"That Time of the Month" Emotional Breakdown, and Cougars

I saw Denzel Washington on a Letterman rerun, and he was talking about the difference between a house and a home, and how when your children move out it ceases to become a home and just becomes a house and at that point I teared up thinking of my empty nest that is coming in thirteen years or so.  Then I decided to watch a NYPD Blue rerun but accidentally chose an episode that featured a little boy who was abducted, sexually abused, and killed.  GAH!  Fortunately I remembered how the episode ended while I was only about fifteen minutes into it.  Eject!  Eject!  Unfortunately I remembered how the episode ended so I thought sadly about the white bird symbolically flying away at the end.  Then I had a dream in which I was infuriated with my husband, and so I woke up feeling infuriated with him, but unfortunately a) I couldn’t remember the substance of the dream so I couldn’t adequately express myself and b) it was just a stupid dream.
My esthetician is, as of this week, closing up her shop as she is changing careers.  I’m very happy for her but quite sad for myself.  It’s difficult to find a good esthetician; I have a hard time feeling comfortable lying there in my underwear for just anyone.  Probably just like everyone else on the planet, except maybe the Victoria Secret model I read about whose favourite hanging-around-the-house outfit is “panties”.  JUST PANTIES.  Imagine being the UPS guy for that house.  Is it me or does that seem totally odd?  Maybe it’s just me.  I could never be a nudist, primarily because I’m always cold and also ew.  Imagine sitting naked on a leather couch that someone else also sat on naked?  Ew.
Anyway, back to the travesty of my career-changing esthetician.  It’s difficult for me not to take this personally – she announced her decision to change careers around the same time as my varicose vein stripping.  I can’t help but wonder if my furry, post-surgery Yeti-like body drove her to it.  Intellectually, I’m fairly sure NOT, but emotionally….
I took the boys to the zoo in my endeavor to make the expensive zoo passes pay off, and I came across the following very fun “Guess What Animal I Am Based On My Paw Prints” answer:
Doesn’t it kind of make you wish you had a t-shirt with that printed on it? 


  1. Do you have the boys chained together in that last photo?

  2. why don’t you ask your esthetician if she can recommend somebody else? =)

  3. It’s totally not you. Although if your dentist closes up shop maybe you should take a good hard look in the mirror…nah. It’s not you.

  4. Did your esthetician change careers to sell tshirts that say ”I’m a cougar”? If she did, you may havve had something to do with it ;p

  5. Good luck on finding a new esthetician.

    That picture would be a little awesome to have on a shirt.

  6. One time I was at the Calgary Zoo and we caught the cougars in the midst of a special moment. It is actually one of the most memorably things that I’ve ever seen. And heard. Because cougars aren’t quiet when they’re going at it.

    Also, wearing JUST panties is weird. I don’t care if you have a rocking body or not. Weird.

  7. Did the kids get to watch the cougar’s special time?

    I am sure it wasn’t you. Good luck finding a new person.


  8. Hanging out in just panties: no. Engaging in naked alone time: yes.

    What’s your aesthetician’s new career? If you say “landscape architect” I’m going to laugh myself silly.

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