Sex Ed, Who-Gives-A-Fuck-About-Volunteering, and The Simpsons

Today I realized that as of tomorrow, there are only three more weeks left of school! June is a bit of an odd month, isn’t it? On the one hand, I’m desperately ready for the summer to begin – lazy days, no more running back and forth to the school six times a day, no more volunteering (more on that later). I’m ready for sunshine, fun, and unscheduled days. But on the other hand, I’m really trying not to wish my life away since time flies quickly enough without me wishing for these beautiful, sunny, gardening-full days to be over. Also, I’m a little puzzled as to how I’m going to get all my work-at-home work done when the kids are home. I’ll figure it out, I’m sure, but at the moment I’m wondering how I’ll strike the right balance between “meeting deadlines in a reasonable manner” and “being a fun mom and creating summer memories that the children will cherish throughout their lives”. We shall see.

Speaking of fleeting time, Mark brought home the permission slip for me to sign for the study of Human Sexuality. Eeeee, sex ed! I instantly texted my husband the news, who was confused and thought that I had to sign the permission form for him to take it next year, in Grade Five. NOT SO. I know that in fourth grade they really mostly talk about body changes, puberty, and hygiene – which, to be honest, a lot of the kids could use, I say from my experience as Book Fair Lady. Deodorant and toothpaste, two very vital items in the Division Two world. But still, sex ed. It seems so grown up. “It might feel awkward and embarrassing, but you can always ask questions!” I said cheerfully, from the minivan driver’s seat. “Um, I think maybe we should ask DAD those questions,” Mark replied. YES. GOOD IDEA. ASK YOUR DAD.

Volunteering, though. I have what is known as “volunteer fatigue” which means that I have lost all enthusiasm I ever had for doing things for the school. I remember when Mark started kindergarten, and I was so thrilled to be involved in everything, with fresh ideas and plans. Now I’m just like fuck it all, who cares about school supplies anyway. I was asked to speak at the kindergarten orientation tomorrow night, which I’ve done in years past. Sure! No problem. I can come in and give a five minute speech about how volunteers are the backbone of the school community and education is a partnership between home and school, and please volunteer for the upcoming casino fundraiser, it’s awesome and we can buy SmartBoards. I can keep the cynicism at bay and put on my super fun enthusiastic face and all the cool kids are volunteering! But then I got an email asking me to come in at six, set up a table with handouts, and then be available for informal questions until 7:30. THE BEES ARE DOING WHAT NOW. I stewed about this for a bit, and wondered how on earth I could pull off such a thing, given that tomorrow the boys have karate and karate nights are a mad rush of everything. I grumped around feeling taken advantage of, until I realized that hey, this is a volunteer gig. I can change this. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE, PEOPLE. I emailed the AP and explained that I could do as she suggested, but maybe it would be more effective to give a brief speech about the importance of volunteering and the casino fundraiser, and then I could leave a signup form, and that would be my strong preference. She agreed to it all, and I was reminded that, yet again, the squeaky, but honey-sweet wheel gets all the grease and bees. Or something.

Sugar

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

On Monday I was at a pie party, to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Rolling Spoon. If you’re not reading it, you should: it’s a fun mix of food and music. Also, they interviewed BLUE RODEO. Just like that time I met Jim Cuddy! Remember that? No?

Copy (1) of Jim Cuddy

Gratuitous photo of me with Jim Cuddy.

But a pie party! Even though I don’t actually like pie, it was a blast. It turns out that I am in the vast minority, here, and that pie is very popular. Look at all these pies!

pie

Can you tell which is my offering? It’s the vegan one. Made with 100% real vegans.

I have to say, I’m pretty disappointed no one put a slice on the floor and yelled “FLOOR PIE!”.

floorpie

Maybe next time.

Comments

  1. Coincidentally, Eve came home yesterday and said cheerfully, “guess what we learned about today? PENISES!” She is in grade five, though, so I don’t know what’s up with your freaky perv school (kidding, kidding, all sex-positive in this house).
    I keep my volunteering to once a week in the library (because the books, the books are my friends, they whisper calming things to me when I hate all the people) and the odd classroom stint, because I know if I went overboard I would end up losing control of my temper and my considerable vocabulary and causing an intramural incident. Just yesterday I came very, very close to giving an insufferable teacher a piece of my mind. I believe I should go blog about that, actually. Regardless, I bow at your feet, diplomatic and tireless (okay, maybe not TOTALLY tireless) volunteer person.

  2. Ugh, summer. We have just over a week left here and I fluctuate between a hopeful, can-do attitude about it and utter despair.

  3. My feelings about summer can be illustrated by one example: “YAY, no more messing with school lunches!”/”Crap, that’s because the kids are HOME at lunch time.”

  4. Ah sex ed. Oldest just finished it at school. I heard . . . nothing at all about it. I am not the least bit surprised. I suspect he’d rather be poked in the eye with a stick than talk to me about sex.

    I have made clear on twitter and everywhere else that I’m also suffering from volunteer fatigue. This is too damned bad, however, because although Oldest starts middle school in September where they are not even remotely interested in having parents anywhere around (YAY), Youngest starts Kindergarten and I will be sucked in all over again. AAAGGGGHH. This video perfectly describes my feelings on volunteering these days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLcDr_jVJQQ

  5. Two more days of school here. One of my children brought home a note that his class needed donations of pencils and glue sticks with, like, seven days left of school. There is no WAY I am sending in new supplies for the last week of school, which is all assemblies and field trips anyway. Learn about creative problem solving and use crayons and tape. Or flour paste. Or give them double recess.

    Also, what StephLove and Swistle said.

  6. happy geek says:

    You wanna know what they cover in Sex ed? I can tell you. In PAINFUL detail as that has been a topic of TWO presentations this spring in the parent council meetings.
    The second presentation lead to a parent discussing “Woodies” her EXACT words, and I staring at my laptop DESPERATELY trying not to laugh.
    And as for volunteering, I have said NO. I am not letting my name stand for secretary next year as I may LOSE MY MIND if I do. and no one wants a crazy geek.
    Last meeting of the year is tonight. I will be the short one cartwheeling through Cochrane after it is over.

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