For Cinco de Mayo, I’m building a snowman

Festively enough for the fifth of May, huge, fluffy snowflakes are falling right now.  It’s kind of depressing.  The boys were slated to start a junior golf program this morning, but since there is a minor blizzard going on, we are all at home in our jammies. 

Speaking of sports, because of all the rain that has been falling over the past few weeks, Mark had his first soccer game of the season on Thursday night.  It was not raining, but it was cold, and I wore my giant winter parka and two pairs of mittens.  After the game, Mark was coughing a lot, which threw me into a state of despair and panic.  Last year Mark developed a cough during the freezing, wet soccer season, which eventually turned into pneumonia, which led to months of subsequent incessant coughing during the night and following any kind of physical activity.  Giving him his inhaler – which we haven’t had to use all winter – seemed to help.  I am not going to be sad in the least that this will be our last year playing soccer.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a climate in which I wouldn’t get the shakes just thinking about outdoor spring activities. 

I had an epiphany this week.  I realized that extreme, overwhelming dissatisfaction with my appearance is one hundred percent correlated to my menstrual cycle.  This may seem obvious to the rest of you, but to me it was a relief.  The next time I find myself glaring at myself in the mirror, wondering if I could possibly avoid all contact with the outside world, I am going to take a look at the calendar.  If I tracked my expenditures on beauty products and makeup on a calendar, I would surely find a huge spike in the days leading up to my ladies’ holidays.  This should have been obvious when I found myself in buying a jar of special hair masque alongside three different kinds of dark chocolate.

Adding to my “look away, I’m hideous” attitude, there has been a visiting yoga teacher this week.  She’s fabulous, and I love it when she’s here, but I always get up a little bit earlier when she visits, to give me a little extra time with my practice, and to get as much instruction from her as I can.  Getting up ten or fifteen minutes earlier doesn’t seem like much, but by the end of the week I’m an hour short of sleep, which – I apologize to those of you new mamas who aren’t sleeping at all – makes me a little stabby.

But I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, ate some of the aforementioned dark chocolate and watched Grey’s Anatomy – did you see it?  That’s what happens when you have premarital sex, APRIL – I slept well, and now this morning all the stabbiness is gone.  The kids are busy playing Star Wars Wii, as they have been since yesterday – “It’s Star Wars Day, Mom!” – I can hang out in comfy yoga pants all day, and the snow will surely melt soon.  So life is good.


  1. Yeah…serves you right, April! I’m glad I read that recap so I know of what you speak. 😉

    This is probably fully in the TMI arena, but I use the Mirena IUD which has given me lots of acne, but has also slowed my period so it only lasts a day a month. I can’t quite decide if pimples are worth the no period thing, but I do like that the PMS is pretty much gone too. So…

    Also, snow? That’s tragic. I just signed my son up for his first soccer league, but here in Vancouver we don’t play soccer until the Fall & Winter when it’s pouring rain. By the time the weather clears up in the spring, soccer stops. Why is soccer always played in the worst weather?

  2. We do late summer/early fall soccer. Only the select teams start in the spring here. In the summer, the season starts in 110 degree weather & by the end of the short 7 week season, we’re in snow. It’s stupid. STUPID.

    I think the only soccer that’s played in good weather is the indoor soccer league.

    Like Marilyn, I have a Mirena (inter-uterine twins!). I haven’t had any side effects & I don’t menstruate at all. Ever. I’m coming up on being due to have my 3rd IUD, though & I’m wondering if going TEN YEARS without menstruating is good for me… so I’m weighing how good that has been for my mental state with whatever possible side-effects there could be.

    So far it’s a tie.

    Anyway, you’re gorgeous. With or without sleep. With or without sloughing uterine lining (ew!). With or without 2 pairs of mittens. <3

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  4. I know I’m going to have my period when I plan a vacation or trip that involves swimming. “We’re going on a trip?” says my menstrual cycle, “OH GOODY! I’ll clear my schedule and make it a point of showing up at an inconvenient unexpected time, ie a gross washroom in the middle of nowhere. What memories we’ll make!”

    • That also tends to happen to me. Except when we are visiting the butterdish. Then I think I must repress it. With my feelings.

  5. Ha! I’m totally with Nan. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I am actually looking forward to menopause so I can travel without having to bring a separate suitcase of feminine products.

    As for Grey’s – I feel bad for poor April. She and Jackson were kind of working for me. Do you think she will be back next year, or will she just pack it in?

    • You know, I didn’t like her character until recently. But maybe they will bring her back – OR MAYBE GOD HATES HER FOREVER AND SHE’LL GET STRUCK BY LIGHTENING!

  6. Man periods suck.
    My face explodes.
    I gain 5 pounds of water weight and candy in my cupboards.
    And my finger nails turn into weapons.
    I’m so glad we don’t have snow.

  7. Personally, I can become convinced that I’m a hideous freak of nature who will frighten little children at any old time. Yay me. My kids don’t play soccer, but we are starting spring baseball and the last two weeks it’s rained five days out of seven. I’m trying not to feel nostalgic for hockey, which at least takes place indoors. Angus used to have that same kind of lung weakness, but he’s grown out of it – here’s hoping Mark will too. Oh! And I don’t have to take Eve to her second game this week because it’s the school Art Festival and she has to be there to dance to Kung Fu Fighting. Bright spot!

    • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting! Awesome, Eve!

      I think spring baseball is probably the same kind of ass that spring soccer is. Good things the kids LIKE it, otherwise I’d really resent freezing my ass off every week!

  8. “I broke my promise to Jesus!”

  9. Ugh me too with the vacation. We are going to Hawaii mid-June and I’m perfectly on track to start the day we leave. BAH!

    I think I’m only going to stop having revelations about how crappy PMS makes me feel about the entire world and myself when I enter menopause and stop having it altogether.

    Am SO happy my son didn’t make the developmental (what they call the advanced) soccer team. It may make me a bad mom, but developmental plays in the Spring and the weather here is 100% pure crap that entire season. Happy to stick with Fall soccer because almost all of Fall is some of the nicest weather we have here. Outdoor Spring sports = total bullshit in the Pac NW.

  10. I’m glad life is good but I can’t believe you are getting snow in May.

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