I AM living life to the fullest, dammit.

My friend Nan came across the “50 Ways To Live Life To The Full” on the Daily Mail site and described her reaction to each of those 50 ways.  I don’t know, I kind of feel like I’m living life to the fullest right now, given that I had popcorn for lunch instead of my usual tomato/cucumber/hummous sandwich.  However, I am going to write about my reaction to this list of fifty events, and I encourage you to do it as well!  It’s a fun Friday meme!  Memes.  Like it’s 2008.

1. Stop worrying about money
Right off the bat, I find this annoying.  You know, MC Hammer stopped worrying about money and Hammerland was taken into receivership.  Did you know the vast majority of lottery winners are broke within five year?  Maybe you SHOULD worry about money, at least a little.


2. Stop worrying about what other people think
Well, that depends, doesn’t it?  I don’t worry too much if people think I’m a spoiled princess of a housewife, but I would be a little worried if people thought I was an asshole or mean to my kids or something.  We do live in a society.


3. Take two holidays a year
Oh, I’ve got this one! 

4. Enjoy little comforts in life
Did I mention I had popcorn for lunch?

5. Experience different cultures
This is an important point, I think.  I agree, Daily Mail!  But not to the point where I will go to a luau in Hawaii or anything; I have a hard time with the whole pig thing.

6. Work to live rather than live to work
But what if you enjoy your job? 

7. Pay off all debts
Done.

8. Be true to yourself
I am going to quote Nan on this one: “Unless “yourself” is an asshole. In that case, be better than yourself.”

9. Concentrate on what you have instead of what you don’t have
Yes, this is important.  I actually have to tell my kids this often.

10. Use money on experiences rather than saving for a rainy day
This is silly.  I strongly disagree, Daily Mail.  This kind of entitlement attitude is what leads to debt crises.

11. Make time for family and friends
Pretty much ALL my time is spent with family and friends.  I’m a stay at home mom who hangs out in the playground for fun.

12. Try all types of food
Well…no.  There are many, many things that I have no interest in trying.

13. Find true love
Aw, I totally have a Shmoopie.

14. Travel to at least 25 different foreign countries
These are the countries I have travelled to: US, Mexico, The Netherlands, Italy, Greece, Turkey, and Egypt.  So, I guess I only have 18 to go?

15. Go outside more
I am outside ALL THE TIME.  During the winter this is a major point of contention for me but yet the dog must be walked and the children must be taken and picked up from school. 

16. Learn a new language
I am currently learning Pokemon, and it makes me want to poke-my-eyes-out.

17. Be well thought of by family and friends
I think this is true!  Or at least everyone is too polite to say if it isn’t.


18. Help a member of your family out when they really need it

I treated a wart on one of my children’s toe recently.  I think that really counts.

19. Lose a stone in weight
A stone is seven pounds.  I am not going to lose seven pounds.  I lost five pounds when I had the norovirus in January and I looked like actual death. edited to add: my god, a stone is fourteen pounds, not seven!  If I lost fourteen pounds I would look like Skeletor.

20. Treat each day like it’s your last
This is a terrible idea!  If it was my last day on earth I’d eat and drink like a Roman emporer, and cry a lot.

21. Visit all of Britain’s historical landmarks
I would love to do that, actually.  But I think the Daily Mail is a bit biased.

22. Book an impulsive last minute holiday
This will never happen.  My husband is the holiday planner extraordinaire and he plans vacations a good two years in advance.

23. Volunteer for a good cause
I volunteer for so much stuff that I actually had to cut myself off from volunteering.

24. Take up a challenge
This summer I’m going to challenge myself to actually organize all the children’s schoolwork that I have saved over the year, but if the past is any indication, I won’t get very far because I’ll end up reading a Mother’s Day card from preschool and curl up in a corner sobbing.

25. Go on safari
Oooh!  I want to do this!  I always thought this would be what my husband and I could do on our 25th wedding anniversary.  I’ll get him to start planning for that on our 23rd anniversary.


26. Blow a load of money in one shopping trip, just because you can
This happens every time I a) go to Costco or b) go to Lululemon.

27. Learn a new instrument
I already play the piano at a pretty high level, how much more do you want from me?

28. Be married for longer than 20 years
Talk to me in nine years.

29. Have enough money left for the grandchildren to enjoy
Oooooh, grandchildren! 

30. Start a family
Done.

31. Earn more than your age
What does this mean?  I have to earn more than $38 a year?  I don’t understand this question.

32. Have a pet
Barkley!

33. Drive a really fast car
My husband has a really fast car; I am not allowed to drive it.  It’s okay, I prefer rocking out my minivan anyway.  Windows open, kids in the back, with Gangnam Style cranked up.  LIKE A BOSS.

34. Travel alone
I went to Saskatchewan by myself last year, does that count?

35. Be able to keep the kids on the straight and narrow
So far, so good.

36. Meet strangers
I talk to people all the time.  In grocery stores, post office, dog park, playground…I think I’m good.  In fact, I think maybe sometimes people wish I talked to them less.

37. Move away from home to an unfamiliar place
I’d like to move to a warmer climate, but who am I kidding.  I’m going to be here until I die.

38. Have a one night stand
GROSS.

39. Pass your driving test
Yay, I got this!

40. Get a degree
I have two!  Extra points!

41. Rescue someone so that you’re a hero for a little while
I’m rescuing you all from boredom by doing this list!  Does that mean I’m your hero?  It doesn’t?  You’re still bored?  Oh.

42. Date someone exciting but completely wrong for you
Well, I have done this, but not since I left my youth behind.  Thankfully.  I don’t think my husband would be into this idea.

43. Get a promotion
What would a promotion BE for a stay-at-home-mom-blogger?  I mean, I have been promoted in my life, but not for the past decade or so.

44. Reach the desired career peak by age 40
I’m hoping to get my cookbook out before I turn 40, so maybe that will be it.

45. Have an all-night drinking session
I don’t think I’ve ever done this.  I’m just not a night owl.

46. Perform something on stage in front of others
When I was in high school, I played Amanda Wingfield in The Glass Menagerie and it was the pinnacle of my acting career.  I really got that Southern accent DOWN.  I also, completely inappropriately, played Shelly in Buried Child.  In high school.  Incest and infanticide – the perfect high school play.

47. Snog a stranger
Snog means kiss, right?  Then I’ve totally done this.  Unless it means “have sex with” in which case I haven’t.

48. Plan a surprise party
Hahahaha.  Surprise parties are the WORST.  The guest of honour almost always is totally humiliated by it, or is wearing sweatpants and has dirty hair, or something.  I was once at a surprise party where the guest of honour came into the house, totally bitching about his wife, who had corralled everyone into the dark living room, and…surprise!  Also – ALSO – my mom and aunts were planning a surprise party for my grandpa on the occasion of his 95th birthday.  I kept telling them that I strongly disagreed with this idea.  Surprising a 95 year old man is a terrible idea!  Yet, they still went ahead with it (and fortunately, it was a success, but STILL.)  Remember the surprise party Megan Draper threw for Don?  It almost ended their brief marriage!  Lessons to be learned.

49. Embark on adrenaline packed activities such as sky diving or bungee jumping
I am never, ever, ever going to sky dive or bungee jump, but being on an airplane with lots of turbulence on the way to Palm Springs was pretty adrenaline packed.  Especially since I was actually bouncing on my seat and thought we were all going to die.

50. Spend time with children even if they aren’t yours
Two words: BOOK FAIR.

Comments

  1. I didn’t know you could play the piano! Learning is fun!

    This looks like a bit of a riot, actually. I may do my own this weekend IF I get my treasured Mothers Day request, namely, time alone to think.

  2. Well I’ve already commented on Nan’s blog about this. Nevertheless, I have more to say (perhaps my #41 should be stop writing lengthy comments on everyone else’s blogs…). ANYWAY,

    #14: until youngest is done with daycare and we get more money saved for college, I’m not going to make much progress towards visiting 25 countries. I did the travel Europe thing when I was 20 and that’s about it. I’m actually ok with this.

    #19: The only times I’ve lost a stone or more in weight without being really sick was after I had babies. Otherwise, this is a terrible idea for me.

    #22: totally impossible with my work. I have to book vacations a year in advance. Sigh.

    #48: AGH! I’d hate to be the victim of a surprise party and, therefore, refuse to plan them for anyone else.

    I guess I feel generally like I’ve either done most of the things on the list that I want to do and/or am just never going to do the others I don’t want to do, so stop trying to tell me what to do Daily Mail!

  3. according to this list..my life sucks and I don’t know how to live but I have no debt..I barely have half the point achieved and some points I have way too much (like the one about blowing money on yourself.. I do it at least once a month ..hell ya!) loll..list you suck! go SNOG yourself loll

  4. Beached Librarian says

    You and Nan are awesome. I love when people slap these types of lists in the face 🙂 As I commented on her blog, a lot of this is only stuff that privileged people could do. And, now that I think about it, it’s very much based on a stereotypical Western lifestyle (marriage, cars, kids, etc.).

  5. My thoughts:

    #5- There are Luaus that you *may* approve of…Yes, they still serve pig (which you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, obviously), but you are spared the whole “digging it out of the pit in the ground” visual. My one demand was “I DON’T WANT TO SEE A PIG ON A STAKE”, and Andrew was like “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED”.

    #14- Much easier when you’re a three to four hour flight from two dozen countries, ENGLAND. Here, if you want to skip the US, you’re on a plane for 5+ hours, and that only gets you to Mexico or the Caribbean. Sure, you can log 25 countries, but you’ll be spending months of time (cumulatively!) in the air.

    #38- Maybe it was a typo. “Have ONE night stand”. GREAT!! I have two (four if you count the two in the guest bedroom!) Can I roll those extra points over to the other challenges?

    #42- That is terrible advice, unless the Daily Mail is offering to pay for the therapy you’ll need afterward.

    #47- What is this, VE Day? THAT IS HOW YOU GET COLD SORES (and/or divorced!), DAILY MAIL. (And I thought “snog” meant kiss- at least that is how my English friend Rob always used it)

  6. I like the way you and Nan did this too. We’re going to a dinner party right now but if I’m sober enough when I get home I’ll do it. Hey, maybe I can snog a stranger, get a promotion and set some kids on the straight and narrow while I’m out. Just say no to drugs, kids on the street. And floss. you’re welcome.

  7. I love your list! YAY!

    When I first read Daily Mail’s list I carefully went back to the top of the article and read it again. I was looking to see if they admitted the polled demographic was upper-class eighteen year olds. They weren’t listed as the source, but I’m confident this list definitely speaks ONLY to that cohort.

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  9. A stone is 14 pounds?
    Who decided that weird number?
    I had to chuckle at the whole “well unless you’re an asshole bit”. Sometimes people don’t know that. They should be reminded.
    I tried liver.
    That will be my last.
    Note to you: Liver is gross.

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  11. WORD to your comments on surprise parties. I am getting crankier and crankier about them as I age. The whole idea is BAD, for both planners and the planee.

    Will be writing to my congressman shortly on this issue.

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