Online Friends: They’re Real and They’re Spectacular

Thank you all for your very kind words, and for sending thoughts and prayers to Alison’s family. I was reflecting this weekend on the nature of online friendship, and how such friends are real – and spectacular! – and how wonderful it is to be part of a community that is not limited by geography.

So it was kind of funny timing that I saw one of my online friends had posted a piece that was a “Dear Mommy Blogger” post. I don’t particularly feel like linking to it, because while the message itself has some merit, the delivery is vicious, mean, and shaming. Allow me to give you a screen-shot snippet:


It kind of made me laugh ruefully, because here I am, celebrating the relationships between bloggers and twitter-ers and such, and so happy about how the internet can bring people together from all over the continent, and feeling the loss of a friend and the warmth and love of other friends, and this woman wants me to know that our blogs fucking suck and nobody is reading my shit.

Which, well. I realize that this is directed towards sponsored posts and brand ambassadors and the like, but really. If you’ve been reading the Boyhouse for any length of time, you will realize that I do not write sponsored posts in this space. I do like to give shout-outs to my friends’ companies, as well as to giant corporations, but I don’t get paid for it, nor do I want to. I have, however, written sponsored posts on other websites, and, as I said to Hannah (HI HANNAH), I’d probably sell my soul for a Lululemon sponsorship if it meant complimentary Wunder Unders and Tri-Y tops. If they threw in a Ta Ta Tamer? Well. I would welcome my new Luon overlords, is what I’m saying.

Anyway. People have a right to make money, and we may not like the way some people choose to earn, but there’s no need to be an asshole about it.

I might be slightly sensitive because I had a friend, a real-life, have-coffee-with, chat-with-often kind of friend, who dropped me after I started writing for the YMC website. She thought I was selling myself out, which is a ridiculous idea if you know how much website writers make. If I was really selling myself out, I’d do it for more money, you know? Or maybe I wouldn’t have left my job, all those years ago, in which I worked as a quantitative analyst for a large multinational corporation.

Ah well, we all have our issues, I suppose.

How was your weekend? We spent ours at my parents’ house; it was my mom’s birthday, and we had a lovely time. My husband took me on a 16.5 kilometer bike ride yesterday morning, and when we got back the kids wanted us all to go out together. The upshot was that I rode 23.5 kilometers, and it was the first ride of the season. It felt great until I got into the car this morning – MY BUM. Yoga felt awesome until I got to my seated postures. I felt like I needed a cushion or something. The good news is that my actual muscles aren’t sore, which I thought they might be. But my poor behind, I am telling you.

Also – this week marks the 30 year anniversary of Top Gun! We all know how I feel about that movie. Wait, you don’t? I wrote all about Life Lessons From Top Gun on Throwing It Back last year. Damn, that is a good movie. Talk to me, Goose.


  1. Wow, I think that blogger has a serious attitude problem or jealousy issue. Either way, if she/he doesn’t like what people post don’t read it, ignore it.

    Top Gun – really, 30 years, OMG, I’m old…I won’t mention if you are Nicole, smiles.

  2. This post gives me a lot of feelings. I think we live in an amazing time where people can work from home doing jobs that didn’t even exist when we graduated from college. I may not care for a friend’s website content, or the direct-sales product another friend sells from home, but if they’re happy then who cares? Also, “If I was really selling myself out, I’d do it for more money, you know?” WORD.

  3. I will admit I have read and commented on blogs– sometimes for longer than I should– in an attempt to get that person to mine, but if the blog’s not interesting to me, it doesn’t last. And furthermore I don’t assume if it’s not interesting to me it’s not interesting to anyone. Which is a long way of saying I read your shit because I want to read your shit. I think what I like best about it is your voice and your slightly wry way of looking at things.

  4. “Welcome my new Luon overlords” HA ha, I love that. Same with me for new books by authors I actually want to read, with sexy slippery covers – send me all your Fred Vargas and I will give you my writing soul. Wow, that post is just breathtakingly bitchy, isn’t it? I always admire the way you maintain your genuineness even while writing sponsored posts for YMC, and not everyone strikes that balance so gracefully, but like we’re all saying, if it’s helping them make a living and someone’s reading, why on earth does anyone have to be such a c-word about it? Whatever. She doesn’t get to be in our special club.

  5. You know, Nicole… you are about the only person who can call a person an “asshole” and still sound nice. 😀

    I love that about you.

    To each his own, right? (or hers or theirs… you get my point!)

    I think people should save their rage for much more important things, but that’s just me, maybe.

    I saw the cake you made for your Mom yesterday! Wow! It was gorgeous!

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