TIME CHANGE, AM I RIGHT?
It feels like every single March we are all stumbling around for a week like zombies, children crying and pets confused, people getting into accidents, all for something that is completely made up and useless. Every single March we are all shaking our fists at the people who could do something about this, but don’t. There are places in the world that do not change time, WE COULD BE LIKE THAT.
I wonder if, along with feeling furious about time change, every single March I will also think about the start of the pandemic. It has been exactly three years to the day since the First Pandemic Lockdown, and wow, what a weird time that was. At times I find it hard to believe what it was like, what we did, and all the strange things that started to feel just normal. Did we really not go anywhere at all? Did we really feel guilty if we forgot something at the grocery store and had to go out for a second time in less than a week? Was there really no toilet paper on the shelves? Did we really feel constantly panicked if another person got within our six-foot bubbles? Did I really come home after buying groceries and just sit and stare into space for a while? It was such a strange, disturbing time. I mean, some people were disinfecting their groceries and leaving them in a separate room for 48 hours before putting them away. Not me though; that was a bridge way too far.
Just before the Big Lockdown, my life was so busy, and although we had heard about this novel coronavirus in the news, I didn’t really think it would change anything for me or in my life. I was teaching ten classes a week, I was preparing for our spring break trip to Mexico, and I was frantically going to parent meetings and doing last minute fundraising for my younger son’s West Coast sailing trip, that he had been looking forward to for three years. Cue the ominous music; you already know how those vacation plans turned out. But at that time, I thought that other than needing to stock up on my husband’s blood pressure medication, all this in the news would turn out to be a whole lot of nothing.
Only a few days before March 13, 2020, two things happened that made me wonder if something was indeed about to affect me personally.
First, one of my students in Seniors’ Yoga approached me before class. This student was, and is, a Professor Emeritus in Epidemiology at the university. She cautioned me about my upcoming trip to Mexico, saying that I may want to reconsider. Of course I listened to her opinion, and although I still thought at that time I would go, her words did stay with me.
The second thing was my monthly coffee date with my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) who is also a professor at the university, in chemistry. Nicole seemed very concerned with my Mexico trip as well, asking if I had access to a kitchen (I did not, it was a resort I was headed to) and generally giving off a Very Worried Vibe. She also mentioned that the university was going to close down, and there were rumblings that the schools would too. I was in disbelief about this; schools CLOSING? There was no way that could happen! That would be a disaster!
Honestly, it was a disaster, wasn’t it? Of all the pandemic mitigation strategies, I think that closing the schools was the worst. I remember feeling absolutely devastated that our schools were now closed indefinitely; I still think that the damage to our children and young people was extensive and will be long-lasting, from an educational, developmental, and mental health point of view. Online schooling, while it was the best possible option at the time, was just so detrimental in so many ways, particularly for children in vulnerable situations or in underserved communities. It was terribly detrimental to my own children, who are in no way underserved or vulnerable, and who have all the privilege in the world. We all need to be around peers, physically, and this is especially true for the young.
I often think that the pandemic was a zero-sum game; in order for one thing to be taken care of, other things had to give way. Of course we as a society have to care for each other; as of right now, nearly seven million people have died from Covid, and who knows how many people have been disabled or have had their quality of life severely impacted by the virus. There is absolutely no way to say what those numbers would have been like had there been no mitigation measures.
That said, the mitigation measures themselves have had harsh consequences; hence, my zero-sum game theory. It’s not just an entire generation of youth who have been developmentally stunted in some way, I also often think of the global mental health decline, the vast number of suicides and increased dependence on substances, the loss of people’s livelihoods and the decimation of entire industries. Clearly, we were – and are – all doing our best, everyone was just dealing with ever-changing information and regulations, but wow. What an awful and divisive time. I think it’s going to take a long time to heal in this new era that we have entered. Are we in a post-pandemic state? Covid is still around, people are still falling ill, but are we still considered to be in a global pandemic? I have no idea.
I have spoken before about psychological long Covid, but something else occurred to me this week. Back in the 70s, a comedian who shall remain nameless had a bit about cocaine usage, a pretend dialogue with a cocaine user. “It intensifies your personality.” “Yes, but what if you’re an asshole?” It seems to me that the pandemic, like cocaine, has intensified my personality. In some ways, that’s fine, perhaps even good, but in others, it is not great, Bob.
One thing I have noticed is that my dependence on routine and rituals for comfort has become less of a charming, cozy groove and more of a rut. I am a person who has always been quite regimented in my day-to-day life; I thrive with a routine, I love knowing what I’m doing on any given day. When the pandemic hit I took great comfort in creating new daily routines and rituals, and for the most part, I think they have been greatly beneficial. However. I think my comfortable routine is starting to veer into the “unhealthy dependence” category.
Don’t get me wrong; I happily give and accept invitations for visits, social events, and meals when possible. I enjoy all of those things but every invitation is met with momentary internal mental gymnastics – but I do X on that day! – and I am really, really working on changing this. I don’t want to be like Homer Simpson when Marge had plans on Saturday night. “Saturday night! But that’s our special night! What’s so special about…oh, I don’t know. A little so-called Dr. Quinn? Medicine Woman?”
I think the pandemic has tamped down my sense of adventure, which may have happened anyway with age – who’s to say? – and I don’t like it. It’s not like I’m turning things down, but I have moments of hesitation and worry about my schedule disruption, and I don’t want those moments to get any bigger, or to become consequential. There is a lot of joy and satisfaction in my ordinary day-to-day life, yes, but the memories I cherish stem from times that I broke out of my routine, when something new or different happened, when I travelled or saw a friend or experienced something I hadn’t before. I don’t want to live my life just plodding along, every week the same; I want to be able to appreciate my comfortable routine by breaking it, and then coming back. I want to reignite my adventurous self, while still finding daily joys in ordinary things. I need to spread my wings and find adventures where I can.
First, though, I need to get caught up on sleep. TIME CHANGE. Good lord, when will this madness end?
Weekly Reading
You Just Need To Lose Weight. Maintenance Phase is such a good podcast, and the co-host, Aubrey Gordon, is such a smart and articulate woman. This is her second book and it is educational, illuminating, and important. It will make you think about language we use and it’s implication, as well as the biases we as a society hold.
Dial A For Aunties. Omg, this was such a cute and funny book! It’s part slapstick comedy, part mystery, part romance, part love letter to the author’s mom and aunties. What happens when a woman accidentally kills a blind date? Her aunties help her with the body! But the family wedding business has a big event upcoming and putting the corpse in a cake cooler was not the best idea. This was so silly and funny and if you need a laugh and a light read, this book is for you!
The Summer I Turned Pretty. I read this whole series when the guys were in Alaska in 2019, and so when I saw this at the library I thought I’d give it a reread. Fun fact about reading a YA romance when you’re 47? You really empathize with the parents.
My friend Lee (HI LEE) posted this on Facebook and I felt that this really sums up how I feel after time change:
All right, time to gear up for the week! Take care, friends! xo
Yeah, Nicole–such a sluggish, confusing time–both DST and that first year of the pandemic. In retrospect, how nice that you had two experts gently prepare you for the surreal first days. It really resonated when you wrote about feeling exhausted at the end of a grocery shopping trip. Same!
I got into the habit of disinfecting groceries and pre-washing produce in the pandemic–and I’ve continued those practices though. I kind of like knowing other people’s sticky finger prints and whatever aerosols are not floating about in my pantry and fridge.
Oh, I do wash my produce! I feel like I should really say that! Otherwise…ew. But in terms of disinfecting groceries, I was worried if I started to go down that road that I wouldn’t be able to stop, and it would get really dark really fast. Do you know what I mean? So I just try to shrug off the…ew…particles!
Maya, me too! At first I was like I cannot wait to shed every vestige of hygiene theater and then I was like but wait! My pantry is so pleasing without cardboard boxes everywhere, and we eat so much more produce when it is prepped and waiting.
Oof the time change is hitting hard this year. All I want to do is go back to bed.
Everytime I would hear about COVID in early 2020 my thought was always “wow, people are freaking out about nothing”. I definitely was in the camp that did not see it coming.
I love Aubrey Gordon and Maintenance Phase! I’ll be checking out her book as soon as I can get to it.
“It’s just a flu” – and then, bam.
I enjoyed Gordon’s first book more than this one, but this one was very enlightening and made me really think about language that we use.
You say about yourself that you depend “on routine and rituals for comfort… I am a person who has always been quite regimented in my day-to-day life; I thrive with a routine….” I believe you, but I’ll admit that I wish I was more like that. In fact I fretted about that very thing last week, wishing I was more regimented and hoping that the change of time on Sunday would nudge me [force me] into being so. Don’t you think there should be a place where we could meet in the middle?
I do think that it would be great to have some middle ground, Ally! I have my fingers crossed for you that time change will give you the boost you are looking for! xoxoxo
Oh this resonated so with me! My Timehop app is full of screenshots of my work building closing in 2020 and school closing and all my posts about “2 weeks”… It’s hard to build momentum back towards doing things and going on adventures and all that when it’s still out there lurking. But, just like the time change, adaptation will come, I’m guessing (hoping)!
I hope so too, Lindsay! I remember someone saying something about restrictions in the summer, and I thought – the summer! It can’t go on that long! The joke was on me.
Nicole, I’m still bitter about the fact that my son had to miss his SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. He’s moved on- I’m still upset about it. Hard to believe it all started three years ago.
Yes, I’m a very routine-oriented person! I try hard not to fall into a rut, but to a lot of people my life probably still looks very unadventurous.
After all my complaining about the time change, it didn’t bother me as much this year- except for the fact that I had to run in the pitch dark (how is this a good thing???). I’m surprised Canada hasn’t done away with DST already- i know our “government” is trying to abolish it, but that will probably take another couple hundred years.
I am so grateful my sons didn’t miss their senior years. I think that would have been awful and you have my full sympathy, Jenny. I remember a friend telling me about her daughter getting into a very elite science program at a pretty prestigious university. Only 60 kids a year were accepted. And…she had to do her first year, at home, in her parents’ basement. It makes me sad to think about it.
I don’t have to be anywhere in particular today so I counted it as a win that I was only sitting down to breakfast about 20 minutes later than usual. In my experience though, sometimes I think I’m all acclimated to the new time and I regress. So, we’ll see. (Or should I say TIME will tell?)
You’re right, online school was hard, harder on my youngest than my eldest, even though it felt like he was missing out on more (more than a year of college completed at home).
BTW, I’m working on a covid update with the same title as yours. You don’t mind, do you?
Of course I don’t mind, and I look very much forward to reading it!
Online school was so awful for us. My younger son is very extroverted and you could just see his spirit slipping as he spent hours a day on his laptop in his room, trying to do “school.”
This made me chuckle because of the way I took your “here and there” title…
@StephLove
Ugh, the time change. Now that I have young kids, I prefer springing ahead to falling back. Gaining an hour of parenting? No thank you! The kids have adapted to the time change pretty well so far. I am extra tired so am glad I napped on both Sat and Sun.
It’s weird to think we are at the 3-year anniversary of the pandemic. My entire pregnancy was during the pandemic – I got pregnant in March of 2020. Many of my relationships will be forever changed because of the pandemic… we were very careful since I am immune compromised and I was pregnant and some people did not agree with our decision to be so careful… So the pandemic was basically a crash course in setting boundaries which is something I was TERRIBLE at doing before. Pre-pandemic, and especially pre-kids, I over-commited and said yes to way more than I should have. Now I am protective of my time. I like my schedule and I can only handle so many social plans in a given week. Ideally one week night commitment and one weekend commitment. Those are kind of my “rules” – I will “break” the “rules” but it’s helpful for me to have guidelines about what I will or won’t say yes to.
As hard as it was to be trapped at home with our young kids, I think that was easier than having kids in school. Like what if Paul was in kindergarten when schools went remote? I can not see him learning much and he’s not very conducive to learning from us… I’ll never know if Will’s stranger danger is because he didn’t see many people for much of his infancy or if that’s just his nature. I am very glad we were able to be out and about starting last spring/summer. We need to go places and do things on the weekend or we lose our minds. So I am glad that is an option for us now!
Lisa, I can’t imagine how scary it would have been for the immunocompromised. I was lucky in that most of my circle was similar to me in the rules that we followed, etc. I think it would be hard to have a really divided family or friend circle.
Online learning for high school students was absolutely dreadful. I will never forget my son, doing “phys ed” in the confines of his room. The teachers did the absolute best they could, but it is such a terrible way to learn.
The non-dead plant is amazing. So relatable.
I hear you. I hear you. I feel like the past few years have intensified MY personality as well, and I am even more germ averse than I was prior to Covid and even less comfortable in social situations. I wonder if those things will ever go away, or if they are simply Who I Am now.
The time change is the worst. I say, dragging massive luggage around under my eyeballs and feeling stare-y and exhausted.
My friend, I get it! I used to get so excited, planning outings and trips, and now I really have moments of hesitation and worry. Is this who I am? I don’t know.
I was one of those people who quarantined groceries — until we were vaccinated. We were so scared and there was so much uncertainty. I frequently reflect on how much we lost, especially young people and, I think, older folks. I always felt, for myself, that I could adapt to Zoom and I would have plenty of time after it was over (better?) to go back to whatever I lost. I do wonder, however, if my increased anxiety is pandemic related, or is this what menopause looks like for me? Both? I often wonder what (fill in challenging circumstance) would have been like without the pandemic.
Dial ‘A’ for Aunties is such a fun book. Four Aunties and a Wedding was also fun, but I liked the first one better.
Take care this week as we adjust our internal clocks and catch up on some sleep!
Well, Chrisoula, that is exactly the thing! We can’t know what life would look like now for us without the pandemic (i.e., menopause). I have a lot of friends with anxiety who have really suffered. It was such a scary time. I feel the same way as you – if it was just ME, I would adjust and be fine. But it is just awful for young people and for the elderly.
I didn’t know about Four Aunties and a Wedding – well, I’m going to put that on my list immediately!
Thanks for your honesty about the aftermath of Covid. I’m with you and I still feel sad for the high school kids and college kids who missed out on very memorable years that they will never get back. So many once in a lifetime events and trips that were cancelled. We had to cancel my son’s wedding reception (August 2020) and have still never met my daughter-in-law’s parents (they live in China).
I don’t personally feel that the pandemic changed how I currently live, but my husband still refuses to fly. Not because of fearing illness, but because of the constant flight changes and cancellations that have occurred since the pandemic. It’s put a real damper on our travel plans.
Oh, that is a very interesting point about flying. It has changed how we have travelled – we still fly, but I will not check luggage again. Too many mixups and losses. The flight changes and cancellations are very difficult and disorienting for sure.
I’m so sorry about your son’s wedding! And how sad not to have met her parents.
Today is my mom’s bday. I always remember the day everything shut down. It felt so unreal and I assumed temporary. There were so many things that I could not have fathomed. I agree the pandemic took a toll on the youth. Socially and academically- I notice things with my own kids.
Last week we had an ordeal that was very emotional and distracting, so I had not really thought about the time change. For some reason I was thinking we would get an hour. Well- that sucked.
Oh noooooo….that’s like thinking it’s Thursday when it’s really Tuesday. Bummer.
I honestly think the youth will be paying for this in so many ways, for years to come.
I’m with you – I wish so much that we could stop changing the time back and forth!! The pandemic really intensified my introverted tendencies. I have no interest in gatherings, going out to eat, or traveling – things that I actually did enjoy in small quantities before the pandemic. It was also very stressful because I had some medical issues not related to Covid, and my husband wasn’t allowed to come into appointments or procedures with me – not even into the waiting room. I think it’s really good and helpful to talk about these things.
Michelle, that is so stressful. I’m sorry you had to go through that. For me, I didn’t have anything like that but I do remember my son going for orthodontist adjustments when it was opened again, and I had to sign virtual waivers, send him in, and wait in the car.
I hope your medical issues are resolved and that you are doing better. xo
The time change is so frustrating! Everyone hates it, we don’t want to do it, but no one is powerful enough to change it. The bill in the US congress is now dead, so there’s nothing to even hope for.
Have you noticed that the pandemic has been creeping into books more and more? 3 years in, authors have been able to finish their pandemic books and get them published. It would be odd to having a book set in 2020+ without mentioning it, but I’m finding I’m not really ready to read about it. It’s too soon, and we all experienced it; I don’t want to relive it. Honestly I haven’t thought too much about it, since having a 2-year-old home and a kindergartener doing online school, while trying to work at home (while my husband had to leave the house to keep doing his job) is something that broke my brain.
I think you articulated the routine rut so well. I see a lot of my work colleagues stuck in this rut, afraid to come out – not that I blame them, there’s a lot of collective trauma here – but at some point the world may very well leave you behind. I’ve been trying to do at least one thing out in the world every month, and you’re right, those are the memories that have stuck with me the most from this year.
Oh Sarah, I really feel for you. Two little ones and trying to work at home…my god, that is just brutal. I have noticed the uptick in pandemic writing – but also, I have noticed that there are a lot of light, joyful books that were written DURING the pandemic, that the author will say in the acknowledgements that she (I generally read women, so she) was writing something escapist to take her mind off the pandemic. Have you seen that as well? I did read a book that I absolutely loathed that took place in the early days of the pandemic, and sometimes it’s hard to remember how terrifying everything was.
It was such an odd time. I feel fortunate in that I don’t really think it affected me, but no doubt so many people were. As many commented, kids and the elderly became so isolated. It sounds like you are working at not being too stuck in your self-proclaimed ruts – you can do it!!
I haven’t had to endure the time change as they don’t do it in Mexico. It just means a 2 hour time adjustment when we head back to Ontario at the end of March.
Mexico is so smart! Time change is just ridiculous – but I think you’ll adjust just fine when you are going home. Hope you are having a great time!
Oy, the poodles. The time change is exhausting and I feel terrible complaining because I don’t have children and I can just take a nap this afternoon, but I’m all bleary-headed and can’t concentrate and it’s terrible.
I’m writing up a post about how I’m trying to get back to the person I was before COVID and it’s been really hard. I’m still antsy in large groups and I turn down more social engagements than I’m comfortable and I’m just not the person I want to be. It’s been very hard for even those of us with privileges that made the pandemic hard and I worry about the long-term effects for people who did not have those privileges.
I am in full-on rage mode about DST. Yesterday I felt okay, and today I feel like a giant piece of garbage. Why do we do this?! It is so inconvenient, people DIE every year because of it…I have no desire to go into politics, but if I did, eliminating time changes would be part of my platform. Sigh.
A friend of mine was discussing how she feels PTSD as we head into March Break this week. Our kids went to school on Friday the 13th of March 2020 (I remember it was a Friday the 13th because my husband managed to get back to Canada on that Friday the 13th RIGHT when they were cancelling all the flights and shutting borders) expecting to be off for a one-week March Break…and then they never went back. Online learning was so, so hard for our family and like you, we had all sorts of privileges! I felt like I was watching my kids wither in front of my eyes. I cannot imagine the horrible effects on people who were struggling financially or academically or relationally BEFORE the pandemic. It was “hard” for my family, but literally negatively life-changing for so many families/individuals.
Over the weekend we were talking about how this time last year there was a major lockdown in our area, complete and total mask mandates and all sorts of restrictions on travel. It almost feels like an alternate reality.
Yes, Friday the 13th! That is how I know I’ll never forget it. It was just so damaging for so many people; so many people I know lost their businesses and livelihoods.
I liked being home with all the kids, but Ben and I don’t have any issues working with the kids around, so we are so so lucky on that front. I agree with you about ruts and a damaged sense of adventure, though. I think the (privileged) kids are recovering pretty quickly. This year’s college freshmen are EXCELLENT, and I am finding that my juniors and seniors (and grad students, too) are back to pre-COVID coping mechanisms and ability to thrive as adults.
Oh, that’s a very hopeful and lovely thing to hear!
I’m so glad to see a professor recognizing students are adapting well. Thank you for sharing this. My daughter is in first year and I do think that timing was a benefit. The world shut down while she was in grade ten. Her friends whose parents were really dramatic about MISSING OUT seem to not be doing as well.
As Nicole wrote, and I always said, this is a disaster. I spoke to the seniors I taught about looking ahead and keeping perspective.
I am grateful we never ended up in hospital, and my daughter’s surgeries are not as urgent and many children who are still waiting.
Thanks Nicole for opening this conversation and people sharing their experiences. I am seeing more writing about how important this is we move forward, People wanting to pretend this didn’t happen, and wasn’t traumatic and demanding it be over, are not doing well.
Lisa, I am so glad your daughter did not end up in hospital. I know her health is fragile. The overcrowded hospitals and the makeshift triage areas, the thought of those still make me have to catch my breath. What a terrifying time that was. I remember when they turned the Olympic Oval into a triage area, and just how desperate and despairing that felt. We are all just trying to heal, I think. Some of the older people I know from teaching did suffer immense consequences due to not being able to access health care in a timely manner. The mitigation strategies were so important but I think it’s so important to also remember that those strategies also had a terrible, lasting impact. Thanks for your kind comment.
I see the same thing, Sarah. My juniors this year are SO much more engaged than last year’s class. They are energetic and enthusiastic and just so. much. fun. 🙂
Three years?! Those were tough times. The anxiety/fear of what could happen was awful. We lost a very good family friend to COVID so it was even more sad and worrisome. And yes, it certainly has changed a lot of our lifestyle. We have not had a real vacation since! We arrived from a 3+week overseas vacation late Jan 2020 and then the lockdowns, and I was so glad we went on that trip. All our vacations since then so far have been local, except for Las Vegas where some of my husband’s family lives. We just finally started flying again last year. So we are very excited to go on a real vacation, albeit short, in a couple of months! We’ll be in your neighborhood — Banff — and I hope to taste some ketchup chips! LOL
The work from home situation has really shown me how much I dislike sitting in front of my computer day in and day out. I can’t wait to hang my hat and escape! 6months to go! I won’t have to stumble downstairs to log on to my work computer the next time we change clocks for DST!
Oh, those plants! Yes, same-same!
I am so excited for you to go to Banff! You’re going to love it. It’s so beautiful! There is so much wonderful hiking, there are cute little shops everywhere, the Banff Springs is a gorgeous hotel to peek at…it’s just the most beautiful part of the world. If you can, maybe take a trip out to Lake Louise and Moraine Lake – neither are far, and there are shuttle buses so you don’t have to deal with the parking nightmare. I hope you can get a good bag of ketchup chips, Old Dutch is the best brand and it’s very Canadian!
I’ve seen pictures of our neighbors and some friends who went there — yes, so beautiful! We are looking forward to doing some hiking, which seems to be my son’s favorite activity right now. For me, I enjoy hiking so much more when it’s cooler so that was why I was happy my son chose Banff over Oahu for this trip. We loved our vacation to Whistler and BC area and wanted to see more of Canada. Thank you for the pointers to see Lake Louise and Moraine Lake — we will cerainly do. Old Dutch, here we come! LOL
My oldest daughter’s birthday is today, March 13th. I recall the world at this time in 2020 vividly. She was a sophomore in college who had to return home in the middle of the semester, on her birthday. We all seem to have PTSD from 2020.
We just returned from a recent trip, the first since lockdown, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same. Traveling is no longer as enjoyable as it once was. I also read an article about long-term covid effects yesterday that I don’t want to think about, so I won’t.
But SIGH.
I mean, we can’t do anything about the long-term effects, honestly – we just have to do our best and hope for the best! I’m sorry your daughter’s birthday was lockdown day. Yikes.
I’ve never felt so sympatico with a plant before. Also I love Aubrey Gordon and Maintenance Phase. Can’t wait to read her new book.
Last night we went to Cirque at the same place where they have NBA games and I realized as we went in that the last time I was there was 3/10/2020 when youngest’s basketball team all went to see a fully packed NBA game. I’ve looked back on that so many times and thought what on earth were we doing? Just so clueless that things were about to completely blow up. Just incredibly lucky that no one caught covid. Returning to go to anything public and indoors like that three years later still makes me feel anxious. Like you, the shut down exacerbated certain parts of my personality that aren’t bad, but definitely need to be moderated like my tendency to hermit. I really leaned into that and it took my getting a new job in October that required me to be in the office 5 days a week to really pull out of my introvert spiral. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my needing alone time but it veered into unhealthy territory of needing it 24/7/365. I still have to suppress my first instinct to say no to invitations to do thing and go places and I wonder if I’ll ever fully return to my pre 2020 self.
Maggie, I hear you and I feel you! My first instinct is to say no, and I am fighting it with all my might. I don’t want to be like that!
I actually remember when they started shutting down the NBA games, because it felt so surreal and weird. That must have been just after your youngest’s team went!
That facebook post with the plant was a full laugh out loud for me. Thanks for sharing.
There is so much that covid changed and a lot of it is the internal changes, struggles and future unknown of how to keep living with it. Thank you for sharing your experiences. The more we talk about how we each experience it, I hope we can have compassion for each other.
Hi Shelly, I hope we can have compassion for each other because we have all been affected by it – but so differently!
I am REALLY feeling that facebook post this morning, whew!
I remember hearing rumblings about COVID that worried us enough that my husband and I opted to eat outside on a cold March afternoon the prior weekend. And that was the last time we ate at a restaurant.
Initially, I thought I’d lose my mind being stuck at home and then adjusted very well. Until now, when the world has moved on despite COVID still being a threat, now I think my introvert tendencies are in overdrive. Oh, I will see friends or whatever but I don’t want to be in a crowded restaurant or movie theater – this is going to problematic what with all the wedding festivities that are fast approaching…you know, the ones where the mother of the groom is supposed to be a part of. And maybe, just maybe, it was my subconscious dread about being in a crowded public place that caused me to mis-remember the day of my friend’s birthday party in December? (I wonder about this often)
I agree that we’ve all been affected in some way and agree that it was hardest for the children.
I often wonder how the world will react when and if another pandemic were to strike within our lifetime. It truly enrages me that it became such a politicized and divisive issue; and for that reason alone, I think we would be in real trouble if another pandemic were to evolve.
Oh, I wonder if that is what happened, with misremembering the date of the party. Yikes! And I guess the wedding festivities will be starting fairly soon – good luck, Gigi, I hope you will be okay.
NICOLE. HAVE you watched The Summer I Turn Pretty on Prime???? It improves upon the books manyfold. Listen, I stan Jenny Han. I have read this series THREE TIMES GOING ON FOUR and LET ME TELL YOU it is hard to be a 38-year-old in a teenage fandom. And YES, about the parents, and the parents are EVEN MORE a part of the tv show, and for that and so many other reasons it is worth a watch, or ten, not that I’ve watched the first season ten times (yes I have, only three more months or so until season 2 comes out).
Anyway. It’s nice to see other grownups here in TSITP land. (I’m assuming you’ve read To All the Boys and its sequels?)
Dial A for Auntie is high on my TBR!
Yes about DST. I’ve been finding it especially brutal this year. The kids have adjusted fine! But I’m a wreck!
Sigh. Turned*
ARIANA I JUST HEARD THAT THIS WAS A SERIES!!! Obviously I must watch it. I did read the other books too, and they were really fun!
Please do tell us what you think of it! (Even if you dislike it!)
Oh 2020, how I hope we never have a repeat. Here in Northern California, our local flavor was:
~ Pandemic (worldwide, not local) – Vacation plans destroyed, and then feeling badly because that is the least of it all. Medical workers dropping from exhaustion.
~ Damn election drama (US, not local) – It felt like a constant onslaught of horribleness
George Floyd/Black Lives Matter (US, not local) – So stressful – to show support, and thus go out and expose ourselves to COVID, and risk passing it on?
~ Wildfires that turned our skies orange (local)
~ Rolling blackouts due to heat, right when the air quality was horrible (local)
I do so remember learning the little ins and outs of pandemic lockdown life.
~ One store got their paper delivery on Friday mornings, so if you were there at 7, you might get some toilet paper.
~ When you’re at the grocery store, look for the WIC sign, and if possible, leave those products. These are products that families can use their government assistance cards to buy, so if you buy those canned tomatoes instead of the other brand, they can’t buy any.
Then of course we had the January 6th insurrection to lead us into 2021. Ugh. So stressful and exhausting, and yes, so many losses, both large and small. The stress and trauma on kids. On adults. Elderly people in care facilities, locked in their rooms. I had a friend I used to visit, and her hearing was terrible, so phone calls didn’t really help. So I wrote her letters, but that’s not the same. She died during the pandemic, though not from it. That made me so very sad, to not be able to visit her for so long, and how lonely that must have been.
And oy on the DST already. I’m so friggin over it. Can’t we just stop? We need to stay on Standard Time, in my opinion. Who do I have to bribe to make that happen?
So many awful things! At the beginning of the pandemic I thought that maybe the world would pull together, put our differences away…hard no. That sure did not happen. So much sadness in 2020. I’m sorry about your friend. How lonely and sad.
Oh I’m listening to the sequel to Dial A for Aunties right now – it’s called Four Aunties and a Wedding. I liked the first book a lot even though the over the top suspension of disbelief really isn’t my thing. The sequel has kind of the same frenetic unbelievable energy of the first book. I’m not sure if I’m enjoying it because the Pidgeon English accents are starting to grate on me… which I feel like they shouldn’t because this is just how they talk.
Three years ago, I was working on the same show I am working on now. We were in a tech session onstage when we were told to pack up our things because the theatre was shutting down. I remember that morning asking my co-worker, “What is ‘social distancing’ anyway?” and she googled it for me.
It seems so surreal to think we then spent the next year or so at home with our kids, thinking that we would get to go back to work/school in a couple week, then months, then… who knows when.
I love this thought you had:
“There is a lot of joy and satisfaction in my ordinary day-to-day life, yes, but the memories I cherish stem from times that I broke out of my routine, when something new or different happened, when I travelled or saw a friend or experienced something I hadn’t before. I don’t want to live my life just plodding along, every week the same; I want to be able to appreciate my comfortable routine by breaking it, and then coming back.”
Building something to come back to is so important!
It was such a strange and surreal time. We went from restricting screen time for our kids to “all screens all the time.” What a weird time it was!
I’m not a fan of “[thing that is not literal violence] is literal violence!” But I kind of want to make an exception and say Spring Forward is literal violence.
Erin, I am with you all the way on this.
The plant pic reminds me of Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail…. I am not dead yet; I am getting better!
I can’t believe it has been three years since the pandemic “started.” We got sent home on the 16th, which was Monday, but I was actually in NYC for a friends wedding the week before, which was supposed to be on Pi day… and of course was canceled, and things were closing down so I flew home a day early “just in case” although I was not sure what all of the fuss was about. It seemed like it would be over soon, like in a few days or something! What little we knew then.
What little we knew indeed! A few people said to me something about dealing with this through the summer and I thought THROUGH THE SUMMER? Won’t this be over by then??
I love the Plant Sign. We’ve all felt that way!
When we lived in AZ, it was so nice that they didn’t acknowledge daylight savings.
Nicole, look how far we’ve come in three years! *takes a bow* I also wasn’t putting my groceries in Time Out or covering them with bleach, but we were all affected in a negative way. I got chills reading about your two (super smart) friends who warned you about going to Mexico. Can you imagine if things had been pushed back a bit and you were stuck there?
Okay, first, duh, I’ve been getting FB memories about the beginning of the pandemic which are really hard to read this week, and it still didn’t really hit me until just now that it’s because it’s the third anniversary. What an emotional/mental hit, in addition to the fucking time change.
Is it ridiculous that I feel kind of weepily grateful that you would read about myths regarding fat people as a thin person? Sometimes it just seems like no thin person actually believes that fat people are fat for any reason other than self-sabotage and terrible habits and it’s really, really nice when someone pays attention to Aubrey Gordon and other activists for reasons other than self-preservation.
I think Aubrey Gordon is brilliant, and she has given me so much to think about and a perspective that is so important. Her writing is just so important for everyone!
It’s always hard for me to talk about the pandemic because the way it affected me was so minimal, and there were so many positive changes that happened in my life because of it. For me, being at home and not having to worry about making plans and friends hanging out without me was so freeing. My social anxiety was so much better during the early days of the pandemic! And maybe things were also different because I lived in Florida and things got back to “normal” here much sooner than other places (to our detriment! I do not think this was a good thing!!). I know it was a scary time for other people and a frustrating time for parents, so sometimes I feel like talking about my experience is taboo. Bleh.
I need to read Aubrey Gordon’s new book! I loved the teaser they did on the Maintenance Phase podcast.
I think your experience is 100% valid and you should not have to feel bad talking about it! It all affected us differently! And I am so glad you got positive changes from it too. I did as well – some things that happened really did improve my quality of life. That said, it was really rough on my kids.
That book was great – I think I liked the first one better, but this one is so informative.
Nicole, you were seriously in my head with this post. I, too, am in even more of a routine rut than before. My social anxiety is so much higher than it was. My limited social skills have suffered (as Engie can attest). Most of the time I just. want. to. be. at. home. And my sense of adventure? It’s atrophied, significantly.
I saw the effects of the lockdown on my 2 niblings…one of whom graduated in an online ceremony. The other faced challenges unknown to us all until after lockdown (they are doing much better now).
And finally, PREACH about DST. It kills people. Why do we do it, again? I hope Canada changes because maybe then we will a) adopt the metric system (come on…) and b) kill DST. Fingers crossed.
I think the pandemic has affected us all in so many ways! xo
I’ve been thinking about the start of the pandemic a lot (because it’s March) and while in some ways, Covid has established some nice, slowed-down routines in my personal life (hello WFH), I notice a similar trend. I was a homebody before the pandemic, but the pandemic might have made it worse and I must push myself to plan more adventures (although I never regret any plans, it takes some effort to make them and follow through).
Yes, exactly, it takes more effort to make plans now! That’s exactly it!