As we are speeding through the last month of 2023, I wanted to talk about some of the five-star things that have been absolute gifts this year, for body, mind, and soul.
- I do not consider myself a book snob at all, although my husband thinks that I am one. What I have noticed, though, is that what I consider a five-star book and what Goodreads patrons consider a five-star book are two very different things. It’s gotten so that I will not read any review on Goodreads, because I will inevitably be irritated or incensed, depending on my own feelings. How could anyone rate that five stars? I’ll think crabbily, and then I’ll be enraged that someone gave a book I loved two stars. I keep a spreadsheet on which I record my books and my own rating out of five; I am pretty loosey-goosey with my ratings. I have a friend who will never rate a book five stars unless it was in the same caliber of writing as Maya Angelou and James Baldwin, and she thinks that a three-star read would be one she liked and would reread, whereas in my mind a three-star is a meh, it was okay read. For me, a five-star is something I loved, with gorgeous writing and characters, and something I would reread more than once. It’s a feeling, is what I’m saying, it is more of a qualitative rating. In any case, I read a lot of good books this year – and it’s not over yet, maybe there will be more! Here they all are, and I did not link anything because I thought, hey, if you want to you can look them up. Five Star Books In 2023: In A New York Minute, Nora Goes Off Script, Girls They Write Songs About, The Marriage Portrait, The Glass Hotel, All Along You Were Blooming, Fleishmann Is In Trouble, Yellowface, Foreverland: On The Divine Tedium of Marriage, The Paper Palace, Swipe Up For More!, Romantic Comedy, You Think It I’ll Say It, Bel Canto, The Dutch House.
- As I said, if I love a book, I will reread it, sometimes many times. This year, I revisited old favourites, most of which reside on my forever bookshelf. Some of these rereads were because of the move, and my inability to access the library for so long, but some of them were just because I wanted to reread them, or I needed a comfort read as a palate cleaner. Five Star Rereads: Dear Life, Carnival of Snackery, Hateship Friendship Courtship Loveship, My Name Is Lucy Barton, Anything Is Possible, Oh William!, Calypso, I Feel Bad About My Neck, Emma, These Precious Days.
- Five Star Clothing and Beauty Products: I have mentioned this many times, but I cannot get enough of my Mott and Bow jeans. Listen, the perimenopausal body goes through a lot of changes, some of which cause clothing to fit differently than before. Life is an incredible journey and one that sees a great deal of change in the physical body, as well as in the mental, emotional, and spiritual ones. These jeans have been good for all four. Speaking of changes, well, everyone knows how strongly I feel about Nutrafol, which has helped in my hair loss, but I also have to give huge shoutouts to Neutrogena’s Retinol Plus, and Maybelline’s new product The Falsies Surreal. This seems like the next big step in my mascara evolution. I always feel amazed that there are people who just…don’t wear makeup. Makeup and hair are such a huge part of my life, even if I don’t leave the house, even if I am alone in the house. This could indicate a vanity problem. I embrace my vanity problem. I feel like my vanity problem is actual self-care.
- Five Star Podcasts: Podcasts are as subjective as books, and there are so many that I feel like there is something for everyone. I am a person who likes to listen to lighthearted, chatty podcasts mixed in with the occasional science or health one. This year I started listening to The Deep Dive, and never have I felt so seen. As mentioned above, I am a vain person, but the ladies on the Deep Dive like to talk about “working from the outside in,” saying that sometimes, if you work on your physical appearance, it can make your inner self feel better. It’s very tongue-in-cheek and I am here for it. I love how they start with a topic like nail polish, and suddenly it becomes a deep and soulful discussion about caring for yourself. Another podcast I love is Were You Raised By Wolves, which is just delightful and tackles problems of modern etiquette in the most entertaining way. I know what you’re thinking: a podcast about modern etiquette? Yes. A limited-run podcast that I loved was Wilder, about Laura Ingalls Wilder – there was nothing new or surprising to us true, hardcore fans, but it was so great to listen to.
- Five Star Friends: Sometimes I cannot believe how incredibly fortunate I am to have so many wonderful friends in my life. This year was a very stressful one, full of change and worry, and my beautiful friends have helped me so much. The Calgary friends who sent me off with much love, the friend who offered to be the point person there during the chaos of the move, our friends who hosted my husband for weeks when he had to go back to finish work, the friends who all called to check in on me when I was at a breaking point, my Kelowna friends who welcomed me with open arms and helped ease the transition on so many levels, everyone who sent cards and gifts and bookmarks, friends who wrote to me and supported me through this blog. I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through all this change and turmoil without you, and I don’t think I can ever thank you enough. You’re the best. xo
I love these 5-star things! The makeup one really landed on me. I feel like I sometimes put no thought into what I look like on my work from home days to the detriment of sudden video calls that find me looking like the hot mess I woke up as. I have been wondering if some sort of morning ritual might not only solve for that, but also give me a boost of self care (and a legit “the day has started!” feeling) that might start my day in a different place!
Lindsay, I recently took a class and one of the video clips was a writer who talked about her process. She will not go into her office until she’s dressed and with makeup on, and then she is READY TO WORK. That really resonated with me. I feel like once I have my makeup on I am ready for my day, otherwise I feel scattered.
I love that you’re generous with your stars, Nicole! I’m like that too – I easily give 5 star ratings to books, audiobooks, etc. When I like something, I really like it! I rarely give under a 3, and if I do, I seriously hated the thing!
You, Nicole, are a 5 star friend! 😊
Yes, same! A three star is pretty meh and chances are if it goes below that, I am going to DNF. Not always though. Sometimes I push through and then wonder why.
Love this list, Nicole. It’s amazing how you manage to be so generous with praise and stringent with your standards at the same time <3. I think I'm going to start Nutrafol–is there a particular formulation that has been helpful?
Maya, yes, it’s the Women’s Balance formula. I took the “quiz” on their website and that was the one that suited my needs (see also: perimenopausal). Probably I didn’t need a quiz for that, but anyway, that’s what I use.
Thanks, Nicole! That’s the one I had my eye on! I wonder how I’m going to take four pills a day though…
Yeah, the four pills take some getting used to. I take them all in one swoop. Also, they have a weird aftertaste, which I got used to, but I have to mention it.
When it comes to Goodreads reviews, you and I are on the same wavelength. We’ve talked about it before…I am an eager five-star giver of things that make me feel joy. I love that you are as well.
I love that you have good friends that take care of you. That is a reflection of you, my friend. 😘
Thank you Kari!
Five stars to the joyful things in our lives! Yes!
I’m pretty generous with my 5-star ratings, too. I used to be super stingy and then I thought – why?? Giving 5 stars to a book is the best way to show that I really loved it. Our rating system is similar. 3 stars is on the spectrum of meh to ok. 2 stars is super meh. I don’t have many 2 stars reads because I usually abandon a book if it’s heading in the 2-star direction.
I’m tempted to check out the jeans you love so much!
I would enthusiastically give your blog 5 stars if I could!! You are a delight!!
You are RIGHT, I think I have only rated one book one star ever, because WHY KEEP READING. Actually, that book was the catalyst for me DNFing more often!
You’re so sweet, five stars right back at you!
I agree with Lisa, your blog is 5-stars (plus an entire package of gold star stickers on the side).
Awwww, my sweet friend! Thank you!
I started off on GR several years ago thinking 5-star books had to be life-changing, but I’ve gotten less stringent as I go on, partly because it’s really hard to tell what book is going to stay with you for decades until it’s been decades, so I was mostly giving 5s to re-reads, and that didn’t seem fair.
I am one of those people who never wears make up. North uses it occasionally and they’ve had to learn from internet what to wear and how to apply it because neither of their mothers has a clue.
*gets on plane with giant makeup bag, heads to Maryland* You know, that is the great thing about being a young person today – there are video tutorials for literally everything!
It’s so funny, I didn’t quite make that connection but YES, if I’m rereading it, chances are it’s a five star, and I’ve already tipped the balance!
My five star review of this post is that you were the reason that I revisited I Feel Bad About My Neck and listened to Wilder.
I don’t wear makeup but that’s largely due to eye allergies. I didn’t choose the natural look, the natural look chose me. But there was a time when I could not have imagined leaving the house without eye makeup. On the one hand I have hours back in my day from the time that I don’t spend on hair and makeup…but on the other hand having those hours back in my day is overrated.
Hahahaha Birchy! I have often wondered what I would do with that time that I use to put myself together – would I do anything? Or would I just stare into the mirror sadly? Who can say.
I love love love that you read and listened to those. SO GOOD.
Here’s to five star friends! I know that its times like your move where it really shows who is there for you for real. I was reading a book and it had a quote that I will probably butcher, but it was something like “loneliness is not being without anybody, it is being without anyone who really gets you.” I think that having people around who get you and who are there for you is so priceless.
I am starting to relax my GR ratings, as I used to never give 5 stars, as I felt that would be a perfect book that just could not be beat. However, now I would say 5 means loved it, 4 is really liked and 3 is like it was good but not great. I am like Lisa in that I rarely give 2 and basically never give 1 because I am WAY better at DNFing books now if they are that bad!
I am your opposite when it comes to beauty… I rarely do my hair or makeup and my idea of getting gussied up is pretty much showering and putting on mascara! 🙂 Can we still be friends?
Of COURSE we can still be friends, this just frees up more mascara and lipstick for my own personal use!
Yes, people who GET you are so important.
Yay! I feel similar about five-star books. They’re books that resonate with me and I will actively recommend widely, and will reread. I am relatively stingy with five stars, but I hand out 4 and 4.5 stars willy nilly if I like a book. I do not understand Goodreads reviewers at all and just chalk it up to the fact that my brain is different from the collective brain.
Do you ever see those people doing challenges like 30 days without makeup? Why would they do that to themselves? I mean, sure, there are people who never wear makeup and that’s awesome and I love that they have embraced the natural look. But this lady needs makeup to look awake and non-vampiric!!
LOLOLOL awake and non-vampiric is also my goal! I love makeup, full stop!
YES Engie, a five-star book is something that resonate and that you love! I think Goodreads reviewers are a world apart, I never agree with them, ever!
I need to get me some Falsies Surreal! If you love it, it’s a must buy.
And YES, these reads were also five stars for me: Nora Goes Off Script, The Marriage Portrait, The Glass Hotel. Five star twinsies!!!!
I think you recommended the Glass Hotel to me. It was so good and not at all what I expected! I loved it!
The Falsies Surreal is such a good mascara, and I find I need to use less of it to get a better result than with the Lash Lift. God bless Maybelline!
Wearing makeup is self care for you, and not wearing it is self care for me! And neither of us is right or wrong except for ourself. Do what works!
I don’t rate books but I wonder if I would like to do it? I’ll have to think about that.
C, you are 100% spot on! If no makeup is you, you do you! I love it.
You know, I have a Goodreads account and don’t think I’ve ever utilized it!
As for makeup and hair? Yes, definitely. Every damn day. A friend dropped by when I was doing some yard work – and looked like it – and at one point, she interrupted our conversation to say “Are you wearing mascara?!”
I will definitely be checking out that mascara as I have been less than satisfied with mine lately.
GIGI ME TOO! I always have mascara on. Always! I love this so much!
I think you’ll like that mascara, it’s so much bang for the buck!
I read my first Emily St. John Mandel books this fall (Station11 and Sea of Tranquility) and loved them. I actually watched Station 11 on HBO first, and was wowed by it. https://erinetheridge.substack.com/p/when-you-are-the-person
The Glass Hotel is on my list! I’m not sure how you’d feel about the others if you haven’t read them, since they have a hint of sci-fi sort of. But her writing is so beautiful, so human!
I think I loved the Glass Hotel BECAUSE it’s not sci-fi at all. I asked one of my girlfriends, who knows my taste to a tee, if I should read Station 11 and it was a resounding no. But I am going to go read YOUR thoughts on it! Right this second!
I always love a list of great recommendations! Thanks Nicole! I’ll be checking out the mascara and you know I have my eye on Nutrifol (sigh). I agree with your 5-star assessment for books. Unless there is a defined, offical rating system, I cannot trust other people’s ratings…
I can’t trust other’s ratings either UNLESS I know exactly what their taste is, and then I can kind of figure it out!
Oh yes, I am always so intrigued (and maybe jealous) of people who can wear NO makeup?! I apparently got a genetic short straw in that area because man, what I see when I look in the mirror in the morning with zero makeup of any kind of… ain’t too great. LOL. I at least need some concealer and maybe a little mascara to look human. I have always had terrible under eye circles since I was a kid.
I am sooo tempted to try Mott and Bow jeans. I actually think I ordered some several years ago and remember thinking the fabric was amazing. But for whatever reason they didn’t work- maybe the length was off? I can’t remember. And then I am not sure what happened, but I guess I never reordered the correct size or something. The ads stalk me on Facebook… haha. I have my eye on their plain grey/white/black t-shirts also. The V-neck ones. I need to replace some basic tees and those look nice. They have some kind of bundle where you can get like 2 t-shirts + jeans for a “special” price I think. I should look at that again today!!
Kae, I think we are probably similar sizing and height? You look to be similar to me anyway. And with them you can choose the length! I recommend this for you because you’re in the States so you aren’t fighting exchange rate and you’d probably get free shipping (I have to pay international, which is $$$$). I have been intrigued by those tees as well. But do I need more expensive things from the States? Probably not BUT I AM INTRIGUED.
I hear you on the makeup. My non-makeup face is…not great?
if you hate Goodreads (I agree!), maybe you would like this website instead: https://shepherd.com/. Authors create lists of books they loved, so, if you like an author, you can see what books inspired them! Or, you can just browse the categories. Full disclosure: My book is on there, along with my list, but it still seems like a fun idea.
What I do instead of wearing makeup is get lost on the internet, apparently 😉
Oh, thank you Kay! I am going to look into that right now! And what is your book, why haven’t I read it yet???
I have a Goodreads account that I put an hour or two into when I first started it, lo those many years ago, and now I ignore it completely. Of the books you and I have in common on your lists, I also LOVED the ones you mention, so I suspect we have similar taste in books. Which is definitely great!
I start work in my walking clothes, and then take a shower a couple of hours into my work day, and get dressed then. Most days I wear makeup, though lately I’m trying to be kinder to myself and not wear it sometimes. For me, I feel like NEEDING makeup is an insecurity of sorts, so testing that by going without is a good challenge. There have surely been MANY DECADES where I wore makeup every single day. Seeing my daughter not wear it when she doesn’t have to has actually given me a bit of confidence in this area, which is a joke because she is 27 and I am 57 and her skin is flawless and she is half Indian and has amazing natural eyelashes. So there’s that.
Ah, to have flawless skin and amazing natural eyelashes! What must that be like?
I never read a novel twice but I’ve read some of Sedaris’ books multiple times because they crack me up, like Holidays on Ice. Like you, I always wear makeup and fix up my hair. I’m super vain. I even put makeup on right after giving birth 🤣 When you look good, you feel good!!!
All my podcasts are about nutrition, music, and reality TV. I have weird passions!
I read at least The Santaland Diaries and Dinah, The Christmas Whore EVERY YEAR, BIJOUX! I hear you. Calypso especially is a favourite of mine.
Dinah, The Christmas Whore and Next of Kin are my two fave stories of his. So freaking hilarious! I also love the Halloween one.
In the one where he’s learning French, I love the line “Santa didn’t USED to be anything”
Love the book recommendations. I usually like the ones that you highly recommend and I so appreciate that.
Good friends make all the difference. I’m glad you have such a great group. I wonder if those jeans are available in the US. I’ll have to google them.
Those jeans are American! So they would be a way better deal for you than me, since I have to pay exchange rate and shipping!
Vanity as self care! Brilliant! I don’t think you are a book snob,– I love how you know what you love and you love it no matter the author, genre, etc.
Thank you Sarah! I do love what I love! *goes to reread Sweet Valley High*
I am busy noting down all your 5 star books and podcasts! I have read so many of your book mentions but only a couple of your faves. I have been listening to a podcast called Appearances. It’s quite good and very different. I heard about it on CBC -it’s kind of like a play; a 9 part series, a mix of fact and fiction about an Iranian American woman. As I said, it’s different but I’m really enjoying it.
Oh, that IS different but that sounds interesting! I am going to look into that right now!
Love these lists and while I’ve read most of your favourites I have some to catch up #booktwin! I feel like I wake up when I wear make up – if I don’t have it on I’m tired and unmotivated- it somehow puts me in more of a work mode – even if I’m not at work, so to speak!
Anna, ME TOO. We are not only book twins, we are makeup twins!
I think we are similar in the way we review books. I am not very stingy about my 5-star ratings – if I loved a book, that’s good enough for me! Speaking of Goodreads, though, I do love it for reading scathing reviews of books I also didn’t like, especially if it’s popular and has a high star rating on Goodreads. It makes me feel so much better to find my people, haha.
Stephany, I know exactly what you mean, but so often I will dislike a book and then…find it’s exclusively rated five stars on goodreads. It makes me feel alone in my reading! Lol! I’ll think “why did no one else hate this book?”
Nicole, you are one of the brightest lights on the interwebs.
Thank you. <3
(Now can I confess that I never wear makeup, know that I look not-so-great, and generally shrug off the "maybe I should make some minimal effort" thoughts? *ducks*)
Oh gosh, whatever works for you! I would never imply that anyone should do anything with regards makeup, etc. I just love it for myself!
Thank you for such a sweet compliment. xoxo