Breaking News: Woman Finds Python In In-Laws’ Toilet, Says It Was The Best Visit Ever

The long weekend was so early this year! We drove out to see my in-laws, and witnessed the aftermath of so many avalanches and mudslides. There is something very unnerving about driving down the highway which is surrounded by piles of rocks, broken trees, and other debris. The water rushing out of random holes in the mountains didn’t seem too reassuring either. I felt like I was a very old person, constantly commenting on the amount of snow still on the ground. In my day we never saw four feet of snow at this time of year.

I don’t know how you travel, but we like to get an “early start” which is becoming earlier and earlier all the time. On Monday we left for home at 5:30 in the morning. 5:30! Waking up at 4:30 is normal for me, but the kids were pretty tired; they ended up sleeping for over an hour, which never happens. They woke up, disoriented and wondering how long it would be until we were at Tim Hortons. Ah, nothing makes me feel so patriotic as driving through the mountains, early in the morning, with a cup of Tim’s and the kids hepped up on doughnuts.

Our “early start” theory also has the very nice side effect of “being ahead of the traffic”. Unfortunately, my husband is now of the mind that if 5:30 is good, then 4:30 must be better. At this rate, we will soon be defeating the purpose of the early start, because we will be driving in the middle of the night with all the drunk people.

Last summer we got a new minivan, and it has all sorts of neat features like reclining bucket seats with footrests in the back and a DVD player with wireless headsets. It’s a far cry from how I used to travel, as a kid: ten hour road trips across the prairie squished in the back of the sedan with my two brothers and the dog, with our bags of books and other car activities at our feet so that our knees were approximately 6 inches from our chins, with my mother periodically doling out Life Savers as our only diversion. In some ways I feel our children are ridiculously spoiled, all stretched out in comfort, watching their Phineas and Ferb videos and munching on their Tim Hortons’ doughnuts. All the same, I like it. The wireless headsets mean that my husband and I can gossip freely in the front seat, without worrying about big-eared little pitchers in the backseat, absorbing all the information and then questioning us incessantly. “Mom, who is so disappointed? Why are they disappointed? What’s an affair mean? Who’s pregnant?” I should probably make mention of children being good reminders of moral living, and how gossip is undesirable and inappropriate anyway, but all the same I’m glad of the wireless headsets.

We had a very enjoyable weekend, in any case. It’s always nice to go somewhere that has flowers in bloom in May. The Lilac Festival is happening here this weekend, I believe, and my lilac bushes currently have 1 inch leaves on them, and no flower buds whatsoever. Whose idea was that, I do not know, but I did enjoy my mother-in-law’s flowers and the greenery.




The boys enjoyed many, many rides on their grandpa’s utility vehicle. I practiced a lot of “off the mat” yoga, if you know what I mean.


This is what yoga looks like while in jeans and on a utility vehicle.

“Off the mat” yoga is code for “being a nice person”, not “trying to put one’s leg behind one’s head on farm equipment”, FYI.

All in all it was a great long weekend, even if we did find a giant python in the bathroom, just like that lady in Texas:





  1. One year when I was a child, my dad’s company rented him an AIR-CONDITIONED MINIVAN for his vacation, and I remember feeling like I had DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN. My brother and I each had our OWN SEAT. AND didn’t have highway wind battering us silly through open windows.

  2. When I was a kid I used to eavesdrop on my parents all the time but my kids are so bad at it. It’s as if they don’t realize nothing makes the interesting conversation stop more quickly than asking a question. I almost want to give them pointers, but I suppose it’s not in my own best interest to do so.

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