots and warm sweaters. But I’m dying to talk to you about clothes and fashion for spring! Maybe next week.

You know what’s fun to do when you’re wearing your winter boots and it’s 5 degrees and snowy in May? Go to the garden centre! It sounds like I am being sarcastic, but believe me, I am not. I prefer to shop at less busy times; this sounds like a Pandemic Thing but it’s really just a Nicole Thing. I have always hated shopping at busy times; once, pre-pandemic, I went to Costco on a Sunday afternoon and my thought was this is how it ends for me, I guess.

When the sun comes out and the weather feels more May than March, it’s almost like the entire city remembers that a) it’s spring and b) gardens exist, and the garden centres are abuzz with activity. But with weather like we’ve had, well, I’m not saying I had the whole place to myself, but it was pretty easy to socially distance.

I texted my modest haul to my husband, who marvelled at my plant-buying restraint. What he didn’t know was that I have six flower planters and a ten-pack of vegetables on order from a fundraiser arriving in a couple of weeks, and what he does know but doesn’t always remember is that the majority of my gardens are filled to the brim with perennials, and so my plant needs are not so large. Also, after my garden centre trip I went to Superstore, where the gift with purchase was…a flower planter! What I’m saying is I’m pretty excited to get in the garden and get as much as I can out of our very short growing season. You can expect many, many garden updates from me over the next few months.

On a non-garden note, here’s an exciting update for you: I have finished watching Season One of The Golden Girls! At this rate I’m going to finish the series by 2026. Season Two opened up with two fantastic episodes: Blanche thinking she’s pregnant, but is instead going through menopause, and the ladies becoming mistaken for sex workers and ending up arrested. There is a guest appearance by the man referred to throughout the episode as Mr. Burt Reynolds, and I actually laughed out loud with delight when the gentleman in question appeared at the door with Sophia. Sorry, spoiler alert for a 37 year old TV show.

Anyway, it got me thinking two things: first, this might have been one of the very first mainstream television shows to discuss The Change, even if there are plot holes you could lose your house in. I mean, who thinks pregnancy at age 55? And also, in the history of the world is there one woman whose periods just naturally stopped with no other changes at all, and that was her menopause? But I cheer the effort to address something that women then, and sometimes now, seem loathe to address.

Second, heartthrobs in the 80s were very different from heartthrobs today. They were so much hairier! No chest waxing for Mr. Burt Reynolds (do guys still wax their chests? Or did that go out with the 40 Year Old Virgin?) I will tell you, people, when I saw that giant moustache, tanned skin, and brown leisure suit walk into the Golden Girls’ home, well. It was a look.

It reminded me of our 1987 family trip to California. We did all the usual things, including the most boring viewing of the Spruce Goose, which only served to make me appreciate the casino episode of The Simpsons. Anyway, one of the things we did was go to Universal Studios, and I don’t remember a single thing about it except that there were life-size cardboard cutouts of then-current heartthrobs, notably Tom Selleck, which you could get your photo taken with to trick your friends into thinking that you had your photo taken with the ACTUAL Tom Selleck. The 80s! Such a quaint time. My mom did have her photo taken with “Tom,” his arm floating a couple of inches above her shoulder. I myself had my photo taken with one “David Hasselhoff.”

It was an odd choice to be sure; I have never in my life seen an episode of Knight Rider, and certainly I wasn’t interested in David Hasselhoff at that time. My celebrity crushes in 1987 were limited to Iceman and Maverick (NEW MOVIE COMING OUT SOON OMG), Corey Hart (I was in his actual fan club), and, weirdly, Ralph Macchio from the Karate Kid Part II.

Another odd choice is my Garfield zodiac sweatshirt paired with a collared shirt but again, it was 1987 and I felt pretty hip. Also, there’s no need to ask “What’s your sign” when it’s in Garfield form on your body, for all to see.

Pandemic Reading

Before I get into the books I read this week, I am going to tell you about something I did that I never do: I took a book back to the library without reading it. A friend had highly recommended a book and I immediately put it on hold, without any other information, and when it came in I was distressed to see that it was a memoir about addiction. Addiction memoirs are right up there with sci-fi and dystopian novels for me, in the category of Things I Don’t Want To Read. Not only was this an Addiction Memoir, but it was also a Parenting With Addiction Memoir. I kept putting it off and renewing it, and finally I decided I would flip to a couple of pages to see what it was like. The very first line I read concerned putting a child to bed and then doing a line of coke, and I was like that NOPE octopus gif.

Here is what I did read this week:

Black Widow. I heard this woman on a podcast and I knew I had to read her book about being suddenly widowed at age 44.  It’s such a compelling and touching read but also extremely witty and somehow funny. 

The Great Gatsby. CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ALERT. I first read this 25 years ago and HATED it. Like, I have a visceral reaction to even the title. But my younger son is reading it for English, so I decided to reread it. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t like it but I can appreciate it as a social commentary, a time capsule, a voice of a generation, etc. Still. My son suggested I don’t like it because it’s written by a man and the main character is a man, and you know, he’s probably not wrong. I find it dull, although the ending is decent. I know, I know, I am in the massive minority here, everyone loves it and it speaks to them, but that is the great thing about literature, we can all like what we like. And I don’t like this – but I can appreciate it.

Everything Must Go. I almost quit this book before I began: the very first paragraph, THE VERY FIRST ONE, deals with putting down a much loved dog riddled with cancer. Um, that sucked. I immediately checked the book jacket to see if this was a major theme in the book – it wasn’t – and then continued reading. The dead dog was only tangentially in the story but TRIGGER WARNING for those of us with elderly, cancer-ridden dogs. Anyway. The book is about a woman dealing with her mothers dementia, written from both points of view. The author’s signature seems to be light and easy books about heavy and difficult topics, and that’s how I’d describe this. DEAD DOG THOUGH YOU GUYS. It’s fine. It’s fine. Barkley’s still here. I’m fine. Everything is fine. This book is fine.

More than fine? My new kale patch! I felt a little nervous, putting actual plants in, but kale is pretty cold tolerant so I think it will be fine. I hope you have a More Than Fine week, my friends. xo

Two Years Of Pandemic At The Disco; One Hundred and Four Weeks In

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I have been reading Keep Moving by Maggie Smith, and it’s beautiful; I wish, though, that I had read it two years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic. It’s perfect for Pandemic Life; for any kind of Life that has encountered loss, really.

It was exactly two years ago yesterday that everything shut down, and thinking back on that time, it seems surreal. Did we all just…stay home? We did and what I remember most is that hopeless feeling that came from the schools shutting down, lining up to just get into the grocery store, and becoming completely intolerant of hearing predictions about what would come next, how long this would last, and all the other end-of-the-world prophecies.

It would be wrong and horrible to say that a pandemic that has killed almost six million people, that has caused financial and economic ruin to many, that has brought so much pain and suffering in so many different ways, that has divided us as a people seemingly irrevocably, and that has left us all with skyrocketing inflation and government debt is a good thing. It isn’t. But when I read the above passage, from The Choice by Edith Eger, something pinged.

…the things that interrupt our lives, that stop us in our tracks, can also be catalysts for the emerging self, tools that show us a new way to be, that endow us with new vision.

If that doesn’t describe Pandemic Life, I don’t know what does.

March 2020, I remember, was very cold and grey, and this month has also been very cold and grey. I personally do not feel cold and grey, at least not figuratively. Literally it’s pretty cold and also I need to colour my hair this week. But, you know, I feel fine. It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine could be the theme song to my life over the past two years.

We have all come so far and done so well at learning how to pivot and change and roll with the punches. There have been a lot of punches, that’s for sure. Life sure isn’t what I thought it would be, but you know what, I have been thinking that we never know what life is going to be like. We are always going to grow and change and pivot.

The other day, my Facebook memories showed me at my very last book fair, in 2017, and I thought, oh wow! The book fair, and my life as the Book Fair Lady and Chair of the School Council took up so much of my time and energy, and now that time is far in the rearview mirror. Speaking of the rearview mirror, pre-pandemic, I was teaching up to ten classes a week, and now I teach two. It’s hard to remember the frantic pace I moved at to teach that many classes and the kind of energy I had to exude at each one. Those days are also long gone, like my food blogging days, like the days I was at home with the little ones, like the days I worked on a trade floor, like my own youth, but that’s okay. Life is always changing, and sometimes we look back at our past selves and think who was that woman?

For example, I came across the most insane “featured outfits” on one of the fashion blogs I follow. I stared at it for a long while, wondering if it was a joke. Balloon jeans, shorts with kitten heels and knee-length argyle socks, the weirdest looking shoulder pads I have ever seen. But then I remembered that I owned, and wore, red palazzo pants in 1996-97, and denim overalls in the early to mid-nineties. Who was that woman? And why is her hair like that?

Nothing says “night on the town” like a nine-inch zipper and a bandanna-style top.

Anyway, two years! This past weekend we went to a restaurant to celebrate my parents’ 50th anniversary; six months ago I could hardly even fathom doing such a thing, but I am so happy we were able to do so. To be honest, I was worried that we would end up doing nothing for them, and that made me so very sad. For their 25th anniversary, I somehow organized a surprise party; this was pre-email, pre-internet, and so I think I mailed actual invitations, looking up their friends in the phone book. That party was a success but having since been to a couple of surprise parties that were NOT successes – the guests of honour being somewhat horrified about having a party sprung upon them completely unprepared, wearing sweatpants, or being very angry with the surprise party-organizer-who-happened-to-be-their-spouse-who-is-not-coincidentally-not-their-spouse-any-longer – I can tell you that surprises are not for everyone.

Maybe we as a general population are just not great with the unknown, or with anything that causes us to change course suddenly, or to think longingly of the past.

It just occurred to me: maybe the pandemic is like an awkward and unwanted surprise party, thrown by the spouse who you were completely incompatible with and everyone could see the split coming a mile away, not that the surprise party was the catalyst for the breakup, exactly, but it was just one of many symptoms of a larger problem. The party has gone on for much too long, and everyone, upon grabbing their jackets and leaving, will be changed on some fundamental level. Is this metaphor unravelling as I write it? I don’t know.

Oh wait! It’s like The Breakfast Club, complete with all the fat-shaming and slut-shaming and general shaming. We are thrown together in a punishing way and may think that we have been changed fundamentally when it’s over, but are we? At the beginning of the pandemic, I thought we would emerge stronger as a people, undivided, with more gratitude and compassion, and now I wonder if anyone will ever acknowledge Brian in the hallway. Will anyone learn from this?

Well. Two years of Pandemic At The Disco. One of the ladies in my Monday class had a throwaway comment about Covid being over, and another lady got pretty snippy and said that Covid is NOT over and I had to sweetly smooth things over, lest a brawl erupt in Strengthen and Tone Yoga. But I feel that they were both right, in a way. Covid is not over, but I feel like the fear and panic that we have been feeling for two years is subsiding substantially. In any case, the weekly count continues.

Just stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days.

Pandemic Reading

Keep Moving. As I alluded to, this book, which was written after the author’s divorce, is perfect for pandemic life. This would have been a perfect book to read, one page at a time, before daily yoga. However, I got it at the library, so I read it just like a regular book. I wish I had read it in spring 2020. I may get my own copy so I can savor it over yoga.

The Hundred Wells of Salaga. This book is based on the experiences of the author’s great-great grandmother in pre-colonial Ghana. It follows two women, one a princess who wants power in her father’s male-dominated court, one a woman kidnapped and sold into slavery. I was glad there were family trees and a cast of characters as it was quite complicated and tricky to follow at times. It’s an interesting look at internal slavery within Ghana.

Welcoming the Unwelcome. Would you believe this is the first Pema Chodron book I’ve read? I know! Talk about a great book for pandemic life. This was written in 2019 but is perfect for right now; the focus is on opening your heart and working on building community in an increasingly polarized world. The polarization of our world is something I have been thinking about a lot. How do we even come back from this as a society? How do we move forward from the us versus them mentality that, let’s face it, we all have. This book was clearly written to address the then-current US administration, but the lessons can be certainly applied to today’s world, as we start to heal as a people.

At least, I HOPE as we heal as a people.

Happy Two Year Pande-versary, my friends. Take care of yourselves, especially as it’s TIME CHANGE WEEK. Ugh! Give yourself a little extra grace this week. xo

Marital Mismatches and Superpowers; One Hundred and Two Weeks In

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It feels like I was JUST saying that February is tomorrow, and here we are, MARCH is tomorrow! February flew by; part of it was that it felt like Life Was Hectic, with wrestling tournaments and a new school semester and a five-day weekend thrown in for good measure, but part of it was that we have had absolutely gorgeous, mild weather in a I Can’t Believe It’s February kind of way. This, however, came to an abrupt end this past week; I had to put on my snowpants, again, to go for a walk.

It’s weather like this that makes automatic car starters so popular around here, for people who don’t have garages. I mean, obviously. I am no expert on this subject, but I can only assume that if a person were to use an automatic car starter while their car was in a garage, they might drop dead of carbon monoxide poisoning on entering the garage, unless the garage door was open, but if it was, why would you need the automatic car starter? Why would you go into the garage, open the door, and then use an automatic car starter? Why wouldn’t you just start your car?

Anyway, automatic car starters. I don’t have one – I have a garage, and I use it – but I’m sure they are great for weather like we had this past week. As I was walking the other day, attired as above, I started to pass a truck parked on the street, and then that truck started lightly honking its horn. I thought maybe it was a neighbour, trying to get my attention, but then I wasn’t sure how anyone would know I was me, dressed as I was, with sunglasses to boot. Startled, I looked up, but no one was in the truck. Then the truck started, and I thought, oh, automatic car starter and kept on my way. Shortly after that, the same thing happened with ANOTHER vehicle. And then another one! Three times this happened to me in a sixty minute walk, a light honk and then the car starting just as I was passing it, with no one in the vehicle.

I actually started to wonder if I had suddenly developed the world’s weirdest and most useless superpower, the ability to start cars merely by passing them on the street. Imagine! It would have been nicer to suddenly develop the ability to fly, or control the weather, or even swing from buildings using webs shooting out of my own wrists, but I will admit I will take anything I can get in the superpower front.

As I was walking, I was listening to a podcast that was recorded in the summer, in Los Angeles, and one of the hosts mentioned that she hates showering, and showers only when she has to, which turns out to be every three to four days. Now, before I get further, I am going to say that if you are a person who is of similar mindset, I am not judging you: I assume we all know our own bodies and needs best, and this is a safe space, we are in the Trust Tree here. You do you.

Personally, I am a Daily Shower person, and I realize this is a great privilege of the Modern Age, but my Daily Shower is an Anchor in my day, and without it I feel like I would drift off into the Sea of Life. Even though I do not wash my hair every time I shower – that I do only about every 2-3 days – I feel refreshed and happy and like I hit the Reset Button Of Life every time I step out of the shower. It’s an important ritual in my day, and also, if you’ve ever seen me post-daily-workout, you would probably think a daily shower should not only be encouraged, but vital.

I get sweaty, is what I’m saying. I haven’t weighed myself since August 2020, and I don’t plan on weighing myself ever again, but sometimes I wonder how much water weight I lose in a workout. I’m a person who sweats a lot and I shall not sweat-shame myself, but honestly. I could wring out a tank top post-workout.

Back to the podcast. After the host mentioned her distaste for showers, the other host asked if her husband was still showering twice a day and that brings me to my whole point. Twice a day showers feels like a lot, but I have definitely done that in the summer, after a day spent outside gardening or hiking, covered in sunscreen and bug spray. But what I have a hard time reconciling in my head is what is their marriage like? You never know, of course, what goes on in someone’s marriage, but if my husband – who also showers daily – started showering every 3-4 days, I think it would end in divorce. I just couldn’t handle it. I recognize, again, privilege and that our bodies adjust to what we do to them, but still.

It’s the mismatch that gets me. It’s not like I think my husband and I should be clones of each other, because that would be weird and disturbing, and also I would not want to be married to my own clone, god, there can’t be TWO of us. But I also don’t think that Opposites Attract, or if they do Attract, they don’t Stay Attracted, if you know what I mean.

I have been thinking about this because we are coming up to our twentieth anniversary – twenty years! – in a few weeks. I find it interesting, there are so many behaviours that would never bother me if anyone else in the world did them, but if it was my husband, NO. NO SIR. The following would put an actual strain on my marriage, an I don’t think this is WORKING kind of strain: smoking, leaving dirty clothes on the floor instead of in the hamper, drug use, neglecting his health, and, importantly, less frequent showering than me. Fortunately, none of those things have come to pass, so we shall happily celebrate our China Anniversary later this month, minus the china.

Look at that sweet young thing! She had no idea that in twenty years, she’d be writing about marital shower habits.

Pandemic Reading

Notes From A Small Island. When I posted this on Instagram, a friend introduced me to the Bill Bryson Theory: the first one you read is hilarious, and then each subsequent title is progressively less funny. YES. I have enjoyed Bryson so much in previous books but this, meh. It follows him on a seven-week tour of Britain, his adopted country, and yes, this was published in 1995 so it is obviously dated and yes, Britain in the 80s and 90s was a grim and depressing place to be, but ugh. This book was so dull and disappointing. There were a couple of amusing anecdotes and some interesting facts, but whoever reviewed this at The Globe and Mail – “Doubled over belly shakes and seltzer through the nose funny” – was maybe drunk.

Black Is The Body. This was excellent! I love a good essay collection and this one was insightful and thoughtful. The first essay, about the author being randomly stabbed at a coffee shop, was startling; the rest of the book deals with race, home, marriage, and motherhood, all tying back to her body and what it means to be black in America. 

The Echo Chamber. This is a very clever satire and commentary about appearances, social media, and cancel culture. The Cleverley family is an absolutely ridiculous group of caricatures, but there’s a thoughtful and interesting pre-SM backstory. Also interesting to me is that it was published in 2021 and there are quite a few references to past mask-wearing, vaccinations, and how fun it is to go shopping again, now that the pandemic is over. Oh, sweetie. The epilogue I could have done without, but in general it was smart and amusing. As I say, it’s satire, so definitely not for everyone, as there are a few storylines that feel distasteful.

My Boyfriend Wrote A Book About Me. I am NOT the correct demographic for this book, that much is obvious. It is supposed to be a humorous book of essays about bad dates, relationships, and one-night stands, but I found it so terribly sad. The whole time, I kept thinking Oh, sweetie, no. No, don’t sleep with that guy. No. That’s not going to help your self-esteem. It’s been a long time since I was on the dating scene but hoo boy, this woman had literally the worst luck with men. As a preview, her ex wrote a book about her, referring to her as his “fat-assed girlfriend,” which should give you an idea about the general temperature of the book.

There has been a lot of terrible news this week, as we are all aware. I haven’t mentioned the incredible sadness and fear for the people living in Ukraine, for all my Ukrainian friends, but of course that has been on my mind this week. Lots of love to all of you, from my little corner of the world. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The I Choo-Choo-Choose Me Edition

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I am obsessed with the song i by Kendrick Lamar. Do you know it? When he heard me playing it and singing along, my son told me that i is on The Greatest Hip Hop Album Of All Time, which I didn’t know, but which made me feel like this:

Or maybe this:

I would probably feel more hip if I didn’t hear the song on a Peloton ride, which, like all middle-aged suburban ladies who have joined the Peloton cult, is how I am exposed to all new music. Case in point: watching the Superbowl 2021 halftime show, I exclaimed “I know this song, I heard it on Peloton!” It was, of course, The Weeknd, which was top of the charts for much of 2020. This is what happens when you keep the radio tuned to 70s on 7, you miss out on the trends.

Note: the Superbowl 2022 halftime show was the best halftime show in the history of halftime shows, and I will DIE ON THIS HILL.

In any case, i is a great song, and I love myself goes through my head over and over on a regular basis.

It’s pithy but true: if we don’t show love to ourselves, how can we show up to the people around us or the world at large? We can’t.

Back in August 2020, I read the book Your Body Your Best Friend, and I am not exaggerating when I say that it was absolutely life-changing. I had picked it up on a whim at the library, and ended up buying a copy for myself, so I could reference it whenever I wanted.

I strongly believe that we need to be our own best friend, our own best cheerleader, and our own best supporter. We can’t show up as our best selves without loving ourselves, just as we are. One way to accomplish this is to do little things for ourselves, every day. We need to choose ourselves, and to choose things that make us happy and contented, and on that note:

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The I Choo-Choo-Choose Me Edition

Lube Up, Baby

I love the body lotions from Bath and Body Works, and a couple of times a year I go for the buy 3, get 3 deal. Every morning, right before my shower, I choose the scent I want for that day and set it out. It’s a pleasant tiny ritual that makes me happy every time. What a fun thing to choose every day! Warm Vanilla Sugar for a cozy day at home, Japanese Cherry Blossom for teaching, Saltwater Breeze for groceries?

It’s risky, but I have been choosing new scents in the store without being able to actually smell them, because of mask-wearing. One such new scent was the Fresh Cut Lilacs, and the first time I wore it, I smiled every time I caught a whiff of it, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. After a day of wearing it, I realized that it smells exactly like a Yardley body powder that I used to give my grandma for Christmas. Remember those? I am not saying that you want to smell like your own grandma, but I’m kind of saying you might want to smell like your own grandma. It’s very pleasing and happy-making.

Day By Day

This is my bedside table, and on it, among all the various items from my children and a clock radio dating from the early 90s, is a page-a-day calendar. I hadn’t had one since I worked in an office – probably it was a Far Side one – but I saw this while Christmas shopping and was immediately charmed. It’s put out by the New Yorker and every day has a short love story. I bought it thinking it was romantic love, and there is certainly that, but it’s much more: familial, friendship, unrequited. There are a lot more stories about breakups and death than you might think, but they are all very charming. I mean:

Another recent one was about noticing a person with the same groceries in her cart as the author, and wow, that resonated with me and my little life.

Line By Line

I am NOT a journal-keeper; I feel like this blog is journal enough. However, you may be surprised to know that I don’t share everything here. I know! Didn’t I just talk about my chin hair and my average tampon usage? Is nothing sacred? But it’s true, some things are private, even if I don’t mind talking endlessly about my moustache’s sudden youthful resurgence and what kind of bras I wear.

I don’t like the thought of writing in a traditional journal, but I decided to buy a five year, line-a-day journal and I love it. It’s so easy to summarize the day in one little line, and I don’t need to go into my feelings in depth or anything.

It’s kind of perfect for these times when I can’t remember when something happened. My great-grandma kept a journal that was literally just weather, what she had planted in her garden, and something small about her day; it sounds like not much, but I really like looking at it, and I want to have a similar record for my own use. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a great-granddaughter who will read it and think wow, boring, and yet scintillating.

Accessorize!

Back when I was 14 or 15, a guy said to me that I “wore more jewelry than Mr. T,” which was an exaggeration, but only a slight one.

I mean, he wasn’t wrong. I do love jewelry, it’s true; I enjoy the little ritual of choosing my jewelry each day when I get dressed. Some things are default; I always wear my rings, watch, and Pandora bracelets, but I like to choose different necklaces based on what I’m wearing, plus left-wrist bracelets and earrings.

A funny story about earrings: I generally wear little silver sleeper hoops, and I don’t take them out. Back before Christmas, I was over visiting with my sister-in-law, and I realized that one of them had fallen out. I couldn’t find it and honestly, I was a bit devastated. I have quite a few other pairs of silver hoop earrings, gifted to me over the years by my parents, and so I wasn’t devastated for long. I just got into the habit of choosing earrings each day, and it was pretty fun.

Then, just this past week, I was putting clothes in the dryer and lo, there was my earring! The thing is, I lost the earring before I got the new dryer. How did it get there? Was it in a sweater I hadn’t washed until now? That seems suspect, but I guess it could have happened. Anyway, the positive thing is I have my favourite pair of earrings. The negative thing is now I’m just…wearing them all the time and not choosing new ones daily. Wow, life is hard.

Put On A Happy Outfit

I already wrote about clothes this week, and how much I love getting dressed every day, but what I didn’t write about was how I also love putting on my workout clothes. Sure, I could wear just anything to work out in, but why? Why not something cute and fun? I set out my workout clothes every night before I go to bed, and it’s always fun choosing a cute tee to go with my tank and leggings.

This last one cracks me up; it was in my Christmas stocking this year, and I texted a photo of it to my similarly Austen-loving sister-in-law (HI JO). Whenever something crappy happens, our shorthand now is “Fuck Lydia.” When the diploma exams were cancelled, I got a text from her saying only “Fuck Lydia,” which I think sums up things nicely. You should try it! It’s surprisingly wide-reaching.

Slight digression, I was chatting with my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) about this shirt, which led to a conversation about Which Austen Character Are You? We all want to be Elizabeth, but like Marie says in When Harry Met Sally, “Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humour, but they can’t ALL have good taste.” Everyone wants to be Elizabeth Bennett, or Jo March, but not everyone can be Elizabeth Bennett or Jo March. (I’m an Amy, honestly). I admitted to Nicole that I think I’m actually Charlotte Lucas, not because my husband is a Mr. Collins – NO, he emphatically is not – but because I am a very practical person and I make life decisions for practical, rather than emotional, reasons. She admitted that she’s a Mary, and every time I think of that, I laugh. Literally, no one else in the world would admit to being a) Charlotte Lucas, and b) Mary Bennett. What a pair of Nicoles we are! Maybe we are just really self-aware. I don’t want to think of any alternative explanation.

These are all my favourite daily things this month, things I choo-choo-choose every day. What do you do to choo-choo-choose yourself? I hope it’s something lovely. xo

A Week of Winter Outfits; One Hundred and One Weeks In

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When you were a kid, did you have paper dolls or Barbies or those Mattel Fashion Plates? I sure did and I loved them immoderately. I loved the idea of different clothes for different activities; I loved putting together the outfits and imagining what the doll would do in those outfits. Gardening! The opera! Or, in the case of my Princess Di paper dolls, dancing with John Travolta or heading to Balmoral for some kind of Scottish holiday! In my world, Princess Di was free of crushing sadness and eating disorders; her life was non-stop fun and excitement, and there was an outfit for every occasion.

What I’m saying is that I love clothes, then and now. I love my own clothes and I love other people’s clothes, too. I admire other people’s style, even when – maybe especially when – it is really different from mine. I love the thought of expressing oneself through one’s clothing, I love looking at new fashion trends, even when I have no intention of incorporating them into my own wardrobe – I’m looking at you, balloon leg jeans – and I absolutely LOVE accessories and how easy it is to add flair to an outfit.

To that end, I follow a number of fashion bloggers, from a woman in her 30s to a woman twice that and everything in between, and the blogs all have one thing in common: they are aspirational. I mean, one of them JUST posted about what to wear in St. Barth’s. Like, this isn’t information I NEED, but I like it. I love looking at the fashion blogs, with their gorgeous scenic backgrounds and their perfect clothes, but rarely do the outfits resonate with me in a I could wear that kind of way. Almost never do I see an outfit and think that it could fit into my life.

Also, I’m not going to St. Barth’s anytime soon, but if I do, I will know what to wear.

I am not a trendy woman in any way, nor do I believe in the Fashion Police, but I have one very strict rule that I follow when it comes to clothes, and that is that I should always feel good in my clothes. When I get dressed every morning, I want to feel happy, comfortable, and cute. If I don’t, something is wrong with my outfit. This is a very important distinction: something is wrong with my OUTFIT, something is NOT wrong with ME.

It is really important to me to get dressed in something that makes me feel good, every single day, no matter what the day has in store for me. That’s why I decided to write about all the outfits I wore last week, why I chose them, and my feelings associated with them. What else is there to write about in February? The snow? As a note, it’s winter here and currently very cold, but last week the temperatures are what I think of as mild winter temperatures – hovering around the zero mark, give or take a few degrees.

In the spirit of keeping it real, I have had photos taken at various places in my home, which is where I am most of the time, so no pretty backgrounds for me. Not interested in clothes? Skip forward to this week’s reading; I have a couple of great titles and one not-so-great title.

One Week Of Winter Outfits

Monday

This was Valentine’s Day, and it was also a teaching day, so I festively decided to wear my pink pants, which I bought in the 2016 Boxing Day sales; the tank and legwarmers are even older than that. The long-sleeved top is new, purchased online, and this was its debut. Regrets, I have them. The trouble with online shopping is that it’s so hard to tell what an item is going to look like. I expected this to be at least waist-length, but it barely covers my ribcage, not that I’m going to wear it without a tank underneath, but still. It’s short. It’s also really open in the back:

It turned out to be comfortable to teach in, but I would only wear this in a class with female students; I prefer a bit of coverage for the few older men that are in my Thursday class. So that I didn’t freeze for the rest of the day, I put on this tunic that I bought at Jacob many years ago, Jacob having gone out of business in 2015. I love this tunic, and I love these super-tall boots – they zip up the side so I get the funkiness of laces without the bother of laces.

Tuesday

I don’t normally have class on Tuesdays, but I was teaching a one-off for a friend, and so I put on this, which is one of my very favourite outfits. The sweater and legwarmers are so cozy, and I love the light grey long-sleeve top for extra coverage while teaching.

Plus, polka dots!

Wednesday

Wednesday is Grocery Day, and it was quite cold, so I layered up. I think I bought this sweater in about 2013 or 2014, and it’s still in great shape. The most sustainable fashion pieces are the ones that last forever, in my humble opinion.

The kitchen is my habitat for a good portion of the day, and a good portion of that portion sees me chopping vegetables. Please note that my hair matches my wall colour quite nicely; THAT is how you coordinate, people.

Thursday

I teach on Thursdays, so I slipped on this long cardigan to match the stripes in my tank top. I teach in a very chilly community centre, so I put on a long-sleeved tee and legwarmers. For fun I added my mala made for me by my friend Amy (HI AMY), although I’d never wear it to teach – the risk of getting smacked in the face is way too high.

All of these pieces are at least five to seven years old, but I think that the leggings and tee are much, much older. The tee is from Jacob and I’m sure I wore it in our annual family photo in the fall of 2010.

Friday

An outing! I had an outing that wasn’t a class OR groceries! I took the car for an oil change. You only live once, people.

This sweater and these jeans are fairly new. I love the cozy warmth and the fit of the sweater, and it’s so soft. I have it layered with a long-sleeve tee underneath, naturally.

Jeans! I have things to say. So, in the last six months or so, my body has changed. I am not going to tell you in what way it has changed, nor will I assign a value – positive or negative – to that change, but I am going to tell you that my jeans, purchased in 2014-15 no longer fit the way I wanted them to. I no longer felt cute or comfortable in them. I bought these jeans, and another pair, last Black Friday online, which sounds more bold than it really was, as I had tried on jeans from that store, Bootlegger, only a month prior. I am SO happy with them. They are a perfect fit, and they feel great.

I am not interested in judging changes to body shape, either my own or someone else’s. Body shapes change, and that is a neutral statement, it is not something we need to celebrate or condone. It just IS. And sometimes, that means new jeans.

This is my reading chair, where I spend a lot of my non-kitchen time. Please note cute and fuzzy companion, where he spends a lot of his time.

Saturday

I spent most of Saturday afternoon – surprise! – in the kitchen.

Very long time readers will recall my gig as a food writer over at YMC – all my recipes can be found here, if you’re interested – and at my time there, I amassed a number of very cute aprons, of which this was one. Also, shout-out to my Lee Valley apple corer/ peeler. I baked a pie for the boys, riffing on Jessica Seinfeld’s recipe for apple blackberry, and I am always grateful not to cripple up my hands peeling apples. Look at how silly it turned out!

Doesn’t it look like it’s winking and sticking it’s tongue out? Sassy thing.

Anyway, during my non-baking hours, I wore my other pair of new jeans, along with a black sweater over the stretchy grey top. Comfy and cute, and I actually had my hair down. The girl who cuts my hair chided me, saying that wearing it in a bun all the time causes breakage, and I promised her I would try to wear it down more often, which means, apparently, once a week.

Sunday

For me, Sunday is a day for long walks and cooking, and so jeans, a long warm tee (from Jacob again! RIP Jacob), and a nice thick black sweater from the Gap was just the ticket. These are the jeans I bought that ended up having too much stretch to them, and so I always wear a long shirt to cover up the inevitable sagging that occurs by early afternoon.

You can probably deduce for yourself that my general esthetic is a) lots of layers, b) cozy and comfortable pieces that I’ve had for many years, and c) black and grey. It works for my life, which may not include trips to St. Barth’s (YET), but is pretty cheery and pleasant nonetheless.

Pandemic Reading

The Art of Forgetting. Hmm. Well. I went in with decent expectations, as I’ve read a few books by this author – one last week! – and I have enjoyed them. However, this was…not good. I found the characters unlikeable and there was just so much about body weight, dieting, and “getting fat” talk. It was like Mean Girls, but grown up, and not funny. The author tried to tie together traumatic brain injury with empowering yourself, but most of the time I just found myself reading with a furrowed brow. Not great for my facial lines, save yourselves the trouble.

The Choice. Wow! This book! I cannot say enough about this incredibly inspiring memoir. The author is a Holocaust survivor, and she’s still alive today; she wrote this book at age 90. She was imprisoned at Auschwitz at age 16, and from there was marched to a number of work camps, and then subjected to the Death March and was found in a pile of bodies at the end of the war by American soldiers. She was an accomplished dancer and gymnast – she was cut from the Olympic team because she was Jewish – but when she was found after the war, she needed to learn how to walk again, she was so broken. Not only did she survive, but she thrived, immigrating to America with nothing, and building her way up to become a renowned psychologist, working with patients with traumatic stress disorders. This book is nothing short of incredible.

The Gift. This book was written after The Choice, and is more self-help than memoir. It is a wonderful book about seeing your darkest moments as your greatest teacher. It is inspiring and empowering.

How do you feel about fashion? Do you love getting dressed in the morning or is it a chore? I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into my clothing life and, by extension, my home! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Hygge-Chaka, Hygge-Hygge-Hygge-Chaka Edition

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I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me, January you just don’t realize what you do to me…when you are cold but it’s getting more light you let me know everything’s all right…

Ever since I read The Little Book of Hygge, I’ve been a bit obsessed with the concept: winter in Calgary is long, and being intentional about being cozy fits the bill. This January has been all over the map, weather-wise, from extreme cold to pretty mild, but windy days.

Some of the things featured in this month’s Favourite Things have been featured in previous Favourite Things; because of that, I had some doubts. Should I continue with Favourite Things if I’m repeating them? Should I press myself to continue with this monthly feature if I’m just going to write about the same things over and over? Do I have no new ideas for anything and is it all for nothing? Nothing, I say???

What can I say, we are in a global pandemic. Dark moments, even about silly blog features, happen. Originally I started Favourite Things with items that I had recently purchased, and now I just like to celebrate the things I like. Apparently, some of these things deserve celebration OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Celebrate the good things! Right? There are no RULES to Favourite Things other than being things that I love that month. There’s no LAW I can’t write about bum warmers over and over. THERE IS NO LAW.

Anyway. This month it is all the things that make me feel hygge. If you can’t feel hygge in January, when can you? Well, if you live in Calgary, there are plenty of opportunities, but I digress.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Hygge-Chaka Hygge-Hygge-Chaka Edition

All The Sweaters, All The Time

I follow a number of fashion blogs, several of which are in California, one in Texas, and one in Florida. The latter blogger once mentioned that she had two sweaters for cooler temperatures, and when I read that, I stared into the distance for a while. Two! I can’t even imagine a world in which I didn’t have a sweater on for nine months of the year. Nine months AT MINIMUM. I have an enormous collection of sweaters: some are light, for mildly cold days, and some could be considered a cold-weather jacket for warmer climates.

Bonus: fuzzy slippers and fuzzy dog, both hygge.

I wear a lot of long cardigans, especially on teaching days when I need to strip down to only two layers (yoga tank and long sleeve tee) for class, without ruining my hair. If I’m not teaching, I wear pullover sweaters with layers underneath. Always, always layers. I can’t think of a single instance wherein I would have a sweater on without at least a tee or tank underneath.

Warm Up That Booty

I have mentioned bum warmers so many times, but they deserve a mention for their place in the hygge lifestyle. A local woman makes these out of thrifted sweaters, and they are just so cute and snuggly.

I have three that I alternate between, but this one is my current favourite as it’s a little bit longer. The other two have matching mittens, but this one goes nicely with my battery-powered heated mittens.

She’s Got Legs, She Knows How To Warm Them

Bums aren’t the only thing that need warming! I wear legging-style yoga pants most days, and those thin pants are just not enough for warmth. On teaching days I wear fitted, stirrup-style legwarmers to keep me warm in that cold, cold community centre; the floor is linoleum over concrete, and it is VERY cold, even in the spring and fall.

Years ago my mother-in-law knitted me several pairs of legwarmers, and they are incredibly thick and cozy. I wear them for walks on days that are cold, but not cold enough for snow pants.

They are too heavy to wear indoors or while teaching but perfect for walking. Options! It’s good to have them.

Sock It To Me

On non-teaching-but-still-wearing-yoga-pants days, I like to wear super-long socks as an extra layer. I have a number of pairs, mostly in black or charcoal.

It takes me a significant amount of time to get dressed in the morning.

It’s Tea Time, Bitches.

One of the interesting things, reading about hygge culture, is that Denmark is a huge consumer of coffee. Me too, Denmark, me too.

The very first thing I do every morning, before I drink two glasses of water, before I wash my face and brush my teeth, before ANYTHING at all, is start the coffee pot. I drink essentially a pot of black coffee every morning and I am not ashamed to admit it. The coffee is not strong, I just like a lot of it. Don’t worry: I drink a ton of water every day too, about 4 litres a day, so I am pretty hydrated and also, yes, I do have to use the bathroom a lot. Sometimes I’ll meet someone who doesn’t drink coffee and never has, and I will be in awe, wondering what that’s like.

Anyway, I have developed a Tea Ritual in the afternoon. When you drink an entire pot of coffee before 8:30 in the morning, you probably don’t need more caffeine in your life. I mean, you do you, but I don’t need more caffeine in my life. However, I like a nice warm drink in the afternoon as sort of a break in my (not-so-busy) schedule. It’s a little treat to look forward to, choosing an herbal tea from my massive stockpile and sipping.

Remember this mug? Leanne sent it to me (HI LEANNE) in the Secret Santa Mug Swap, and it is absolutely perfect for an afternoon cuppa. It’s the perfect size and shape, and it makes me feel cozy and hygge just looking at it, let alone drinking from it.

Girl Put Your Apron On, Tell Me Your Favourite Song

You know what is super hygge? Baking delicious things!

I kind of combined two recipes, and made some changes to end up with this pumpkin swirl loaf, which turned out to be super delicious. The boys asked me if I EVER follow a recipe exactly and I had to really think about it. Pie crust! I never deviate from a pie crust recipe because, let’s face it, pie crust is a bitch to make.

Here’s a Happy Homemaker Hint for you: when rolling out pie crust, roll it between two pieces of wax paper. Take off the top one, and just flip it over onto the pie pan, and peel off the bottom layer. It’s so much easier, although it can still stick and make you swear.

Anyone who knows me knows I despise pie, particularly apple – it’s a grievous waste of good apples! – but I lovingly make them for my family. Well, lovingly and swearingly; as you can see, I had to do some crust patching. Ah well, the whole thing lasted less than 24 hours, so I guess no one cares about esthetics.

Those are my favourite things for this chilly month of January; things that make me feel all the hygge. What are your favourite things? xo