Longtime readers may remember the great Life Changing Magic I experienced, back in 2016, accomplished merely by Tidying Up. I Kondo-ed my entire house that year, section by section, and then followed that with the No-Shopping Challenge of 2017-18. The two experiences, together, really changed my consumer behaviour for the better. I became incredibly mindful of all purchases, but particularly clothing purchases. I bought clothes and shoes with intention. In terms of household items, I established a routine wherein I would have one backup in storage of all food or cleaning staples, and when I used that backup, I would add the item to my shopping list. This worked really well for me. Nothing expired or got freezer-burned, my clothes were all pieces that I loved, and I didn’t have a cupboard full of useless products, bought on a whim.
Then the pandemic hit.
I know I don’t have to tell you how it affected my personal consumer behaviour, because it probably affected yours in the same way; the mere idea that there could be a shortage of an item was enough to make me panic and buy that item whenever it was available, no matter that I already had a backup of that item, or, in some cases, several backups of that item. At one point I had one hundred pounds of flour in the house – four twenty-five pound bags, I just kept picking up a bag every time it was available – and although I do indeed bake a lot, that is really too much flour for a family of four. It was at that point I told myself that I could not buy any more until I had used up the last backup, and I kept to it.
Flour wasn’t the only thing I panicked about; I still have a lot of baking powder and, bizarrely, cream of tartar. I could make enough play-dough for every preschool program in the city at this point. My freezers were all full and so was my pantry, and I realized that all my good and reasonable consumption patterns had taken a turn.
I definitely needed a reset when it came to purchases, particularly in the area of groceries and household products. At the beginning of the pandemic, I bought some non-hippie cleaning supplies when they became available – remember how we couldn’t get things like Lysol? – and because I usually use my natural, hippie, probably-isn’t-effectively-killing-germs-but-they-smell-nice cleaners, I still have those bottles, unused, in my cupboard.
Then I read The Curated Closet and, looking at my own overflowing closet, it was like a little light went off in my head. Time for a project, and not just a project, but A Big Project. I needed to Change My Life, again.
I started with what can only be described as a mix between the Kon-Mari method, the Curated Closet ideology, and Swedish Death Cleaning. I apologize for referring to my own eventual demise two weeks in a row, but I promise you I am not planning to shuffle off this mortal coil just yet. However, I did have a what am I keeping this for moment while looking at some of my things, remembering when my grandma was moved into long-term care from her apartment. In cleaning out her apartment, there were so many items that, sadly, no one had use for. I want someone to use the things I have, even if it’s not me using them.
One of my friends was collecting linens and the like for a couple of charitable projects of her own, and so I made the plunge and donated four full sets of old towels and three blankets that I was keeping for no particular reason. Well, there was a reason for the towels: my thinking was that in case our basement ever flooded, I would have extra towels to mop up the water. For context, this has never happened, and we have lived in this house for 22 years. Our basement got slightly wet near a single window back in 2005, the summer I was pregnant with my younger son, and that was due to an enormous amount of rain and a malfunction of our eavestroughs. Those eavestroughs have long since been fixed, and being our basement didn’t even get a drop of water during Calgary’s 2013 flood, I felt that four extra sets of towels, particularly ones that are never used, were just too many towels.
After that, I had momentum going for me. I tackled my closet and dressers, and believe me, that is a task in itself. I tend to buy quality, non-trendy pieces that last a long time, which means I have many things that are over a decade old, but still are in great shape. I have been the same size for probably fifteen years, but my body shape has changed, if that makes sense, so some of those items, while they technically fit, did not feel good at best or felt unflattering at worst.
I made a vow to keep only pieces that I love and that make me feel, if not gorgeous, at least cute. LOVE means different things, right? The love I feel for my husband and kids is different from the love I feel for a glass of cabernet franc, or for coconut milk ice cream. Similarly, the love I feel for a fabulous black dress is different than the love I feel for a cute old tee, emblazoned with the words Shine On, that I wear when I am gardening. But the key to cleaning out my closet was I wanted nothing in there that I didn’t love or that I didn’t feel fabulous in. Can you feel fabulous in yoga pants and a sweatshirt? I think you can, because I do, albeit in a different way than when I’m in a dress and heels. Different costumes for different activities! Gardening clothes are different from workout wear, and both are different from going-out clothes, but different doesn’t mean better or worse. Right? My body shape is different, but that doesn’t mean it’s any better or worse than five or ten years ago.
In an effort to show the clothes I love some love, I bought a big set of velvet hangers, got rid my mishmash of plastic and wire hangers – NO! WIRE! HANGERSSSSSSS! – and took every item out of my closet and dressers. When I wasn’t sure about something – a dress I hadn’t worn for years, for example – I tried it on and if I didn’t feel spectacular, I put it in the donation pile. If I felt meh about a piece, I put it in the donation pile. I thought, if it doesn’t Spark Joy or I don’t Love It, it goes. The hardest part was getting rid of sweaters that were expensive to start with, even if I had gotten a lot of wear out of them. But there were some that I just didn’t love anymore, for whatever reason, and I thanked them for their service and hoped they found their way into the closet of someone who would love them.
Fortunately for me, in the middle of this the Kidney Foundation happened to call to see if I had any donations; this was their haul, three of those bags being from my sons’ cull of their respective closets.
One of the rules from The Curated Closet is to carefully examine your wardrobe, identify gaps or needs, then – and only then – make careful, measured purchases. I have to say, in a completely honest way, that I have no gaps or needs, even after this massive cull. You guys, I have a lot of clothes. It’s ridiculous. I am not going to go on another No Shopping Year, mostly because if I do I fear my mother will disown me and my husband will leave me, but I have made a few rules for the next year, starting May 27, which is when I began The Big Project.
- No quick purchases. If there is something I think I need in the clothing department, I am going to wait at least a week to purchase it to see if I can be without it. Chances are I already have several similar items in my closet; i.e., my twenty black sweaters and thirty-two black tees in a variety of sleeve lengths and fits.
- Socks and underwear are exempt from Rule #1. Those items can be purchased whenever required.
- Seasonal essentials are somewhat exempt from Rule #1; I have many, many pairs of gloves and scarves and hats, but should I require something that will allow me to live my vida hygge, or friluftsliv, I shall not hesitate.
- Decent footwear is vital to my well-being, and if any of my current sandals, shoes, running shoes, or winter boots wear out, they can be immediately replaced.
- If it doesn’t make me feel fabulous, it doesn’t belong in the closet. This means new purchases, yes, but it also means I need to assess my old favourites from time to time, as my body changes with perimenopause.
So here I am, almost two months into the Rules already, and I have kept to them so far! The next step is dealing with the pantry and household goods; stay tuned.
Weekly Reading
Hooked. This was so interesting; the cover somewhat suggests one of those weird lecture-style books about the dangers of food, but it was not like that at all. Instead, it’s a smart and well-researched book on the nature of addiction, the role memory plays in our eating lives, and corporate manipulation. There is a lot about the processed food industry, and a sideline about the famous McDonalds lawsuit. I was excited to read about Indra Noori and PepsiCo, whose memoir I had recently read. Noori famously worked towards bringing healthier choices to PepsiCo, and was lauded for it by everyone BUT Wall Street. That was a detail that was not in her memoir, and apparently one of the reasons she stepped down in 2018. Investors, apparently, wanted more of those crazy unhealthy multi-product items on the menu.
Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have To Offer. I put this on my library hold list for a reason, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what that reason was. Did I hear about it on a podcast? Did I read about it in an interview? In any case, it was very, very different from what I was expecting, which was, as it says on the cover, “…a masterly ode to unfettered, unrestrained, and unrepentant joy.” I’m pretty sure I would not use the word “joy” to describe this collection of essays. I was expecting joyful discussion of tacky pop culture, and each essay did circle back to a different piece of pop culture, that’s correct. The author is many years my junior and so the pop culture in question that shaped her youth were things that I vaguely remembered from my twenties and thirties and, in the case of Guy Fieri, my forties. I suppose it’s because of my age that I had that not-unfamiliar motherly/ big sisterly feeling of alarmed disappointment when I read about her frankly quite horrifying and unhealthy exploits. Honey, you deserve better than this, I thought constantly, along with For the love of god, make better choices. So I’m not the desired demographic. I will say that each depressing essay was extremely well-written; the author is a talented essayist, even if I find the content disturbing and sad.
Heart Talk. I am including this in my weekly reading, although I have been reading it, one or two pages at a time, for months, before my yoga practice in the morning. It was a lovely way to start my practice; it’s such a gem of a book about self-care and self-love. Perfect pre-yoga reading!
I hope you are all having a lovely summery week, friends! I am going to leave you with photos of “the twins,” taken on my morning run when I was up at my parents’ place last week. Aren’t they sweet? xo
I have never owned Cream of Tartar in my life.
The two times I’ve required it for making playdough, I borrowed the tablespoon from a neighbour…because what does one use Cream of Tartar for? This neighbour apparently uses it once a year for an Easter dessert she makes. It is so old, I doubt there is any leavening left it in, but she seems content to slowly share out her Cream of Tartar, regardless of its questionable age.
There is little I enjoy more than decluttering. Just seeing that pile of bags makes me happy. And, since I buy almost 100% of my clothes (among other things) second hand, you never know – I might just end up with something from your stash one day 🙂
I think I bought it as a substitute for baking powder, but honestly, I’m not sure!
I have one cookie recipe that calls for it (snickerdoodles). Funny story, though, I once was asked to weigh in on a recipe conversation between two coworkers about cream of tartar: “That’s the one that’s in the store near the ketchup and mustard, right?” No, honey, that’s tartar SAUCE, very different things.
This project sounds amazing, and… I kind of want to do this to my own closet???
Your deer twins are adorable.
It’s really satisfying, Suzanne!
Torrie from To Love and To Learn had a series in which she decluttered 1,001 items from her house and I’ve been loosely attempting to model my own decluttering attempts after that, but it turns out that my husband and I actually don’t collect a lot of things. Because we’ve essentially been followers of slow fashion since the factory collapse in Bangladesh in 2013, I don’t really have too many items of clothes (with the large exceptions of socks and scarves). I’m really struggling with this, but maybe you’re right and I should start my culling down by going through household supplies. Anyway, nicely done with your own decluttering – hopefully it will make your day to day life better.
https://www.toloveandtolearn.com/2021/07/23/what-i-learned-from-decluttering-1001-things-final-decluttering-report/
Oooh, thanks for the link!
What an awesome job decluttering, Nicole. I wish I had read your post before I online shopped this weekend (boredom and loneliness)–they were mostly presents, but still…
My favorite riposte to where I keep my household extras is: “in the store.” 😝
That’s so cute – my kids used to call my mom’s pantry “Grandma’s Store!”
I found some frozen broccoli at the bottom of the chest freezer recently. We never buy frozen broccoli so I’m guessing it was an early pandemic buy. I remember buying a lot of frozen veggies.
YES! Me too! Such a panic that time was.
I confess that I had 8 lbs of yeast at the start of the pandemic – when one bag usually lasts me 6 months. I also usually never buy disinfectant wipes and I would buy one every time I found them at Target or Sam’s club. So many wipes! I eventually gave them to my kids’ school. I’m slowly trying to get over my hoarding trends.
Oh, the Lysol wipes! I ended up buying a package that I ended up donating as well!
Because my husband does the shopping and does not like to have a lot of inventory in the house, we did not accumulate a lot of back-up things! If I was doing the shopping, surely we’d have a lot of reserves sitting around… He is always talking about our food inventory so he is just not susceptible to over-buying! But I was glad that we had a subscription to toilet paper. They must have prioritized us over other orders because we never ran out! We had to accept a (good) substitute a few times, but that was fine.
I went through my closet this past spring about a month after I finished bf’ing our youngest. I had been in a ~5 year period of constant change/transition of my body since I was pregnant, trying to get pregnant or pumping/breast feeding during that time. I was thrilled to get rid of my pregnancy clothes shortly after Will was born and even more happy to ditch some of my nursing must haves – like the tank tops w/ the little clips that I wore every single day from when Will was born until I stopped bf’ing. I’m new to returning to the office and so much in my life and the work culture has changed so I am giving myself 6 months to kind of figure out what I need out of my work wardrobe, and then I plan to hire a wardrobe consultant. Fashion is not my area of expertise, so I need someone to come in and look at what I have, help me identify gaps and then help me find good quality pieces that will last a long time. It’s going to cost some money, but I know it will be worth it. I went with a friend on her shopping trip when she worked w/ a wardrobe consultant and gained a lot of advice just listening to what the stylist said about how to tuck things in, what to pair together, etc. Ideally, I’d like to end up with a capsule type of wardrobe and I need some replacements for business suits BECAUSE I HATE THEM AND NEVER FEEL GOOD IN THEM!! I have a couple of winter dresses that I wear instead of business suits but need some spring/summer pieces.
Your comment about the collection of essays reminds me how I felt when I read “welcome to the g.d. ice cube.” I think I was just too old for that book and couldn’t be sympathetic to some of the (poor) choices the author was making…
I think I remember you mentioning the ice cube book – I looked at it after you did and thought NOPE.
A wardrobe consultant and a capsule wardrobe – both such great ideas!
I have done some periodic culling of my clothes but could stand to do some more. It’s so easy to tuck things I might want again at the back of the drawer…but it’s time to empty out the whole drawer and get a little strong-minded about what goes back in.
That’s what I have been doing – tucking things away! But it was very satisfying to donate those items.
Great job, Nicole! That’s been one of the things I’ve been wanting to do. I did a bit during the COVID safer-at-home orders (although I kept working from home there was really no down time for me except for weekends because we couldn’t do anything). I came up with a bunch — but I need to do more. It doesn’t help that I have been quite the shopping fiend the last few years, but it needs to stop. My cousin was here a few months ago and she was aghast at all the clothes in my closet. I need to take the approach of “Do I love this? Does it make me feel good about how I look?” — but then again, that might make me get rid of 90% of them! LOL If I relied on “Will I wear this again even if I haven’t worn it in 5yrs?”, I may keep all of them. Awful! But I made a self-imposed goal not to buy myself anything to wear for 6months. I have been successful for 1.5months now so yay!
Great job! I think the no-shopping thing is harder than it seems like it might be!
In terms of getting rid of things we haven’t worn in years: well, there were so many things I didn’t wear during the pandemic, and I kept a lot of them because they were classic dresses and heels, etc.
My general philosophy regarding clothes/shoes is like yours – do I love it? If not, out it goes. If I love it, why haven’t I worn it? Then either wear it or out it goes. But I do need to start buying more quality items. I was starting to do that pre-pandemic. But when the world shut down, I was reduced to buying t-shirts from Target online. Their t-shirts used to last at least a couple of seasons but the last few that I purchased? It’s ridiculous – one had a hole in the shirt by the end of the first day that I wore it. So I have vowed to not buy any more clothes from Target. Now, I just need to figure out where to buy quality t-shirts.
I do need to go through my closet and The Husband’s (the hoarder) again though. Getting him to part with anything is difficult, even if he doesn’t like it or it doesn’t fit.
Don’t even get me started on our pantry….The Husband (I mean Hoarder) does our grocery shopping – for which I am eternally grateful – but holy cow. He seems to think that our pantry is a magical place that will continually expand every time he adds another box of pasta, can of tomatoes; etc. I have to put my foot down every now and again and forbid him to buy another bottle of ketchup – even if it was on sale -because we already have six in the pantry and we RARELY use ketchup as it is.
Hahaha I feel like I can relate to your husband! I was doing so well before the pandemic, but now things have got to change!
I remember you going off on a bit of a ‘fill the pantry shopping binge’ during the pandemic. I think that was completely normal for the time.
I really need to do another Kondo job in my closet. My issue is that my size does fluctuate, up and down. So, I almost hate to get rid of things that are a size smaller that I LOVE. Maybe I should just move them to a guest closet?
Oh, and I love velvet hangers. Please tell me that you hang your clothes within color ranges like a normal human and not all willy-nilly mixed in like a psycho. 😳
Well, the colour ranges I have are black and grey…so yes, they are hung in colour ranges! Lol!
Bravo on the decluttering of the closet. I’ve gone through my closet and eliminated. I know there are still things I can do without, but I tend to hang on to things ‘just in case.’ I also buy quality, and I buy things on sale. Still, I can do without some things. I have things that I wear when I babysit (pockets, washable, comfortable, etc), and then I have things I wear when I leave the house and want to look somewhat presentable. Some of my dressy items I don’t need as much, but I do need to get dressed up on occasion. I’ve also found that some of my clothes have come in handy for Mini, who can borrow my things in a pinch when she needs to look more presentable than most students tend to look.
I’m super interested in that book about eating and addictions. I’ve recently changed some of my eating habits. It is hard, but I’m figuring out that I don’t really need some of the added sugar, etc.
It was a really good book, a very interesting read, and not at all “blamey” if you know what I mean. Just interesting and well-researched!
In terms of dressy clothes – I kept a lot of them because although I don’t dress up much, I do sometimes need an outfit, and it’s silly to get rid of something that I will use! I understand what you mean!
Nicole, I would like to formally invite you to Florida. We’ll swim in my pool, I’ll make you some delicious vegan food and THEN… you can help me clean out my closets!!! First we’ll get rid of almost everything I own, and then you can take me shopping and tell me what I actually should be wearing. Doesn’t that sound fun? In all seriousness, it must have felt amazing to get rid of all that stuff. The only thing I’m slightly worried about is that you’ve doomed yourself to a bizarre, fluky basement flood… I can just picture myself hanging onto those towels forever, thinking “But if i get rid of them, the basement WILL flood!” As you can see, i need help.
Hang on, let me pack a bag. Okay, on my way! Truly, that sounds very fun. I would LOVE that.
YES OMG YES. I did actually wonder if I cursed myself. I had to really talk myself through it.
I began living minimally in the wake of the pandemic, but last year I found myself reverting to old habits. I was watching a video on my phone of my home when I was at the pinnacle of my minimalist lifestyle, and I realized how much I missed living with only the essentials. It used to be so much easier to keep my house clean, but now that we have an extra human living in it, I’m finding it much more challenging. I needed this message today. ❤️
When I clicked on the original post, I saw Ann Patchett’s book, which my other friend had just recommended I read the week before! So there’s a clear indication that I should put it on hold at the library right now! Xoxo
That book is SO good, it resonated with me so much. I have read other Patchett books but none spoke to me as much as that did.
By the way, your post about sacred spaces is so inspiring, and I might have to write my own post (and credit you OF COURSE!!!) xoxo
That is so awesome, Nicole! It fills me with happiness whenever I hear that anything I’ve shared has inspired someone else. Xoxo
Oh how I love to clean out/organize & de-junk! I have been dealing with a pantry moth pest issue since December — they are VERY hard to get rid of. Hence all our dry goods were tossed, cupboards scrubbed, almost everything is being stored in the fridge or freezer until we know they are gone. This means my pantry is a thing of beauty – all glass jars neatly labelled and lined up by size. It truly looks like something from a magazine. We finally had to give in and have the professionals come in which meant emptying the entire kitchen. It was like moving, and I donated everything I don’t really use. The only silver lining was that we also had to empty our large walk-in closet as we saw a couple flying arount in there. I go through my wardrobe 2 or 3 times a year but my husband is a packrat. He lives in t-shirts and jeans but I filled a spare room with his clothing! We filled 6 large garbage bags for donation — 99% his and I’ve filled 2 bins with “sentimental” (??) items to go into the basement. It’s been a nightmare but I do love the result.
Wow, what a nightmare, Pat!!! That sounds dreadful, although the glass jars…I can picture it and now I think I should probably do that for myself!! It sounds gorgeous.
I love everything about this post! I don’t own a lot of clothes because I am indecisive and having too many options overwhelms me. It’s easier to have 5-6 “fancy” shirts rather than 15+. Or 1-2 pairs of sandals rather than 5+. I was using Stitch Fix for a while to build up my wardrobe since it was really lacking in clothes that made me feel good, and I’m super happy I did that because now I have lots of items to choose from that I love! If I wear something and don’t feel good in it, it goes directly to my Goodwill donation bag. And I try to follow the “1 in, 1 out” rule where I have to donate one item of clothing for every clothing item I bring in. That helps!
That’s so smart, Stephany! I loved seeing your Stitch Fix posts, by the way! I don’t think we have that here. I mean, maybe we do? But it seems like it worked great for you!
Well, I just loved everything about this post! The adorable twins, the alarmed motherly feelings toward the young author, the closet purge – oh! And I’m so envious of the donation pickup option. (I assume they came to pick up, that is.) I did all my donating that way when I lived in my more populated town in Illinois, but here in rural Michigan I have to haul everything into my car, drive a half hour, and then find a donation center.
Also, the pandemic purchases! I still get heart eyes when I see a box of Clorox wipes, and still have the urge to stockpile flour and it is JUST ME here, lol.
I loved reading about this because it’s something that I’ve thought about for quite a while, but have not yet tackled. I don’t typically think that I am a hoarder of things, in fact, I always purchase quite carefully to begin with, but there’s a lot of stuff I could get rid off…. starting in my closet (and the garage!). I just need to find a start.
I think I’m going to get started on my kitchen/ pantry TODAY. We’ll see how the day goes!
OK, you are giving me the motivation to a) continue my non-essential spending freeze indefinitely, and b) excavate my closet and drawers. I am also, sadly, guilty of the “shove it to the back and ignore it” move and… yeah. It’s time to move on! If I don’t love it and don’t wear it, why on earth do I have it?
On another note, I’m so desperately curious to know what you did with All The Flour??? 🙂
We have all been guilty of the “shove it to the back” I think!
I bake a lot and it all ended up in cookies, muffins, loaves, etc. – but over the course of like nine months or something!