It’s Puzzling

Happy Almost-Galentines Day to all my gals! And, I guess, a Happy Honorary Almost-Galentines Day to any guys who may be reading this. Are there any guys reading this? I have no idea, honestly.

It is tradition for me to bake heart-shaped items at this time of year; I will make cookies later in the week. I bake so much; along with cooking dinner, I feel like I spend a lot of time in the kitchen every day. I once tried to track my time for a week and before the first morning was over, I was so depressed I abandoned the whole thing. So much time in the kitchen.

I have been contemplating the idea of hobbies this week, thanks to an episode of my friend Stephany’s podcast, The Friendship Paradox (HI STEPHANY). The episode, talking about a variety of hobbies, had me down a semantic wormhole: if a hobby is something pleasurable to do in one’s free time, then is my whole life a hobby? If everything I do is a hobby, then is nothing a hobby?

I don’t consider baking a hobby, although I do enjoy it. Yoga and exercise might be considered hobbies, but to me they are daily life-affirming activities that are vital to my mental and emotional health, as well as to keep my physical body from crumbling and immobilizing. Are my daily walks a hobby? I do not consider them to be optional for myself or, more importantly, for Rex.

I just had A Moment, thinking of what life would be like if Rex DIDN’T get his 6 km of walking a day, lord have mercy.

Reading and writing, similarly, do not feel optional to me but I’m not making any money on either of them, so I suppose they would be considered hobbies as well.

One thing that absolutely is a hobby, and something I only do in the winter, is putting together a jigsaw puzzle. This is something my husband and I do together, except that he is very bossy and often takes over completely, which suits me if it’s a hard puzzle. I tend to like the puzzles that have a lot of little vignettes on them, which are easier to put together. We are working on one now that my older son gave me for Christmas, and friends, it is incredibly difficult.

My son knows I like easier puzzles but he also knows my deep love for QEII, so he gifted this to me. I told my husband to back off, in terms of her face and dress, and so he’s been working the boring rest of it. I did allow him to put together the scepter though.

But you guys, it is so hard! The purple cape is all slightly different shades of dark purple, and what makes it even harder is this:

Puzzle-loving friends will notice that all the pieces are the same general shape. It turns out that I look for shape a lot more than I look for colour; for a while I thought I’d have to get my husband to put the cape together, but I persisted, and finally finished it yesterday.

Weekly Reading

I have SO MUCH to say about the books I finished this week. Hold onto your reading hats!

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of ’80s and ’90s Teen Fiction. Did you ever wonder if you were a Jessica or an Elizabeth? Or, god forbid, an Enid? Did you think that you would drive your blond, size-6, All-American self to school in your red Fiat Spider and date the star of the basketball team while editing the school newspaper? Did you think you’d sneak around on your boyfriend’s motorcycle, get into an accident, and switch personalities with your identical twin sister? If so, then 25% of this book is for you! In 1985 I asked for – and still have – a Sweet Valley High box set for Christmas and boy, did I love those books. I wish this whole book was a SVH recap but alas, it is not. It reads like a really long blog post, which is to say it’s a casual and easy read.

I don’t mind a blog post-like read for a topic like this; and speaking of such, I would like to take this opportunity to link to a series of Judy Blume recaps – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, and Deenie – I wrote when I had a blog with my dear friends Hannah and Allison (HI HANNAH HI ALLISON), lo these nine years ago. Judy Blume is featured in Paperback Crush, but not a whole lot, since most of her books were written in the 70s.

Also featured in this book: the VC Andrews series. Who among us didn’t read Flowers In The Attic, horrifying ourselves with incredible tales of abuse and incest and poisoned doughnuts? What a ride those books were. I think I was probably about 11 when I read those books which, whoa. Imagine that happening these days.

Getting back to Paperback Crush: I enjoyed about half of it. I liked the nostalgia of those paperback romances geared towards tweens, written in the early 80s. I used to troll the racks at the library for them, and I remember a friend wasn’t allowed to read them because they weren’t “good books.” I thought then and I still think now that any books that kids will read are good books, and why specifically does society have a need to make girls and women feel shitty for liking things they like? Oh right, patriarchy. Anyway, as I said I only liked about half of this book because the other half was a deep dive into books I was too old to read, like the Babysitters Club and Goosebumps, basically anything written after 1987. Despite the very casual writing style – again, no shade, just facts – I enjoyed the nostalgia of this and recognized MANY covers (remember the Cheerleader series?). I am actually considering digging out my Sweet Valley collection and reading about Jessica’s tryst with a college age boy (THERE’S BEER AT THE PARTY).

Strange Sally Diamond. Within the first paragraph, I assumed that Sally Diamond was a woman with autism: she pretends she is deaf so as to not speak to people, she has no friends and lives in isolation with her father, she has trouble finding nuance and reading social cues, she pulls her hair and screams when she is upset. She is excellent when it comes to following directions, which is how she obtains sudden notoriety: her father had always jokingly said that when he died, he should just be put out with the trash, and that is exactly what Sally does. The resulting media storm brings to light her upsetting early life, and we as the reader discover that her antisocial personality was in fact the result of a horrific trauma in her early years, in addition to a lifetime of being somewhat of a psychological experiment at the hands of her father. This absolutely horrifying, sickening trauma is the subject of a secondary point of view, and we see dual lives and timelines.

As an aside, this made me think of Gabor Mate and his book about neurodivergence and traumatic or otherwise adverse childhood experiences. It brings up an interesting and unsettling idea regarding causation of neurodivergent-appearing behaviours, and I don’t know how I feel about that. If we follow the idea that early childhood experiences can imprint for a lifetime, well, that can both explain things and also put a heavy weight on parental responsibilities. Anyway. LET’S MOVE ON.

Two things can be true at the same time: first, I could not read this book fast enough. It has been a long time since I was this invested in a plot, even given the extremely disturbing subject matter. The second thing is that I found the writing style to be very clunky and lacking in nuance and subtlety, particularly the dialogue, particularly in the secondary point of view. This book really suffers from a “tell” instead of a “show” which I don’t like. However, as I said to my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE), if the book was better written, I would have had insane nightmares due to the terrifying backstory. As it was, well, it was just a book – I never forgot it was a story, I never got completely immersed – and so I slept just fine. The plot really moved, and it was a compelling read, despite the writing.

I noticed this beaver dam in progress on my walk the other day – I guess some other creatures are busy with their non-hobbies too. I hope you all have a lovely, heart-filled week of love and light and chocolate! xo

Comments

  1. I didn’t even notice the cake at first because you look so lovely in that photo, Nicole! Nice cake too, BTW :).

    “Hobby” is such an expansive word, isn’t it? It can encompass most activities–even the ones that seem essential.

    The Sally Diamond book and the Paperback Crush sound interesting. I may read the latter (but don’t need the disturbing details the former would supply to my nightmares haha).

    Love your picture of the beaver dam… Lovely sky and water too.

  2. I have thought so much about hobbies in the last 6 months or so! I think I would consider baking and reading hobbies, but not exercise. Walking in the woods rides the fine line of being exercise-ish, but something I do to bring my soul joy, so hobby. Even your description of Paperback Crush brought on such a wave of nostalgia; my daughter read some Babysitter’s Club Little Sisters books a couple of years ago and I felt like I was living in a memory when she talked about them…

  3. Lovely cake. I hope you enjoy your Galentine’s celebration.

    Beth and Noah are the puzzlers in our family but they only do it on vacation. Why do you only do it in the winter?

    • Steph, it’s because in the spring and summer I’m always wanting to be outside doing gardening or yard work, so I don’t have time to spend on a puzzle. I guess gardening is a hobby!

  4. jennystancampiano says

    Hmm… interesting question. Is anything we enjoy doing and don’t get paid for, a hobby? So then all the things I love outside of work would be hobbies, which would be a large part of my life. I’ll have to ponder this.
    Paperback Crush sounds sooooo good- for the first half. Like you, I was sadly too old for 90s books. i mean honestly I was too old for Sweet Valley High but I read them anyway, because reading should be fun!!!
    That puzzle… absolutely not. I see you’ve gotten all the “easy” parts done and have some big areas that are ALL BLACK, aaauuuugh! I want to see a photo when it’s completed.
    Enjoy your Galentine’s Day!!!

  5. I LOVED SVH. I was definitely Elizabeth (small wonder).

    That cake looks divine. And yes, so. much. time. in. the. kitchen. Or picking up kid detritus (or my detritus or my husband’s detritus). I want to go for a walk with Rex; he looks very enthusiastic <3

  6. Ugh I wish we were neighbors– you are so fun and delightful.

  7. That cake is so ‘sweet’. I don’t really bake anything specific for Valentine’s Day. When the kids were young we baked very time consuming, heart-shaped sugar cookies when I was a room mother for kindergarten, and maybe another time.

    You have me thinking about hobbies now. Hmm. I don’t know that I count my writing or my baking as a hobby. My dad collected stamps. I feel like that was a true hobby. I definitely don’t count my workouts as hobby. I’m with you on that – more essential than hobby.

    I never read the Sweet Valley books or the Babysitters Club. I think I was too old for them by the time they came out. Also, I just wasn’t that into reading back then. I don’t understand this, but my mom was a teacher and yet – I didn’t read much. My sister always had her nose in a book, so it wasn’t that our family didn’t appreciate reading. I think my lack of interest in reading partly stemmed from the fact that I was a very slow reader and my brother, Pat, made fun of me for that. And – no one told him not to. Ugh.

    That Strange Sally book sounds disturbing. I don’t think I’ll steer clear. I hate to think of how childhood horrors can impact children long term. Even though I fully believe that is true.

  8. I once did time tracking for about three quarters of a day, but started to get anxiety over how I spent my time didn’t align with my priorities and I just gave up. I like it when other people tell me how they spend their time, but I am not a lady who can share the minute details of how I spend my time, I guess.

    I joke that my biggest hobby is Hannah. Between our walks, training, grooming, and general hanging out, having a dog is a huge time commitment. Reading and blogging are my other hobbies and I’m always really fascinated by the number of bloggers who fail to list blogging as a hobby!

    • Yes, when I was listening to Stephany’s podcast she said that blogging was one of her biggest hobbies, and I thought…well, I guess me too! I do spend a lot of time and energy on it!
      Time tracking – this is exactly the trouble. I mean, when I did it I think within the first morning I had spent 2+ hours doing kitchen things and it was just too depressing to go on!

  9. Puzzles – I just can’t do them but my oldest and husband are quite good at them – except for the Peanuts Christmas puzzle that took over 2.5 months to complete – so many pieces of the same colour! I love that Queen one. Also, I loved all those books you mentioned,l! Oh Sweet Valley High. And Judy Blume stands the test of time: my youngest loves realistic fiction and there seems to be less of this in YA because fantasy is the big thing. I found her the Judy Blume books and she’s actually doing a comparative essay for school on Deenie and Starring Sally J. Freedman herself!! Also, I was asked last week what my hobbies are as well and I was stumped – for all the same reasons you mentioned… 🙂

    • You know, it’s interesting, I reread all of Judy Blume probably six or seven years ago, and wow, they were still incredibly good! Now, SVH – pretty sure it would not stand the test of time but I am going to find out!
      2.5 months for a puzzle! Aieee!

  10. Awww, I love the heart cake. And now I want some cake! I hope you enjoyed your Galentine’s Day party. ❤️

    I absolutely loved you saying your whole life is a hobby. I am here for that kind of energy, my friend. Yet I sat here for a full five minutes, breaking down hobbies and things I do to keep myself on this planet or my body running smoothly, before reflecting on the definition of the word hobby that you mentioned. I think some things I do in my “leisure time” are:

    making music playlists
    yoga
    watching documentaries/ real housewives

    But does writing fit in there, given what I consider “leisure time” and what I don’t? Man, you’ve made me think harder on a Monday morning than usual. 🤣🤣

  11. The hobby question made me stop and think. I think for me, it’s blogging and reading. Reading is essential to who I am and I need to read in order to fall asleep so it’s almost not a hobby but at it’s heart, it is a hobby for me.

    I’m feeling a bit salty about Valentine’s Day this morning. I made Valentine’s for the boys at the library on Saturday and put them in the front pocket of the diaper bag… and then Phil forgot the diaper bag at his mom’s yesterday (she lives over 30 min away so it’s not worth the drive to go and retrieve said diaper bag with said Valentines)! So now I have to remake the dang Valentines and we really don’t have craft supplies because, well, I’m a math major with boys who have basically no interest in art. I’m sure they’ll be happy with whatever I make. There is a mailbox for Valentines at Taco’s school so I can’t NOT make one because he would be the sad kid that does not get any Valentines… so I’ll be making ugly misshapen hearts and hoping the kids don’t look too closely.

    Ooh that nostalgic book about 80s fiction sounds right up my alley. I also read Flowers in the Attic and many other books in that series. It was so creepy but so entertaining! I don’t like people poo poo on what others want to read which is why I let Paul read what he wants to read, much of which is Dog Man books which are kind of brainless. But he finds them entertaining so who am I to judge?! I just make sure to read chapter books with him which I think are excellent so I can have a little bit of influence on his reading.

    • Oh how annoying about the Valentines! It’s probably too late to go buy a pack of them too. What a bother!
      I know what you mean about reading – it’s kind of a need, but also a hobby.
      I think it’s so important to allow kids to pick what they want to read – that’s what makes them love reading. If I think of it in reverse, I would hate it if someone didn’t allow me to choose my own books. I didn’t love the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, but my kids liked it, so *shrug*

  12. Oooooh I am very interested in the hobby/not-a-hobby discussion. If I think about my own hobbies, I would say… reading? Even though reading feels not optional? It is also something that I do almost purely for pleasure. Writing, while probably technically a hobby, does NOT feel like a hobby; in fact, I once got offended to the point of tears when my husband referred to my writing as a hobby. But if it’s not a hobby… then what is it? A pursuit?

    I have never read Flowers in the Attic!!!!!

    • A PURSUIT! I like that a lot. I am with you – reading does not feel optional, but I guess it’s a hobby?
      You’ve never read Flowers in the Attic, then I guess you will never know all about sibling sex due to hormones and being locked in an attic by your grandparents for years. IT IS A WEIRD BOOK, SUZANNE.

  13. Oh Lordy, I’ve done that brand of puzzle and I feel like they all have huge sections of similarly colored pieces. I’ve most definitely resorted to sorting the pieces by shape and plugging away one after the other until I get it.

    Right now Doggo is into everything so puzzles are not a possibility right now. She doesn’t really take formal walks yet, but every day she’ll venture a little further down our street. In the meantime I’ve had quite the tour of our backyard.

    Sally Diamond left an impression for sure! In theory I would be up for reading another Liz Nugent book someday, but it’s going to be a long time in the future from now. I heard a review of one of her other books that said that the villain and the bad stuff was even more intense than SSD – I’m just like “some things do not need to be improved upon”.

    • Birchy, I need to talk to you about SSD! I seem to remember you saying that there were two endings written for that book, and there was a happier ending in the US version? Pretty sure I did not read the US version, because the ending was, whoa. Anyway, we should take this offline because SPOILERS but I would love to talk about it! I did not think the writing was great and that kept me from being too distressed about the very upsetting premise of the book. Anyway, LET’S TALK.
      We didn’t do puzzles when Barkley was a puppy (I didn’t do anything then, I was just overwhelmed by life!) but when he got old, like 13, he used to steal and eat the occasional piece. That year, we would put together a puzzle and lo and behold, a piece or two would be missing. That silly dog!

  14. very interesting thought on hobbies! I can think a few like reading, running, baking/cooking as hobbies. I guess whether you make money while doing your hobbies, whether you can choose not to do one day without failing someone (as responsibility), would be good filter for me.
    I guess once in retirement, no more work obligations, one can definitely live everyday doing hobbies, right?
    I recall reading in an old post of yours that you decided to become yoga teacher one day. How did you find that shift changed your perception/enjoyment of yoga?

    • Hi Coco! I’m so glad you visited! What a great question about yoga. I did teach for seven years and I taught a variety of classes, but my main focus was seniors’ yoga. I would say that becoming a yoga teacher and doing the training greatly increased my love of yoga. My own practice I think was enhanced by what I had learned, particularly as I got older, and I just loved teaching so much that between my own practice and teaching, it just became my whole life. I never think of yoga as a hobby, it’s more like something I love so much, it feels like more than a hobby, if that makes sense, even if I’m not teaching right now.

  15. Hmmm…hobbies are what you do for fun; so I guess I would have to say blogging, reading and the occasional jigsaw puzzle for me. And, yes, your puzzle looks HARD! But imagine the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when you finally finish it!

  16. I feel like the ‘is cooking a hobby’ breaks down to how much time and effort you put into it. If you dislike cooking, and only do it because, hey, we gotta eat, probably not a hobby. If you think about creative, different things you could cook/bake, and then do them, it is probably a hobby. I don’t know. When people ask me what my hobbies are, I generally answer with things I enjoy doing. Reading, watching movies, walking my dog (sigh), cooking, blogging, more recently maybe I would add yoga.

    Oh goodness, that puzzle with all of the SAME SHAPES! That is extra for sure.

  17. Happy Galentine’s week! I love that you celebrate with All The hearts.
    Girl, that puzzle. No thank you. I too like puzzles with little vignettes, details. That’s my flavor. All black/purple and the same size? WHO MAKE THIS? satan?

  18. Your cake is gorgeous! I’m very impressed! Hobbies are wonderful, and I have SO many of them! Sewing, drawing, and crafting are the obvious ones. I guess blogging is a hobby for me, but cooking is not! I don’t think I have the patience for a jigsaw puzzle! But the one you’re working on is gorgeous! What do you do with the puzzles you finish?

    • Thanks Michelle! I LOVE YOUR HOBBIES. They bring me vicarious joy.
      After I finish a puzzle I break it up and put it back in the box! It’s like one of those zen sand mandalas I guess! Practicing non attachment over here!

  19. Awww, I used to make a heart cake every Valentine’s when all my kids were here. Last week, I made a cherry peach pie and tomorrow I will make cream cheese brownies for my honey.

    We just started a new puzzle and I’m like, WHY is this so hard? Well, exactly like yours, the pieces are all the same shape. It’s impossible! My hobbies are the same as yours, if we’re calling them that. I also love to travel plan and will spend months planning a weeklong trip. It’s rather obsessive.

    Speaking of obsessions, that was me with Judy Blume books and Nancy Drew before that. I did not read Flowers in the Attic, but I did read some inappropriate books during my teen years, looking for the juicy parts🤣🤣🤣

    • Ooooh did you read Clan of the Cave Bear? That was pretty juicy. I stole a copy from my aunt, back in the day.
      WHY ARE THE PIECES THE SAME SHAPE? It makes it so much harder!

      • That title doesn’t sound familiar. I just remember reading Sidney Sheldon books in our high school library instead of going to study hall.

  20. I am so glad you’re a puzzler! We are jigsaw enthusiasts, particularly wasgij’s, which if you haven’t tried, I highly recommend.

  21. Oh, that is one huge cake!! And how pretty and all suited for Valentine’s Day!!!

    I used to enjoy cooking. And I still do when I have eaters! LOL I also clean as I go. I used to not be able to sit down to eat unless the kitchen is in order so I cleaned as I went. But of course, this went by the wayside when you have tight schedules or have guests who are hungry and it’d be rude to make them wait while I cleaned the kitchen!

    And oh, man…I am in awe of you all who love puzzles. I have no patience for it — maybe because I’m awful at it? Maybe I’m spatial-challenged (or whatever it may be that makes me not be able to picture where little pieces go/fit with each other)?

    I wish I could get back to reading voraciously like I used to be all my life. But something changed in the last few years…blog reading has been my drug of choice. LOL I did read 5 books in a row in Dec/Jan (within a space of 2 weeks) but I also feel bad when I do this thing because all my chores get ignored. Sigh…

    • Clean as you go twins! I hate having a messy kitchen, and I was never a person who could leave dishes in the sink overnight.
      I understand what you mean about reading and making the time for it. There are only so many hours in a day!

  22. This is something my husband and I do together, except that he is very bossy and often takes over completely, which suits me if it’s a hard puzzle. Same story here. I get assigned to put together some small detail or search for a particular color. It’s slightly annoying, but on the other hand Z-D enjoys complexity more than I so… 🤷‍♀️

    • Hahaha so what you’re saying, Ally, is that you and I might not be the best to put a puzzle together? This one is KILLING ME. We are now at the part where everything is kind of grey or black and it’s SO HARD!

  23. It’s been so much fun to read through all of these comments of people talking about what makes a hobby! Fascinating! You already know what I consider my hobbies: reading, blogging, TV, and podcasts. While reading is something I feel I *have* to do, I also think there are a lot of other aspects to reading that make it hobby-like: listening to bookish podcasts, talking about books, working on my reading spreadsheet, going to bookstores, etc.

    I am SO on the fence about Strange Sally Diamond. I hear such great things but I think the traumatic subject matter might be too difficult for me. Blergh.

    I also read Paperback Crush and enjoyed it for the nostalgic covers, but I also didn’t love the writing style either. It was fine for what it was, but I was expecting something different.

  24. I guess my first automatic hobby answer is knitting (and, relatedly, buying yarn), but reading books and reading blogs, and blogging myself, probably count too! Watching hockey, too, that should count as it’s something I enjoy doing in my spare time. It’s an interesting topic to consider!

  25. Moe Michaud says

    Hey Nicole, Moe here. We miss you. I love reading your blogs, its like having you back. I have been trying to start a hobby for a month now. Macrame. I bought the yarn and it was not cheap, went into the woods and picked up a stick for the anchor part but it still sits there. lol Someday.

  26. Happy Belated Galentines Day! Your comment about hobbies is interesting, because if a hobby is something we do not get paid for, then life IS a hobby. Or is it something that we like to do, so therefore doing dishes is not a hobby, but baking cakes is? If that is true, than only a portion of life would be a hobby.

    I used to read SVH and I actually had the boxed set from I think their ~ 6th or 7th grade years. I went back and read it a few months ago and it was pretty bad! I mean, it was great when I was that age, as I guess I related or something, but reading it as an adult, I just want to throttle both of them. Jessica is such a dick and Elizabeth is such a pushover!

    • Okay, I need to reread the SVH books! I have to see this for myself (I’m sure they are TERRIBLE). I reread Judy Blume as an adult and wow, they are still really good.
      Unrelated, or maybe related because it’s a blog thing, I commented on your latest post and it disappeared! I’ll have to go back and resubmit, maybe?

      • The weird thing is that your first comment was in my spam but I have no idea how it got there as I had already replied to it (on my blog!) I reinstated your comment but cannot find my reply for the life of me, so I re-replied! Happy Friday!

  27. bibliomama2 says

    I kept remembering I had missed commenting while I was away from home and forgetting when I was here.
    I never read SVH, although I feel like it would have been in my wheelhouse. I kind of always had the impression that one of the twins was more of a bitch than should have been allowed to continue, is that inaccurate?
    The puzzle Angus gave me for Christmas, and worked with me on until he left was SO HARD. I did a slightly easier one next, and now might go back to a hard one – sometimes when I’m not doing well, sitting there staring at the pieces is calming. Although the pieces all being the same configuration would END me – piece shape is SO important.

    • No, it’s completely accurate – the bitchy twin was Jessica, except for the book in which Elizabeth had a motorcycle accident, went into a coma, came out of a coma, and somehow had switched personalities with her twin.
      We did finish the puzzle and it FELT VERY MUCH LIKE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

  28. What an interesting thing to contemplate (and what an interesting conversation in the comment section) about what makes a hobby a hobby.
    The official definition is so vague – ” something that you enjoy doing in your spare time”.
    What exactly is spare time in people’s lives? Anything outside of work and household chores?

    I generally do call running my hobby, but exercise in general is a non-negotiable for me, so does it really count as a hobby? I do spend a significant amount of time on it besides work and sleep though.

    Sometimes I feel like a hobby should be something just “for the fun of it”… like puzzling, which doesn’t have any real purpose (I guess – although I would like to believe that it keeps cognitive abilities sharp).

    Really a lot of food for thought.

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