Love Sandwich

I was so excited to open up this month’s O Magazine, and not just because it contained Adam Glassman’s spring fashion look book – which turned out to be a disappointment, anyway.  Sorry, Adam, a silky pajama top is NOT work appropriate even when paired with a pencil skirt; and let’s not even get started on orange and/or yellow pants.  No, I was excited because it was the First! Ever! Food Issue! and on the cover – right on the folded over part – was….STEDMAN!  And inside was an interview with him talking about what Oprah cooks for him – including, but not limited to, something that is called a Love Sandwich.  The recipe was not at all what came to mind when I heard the words Love Sandwich, it wasn’t anything even remotely slutty or Kama Sutra-ish.  The Love Sandwich, anticlimatically enough, involves a panini press, basil, tomatoes and avocado, among other things.  It does not involve anything bedroom- or Gayle-related.  Actually, minus the turkey and scallions (shudder), it looks pretty yummy.  I wouldn’t mind a Love Sandwich.

I was so excited to see Stedman on the cover that I was vibrating a little; I leaned over on the couch to show my husband, who responded in a puzzled way.  Why, he wondered, did I look like that?  Baby, it’s not every day one gets to see a narwhal.

Sometimes it is like he doesn’t understand me at all.  For example, I discovered that this weekend – yes, THIS WEEKEND – is the start of Daylight Savings Time and, as usual, I started to go off the rails.  My husband responded in an irritated sort of way, saying that I was being a) overly dramatic, and b) irrational, which made me respond in a “No, YOU’RE overly dramatic and irrational” kind of way, complete with hanging up the phone. 

It’s true, as my husband pointed out, that my children did adjust fairly quickly to a three hour time difference in Maui and again at home, but it is also true that the week following the “Spring Forward” is a crabby one, given that children are unable to sleep at their regularly scheduled time and then must be woken up at their regularly scheduled time, contributing to a sleep deficit which leads to HELL.  ASK ANY TEACHER OR CHILD CARE PROFESSIONAL.  Even if my children do adjust to the time difference, I shall still rally against it, in solidarity with mothers everywhere.  It is antiquated, it is unnecessary, and the first person to say “but it’s so nice to have light in the evening” I shall stab.  Or, if I don’t physically stab them, I shall stab them in my mind and then give them the furry eyebrow.  Where I live, in a couple months it will be light until TEN O’CLOCK.  I think that is more than sufficient.  I wake up at 4:45 am, I do not care about light in the evenings, thank you very much.   

Now I’ve got myself all worked up again.  I need to go out and buy myself a panini press; I think a Love Sandwich may be the ticket to happiness.  There is pepper jack cheese!  And avocado!  Mmm.  Baby.  Love Sandwich.


  1. I have already bought a bottle of recovery wine for next week because yes, the goddamn spring time change is FAT HAIRY ASS.

    And is there still a Stedman? I thought he was supplanted by Gayle years ago.

  2. I’m surprised Stedman is still around.

    I hate time changes. Ugh.

  3. The difference between enduring a time change for Hawaii and DST is that going to Hawaii is worth it, DST is a pointless frustrating event with little benefit (at least for me since I live in the Pac NW and because of the rain it’s dark here at 5:00 regardless whether it’s DST or not for about 8 months of the year). I hate DST with a passion and believe some politician could be elected by a waive of moms if he/she ran on the “stop DST” platform.

    OK must stop ranting and go regain perspective (HA!)

  4. Confession: Oprah makes me vomit in my mouth a little. And if she was going to have her significant other on the cover shouldn’t it have been a picture of Gayle?
    Just saying.
    And another confession. I had no idea that it was daylight savings time this weekend. Doh

  5. DST — again?! Thank god I never got around to changing the clock in my car when the time changed in the fall. I feel so efficient now — one less thing I have to deal with!

  6. Tell me if this makes sense to you…I was saying to my husband that the entire daylight savings/standard time melee could be completely eliminated if we just split the difference ONCE and moved the clocks back 30 minutes from the current time. Then we stay there forever and ever! I don’t understand the whole switching to and fro every few months. Doesn’t my idea make sense? It makes sense to me. We adjust once and once only forever. I think it’s brilliant. How can I get this to happen?

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